This one time in Ponyville...

by justarandombrony

Rating: teen
Tags: Twilight Sparkle, Random, Gore, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Alternate Universe, Human, Spike, Comedy, Other, Shining Armor, Pinkie Pie, Crossover
Length: 2969

This one time in Ponyville...this happened.

One day in Ponyville a whole lot of random things started happening. Umm...that's it. You'll laugh, you'll laugh some more, you know probably.

*WARNINGS* This is pretty random. Some content may be harmful to the mind. Readers discretion is advised.

Published 2012-04-04 07:24:02 UTC
Last updated 2012-07-27 06:53:50 UTC

This one time in Ponyville...

*Insert title here*
By justarandombrony

One day in Ponyville, Twilight Sparkle was walking down the road with Spike, when suddenly she saw Octavia dressed like Ezio Auditore with bows instead of knives when she asked her "Hey Octavia. What's going on?"

"Don't you know? The Russians are taking over!" She replied.

"Wha-" Twilight was interrupted by Abraham Lincoln holding a SPAZ 12.

"Fore score and seven years ago, I found out that the Russians were trying to destroy our way of life." Abe said loading his shot gun. They were all interrupted by a group of Russian vampires holding houses.

"Get down!" A random pony yelled as the houses were thrown at the trio.

Out of nowhere Rainbow Dash appeared with Batman riding on her back.

"GET TO DA CHOPPA!!" Arnold Schwarzenegger yelled as the Russian vampires rushed at the group.

They all ran into "the choppa" which turned out to be a Pelican drop ship from Halo. They were greeted by Iron Will who pulled them in. Suddenly Batman jumped out and pulled out batrangs. He then threw the 'rangs at the vampires who then turned into dust.

"Got 'em." Batman yelled at the group in the Pelican. Out of nowhere Mario and Luigi jumped on Batman who was then flattened.

"Go help him." Master Chief said as he pushed Spike out of the ship. Spike landed on Luigi who jumped in the air and fell through the ground.

"Oh no! Mamma Mia!" Mario said as he ran from the baby dragon...right into Dovahkiin, who then yelled: "FUS RO DA!!!"

"Oh no!" Spike said as he was blasted back into the Pelican.

"Nope" The engineer said as his neck extended to go into his floating hat. Then Shining Armor appeared with Prince Blueblood.

The Pelican fell and landed on somepony's house. The group got out and started to fight the Russians/ Mario/ Dovahkiin. Derpy Hooves appeared with Doctor Whooves and a Weeping Angel pony.

"Oh great!" Rainbow Dash said. "The Doctor is here to help!"

The fight was never going to end when Jesus floated down to the ground holding two M60's. He gave one to Twilight who held it in her telekinetic grip.

"Lets show them who's boss!" Jesus yelled as he charged the Russians.

"LEROY JENKHOOVES!!!" Leroy Jenkhooves yelled as he charged into a group of Russians.

"FUS RO DA!!!" Dovahkiin yelled and blew Leroy back. Just then angels sang out in a chorus as Chuck and Buck, his brother, Norris fell from the heavens. Chuck Round-house kicked Dovahkiin in the face killing him instantly. He then pulled out an M134 Vulcan mini-gun from his beard.

"Open fire!" Buck Norris yelled at his brother as he blew The Horn of Gondor, summoning the dead army. Out of nowhere Big Brother rose from the ground and grabbed a stick and ate it. He then threw-up a machete.

"I'm always watching you!" Big Brother said. Shining Armor then threw Prince Blueblood at Big Brother, impaling him.

"In Soviet Russia, gun shoots you!" George Washington said as he shot a cannon at the battle. Jesus seeing this stopped the bomb with his fist and with his Jesus powers he turned the Russian George Washington into American George Washington.

"WAIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Princess Luna said. "cool story bro, but it needs more ponies!" She then, with her unicorn powers eliminated the fourth wall and turned every living thing in to a pony. Pinkie Pie seeing this decided to throw a massive party to celebrate.

Out of nowhere the "HAX!" guy appeared and got ready to say "HAX!", but then was interrupted by the "Yeah!" Pony who said "HAX!"

"He took my job." The 'HAX!' guy said. Just then a group of random rednecks appeared.

"He took his job!" one said.

"He took his dog!" another said.

"He broke his jaw!"

"He tickle her!"

"Took er jerr!"

"Durker Durr!" A random redneck jumped out of the crowd and yelled "Ker ker ker!" before falling to the ground and dyeing.

"Wow, this is the most random day ever!" Twilight sparkle said.

