Fallout Equestria: a salvager's tale

by d3rpy

Rating: teen
Tags: Dark, Alternate Universe, Comedy, Random, Adventure
Length: 5098

I redoing the chapters so if they seem iffy what ill fix them

This is the tale of Salvage not your super pony who can lift 20 guns and is invincable but your common earth pony who just want to go home and have a nice nuka cola. but it seems nothing can ever be normal after a trip to the big Hor-c and a visit by pinks
(first fan fic tell weather i should keep going or try my hand at something else)

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2012-04-04 08:34:01 UTC

trouble at the big Hor-c

Now I bet you want to her a story of some wasteland hero who comes in guns blazing to save the day, or an unstoppable knight who fight for the paragon of hope and justice, but no. Your stuck with me Salvage just your normal run of the mill earth pony with only a talent for messing things up. I mean I go out trying to earn my namesake and I get sucked into a huge adventure, when all I want to do head back and enjoy a Nuka cola and count the rad-roaches. Well I guess I better start with the setting to be all proper like, and no before you even ask this story didn't happen in a Galaxy far far way or the idealize pre-war Equestria either. Nope just right here in the good old capital wasteland, the new stomping grounds of the “stable dweller”, it wasn’t always this way with traders tradin, raiders raidin, and the rest of us just trying to make a living. It all started a long while back bout 10 years before Little Pip first stuck her head out of that vault chasing Velvet Remedy. thou a few things about the wasteland stay the same, there still a watcher trying to find the bearers, Dj-pon3 still spitting out the beats and the goddess still capturing ponies and try to make alicorns. so yeah war never changes the people and the places do but not good ol war the one constant in the wastes.

=================================================================================================

well while your here i might as well tell you bout myself. I’m a normal earth pony with dark orange coat and a grey mane well for my build, no I’m not a tank like stallion in fact I was picked on as a colt well that and the fact that I have a pile of junk as my cutie mark. I mean really my classmates get guns, mines,and creatures and I get a pile of scrap metal. By the way names Salvage. so shall I get to the story?

Ugh my aching everything…. Wait how did I get here, OK Salvage calm down I’m just in  a random place that apparently complete untouched by the bombs. Not that that’s completely unordinary or anything. how come when the bombs fell only creepy places were left untouched.I’ll just grab my bobby pins and,Buck there gone, everything is gone. Well this is just great, finally get sent out for my first real job, and now I’m coltnapped and stuck hear with nothing to do, just sit and wait. well at least I’m alive that's a plus so I kicked back I started whistling a tune i heard on the radio.

!!""Hey! I know that tune, did you learn that from my friend Scratchy?!!

Whoa, whoa, whoa, where’s that coming from?  “hello?”

“!yes, I am here silly, who did you think ran this place, o you must be new! I’m going to throw you a party! there will be cake and ice cream! do you like ice cream? my favorite flavors are strawberry because it pink like me!”

“wait, who are you?” scratch that  “what are you  and how to you talk that fast, slow it down so I can under stand you better”

“is this better? I can’t believe I finally got a new friend to help me do some testing”

“wait I didn’t agree to any testing especially by  so psycho machine! and I’m not your friend, I already got one and shes a hooffull” I mumbled the last part.

“so wait you don’t want to be friends? what did i do wrong, I know i didn’t sing a random I would sing but the speakers are broken”

Thank Celestia

“So what I just test something for you and you will let me go? nothing life threat hing right”

“After the party of course but I don’t want you telling were this surprise is so you will have to Pinkie promise not to tell. I don’t want those meany weeny raiders finding this place”

“Wait what “pinkie promise” what the Buck is that?”

“Silly whoever you are, a pinkie promise is the utmost bond of trust two ponies can have, and if you break it you will lose their trust FFFFOOOOOORRRRREEEEVVVVVEEEERRR. Ok? When you’re ready to start just go through that door”

Just like that, the door opened, leading to a small room beyond, so I thought “what the hell it’s better than rotting in there for all eternity.”  I trotted over to the next room where on a pedestal was a strange cuff like machine clearly designed for comfortable wear. I think there called ‘pip buck’ or something? I never was talented with these arcane techno whatchamacallits. i preferred the simple machines and clock work gadgets to these magical run machines. call me old fashioned or what ever but I don't trust spells or magic in the most part. I mean arn’t they what made this place into the wasteland anyway?

“What are you waiting for, try it on!”

