Pinkie Surprise
Pain.
Pain.
Pain is what you should be feeling right now.
Fluttershy’s cottage is much roomier than you imagined it.
“Now now, I wouldn’t move much if I were you,” Fluttershy says, her voice nearly a whisper. She finishes spreading the blanket over you, at least the parts of you that aren’t suspended from cables. “You should go to sleep, ok? You’ll get better a lot faster if you get your rest.” She trots over to the head of the bed, her wide comforting eyes searching your face for any signs of discomfort. “Um…is the medicine working ok? Can you feel anything?”
Luckily for you, the cottage is as quiet as a nursery at night, and you don’t have to speak loudly at all for her to hear you. A smile and a nod gets a smile from her in return.
“Good. Zecora knows her brews. I’m just so relieved you’re ok. That accident was, well, Pinkie, um…” her voice trails off to inaudible whispers. “I just, um, it was pretty funny, right?” She lets out a small laugh before putting her hoof up to her mouth. “Oh, um, that is, if you think so too.”
You nod and give her another smile. It was pretty funny, and luckily accidents like that are never fatal here. You never would have thought you could bounce like that, nor how many bones you could break at once—Twilight would probably be by later to take notes, once the doting yellow mare allowed it.
“Well, um, I’m going to go into town for a little while,” Fluttershy says, picking up a couple saddlebags in her mouth and putting them on her back. Before she leaves she trots over to your bedside. “I’ll be back before dark, my little human,” she says, and leans down to give your forehead a small peck. “Get better, ok?”
When the door closes you relax a little, sinking a little further into the bed that’s little more than a foot off the ground and enjoying the numbness her medicine gives you. Considering the treatment you’re getting here, you think you might have to get injured more often. Just as sleep closes in on you, you spy a shape dashing away from looking in the window.
By then it’s already too late.
“Hiya!” Her face shoots up next to your bed and it jolts your numb, sleepy body awake. You let out a small hello back. “I was thinking to myself when I was walking through town just a few minutes ago, and I thought, wow, I hope he’s ok after that fall. I mean, pfft, it was pretty funny right?” She laughs, closing her eyes, and lays her foreleg on your arm, pressing it down and bringing your leg up. “I mean, who knew you would hit almost every single step down that enormous spiral staircase! Tee-hee-hee! I know it was a long way down, but I just couldn’t stop myself from laugh-” She stops when she opens here eyes and sees how she’s moved you. She lifts your arm and watches you leg move up and down with it, then reaches over and lifts your other one, watching the other leg move. “Ooh, look at you go!”
“Pinkie,” you whisper.
“I can help you dance!”
"Pinkie!” you whisper.
“Hey, I bet I could put some pedals down there and you could ride your bed all the way to Sugarcube Corner! We could even-“
"Pinkie!” You raise your head to say, letting yourself back down onto the bed, the effort of speaking so loudly taxing on your energy.
"Yeah?" She stops moving your limbs around and looks at you, her cute pink face filling your entire field of vision inches from your face and silent.
“I can’t go to Sugarcube corner with you right now,” you say in your quiet voice now that you have her attention. “Fluttershy says I have to stay here for a while until I get better.”
“Aw, that’s no fun!” She frowns as hard as she can and shakes her head. Her hair bounces around and brushes your forehead, making it itch. She smells like sugar cookies and frosting. “I was planning a party tonight too!” She disappears for a moment, then her face comes back from another angle, still too close for comfort. “And you won’t get to have any of the sweet treats I made for it!” Now her face is upside down. “Maybe we can have it here!” Now back from the side of the bed. “But Fluttershy wouldn’t allow it, she’d probably cry from all the excitement, everypony in ponyville is invited!” She pulls back for a moment, rubbing her chin with a hoof. “If your hands can't help you eat them...Hmmmmmmm…”
“That’s OK, Pink-“
“Hey! I know! I’ll bring the treats to you!”
“No really, that’s ok,” you whisper, but she’s vanished again. You have no idea what exactly she intends to do, but pray you can get some sleep before she returns.
“Hey, hey wake up!” A soft hoof smooshes against your cheek. You open your eyes to see Pinkie again, and you can see out the window that the sun is beginning to set. “I brought you something! Something from the party! Can you guess what it is?” She doesn’t give you time to say anything. “It’s treats! All the treats from the party that’s going on RIGHT NOW! I ran over here as fast as I could, because I don’t want to miss the party, but I do want you to taste what I made! But halfway over I tripped and spilled it all, so I had to go back, and then the Cakes said I had to help them, and then the next time…”
You close your eyes for a moment, knowing that her explanations can take quite a while. You dose off and only catch the last bit of it.
“…and I finally figured out how to get them all here at once, and that’s why I brought this!” Her eyes light up with pride and she her smile is wide, and you spy a bottle of root beer. On closer inspection, you can see a small white pill of some kind balanced to perfection on top of it.
“What…?” you whisper.
“It’s OK, I knew you wouldn’t be able to eat any of it with all those casts all over you.” She leans back and you turn your head to get a good look at her. You notice with suspicion that her body is slightly bigger than you remember. “So I ate them! See?” She sits back, still balancing the bottle she’s no longer watching, and pokes and shakes her bulging belly. “Now you’ll get to enjoy them all at once!” With one hoof she strikes the bottom of the one holding the bottle and the pill flies with a lazy arc right onto her nose.
You furrow your brow, still unsure of how she intends to do that, not that you like any of the ways you can think of. Her eyes cross, looking at the pill on her nose, and she opens the bottle without dropping it.
