Luna's donuts

by The Batmane of equestria

Rating: everyone
Tags: Random, Adventure, Princess Luna, Original Character, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy
Length: 1732

Luna wants donuts. What could possibly go wrong?

Luna is hungry. But not hungry for just anything. The object she wants, what she desires most, is the most tantalisingly tasty thing on the planet: a donut from Donut Joe's.

Published 2014-05-25 00:20:03 UTC
Last updated 2014-05-25 00:20:03 UTC

The story

Luna lay in her study, her faced firmly planted on the desk. She found herself unable to concentrate on her work. She had several complaints, nobles asking for land and monster attacks piled up in front of her. She groggily lifted her head off the desk and stared hopelessly at the raps of paperwork before slamming her head against the desk once more. "Why can I not concentrate?" She asked herself. She was answered by a large grumbling sound emanating from within the room. She shot to her hooves ad looked around the room, her horn blaring, ready to blast any intruder to the moon. "CEASE! WHO GOES THERE?!" She shouted in her royal Canterlot voice. There came another grumble. Her ears perked to check for where the sound came from. She looked at her stomach, which was grumbling like an earthquake. Her anger diffused and her horn stopped glowing. "I'm... Hungry?"

She wondered what she could do to quench her hunger. Have the chefs prepare a meal? No, it would take too long. Make something herself? No, she didn't know how to cook, and was practically banned by her sister to cook after 'The Great Hoof Loops Incident'. She shuddered at the memory. Then, she had an idea. "GUARDS!" Within the second, two of her personal night guards had appeared, raring for action. After a second they both realised the futility of their actions because there was no danger.

"Umm, yes, your highness?" The asked in unison.

"What are thy names?"

"I am Shadow Wing." Said the guard on the left, a dark gray unicorn with a black mane beneath, much like Luna's favourite cellist. "My colleague here is Dusk Haze." He said, indicating to the dark red pegasus with a gray mane next to him.

"Excellent. Thou art to accompany me on a quest for only the noblest of stallions, a mission that can only be completed by few ponies." The two guards gulped, looking at eachother. "Thou art going to help me to acquire... Donuts."

The two guards walked behind Luna, keeping stoic expressions on their faces. Pedestrians that came near either bowed to the Princess of the Night or ran away screaming about Nightmare Moon returning. After a few minutes of walking, an elderly tourist, engrossed in her travel guide, stumbled into Luna. Instead of running, apologising or even bowing, she simply said, "Excuse me, Miss, but do you know the way to the Canterlot Gardens?" Dusk and Shadow moved their hooves to their concealed weapons. Luna quickly stopped them by holding up a hoof.

"Certainly." She said to the elderly tourist, who clearly didn't recognise she was talking to a princess. "Thou must go up this pavement for three blocks, turn right and follow the path until thou reaches thine destination."

"Thank you, Miss...?"

"Luna" she could tell by the way the mares jaw dropped that she had now realised who she was talking to.

"Oh, um, my apologies, oh great and powerful Princess of the Night." Somewhere near the everfree forest, a blue mare with a silvery mane shuddered. "I meant no disrespect, I swear." The mare bowed so low, Luna was sure that she would sink through the pavement. She chuckled heartily.

"Thou hath no reason to be so scared, madam. I am but a mare with a bit of extra power. There is no reason why thou should be so afraid of punishment. Arise." The mare did as she was told, still visibly shaking. "Good." Luna pulled out a slip of paper. "Here. This is a VIP pass into the gardens, where thou shall be treated to a complimentary tour of the grounds and free beverages. Enjoy." She passed the paper to the mare, who was still shaking.

"I-I don't know what to say! Thank you, my princess!" She bowed respectfully before running off to enjoy her VIP access. Shadow and Dusk just stood there, slack jawed and confused.

"Umm, your highness?" Shadow asked. Luna turned
To him with an affirming hum. "Two questions: firstly, why do that?"

"Simple. It is my duty as a Princess to make sure that all of my citizens are happy. Second question?"

"Secondly, do you know the way to the donut store?"

Luna looked dumbfounded. "Erm... No." She said guiltily, scratching the back of her head with her hoof.

The trio wandered the streets, hoping that they could find their way there. They trotted down several streets, looking for the slightest bit of evidence that they could find the store.

"I thought there was one on Mane Street?" Dusk offered. Luna face hoofed.

"Of course! What street are we on?" Luna asked.

Shadow dashed to the street corner, where there was a sign that said what street they were on. A few seconds later, Shadow nervously paced towards the Princess of the Night.

"Well?" Luna asked. Shadow avoided eye contact, preparing for the oncoming verbal assault.

