To love nothing.

by Saint-mercy

Rating: everyone
Tags: Dark, Sad, Original Character, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 1066

You won't understand, you can't understand. Your mind cannot comprehend the love I have. It outmatched all love, nothing can rival my love, nothing can make my trust falter, I will always love-

You won't understand, you can't understand. Your mind cannot comprehend the love I have. It outmatched all love, nothing can rival my love, nothing can make my trust falter, I will always love-

Published 2014-05-19 17:30:02 UTC
Last updated 2014-05-19 17:30:02 UTC

Nothing

Hello, this may not make any sense to you, but it doesn't need to. I stand here alone in my room, but am I truly alone? Does this brown stallion ever truly feel alone? As I stare at the white walls that surround me, my heart is filled with glee. I am happy, but why? I'm in a small blank and boring room. Normal ponies would be panicked by the lack of decorations, or even the lack of space.

Anxiety could kick into them and the walls would close in on their frail bodies. Their skin could start to itch furiously, eyes dart around the room, searching for any difference, but their eyes will find nothing, just blank white walls. Beautiful, pristine walls.

It's lovely isn't it? The simplicity of it all. If only life could be this way, everything just the same, no difference, all equal. It would be beautiful. Yet, other ponies would hate it.

I look at the blank white page and see nothing. Nothing, it feels me with glee, nothing to pass judgement on, nothing to hate or have any opinion in the matter. Just equality. I love it all.

Other ponies could see the page and have a mixture of emotions for it.

Inspiration, rage, emptiness. Many different reactions all based on the pony. All unique, all different.

I hate difference, why can't everything be the same, why can't everything be equal? Unique, it tastes bitter on my tongue and it corrupts my mind, I dislike it.

Unlike nothing, oh sweet bland nothingness. The best feeling is when I wake up every day and get to see the same white ceiling as always. Such a happy feeling.

I remember the days I didn't have my white room, oh it was horrible. The room was filled with decorations and colorful paintings. It hurt my eyes to watch the colors all blend and melt away into one another. It was a nightmare. My only escape was when I closed my eyes.

The dark and unchanging scenery that were my eyelids. Sometimes closing my eyes were better than the white walls. There is this one part of the wall that I dislike. Sometimes I can see passing ponies wearing their white robes. At least their shirts are white, bit other than that they are different. Worst of all their shirts don't even cover their cutie marks.

Ugh, cutie marks, the bane of my existence. Cutie marks, mark the unique quality that each pony has, the quality they have alone and no other may have. Never the same, always different. It fills me with an emotion, the emotion exactly doesn't matter, the point is that it makes me feel something different, something that I have never experienced so it upsets my normality.

Sometimes...when I think about it..it-it...I-I..I don't know.

I wish I could stay in here forever, but I can't. Sometimes I have to go to the shower and bathe myself, of course I never use any kind of soap, I just scrub my self clean with the scrubber. Yeah, ponies think using no soap is unhygenic, but if it means I won't smell like the soap I'm fine, I hate when I smell like...well anything that's not myself.

Other than showering I don't go outside of my white home, my food is given to me daily and on time. Which I love, every day at nine in the morning, two in the afternoon, and 8 at night I get the sane meal, the same bland grey oatmeal. I love how I taste nothing as it comes across my tongue and slides down my throat. Just perfect.

These small things in life fill me with happiness. The small normal and timed out things, whether it the food, the times I blink and see nothing, or be it my sleep. Oh-

I haven't gone over my dreams yet have I? Ahhh those are the best. The nights when I rest my head on my soft white pillow, and lay my body down onto the blank white sheets that is my bed. Those are the best.

When I close my eyes I am greeted with nothing but darkness, and the beautiful part is that it stays that way! For eight hours, a solid eight hours of uninterrupted slumber, no dreams, no images, just the same black space, the same black nothing that is my eyelids.

Sleep, the best part in my life. Usually ponies dream about rainbows and friends, while I dream about nothing...oh the sweetness that is nothing.

I love nothing so very much. It comes to me so easily, and it can always be found when I need it, all I have to do is close my eyes and nothing is always there for me. It holds me in it's non-existing grip, it comforts me in it's everlasting darkness. The beauty of it is all too great. I love nothing.

Nothing, nothing, nothing. The words give me such an amazing feeling. It fills me with nothing! No...that wasn't right was it. Nothing fills me with happiness. It doesn't make sense, even to me, even to the pony that has spent his life in nothing more than any other pony. Even the lunar princess hasn't experienced nothing like I have.

Even with her one thousand years on the moon alone has she never felt nothing like me! Nopony could ever feel nothing like me. That's why nopony will understand my love for nothing.

The bond me and nothing share is to great, it is too powerful to be separated by anything, by something. If you are listening to me nothing. Know that you and I will always be together, you and I will always have one another. Anything can't tear us apart. I will always love you nothing, and even though I know you can't feel the same way for me it's okay. As long as I love you it is fine, as long as I am as ponily close to being like you it's okay. Nopony will understand it or me.

Nopony will ever understand that all I have ever wanted to be was nothing.

Author's Note

Computer is sort of working, bad wifi here but at least I got some wifi, I won't be nearly as active as I used to be, but I will still sort of be here.