Author's Note
Hello, to anyone that happens across this story! Also, seeing as you’ve opened the chapter and are reading this, thank you. I realize that..not much I’ve written has really been..good. But that was almost three years ago, and I’ve been studying writing styles ever since. I also realize that HiE stories are not well received. But I won’t let that stop me. Just, thank you for giving this a chance. This story basically was a concept that came to me in a semi-lucid dream. Yes, it will involve me, or at least a future me, several years from now, because that’s the only way the story works, not because I’m trying to fulfill every brony’s fantasy. I will be trying some things I’ve never tried before in my other, now dead and soon to be removed or revised stories, and we shall see how it goes.
Beginnings of a new day
Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep the alarm clock rang out in its monotone electronic voice, each beep growing louder to add to the collective message: “WAKE UP”.
“Murgh” the form under the covers managed to groan out, before reaching a hand up and slapping the snooze button like it was a mosquito, silencing the alarm. His reprieve was short lived though, as ten seconds later the stereo across the room clicked on and the android phone connected to it by cable started to blast a familiar, orchestral-sounding song with rock and electronic blended together.
“Alright, alright, I’m up!” The figure yelled to no one in particular. Rising from the bed, and throwing the covers aside, Dan stood up. Stretching his back as he crossed the room, he silenced the phone, unplugged it from its charger and aux cable, and shut off the stereo. Yawning, he checked the time. 6:30, same as always. But strangely, he had no service. A quick thought crossed his mind to check the relay antenna he had built later, as it was the only way he got phone service in this forest he lived in. With a shrug and another yawn, he put the phone down and headed off to shower.
Dan stood in the shower, letting the warm water blast the sleep away while he gathered his wits for the day. The night’s sleep had been quite fitful, full of dreams of strange multicolored lightning and lots of chanting in a language he could not understand nor pronounce. Passing it off as just a strange dream, he finished his shower and went to get dressed.
After donning a shirt and some pants (because pants are essential when leaving the house), he stepped back into the bathroom. Glancing at himself in the mirror, he took a look at himself, then realized everything looked fuzzy. Chuckling at his mistake, he quickly inserted his contact lenses, and turned his gaze back to the mirror. The same face that had always stared back at him his entire life now looked into his eyes. He was tall, but not too tall, standing at about 6’3”, and not exactly pencil thin, he had a bit of a pudge. Clad in blue jeans and an old T-shirt for AKA racing tires, he had a very plain look about him. His dark brown hair grew wildly as usual, and he grabbed a comb to attempt to tame the storm. When he was satisfied that his hair was in order, or, at least as much as it was ever going to be, he grabbed the trimmer off the charger for a quick shave. After all, this was his first day back to work after a massive layoff months ago, and he wanted to look his best.
Checking the time once more, he noticed it was getting dangerously close to 7:00, and decided he had better get going. He ran back to his room to grab his work boots, slipping them on his feet and tying them tight. He also grabbed two Gerber folding knives, both half serrated. One went in his right pocket, his faithful RipStop folder, while the other one, a Tanto styled folder, went in his boot, between his skin and sock. With that, he was ready. Grabbing his phone, he headed out to the garage entrance.
Flicking on the light to his garage, two cars sat in front of him, begging him to make a choice. The first, was an old, somewhat dented 1998 MK3 VW Jetta, silver in color. It had been his first car, and since then, he always drove three-pedal. The engine had nearly 350,000 miles on it, yet it still ran like a top, and got nearly 40MPG, despite its age. He loved that car, and the 5-speed made it awesome to drive. Coupled with the nearly bulletproof 2-liter engine, it was an amazing economy car.
The second car was a bit different, a 2008 MK5 VW Golf R32, blue in color. This car, he had gotten cheap, due to a blown transmission. That had been easy enough to fix, a set of hardened race gears and a newer armored Haldex unit solved that little problem, and a double disc race clutch didn’t hurt either. From there, it had been a cake job to drop forged steel pistons, hardened head bolts, harder valve springs, reinforced timing chains, and a set of roller rod bearings into the engine, all so it could handle the supercharger hanging off the side. He had left the car sitting at the height range it belonged, only lowering it ever so slightly, he could not stand what was known as “rice rockets” (Side Note: R.I.C.E. stands for “Race Inspired Cosmetic Enhancements”, it is not a derogatory term) that scraped the ground. Coupled with a software change to the ECM, courtesy of a pirated APR tuning setup, this thing was a monster. And as much as he loved his old jetta, this was the car he was taking to work today.
