Her Royal Highness: Twilight Sparkle
Her Royal Highness: Twilight Sparkle
The golden light of dawn filtered in through the upper windows of the Royal Palace of Friendship, where Twilight Sparkle sat on her throne, surrounded as ever by those who had led her to this place, held her hoof through the tough times, and by every right earned all of the same power and privileges that she herself had gained. Not that she intended to abuse her royal authority, of course. As Princess of Friendship, it was her sworn royal duty to see to the happiness of others, not to revel in her own authority.
Twilight Sparkle cleared her throat as a magically hovering gavel banged on the small podium she set up in front of her throne. “Before we formally begin the first official meeting of the Royal Court of Friendship, we must make sure we’re all here. Fluttershy.”
Fluttershy waved meekly from her own throne. “Here…”
“Rainbow Dash.”
Rainbow grinned. “You know it.”
“Applejack.”
Applejack rolled her eyes. “Ain’t it a bit silly, callin’ roll? There’s not that many of us.”
Twilight gasped in shock. “Not call roll? It’s official procedure for any meeting! If we simply threw out procedures because they’re mildly inconvenient, it would be total chaos!”
Applejack relented with a chuckle. “Alright, alright, here.”
“Pinkie Pie.” Twilight turned toward her pink friend, who was humming merrily to herself. “Pinkie Pie?” Once again, no response. Finally Twilight rolled her eyes with a resigned chuckle. “Pinkie Supreme-Chancellor-of-Fun Pie.”
Pinkie Pie bounced up excitedly. “Ooh! Ooh! That’s me! Here! I’m here!”
“I’m glad you are.” Twilight smiled before turning to the last seat. “Rarity?” Twilight blinked, seeing the last seat was, indeed, completely empty. “Rarity’s not here? We told her we were meeting today, didn’t we?” Twilight glanced down at the throne beside hers.
Spike shrugged from his seat. “Don’t look at me, I totally told her, I swear!”
Applejack spoke up with a worried tone. “I didn’t wanna say nothin’, but am I the only one who thinks this whole ‘royal court’ thing might be goin’ to Rarity’s head?”
“Going to her head?” Rainbow shrugged. “I haven’t noticed anything weird.”
“She seems fine to me,” Fluttershy quickly relented. “But then, I could be wrong…”
“She’s finer than sand!” Pinkie Pie exclaimed.
Just then the double-doors at the front of the palace swept open with a swoosh of air, and a massive, flowing dress made of snow-white silk and lace moved into the room, almost completely concealing the body of a pony half its size in its mighty folds. It would have slid across the ground as it moved were it not for the two mares following with the back end held carefully in their teeth to keep it from dragging. Lyra and Bon-Bon trailed close behind her, their faces solemn and focused on their assigned task.
Rarity approached her throne with a slow, dainty step, almost as if she was marching down the aisle towards her future husband. The makeup was plastered across her face much more thickly than usual, though true to Rarity’s calling, it didn’t look appallingly overdone. It was fashionable, but somewhat extreme for a small gathering of friends.
It took Rarity a minute to reach her throne and seat herself formally on top of it, leaving her two hoofmaidens to stand by the sides like royal guards.
It wasn’t until she was fully seated that Rarity let her eyes flutter open with a flourish of fake lashes and heavy eyeshadow. “Hello all,” Rarity greeted her friends.
“Um…” Twilight cleared her throat. “I’m glad you could make it, Rarity.”
Spike was practically drooling. “Me too…” A hoof colliding with the back of his skull snapped him out of whatever thoughts had taken hold.
Rarity batted her eyelashes apologetically. “I do apologize most sincerely, but I thought I would spruce myself up a bit for my public appearance on the way here. We royals must take care to show our best at all times, mustn’t we?”
“Um, yes, that makes sense.” Twilight glanced uneasily over her friend’s shoulder. “And your… er… friends, there?”
Rarity giggled. “Oh don’t mind them, they’re just here to observe and make sure I don’t need anything. Being a royal is quite hard work you know, I can’t possibly focus on both my royal duties and the day to day concerns of normal life, can I?”
“Seems to be workin’ for me,” Applejack smirked. “‘Sides, callin’ us royals may be pushin’ it a little. We’re Princess Twilight’s Royal Court, not princesses.”
“And yet this is as close as we can come to being princesses, we shall help make decisions that will shape Equestria. It’s quite stressful.”
“Well yes, that’s true.” Twilight swept her gaze across the rest of her friends. “You may not be princesses, but I place your counsel equal to my own thoughts. I want us all to be equals here, as we have been since I came to Ponyville.”
“There, you see?” Rarity smiled in satisfaction. “We’re princess-equivalents!”
Applejack’s hoof clopped against her forehead. “Oh brother…”
Rarity clopped her hooves together in front of her. “So! What important decisions shall we be making today? Are there new laws to make? Neighboring countries to negotiate terms of peace or surrender with?”
Rainbow Dash cocked an interested eyebrow. “Surrender? Who are we at war with? Why didn’t I know we were at war?”
Fluttershy squeaked and huddled down in her chair. “Oh gosh, war is so terrible…”
Rainbow grinned. “You bet it is. One slice of a sword, and-“
Twilight interrupted just when Fluttershy looked like she was about to scream. “We’re not at war! We’re convening today to set the schedule for our royal responsibilities here in the castle. With us all being equals I see no reason for all six of us to live and work here every day, so we’re going to take daily shifts attending to the daily royal duties here in the palace.”
Rarity sighed. “Oh, is that all? Scheduling?”
Applejack gave her a wry look. “I s’pose you’re too good for that?”
Rarity rolled her eyes. “Don’t put words in my mouth, Applejack. I simply meant that we could have discussed this outside of this dark… but admittedly most sparkly palace.”
Twilight raised her hoof. “That wouldn’t exactly be organized or clear, and when it comes to royal matters, we need to be both organized and clear. Now, I propose that we all make a list of the days we’re available for royal duties, compile them, and try to assign each of us one day out of the week to tend to the palace. We’ll each spend the night in the castle and then pass it off to the next pony in the morning. Since I’m the Alicorn princess I will volunteer to be the one who takes the seventh day.”
“Wait a minute…” Rainbow’s jaw dropped open. “Pinkie’s gonna be in charge one day a week? Alone?”
“Yesseroni!” Pinkie was practically dancing a jig on her throne.
Rainbow Dash looked at her, then at Twilight. “Seriously?”
Twilight nodded. “She’s one of us, Rainbow Dash. Besides, don’t you trust her?”
Rainbow Dash turned to watch Pinkie pumping her hooves at the air in front of her in what looked like a little butt-dance on her seat, then turned back to Twilight. “I trust Pinkie with sandwiches and balloons… but governing…?”
Twilight giggled. “Oh come on, the daily royal duties for us mostly amount to signing paperwork and saying hello to curious travelers. Most of the royal Equestrian duties are still being handled by Celestia and Luna in Canterlot. She’ll only be here for emergencies, and we’ll all still be here in town to help if things get out of hoof. What’s the worst that could happen?”
Rainbow Dash settled back in her seat again. “Yeah, those aren’t famous last words…”
Twilight tapped her gavel on her podium again. “Now, Spike, would you please pass out these cards and pencils? I want everypony to write down the days they’re available to give up to the throne, and hopefully we’ll end up with one pony available on each day.”
