Pepper Jack

by Kuroy

Rating: everyone
Tags: Other, Romance, Princess Luna, Original Character, Cheese Sandwich, Comedy, Applejack, Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 6868

Pepper jack is a traveling spice merchant who travels Equestria and here are some of his adventures.

Winter wrap up has just finished up and its time for Pepper Jack to start his route through Equestria to trade. What adventures await? Will he make new friends? Meet old friends?Find new trade opportunities? Find out ^w^

Published 2014-09-06 23:00:04 UTC
Last updated 2015-01-08 01:41:44 UTC

White Tail Woods

Whitetail Woods

The soft rays of the sun shone through the canopy of the forest. The air was filled with the sounds of buzzing insects a rustling leaves. Apart from the sounds of nature the soft creak of wood could be heard by the lone unicorn pulling his cart. The feel of soft dirt on his hooves and the smell of spring in the air called Pepperjack’s nerves.

The blissful sounds of Whitetail woods always filled him with a sense of euphoria. It was almost like he wasn’t pulling a heavy cart filled with precious spices. Spices his family had spent the last year growing and drying, grinding and mixing, and preparing for the coming year. It was almost like he wasn’t pulling a cart with his family’s livelihood.

Except he was, and it WAS heavy.

Some unicorns would have you believe that pulling a cart is work only suited to earth ponies and pegasi. Such unicorns could be found in Canterlot living a life of finery and opulence. Canterlot unicorns like to spend their days talking down to other ponies and claiming useless titles and whatnot, or that is what Pepperjack was taught.

Things like that didn’t concern him though. Pepperjack was not a Canterlot noble, he had never met a unicorn outside of his own family, and if he could help it he would try to avoid them.

Though snobbery aside they were rich and well appreciative of exotic spices to change up their high society diets. “Give a stallion good spices and crackers and he can eat happy the rest of his life, Give the same to a noble and they will be bored in no time.” A famous quote from great uncle Bleu.

The cart bumped a rock knocking Pepperjack from his pleasant daydreams.

This was his first circuit out into the world and while he was eager to see the rest of Equestria he was hesitant to say the least. His father Red Pepper told him stories of the outside world as a foal and brought books back for the family. Knowledge was a power that he greatly respected and he would let none of his foals become ignorant shut-ins like some of the other families in Whitetail woods.

The stories floated into his mind as he walked ever onwards. Stories of the Lunar Pegasi, changelings, griffons, dragons, and the celestial beasts that roamed the Everfree Forest.

His destination was Ponyville and it lay to the west of Whitetail woods. It was the closest village for most of the Wood’s residents and so was also a very important stop for our wayward unicorn. He had never been there before but his father often spoke of wonders that could be seen in the small town. It was the residence of Princess Twilight Sparkle who recently saved Equestria from a demon and was rewarded with her own crystal castle.

Her own castle, the thought itself just rattled his brain. He had heard of a few of her and her friends grand adventures and now he was heading to Ponyville. He was nervicited (nervous-excited) beyond belief and he wanted to see the famous Golden Oaks library.

He always imagined it to be huge. A library inside a tree the thought alone made him excited. Pepperjack loved trees and he loved reading and he was hungry for knowledge. Especially on since his father did not bring back any books from his travels, which struck Pepperjack as odd.

He had asked his father about it, but was met with a grim face and silence. It was an unusual reaction to say the least.

A strong breeze blew through the branches filling the air pollen and the smell of the earthy forest floor. There was no other smell like it and Pepperjack knew he would miss it on his journey.

The weary unicorn stopped at the edge of a meadow. He had been walking for a day and a half now and he needed a short lunch break. Using his magic to take off the heavy sweat laden harness and brought out his picnic blanket and a couple of apples.

After carefully laying out his red and white plaid blanket and setting his grey Stetson down beside his little trio of lunch apples. Pepperjack did what any sensible unicorn stallion of his stature would do.

He flopped down on the blanket and rolled onto his back flailing his legs in the air and laughing. “HA eat that cart. I can go whenever I want to and you’re just stuck there.”

Carefree as ever, and a LOT of apples short of a full bushel, Pepperjack indulged in a little lunch adding spiced bread and peach jam to his little trio of apples. He was very contented as he munched, back legs tucked beneath him and front legs folded out in front of him. The cool breeze drying up the sweat that had gathered in his grey coat where the harness had been.