“Whatever you say giant omnipresent voice”  so as I lowered my leg towards the strange device, it jumped up, and snapped itself onto my wrist. Dang it, this will be hard to remove. Suddenly the world was filled with light everywhere, and  things started popping up……

//Scanning for abnormalities none found

//diagnosing health

//displaying h.p

//installing vats

//inventory sorting spell active

//map opening

// loading process100% complete

//activating function Gemini Authorization code alpha bravo delta

// Password accepted load personality folders (one found)

//Activating exe.applebloom

Whoa what the hay just happened why can’t I feel my legs….wait project files, what in a cotton picking minute are files doing in my head?

“Hello ? who are you”

Now don’t you know the sister of a minstery mare, and the head of stabletech when you see her.

Okay, now I got a heavy watch that yells at me, why in all of Equestria did this happen to me?

  “hey, Pinkie why is my pipbuck talking to me, and more importantly wheres the mute button or volume slider”

Wait pipbuck….why would I be a pipbuck unless…. No it can’t be over it can’t, quick you whoever you are what year is it?

“Wait you mean after the bombs fell ,or before? Time gets a little sketchy after the mega spells”

Oh no what happend, did the stables work, quick we have to see stable 1 NOW !

“you mean the failed one in Canterlot? yeah if you are who you say you are then by the way not your best work by a long shot ”

It Failed then you mean their dead, all my friends are dead?

“Apple bloom did project Gemini work? Are you in there please tell me we all can’t wait to remeet you come to the think tanks and we have a “glad the death wasn’t permanent” party I’ve been planning for years won’t go to waste”

“Pinkie what did I say about talking to fast?”

“fine fine fine mister grumpy pants” Pinkie obviously

Really, these prewar ponies, do they even try to make sense some times ? so I decided to try my luck , “so can I go now?”

Shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up Shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up please tell me did any of the stables work?

“Yes, if I can recall, many of them did work, and some of the best heroes in the wastes came out of them I believe”

Really? Thank Celestria, my life wasn't a total disaster. Its funny I would be normally more emotional. What gives Pinkie?

“Well silly I was gonna tell ya, well you know how you said this pre-war place was undamaged, that made have been a itsy bitsy lie, you see, the AIs are broken into several sections and I only had one, if I remember correctly some raiders broke in, and stole everything except that one, I’m still trying to get them out to here.” Pinkie said

Go figure and here i was thinking this could have been easy for a change, but no plot twist, note to self figure out how a simple salvage mission could go so wrong. wait why the hell should I help a bunch of prewar freaks when i can just head home and search there

“Wait, I believe your forgetting something why should I risk my life and limb, for a bunch of rust buckets”

Well I can see you are a reasonable stallion, yes? Well think about it, these raiders took a lot of prewar equipment, and if you help me get those files you can keep all the other non-needed stuff that we come across? Sounds like a good deal right?

“What are you a stock broker?”

“No silly she’s a dictionary.”

why won’t this crazy pony just shut up? that doesn’t even make any sense

Thanks Pink I needed that, so what do you say mr.

“Salvage, just Salvage, and seeing as that’s my only choice In the matter, I guess I’ll help you”

“Okey dokie lockiy,just head out that door and your equipment is under the cake I backed for you”

I quickly  hurried out of the room and sure enough my sack o bits was laying right there but the cake was a lie , not surprising really.So as I headed out the door the first stage of this wild adventure just beginning, I wondered what have I gotten myself into and more importantly how do i get this stupid thing off?

Salvage stats

Strength:5

Perception:8

Agility:5

Endurance:5

Intelligence:8

Charisma: 5

Luck:2

Quest perk: Robo-ghosts: you have the ghosts of some famous people in your pipbuck this unlocks a whole new set of side perks by completing the quest.

Quest perk : apple bloom v1

This perk give you a 20 % science bonus when dealing with stable tech items and for some reason you know a lot of big words. What are you a dictionary?

the random begins

So where were we? Right right right leaving the place? Ok so as I left that crazy mad house

“You mean us don’t you?”

Geeze just let me tell the story

So as we open the stable tech door from that weird place

“Thank Celestia, I never thought I be so glad to see the wasteland with it unrelenting gray skies and slight tingly feeling every time your outside for too long.”

So wait is this what its always like? You know no skies or sun or weather at all? I mean where is everything/ pony surely they did all just die; I mean you said the stables worked so why didn’t life continue like they were spose too?

“Well you see , Apple bloom is it? After people got out some stables there was always some ponies  that were better off than some other ponies so they kinda took it, then the other people took it back, then it spiraled off into a mad house of either you knew and trusted someone or you fight and kill them.  Luna forbids they actually have something you want then stuff gets personal.”

So that’s it is it no harmony or anything? So discords won has he? Is he just the king this whole time?