"239th street." He flinched, waiting for a reaction, but none came. He risked a glance up, only to see Luna staring blankly ahead, unmoving. This unsettled the unicorn. "Umm, Princess?" He said, waving a hoof in front of her face, a difficult task considering her stature. He was sure he could hear something whirring inside her head. The Pegasus backed off, leaving Dhadiw to brave the Princess. Suddenly, she let out a large cry of anguish.

"WHY ART THOU STILL STANDING THERE!? GET THINE BEHIND IN GEAR AND MOVE!!!" Shadow was cowering at this point while Dusk remained hidden behind a parked carriage.

"A-a-a-at once, your highness." He bolted towards the carriage where Dusk was hiding and pulled him out by his wing.

"Ow, ow, ow, ow. You're pulling my feathers out!" Dusk complained, before seeing the unamused face of Luna.

The trio set off again, this time towards Mane Street. Luna and Dusk flew while Shadow was barely able to keep up by running. Thank Celestia for those running exercises in the academy.

After 32 minutes of running and flying, they arrived at Mane street, conveniently just near Donut Joe's. Luna and Dusk landed outside. "Finally, we are here. Umm, where is Shadow?" Luna questioned.

A dark gray unicorn in night guard uniform stumbled around the corner, wheezing for breath. "I'm... Sorry.... Your highness..." Shadow whispered before collapsing.

"Will he be ok?" Luna asked, poking the crumpled form of her guard.

"Give him a minute." Dusk said. "I think we should get the donuts now."

Shadow eventually stood up and stumbled I to the shop, where Luna was waiting patiently in line for donuts. He joined them in the queue and waited.

As they placed their order, they failed to notice what was going on outside. Changelings plummeted to the ground, capturing everypony they saw and mimicking them in every way. "Yes, I'll have a dozen glazed donuts, a dozen of those chocolaty one's, a dozen of them curly one's..." Luna continued, still not noticing the chaos. The pony behind the counter rushed to and fro, struggling to keep up with Luna's order. "And 20 of those one's with sprinkles." She turned to her two guards. "Do you two want anything?"

"Can I just have a glazed donut please?" Shadow asked.

"And can I have a glazed with sprinkles?" Dusk asked.

Luna nodded, collecting the order and paying the bill, which came to 1063 bits. They walked out of the store, their faces buried in the bags, still totally oblivious to the invasion.

"You know *munch*, I think I'm forgetting an event *munch* today."

Shadow and Dusk answered with a "Hmm?" not even looking up. Ponies flooded the streets, screaming and running everywhere.

"Yeah, I think it was a wedding or something." Luna said, still buried in the bag. Dusk and Shadow finished their donuts and looked up.

Chaos surrounded them. Buildings were cracked and ablaze, ponies were being hunted by changelings and more flooded the sky. Luna was still oblivious.

"Ummm, Dusk?"

"Y-yes?"

"Do you think we should tell her?"

"Probably not. Let's just keep her oblivious. We can hold off a few of these... creatures, right?"

Shadow nodded, charging up his horn and discharging at anything that got too close to Luna while Dusk flew around, knocking them out of the sky. It stayed that way for the entire journey back to the castle. They walked the halls, the occasional pony being chased by a changeling passing by. Luna remained unaware. They trotted up to a large set of oak doors.

They pushed them open, only to see what appeared to be a large female changeling battling the Princess's protege. They slammed the doors closed. Luna walked into the door.

"Why have thou stopped?"

"Umm, I think it's best you don't go in there." Shadow said.

"Yeah, umm, important things... going on... in there. Yeah."

Luna arched a brow before setting back into her donuts. She opened the door and walked inside. The guards shared equal looks of terror. They followed her inside. They stood either side of her as they passed the battle. The two in the battle stopped suddenly, still in fighting stances but their heads swivelled towards Luna and her guards. Shadow placed a hoof to his lips, telling them to be quiet so they didn't alert her. The two combatants shared looks of confusion before looking back at the trio. The two guards shrugged as they kept either side of Luna.

As soon as they reached the other end of the room, they opened the door to allow Luna to pass. As the door closed, they heard the duo resume fighting. They sighed in relief. They followed her back to her chamber, where she entered, still oblivious to the panic throughout Canterlot.

She put down the bag when she entered, looking up. Her room was as spotless as usual. She walked over to the balcony and looked down. She gasped in shock. The city was in ruins. She looked at a portion of the castle where the chapel lay. Suddenly, a large black, insect-like creature flew through the window, and into the Everfree forest, along with about a million other insect-like creatures.

She turned to her guards. "We go out for donuts for half an hour and the city is destroyed? So this is what happens when Celestia is left alone. No wonder I'm needed to guard the night."