Silence fell over the throne room as each pony took their pads and pencils scribbled across the blank cards. When they were finished Spike gathered up the cards and brought them back to Twilight, whose magic and quick reading skills made easy work of sifting through and compiling the notes made by her friends. Except…
Twilight smiled in understanding. “Pinkie Pie, a picture of a cake doesn’t tell me what days you’re available.”
“But I’m sooooooo hungry!”
“We’ll get something to eat when we’re finished here, I promise. We just need to finish this up.”
Pinkie sighed. “Okay, well, I don’t have any plans on Tuesdays or Fridays.”
“Perfect!” Twilight nodded and pulled one more sheet of parchment close, where a feathered quill quickly set about making a small list. “We have reached a consensus. Fluttershy, you’ll be on the throne on Mondays.”
Fluttershy squeaked and ducked down on her throne. “Eeep! Um… I mean… yay…?”
Twilight continued, “Applejack, you’re on Tuesday. Rarity will take Wednesday, Rainbow Dash on Thursday, and Pinkie Pie can handle Friday. I’ll sacrifice my own weekends, so I’ll take Saturday and Sunday.”
“How very generous of you, darling.” Rarity smiled brightly.
Applejack frowned. “Are you sure you wanna do that? We could rotate the seventh day, it would only be fair.”
“Nonsense. This palace is mine, technically, it’s only right that I take the seventh day. You’re already being so kind to help me with my royal duties as it is, when you didn’t even ask for any of this.” Twilight smiled warmly. “Thank you all.”
“Awwww, shucks…” Rainbow Dash rubbed the back of her head with a deep blush. “You can be such a sap sometimes…”
Fluttershy smiled kindly. “Technically you didn’t ask for it either, you know…”
“No, I didn’t, but that doesn’t change the fact that it is my responsibility.” Twilight cleared her throat and raised her gavel in front of her. “I decree that our business here today has been concluded, and seeing as it is Sunday, I will watch the throne for the remainder of the day and night. Thank you all so much for your participation.” Her gavel banged officially on her podium.
“You’re quite welcome, darling.” Rarity slid off of her throne, a simple act she somehow made look easy despite the folds of cloth that engulfed her slender frame. “If anypony needs to find me, you of course know where I shall be! Now I must bid you all a fond adieu.” She nodded respectfully and turned to leave.
Lyra and Bon-Bon scrambled to catch the back of her dress before it could touch the floor, accidentally yanking Rarity back mid-stride.
“Hey! Watch where you’re tugging!” Rarity glared.
Lyra blushed apologetically as she spoke around the cloth in her mouth, “gorry. Ib almob fwipped.”
“Eeeewe, don’t slobber on my dress! You are ruining it! Come on, we can still save it if we hurry!” Rarity whirled to bolt out of the palace, the sudden sprint yanking her two hoofmaidens behind her by their teeth.
Applejack looked at each of her friends in turn. “I ain’t gonna say it…”
Twilight giggled. “She’s just excited, I’m sure she’ll calm down soon.”
“I’m sure you’re right, Twilight.” Fluttershy slid daintily off of her throne.
“I’ll see you in the morning, Fluttershy. Just come by when you’re ready to take over.”
“I will. Take care Twilight.”
Applejack waved as she turned to leave with the others. “Holler if you need anything, Twilight. We’ll all come runnin’.”
“I’m sure everything will be fine, see you girls later.” Twilight showed her friends to the door, then turned with a sigh to head further into the castle.
Her hooves tromped across the newly-carpeted floors on her way towards the back to take a look around. She hadn’t really spent a lot of time in here since it had sprouted from that mysterious crystal seed, and exploring its inner depths was next on her to-do list.
Spike landed gently on her back as she passed the throne room. “Do you feel any different yet, Princess Twilight? Now that you have actual royal duties, I mean.”
Twilight pondered that for a moment. “I haven’t really done anything yet, though… maybe once I do something, I’ll finally start feeling like a princess. For now, let’s see what we have to work with.”
Their tour of the castle was silent and swift. It turned out that the building wasn’t overly large, in fact it was only slightly larger than Golden Oaks library had been. Just big enough to accommodate a couple of extra rooms spread out across the bottom floor, and seven bedrooms one on top of another leading toward the top of a spiral staircase with a cutie mark on each door. Twilight’s mark was on the uppermost door, and a smaller, unmarked bedroom she assumed was Spike’s sat right beneath it.
“Man, that mystical seed thought of everything.” Spike commented as he looked proudly around his private room.
“It is strange that everything it did was so… specific. It gave you a throne and a bedroom. How did it even know about you? Do you think the Tree of Harmony is… alive?”
Spike scratched his head. “Trees are alive, Twilight.”
Twilight blushed. “You know what I mean! I mean sentient, observant. It must have known you were with us.”
“Maybe.” Spike shrugged. “If it is, I’m glad it remembered I was here. Having my own room is going to be awesome!”
Twilight giggled, and the pair resumed their brief tour of the new palace, winding their way back downstairs towards the throne room. Upon entering Twilight smiled when she saw one of her most familiar friends waiting in the middle of the circle of chairs.
“Mayor Mare! What can I do for you?” Twilight approached with a bright smile.
The mayor of Ponyville turned in surprise, then bowed deeply in front of her. “I’m sorry to intrude, Princess Twilight, but I was wondering if, well…”
“Go on.” Twilight nudged her encouragingly.
“You see, with a princess in town making the rules, having a mayor too is a little… redundant… so I seem to be out of a job, at present. I was hoping you would have a job for me here in the palace?” The former mayor’s smile was hopeful.
Twilight gasped. “Oh gosh, I didn’t mean to put you out of a job! Of course you can work here! I’m… not entirely sure what you would do, though.”
“Oh, I have many skills! If you’d like I can assist you in keeping track of your appointments and who has come to see you.”
“My appointments? Come to see me? Who’s coming to see me?”
“Them, of course.” The former mayor gestured down the hallway toward the cracked-open front double doors, where a small line of ponies was beginning to gather right outside the building.
Spike gaped at the crowd. “Holy moly! What are they doing here?”
“Well as an official princess now, you’re not just responsible for being a judicial leader, but a spiritual leader as well. Especially as the Princess of Friendship, your advice is highly sought after.”
“They’re coming to me for advice? All of them?” Twilight blushed. “That sure is a lot of ponies… okay; you’ve got a deal, Mayor. If you’d let them in one at a time for me?”
“With pleasure, Princess Twilight… er, and it’s Care Mare, now.”
“Oh, er, right, sorry.” Twilight blushed and turned to approach her throne at the back of the room, taking a moment to compose herself. “Please let the first pony in, Miss Care Mare!”
“Yes your highness!” Care Mare turned to head down the front hallway.
Spike settled into his throne beside Twilight with a sigh. “I think I’m gonna get used to having ponies come to us with their problems instead of running around town helping them.”
“It’s certainly more convenient,” Twilight giggled.
She turned her attention toward again at the sound of hooves clopping across the thick red carpet they had laid down from the entrance. A pleasant smile lit up her features when she saw Big Macintosh approaching with slightly redder-than-usual cheeks.
“Hello there, Big Mac! Can I do something for you today?”
“Um…” Big Macintosh glanced around the room, then at Spike. “Private?”
“Oh, of course! It’s a personal matter…” Twilight slid off the throne and turned to give Spike a smile. “I have a feeling a lot of the problems are going to be this way. Why don’t you take the day off, Spike? Go have fun.”