The apples and peach jam were sweet and Pepperjack being the most graceful of eaters got a good amount of jam on his lips. He wiped his mouth with a white fetlock. He liked his fetlocks where his legs met with his hooves. They were white and liked to grow a little over his black hooves. His napkins he called them and they were one of his favorite features.

Which some ponies had one colored coat and a two tone mane Pepperjack was a pony true to name. He had a large white spot that covered most of his flank and speckled out across his mostly grey coat. His mane was cut short around his head and had a streak of dark red in it.

His cutie mark was a salt and pepper shaker, but instead of black pepper the said shaker held a reddish spice that matched up with the streak in his mane. It told him that like the rest of the family he was a pony who was destined for spicy greatness.
Pepperjack awoke some hours later cursing himself. He had decided to take a nap that had progressed a little farther. It was night now and he could see Luna’s night sky from the meadow he was in.

The sky was beautiful. Stars and constellations captured his gaze. He had always like the night sky.

Snapping back to reality the grey unicorn was again reminded that he could not travel at night and had wasted a half day’s travel napping. He set about gathering some wood from around the tree line for a campfire. The nights in the woods where often cold and moist and he did not want to catch a cold so early in his journey. After gathering his tender he focused his magic and summoned a flame to start his campfire.

As soon as it grew the starlight that lit the night faded from his vision as the firelight grew brighter. It was always disconcerting to him how the night seemed more dark and dangerous under the flickering shadows of firelight.

Shadows crept in the tall grasses and leapt in the trees and something in the night air felt wrong and dangerous. It was times like these that made Pepperjack wish he had brought a tent.

Clever ideas sprung to mind. Pepperjack gathered some stones and put them around the fire. He grabbed the largest of the stones and drew a rune on its surface. His father had shown him this simple enchantment. As long as the stones circled the fire it would not spread to anything else not touching the physical mass of the fire.

It was a good safety device and a good trick too, because when you put your hooves into the fire the protection magic would activate and you wouldn't get burned.

Having enchanted his fire he pulled his cart closer to the fire. He lifted the tarp and stared moving around his various tools and wares making himself a nice space to snuggle into. He folded his blanket to make a nice cushion to lay on and pulled the tarp over himself and the cart.

And thus the great tarp-cart-fort of Whitetail woods was made.

Pepperjack smiled with foalish glee at his cunning ingenuity. The warmth of the cart and the sounds of the night making a sonorous lullaby making the grey unicorn feel sleepy again.
Slowly he slipped into the dreamworld that only a beautiful night and a warm fire could provide.

Hooves pounding furiously into the dirt as he ran. Red cape billowing in the wind. Sweat sticking on the inside of his…luchadore mask? The masked unicorn skidded to a stop as he realized he was wearing a ridiculous mask. “Why am I wearing a mask and why am I running?” He puzzled aloud.

A cackling maniacal laugher filled the air and echoed on the cave walls.

“Fool, have you finally decided to face me?”

Concerned, but ready to play the part of hero, Los Jalapeño answered his sworn enemy.

“Show yourself count!! So that I may teach you a spicy lesson.”

Standing tall Los Jalapeño braced himself for his hated enemies entrance. Though unnoticed in the background a blue alicorn sat eating popcorn and occasionally drinking soda.

The sound of thunder filled the air as smoke rose from a rocky ledges taking the form of a pony. As the smoke cleared the menacing form of Vlad Peckish also know as Count Snackula.

“Why have you lured me here Peckish? Was your defeat at the Á La Modé not evidence of your weak hunger?”
Swiftly grabbing his black and red lined cape Vlad drew it up to hiding his body with exception to his fierce red eyes. He his in distain at Los Jalapeño.

“It was a dirty trick to serve me vanilla and habanero ice cream, but soon I shall claim the delicious lifeblood of your sweet SALSA!!!”

There was silence…

Awkward silence.

Jalapeño finally broke the dreaded awkwardness.

“I'm not into Stallions.” He declared blankly.

“RRRaagh, NO.” The Count bellowed in frustration.

“SALSA!!!”

An explosion of pyrotechnics and a cloud of smoke rose from another ledge near the count revealing…

Nothing…

The Count screamed in rage and fished a remote from his pocket with a big red button. He pressed the button furiously.

