Discord meets Discord and Discord

by Fizzy Orange

Rating: everyone
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Random, Discord
Length: 1691

A petrified Discord contacts his other self from the multiverse and they try to come together in a meaningful way. It goes as well as you'd think.

Discord lost. He was once again turned to stone by the Elements of Harmony and returned to Celestia's little garden. With nothing much to do but wait, he lets his mind wander into the limbo between universes. From there he contacts other Discords in a similar predicament and together they come to a brilliant idea: Ally themselves together and overcome their respective foes!

Today is the day (in a manner of speaking) they organize this alliance.

It all goes as well as you would imagine.

WARNING: Extremely random, nonsensical and confusing.

Published 2014-05-20 02:40:05 UTC
Last updated 2015-07-20 01:58:45 UTC

A what of what?

Petrification doesn’t let one do much aside from letting his mind wander, trying to find amusement in the farthest recess of one’s imagination. Luckily for Discord, his imagination was unbridled and nearly limitless, and by letting his mind wander he managed to find the way to the limbo between dimensions.

It didn’t take long for Discord to contact Discord and Discord, who then went on to contact some more Discords and soon they had a party going! Thus it was that in the white colorful void in the middle of everywhen that π(√2) Discords found themselves sitting at every corner of a round table to discuss a potential alliance.

“Order! Order!” called Discord, trying to cut over the general chatter while his gavel meowed on the table, “I call to order the first meeting of the Order of Discords! Today we come together to decide how to foil those pesky prancing ponies and their petrifying pendants, the Elements of Harmony.”

“Order? But we’re DISCORD! The Spirit of Chaos! You can’t ask us, or yourself, to keep in order!” said Discord, his complaint getting murmurs of approval from Discord and Discord.

“We do have to show some semblance of civility if you want to have a meaningful conversation,” pointed Discord, getting a nod of approval from Discord.

“Also Order of Discords seems a bit overblown don’t you think? We’re not some sort of legacy monastic group,” pointed out Discord.

“Maybe we could go for something with a bit of assonance and call ourselves the Quorum of Discords?” proposed Discord.

Discord shook his head. “Too pompous, what kind of self-aggrandizing morons call themselves the ‘Quorum of whatever’?”

“How about ‘Continuum’ then?” suggested Discord.

“It’s been done,” simply said John De Lancie.

Discord stroke his beard, deep in thought. “You know, I always thought of ourselves as more of a League of Discords.”

“Nah, too heroic sounding,” mused Discord.

“Why does it always have to include the name ‘Discord’, that seems awfully sexist!” said Eris in a huff.

Discord pointed behind him at door opposite his chair. “We’re in the majority here, sugarlumps. Go back to your fanon universe if you don’t like it.”

Eris crossed her arm in a huff and looked at Discord next to her who just shrugged. “He’s got a point on the majority thing, but I see no harm in pointing the unfairness of it.”

“Oh, how about Society of Discords? It’s classy and can be both heroic and villainous,” pointed out Discord, ignoring the infuriated Eris who was leaving the triangular table.

“When it comes to villainous names I’ve always been fond of Legions. Legion of Discord has a nice ring to it, don’t you think Discord?” asked Discord.

“I think Discord is right, it’s not a bad pick,” said Discord, nodding.

“Legion sounds a bit organized though,” commented Discord, “not that I don’t like the sound but are we really going to follow a battle plan like little soldiers?”

”See, that’s what you said there!” said Discord, appearing from the future as a ghost and pointing the text on the page.

“So I did, so what?” asked Discord.

“Well then you’re right, we totally could never work together! We’re too chaotic,” answered Discord.

Multiple murmurs of agreement came up from around the table.

”See? Everybody agrees!” pointed out Discord.

“Then you mean this whole meeting was pointless in the first place?” said Discord, looking between the two.

“Well it was a nice distraction,” pointed out Discord, shrugging.

“So what do we do now?” asked Discord.

Discord shrugged.“I guess we end the fanfic.”

“Right in the middle of a previous part? Are you serious? Can we do that?” asked Discord, a bit surprised.

Discord chuckled. “Why not? We’re spirits of CHAOS remember?”

“Good point! So that's it then, see you guys at the next meeting!”

-The End-

Discord was the first to speak up. “Discord’s got a point, maybe we could go for something more wild and uncontrollable?”

“A Herd of Discords?” said Discord, himself unconvinced of his own suggestion.

“Nah, too pony,” every other Discords said at once.

“We could be a Pride of Discords!” then said Discord. “We have some lion in us…somewhere right? At least I think I did,” he said, looking at his arm where his paw was clearly missing.

“Did you know a group of crows is called a ‘Murder’?” said Discord, reading from a book with his face on it.

In the seat next to him, Discord flinched. “Yikes, a bit too brutal don’t you think?”

Discord closed his book and turned it into a glass of orange juice with a straw in it. “Oh I know, I just thought it was interesting. We’re certainly no School of Discords.”

“Do we have fish parts?” asked Discord, stealing Discord’s glass of juice and drinking the red swirl from the straw before giving it back.

“We could if we wanted,” pointed out Discord, swimming in the air in the shape of a fish with his face.

Discord suddenly slammed the table with both forelimbs. “Oh! I got it! How about a Gaggle of Discords!”

