Family Matters

by Aragon

Rating: everyone
Tags: Slice of Life, Applejack, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Rarity, Twilight Sparkle
Length: 3348

Siblings are weird. Twilight, Applejack and Rarity talk about how weird theirs are.

Siblings are weird.

Twilight, Applejack and Rarity talk about how weird theirs are.

Proofread by Pearple Prose.

Published 2014-05-18 22:00:04 UTC
Last updated 2014-05-18 22:00:04 UTC

Trees

Some ponies love children, some ponies hate them, and it's almost impossible to convince somepony who already knows how they feel about foals to change their mind. Or so one would think, because that very morning, Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle had managed to single-handely convince fifteen different Ponyville citizens to change sides.

After all, when you’re trying to enjoy your meal at Sugarcube Corner, the last thing you want is a foal screaming at the top of her lungs and running in circles for no reason whatsoever right next to you.

“They’re so full of energy today, aren’t they?” Twilight said, smiling at the sight of Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom playing together under the summer sun. Then she took a better look and frowned. “Uh. Girls?”

“Hmm?” Rarity didn’t bother opening her eyes, apparently too busy tasting her purple-ish tea to bother. “What is it, dear?”

“I think you should go and stop Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom,” Twilight replied. “I mean, I’m not really sure if they’re hugging or wrestling, but at this rate they’re gonna hurt each other.”

“Nah, let’em be,” Applejack said, eyeing the two foals and then taking a sip of her cider. “They’re just excited like a cat surrounded by sleepin’ birds. It’ll be good for them to burn off some energy.”

“...Are you sure?”

“Twilight, you don’t have a little sister.” Rarity smiled at her. “Believe us: little foals are like daisies. The more sun there is, the more energy they have.”

“Who can blame’em for being excited, though?” Applejack chuckled. “Going to the clouds for the first time, for a whole weekend? Ah’ll be damned, Ah would’ve been more excited than a male goat on Milkin’ Week, if you get what Ah mean.”

Twilight arched an eyebrow. “I actually don’t get it.”

“Believe me, dear.” Rarity took another sip of tea. “You don’t want to.”

“Although I don’t know if you would have been more excited than them, Applejack.” Twilight looked at the two foals again. “What are they even doing now?”

“Aside from screaming, I believe they’re trying to dance,” Rarity said. “Sweetie Belle is whirling around quite a lot. She’ll do the Sweetie Shuffle any moment now, I’m sure.”

“The Sweetie Shuffle? What is that?”

“You’ll recognize it when you see it, dear.”

“Hmm. They’re lost without Scootaloo, aren’t they?” Applejack turned to her two friends. “Rainbow Dash sure is runnin’ late. She should’ve been here twenty minutes ago!”

“Oh, dear, you know how Dash is. She’ll probably be sleeping on a cloud.” Rarity raised an eyebrow. “In all honesty, I’m still a little baffled at the fact that she offered her services as a foalsitter.”

“Oh, that would be me.” Applejack winked at her friend. “Ah just happened to mention how difficult it was to take care of Apple Bloom, y’see. She immediately offered to take care of’er and the rest of them Cutie Mark Crusaders for a whole week, just to prove she’s better than me.”

“You tricked her?” Twilight frowned. “May I ask why?”

“Because with Big Mac and Granny Smith goin’ to Appleloosa and Apple Buck Season over, Ah get two days entirely to myself if Ah can get rid of Apple Bloom.” Applejack took another sip of her cider. “Ah love my family more than anythin’, but Ah never get time to myself without Equestria bein’ endangered by seven dragons or somethin’ like that.”

“Oh. Yes, I guess you might be right there,” Twilight said, nodding. “Everypony needs some alone time.”

“A shame Scootaloo couldn’t go,” Rarity said. “The poor filly must be heartbroken.”

“She’s spent more weekends at Dash’s than the rest of us put together, Rares.” Applejack snortled. “She’ll survive.”