“Fun?” Spike blinked. “By myself? I guess I could go help Rarity…”
Twilight rolled her eyes. “Whatever you want to do, Romeo. Just try to be back by eight PM.”
“You got it!” Spike saluted and turned to dart out of the palace.
“This way, Mr. Mac.” Twilight led the way to one of the ground floor living rooms, where a set of thickly cushioned chairs and rugs was arranged in front of an inviting fireplace. “Please, make yourself comfortable,” The alicorn slid into one of the taller chairs, while Mac sat himself down on the longer sofa facing the fireplace. “What seems to be bothering you?”
Big Macintosh looked around a bit guiltily, as if making absolutely sure they were alone, before pulling her old beat up Smarty Pants doll out from under his yoke with a sheepish smile.
Twilight looked at the doll for a moment, then turned her gave up toward Big Macintosh’s eyes. “Big Macintosh, you took my smarty pants doll?”
“Eyup…” Big Macintosh yupped self-consciously.
“Oh my gosh…” Twilight frowned. “You stole my Smarty Pants doll!? How could you!? I combed the field three times looking for her! My ailing grandmother sent me that doll when I was six! My brother horn-swore over it to be my B.B.B.F.F. when I was eight! I patterned my whole life around the lessons that doll taught me about how to focus on my studies! Without that doll who knows what I would be now! And you just took her without permission!?”
By the time she finished letting her feelings out, Big Macintosh was huddled on the couch looking so much like a guilty dog that she could almost hear him whimpering. She took a deep breath and forced herself to calm down. “Big Macintosh, my friendship lesson to you is, don’t take things without asking. It’s rude and illegal.”
“Eyup…” Big Macintosh nodded guiltily.
Twilight paused for a moment. “You love it that much? Even without the spell?” After a nod from the eldest Apple family member she looked down for a moment. “But… here’s another friendship lesson…” Twilight stepped forward and picked up the doll from the floor where it had fallen. “Sometimes even if you love something, it’s better to give it to somepony who loves it more.” She held the doll out to him with a soft smile.
Big Macintosh finally looked up from his coiled position, his eyes shining brightly at the doll. “Yup!”
“And don’t worry about what others will think. It doesn’t matter how many ponies think it’s ‘for girls’, enjoying something you love never makes you less of a stallion.”
Big Macintosh nodded in agreement and set Smarty Pants on his back like a little rider, rather than sticking her back in his yoke. “Yup! Thanks!” Big Macintosh pulled Twilight into what would have been a crushing hug to a unicorn, but which Twilight took in stride before showing him out into the hallway.
She still felt a bit miffed as she watched him leave with her childhood friend, to the strange and concerned looks of the ponies gathered just outside.
Care Mare approached Twilight with a bright smile. “Did it go well? Are you ready for the next pony?”
“Yeah, I think I can handle this.” Twilight smiled. “Bring it on!”
___
Roseluck sighed on her back on the couch. “I just had to confess to somepony… I took Colgate’s twenty bits from her counter. I mean, I know it was wrong, but… still, it’s twenty bits, you know? I’m sure she doesn’t even miss it.”
“Uh…” Twilight coughed. “Still, I think you know what you need to do now. You’re clearly feeling guilty about it, so maybe you should consider returning it. That’s my advice as a friendship expert.”
Roseluck put a hoof on her chin, then waved it over her head. “Nah. I mean, our friendship won’t be hurt if she doesn’t find out, right? Yeah, just forget all about it and it can’t possibly ever come back to hurt me.”
“Uh, I don’t know if that’s really the right way to look at-”
“Thanks a lot, Twilight. You’ve really helped me piece all this together!”
___
“I swear sometimes it’s like herding a group of cats!” Cheerilee plopped down on her back on the sofa. “After ten years of teaching I swear it never gets any easier trying to get them to just listen to simple information!”
“Oh my… but it’s your job, Cheerilee, and they’re your students, they rely on you to prepare them for the real world later on in life.”
“Oh bah, prepare nothing, three quarters of those little buggers are going to end up window cleaners and toilet scrubbers anyway.” Cheerilee heaved a sigh. “Why did I choose to waste my life on a hopeless cause? Why couldn’t my calling have been something that matters?”
“But… you’re a teacher. Teachers are our most important members of Ponyville.”
“Bah, this town doesn’t produce anybody important! We had to import you just to make some of us important by association!”
“Are you okay…?”
“Why wouldn’t I be!? Hush up! I’m perfectly fine! It’s this place that’s messed up! Especially the children!”
___
“Mom? What the hay are you doing here?” Twilight Sparkle blinked in surprise.
Twilight Velvet smiled proudly as she took a seat on the sofa. “Oh I had to come and see your new palace, sweetie! Your father and I are so proud of you.”
Twilight blushed. “Thanks mom, I didn’t expect you… but it really means a lot to me.”
“Of course now it’s time for you to take a prince and make some little princes and princesses.”
Twilight blushed. “Mom, I’m not thinking about that right now.”
“I know, so I did it for you!” Velvet’s horn glowed, dragging a suave-looking unicorn into the room from just outside.
“Gah!” Twilight gasped.
“Hola, senorita Sparkle. My name is Silver Tongue, and you… are the most beautiful mare in these bounteous lands of ours.” The stallion took her hoof and raised it to his lips.
“Uh… thanks…?”
___
“Why does everypony act like it’s my fault that I’m pretty, popular, smart, and rich?” Diamond Tiara whined on the couch. “I wasn’t the reason that Apple Bloom was raised in a barn! I didn’t give Scootaloo lopsided wings too small to lift a paperweight! I sure didn’t give Sweetie Belle those freaky-ginormous eyes! And I didn’t take away their special talents so they would be worthless blank flanks forever! Nature did that! Not me!”
“Mmhmm…” Twilight Sparkle tapped a pencil against her lips as she regarded the little filly with a studying eye. “How much time have you spent talking to them?”
“Talking? I talk to them every day. Somepony’s gotta remind them how hopeless and meaningless their lives are.”
“Have you considered perhaps stopping and talking to them calmly? Nicely? Perhaps if you spent more time getting to know them, you would be able to overcome this perception you have of them as relatively worthless, and you could see that, even if they’re not perfect, they have their own virtues, and aren’t all that different from yourself after all?”
Diamond Tiara stared at her blankly for a moment of stunned silence. “… That’s stupid, you suck at this.” She slid off the couch and whirled to leave as Twilight’s hoof slammed into her forehead.
___
An earth pony stallion with deep black fur and a wild attractively tangled mane that burned fiery red sat on the edge of the couch, giving her a wide, excited smile. “You have really pretty hair…”
Twilight smiled back in appreciation. “Why thank you, I try to take care of it.”
“I could take care of it for you, when we’re married!” The stallion leaned closer.
Twilight leaned back a bit reflexively. “Ahem… th-thank you…? And you are…?”
“My name’s Dragon Shadow, I just arrived in Equestria, and I’ve never met you before… but I sure believe in love at first sight…”
“Er… th-thank you…” Twilight’s horn began to blink furiously.
“I love you! Marry me!”
“I love you too! Do you know who else loves you? These wonderful gentlecolts in the white lab coats.” Twilight forced a smile onto her lips as the door to her office opened and two big stallions marched in to detain the black pony. “They’ll take the best care of you.”