Finally with a crackling rumble a figure tied to a post rose up from a trap door.She wore a red and yellow luchadore mask with a matching cape. A gasp rang out from an unknown audience followed by a intense look from a certain alicorn who swallowed her popcorn loudly.

“La Salsa!! You monster unhand her.”

The cackling villain just leered at Los Jalapeño with his slitted red eyes and spoke his dreaded monologue.

“You fool did you not think I would discover your dreaded weakness. Your love for this girl and…Your fear of FANGS!!”

The Count bared his fangs the sight of which cause Los Jalapeño to fall to the ground in fear.

“NOOOOOOO, they are so unnatural, they are not meant for eating only for causing nightmares and wet beds….not that I would know. Curse you bat pony!!”

The resulting spit take from an alicorn caught enough distance to catch Los Jalapeño on the back of his head. Suddenly all eyes where on Luna followed by questioning glances and exclamations.

“A henchmare come now Count now your paying for company.”

“Don’t play dumb with me hero she is obviously with you. Just look at the cheese on her flank she is obviously one of your allies.”

“I didn't know being a creature of the night made you blind and dumb Vlad that is obviously the moon.”

“ENOUGH.” The royal canter lot voice shook the cave with enough force to loosen a few stalactites that crumbed on impact with the ground.

“Pepperjack Saltbane Spice, I will not have thine slander upon my ponies of the night. Yes thou may make a villain from one, but do not mistake one for all. I think I have the perfect fix for your ignorance.”

The world warmed and turned and all went dark. . . .er.

Author's Note

Will Los Jalapeño save La Salsa

Will the Count finally have his just desserts

WILL SOMETHING NEW HAPPEN???

Tune in next week

Rude Awakenings

Rude Awakenings

Pepperjack awoke started with his legs flailing in the air screaming like a filly. After some short panicky breaths turned into calm stable ones the colt decided to take stock of his situation. He was on the ground and on his back. Drool had dripped up his face from his apparently odd sleeping position on the ground.

The ground…not the cart.

He scrambled upright and breathed a sigh of relief seeing the cart next to the now cold fire. He grabbed his Stetson that lay on the ground next to him. He puzzled about his newfound shift in location. He was never one to sleepwalk, but there is always a first time for everything.

"Well that was good sleep regardless, but why is my dream all fuzzy.” He soon grew bored of his musings and proceeded to hitch himself to the cart. No sense waiting if everything is already out away. He started back on his slow journey leaving the enchanted circle of rocks behind

I wonder why I couldn't remember my dream. I mean I remember something about jalapeños and salsa and a cute blue unicorn with a cheese cutie mark…oh well must not be that important.

Pepperjack continued pulling along feeling the cart strain him more than the previous day. Must be the way I slept.

Hours ticked by as he traveled the road. Occasionally greeted by other travelers who he was very nervous around. Pepperjack was pretty sheltered. He came from an all unicorn family and had never left home.

As tradition held on occasion a young colt or mare would make a journey and come home with a betrothed. A tradition that while didn't exclude the other tribes just went to show if you were a unicorn raised by unicorns you were comfortable marring… can you guess?

Most times they didn't come back with a husband or wife. Sometimes a mare bared a foal and sometimes an orphan was brought back who then later married into the family.

Pepperjack considered himself lucky he had two parents and Peppercorn, his mother, was all too happy to be rid of Canterlot and the nobles it contained.

Though he had seen other travelers he had yet to meet a Pegasus. He was always curious of his father’s stories of the feathered flying ponies and terrified of the stories of the fanged lunar pegasi. Soon he would see plenty of solar pegasi in Ponyville it was only a day and a half away. He was filled with wonder excitement and energy.
He looked down the road which had a few rocks but was relatively straight and smooth. A single leaf drifted lazily from the canopy.

Pepperjack narrowed his eyes watching as it fell, tensing his muscles as it fell. It landed softly ahead of him only to be kicked up with the dust as he sprinted by cart in tow.

Running with a load is never easy, but he paid little attention to the cart as his speed increased the weight of the cart felt less and less.

Legs pumping, cart jostling, and jumping Pepperjack felt the thrill of running not paying heed to the world around.

He started to slow as the fatigue caught up to him and the cart’s momentum continued to push him. Smiling to himself as he was flooded with endorphins from the run. It was a beautiful day and it continued to be so as the day past and the sun started getting low in the sky.

