From the Journal of Inquisitor Miranda Saberland.

by Hey its that Pony

Rating: teen
Tags: Main 6, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Alternate Universe, Human, Other, Original Character, Comedy, Crossover
Length: 2013

Odd rumors have reached the eyes and ears of the Imperium. Inquisitor Miranda Saberland has been sent to investigate. What follows are her logged reports.

Various Imperial forces have gone silent after a single report from a Blood Raven Marine. Inquisitor Saberland has arrived to investigate the strange event and encounters a force unlike any she had faced before.

She now stares into the smile of the madness of friendship.

This was just something I did some time back on a whim. I thought it would be good for a laugh or two. While I don't really have plans to do a lot of writing here I figured I should at least make the effort to add to the galleries if I'm going to be browsing.

Generally silly and full of references.

Published 2014-05-20 05:10:06 UTC
Last updated 2014-05-20 05:10:06 UTC

Miranda's Logs

From the Journal of Inquisitor Miranda Saberland.

I am on call to investigate a strange claim of heresy on Eriquis 3, third planet in a newly discovered system of six.

An Apothecary of the Blood Ravens stationed there has sent reports of his detachment of Space Marines acting strangely. Saying that they appear to be worshiping Xeno Gods, though they are not ones he is familiar with. The most troubling aspect of this is the one title he has provided of these new gods. "The God Empresses." His transmissions ceased soon after. This is most disturbing. For the sake of the Imperium and at potential risk to myself, I will be conducting the investigation alone. If I should fall to this "corruption" whatever its nature, it would be best that I am the only one.

The Emperor Protects.

Day 1

My arrival on Eriquis 3 has been far more startling than I had predicted. I was prepared for defilement of the most vile nature. But what I saw was…

What I encountered of the Blood Ravens was far more colorful. There were no Chaos symbols or shrines. No body parts strewn up in totem macabre fashions. They had painted their armor with new brightly colored symbols that I have not seen before. None of them suggest Chaos forces at work here. Among these markings, ones of suns and moons seem to be the most significant. I was told they are the symbols of the God Empresses, named Celestia and Luna. This itself is certainly heresy and yet, I feel a far more positive energy here than anything I have ever encountered. I fear it may be some form of subtle mind control.

All this is just the first few minutes of what I encountered. Once I could draw my eyes away from the study of the Marines and their strange symbols, I realized that there were Eldar present. Being one of the more reasonable enemies of mankind, temporary alliances with the Eldar are not unheard of. But this was no mere alliance, it was a complete intermingling. The Eldar had decorated themselves and their structures(Which were built right alongside the Space Marine buildings!) with similar or the same symbols as the Marines.

I felt a chill go through me as I saw a group of Eldar Banshees on an Imperial Dreadnought. I have seen such shrieking warriors fall upon an unwary Dreadnought and carve it to pieces in my time, but this was not the case. The entombed warrior was quite alive and actually letting the Banshees paint his armor! I could hear the females giggling of all things! I have never heard an Eldar, female or male, giggle. I could not bring myself to approach this sight, only watch in a mix of fascination and horror.

Every instinct I possess tells me I should give the order for Exterminatus. And yet, I feel an even greater urge to stay and understand what it is I am seeing. Part of my job as an Inquisitor is the acquisition of knowledge and so, I must gain as much as I can about this new force.

Day 5

Yesterday there had been an unexpected spark of hope for this world. I gave no order for it, but a legion of the Angry Marines arrived unannounced and attacked the base.

Despite the disdainful similarities that the Angry Marines posses to worshipers of Khorne, they are among the most zealous and loyal of the Emperors Chosen. They set upon the interwoven settlement with the greatest of frenzies, roaring and shouting the most obscene curses in the Emperors Name.

My hopes for this blight to be swiftly smited were soon dashed however. A group of the renegade Assault Marines had formed a new band of warriors they called "The Raining Bow Vanguard." Most of them had repainted their armor a light blue and attached wings unto their helmets. One of the Vanguard was engaged with the Angry Marines Force Commander and slapped a seal upon the commanders Thunder Hammer. The seal was in the form of a cloud with a multi-colored lightning bolt coming out of it.

The conversation went thusly.

"THE FUCK IS THIS BULLSHIT?!"

"I just made it twenty percent cooler."

"…….HEY! WHERE THE FUCK CAN I GET ME SOME BITCHEN ASS WINGS LIKE THE SHIT ON YOUR HEAD?!"

My heart sank. The rest of the Angry Marines quickly followed suit. I have never seen corruption of any manner take hold so quickly and I would have never expected it to do so to such strong willed servants of the Emperor.

I have needed time to collect myself after this shock. The Angry Marines have fully integrated with the blood Ravens and the Eldar here. They still shout everything in an enraged manner but there is definitely a change in the tone they do it in.

This movement is advancing rapidly. They now have a sizable army but, thankfully, do not seem to have plans to leave the planet yet.

The Eldar Farseer has offered me a new hat. A "Trixie" hat. It is a dark blue color with stars woven into it. I do not know who this "Trixie" is, perhaps some new sub-god, but I believe wearing the hat will keep them from thinking I am against them.

Day 12

The past week has been remarkably interesting. Orks landed on Eriquis 3 shortly after the Angry Marines.

