Starting Over On Flat Hooves
"Jasmine," an older voice said.
"Just leave me alone, Judy," the younger girl replied. "You don't know what I'm going through right now."
"But I do know. You're not the only one in this house who got bullied..."
"Like I said, you don't know what I'm going through right now..."
With that said, the nappy headed young fourteen year old girl stepped away from her big sister's presence. It was true. She was being picked on at school and nobody is bothering to help her out. Her grades were averaged at an eighty-five, but her intellect reached farther than that. The only thing that made her behind is her homework.
Jasmine Kerling was her name. She lives in an apartment in Brooklyn, New York with her three sisters and mother. She never knew her father. It is said that he would come inside the house and leave after a few minutes to go back to work. However, her mind wandered off to bigger subjects in the matter.
It was only logical that he left the family after the youngest was born. Even if he were to come inside, he was only a stranger to everyone.
Jasmine, however, believes that everyone in her house is a stranger. She wouldn't make eye contact with any of them and has her mind on everything else that's electrical. If she had homework to do, she wouldn't bother doing it at all. It would just stack up in her bookbag until everything overflowed, soon having to throw everything out and still have a perfect eighty-five for the third time this second semester of her writing academy.
For a school of writing, why is it that everyone base their love on hatred for one another? Especially if that hatred is on a girl who does better than anyone else?
Was it fair to the poor Carribean-American girl? Is it because she's different from the others? If everyone were the same, how would the world learn to hate or love at all? No one is the same. Everyone is different.
So why is it that different people are the most hated...?
Going into her shared room, Jasmine laid on the top bunk of the bunkbed and sprawled herself around. Her face had tear streaks visible, reaching down her chin. It was another horrible day at school. She found a worm in her desk and a nest of cockroaches in her locker. Afterwards, a random boy walked up to her and gave her his number.
"You're not cute, don't try to get the wrong idea," he told her, handing her the piece of paper. "Maybe after school, you and me could go to the Janitor's Closet and I can stretch out that mouth of yours."
That comment struck her hard. She ran away crying to the principal's office, got the boy in trouble for sexual harassment, and in the midst of everything, got dirty looks from the boy's friends. She got flipped off and flipped on her back in front of a bunch of girls, just so they can get the attention they wanted.
Then, they spat on her.
As she wiggled free, she accidentally pushed them into the girls and made them topple over. One of them got a crack in one of their front top teeth. Funny as it seems, Jasmine ran away before they could get up to beat her up.
Jasmine ran all the way home, leaving school early around lunch time. She's never going to hear the end of it from her mother. Hearing that one of her daughters cut half of the school day just to come home will piss her off more than that little discussion that they had when she first started middle school.
Jasmine rolled her eyes, never wanting to recall that dreadful moment anymore. She buried her head in her soft but smelly pillow. Her glasses were messed up, having been flipped on her back by a bunch of rude boys. One of them grabbed her glasses and threw it against the wall several times. Now one of her lenses were missing, and it will take at least a week and a half to get new ones. Jasmine threw them off her face and placed them gently on one of her stuffed teddy bears, who so kindly hugged them close to their furry chest. She giggled. If only everyone would smile genuinely at each other...
But no one always get what they want now, do they?
Her chocolate brown eyes wandered away from her pillow and onto the ground. She heard a little squeak and decided to check and see who it was. Of course, the answer was obvious. Her littlest sister, the wash-belly of the family, Janelle. Why was she here so early?
"Jasmine, you came home early," Janelle exclaimed, flashing a hyperactive smile. "Did you have a half-a-day too?"
Right... Janelle has parent-teacher conference today. Jasmine forgot all about it, but of course, she wouldn't be thinking about that at a time like this. What kind of excuse can she pull off so her mother won't get furious with her and ground her for skipping the rest of the school day just to come home? It's not like she would understand anyway. Her mother would always misunderstand something or quickly jump into conclusion without using correct evidence and not wanting to hear what others say so she can always be right, even though most of the time, she isn't.
