Pumpkin Spiced Pandemonium
"Get up, Mac."
He grunted and rolled over.
"Get up, Mac!"
Try as she might, Dash just didn't have the strength to force him out of bed. He moaned, rubbing his bleary eyes with a hoof. "Rainbow, I don't think we need ta wake up this early—"
"Mac! We absolutely need to get up this early! Do you even know what's at stake here?"
Mac sighed as Dash fluttered around the room nervously. "I don't think they'll run out of pumpkin spice lattes before you get there."
"You don't know that! Now put on your disguise." Rainbow set a bag on the bed with a wig, mustache, and suit. She had already donned her own costume.
"Dash, Ah'm puttin' my hoof down," Mac said sternly. "I don't mind gettin' up early, and I don't mind fightin' the crowd at the harvest festival, but I ain't puttin' on this getup just to you can pretend you don't like pumpkin spice lattes!"
Rainbow stopped her pacing, staring down her coltfriend. "Mac. Everypony knows that pumpkin spiced anything changes every mares life. It's only here for three months! I won't let this be another cider season, Mac! I. Will. Have. Pumpkin spice!"
"I still don't get why we have to wear these ridiculous clothes."
"Because, I got riled up one day and while Rarity and I were arguing, I called everything she liked 'too fru fru and girly' and she asked if I thought pumpkin spiced lattes were too girly."
Mac raised a hoof. "I can guess where it went from there." Mac looked at the disguise and back at his hovering marefriend as she made the face she knew he couldn't resist. "Alright, but after this, the only time I'm wearin' a costume is for nightmare night."
Rainbow squealed as she hugged him, nuzzling into his chest. "Thanks Mac!" So with that, Mac climbed down from Rainbow's cloud house in his top hat, monocle, and large mustache. Mac walked past the barn, hoping to avoid Applejack, but having no success.
"Wow. Do I even want ta know what this is about?" she asked.
"I'd rather you didn't," he said as he kept walking, Rainbow flying along behind him dressed in something Rarity would wear.
On their walk, Mac reflected on the ridiculousness of his clothes. "Rainbow, there's a lot of stuff I'd do for you, but this is pushin' it."
Dash smiled. "Don't worry, I won't forget this." She leaned in and gave him a peck on the cheek. After a long and relatively quiet walk, they arrived at the center of town. Ponyville square had been decorated with fall colors, pumpkins, corn, and gourds of all shapes and sizes. Pumpkin pies, sweet potato pies, and all manner of fall confections wafted on the autumn breeze. Along with the one thing Rainbow wanted more than anything else.
"Pumpkin spiced lattes!" she shouted, taking off towards the booth. Mac chased after her as she slapped her bits on the counter. "Two pumpkin spiced lattes please!"
"Ahem," A pony from behind Rainbow grunted. Dash turned around to see a line stretching almost to the other end of the square.
Rainbow moaned, slumping her shoulders as she and Mac headed to the back of the line.
"I don't get it. Why do all these mares love pumpkin flavored stuff so much? It's not even that good."
The entire line turned around and glared at Macintosh. The stares of one hundred angry mares and a few stallions bored directly into his soul. "Mac, have you lost your mind?" Rainbow whispered urgently.
"Did he just say PSL''s aren't that good?" a teenage pony with a valley girl accent asked, venom dripping from her words like so much foamed creamer into a latte.
"No! Of course not! He loves PSLs!" Dash elbowed him. "Right?"
Mac's stubbornness picked the wrong time to show itself. "Eynope. Ah don't see what's so great about them."
Rainbow put a hoof on her forehead. "Damnit, Mac."
The line instantly revolted and began chasing them in a flurry of scarves, ugg boots and kashmir sweaters. The mob had chased them out of the square and into the forest outside of town. It took a bit of maneuvering, but they managed to lose them. They ended up splitting up, so Mac found himself panting in a forest clearing, his mustache askew and his monocle and top hat now just a distant memory.
"Rainbow?" he shouted.
"Mac?" he heard a shout in reply, but couldn't tell where it came from. "I'm over here!"
He wandered through the trees before he saw a few blue feathers near a tree. Rainbow seemed just as disheveled as Mac as she waited, sitting with her back against a tree. "You shouldn't have talked bad about PSL's, Mac," she panted.
"Why does everyone think those things are so great?"
"Because they are, Mac!"
Mac rolled his eyes. "Alright, fine, they're the greatest thing since toilets, now can we just get rid of these stupid costumes and get your darn latte already?"
"That's my stallion!" Rainbow smiled, leaning against the tree. Just as she was about to get up, a grey birds nest with two eggs fell out of the branches and into her lap. "Huh, this looks like a birds nest."
"Uhm, Dashie?" Mac said, looking up at the sky. "It ain't just any bird."
"What kind of—" A screech pierced the fall air as a red-tailed hawk came diving out of the sky, talons ready to defend it's eggs. "Ahh!" Rainbow fought with the creature, hauling tail out of the woods with Mac sprinting behind her. The angry bird of prey scratched her multiple times while she tried to cover her head.
Once they made it back into town, the hawk had given up. After they took off their costumes, they headed back to the town square, the line now considerably shorter. In fact, there was only one pony in line! Dash raced towards the booth just in time to see the proprietor put the 'out of pumpkin spice lattes' sign.