"Yeah." Spike said. "Wanna' join?"

"You bet!" she answered and they rushed into battle. Just then Angel ran in with a rocket launcher and started to blow up the place.

The battle raged on for a really long time. eventually the Russians were defeated and then Russia was blown up. The world became ponies and Equestria expanded its borders. Jesus went back to Las Vegas where he found a carer working with two dudes and a white tiger doing magic. Chuck and Buck Norris went back to heaven where they wait there for a while. The fourth wall was rebuilt stronger and beater.

A random story comes to and end as you, the reader say "Wait, what?". I may or may not make another story like this, so yeah. Thus ends the random story. You may be asking yourself "What is this loon thinking?" Well, I'm not so no. Why must all stories have good endings? Wait, mine doesn't.

*Different ending*

The Russians drive our heroes back and then Pinkie Pie becomes Pinkamina Diane Pie and bakes everyone into cupcakes and the ponies eat pie. The end!

Authors note: Umm wow. This is my first attempt at making a story, so please judge. Tell me in the comments if you think I should make more stories like this. I am now attempting to fill space, so yeah.

TEH EPIC BATTLE OF EQUESTRIA AND TEH REST OF TEH UNIVERSE (MEMESPLOSION)

Lets thank zeewhitewolf for his read-through's. Here are the urls. (Ctrl+c then Ctrl+v)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GZ1kOfoqoLI

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B4_gGbbgEyU

And lets not forget the battle song made by TheSweetestBelle (not specifically for the story duh)

url here:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M23k2b57XCw&lc=KbQI6Kb5Zenyi8sDnHL0aU24yCXwucEg1GML1a4iCrs&feature=inbox

My little read through: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IV-fdMddmwg

This one time in Ponyville...
chapter 3
MEMESPLOSION

In Russia, Twilight and Spike were dancing around the corpses of seven Russians, when Abe said

"Let us kill the vampire-Russians."

"Okay!" Twilight and Spike said in unison.

As Nyan Cat was trampling through a mass of Russians, the internet was fighting.

"NoooooOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooo0000000000oooooooozeroOOOO!!!!111!!!!11!!one!!!eleven!!" Trollolol guy yelled. "We need to work together."

"YEAH!!" the YEAH pony said.

Seemingly out of nowhere a group of people came out of nowhere.

"YOU WILL NOT HURT FLUTTERSHY!!!!!!!!" the group said. They then started to sing a really good song while stomping the Communazis heads in with a size >9000 shoe.

"Wake up in the morning feelin' like Twilight.
I'm covered in ALL of my books 'cause I was up all night." they started to sing.

"What?" Twilight asked.

The crowd continued to sing:

"Sit with Spike, then head out, and you know it ain't tragic.
I'm hanging with ALL of my girls 'cause friendship is magic!"

"Umm..." Spike said.

The crowd pulled swords out of the air then continued to slice down the communazis.

"I'm talkin'
Pinkie Pie Stuffs her face, face
AJ and RD go race, race
Rare and Fluttershy move with grace, grace"

Fluttershy started to sink back into a house, when angle bunny picked up the house and used it to throw at the communazis. She then decided to fly away and not stay to finish the battle. She killed 3590 communazis and 9435 vampires.

"Vinyl Scratch is droppin' notacleverpony
MictheMic is sayin' haters blow me
'Cause you know we're all a little Lulzy..." the group still continued to sing.
"Non-stop, at the top
Ponies blown the gala up
Tonight, stow your fright
Princess bring the sunlight
Clip clop, hot to trot
Cutie marks up on the plot, yo" at this time George Washington nearly got bitten by a vampire communazi. He then yelled "Woah Woah Woah Woah Woah Woah Woah Woah Woah Woah-" but he was cut off by the singing.

"Get bucked, Self destruct
'Cause tonight the parties sucked
We ain't done, havin' fun
Until we can see the sun
Clip clop, record drop
And these mares'll never stop, yo" by now the battle was at full force, but things were about to get worse.

"So we trot down the block, colts be turnin' their heads
And they be shoutin' at us mares 'cause we be droppin' 'em dead
Got all these stallies rollin' with us 'cause they think that they're swaggin'
But they don't even get a glance if they don't look like Big Mac" out of nowhere Big Mac kicked a communazi's head off and said "Eeyep!"

"We're talkin'
Girls are always lookin' hot, hot
Swag and Maros both want that plot, plot
BronyMike'll never get a shot, shot" one of the bronies yelled out "HEY!"