“o that old rock? If he was in canterlot he be dead too, they say when the missiles launched like 10% of all missiles, fired were aimed at the castle. Frankly I’m surprised the mountain still stands un-damaged”

So what no king or queen then who rules the wastes?

“Why that would be the pony with the biggest guns or most friends”

So who is the king pin?

“Right now the four top gang leaders headed out to Hoofton for some strange reason or another . that left a vacancy  in the power vacuum right now. I believe that scarlet……”

{Thud}

“What the buck take cover”

So I dived behind an outcropping of what used to be a car I think as a few more shots rang out

“dam either he is a bad shot or I’m just lucky do you what the heck is going on?”

Actually yes according to what I think those are they are appleloosa brand buffalo hunting rifles and the fact that there isn’t a 5 second gap between shots means either the firer is a unicorn or your outnumbered

Dam and here I thought she was just a useless piece of metal on my wrist

“so any ideas?”

Depends do you got any  good weapons? And can you fire them well?

“no and no, what can you get radio signal on there?”

Send or receive? I belive I should be able to hack into the stable tech receivers in the

Suddenly the shoots stopped firing and a familiar green metal apple rolled into view, I quickly dove out of the way as it blew my only sanctuary sky high. I started running to the next one as a bullet hit the side of my ear, well dam that ruined my whole day. I dive behind a rock as I heard some very interment swear rang out over the hill side as some one started circling the rock

“shut up and hook me up with 107fm”

Why?

“Friends”

{zerrrrerzz}

“hello is this thing on? Who the hell do you think you are trying to use this radio I swear when I find you I will personally beat the living

“Scarlet shut up its me”

“What Salvage is that you? What the hell are you doing out there all alone?”

I quickly ran into a metal can hoping it would hide me long enough

“ well long story short I was doing my namesake and now I’m in trouble by a very angry somepony”

“geez what I do for you would get me killed by the boss you know that? So where the hell can I pick you up?”

At the base of Canterlot Mountain on the side not by the water fall

“yeah what she said……(wait how do you know that)”

“so it looks like somepony has himself a lady friend who he is trying to impress, well your lucky I’m in the area eta 5 min tops”

“make it four”

Oy you get yer slimy ass out and die like a stallion.

“gotta run”

I started scooting my can slowly away from where I thought I heard the sound coming from.

“o lookey here somepony thinks he can get away from dear octopus megee does he, I hope you have enough for those 10 rounds I used on you or this will be quite slow”

*whispers*I gotta plan* ERROR ERROR DOES NOT COMPUTER PLEASE SHOW I DENTIFICATION OR RISK BEING TERMANATED

“dam another clanker I wish I didn’t have to trag it back to base when im done”

“*buck*”

(Insert metal gear solid ! point sound)

“my my my we got a wise guy do we I hope you got stuff for papa or this will be slow and pain full, so what da hell where you doing coming out of a mountain and what did you find down there? Oy get on with it you lope or do you think so magical bird will swoop down and save your pretty kester”

And that’s what just happen well not exactly mostly it involved me ducking as an anvil on a chain dropped down on him from my dear and might I add best friend scarlet.

“aw to bad I wasn’t able to save your little girl friend too bad it might have toughen you up a bit to have a nice mare”

“So yeah yeah yeah thanks for saving me standard routine”

“Nah this time I want half”

“HALF I’ll be stuck going out before the weeks up on half”

“your choice you know this lovely fellow is only half out shall I just leave you too?”

“Fine, by the way nice idea with the anvil, new weapon or just a phase?”

“naw boss wants to put up some defenses for the tree place he says he doesn’t want people sneaking about and wiping us out one by one”

“so can I have a ride or do I have to walk back?”

“Only if you hook me up with this creep’s guns”

“What so you can cut it closer before saving me?”

So I climbed on to my dear friend scarlet (who by the way was called that after being brought back from the brink by yours truly after a diamond dog hug, to this day I have never done a better job with duct tape) and we flew back to good old home  sweet home , the ponyville library.

Wait you guys live in twilights old home? You guys must be complete eggheads

“what the hell was that “

And as ironic as it seems I was now riding the anvil express and was given a one way trip to dirt city, ain’t life a b***h some times. As I started to get my face out of its nice Salvage shaped hole

“Salavge get your head down something out there!”

“don’t get your feathers in a bunch” as I held out my pipbuck attached hoof  “applebloom speak”

What the hay do you think I am some kinda dog or something?

Scarlet just stood there a while looking like she just saw well I don’t know what maybe I’ll ask little pip she sure to add some words to my vocabulary anyway back to the story, as I recall after that incredulous face she just made she started cranking up “wait let me get this straight you have a talking watch on you that yells and nags, man you find the weirdest stuff sometimes.

