Deus Ex: Cosplay Revolution

A man named Jack once told me dreams were the mind making sense of what happened in the day. That when you crept into bed or leaned your head back in a seat it was that impetus in the meat inside your skull to go through past events and look at them again.

I never dreamed lucid, and I never remembered dreams, so I had no idea how true that was. I could remember an odd moon in the sky, one with a face in it, but that was about it.

Man, I'd give anything to be back home. Hanging out with Waldo, making bad jokes, having a good time. None of this shadows and secrets and conspiracy, just a ride down the street in my truck, a beer shared between friends, and a hopeful outlook that we'd get through life okay.

Not to say Equestria was treating me badly. It was, but that wasn't any fault of the inhabitants. Hell, this place was probably paradise compared to back home, but that was it. It wasn't home. Wasn't my home. And soon as I got this conspiracy business sorted out, and soon as I got an audience with "I" or whatever his name was, and soon as I could find a way out, I'd take it.

Right now, I needed to get to that point, and if getting to that point meant paying attention to the mare named Shade looking at me with an emotionless face, then so be it.

"How ya doin'?" she asked.

"I'm good," I say, rubbing my eyes.

"Heard the house got broken into."

"Yeah, it did. Got the one who did it."

"Good. You were asleep when I walked in. I got the papers signed for you to come with me. Police are still investigating the house. We're gonna have to stay somewhere else until they're done. That alright with you?"

I chuckled. "Sure. Didn't even have time to figure out how the shower worked, but alright."

An actual, genuine laugh. No witty response from either one of us, just laughter. Might've gotten odd looks from the others in the precinct, but whatever.

She stopped laughing for a moment. I stood up. "So, sleeping in a motel?"

"Yep."

"Alright," I shrug. Then we both walk out of the station, a clock somewhere striking midnight.

"We're here," Shade says.

I'm silent. The motel, hotel, whatever, is simple. I'm in no mood to complain, barely paying any attention. Shade gets the reservations, drags me over to the stairs, makes me walk up, opens the door, and we both walk in.

There are two beds, thank god. I push past Shade and throw myself onto the one creaky springs. Nowhere near as comfy as even the couch at Shade's but it was a bed nonetheless.

"Hey, don't hit the sack too soon. I got something to show you."

I want to think of something witty but the fatigue creeping over me just cements the fact that I'm tired as fuck. "Whaaaaat?"

She doesn't respond, instead rolling me onto my side. Y'know, i never appreciated just how busty she was, but now I did. Not because she was naked or anything, but from perspective. Thank god I wasn't a furry.

The other thing I notice is the thermos-sized glowing blue tube in her hoof, one that I recognize.

"You know what this is?" she asks.

"Of course. Only reason I snuck up on that bitch in the castle was because of a can another agent gave me."

She cocks an eyebrow. "Really?"

"Yeah, really. what's in this can?"

"I'll tell you as soon as you tell me everything that happened at the house. And by everything, I mean everything."

Deja vu.

"-and that's how I learned that just about everyone of importance in the government, police, and military are actually infiltrators."

Shade is silent for a moment. "He didn't tell me it was this bad..."

I scoff. "Oh? He already knew about this? Let me guess, he couldn't act on it because let me guess this is just another conspiracy."

Shade nods. "I'm going to have to agree with you on that. We aren't as bad as these changelings, but what we do is for the safety of Equestria."

I close my eyes. "But are you really doing a good job of it if you couldn't root out something like this? Insofar, I've been doing all the dirty work, and I don't like it."

My... partner, I guess, sighs. "We're understaffed and we can't operate openly. Ponies wouldn't react too well to knowing there's been a conspiracy under their noses, no matter how much good it's done."

I groan. "Conspiracies never saved anyone. If given the choice between absolute security, absolute privacy, or the ability to start again, which would you choose?"

"Is there a middle ground between the first two?"

"No, not in the question, but there is in reality. But right now, tell me, which would you choose?"

"Absolute security. Keeping ponies safe is my job."

I chuckle. "If you have to choose between absolute security or privacy, I'd say you're better off starting over from square one and seeing how you can avoid either extreme."

She leans back in her chair, obviously in no mood to continue the conversation on privacy and security. "What time is it?"

"I dunno," I grunt, rolling onto my side and looking at the clock. "Like, one o'clock."

"You want that canister?"

That reminds me... "Sure. What's on it?"

She turns it over and looks at the display. "Cloak and Sensor Transparency."

What? "Say again?"

"Cloak and Sensor Transparency."

This was sounding a lot more like Deus Ex by the moment. "Hand it over. I'll decide in the morning."

She hands me the can. I set it on the bedside table, stand up, and take off my shoes and shirt. Wasn't gonna bother stripping to my underwear, that'd just cause a ruckus I wouldn't want, but Shade still stops me.

"W-Why do you have nipples?" she asks, hoof pointing to my chest

I stare at her, then at the offending body parts "I... don't know. Honestly, they're just there."

"You still have nipples."

Sweet Jesus Christ, I know. "I'm going to sleep. Don't ask me about nipples."

Before she can respond, I throw the sheets off the bed and bury myself. Soon enough, I'm drifting off to sleep.