“Hope I can catch Justin at the light again, give that STI a run for its money this time” He said to no one in particular once again, as he pulled open the door. He was of course referring to his supervisor, an Ex-Marine who drove an STI with some major upgrades. He had smoked Dan at a stop light one morning several months ago while he was driving the Jetta, and Dan was eager to finally have the chance to show him up. His STI may be fast, but Dan’s R32 was faster. While they shared all-wheel-drive, Justin’s car had an H-4 engine, with a turbo supplying 22 pounds of boost. Dan had a V-6 with a super pushing 35 pounds. “Game on”, he whispered with a grin, pushing in the clutch and turning over the engine. The engine roared to life, twin cams clicking away, and the supercharger adding a very deadly sounding hiss to the car, like a snake ready to strike. The radio head unit in the dash immediately picked up on the iPod plugged into it by USB, and began playing modulated, thumping and bassy music. Pushing the button on the garage door opener, he carefully backed the car out and over the driveway, finally backing out onto the dirt road his house was situated against.
Dropping the car in gear, and with a scream of the engine and dump of the clutch, Dan and his car surged forward, spraying dirt from all 4 tires. The trip through the forest was very eventful, with plenty of corners to drift around, and even more straightaway to pick up speed in. Though, for some reason, Dan couldn’t help but feel like he was being watched. The moving shadows he kept seeing out of the corner of his eye didn’t help this feeling either. Putting it out of his mind, he kept driving.
The road turned a sharp corner (which of course he drifted around) before opening up into a wide clearing. This caused Dan to stab the clutch and brake, bringing the car to a quick stop. “This isn’t right,” he said aloud over the music “Where’s the road?”
He was of course referring to the paved road that he should have reached by now, which seemed all but nonexistent. Popping the car out of gear and ripping the E-brake, he stepped out of the car to look. Ahead, he estimated about a mile and a half, maybe two, was a small town. But something was wrong. The town seemed…cartoon-like. And painfully familiar, if he could only just place from where….
His eyes suddenly snapped fully open with realization. “No….” he breathed “It can’t be.” Scrambling to retrieve his phone from his pocket, he noted that he still had no service as he quickly opened the picture gallery, calling up a specific image from the SD card.
It had been years since he had last watched the show, and yet, holding his phone up against the landscape he saw before him, there it was. Ponyville. How could this happen? How did this world even exist? How did he end up here, of all people, of all places? And how was he going to get to work now?
“HOW?!?!” He screamed into the sky, more out of surprise than aggravation. Realization slowly sunk in as he lowered his head. “This is like all of those crappy fan-fics I read years ago” He muttered, standing there unsure as to what to do. Then a thought struck him like a bolt of brain-lightning.
He had gotten ready this morning perfectly unaware of the situation that now perplexed him, seeing as he had both power, and running water to his house. He had to get back there, had to see if anything else was working, and if he could figure out what the hell was going on. He jumped back into the car, slamming it into gear and dumping the clutch, whipping the car around by sheer torque. Racing back to his house, he noticed that he could no longer see the shadows out of the corner of his eye.
Reaching his house and whipping into the driveway, he quickly shut off the engine and dove out, closing the door and locking the car. A move which, the voice in the back of his head told him, was pointless. If he was correct about where he was, nothing in this world would even know what a car IS, never mind be able to steal one. Running inside through the front door, Dan nearly tripped over a Short Course truck he had left laying out after a blast run through the mud, evident by the mud that now caked the tires and body in every area possible. He sprinted to the living room and quickly powered on the gaming PC he had hooked up to his TV as an ‘ultimate game console’, as he had affectionately called it. The large flatscreen TV quickly flared to life, followed by the word “ASUS” and then a Windows boot screen. The PC booted in a record 18 seconds, and in no time, Dan was staring at his desktop. He grabbed the wireless keyboard/touchpad sitting on the couch and flopped down, attempting to open Chrome. Chrome quickly returned with an error page “unable to connect to the internet”. Perplexed, yet somehow not surprised, Dan keyed in the gateway address to his router to make sure it hadn’t just dropped the connection again. It hadn’t. Both the modem and router were doing their jobs as designed, yet there was no connection to the internet. Dan quickly flipped a button on the remote for his TV, switching HDMI inputs from the computer to his cable box. A blue “no signal” screen awaited him.
With a sigh, Dan flipped the TV back to the PC input and grabbed the cordless phone from its base next to the couch. The display read “check tel line” and when he opened the line, all he heard was a hiss of a dead line. With another sigh, he tossed the phone gently onto the couch next to him. “I guess I shouldn’t expect it to be this easy, “ he said with a slight laugh “after all, real life don’t work like a fan-fic.”