From the road a grassy clearing overlooking the lake could be seen as the sun started sinking towards the horizon. It showed a beautiful promise of sunset over the lake and Pepperjack was not one to miss a good camping spot.

The grass was short, only reaching his fetlocks, and had a gorgeous golden shine to it. It covered the clearing casting it in a gilded shine that flowed in the springtime breeze.

Considering the grass was dry, Pepperjack decided not to make a campfire for the night. A short ways away from the road he spotted a nice flat area on the downslope. The cart wanted to roll down the hill, but the young unicorn held onto it with his magic.

After making it down the slope to the overlook he sat down. Watching the sun set the ripples on the lake aflame he wondered what the next day would bring.

Ponyville would be the first town he had ever visited and the stories he had heard from his father made it seem like a place of wonders…

A cool breeze swept the field causing the grass to rustle softly like autumn leaves. Through half lidded eyes Pepperjack watched as the moon began to rise over the opposite side of the lake.

As beautiful as the sun had been on the waters he could only gaze and wonder as the moonlight case upon the waters and made them glow a faint teal. It was as if the lake itself was alive with light.

It was another night of swirling galaxies visible under a full moon, but alas, Pepperjack passed out. Before the moon had even cleared the lake he was rolled up on his back snoring. His legs occasionally kicked out into the open air.
‘Jalapeño.” Mumbled the deeply sleeping unicorn.

The tarp on the cart rustled and lifted. Two crimson eyes peered out. They searched the area hungry and determined. Food would not satisfy this creature. It had already consumed some of the food belonging to the cart baring unicorn. No its appetite was of a more wicked nature.

The eyes quickly disappeared from the tarp and a shadow dropped onto the ground. Shifting and wiggling with no form it shifted across the ground towards the stallion.

The shadow steamed from the ground like a mist slowly transforming into the shape of a pony.

Grey Shaggy fur covered her form. Her silver and lavender mane blowing in the wind. Her glare upon the unicorn covered her face in shadow but her red eyes permeated the darkness. She lowered herself to the ground crawling towards the stallion like a lioness. Her leathery wings extended out and lowered to the ground like a flowing cape.

She reached her prey, folding her wings above him to cast a haunting shadow around the colt. She leaned forward with a menacing smile accentuated by two sharp canines.

Suddenly generations of hunting instincts fought a deadly battle with her equine nature. Her body a battleground of fierce confliction.

All her efforts were undone as her equine nature sounded the trumpets. It was a small wet sounding trumpet, but it had the smell of the ages.

The unicorn snorted once, twice, and his eyes bolted open. He rolled away from the shadow that surrounded him. Uprighting himself on all fours he took a defensive stand.

“I’m warning you I am a unicorn and I’m MAGICAL.” With his proud declaration he lit up his horn only to have it fizzle out and cause a rainbow to form above him right as he said the word magical.

There was silence.

The mare snorted, then snickered, finally losing control she laughed uncontrollably. Wrapping her hooves around her barrel as she rolled on the ground. She had thought this unicorn may have actually been a threat up until his fabulous display of the magical arts.

She recovered from her hysterics and rose from the ground. Eyes leering at the stallion and a menacing smile once again gracing her lips. She started approaching him slowly.

Holy horse apples what do I do? It’s a batmare. ALL FEAR THE BATMARE. What was she doing leaning over me with those fangs? Pepperjack’s pupils shrunk to pinpricks.

“Fangs?”

She smiled showing her pair of sharp meat hooks. She laughed a sweet laugh, a pure betrayal of her intent.

“Yes.” She said melodically. “Fangs.”

A shrill girlish scream rang through the night air as a young stallion lost his pride as he ran and his dignity as a wet trail behind him.

Batmare’s eyes narrowed. No one outruns a lunar pegasus.

The chase had begun and she soon caught up to her prey. After glancing over his shoulder Pepperjack’s movements had increased to an amazing speed as he saw the batmare galloping behind him moving ever closer.

Now unicorns are not known for their speed. The typical unicorn lives in a house, visits a library, and conducts study after study indoors making them poor athletes. Spice family unicorns however lived their lives outside like earth ponies, pulling carts, playing chase, and plowing fields.

So darling dear frightened Pepperjack had more than a bit of a pep in his step. He had enough of adrenaline too to keep him ahead of the lunar pegasus who spent most of her life in the sky not running on the ground.

