Twilight bolted down the stairs of their castle home into the recently outfitted library, where Spike was staring at a piece of paper, deep in thought.
“Spike!” Twilight called out.
“What’s up, Twi?” Spike responded, not bothering to lift his gaze. “Any luck with ideas?”
“Yep! There’s no way we can lose this competition with the idea I just came up with.” Twilight’s face gleamed with a proud smile.
“Really? Let’s hear it!” Spike jumped in his seat, putting on his own smile.
Just for a change of pace, Twilight decided that Spike and her should try and write a Power Ponies fanfiction for the bi-monthly contest that Fanfiction Today held. However, what was supposed to be a fun and lighthearted diversion turned into hours of failed brainstorming and headaches.
“Alright, here goes.” Twilight cleared her throat, bringing Spike to the edge of his seat in anticipation. “It’s going to be a riveting tale of romance and adventure upon the streets of Maretropolis. It revolves around Hum-Drum breaking his pattern of failure, and—”
“Nope. It’s not gonna work,” Spike interrupted, shaking his head and folding his arms.
“What? You didn’t even hear the entire idea yet!”
“Didn’t need to. It’s about Hum-Drum!” Spike responded.
“So?” Twilight asked, confusion emanating in her voice.
“Nobody likes Hum-Drum! There are ponies who won’t even read something if it has Hum-Drum as the main character. They’ll just look at it, say that it sucks, and move on.” Spike plopped his head in his palms, and let out a deep sigh.
“Psh, c’mon Spike… We live in an enlightened society. Nopony is that ignorant in this day and age! They can’t just... blindly judge something for no reason. ” Twilight chuckled to herself, but earned an eyeroll from her friend.
“They can, and they will. We live with stupid ponies, Twi. The sooner you learn that, the happier you’ll be.” Spike gave her a sad nod, and turned back to his paper.
“Well, what do you suggest, Spike?”
“Okay, I drew up this little outline for review. Tell me what you think.” Spike handed his outline to Twilight, who levitated it to reading distance.
Going over the plot he had written out, her face twisted further and further into one of distaste.
“Spike! This is… This is…”
“Perfect?”
“Terrible! It’s just a cheap plot about Zapp and the Masked Matter-Horn talking in the hideout, and then they start making out for no reason! Nopony will want to read this!” She crumpled the paper and threw it back at him.
“Correction: EVERYPONY will want to read this! Look at the top stories from last month’s issue.” Spike grabbed the most recent issue of Fanfiction Today, and flipped the pages until arriving at the correct one, and shoved it up to Twilight’s face.. “You see? In the top Ten highly appraised stories in the readers poll, there are three stories like the one I planned. In addition, there are also two mature stories, and one about Fili-Second eating a baked potato. There’s a method you have to follow, Twi!”
Twilight grimaced as the thought of the story she was about to write floated through her mind. “But Spike, it’s so… cliche! We’re basically just doing it because everypony else does it.”
“Yep. Sounds about right.”
“...Fine. Let’s get this over with.”
The two spent the better part of the next thirty minutes producing the fiction that would hopefully win them notoriety from the readers. With sweat drenched brows, cramping claws and the demoralized willpower that could only come from selling out to the crowd, they were finally done.
“Okay, Spike, let’s read what we got!”
“Ahem.” Spike cleared his throat and held up their conjoined masterpiece. “It says:”
It was a dark and stormy night in Maretropolis. The town was safe for the moment, so the Power Ponies took the opportunity to relax and get some much needed rest.
...All except two.
“Wait a second, Spike. Is it proper punctuation to use an ellipsis like that?”
“Twilight, be quiet and let me read.”
The hideout had a beautiful view of the entire city, and it was currently being appreciated by two members of the Power Pony group.
“I love these relaxed nights. So beautiful, so peaceful.” Zapp looked over to her friend, Masked Matter-Horn.
“I know. These times make you think about life. About those who truly matter.” Mask looked back toward Zapp, a smile adorning her face.
“I know what you mean. It makes you think about the ones you really love.”
“Wait a second!” Twilight interrupted once more. “Now that we’re reading this out loud, I just realized how out of character they are! They’d never talk like this in the comics!”
“Trust me, Twi… it won’t matter.”
The two Power Ponies looked into each other’s eyes for a brief moment. The world seemed to stop as their reflections receded into those beautiful pools of color.
“I love you, Zapp.”
“I love you too, Mask!”
They instantly slammed their lips against each other and rolled onto the floor. Their hooves stroking up and down each other’s bodies, they were lost in a world of bliss and love. Their tongues battled it out in a wrestling match of epic proportions.
“Tongue wrestling?” Twilight rolled her eyes.
“...Yes, Twilight.”
Just as they thought the situation couldn’t get any better, their lust reached new heights. Unfortunately, they had to breathe, so their mouths separated for a brief moment.
“I want to be with you… forever,” Zapp said, a thin string of saliva connecting their parted lips.
“I feel the same way! Let’s make it official!”
The ensuing night of passion eclipsed all notions of romance and lust the two had ever felt. And they loved it.
THE END
“Well, that was worst piece of literature I’ve ever had to sit through,” Twilight said, disgust dripping from her words. “I can’t believe you made me help write this atrocity! It’s generic, cliche, horribly paced, and makes no sense. It’s just an excuse for a lesbian make-out session!”
“Perfect! Popular list, here we come!”
Author's Note
note: i'm just poking fun at some of the stereotypes and whatnot on this site. No offense or attacking intended.