“You can’t deny our destiny, Twilight Sparkle!” Dragon Shadow struggled against the two stallions as he was dragged toward the door. “Our destiny is together! You’re supposed to love me! You’ll love meeeee!”
___
“I hate that jerk, Rarity!” Aloe Vera plopped down on the couch and pounded her hooves against the cushion beneath her. “She comes to the spa every single week and treats us like her slaves! ‘The usual’ she says! Every! Single! Time! Urgh! Everything about her voice makes me want to throw her out of the spa, but she just pays us too much money! So we put on the same song and dance we have to do for all our customers while I resist the urge to buck her head so hard it flies out her butt!”
“Wow! Okay… I can sense a little animosity here.” Twilight raised her hooves in a calming manner. “Rarity can be a… unique pony, for sure, but you know she wouldn’t mean to do anything to make you upset. Perhaps if you spoke to her next time she came by, you could resolve these feelings in a calm and civil manner and, perhaps, overcome them altogether, even if being friends isn’t an option.”
“I can’t confront her! She’s practically putting our future children through college! If she marches out we lose a major source of income! I just want somepony to sew her mouth shut!” Aloe sat up and leaned toward Twilight conspiratorially. “You don’t know anypony who can make that happen, do you?”
“… No. No I do not.”
___
“So uh…” A stallion hidden underneath a thick brown cloak cast a conspiratorial glance around the room from the sofa. “You’re Princess Twilight Sparkle, yes?”
“That’s right, and I’m here to answer all of your concerns about the magic of friendship.”
“Right, I understand.” The stallion winked. “Friendship is important; it would most certainly prevent us from doing what must be done to undo the tyranny of the throne.”
“To… undo the what now?”
“Nothing, of course. Nopony would ever dream of uninstalling the current tyranny and placing a certain new princess on the throne in their stead to usher in a new age of Equestrian peace and prosperity.”
“… Guards.”
___
“Thanks for coming to see me, Maud!” Twilight smiled brightly as Pinkie’s older sister, Maud Pie, settled onto the couch. “What brings you here today?”
“Did you know there are still places outside of Equestria where rocks are thrown at criminals as a form of punishment?” Maud spoke in her usual low tone.
“Oh my! I didn’t! That’s terrible!”
“I know. I’ve always wanted to do something about it, but I don’t know what.”
“Well Maud, we can change things here in Equestria, but sometimes we just have to accept that other cultures have their own ways. We can talk to them, and try to reason with them, but ultimately we can’t spend our whole lives worrying about it. You need to live your life, and try to help those ponies who are victims wherever you can.”
“I was talking about the rocks.” Maud nodded slowly. “Imagine it. Being thrown through the air against your will, used like slaves. It’s unimaginable.”
“Uh… yeah, I… guess?”
“I’m sure if you would sign my petition to end rock cruelty it would help out tremendously.”
“Um… oh my, look at the time, I think my next appointment is already waiting…”
___
“I don’t know how to talk to her! I mean, we play games together all the time, but I don’t know how to say things! I feel like I become stupid whenever I’m around her…” Button Mash cupped his hooves in his lap demurely. “Maybe I am stupid…”
Twilight giggled. “Oh Button, you’re not stupid. You’re just an innocent boy growing up. Tell me, what kinds of things do you do together?”
“Well we play video games; we really like to play Minecraft.”
“That’s good! Sharing interests is good. What else?”
Button Mash blinked. “Else?”
“Yes. Like… video games are your interest, what do you do that interests Sweetie Belle?”
Button continued to stare up at her blankly. “I don’t follow.”
“You see, relationships, romantic or platonic, are a give and take thing.”
“Oh! She gives me video games sometimes! She’s so nice!”
“…”
___
Thunderlane’s hooves rested on his stomach as he spoke. “I called Derpy ‘wall-eye’ yesterday. I guess it was kind of mean… but it just made me feel better about myself somehow, you know?”
Twilight cleared her through. “Well you know, sometimes putting others down can make us feel better… but that feeling is fake. We put down others to put them below us, which puts us above them, and raises our self-esteem. Perhaps there’s something in your life that you feel bad about. Something that we can help you fix if you’ll just talk about it.”
“What? Nah, I’m fine, it’s just, have you seen Derpy? I mean, I can’t even look at her head, she just looks creepy.”
“Her name is Ditzy Doo, actually.” Twilight frowned. “And you’re here to…”
“Vent, mostly. I feel a lot better. You’re great at this.”
Twilight sighed. “Thanks…”
___
Ditzy Doo sat demurely on the edge of the couch. “Thunderlane called me wall-eye yesterday… called me Derpy again too…”
“Oh Ditzy, I’m so sorry.” Twilight cooed sympathetically. “You really shouldn’t let the judgementalism of other ponies get you down. Everypony is entitled to their own opinion, but the only opinion that should matter to you, is your own, and those of your close friends. Be who you are, and don’t worry if somepony is too close-minded to realize how special you are.”
“I know… sometimes it just makes me want to… destroy them all! For all the terrible things they’ve ever done to me! They’ll never hurt anypony like that again! Never ever! Not after they can’t move anymore! Yesssss…”
“…”
“Whew, I feel a lot better now! Thanks for listening, Twilight!” Ditzy slid off the couch and turned to approach the exit with a lighthearted hum.
___
Twilight Sparkle watched the front double doors of her palace swing closed with a thunderous clang in the open entryway at the front, the only ponies left on the inside being Twilight herself and Care Mare, who turned to approach her with a bright smile.
“We got through the first day. I think this calls for a celebration!”
“Yeah… the first day… of the rest of my life.” Twilight looked away from her friend.
“Twilight? Are you okay? You look a little down.”
Twilight hesitated a moment before continuing. “Have you ever felt like there came a moment where you realized that you didn’t know your friends at all? That everything they’ve told you about themselves was just a charade? A friendly fake to get by in daily life without being looked at funny by their peers? I’ve always thought of Ponyville as a wonderful town full of good ponies, but now…”
“Ah, I see…” Care Mare turned to walk toward the stairs in the back, gesturing Twilight to follow. “As the town’s mayor, I was privy to information about a lot of Ponyville’s citizens that not many others had. I saw many of them at their absolute worst when they did something regrettable.”
“How could you keep looking at them like the same ponies? I mean, I won’t spill private information, but some of the things I’ve heard today were… well, frankly, horrifying. I feel like the town is full of liars, cheats, jerks, and borderline criminals.”
“Let me put it this way, Twilight.” Care Mare gave her a piercing, searching look. “I saw you when you first came to Ponyville. I watched you grow closer to your friends, unsure, unsteady, but growing more confident all the time. Here you are, beaming your confidence to the rest of the world… and yet now coming and confiding your unsureness and confusion to me. Which of you do you think is the real you, Twilight? The confident princess, or the confused unicorn who is still learning?”
“I…” Twilight gulped. “I don’t know.”
“It was a trick question.” Care Mare approached Twilight’s room at the top of the building and pushed the door open for her. “They’re both the real you. There’s more to a pony than just who they are in public, but that doesn’t mean who they are in public is fake. Flaws, doubts, insecurities, sometimes even less desirable personality traits, they’re all just parts of who we are, pieces of the puzzle that make up each and every pony in Equestria.”
The two mares walked through the room to look out the far window over the town of Ponyville, where Twilight could watch the ponies who had just hours before been in her castle complaining, whining, confessing. Disgusting individuals who suddenly, out there, looked happy, and were making others happy in turn.