The Angry Marines, along with their new allies, met the Orks in battle with perhaps even more ferocity than they had when first arriving on the planet. The battle was ferocious but once again, unexpectedly short. The Orks too joined this growing amalgamation of forces.

What was most shocking was that there were no casualties this time! There had been a handful of deaths when the Angry Marines arrived but here there were none! These stubborn ferocious brutes were brought to halt without the loss of a single life on either side. Plenty of injuries though, oh yes. One of the green beasts gave me a broken toothed smile as he passed by a day after the battle.

The Orks began construction of new WAAAAGH! banners. Many of them were orange with a crude drawing of red fruit upon them. I have seen this image before but the Orks seem to take to it with greater popularity.

As per their usual habit, they have also constructed some new improvised jagged monstrosity of machinery. I can only compare it to one of their "Stompas" though they have dubbed the shoddy crimson colossus "Da Big Mekintosh!"

If even the seemingly indomitable Orks can fall to this passive force, what hope do we have? I have grown rather somber.

An Ork did give me a complement on my hat though.

Day 24

I must apologize to myself for my later than usual journal entry, but I have been having the most wonderful time!

For the past several days there has been a steady fall of luscious snow. We have had quite a time pushing it around to make snow forts and throwing balls of snow at each other. I have never known such joy!

For some time it was everyone verses the Greenskins on account of them making these absolutely unfair meks that gathered the snow up to fire it in rapid volleys and large quantities.

The last couple of days the snowfall has stopped and we have run out of ammo. The Greenskins were inventive enough to store some and are still firing the last of it. The Tech Priests tried to emulate their efforts but our foes had quite the head start. We will be ready for them next time though!

Day 25

I fear I have become heavily corrupted.

Day 28

It finally happened. The forces of Chaos have appeared to this world. Both the Fallen Chaos Marines and the Corrupt Dark Eldar made planet fall about noon yesterday.

There was no battle of any kind this time. I cannot say I was surprised. Whatever these forces are, their influence is growing. Even the Orks and Angry Marines desire for battle seem to have been tamed.
…Somewhat.

There is certainly tension, but no fighting has occurred apart from arguments over "who is best."

The Dark Eldar have taken to worshiping one of the new gods. "Molestia" they call her. I believe this is some form of the Sun Empress "Celestia" though in a tainted manner. Other worshipers of Slaanesh have also begin worshiping Molestia as well.

The Tezeentch loyalists are divided over two of the new gods. One being "Nightmare Moon" whom I believe is a tainted form of the Moon Empress "Luna" and another new god called "Chrysalis." Indecently, Chrysalis seems to have her own following of a small group of former Slaanesh worshipers as well.

Another of these new Dark Gods has been adopted by the former Nurgle worshipers. A "King Sombra" I am told. I know not much of this one. In truth, there seems to be very little about him.

As for the former Khorne followers. They seem exceptionally confused and argumentative about who they should follow. I see them suggesting a feathered figure they call "Gilda," or another entity named "Pinkamena," while others claim alliance to a being called "Fluttershy." I cannot imagine why someone with a Khorne mindset would worship a goddess named Fluttershy. I even know this one's symbol of winged insects, she is attributed to gentleness and kindness. I can only guess that she must possess the most wicked of wraths to attract such followers.

I put aside my fear and confronted a Chaos Sorcerer for conversation. He informed me that despite their divisions, all of the Chaos forces share an affinity for the being called "Discord," who is a true embodiment of Chaos itself.

Such sights. Such blasphemy! The forces of Mankind and the forces of Chaos sleeping side by side! The sheer gall of these events!

I feel an increasing haze of confusion clouding my mind. My devotion to the Emperors service is one of the few things that keep me sane.

I beheld a group of Heretics worshiping a totem of a grouping of stars. Not Chaos Stars though. They were six pointed and there were five of them circled around a much larger one.

From this group I heard the chanting of "Friendship is Madness! Friendship is Madness!"
This chant echoes in my mind even now. It grinds my resolve.

Day 29

The days seem much brighter. I dreamed of a strange pink creature last night. It seemed awfully pleased to see me. It led me to several other creatures of remarkable coloring. They too seemed very pleased with my presence.

I felt a strange peace with them. I think they were trying to lead me somewhere. A very bright city of light and night. I awoke before we got there. I'm a little disappointed about that. Perhaps they will come again tonight.

The emperor prevails.

Day 30

Oh wonder!

Oh joy!

I have seen it now! I saw the city of Light and Night!

I have met the God Empresses. They came to me last night as the six led me into their home. Their forms shined with purity, strength, and elegance as such I have never seen before. They greeted me with kindness and answered all my questions. I have never felt as safe and at peace as I was with them.

I know now what they are. They are not of Holiness or Chaos. They are of Order! Perfect flowing Order! The warmth of this light they share is wondrous!

The six have promised to guide me. To show me all of their ways. I see it all so clearly now!

Yes! Friendship IS Magic!

Day 31

Recommend Immediate Exterminatus.
No Extraction.

JOURNAL END-

Author's Note

Oh this silliness! I got mixed reactions about the whole thing from when I submitted it on DA some time back. Lets see what it nets me now if anything.