"Ha ha!

Th-th-th-The wings are always gonna pop, pop
'Til Celestia makes us stop, stop
Celestia makes us stop, stop
Celly makes us." The Princess of the sun then whispered "run!" to Twilight, who had gotten stuck.

The group then realized that their singing was getting them nowhere so they decided to sing louder.

"Cupcake, time to bake
All the pastries we can make
Too cute, follow suit
With Sweetie, Applebloom and Scoot
Clip clop, Givin' props
EqD is at the top, yo"

"What is going on?" Twilight asked?

"DJ,(DJ!)
Oh Alex S,
You drop that bass
Up in my space
Man, I feel that"

The group of bronies continued to slice down the communazis and vampires.

"Hooves in the air,
man, I feel that
your beats are hot
Yeah I feel it (DJ!)"

"This is the weirdest story I have ever heard!" Pinkie Pie said. Wait...what?

Yep!

No Pinkie!

Yes!

NO!

I am not going to leave.

Fine you can help tell the story.

YAY!

But only help. Okay?

Fine.

Anyway! Back to the story.

"Daniel Ingram,
Your songs inspire
A raging fire
Right inside me
Hooves in the air
Throw your hooves up
Throw your hooves up!"

By this time the group surrounded the country and started to kill everything. Then one of the bronies yelled out:

"No party is the same without T-S-B!"* The bronies continued to finish their song.

"Non-stop, at the top
Ponies blown the gala up
Tonight, stow your fright
Princess bring the sunlight
Clip clop, hot to trot
Cutie marks up on the plot, yo"

"Yeah, we kinda crashed The Grand Galloping Gala didn't we?" Rainbow Dash asked no one in particular.

"Shut it Rainbow!" Twilight yelled.

"Get bucked, Self destruct
'Cause tonight the parties sucked
We ain't done, havin' fun
Until we can see the sun
Clip clop, record drop
And these mares'll never stop, yo"

The group then stopped singing, because all of the vampire-communazis in the area were dead.

"We should find the rest of them" The Great Pumpkin* said.

"YEAH!" the YEAH! guy yelled.

TO BE CONTINUED...

Authors note:

Yeah, Yeah I know it is a chapter about a song, so what.

Yeah!

NOT NOW PINKIE!!!

I will make another chapter continuing the story later eventually...

* means I do not own these thing that are marked. They belong to their owners, not me. PLEASE DON'T SUE ME!!!!!!!!!!

TEH EPIC BATTLE BETWEEN EQUESTRIA, WITH HELP OF THE INTERNET, AND RUSSIA! (MEMESPLOSION PART TWO!)

I might conclude this epic story in this chapter, you know, maybe.

This one time in Ponyville...
Chapter 4(5?)
TEH EPIC BATTLE BETWEEN EQUESTRIA, WITH HELP OF THE INTERNET, AND RUSSIA!(MEMESPLOSION PART TWO)
By: justarandombrony

After the song was over, Edward from "Twilight" appeared out of nowhere.

"Oh no! Kill it with fire!!!!" Twilight yelled.

"OH YEAH!!!" the Koolaid Man yelled as he stomped over some communazis to kill Edward.

" You cannot kill me, I have emo!!!" he yelled as he pulled a sword out of his foot face, because his face is a foot, deal with it.

He ran to kill some of the good guys, but Pinkamina Pie pulled out a scalpel and slashed his kidneys.

Oh, I remember that! Yeah, the rest of the story can be found here.

Okay?

After Pinkamina was finished, Edward was literally everywhere.

"Oh no!" cried a 12 year old girl, "you cannot kill him!"

"It's friday!" yelled Rebecca Black yelled as she rushed to confront the little girl.

"You cannot kill me, for I am Justin Beiber!" Oh, that was Justin, sorry for the mix-up.

Rebecca then ripped Justin's throat out yelling: "There can only be one!"

BANG! BANG! BANG!

Three shots rang out as Rebecca was shot. Everyone turned to see a BLU spy. The spy then holstered his gun, only to be stabbed by his own knife, which Twilight had stolen. Everyone continued to fight.

There was an awful noise as Tac Nayn burst out of the fabric of space time being ridden by Benedict Arnold.

"My old foe!" Gorge Washington said.

"We meet again, Washington!" Arnold replied.