Dash was crushed. She sulked against the booth, tears threatening to spill from her eyes. "It's not fair! We got up early! I lost sleep for this!" she anguished, pounding a hoof into the ground. She let out the most defeated sigh Mac had ever heard. "I'm gonna go to the medical tent and get these cuts looked at..." Mac couldn't stand to see her like this. After all, it wasn't just her that got up at the crack of dawn. He was determined to rectify this situation. At a nearby booth, he spotted Rarity selling her latest line of fall fashions, and on top of her counter, were four untouched PSLs.
"Macintosh! What a pleasant surprise! What can I do for you?" Rarity said, her little sister behind her tending to the forms displaying her clothes.
"Well, I'm actually lookin' to buy one of them lattes there."
"Oh, well, why not just get one from the *Starbucks (*it works as a horse pun already!) stand?"
"They're sold out."
Rarity looked him up and down. "Macintosh, you don't really strike me as the... pumpkin spice latte type."
Mac sighed. "It ain't for me, it's for Rainbow Dash. I personally don' think they're—"
Rarity quickly put a hoof over his mouth and looked at him desperately. "Never, speak ill of the PSLs," she whispered. She removed her hoof and rested her forelegs on the counter. "Besides, I thought Rainbow thought they were too 'girly' or some such."
"You know how she can get when she gets riled up. She shot her mouth off to ya and is too proud to admit she was wrong."
Rarity nodded knowingly. "I do, darling, unfortunately I couldn't dare sell these, as one is for Sweetie Belle, one for Twilight, Pinkie, and one for myself, of course." Mac sighed, his shoulders slumping and his ears pinning back in defeat. Rarity hated seeing such a handsome pony so down. "But, I suppose I could trade you mine."
"Trade?" Mac replied. "What for?"
Rarity smiled. "Well, I have this simply fabulous fall ensemble for stallions, but I've run out of forms to display it on." Mac knew where this was going. "So I need you to be my... living display, as it were."
Mac looked at the clothes. Nothing seemed too outrageous, but it simply reeked of hipster. Tight pants, an ironic sweater and bow tie. "Okay, I'll do it."
Rarity smiled. "Also, it comes with a few... other items."
Mac raised an eyebrow. "Other items?"
Thanks to a spell, Mac now had a hipster beard to go with his hipster clothes, and to top it all off, glasses without lenses in them. For Rainbow he thought as Rarity put the finishing touches on his outfit.
"There, darling you look simply marvelous! Now go strut your stuff around town!"
"Ahem." Mac pointed to the lattes on the counter.
"Ah, I suppose you've earned it."
Mac whinnied happily, taking the latte and heading towards the medical tent. Dash sat beneath it, bandages on her forelegs and the most dejected look on her face. "S'cuse me, miss," Mac said, his shadow stretching over her.
"Beat it, jerk I'm not in the mood to get hit on," she said, not looking up.
"Well, I guess I'll have to take this hot, pumpkin spice latte and give it to somepony else."
Her head shot up. Dash took in her coltfriend and his getup, and immediately burst out laughing.
"How... why? Why are you dressed like that?"
Mac smiled. "To get you the last one of these in the whole darn town." He gave her the drink. Her eyes were the size of saucers as she held it in her hooves.
"Omigosh, omigosh, omigosh! How did you get one of these? They were sold out!" Dash exclaimed, hovering in front of him.
"Well, these fine clothes of mine may have had somethin' ta do with it." Mac smiled.
"You mean, you put on one of Rarity's ridiculous outfits just to get me this?" Dash asked, blushing.
"That's about the size of it," he said.
"C'mere you big goof!" Rainbow set the latte on the table next to her and hugged Mac, their noses nuzzling against each other. She pulled back and kissed him on the lips. "You sure do know how to make a lame day better."
As she was distracted with Macintosh, the screech of a hawk cut through the tent like a knife through room temperature margarine. The bird dove straight into the tent, but instead of going for Rainbow, it picked up her latte and dropped it directly into the trash.
"NO!" Rainbow wailed. "I didn't even get to taste it!"
Mac groaned. When it came to beverages, if it weren't for back luck, Dash would have no luck at all.
"I swear I'll pluck every falcon within ten miles!" Rainbow cried to the heavens.
"That won't be necessary."
They turned to see Rarity, holding a single latte in her magic. "Sweetie Belle traded her latte for leaving my stall early to play with her friends. I figured something would happen to the one I gave you, so I decided to hang on to one just in case. I'd be happy to give it to you," Rarity said as Rainbow reached for it, only to have Rarity pull it away. "On two conditions. One, you admit that PSLs aren't 'girly'."
Dash moaned. "Okay, okay, they aren't girly." Rainbow stood up. "What's the other condition?"
Rarity smiled.
Mac and Rainbow stood outside Rarity's booth, now both living mannequins, displaying her latest fall styles. Mac didn't seem to mind, but Rainbow wasn't exactly thrilled with her sweater/infinity scarf combo with matching boots. But, her one consolation was her latte, which she finally sipped.
"Ah... That was so worth it," Rainbow said, turning to Mac. "Hey, Mac, thanks for getting me the latte the first time."
He turned to her and nuzzled. "You know I can't stand ta see ya go without, darlin'."
"I love you, ya big lug."
"Ah love you too, Dashie."
Rainbow pulled away, taking another sip of her latte. "So, do you want to try a sip?" she asked.
Mac grinned. He supposed there was nothin' wrong with seeing what this seasons' fuss was about. He wasn't really taken by last years pumpkin spice lattes.
He took a long sip, and gave it back to his marefriend.
"Well, what do ya think?" she asked.
"Eh, it ain't that great."
The entire town square ground to a halt. Every mare's eye was glaring toward them.
"What did he just say?"
Dash slapped a hoof to her forehead. "Damnit, Mac!"