Getting frustrated that she could not catch her prey by hoof she took to the sky and caught up to Pepperjack.

Her body slammed into his sending them both tumbling. With feline swiftness the batmare rolled Pepperjack on his back and pinned him down.

She stared down at him muzzle to muzzle. Fear was painted all over his face.

“I have you now my cute little friend.”

Pepperjack blushed, blood pounded in his ears and his breath was still ragged from the chase, but his mind shooting at a mile a minute could only register one thought.

This is the first mare to ever call me cute and she is probably going to eat me. AND NOT IN THE GOOD WAY!!!

The mysterious mare smile showcasing her sharp snappers yet again as she leaned down past his muzzle.

OH Celestia. She’s gonna bite me she’s gonna bite me SHE’S GONNA BITE ME!!!

Pepperjack felt wet lips press into his cheek and pop off with a loud smooching sound. The mare looked him in the eyes and winked.

“I like you. That was a fun chase.”

Pepperjack stared like he was broken.

“My name is Sonata. What is yours?”

The gears and wheels that normally turned in his head exploded and crumbled into dust and so he stopped trying to process what was happening.

“P-Pepperjack. My name is Pepperjack.”

“Pepperjack? Like the cheese? Are you a cheese pony? Why aren’t you yellow? Who ever heard of grey cheese? Not that grey is bad, I think you have a lovely coat and those spots are just adorable, but how do you keep your fetlocks so WHITE.” Sonata inhaled sharply after expending most of her air on her outburst.

She scrunched her muzzle and stared at Pepperjack expectantly.

“I THOUGHT YOU WERE GOING TO EAT ME!”

Taken aback Sonata quipped.

“WHAO now, I don’t know you that well at least by me a drink first.”

“I THOUGHT I WAS the drink.” Pepperjack whined.

A look of disgust flashed on her face.

“EEew Noo. I don’t drink blood its nasty and a total myth. I don’t blame you though a lot of ponies in this day and age are still ignorant.”

Pepperjack shifted uncomfortably. “Um s..s-sonata was it. Could you get off of me? This is starting to feel a bit to intimate a position for casual conversation.”

The lunar mare stared at him quizzically for a second. Not comprehending what he was saying. Lunar pegasi almost always made conversation while physically contacting one another. Snuggling up to somepony or having a wing draped on one another showed trust and togetherness and helped them read each other’s intentions through body language.

All too soon Pepperjack’s body language spoke volumes of the situation. From the feel of his body and its collective parts Sonata could tell Pepperjack was currently conflicted about having a potentially dangerous but otherwise attractive mare straddling him. It’s amazing how the body language for danger and arousal can go so well together.

Her face shone crimson through her grey coat. She leaped away from the embarrassing scene. Pepperjack rolled over and got on his feet doing his best to hide his embarrassment. He stared down at the ground occasionally glancing up. Sonata likewise stared off into the sky behind her occasionally looking back at her present company.

After calming down a bit Pepperjack decided he should say something sensible.

“Sooo…You’re a bat pony.”

That however was not sensible, but the words of a sheltered unicorn. Sonata’s face contorted with anger.

“Do NOT CALL Me that! I am a Lunar Pegasus or a Thestral. I will not be insulted.”

Pepperjack was shocked and instantly regretful.

“NO wait, I didn’t mean it like that. Honest, I had no idea. I’m sorry.”

Still glaring she approached the guilty unicorn. He flinched but remained where he was. He did not like how quiet she was.

“Why were you chasing me.”

“Why did you run?”

“I’d rather not talk about it.”

Sonata sighed, she knew she was abrasive at times but all things considering she did feel alittle sorry for scaring him…only alittle.

“Ok, I was hungry that’s all.”

“I though you said you didn’t drink blood.”

“I-I don’t. I eat shadows. So will you answer my question?”

Pepperjack was a puzzled pony with more questions than answers, but he gave in. It was rude to not answer her question even if her answer was more confusing than it was helpful.

“I…I-I’ma.” He started to murmur. “I’m afraid of fangs.”

Author's Note

Aw Sadfaces I've gotten dislikes with no explanation that must make them

TOOOOTALLY Justifiable

Midnight Revelations

Midnight Revelations

As the moon met its peak in the sky many things could be said about the serene night Luna had provided the new acquaintances. The frogs in the lake and the crickets in the field chirped. The pale moonlight lit the landscape. As the stars shone bright in the sky so too did the fireflies in the field, flickering a pale green. It was a completely beautiful and peaceful night.