The two started an old style wrestling match with knives, as Nyan cat and Tac Nayn fought. Heman and Skellator joined the long fight. 50 cent shot Lady Gaga, who stabbed Tupac, who dissed Katie Parry, who yelled at Slim Shady, who fired 100,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 bullets at, and missed, Snookie, who tore Nikie Minaj's head off, who was shot by every decient person in the universe, who was on the side of the Equestrians and the internet, who were still fighting Russia, who were getting board of all of this comma who crap, who wouldn't stop, who Pinkie help me, who was nowhere to be found because she was my computer, who was typing this, who is getting annoying, who

STOP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thank you Pinkie!

Yep!

Umm...Russia was crushed by Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds being sung by The Beatles, who were making the music for this battle. Fits, doesn't it. I mean who doesn't like good music? Oh, wait, the whole world.

"Wow, If this goes on any longer then the world is going to explode." Spike said.

Then Pony God came down and gave Jesus a raise and turned to Jesus(not the Spanish worker who was mentioned earlier in the sentence.) and turned him into Super Jesus. Pony God was Lauren Faust, so I guess it is really Pony Goddess.

Pony Goddess then turned all of the bad people into dead, and gave the good beings new lives in The New Galactic Republic, that was governed by the old Rebel Alliance and Luke Skywalker.

THE END!

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.
.
.
.
.

For now!

Yay! Now that that is done I can work on other things. I might pull out more stories like this, so yes or no? Now, it is 12 A.M. and I need sleep. Thank you all who read it, and thank you zeewhitewolf for the read thrus, and no, I do not own Team Fortress Two. That belongs to its respected owner(s). PLEASE DON'T SUE ME!!! I will make the story of how Edward died, if you want me to.

Real different ending

*As you can tell, I cannot spell*

Real Alternate Ending

Joseph Stalin jumps out of the grave and then shoots Abe Lincoln, who dies. He then grabs Abe's shotgun and shoots Iron will. Mario then Falcon pawnches Jesus in the face. Chuck trips and gets beaten by Bruce Lee. The mane six assemble and use the elements of Discord to find the Elements of harmony, which doesn't work for John Lenin destroys them. Princess Celestia and Princess Luna disappear and end up on the moon.

"Oh no! The world is ending!" Twilight Sparkle yells. Just then the world explodes, because the Russians blew up the core with a nuke and the world exploded.

Communazis!

Chapter/Part 2
Communazis!

Thank you Chill Mists(Chilly) for the idea.

You may have thought it was over, but you are wrong. Twilight Sparkle was walking with Jesus, when suddenly a Russian dressed like a Nazi appeared. Seeing this Jesus made him a sack of flower.

"Oh no the Russians are back!" Spike yelled.

"I'm afraid it's much worse than that." Jesus said, taking off his B.A. sunglasses "They're Communazis!"

"Communazis!?" Leroy Jenkhooves half yelled, half asked.

"I am afraid so." Abe said.

Just then the group was surrounded by Communazis. Chuck Norris called his brother, buck, to his aid. Together they ripped the Communazis to shreds, but as one died 200 replaced them, so they were doomed.

"Well, we are going to die!" Twilight said

"Nope.avi!" said Chuck Testa as he made his stuffed bear come to life with his powers.

A group of Communazis burst into flame as the bear ate berries.

Wait. What?

No Pinkie. You are not in this story.

Awww...but I wanted to be helpful.

No!

Bye bye!

Okay...that was weird. Now back to the story.

A group of Communazis jumped out of the crowd and yelled:

"Это самый случайный история никогда!"

"Wat?" Rainbow Dash asked.

Just then Jesus pulled out a hole and threw it a the ground. A very random Ringo Starr appeared. It used "All you need is love". It was super effective. Seemingly out of nowhere a lot of ponies ran up singing "Sargent Peppers Lonely Hearts Club Band". Together they fought the Communazis back to Russia and decided to win them at a game of checkers.

The checkers game lasted 10 minutes before the Equestrians beat the Communazis, who got rage and flipped the game board over and yelled: "Vodka!!!!!!!!" before bursting into dust because they were also vampires.

Nyan cat ran/flew towards the major battle singing the battle song of the internet. Just then the Internet army rose from a hill and rushed to the battle yelling: "Leroy Jenkins!!". The army fought for what seemed like 5 minutes, because it was, before a loud roar was heard.

LLLLEEEEEEERRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOOOOOOYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY JJJJJJJJJJEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEENNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNNNNNSSSSSSSSSSSS!" It said before they saw what it was.

"It's Leroy and Leroy!" Rarity gasped.

"And The Doctor." replied Dr. Whooves.

Next Chapter: The Epic Battle For Equestria And The Rest Of The Universe. (Also known as Memesplosion.)