“It’s better for her to rest, Rarity. Colds can be really nasty,” Twilight said. “Anyway, Big Mac and Granny Smith are gone for two weeks, aren’t they?” Twilight remembered that she had also ordered a drink and took a sip of her coffee, only to find it cold. “Yuck,” she said, wrinkling her muzzle at the thing before lighting up her horn and sending a little spark of magic to the cup. A faint trace of steam rose from the coffee.

“Sure they are,” AJ said. “Braeburn wanted to see’em.”

“But then why did you ask Dash to take care of your sister just for two days?” Twilight asked. She took another sip of her drink and smiled. “Ooh, that’s better. Anyway, why just the weekend?”

“Because, and I believe Applejack thinks the same as me here,” Rarity said, “we love our privacy, but setting Dash’s house on fire for the sake of it seems a little bit extreme.”

Twilight blinked. “Wow. That was just mean, Rarity.”

“I wouldn’t say it was ‘mean’. I prefer the term ‘realistic’, thank you very much.” Rarity rolled her eyes. “I mean, no offense, Twilight, dear, but… How much does Twilight Time last, again? One hour?”

“...An hour and a half.”

“Exactly. Once you get past the three hour mark, those two get wild. A pack of wolves would be easier to control.” Rarity chuckled. “And just so you know, that last bit is as true as it can be. I’m paraphrasing Fluttershy.”

“Fluttershy…?” Twilight took another sip. “I thought she was able to control them?”

“Yes. Because they saw the Stare, although she didn’t use it on them,” Rarity said. “You might remember that ability as the one we threatened Discord with when we reformed him.”

“Oh.” Twilight licked her lips. “Yeah, I can see your point, I guess.”

Smack!

Silence.

Applejack looked at the two foals again. “Huh. Seems like Sweetie Belle just kicked Apple Bloom in the mouth, Rares.”

“Yeah, that’s the Sweetie Shuffle for you. Is Apple Bloom fine?”

“It seems so,” AJ answered. “Now she’s trying to show your sister how to properly do a shuffle.”

“Oh?” Rarity turned around too. “Is she?”

Smack!

“Yep, she was.”

“...Shouldn’t you be a little more concerned about your sisters’ safety?” Twilight asked. “I mean, they are hurting themselves!”

“They’re used to such a thing.” Rarity shrugged. “We can’t protect them from everything, Twilight. They need to learn how life is.”

“Yes, well, that sounds pretty good when you talk about more general things, like dealing with some kids their age,” Twilight said, “but they’re literally kicking each other in the mouth.” She arched an eyebrow. “Which life lesson are they going to learn through that?”

“Hmm. Good question.” Rarity tapped her chin. “I’m guessing something among the lines of ‘don’t kick each other in the face’.”

Smack!

“A lesson that apparently they’ve not learned yet,” Rarity added. “Applejack?”

“Hm.” The farmer was still facing Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle. “Sweetie Belle tried the Sweetie Shuffle again.”

Smack!

“And there goes Apple Bloom’s turn.” Applejack sighed and turned around to face the table. “At least they’re having fun. And where the heck is Rainbow Dash?”

“Napping on a cloud.” Rarity took a sip of her tea. “But seeing how she’s offering some free foalsitting for the whole weekend, I’m not complaining. Plus, it’s not like Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle seem to mind the wait, do they?”

“Nah. Too busy kickin’ each other.”

“Charming.”

“You know, you can ask me to foalsit them any time you want,” Twilight said after taking another sip of her coffee. “I mean, if you want some alone time so desperately…”

“Oh, Twilight, you’re such a dear.” Rarity shot a smile at her friend. “However, I wouldn’t dare. You’re a princess now, and…” She coughed. “Well, I don’t think it would be really, um. How to say it?” She licked her lips. “I think ‘safe’ is the best way to put it.”

“What?!” Twilight frowned. “Rarity, are you kidding? You’re worried about your sister’s safety when she’s with me? And you allow her to go near Rainbow Dash?! Hah!” She crossed her legs. “I’d be surprised if they don’t fall from her house at least twice while she’s foalsitting them!”