“It does have a nice ring to it right?” said Discord, looking around the table.

There were a few nods from others around the table but Discord looked skeptical.

“Do you have a better idea Discord?” asked Discord, noticing that.

After a few seconds of stroking his beard Discord finally shrugged. “Honestly no, so I think it’ll have to do.”

“Good then, I’ll placed an order for matching bowling jacket next blernsday!” declared Discord, clapping his paws together with the sound of cars crashing.

"Oooh! We could get fez! I love fez!" said Discord.

Discord nodded in approval. "Fezes are cool."

"Is that the plural of 'fez'? I thought it was just 'fez'," said Discord, musing outloud.

"Does it matter? Breikang rlz of gramerz an' sppelingk is tottally khaos 2 yano!" pointed out Discord, turning into a badly written text message. "D00d!"

Discord shrugged. "I suppose...It feels a bit beneath us somehow."

Discord cut short the conversation with a pair of scissors and grabed everyone's attention back to him. “Enough pointless platitudes! The first meeting of the Gaggle of Discord finally comes to order! So… anybody got plans?”

“I’m due to escape any days now, so how about you guys show up and we tag-team the ponies?” suggested Discord, raising his petrified right hand.

“That sounds cool, what should we do?” asked Discord.

“Wait!” suddenly declared Discord. “I just realized something!”

“What?” asked Discord.

“This isn’t going to work at all!” said Discord.

“Why would you say that?” replied Discord as Discord and Discord gasped in unison.

Discord slammed his paw on the table with a loud quacking noise “We have to go back a few paragraphs! We overlooked something critical!”

Discord looked puzzled at the suggestion. “You mean right now?”

“Yes, right now! Everybody with me!” declared Discord.

And they all disappeared.

Author's Note

I've set myself the objective of writing at least 1000 words a day.

I didn't promise they would all make sense or be related to my current ongoing projects. Here is something completely stupid I cooked up. I'm pretty sure it's been done because but I thought it was funny.

Discord Discord Discord, Discord Discord!

“So… since we’ve done with this session, why not do a roll call to make sure everybody’s here,” began Discord, pulling a large scroll out of one of his ears.

“I thought we already adjourned the meeting? You know, last chapters? We all scattered too.” commented Discord to his left.

“Since when do we do things in sequential order?” Asked Discord from across the table.

“Ah… touché,” conceded Discord, scratching his chin.

“Good, let’s begin. Discord?”

“Present!” replied Discord, raising a paw.

“Discord?”

“Over here!”

“Discord?”

“Waffles!”

“Discord?”

“YARRR!”

“Not yet Pirate Discord, I’m talking to Discord.”

“Sorry I’m early, I was watching my show!” declared Discord, rushing in.

“Be late next time! Now, Pirate Discord is here… Discord?”

“He’s not here, he’s having tea with Fluttershy,” explained Discord, causing Discord to roll his eyes.

“Tsk… Discord?”

“Present!”

“Eris?”

“Ya.”

“Silent Movie Discord?”

“…”

“Silent Movie Discord?”

“…”

“Anybody seen Silent Movie Discord? He’s easy to spot he’s black and white and wears a bowler hat?” Asked Discord, looking around the space.

Suddenly a black sign appeared in his field of vision, on it, in white, were written the words “I’m here, idiot!”

Silent Movie Discord was standing behind Discord, looking particularly unamused.

“Oh…sorry…moving on… Discord?”

“Yes?”

“Reflection Discord?”

“Shhh! Don’t spoil my secret identity!” complained Captain Goodguy.

“Your disguise is worse than Supermare’s!” mocked Discord.

“Why do I even hang out with you guys?” Captain Goodguy commented, to no one in particular.

“We were wondering the same thing,” added John deLancie.

“Alright, settle down!! Now where was I…Discord?”

“Zoit!”

“Puppet Discord?”

“MEEEP!”

“French dub Discord?”

“Présent!”

“Spanish Discord?”

“Si?”

“Japanese Discord?”

“HAI!”

“British stereotype Discord?”

“Cheer-io old chap! Tea, crumpets, god save the queen and all that sort of things!”

“Quite...Discord?”

“Wait you already asked me!” stated Discord.

“I did?”

“Yes!”

Discord looked at his scroll. “Wait a second… this scroll is a Mobius strip!”

“So should we just keep going?” asked Discord.

Discord considered the Mobius scroll of infinite roll call, before crumbling it into a ball and tossing it over his shoulder, where it exploded to the sound of a screeching cat.

“Nah, I was starting to get bored anyway,” finally answered Discord, shrugging.

There was a general murmur of agreement running over the assembled crowd. Discord grabbed the murmur and ate it, nodding to Discord.

“Let’s get out of here then!” suggested Discord.

“Yeah, that’s enough for one day,” commented Discord.

“How about we go for some fish and chips down at the pub?” said British stereotype Discord.

Discord got up excitedly “We could play some darts too and grab a pint! Yeah!”

Then they all left to enjoy themselves.

Author's Note

Discord Discord Discord? Discord, Discord Discord Discord! Discord, Discord Discord, Discord Discord Discord. Discord.

...Yeah I don't know why I added to this...

Discord!