Hey I can here that

“let’s just head back to the base and call it a night”

So wait do you all sleep in the tree house or something?

“pff as if its just the place where the boss man lives he has tabs on everyone to make sure we look out for each other. I guess its kinda like a city. He also list the jobs for everyone to do. He lets us keep any extra we find but most stuff goes to him.”

“we actually live I a tree house out in what used  to be a forest or orchard I think it held up really well compared to the rest of the city”

Why what happened to the rest?

“well some of the building still have feral ghouls in them or other stuff, it seemed that everyone in ponyville hit off big. I wonder why”

Well I could have been that the 9 most important mares in equestrian at the time came from this town

“WAIT WHAT why have I been looting out in the middle of nowhere when  I should have been looking in there, quick where the first home”

Well I belive you said your boss lived there

“aww hayseeds”

“You two quit your talking come on let’s get the drop of started”

So we went to the library and sure enough Fido was sitting there looking as impatient as I seen and Ghoul look.

“Why you so late, simple run, what you got?”

“uggh I handle this”

So after much explaining a annoyed boss and losing most of what I brought in, we finally were checked out for the day thou he said I have guard duty next night. I don’t know why they think I’ll be any good at stopping raiders from hitting the town. Well it doesn’t help that were kind of a bad of raider ourselves well slightly more civilized at least me and scarlet are. I mostly clean and fix our guys stuff and they tolerate my ass hanging around.

“so where the next place we could get so good stuff ?”

If I remember correctly Pinky pie had me install a mini stable under the sugar cube corner weird request no life support all machines and security. Well that’s as far as I remember

“what do you mean aren’t you apple bloom? Shouldn’t you know all she knew and stuff”

kind of you see they were worry what would happen if a ministry mare died so they had me and scoots come up with project Gemmi basically it involved making an electronic A.I. and giving it all the memory orbs of their experiences then as time went on just add memory orbs to update the A.I. but I only have the first orb when the original apple bloom is just becoming the head of stable tech yeah you can see there a little behind.

“so what all we do is pop a memory dice in you and you get more knowledge back ? we that should be easy seeing as how everything is freaking lost scattered and gone in the waste.

“Unfortunately that’s where I come in; I guess, if it’s in the waste and my name is Salvage then I have a hell of a job to do”

So as we rounded the street to sugar cube corner we saw a sight that would make grown stallions cry, 3 ghoul filly paddling together still wearing their school bags standing just outside the corner. “arg sometimes we really have to clean this place out, so how are we gonna do this Scarlet will you just do your magic?”

“as if this is your idea I’m just here to watch beside you could use some combat practice”

“fine but I taking one of those hunting rifes” so I preceded to grab one and started sneaking around to a nearby building window hopefully to get a better view of the 3 filly. Thank god the building was abandon save for a on radio so as I aim my shot listening to the ever bearing crackle. I exhale and pull….

“hey is this thing on  (yeah) good evening children I don’t know whose out there or what’s what but it’s me Dj pon3 here to hopefully bring some life to the airways I’m here in a recently ghoul free ten pony tower hoping for people to bring songs to the air waves, I know the love and tolerance may be dead but hey if you have some tunes and are willing to share I would love to hear from you (message repeats )”

“what the hay someone got a radio station going” I look back and realize the fillies where gone, well mostly gone  the two earth bound one where running in the door to my building and the Pegasus is flying up to me.

What the hay are you waiting for fire you dam gun

O right so I exhaled and fired and watch a leg fly off in the air, dam not dead. The filly crashed into me and we went sprawling threw out the room. I quickly bucked if off me and I went flying into the ceiling not quite dead. I could hear the other two come up drawn by the sounds of the fighting I quickly grabbed my gun and a quick butt to the head and the Pegasus is down. I didn’t have a chance to realize that it was my first kill when a magically propelled rock. I quickly turned to see the earth ponies charging towards me as the unicorn chuck rocks. I tried to doge the charge and got hit with a rock nocking me back towards the window I swung my rifle like a bat batting away the remain rocks with ease, wait where was the earth pony again, ow a charging tackle against the wall reminded me quickly breaking the wall behind me. Now back to blocking rocks, here’s the windup and the charge, side step and we have an air born foal trans-Atlantic to dirt-ville. One splat later and its one on one. I reload the gun as we circle each other I aim closely and it’s dead. Wow I knew it got easier with time but this is weird.