Judy walked into the room, giving a concerned look to Jasmine. At this point, Jasmine refused to look at her big sister. In a few years, she'll soon get fed up with her behavior and stop being around her anyway. It's only a matter of time before a massive screaming showdown happens and a big "l hate you" bomb will drop, leaving the two sisters at a standstill and not talking to each other anymore.
Jasmine loves her sisters, but they were annoying to deal with.
"Hey nana," Judy greeted, waving at Janelle.
"Hey juju," Janelle greeted back, hugging her.
"Mom is coming home soon. She'll be able to go to your parent-teacher conference today."
"Yay, I get to see my report card!"
Jasmine kept burying her head in her musty pillow. If life were as soft as this bed, everytime she fell, she would never get hurt. That kind of life, she would love to be in. She always fell down when life came around the corner to drag her to the nearest boys' bathroom and almost have all of her clothes get wet by the girls giving her swirlies.
Life, right now, was a pile of rocks, a bunch of them sticking together to hold a piece of paper up from the ground, and tear apart when wet. That paper soon dissolving within the rocks, slowly and inevitably, becoming one with them. A heavy burden sinking into their petrified dirt, carrying the pieces of memories that were once shared and distorted.
Probably a little walk around the hallway will calm her from her depressive state. She could listen to music while pacing back and forth in the cold hallway on the first floor of the apartment.
Yeah, that sounds like a pretty good idea.
~
Walking around with earphones in her ears, Jasmine whispered the lyrics to herself. She had fun with it, in the process of daydreaming about silly things like candy growing on trees or a world without humans. Even if she was a human herself, it would've been better if everyone were a different species but human.
Humans ruin a lot of good things, even though they create better stuff in the process of destroying these precious things. While they make an iPad, an endangered species goes extinct. While an iPhone 5 comes out, the waters are more polluted.
It's the same cycle.
She was too busy into her music, she didn't even realize that the door to the outside world opened. Her mother stepped through the door, an indifferent expression on her face, but it was more puzzling than that.
When she caught sight of Jasmine, her face grimaced and she scowled silently under her breath, approaching the distracted teenager. Once Jasmine caught sight of her mother, she instantly took both earphones out of her ear.
"I got a call from your principle," she began, crossing her arms. "They want to discuss your rebellious behavior and how you could improve on being a better student in the future."
"Excuse me?" Jasmine asked, her face giving an oh-so-confused expression. "When have I once showed any rebellious behavior?"
"Maybe now since I don't see you in school."
"I was going to get beat up by kids who don't even like me. I basically had a good reason to runaway from school."
"That's not a good reason. You shouldn't have done anything to upset them in the first place!"
It resorted to her mother screaming at her and making false accusations again. She wanted so badly to put the earphones back in her ears and walk away but that would get her in even more trouble and get her MP3 player taken away.
However, with a false accusation like that, she was ready to defend herself and argue back with more accurate evidence.
"Exactly what did I do to upset them? I did nothing but do my work and be nice to the teachers and peers around me," Jasmine began. "I hope you do realize that I've been getting bullied pretty often ever since I first started middle school, right?"
"Bullshit," her mother seethed. "I saw those kids with my own eyes and they have been nothing but kind to you."
"That's because you're my mother and if you caught them trying to do anything to me, they would think you were going to press charges against them."
"I wouldn't press charges on those who've been nice to you. You were probably asking to get picked on anyways with your little stink ass attitude towards others. Maybe if you were..."
Here we go with the comparisons...
"...just like your big and little sister..."
Jasmine was two seconds away from putting her earphones back in.
"...maybe you would learn a thing or two in that empty head of yours and stop getting low ass grades."
Jasmine's mouth gaped open. That statement was a huge load of BULLSHIT!
"I always come home with a perfect score of 85. That's not a low grade!" Jasmine argued.
"Don't raise your voice at me," her mother threatened her. "I don't care for 80s. I care for 90s and 100s. Unless you get your shit together and actually start trying to do your work, I'm not listening, nor helping you out with any problem you have at school. You're on your fucking own."