“I think I see what you’re saying.” Twilight shook her head. “As flawed as they are on the inside, they still have the virtues they always had. They exist side-by-side; two or more sides of the same pony, sometimes conflicting, but still coexisting somehow. The most complex puzzle in the world… unsolvable, but real.”
Care Mare turned to look at her fully. “That’s how I’ve always seen them, at least.”
“Thank you, Care Mare. Your advice just saved me a lot of headache.” Twilight smiled. “I hope I can count on your continued service here in the palace. I’ll make sure you get paid as much as you were getting as mayor. You deserve it.”
“It would be my honor, Princess Twilight.” Care Mare bowed low in front of her, then turned to head toward the door. “Sleep well.”
“Goodnight.” Twilight waved after her, then turned to look out the window with a small half smile. She hadn’t been prepared for what she would discover once she became the Princess of Friendship, and the types of problems she would be confronted with when ponies exposed their innermost thoughts and feeling to her. It had been overwhelming, and for the most part she felt like she hadn’t helped at all… but that didn’t mean she couldn’t try. If she could help even one pony find the magic of friendship, it would all be worth it.
And for the rest? Well, they were flawed… but they were still her friends.
To Be Continued
Author's Note
I've never been particularly good at writing comedy. I find that my writing style simply isn't the best for it. It's too introspective and wordy to keep the flow of a joke going. So this story is sort of an attempt to alleviate that by doing away with a lot of the description and internal monologue that would normally be present in my stories, allowing something of a comedic flow to shine through. Comedy is 90% timing, after all. The best joke in the world will fall flat if it isn't timed just so. I'm not going to say I did it perfectly, or even that I did it well, but I like it, and I hope you found some enjoyment in it too.
Her Royal Highness: Fluttershy
Her Royal Highness: Fluttershy
The Royal Palace of Friendship loomed close in front of Fluttershy. She felt like her legs were going wobbly and weak the closer she got. She had done many things in her life, especially since meeting Twilight Sparkle and all of her wonderful friends, but taking on the responsibilities of a princess sounded so overwhelming. It was only the comforting weight of her darling Angel Bunny on her back that kept her from whirling around and running back home.
“I don’t know about this Angel… being a princess, even for one day a week, sounds so… scary.” Fluttershy lowered her head. “What if I do a bad job? What if I make Princess Twilight look bad? What if I give somepony bad advice and their whole life is ruined forever and ever?”
She jumped when she felt a little furry foot beat against the back of her head, drawing her attention back to the bunny who was giving her a stern look. “Yes, I know I should be more confident… I wouldn’t be an acting princess if Princess Celestia and the others didn’t have faith in me…”
She stopped in front of the palace double-doors and took a deep, steadying breath. “Okay… confidence, Fluttershy. You belong here. You earned your place here with all of your friends. Every single pony in Equestria is going to look up to you and-oh Goddess I can’t do this…” She whirled suddenly and tried to escape, but froze in her tracks at the sound of the doors opening behind her.
“Fluttershy, I’ve been expecting you.” A kindly older mare’s voice spoke from behind her.
“Mayor Mare?” Fluttershy turned with a pleased smile.
“Care Mare. Ponyville doesn’t have a mayor anymore.” Care Mare smiled. “Twilight hired me on as a royal advisor, and I thought you could use some company. Won’t you come in and take your throne?”
“Well, as long as I have a good friend along to teach me how to do things, sure…” Fluttershy blushed and stepped inside past Care Mare, who closed the door behind them before following her to the throne room.
“Anything you need, you need only ask, and I’ll do what I can.”
“Thank you, so much.” Fluttershy pushed herself onto her throne, where Angel leapt off of her shoulder to the arm of the chair, glanced over at Spike’s empty seat, then turned to kick Fluttershy’s hoof in irritation. “Oh, I’m sorry Angel. I don’t know why the seed made a seat for Spike and not you. I guess it must have been an accident.”
Angel huffed and dramatically clutched his chest, falling to his back on the arm of her throne.
“Oh you’ll be fine, I prefer to have you sitting with me anyway.” Fluttershy pulled her bunny friend into her lap with a smile, where he seemed to relax a bit into her embrace.
With her little friend settled in, Fluttershy turned to Care Mare. “Um, I was just wondering, what exactly are my responsibilities here?”
Care Mare tapped a hoof on the floor as she counted them off. “Keeping an eye on the peace of Equestria, hearing any complaints that come in, dispensing advice to ponies who are confused on matters of friendship, and passing new laws in times when we’re in dire need of one.”
“Oh gosh, that’s more than I thought,” Fluttershy whimpered.
Care Mare smiled reassuringly. “I know you’ll be able to handle it, Fluttershy. And if you need help, I’ll be right here by your side all day.”
“Oh, thank you so much…” Fluttershy smiled, then jumped at the sound of hooves clopping on the ground outside the castle.
“It’s probably your first visit of the day. Please wait here and I’ll get it for you.” Care Mare turned to head toward the front of the castle, leaving Fluttershy sitting on her throne with Angel in her lap.
“Maybe this won’t be so bad after all, Angel…” Fluttershy giggled softly. “I wonder who has come to visit us…”
A few moments later Care Mare emerged back into the living room with a soft cough. “It seems a protestor has taken up position outside the castle.”
“A protestor? What are they protesting?”
“I don’t know, but you can’t take such things lying down. You should go deal with this personally, to show the ponies of Ponyville that you’re willing to take charge of a situation.”
Fluttershy lowered her head. “B-but I’m really not…”
Care Mare straightened up as her tone hardened. “Fluttershy, you’re an acting princess. You should behave like one.”
“Maybe I could go upstairs and get Twilight.”
“Fluttershy! Go outside and take charge! Right now!”
“Oh, okay… if you say so…” Fluttershy slinked out of her throne and made her way toward the front doors under Care Mare’s piercing glare.
The doors of the palace creaked open just enough for Fluttershy to peer through. There was a lone pony marching back and forth to a crowd that didn’t exist. It was very early in the morning to be trying to make a scene; most ponies were still asleep at this hour, or at least eating breakfast. Still, Fluttershy supposed she had to admire the pony’s dedication to whatever cause had brought her here.
Seeing that there wasn’t a big crowd, Fluttershy nudged the door the rest of the way open to get a good look at the protestor, a mare with a deep yellow coat and a streaked aqua-colored mane. In fact, now that she got a good look at her, Fluttershy recognized one of her best friends from outside her circle of six.
“Mane Cureall?”Fluttershy stepped outside.
Ponyville’s resident, and most experienced, veterinarian whirled back to her with a look of surprise on her face, then held up her sign. “Fluttershy! I’m angry and I need to be heard!”
“Oh, okay. I’m listening.” Fluttershy nodded.
“You are? Just like that?”
“Um, yes. In fact if you’d like you can come in and tell me what’s bothering you. You don’t need to walk around out here.”
“Oh…” Mane Cureall rubbed the back of her neck. “But I spent most of yesterday making this sign and all.”
“Oh gosh, I’m sorry. You can protest a little more if you’d like, then you can come in and we can talk about what’s bothering you.”
“That would be swell, thanks. I’ll be about an hour.”
“Take your time, please.” Fluttershy smiled warmly and turned to head back inside, approaching her throne again just past Care Mare. “She’ll be in when she’s ready.”