“It’s Pinkie’s Poppariffic Party-Cake Pill! Makes little bubbles in your mouth when you eat them, but I had to make this one much, much bigger, or it wouldn’t work!” With a twitch of her nose the pill lands on your bandaged chest and she guzzles the bubbling liquid. She lets out a sigh after the last gulp, then looks down and massages her belly. “I just couldn’t decide which one you liked best, and after I knew I was going to be eating them first, I just had to get them all!” she explains. Your eyes widen when realize just what she intends to do. She continues to shake and wiggle her protruding belly.
“Oh…no Pinkie, please,” you whisper, “you don’t have to…”
She stands again, a little slower this time, and looks down at your face. “But I do, silly! I care about you, you know, and if you care, you gotta share!” Before you can even turn away, she plants a big sloppy kiss on your lips, and for a moment, at least, you enjoy it. But the thought of her plans quickly turn your head and close your mouth.
“Hey! Don’t be party pooper!” She exclaims, then climbs up onto your bed, her four legs straddling your chest, and you can see her full, swaying belly hanging between them. Her front legs bend and rest on your shoulders, then close in on your cheeks. Your face is locked with hers. “I know you’ll enjoy it. Just let it happen!” She kisses you again, her eyes closing, but your mouth is still shut.
“Please,” you try again, “Pinkie, please don’t do this.”
Pinkie tucks her head down between her legs, covering your face with her poofy hair for a moment, then plucks back up. You can see the pill suspended between her teeth.
She smiles wide, then swallows it with a large gulp.
“Time to…” she pauses to take a breath and you can feel her body shifting its weigh on your chest, “time to open up, ahh, and get this—ooh—this party started!”
One of her hooves lets go of your face just long enough to lift your arm, which lowers your leg and, surprisingly, opens your mouth with a creak.
“Ahh,” she sighs heavily with an open mouth, letting her tongue hang out. You can feel her body start to heave on top of you, and her mouth, preparing for what’s coming next, produces an unusual amount of saliva. She lets it drool in small rivulets into your open mouth, and it dribbles here and there as head bobs with the growing heaves. You can hear her swallowing a little while she tries to keep her mouth open and you can see her eyes starting to well up with tears.
“A-almost there…H-here it…” she pauses a moment to gulp again, but her head tilts and darts forward, sealing her mouth with yours.
Time seems to slow down right before it happens. You can feel her legs tensing and tightening around your head, and her face pushing your own back into the pillow. Her eyes are tightly shut with tears beading up at the edges, her back is straightening, and you can feel her tongue lolling on your own, trying to make way for the coming torrent of sweets, and for the life of you, you can’t seem to be able to stop her.
At first only a long burp with little bits of spit come into your mouth, sending the scent through your nose. Some detached part of you notices it doesn’t smell sour like you expected.
The next heave injects liquified confections into your mouth with such pressure you cannot help but swallow, and the relaxing medicine Fluttershy gave you lets Pinkie’s fluids force their way down your throat almost without the need for you to gulp.
The taste and texture is unlike anything you’ve ever had before—the fluids are warm, but you can feel cold and soft blobs glide across your tongue that can only be ice cream. A hint of root beer can be distinguished for the slightest instant before you taste…peaches and cream. A rough texture and taste replaces it for a fleeting moment that tastes something like strawberry shortcake and sprite—she really must have eaten something of everything back at the party.
The sharp inhale through her nose breaks you out of your reverie when her mouth relaxes for a second, but another even longer puke fills your mouth again. The liquids swell into every crevice of your mouth and swirls at the edges while the rest spews from her gaping maw. You can hear her making retching noises above you, but you close your eyes and let her finish this one. A couple more burps end this stream, one going down your throat and the other through your nose again. She lifts her head an inch away, releasing the seal on your mouth, and looks you in the eyes, smiling. A small string of particle-filled drool drags between her lips and yours when she tilts her head the other way.
For a moment, the cottage is completely quiet again, the light of the sunset throwing soft ambient light and shadows across the room, and the only thing you can hear is Pinkie’s heavy breathing between your gulps.
Another heave takes her, and she struggles to make the seal on your mouth again before it rises, and a thin film of the liquified party treats forms on your face around your lips. Pinkie regurgitates more of the sweet concoction, a hoof leaving your face and pressing up on her stomach as they begin to taper. Her face squirms on yours as she tries to press the last of it out of herself, the last few belches giving you a chance to inhale.
She sits up on top of your chest to take a breather. You lap your tongue against the roof of your mouth, then dig around the outsides of your teeth to get the rest of the tasty treats deposited between your cheeks. Pinkie looks down at you.
“Well?” She flutters her eyes at you.
“Thanks for sharing, Pinkie.” You say after swallowing, and give her a smile. “I think I kinda liked it.”
“Yay! You liked my treats! I’ve never done anything like that before, but I sure loved it too! We should do it again sometime!”
You nod your head. Pinkie giggles at you and leans forward again.
“I made a mess on your face! Lemme clean that up for you!” She says, then licks your face clean in a flurry of swabs by her tongue.
“Ooh, it’s time to head back to the party!” she says, looking down at the watch on her forehoof that wasn’t there before. “I’ll visit you again soon! Tomorrow! Maybe we can do this tomorrow! Ooh, how about every day? I could make all sorts of things, and the great thing is *I* get to enjoy them too! I’d be soo happy, I even get to enjoy them twice! We could do this when you’re all better, and when that happens we could—”
You lower your arm onto her leg, lifting your own and closing your mouth, and whisper “Pinkie.” She stops and looks at you.
“Pinkie, you should get back to your other friends. I’ll be here when you’re done.”
“Aw, thanks!” She leans over to kiss you again. “You still taste yummy and sweet!”
Before she closes the door, she turns and looks back at you.
“Goodnight, sleep tight!”
“Goodnight, Pinkie.”