“Probably, but Dash will catch them before they hit the ground. We already took care of that.” Applejack chuckled. “Don’t take it as a personal thing, Twi. Ah’m sure Rares wasn’t talkin’ about you, but about yer house.”

Rarity nodded. “You have a lot of books, and some of them might be dangerous.” She smirked. “You know, black magic?”

“Oh.” Twilight un-crossed her legs. “...Yeah, I see your point.”

“And call me picky, but a house made out of crystal just feels wrong, Twi. Especially with those two near it.”

Plaf!

This time, it was Rarity’s turn to look at the two foals playing. “No kick this time,” she informed. “Sweetie Belle just ran face-first onto the only tree for miles.”

Plaf!

“And Apple Bloom followed.”

Twilight blinked. “...Why would she do that?”

“A mystery for the ages,” Rarity replied, still looking at her sister. “Now they’re yelling at the tree. And now it seems like they’re going to—”

“Dumb tree!” came the voice of Sweetie Belle. And then...

Planck!

“Yep. My sister punched the tree,” Rarity said.

“Ah bet Apple Bloom will try to buck it,” AJ said, smirking.

Thump!

“And just like that, you won your bet,” Rarity said, facing Twilight and Applejack again. “Apple Bloom is more experienced about trees, I guess.”

“Eeyup. Family tradition and all that,” Applejack said. “Apple Bloom is learning how to properly buck pretty fast, actually.” She took a huge mouthful of cider and swallowed it in one gulp. “In no time, she’ll be able to work on the fields like me and Big Mac.”

“They grow up so fast…” Rarity sighed and rested her head on her hooves. “It feels like it was only yesterday when Sweetie Belle still didn’t know how to talk.”

“Tell me ‘bout it. Did I tell you about that freakout Ah went through?” Applejack shook her head. “Ah got all scared ‘bout my baby sis turnin’ into an adult all of a sudden. Like, it went so fast! She was just a lil’ child and then…”

“Aaw.” Twilight smiled and tapped one of Applejack’s hooves. “You got all melancholic about that? How tender.”

“Yeah, Ah guess Ah got the blues,” AJ said.

“And I believe you reacted like a rational adult?” Rarity asked.

“Ah bubble-wrapped the house and then kicked a chimera’s butt.”

Silence.

“Well, I guess it’s as mature as you can get.”

“No, but really,” Applejack said, “They grow up so fast! Apple Bloom is gonna be the smartest pony in town, let me tell ya. That girl has more brains than all of us together.” A pause. “Well, ‘cept for Twi.”

Twilight chuckled. “You know, my brother used to say the same.” She put her hoof against her chest and talked in a deeper tone than usual. “‘You’re gonna be the smartest pony in the kingdom!’”

“And he was right!”

“Aw, shucks. You’re making me blush.” Twilight waved a hoof. “That’s not what I wanted to say, though.”

Plaf!

“There goes the tree again,” Rarity said. “Anyway, Twilight, I understand what you meant. Everypony thinks the best of their younger siblings.”

“Huh.” Applejack frowned. “Well, Big Mac used to tell me Ah was smarter than him, too, now that Ah think about it.”

“See?” Twilight smiled. “Of course Apple Bloom is smart, but it’s cute to see you get so affectionate with her.”

“And what about you, Rares?” Applejack eyed Rarity. “You think Sweetie Belle is the smartest in the family?”

“Hm? What?” Rarity raised her eyes from her cup of tea. “Sweetie Belle?”

“Yeah.”

“Goodness, no. I’m the smartest one.” She took a sip of tea. “By far.”

Silence.

Rarity blinked. “What? Why are you looking at me like that?”

“Rares.” Applejack frowned. “That wasn’t very kind of you.”

“What? Oh, no! I mean, don’t get me wrong, I’m not calling my sister dumb.” Rarity shook her head. “Far from it! It’s just that, well…” She cleared her throat with a cough and turned around to face the two foals. “Sweetie Belle!” she yelled, “come here for a second!”