I meet up with Scarlet outside the corner as we head inside “so where do you think this mini stable is hidden”

“Well they were hidden under ground right let’s check the basement duh”

We head down into the basement and Wow it was like a whole new place, desks everywhere, boxes filled to the brim with files, and it looked like it had a whole level to cooking. As we descended the levels looked less baking and more serious as thou the person who built this place had hidden something deep under a carefree exterior. Finally after 16 levels of stairs we reached the bottom you would think they would put elevators in these things really, right back to the story, so at the bottom the was a computer inform of a wall with a gear in it…

Silly Salvage we went over this that’s a stable door

Right right, so I head over to the computer and guess what its password protected

“do you girls know how to do this?”

“Nope this is spose to be your area”

Well in theory hacking should be to hard you just assesses the source code, head to logon screen and enter guesses and based on the response change accordingly

“im sorry what”

Ugh so see that button push it, good now hit enter, now lets see a TWENTY SEVEN LONG PASSWORD what the heck give up its to long we can’t open it

“how about the party shall last forever”

Wait how do you figure that out?

“only one that had to deal with parties”

So as I enter the password it seemed as if all hell broke loose, lights spilling out every, gears grinding door moving forward, readers wondering why this chapter so long,  sounds of the forth  wall breaking, and the haunting “forever”. As the door slid open reveling the fresh horrors within

Hey it’s kind of nice here

Wow, now that I think about it, this was the only stable I can remember that wasn’t lethal in some way

“Alright let’s split up search this think remember if you get attacked start screaming”

“Thank you captain obvious”

“Just trying to lighten the mood”

“Shut up and start search”

So I started walking down the hall when I noticed the signs the first read “cake storage” nope not interesting next said “cupcakes” still boring, “inbox (56 new messages)” well can hurt to look so I headed down that hall. At the end of the hall guess what, was a room! And in the room was a terminal failed hacking yep locked nope go figure?  So the first message was the standard welcome to your new stable stuff , and wait a ps segment. It read “dear pinks I know you are working on project Gemini so here’s the new files to be taken over truth fully I hope I won’t have to remember this but it has to hold all my life not just the happy parts p.p.s. any idea how big Sis is doing I see her less than a pig’s own backside”

So more memories are here that’s amazing I can’t wait to see what ill remember

“Are you sure she said there were bad memories there.”

Suddenly (bing) pip buck update find memories appeared

“fine”

Let’s see the most recent mail…

“Okay one from 5 min ago weird”

Check it out

“I’m going I’m going”

{static} “…hello is this on not that it even matters 200 hundred years of file recording as nopony every responses any way back to the formalities, this is the Overmare for stable 2 checking in, all stable facilities are up and operational , like they always are, and population steady at 400 ponies. Noticeable incidents are/ Velvet Remedy how many times did I say to stay out of my office now go to the party with little pip and all the other foals/ like I said no incidents, nothing new every, will report some time agin maybe never- Overmare”

Well what are you waiting for send something back

“really you thinks that’s a good idea having soft ponies like that come out in this harsh world? They would get killed you saw how I barely made it thru.”

You could at least warn them

“Whatever “

So I quickly type up a message to this mysterious Over mare -----hello miss overmare-----right not to hard just key by key one hoof at a time------this as you can guess is from the outside world, right now if you haven’t guessed the outside world is barely livable but the people out here will tear you up. Your world of love and tolerance is gone and do not try to come out , that is all----now how do I send?

Let me ok sent and changed all mail that enters her to goes to our mail box

What we have a mail box?

Do you even know how a pip buck works?

“Nope not even gonna try ok on to next room” so me and my technology driven friend headed back to the sign post area checking for something good, let me see “computer main frame” o lets go there “nope.avi” “lots and lots of guns” more Scarlet’s stuff ah here we go “custom plans” so I trodded down to pinkies private work room and man this lady had more random things that /b/ on a Sunday morning. I started looking around “personal helicopter” F***en saved, “Party cannon” might be use full “ball emergency list locations” really balls hidden everywhere? How come I didn’t find them? “zebra clock sack for stashing stuff” weird but ok, “forth wall locater” wtf  didn’t need whatever it is , “taunting author object”, please can I have it? (NO this story screwed up as it is) fine fine, and lastly wait are these?

Oh my gosh o my gosh o my gosh my memories give me give me give me

“And it looks like pinkie has one here two let’s see      Pinkamania? Weird meh we got what we came for let’s get out”

fine but you have to give me my memories back soon

“whatever let’s just meet up with Scarlet “

We found the griffon torn between carrying 60 pounds of sweets or guns, best help ever

Level up---- level 2

Note repair( 50)

Science (7)

Perk : it’s a trait but whatever , wild wasteland: be affected by the second most chaotic thing in the wasteland has taken its toll on your sanity your adventure will be permanently random-er.