If you could ignore the laughter.

Sonata had been laughing for awhile now. Forelegs wrapped around her barrel and tears streaming from her eyes. Pepperjack just stood there, face red in embarrassment and scowling at the laughing Lunar Loony. Yeah I’ll call her that to her face. Laughing at me. Everyone is afraid of something.

“It’s NOT FUNNY.”

“AHha AAH NOO YES YES IT IS. Oh MY LUNA I can’t breath aha.”

*Toot*

Sonata stopped laughing. Still on her back laying on the ground she looked at Pepperjack. Her eyes where wide and she started to blush. His expression softened at the sound and now seeing the look on her face made a couple of new thoughts enter his mind.

Aww she’s kinda cute when she’s embarrassed. He snickered. Hehe, I know exactly how to get her back now.

“So THAT’S why your name is Sonata.” The unicorn declared sarcastically. “You certainly are melodious, I mean I’ve never seen a pony who could sing from both ends.”

She glared back at him. ”I’ll bite you.”

“Whatever.” Pepperjack was starting to get brave. He trotted over to her and laid down.

“So how do you eat shadows? If you don’t mind my asking?”

“Well I do mind.” She rolled over onto her belly next to him and stared out at the lake.

She was still like a statue she had the look of intense focus, but Pepperjack saw in her eyes that her mind had wandered elsewhere.

He assumed the same sort of expression staring out at the moon over the waters.

He silently cursed himself. He wasn’t use to meeting new ponies and he felt like he might have done something to upset her. He thought of his little sister Sage.

“Pepper, what if you get eaten by Timberwolves. You don’t have to do the circuit this year. Uncle Bleu said he would be glad to do it.” His sister was a worrying kind of unicorn. She was a protector and her brother was her idol. He was a kind and caring brother and he always tried to make her smile.

Suddenly Pepperjack’s horn glowed with an audible. *DING* He had an idea. He lifted his Stetson up off his head and set it on Sonata’s. The pegasus blinked in surprise and looked directly at Pepperjack. He was smiling.

“Why are you smiling?”

“Sometimes someponies just need a smile when they feel down.”

Pepperjack felt a warm smugness in his words. He was happy and felt he had made a new friend. He laid his head down on his fore hooves and closed his eyes.

“Are you going to sleep?” Sonata as incredulously.

“Eeyup. I’ve had a long day and you’re really warm.”

She blushed at his words.

“Well, What if I decide I want to bite you? Huh? I got fangs.” She bared her mouth open ridiculously showing all her teeth, to which Pepperjack didn’t see because his eyes were closed.

“Na I’m good I trust you.”

“But why?”

“I like to give other ponies the benefit of the doubt, plus you are nice, a little scary at first but nice.”

The pegasus didn’t know what to think of this unicorn. Not even an hour ago she had scared the life out of him and he was timid and afraid, but now. It was almost as if he acted like he knew her for a long time. The grey Stetson started to slip over her eyes. A piece of paper was on the inside.

Sonata carefully took it out and unfolded it. It was a picture of Pepperjack, he was smiling and he had a young filly on his back. Her coat was butter yellow and her hair was two tone green. She was smiling as if nothing else in the world mattered.

Sonata’s brow furrowed, she had never had a brother before and she felt envious of the little filly. Her train of thought was interrupted as she heard Pepperjack start snoring. Great he is just as loud asleep.

“You feinna, you fiend…I’ll get you count.” *SNOOORE*

Great he sleep talks too. I met a real charmer this one. I wonder what he is dreaming about.

Lunar Pegasi had many different talents and a few select individuals could dream walk like Princess Luna could. The only difference being they had to have physical contact with the person whose dream they were entering. It was too easy for Sonata seeing as she was laying right next to him. She closed her eyes and entered his dreamland.

*DRAMATIC MUSIC*

Sonata found herself in a cave with a concrete floor and various pipes and hoses coming out of the rock face. In the distance she saw a grey unicorn wearing a black and white cape and a strange black and red mask with his white snout uncovered. She stared….For a bit not sure of what she was seeing.

“MUAHAHAHAAAAA.” The maniacal laugh from nowhere cut through the cave and Sonata’s distracted mind. Snapping her back to attention.