“Yes!” Less than two seconds later, a gleaming Sweetie Belle was standing next to the table. “What’s the matter, Rarity?”

“Oh, it’s nothing important, dear,” Rarity said, patting her sister’s head. “It’s just a little doubt… How many times have you hit your face against a wall today?” A pause. “Or against a tree?”

“Only eight!”

“Wow, only eight times?” Rarity nodded. “Impressive.”

“I know!”

“Hmm. Anyway, that was all, Sweetie Belle. You can go play with Apple Bloom again.” She smiled. “I see a particularly muddy puddle in there.”

“Hey, you’re right! Apple Bloom! Look at that!”

Rarity took another sip of tea as Sweetie Belle ran away. “See?” she said. “I’m not saying she’s dumb. I’m just saying that she hits her face against walls eight times a day and loves playing in the mud. I love her with all my heart, don’t get me wrong, but thank Celestia she’s pretty.”

Silence.

“Cutest foal in town, though,” Rarity added. “I can’t deny that.”

“You know,” Twilight said, looking at Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle, “I would try to tell you how smart your sister can be now and then, but right now she’s desperately fighting against the mud puddle and losing. Like, really losing against it. We’re talking crushing defeat here.”

“Wonderful.”

Applejack took another mouthful of cider. “But at least Sweetie Belle knows how to behave, right?”

“Oh, yes. She’s an amazing sister,” Rarity agreed. “A little temperamental now and then, but I wouldn’t change her for anything. And she can be very helpful, when she’s not destroying absolutely everything I love or hold dear.”

“Yeah, sisters do that sometimes.”

“Shining Armor never did any of that,” Twilight said. “He would always be helpful.”

“Well, yes, but he’s older than you, isn’t he?” Applejack shook her hoof. “The younger siblings are the ones who cause trouble, not the older ones. Big Mac was always the responsible one at my house.”

“Hmm.” Twilight squinted. “Maybe. But I’m sure that Shining Armor would be amazing even as a younger brother.”

“Big Mac would be more or less the same, Ah reckon,” Applejack said. “Still, Ah wouldn’t change it for nothin’.”

“Same with me and Shining Armor.”

“Pfft. That’s a younger sister for you.” Rarity rolled her eyes. “I would change Big Mac for Shining Armor any time.”

“What?!”

Twilight snickered.

“You take that back, Rares!”

“Oh, come on. Don’t be a child, Applejack.” Rarity waved her hoof. “I won’t deny Big Mac honors his name pretty well, but I particularly find Shining Armor more handsome.”

Twilight’s snicker died immediately.

“Well, my brother is handsome too!”

“Why, yes. Good luck finding a mare that doesn’t agree with you,” Rarity said. “But it’s all about tastes, isn’t it?”

“Uh. Rarity,” Twilight said, frowning, “he’s married.”

“So? I can look at the menu, I just can’t order.” Rarity smirked. “I don’t mean to make you feel uncomfortable, dear, but Shining Armor has this feminine touch that really adds a lot to his charm.”

Applejack chewed her lip. “Hmm. Ah guess you do have a point in there.”

“Wait, what?” Twilight put her hooves on the table. “My brother is not feminine!”

“Well, he’s not completely feminine, I give you that,” Rarity said.

“Yeah, he’s just…” Applejack tapped her chin. “Y’know, a little fairy-like, if you get what Ah mean.”

“A little like a f—Shining Armor is very masculine!”

“Heh.” Rarity looked to the side. “...For a Royal Guard, he might be.”

“Are you saying the Royal Guards are feminine?!”

“Of course not!” Rarity said.

“...Well, they’re a little too graceful sometimes,” Applejack said, playing with her glass of cider.

“And that golden armor is certainly fabulous,” Rarity added.

Twilight arched an eyebrow. “Girls.”

“Not to mention how they sway their hips while walkin’.”

Rarity nodded. “And they always have a perfect hooficure.”

“And they actually dye their coats…”

“Girls,” Twilight repeated. “No.”

“No what, dear?”