With that said, her mother brushed past her and went upstairs. Jasmine stood there with a ghastly look. Even her own mother, the only one who she thought she could trust, wouldn't help her stop the bullying that was happening to her. She couldn't believe it.
It was as if she was supposed to be bullied and not do a thing about it.
A tear slid down her cheek, her lip quivering in dissatisfaction. She hated it. She hated her mother. She hated the kids at her school. She hated this house. She hated her father for leaving. She hated her mother even more for aborting a little brother that was supposed to be alive and well, but now resides inside her as a lifeless body. She killed him, and now, she'll kill her off next. Let the weak perish and leave the strong left standing.
If that's how they want to play, she'll just play along.
~
She was on top of the narrow roof, looking down at the ant-like people below who were passing by and minding their own business. This is where she will end it all. Maybe a big fall on the head will instantly kill her, or give her a bad concussion and unable to wake up for years. Whichever works best, she just doesn't want to deal with the rude people anymore.
Jasmine stood by the edge of the roof, taking a long look down at how far the drop is. It wasn't that far away, nor was it that close. If she fell at the right speed, she could die. Other than that, it would only leave her unconscious. She took one foot off the edge...
"Hey! What are you doing?!" called out a random stranger.
She searched for the voice, and sure enough, it was a random guy. He screamed to the point where five other people are looking up to where she was. Now why did he have to blow her cover for? She can't even die in peace without someone trying to get into her business.
A woman came up to the building, looking up with horrified eyes. She obviously knows what Jasmine was planning.
"Please, whatever you do, don't jump!" the woman screamed. "There's no reason to end something so precious!"
"Listen to her, she's a psychiatrist!" a teenage girl called out.
Oh great, she got the attention of a psychiatrist. This isn't going to end well than how she hoped. Why should she stop from what she was planning to do? Nobody likes her. She's better off sprawled out on the ground, dying and smiling because she wanted to be anywhere but here.
Jasmine wiped away another tear that dared to fall, but others kept falling after it. It became a drizzle, to a stream. Afterwards, a waterfall of tears and loud sniffling. A pain in her heart slowly began to get bigger. Why do people care after she plans to kill herself? Is it because they actually care? No, that can't be right. They just want her alive so that they won't be so bored and be able to pick on her however and whenever they want. The thought slowly sunk in.
People were screaming at her, begging for her not to jump. She wasn't going to stand for the lies anymore. Jasmine spread her arms out, leaned forward, and dived towards the Earth's crust. Many ran to a spot where they thought she was going to fall so they could catch her, but she fell closer to the wall and the others weren't so close to the wall.
It wasn't long before she felt the impact on her back. Damn it. She was hoping to fall on her head. However, the distance of the fall felt longer than expected. She felt that she was going to choke up her heart and spit it out. It was beating quick and heavily, making it hard for her to breathe. It gave her a headache, and getting hotter every second.
After what seemed to be forever that she heard the screamings and concerned of the people, she blacked out, not hearing anybody anymore.
~
A shuffling sound was heard. A wet substance touched her frail skin. Was she dead? Her eyes were too heavy to find out. She wanted to stay here in this comfortable position for as long as she wanted. However, she soon has to wake up, since apparently, it doesn't seem as if she died.
Jasmine slowly opened her eyes, quickly closing them back after seeing a series of vibrant colors. It burned her eyes more than the morning sunrise. Quickly, and unusually getting used to it, Jasmine stood up on all fours.
Wait, fours? That can't be right...
She blinked at the scenery around her. It was very cartoon-like. A forest that looks wicked, covered in moldy leaves and occupied by small creatures that look dangerous if confronted by them. It's a dream. It was only a dream.
But that didn't mean that she was going to just sit here.
She journeyed across the soft, rocky setting looking at the creatures that dared to meet her gaze. They all turned around after only a few seconds of looking into her eyes. Was she scary-looking? Did she turn into a four-legged monster or something? A little pond was located just a few steps ahead of her.
Only one way to find out...