She just barely heard the sound of hoof meeting forehead.
___
Fluttershy eyed her guest curiously as she entered the throne room, glancing around at the large sloped walls glittering in the light that shone in through the many windows high above. A soft whistle of appreciation echoed through the room as she approached Fluttershy’s throne.
“I’ve never really been in here before. It’s amazing on the inside…”
“Thank you, we’re really proud of it.” Fluttershy smiled. “So, um, what are you angry about, Mane Cureall?”
Mane Curealll huffed and approached Fluttershy’s throne. “Ponyville! The place is full of insensitive ponies!”
“Insensetive? Oh my…what do you mean?”
“Ever since you six came on this here throne with your pets ponies all over Ponyville have been getting pets of their own just because you all have ‘em! But they haven’t the foggiest idea how to take care of them! Those pets are being neglected and abused and I haven’t seen anypony doing anything about it!”
“Neglected pets!?”Fluttershy gasped. “Oh my gosh! I never knew! Are you sure?”
“Of course I’m sure! I’ve been a veterinarian for twenty-five years! It’s my life’s passion! I know neglected animals when I see them, and because of you there’s more of them than ever!”
“N-now I don’t think that’s fair…” Fluttershy blushed. “I mean, we take care of our pets, we most certainly don’t do anything to neglect them. Do we Angel?”
Her little rabbit friend shook his head furiously in agreement.
“But it’s your responsibility to make sure your actions don’t result in harm to the animals, but that’s exactly what’s happening! How did nopony in this palace notice before? Is Princess Twilight Sparkle just that lazy and self-absorbed?”
Fluttershy gasped. "Of course Twilight is not lazy or self-absorbed! Twilight Sparkle cares about all-”
Fluttershy trailed off at the sound of hooves clopping through the palace toward the throne room. Fluttershy and Mane Cureall turned to watch as Twilight appeared in the rear entrance with a tired smile on her lips, a mane full of tangles, and her eyes half-closed.
“Don’t mind me…” Twilight yawned on her way through the throne room toward the front hallway, where she disappeared into the palace kitchen. It was only a few moments later when she reappeared again with a steaming mug floating in the air in front of her. “Coffee. Mmmmh.” Twilight flashed them another smile before taking a sip from the mug on her way into the back.
Fluttershy blushed at Mane Cureall’s next glare. “It… it’s her day off.”
“Fluttershy, we need to do something about this. We need tougher laws so that ponies can’t just buy a pet they’re not prepared to take care of and let it get hurt.”
“Well, I’m always looking for ways to make things better for my animal friends…” Fluttershy nodded. “Okay, I’m sure if we work together, we can come up with something.”
“Now we’re talking!” Mane Cureall planted herself on the floor in front of her with a bright grin.
“Are you sure about this, Fluttershy?” Care Mare spoke up from her position beside the throne. “Making new laws to punish ponies should never be taken lightly.”
“You told me to take charge, and… and Mane Cureall’s right. We need to make sure our pets and friends are well taken care of. Neglecting a pet is one of the worst things you can do to them.” Fluttershy nodded. “Let’s do it. We can’t let those poor animals suffer because we didn’t want to do anything after all… just some teeny ones to make sure they’re well taken care of…”
“That’s the spirit!” Mane Cureall grinned. “First we need a new law that ponies can’t do mean things to their animals outright! I mean honestly, how does that not exist yet…?”
___
“Go long, Winona!” Applejack whirled a long branch in her tail, holding it firmly in the loop at the end of her short lasso. With a quick flick of her tail the rope loosened and sent the long stick sailing through the air.
Winona barked and took off after the branch with her tail wagging furiously behind her.
“That was quite a throw.” The gruff voice of an Earth Pony royal guard moved up beside her with a kind smile. “She seems like a fine pet.”
“Best pet a filly could ask for.” Applejack peered at him curiously. “Um, no offense, but there ain’t usually a lot of guards wandering around Ponyville.”
“Oh, don’t mind me, I’m just monitoring the town at the behest of Princess Fluttershy. There are some new laws in place we need to look into.”
“New laws huh? That’s strange, I didn’t think Fluttershy would do something like that on the first day. Must’ve been about something pretty important.”
“I should say so.” The guard nodded sternly. His stern demeanor faded however as Winona returned with the stick between her jaws, her tail wagging happily behind her.
“Good girl, Winona!” Applejack grinned and grabbed the branch from her mouth with one hoof. “You wanna go again? I bet you do!”
“Wait!” The guard plucked the stick from her hoof to peer at it suspiciously.
Applejack cocked her head curiously. “Is something wrong, officer?”
“This branch is dangerous!” The guard held up the branch.
“It… uh… is?”
“Look at these thorns! If that dog licked it the wrong way one of these thorns could scratch up her tongue and make her unable to eat for days!”
Applejack gasped. “Oh my gosh! I never thought of that!” Applejack took the branch from him to peer at it worriedly. “I reckon you’re right, I’m sorry girl.” Applejack ran a hoof over her head. “We’ll go find you a nice safe branch and-“ Her words were cut off when a piece of metal slapped around her forehoof. “What in tarnation!?”
“I’m sorry miss, putting animals in danger like this for your own amusement is against the law! You’re coming with me!”
“Against the law? But I just didn’t know! I promise from now on I’ll be more careful!”
“Ignorance is no excuse! You’re coming with me!” The guard clapped the other cuff on the startled filly and turned to lead her toward the jailhouse tugging the chains behind him like a leash.
Applejack gulped. “Oh boy… this ain’t gonna go well at all…”
___
“Go long, Tank!” Rainbow Dash spun through the air with her pet tortoise clutched in her forehooves, holding him tightly in her spin before suddenly launching him through the air like a whirling disc. The bare shell whirled through the air rapidly on its way to the ground, but suddenly the contraption attached to its back sprang to life with a glint of magic, and a propeller popped out of the top to halt the creature’s rapid descent a few feet from the ground.
“Aw yeah!” Rainbow Dash streaked up to her pet as his head slowly emerged from the hollow depths of his shell. “I think that was our best distance yet! Way to go, buddy!” Rainbow lightly clapped her hoof against her pet’s slowly emerging foot.
“Halt, criminal scum!” Rainbow Dash blinked and looked down as a unicorn dressed in royal body armor trotted up underneath them. “How dare you mistreat that poor creature!?”
“Mistreat? Come on, he likes it!” Rainbow patted his shell.
“Turtles are not meant to fly!”
“He’s a tortoise!”
“They’re not meant to fly either!” The guard pointed to the ground. “Come down here, now!”
Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes. “Or what, are you gonna come up here and get me?”
The guard narrowed his eyes as his horn glowed. Suddenly Rainbow found herself being dragged down toward the ground by a set of hoofcuffs attached to her forehooves.
“Hey! Let me go!” Rainbow grunted and struggled. “I didn’t do anything wrong!”
“Encouraging innocent animals to do things that are dangerous or unnatural is against the law as of today!” The guard looked up, suddenly dragging the tortoise toward the ground where the machine on his back lifted from the top of his shell.
“Let go of me you jerk!” Rainbow tried to get away, but found herself soon pinned to the grass by the girth of the guard on top of her. “Gak! Tank! You have to go get help! Quickly!”
Tank gasped a slow puff of air and turned to run as fast as his legs could carry him, waddling across the ground at a pace fit for a sleepy sloth.