“Show yourself Count and return La Salsa to me.” The obviously Pepperjack/hero proclaimed to the air.

The ground rumbled and quaked as the concrete floor split with mechanical precision as a lone figure rose up on a pedestal high into the air. The figure was a Lunar Pegasus with black ragged fur and the most cheesy pompadour manecut. He also had a cape, red and black, which had a high collar covering nearly half of his head. His fangs where over exaggerated and silly looking to the actual lunar pegasus that watched this strange dream.

The villain cackled, "Now is the time for my revenge. Show me your face Los Jalapeño and I may spare her life."

"You'll never get away with this. I will save La Salsa."

Sonata was not sure what she was seeing, but she had a gut feeling that it was the cheesiest thing she would ever see...Until.

"LOW AND BEHOLD SONATA. WE SEE YOU HAVE MET UP WITH HONORABLE PEPPERJACK."

He irises grew small and her head made a rusty sound as she turned her head.

Princess Luna greeted her gaze waving one hoof while holding a bucket of popcorn in the other.

"M-Mistress LUNA!?!?"

"Calm thyself, it is getting to the good part." The princess returned her attention to the show.

"You may have escaped last time Count, but I have quested long and hard for the weapon that would bring your end." Los Jalapeño flashed his cape showing a rather long beguette in his magic.

He brandished it like a bready broadsword.

"AUGH NOO NOT GARLIC BREAD. My one true weekness...among other things."

"Your rain of gluttonous terror ends here."

"And how pray tell are your going to reach me up here you wingless cur."

Luna smiled and nudged Sonata. "That is why the count is our favorite villain. He has a...nostalgic vocabulary."

Sonata just shifted from shocked looks of confusion back and forth between the princess and "the play."

Splat Splish SPoCH sPURRRCH

Four light brown squishy blobs lay infront of Los Jalapeño.

"With my Stickybread!!" The hero stepped into the lumps and started galloping towards the platform making slurpy scrunchy noises as his hooves hit the cave floor.

HE LEAPED!!!Landing sideways on the pillar he ran vertical to the amazement of all. His momentum carried him over the edge of the top of the platform. A whirling and twisting blur in the air, the stickybread flew from his hooves pinning the Count to the ground.

The hero ceased his dervish and started falling towards the Count, Garlic Bread Raised HIGH. A battlecry for the ages as he fell towards his foe.

RAAAAAAAAAAGH-

POOF.

Everything went white.

Sonata had seen this before.

Pepperjack had awoke leaving the dreamscape blank with only her and Princess Luna still sitting there in the blank purgatory.

"Well, we believe the climax was good, But we wish Pepperjack would finish his dream every now and again.

"What?" Sonata turned to the alicorn with a mild concern spread on her face.

"Our dearest subject Pepperjack never seems to have endings to his dreams. It always ends right before...the end.

"Princess why did you send me to meet this guy? So far he has been the weirdest unicorn I've ever met. The weirdest PONY I've ever met."

"My subject. Thine previous company was less than pleasant and thou need-ith a hero. Young Pepperjack will keep thou safe and he doth not know it yet."

The dreamscape collapsed and Sonata awoke to see Pepperjack getting up.

"Oh, sorry I woke you. Would you like some breakfeast?"

Author's Note

So Despite negative responses.....

I"M BACK and I Will keep writing until morale improves...as well as writing.

ANywhich way I've decided for know i will just write the story as I please and focus on editing after it is completed otherwise I will get no progress done.

To those with helpful comments I thank you. To those who disliked. GET A LIFE!!!

Bye *SMOOCHES*

Temperamental mare

Have you ever got that feeling you where being watched. Sonata suddenly had that feeling. Glorious gazing green eyes and a shiny white muzzle was all she saw as she awoke.

Pepperjack had been in front of her staring, watching, waiting for her to awaken., and he was terribly too close. Sonata was petrified and blushing intensely.

"What are you doing?"

WHY IS HE SO CLOSE TO MEE?

"Watching you sleep."

The young stallion was unfazed by the closeness, his curiosity has always gotten the better of him."W-why?"

The unshakeable batmare was finding herself rather uncomfortable and flustered.

All she could see was a close up of his eyes, his white muzzle that faded into his grey coat, and abit of his mane that hung down a few wisps of red hair mixed with black. She would have thought he was cute, if she wasn't freaking out internally.

