DEATH

   I got my hexens. Great, now all I had to do was go to Mortimar’s place. I then heard a door slam open. It was Dash.

   “Twilight!” yelled Dash, “Come quick! It’s an emergency!”

   And we did just that.

   I had no idea what was going on. I rode on Dash while Twilight walked. We went to a school yard around noon with a bunch of ponies standing around staring at...whatever. I wasn’t able to see what was going on, so I moved through the crowd. I heard many gasps because I was a different creature than them. Bit judgemental, aren’t they? I was then stopped by what looked like a police man. Pony. Whatever.

   “Are you a medic?” he asked.

   I then remembered I was a medic in World War 2. “Yes” I reply, “I was one in World War 2. Now let me through.” The cop hesitated for a minute and said, “Well, alrighty then.”

   “Hey, Markham,” Dash said floating over me, “Don’t do it, what’s there can not be unseen.” “Dash,” I replied, “I’ve seen many things that I wish I’ve never even heard of.” Dash floated lower to ground level. “So just stay here,” I said, “I’ll be fine.” “Okay,” Dash whispered.

   I went through the audience and saw something so shocking I regret not listening to Dash.

   There were two ponies lying dead; one orange one and one sky blue one. Their heads were decapitated. Their eyes were impaled on stakes and there was a little walkie talkies on the side of them. I picked it up. It had a note on it.

   “To: Markham Keen”

  Yeah, I’m sure only good things can happen here. I speak into it. “Hello?” I ask.

    “”Yes!” a voice said, “You finally picked up! I’ve missed you all these years, you war-hungry pig, you! How are things?

   “Listen, whoever you are,” I say, “I don’t know why you're doing this, but you better stop or shit’s gonna fly fanwards.”

   “Hmph,” he laughed, “still got that smart-ass sense pf humor, huh? You really haven’t changed a single bit…”

   “Why are you doing this?” I asked assertively.

   “I heard that you’ve escaped,” he explained, “and I wanted to bring you back home.” Home? No fuckin’ way. “Oh, and I heard of your big plan”\

   “Who told you?”, I asked.

   “Oh, just a friend of yours that you’ve left unattended…”

   “Zecora,” I whisper.

   “That’s right!” he sang under his sinister voice.

   I don’t know if Dash overheard, but she had a worried look on her face.

   “What have you done with her?!?!” I said angrily.

   “Well…” he said sluggishly, “let’s just say she was great when we were having her over for dinner. She gave us some of her pie for dessert.” He then laughed maniacally.

   That was it. This is where I put my foot down. You can do whatever you want with me, but after what he did here is going too far.

   “I’m going to hunt you down and rip you a new asshole, you shit eating cock head!” I threaten.

   “Good!” he excitedly said, “See you at the Devil’s Playground!” He then hung up the walkie talkie.

   Now I was puzzled. What the hell just happened? This guy was fucking crazy. Now I needed directions to the Devil’s Playground.

   I then saw a little colt crying by my side. He was grey with orange mane. It was a bit spiky. And raggedy. Hard to explain. “They were my best friends…” said the little colt. It then gave me a hug. I then hugged him back. “Hey,” he said trying to hold back tears, “I don’t have a dad. Can you be mine? I’m going to be so lonely without my best friends around me. Please, just for a few days?”

   "Don't you have a mother?" I asked.

   "Yeah," he said, "but it's not the same without a dad around." I sighed.

   "Alright," I said, "You know where you're mom is?"

   "She's at home doing paperwork," he replies, "She rules the underworld."

   Holy shit, that is cool.

   "Hey, Mr. Keen!" Twilight yelled, "Hurry up!"

   "I need to go somewhere!" I said, "You'll have to go on with your day without me!"

   Twilight looked worried. "But I don't know if those hexens are stable!" said Twilight.

   "Well," I said, "then at least it was fun while it lasted!" And that was it. I then walked away. Nothing else was said between me and her.

   "So, show me where your mom is," I order.

   "Alight!" he said excitedly, "I can't believe I got a new dad! I bet we're going to have so much fun together! Oh, thank Celestia for this gift!"

   I don't know who Celestia is, so I don't question it. We wonder off and pass by some houses that are just trees with doors. Or, at least, that's how I see it. How they even make those things? They must be a pain in the ass to make.

   We then come across a basement deep in the forest. "Your mom lives in a basement?" I ask, "That's kinda sad." The colt pouted.

   "No!" he said, "It's a secret lair. Look!" He then opened the door.  There was a long staircase leading down to where  I saw a throne.

   “Wow,” I said, “Holy balls.”

   “Hey!” a woman’s voice shouted, “Don’t curse around my child! Why are you even here?”

   “He’s gonna be our new daddy!”, said the colt.

   “Um,” I say, “I’m starting to have second thoughts on this whole thing.”

   “What are you?” she said.

   “A human,” I say, “and a very enraged one, too.”

   “A human, huh?” she said, “How...exotic…”

   “Yeah, listen,” I say, “I need directions to this place called ‘the Devil’s Playground’, so if you could navigate or escort me there, that would be much appreciated.”

   “No!” she denied, “At least, not until you give me your name…”

   Oh, I know where this is going. I think for a moment about what I'm getting myself into. I could just go back to Twilight's place, but she isn't the God of the underworld, and if the Devil's Playground is there, she's gonna know it better than me. "How about you tell me yours?" I ask.

   "Fine then," she says, "My name is Deus Umbra, and that's my kid right there, Firefly."

   "But my REAL name is Commander Firefly," he corrects.

   "That's nice," I reply, "I'm Markham."

   "Well," said Umbra, "Now that I've gotten that out of the way, I'll escort you to the Devil's Playground."

   Fuckin' finally. Deus Umbra then goes up to a magical portal. "Awesome!" I say, "This should take us right to the Devil's Playground!"

   "Actually," said Umbra, "I don't have enough magic to go straight to there, so the closest we will get is about 5 miles from the destination."

   There's always a catch, isn't there? But then I remember something. "Can we use that to go back it=n time?" I ask.

   "You could," she said, " but with the amount of magic we have, we can only go back to three weeks ago."

   "Never mind, then," I say.

   "I'm sick of all this talking! I want to go on an adventure!" whined Firefly as he did multiple poses.  I laughed a little bit.

   "Sounds fine to me," I add. We then all proceed to jump into the portal.

   When we jumped in, our cells were being scattered across time and space. It felt very cold. Firefly would've probably whined again at this point.

   We then all ended up in a rocky terrain. "Five miles to go..." I said to myself, "And I ain't got all day." And thus Umbra, Firefly, and I were known as Markham's Militia.