“The Royal Guard is not like that!” She blinked. “I mean, nothing wrong with being feminine, I guess. It’s just that—”

“Twi,” Applejack interrupted, “the Royal Guard has better eyelashes than Rarity here. And no offense, but your brother was their captain.”

“Shining Armor has no eyelashes!”

“He does.”

“He totally does.”

Silence.

“He has manly eyelashes!”

“Why are we even arguing about this?” Rarity rolled her eyes. “Twilight, dear, calm down. We didn’t mean any harm. It’s just an observation.”

“Yeah. Your brother is still a hunk.”

“AJ!”

“What?” The farmpony shrugged. “Ah have eyes. You think Cadance is with him for his brains?”

Twilight’s frown didn’t disappear. “He’s not that dumb.”

“Of course he’s not, dear,” Rarity said. “He just forgot to invite his only sister to his wedding.”

Silence.

“Okay, he might be a little slow.”

“He’s the masculine equivalent of Sweetie Belle,” Rarity said. “Wonderful pony, but he won’t be able to solve a puzzle without setting it on fire somehow.”

“Ah bet he’ll throw his wife through the window,” Applejack added with a smirk. “Though it worked the last time, so what do Ah know?”

Twilight shook her head. “I still love my brother.”

“Don’t we all?” Rarity raised her cup of tea. “But where’s the fun in having a family if you can’t be familiar with them?”

Applejack nodded and lifted her glass of cider too. “Never heard truer words outta that mouth o’ yours, Rares!”

They both looked at Twilight, who eventually sighed and used her magic to levitate her coffee. “I guess you’re right.”

And, with a clink, they made a toast.

“Oh, look who’s there!” Applejack said, getting up from the table. “Hey, Dash!” she yelled to the sky. “Down here, you lazy mule! We said we’d meet an hour ago!”

Rainbow Dash landed right next to Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle, who started jumping around her like two bunnies with a huge caffeine overdose. Applejack walked towards her, still yelling something about punctuality.

“You’re sure your spell can last for more than forty-eight hours, right?” Rarity asked after finishing her tea. “I mean—”

“Don’t worry,” Twilight interrupted. “Sweetie Belle will be able to walk on clouds for a whole week once I’m done with it. I was planning to manually uncast it on Monday, in fact.”

Rarity smiled. “Thanks, Twilight.”

Twilight finished her coffee too in two big gulps. “It’s a very easy spell, you know? You could have cast it yourself.”

“I wouldn’t dare to. Unless it’s about rocks, my magic is not that great.” Rarity shook her head. “And I know Sweetie Belle is meticulously testing the resilience of her skull every day, but I’m sure we wouldn’t like her falling from such a high height.”

“Sure.”

“Say, do you want to come with us to Fluttershy’s once Dash has taken the girls?”

Twilight arched an eyebrow. “To Fluttershy’s?”

“Of course. As Applejack said, we’re pretty sure Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom will fall down that cloud mansion at least once.” Rarity rolled her eyes. “And I know Dash is a fast flier, but I would like somepony who’s actually responsible to be up there too.”

“Makes sense,” Twilight said. They both walked towards Dash and Applejack. “Does Rainbow know about that?”

“Applejack and I have chosen to hide our backup plan from her,” Rarity said. “Fluttershy will just go there and act as if she didn’t know Dash was foalsitting. By the time she arrives, we’re sure Dash will be desperate for help.”

Twilight smirked. “You really know your sister, huh?”

“Foals are like a hurricane,” Rarity said.

“Full of energy?”

“Extremely unpleasant when they catch you unprepared.”

Silence.

“My brother is very manly, though.”

“Darling, his legs are curvier than mine.”

Twilight opened her mouth to reply, but was interrupted by a familiar sound.

Plaf! “Ow!”

Rarity sighed. “For goodness’ sake, Sweetie Belle, get away from that tree.”

Author's Note

The picture of a sassy Rarity drinking tea seems amazing to me, and I have no idea why.

Really, that's the only reason why I wrote this. Sassy Raritea.