“That’s right little guy! Go be free! Like you should be!” The guard encouraged him before turning back to Rainbow. “As for you! You’re coming with me!”
Rainbow Dash sighed after her pet on his panicked several hour trek back toward Ponyville. “Just get it over with…”
___
“Lyra!” Rarity called into the back of Carousel Boutique. “Lyra, please come here! I need your assistance, darling!”
“I’m coming, Your Highness!” Lyra Heartstrings trotted out of the back of Carousel Boutique, approaching Rarity with Bon-Bon by her side. “What can we do for you?”
Rarity gestured grandly to the bathroom beside her, whose door was occupied by her faithful furry friend, Opalescence. “Opal is in need of a bath! I’d like you to give it to her.”
“A bath?”Lyra glanced down at the cat, who was glowering back with a deep, threatening growl. “Um… are you sure we can’t just spray her with a hose?”
Rarity waved her hoof. “Come now, you’re not going to disobey a royal request are you?”
Lyra stared at her for a moment, then turned her panicked eyes on Bon-Bon.
“You heard the lady.” Bon-Bon nudged her forward. “This is your job.”
“Right… it’s just a bath.” Lyra forced a grin as she approached Opalescence, gently lifting her into one hoof to carry her into the bathroom. “There’s a good kitty… it’ll be nice, and warm, and soothing…”
Rarity sighed wistfully. “I can’t tell you how grateful I am for your assistance lately, Bon-Bon. I feel like a tremendous weight has just been lifted off of my shoulders.”
“Think nothing of it Rarity, we’re happy to help.” Bon-Bon smiled as the sound of bathwater running emanated form the next room.
“Still you’ve been so helpful I feel I really must do something for you…”
“Really, it’s-"
“Aaaaargh!” Bon-Bon’s eyes darted to the bathroom where the sound of wailing and hissing could be heard. “Oh Goddess! No! Aaaahhhhh!”
“Oh hush now darling, surely you’ve earned something nice… aha!” Rarity clapped her hooves together. “What would you say to me making you both some complimentary dresses?”
“That sounds very generous of you but-" Bon-Bon hesitated again at the sound of wailing from the bathroom.
“Wait, please, no more, no mobbblugbbhglbubh!” Lyra’s voice faded away, replaced by faint burbling noises.
“But nothing! I insist!” Rarity grinned. “I’ll get started on them at the earliest opportunity!”
“Well… um… thank you, Rarity. We really appreciate it.” Bon-Bon’s nervous grin faded when a sopping wet green pony flopped onto the floor between them from the bathroom.
Rarity and Bon-Bon stared down at Lyra curiously as the green unicorn lifted herself up slowly on her forehooves, trying to pull herself upright. Her eyes went wide as her hooves began to grind against the floor, being pulled slowly back into the bathroom and out of sight once again.
“Do remember to wash behind her tail.” Rarity called after her.
“Aaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh!”
“What is going on in here?” The gruff sound of a royal guard’s voice interrupted as a burly-looking Pegasus guard approached with a sharp look in his eye.
Rarity whirled on him with a smile. “Oh! My goodness, I didn’t even hear the door open! Welcome to Carousel Boutique, where every outfit is-“
“AAAAHHHHHH!”
The guard rushed to peek inside the bathroom. “By the Goddess! What are you doing!?”
“Oh, she’s just giving my precious cat a bath.”
“You don’t treat cats that way! Forcing animals to do things against their will is against the law!”
“It… what?” Rarity gasped as a pair of hoofcuffs were slapped onto her hooves, with another smaller cover on her horn. “Hey! What are you doing!? Do you know who I am!?”
“Silence, criminal scum!” the guard forced her onto the ground. “You have the right to remain silent, anything you say can and will-“
Lyra slammed into the floor in front of them suddenly, crawling up toward them. “Arrest me, please…”
“Oh, you’re all under arrest! This is practically a conspiracy!”
“Oh thank Goddess…” Lyra crawled up to the guard and nestled into his side, turning to look fearfully back toward the bathroom.
Bon-Bon rolled her eyes. “Seriously Lyra, how many times are you going to get us arrested…?”
Rarity grunted and stuggled against her cuffs. “You can’t do this to a princess! Unhoof me this instant! Or I shall-"
___
“-have you locked in a dungeon and have the key ingested by a wild badger!” Rarity banged her hooves against the bars of her cell as the guards walked away. “Are you listening to me!?”
“So what brings you three in here?” Applejack asked lazily from the back of the cell.
“Hmph, that guard has a problem with feline hygiene!” Rarity exclaimed.
“I got mauled by a cat…” Lyra groaned.
Applejack cocked her head. “And you got arrested for that?”
“Uh-huh…”
Rainbow Dash stepped forward from the side of the cell and shook her head. “This is ridiculous! Whatever these new laws are that Fluttershy is passing, they’re going to get everypony in trouble!”
Rarity stamped her hoof on the ground. “I agree! I have never been so insulted and disgusted in all my life!”
“Yeah! We need to break out of here!” Pinkie Pie screamed shrilly from the back of the cell.
“Gyah!” Applejack whirled in surprise. “Pinkie Pie!? Oh for goodness’ sakes, not you too! What are you in for?”
“For killing a pony! So don’t you come near me! I know how prison works!” Pinkie Pie growled menacingly.
“I… wouldn’t dream of it, sugarcube.” Applejack backed away slowly.
“We’re not in prison, we’re in jail, there’s a difference.” Rarity rolled her eyes. “I do agree though, we must get out of here. I’m certain if we could reach Fluttershy we could get her to repeal all of these laws and set things back to normal.”
“Yeah! So use your magic and get us out of here, Rarity! Bend the bars or something!”
“Pardon me?” Rarity huffed. “For one thing, I am not your slave and I do not obey commands! For another, they obviously will make the bars of a jail magic-resistant, and who knows what it will do to me if I even tried it? It could wipe out my mind, suppress my magic forever, or all kinds of horrible things!” She blinked for a moment, tapping her hoof against her chin. “Lyra, be a dear and try to open the door for us.”
Lyra blinked. “Do what now?”
“It would mean ever so much to us.” Rarity smiled cutely.
“Er…” Lyra looked up at her then shot her panicked gaze over to Bon-Bon.
Bon-Bon grunted. “You heard Her Highness. I’m sure you can do it.”
Lyra gulped and turned toward the bars, taking a deep breath. “Okay Lyra, just click the lock open, how hard can it be…?” She narrowed her eyes at the cage door, her horn beginning to glow.
The magical aura began to cover the door lock… but then Lyra’s horn popped off.
“What…!?” Rarity reared back.
“What the hay!?” Applejack echoed.
“Lyra! Are you okay!?” Bon-Bon rushed up to her as the horn rolled further away across the ground. “Say something.”
“… AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!”Lyra screamed and charged forward past her, snatching her horn off the floor and holding it in her hooves like a child. “AAAAAHHHHHH!AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!”
Rarity cleared her throat and rubbed her own horn as if to make sure it was still there. “Well… do we have a plan B?”
“Uh… wait for Princess Twilight to notice what’s happening and not get any other body parts popped off?” Bon-Bon suggested.
“I second the motion.” Rarity raised her hoof.
“Pfft, cowards…” Rainbow Dash muttered under her breath, though she held her wings a bit tighter around her body for a moment.