Pepperjack blinked and moved closer touching snoot to snoot.

Sonata made a high pitched whine as their snoots touched and her personal bubble was ripped asunder.

"You know what Sonata?" Pepperjack's voice was soft and silky and caused a curious heat to stir within the uncomfortable mare.

"Wa-waa-What?"

The young stallion smiled. "At first I was staring because I was curious about thestrals, but you know what."

UGH STOP ASKING ME THE SAME QUESTION AND WHY ARE YOU TALKING LIKE THAT!!??

"Your kinda cute." He licked her snoot and started rolling away on his side giggling and rolling in the grass like a filly in springtime.

He felt giddy. He had never flirted with anyone before and he wondered if he did it right.

YEP I'm a cool colt

A sound whipped him out of his revelry a wooshing rush of air. He stopped rolling and looked to the source. Sonata was still laying in the same spot. Morning light falling softly upon her pet. Interestingly enough her wings where spread high in the air on both sides of her. Pepperjack walked over and prodded the outstretched limbs with a hoof.

" I'm not an expert on flying but don't you like have to move them more if you want to fly."

"Don't touch my wings!!"

Sonata spun around hopping Pepperjack in the face with her tail.

"Oooh you are totally into me."

Flirting was something he had no experience with but bluffing and using logic to tease somepony was something of a weapon he learned from his sister Sage.

"You are totally out of your mind if you think you have a chance with me..." Raising a forehoof and strikes a regal pose preparing herself. She was groomed to be a leader and leaders battle with wits and cunning. " I am a princess." Shoving her nose in the air she allowed him to bask in her glory.

"You don't have a horn so you can't be a princess."

Sonata facehoofed." It is a title. You don't have to be an alicorn to be a princess"

"What nation do you preside over?"

Hesitation is the first step to falling on your face.

"W..w-we do not own land. I am the princess and heir to the High Thestali line of Cheiftains."

"So your a Cheiftain's daughter not a princess?"

"The fact our line is royalty is proof enough that I am a princess regardless of titles."

"But titles are the only thing that makes you a princess. How can you govern a species and wouldn't that make you a queen like the changelings?"

"Buh-but I.."

"And for that matter Wouldn't you have to marry a prince? I'm sure the only one around is Blueblood. And of course where is your valiant knight?"

Frustrated by logic, disgusted by the thought of marrying Blueblood, and utterly infuriated by the blue collar unicorn that Princess Luna deemed her protector, Sonata's mind and mouth betrayed her.

"YOU ARE MY KNIGHT!!!"

Her eyes went wide realizing what she said, his narrowed, and he smirked victoriously.
She's into me

The mare's mind raced
No no no no NO! But?what?how? He got me to say the words. I'm not ready to say those words.

She flew behind the cart and started to pace...and freak out.

OK..ok calm down. He is obviously sheltered so there is no way he could know...yeah I'll just pretend it never happened and this whole thing will blow over and no one else will know.

Sufficiently calmer she rounded the cart only to bump snoot to snoot. Her eyes glared into the bane of her exsistance and his mocking grin and...cheesy mustache?

"Oh Sonata.."

Boisterous and confident was his voice...It filled her with rage.

"There is something..."

"Please Celestia no."

"I mustache you."

Sweet merciful Luna kill me now.

"What?" She growled in frustration.

"What did you mean when you said I was your knight?"

In nature there are two things you must remember;

When cornered a creature will respond with flight or fight.

But more importantly you must remember,

Women never lose...

Fueled by rage, shame, hatred, and many other mixed negative emotions. The shadow magic inherent in all Badland thestrals started to manifest. Her fur bristled and blaze, ebony in color. Her flat teeth changed into jagged fangs and already sharp canines extended farther. Shadow seemed to ooze from her coat and her eyes glowed dark changing her from the young princess and into an incarnation of a predator of the night.

She pounced the unicorn pinning him to the ground with on forhoof.

Her roar sent spittle and foam across his face. The deafening sound blew his hat from his head. The only thing in his vision is the rawring jaws and rows of sharp meat cleaving fangs.

Pepper's eyes rolled back in his head as he fainted. Two things crossed his mind as he slipped into unconsciousness.

Fangs

And

I just shat myself.

Author's Note

Fuck you dislikes I'm gonna make a comeback.