Applejack rubbed the back of her neck. “Yeah, I s’pose you’re right. It’s just a matter of time before everything gets set right. How much damage can these laws do in one day?”
___
Fluttershy wiped at her forehead with a small washcloth as she stared down at the small stack of papers between herself and Mane Cureall. “Gosh, I never knew ponies were allowed to do so many terrible things to their animal friends! It’s really quite shocking!”
Mane Cureall huffed, “tell me about it! I’m glad we finally have a princess like you, who genuinely cares about non-ponies, in some sort of power. I’m sure we’re going to make the world a much better place now.”
“Gosh, that would be lovely.” Fluttershy smiled. “For now I think we’re all getting a little hungry, though.” She giggled and plucked Angel off the floor, where he was lying on the ground, clutching at his throat and making exaggerated gagging noises. “Maybe we should break and get some… oh my, supper? Has it gotten so late already?”
"Heh, time flies when you're making the world a better place." Mane Cureall stretched her hooves over her head with a satisfied groan. "Alright, I could use a break myself. There's a little place just down the road I love."
"That sounds lovely. Come on, Angel. Let's go get something yummy to eat." With a kind smile Fluttershy laid her bunny friend on her back and turned to head outside with Mane Cureall.
The sun was just going down, and the streets were rather empty... very empty, Fluttershy noted with a curious gaze. So empty she could see the other end of town just by glancing down the main roadway that led away from their tree palace.
Fluttershy tugged lightly on her friend's tail. "Um, Mane Cureall, is it me or are the streets a little bit... empty?"
"Hmm... maybe a little, but it is getting late. Maybe-" Mane Cureall drifted off at the sound of approaching hoofsteps.
"Halt!" A unicorn stalllion galloped quickly up to them, skidding to a halt and fixing them with a death glare. "You're both under arrest!"
"Under arrest!?" Mane Cureall blinked in surprise. "For what!? Walking outside!?"
"For starving that poor, innocent creature!" The guard jerked his hoof toward Angel, who was still sprawled out on Fluttershy's back and groaning in hunger.
Fluttershy gasped. "Oh, no no, we're not starving him I promise! We're going to get him some dinner right now!"
The guard narrowed his eyes. "Tell it to the princess, criminal scum!"
"But I am-"
___
"-The princess..." Fluttershy pressed her hooves against the bars of her cell as the guard turned to march callously away from them.
"Well, this is a bit of a pickle, isn't it?" Mane Cureall shook her head angrily. "He can't arrest us, we're the ones who are trying to help the animals!"
"Yeah well good job." Rarity mumbled from the next cell over. "Now my poor darling Opalescence isn't going to get her cat food tonight!"
"Rarity!?" Fluttershy whirled to look into the next cell, seeing almost all of her friends sitting around leaning against the bars. "Oh my goodness! Girls, what are you doing in here?"
"The same thing you are, I reckon." Applejack smirked. "Also the same thing they all are." Applejack pointed her hoof toward the other side of Fluttershy's cell.
Fluttershy looked back curiously, then squeaked in shock when she saw rows and rows of cells filled with angry-looking ponies, all glaring right at her. She hadn't been met with this much disapproval since flight school.
"Um... um..." Fluttershy sank into a sea of blushes and stammering, speaking in a soft, barely audible whisper, "hello, everypony..."
"What are you all glaring at?" Mane Cureall stepped in front of Fluttershy. "You're all here because none of you know how to take care of your pets! If you had any good sense, or even a heart that wasn't full of your own selfishness, you wouldn't be in here!"
"Hey now, I don't think that's fair..." Fluttershy stepped between her and the large group of ponies. "My friends are good ponies..."
Mane Cureall glared back. "If that were true they wouldn't mistreat and neglect their pets! They would take the proper care of them, instead of treating them like things to be purchased just because a couple of princesses do without even looking up how to take care of them! That's just cruel, and they should all be ashamed!"
"Maybe they made a mistake..." Fluttershy trailed off for a moment, then looked up at Mane with a sad look in her eye. "But did you ever correct them?"
"What!?"
"You're right..." Fluttershy approached the side of the cell toward the townsponies, who looked shocked and hurt by the accusations. "Maybe a lot of these ponies don't know how to take care of their pets... but instead of educating them and teaching them, you held it over them, and tried to get them punished just for not knowing as much as you do." Fluttershy took a deep breath and whirled on Mane Cureall now. "You have the knowledge and education to make things better for everypony, and instead of using it to make things better, you used it to make things worse. And I went along with you..." She hung her head. "I'm a terrible princess..."
"Fluttershy, it's not like that, I mean..." Mane Cureall trailed off slowly.
Rarity spoke from her cell. "Fluttershy, darling, you're not a terrible princess..."
"Of course I am..." Fluttershy turned back toward the townsponies. "I'm sorry everypony... I promise not to take the throne again..."
"I think we're going to need to talk about that before you say it." Twilight's voice cut through the silence as she approached the cells flanked on either side by the royal guards. "Please let them all out, I'm exonerating them all of their crimes against the animals."
"Yeah! finally!" Rainbow Dash darted out of her cell the instant it was opened, along with all of the other ponies.
"Oh... oh crap!" Lyra squealed in excitement when her horn reappeared on her forehead with the opening of the cell door. "I'm healed! It's a miracle! I'm healed!" Lyra charged for the exit, and immediately embedded her horn in the concrete wall beside the stairs with a cringe-inducing crack.
Bon-Bon approached her with a sigh. "Well, you WILL heal, anyway..."
Fluttershy approached Twilight demurely. "I'm sorry I made a mess of things Twilight, I thought I was doing the right thing..."
"I have no doubt you had only the best intentions Fluttershy." Twilight smiled and patted her shoulder with one hoof. "We'll discuss this with Spike and our journal..."
The other ponies jumped when the cell clanged shut, leaving only Pinkie Pie inside.
"What are you doing?" Twilight approached the guards. "I told you to let out everypony accused of crimes against animals."
The guard turned toward her. "She's not in there for crimes against animals."
Applejack hesitated. "Then... what is she in there for?"
Pinkie Pie grinned with a nervous squeak. "Won't you let me out? I made cupcakes..."
___
"Dear diary. I learned today that sometimes it can be really frustrating to realize that others don't see what you can see." Fluttershy approached the window of the high palace tower, where she could watch Mane Cureall standing by the road handing out a small pile of pamphlets. "Maybe you think you're right... and maybe you really are right, but that doesn't make it right for you to pass judgment on others. It's far better to inform them, and tell them what you feel like they could do better, using your knowledge to make the world a better place."
"I couldn't agree more." Twilight threw a comforting hoof around her friend's shoulders with a wink. "I think you had a big day today... and I think next week might be even bigger."
"Oh gosh, Twilight, I don't know if I can..."
"I do." Twilight smiled warmly. "Just trust yourself and use your own knowledge. Right?"
Fluttershy smiled with a soft blush. "Okay, Twilight... I'll do my best... for you..."
to Be Continued
Author's Note
I know people are going to do it, so please don't take Pinkie's seeming murder too seriously. It's just a joke, and Pinkie Pie would never really chop a pony into bits and bake her into a round of delicious mouthwatering cupcakes.
Also yes, I am aware that the quotation marks randomly change font halfway through the story. For some reason loading the same copy of Word on a new computer and using the same font as before has resulted in the quotation marks changing shape. I don't get it either.