He was interrupted by a light rapping on his front door, and a very quiet female voice calling out. He had to strain to listen, it was so faint “Um…hello? Is..is anypony there? I heard a scream, and..oh, I hope nothing bad happened!” Dan stiffened at the sound. There was no way. She…she was just a cartoon character in a show he used to watch years ago. But..well, if he was in the world he found no evidence to believe he wasn’t in, then she had to exist too. He jumped up from the couch, sprinted to the door and opened it.
There, standing on his front stoop, was Fluttershy.
Author's Note
Well, this story has a lot of reads and one or two favorites, so I imagine at least someone read it. No comments though, so I’m not sure if there’s anything I’m doing that you guys like, or anything you guys don’t like, anything you’d like to see out of future chapters, ya know? I’m not saying you HAVE to leave me a comment, but it’s incredibly hard to gauge reactions when there are none. Also, I promise to stop with the lengthy descriptions and tech talk, unless he’s explaining to a character, and even then, it’ll be kept as short as possible. And no more links, unless it’s to music, or something that I’m positive no one will know what it is without a link. The reason I used that many links to describe things in the first chapter is because I suck at descriptions of things like cars, and I wanted to make it real easy for you guys (or girls) to understand what I’m referring to in the very beginning, so I didn’t have to keep doing it in later chapters. Also, if you’re reading this and have not read my older stories, please, for your sake, keep it that way. Anyway, this is probably the longest A/N you’re ever going to see out of me, so I’m done rambling for now. Enjoy chapter two!
"What ARE you?"
Standing on his front doorstep, Dan had barely a second’s time to even inhale a breath before the pastel mare before him looked up. Instantly, her eyes widened in fear, her ears flattened to her head, and her whole body twitched backwards in surprise. He inhaled sharply, knowing all too well what was to come.
“uhh…” was all he got out before she let out a piercing scream and bolted away in the direction of the forest, taking to the air as she did so. When she was out of sight, Dan let out the breath he had been holding in a long, drawn out sigh. “Welp,” he mused “that went about as predicted.”
Having nothing better to do, and knowing that frantically searching for answers was going to get him nowhere, he grabbed the hose and supplies out of his garage and began cleaning the dirt off his metal baby.
Fluttershy
Fluttershy flew as fast as she could, adrenaline still pumping through her veins. Inside her head though, she silently chastised herself. How could you be so stupid, Fluttershy? Stupid, stupid, stupid! Of course, the first thing you do was run away, just like you always do. You’re never going to learn to be assertive at this rate. Her mind raged, threatening to reduce herself to tears at the thought of her own weakness. Running away seemed to be all that she was good at. Sure, the…thing she just saw was scary, but it didn’t try to hurt her, not that she had really given it a chance. Her thoughts however, did not have time to complete, as she nearly slammed headfirst into Rainbow Dash in mid-flight.
“Whoa there, Fluttershy!” Rainbow called out as she rolled hard to starboard to avoid the collision “where ya going in such a hurry? I’ve never seen you move this fast before!”
Slowing to a hover, Fluttershy considered her options. Should she tell her friend about the thing she encountered in the forest? Her question was answered for her as she felt her friend lightly poking her in the forehead with a hoof as she hovered in front of her. “Helloooo? Equestria to Fluttershy? You in there?” This snapped her out of her thoughts. “Oh, n-nothing” she stammered “just, um…you know, going for a fly”
Rainbow’s face twisted into a slight frown. “C’mon, Flutters” she prodded “I know that face. That’s the ‘something’s wrong’ face. So what’s wrong?” Fluttershy sighed. She might as well tell her, Dash was not somepony you could brush off that easily. “W-well,” she began “It’s just that there’s suddenly this new house in the forest, and I went to investigate, and-and..whatever the thing is that lives there, it’s…it’s huge! I’ve never seen anything like it before! I was so scared, so I ran off!”
Rainbow Dash, demonstrating her infinite listening skills, took this to mean “there’s some big scary thing in the forest that threatened me.” She frowned “well, what are we waiting for?! Let’s go teach this thing a lesson!” she exclaimed before speeding off towards the forest. “Wait,” Fluttershy called after her in a futile effort “that’s not what I…” Before she just gave up and decided to trail after her friend.
Dan
“Cause tomorrow spring is here” Dan sang lightly as he scrubbed the last of the dirt off the rims of his ride. For dirt belonging to a world of cartoon horses, it sure stuck to everything just the same as the real thing. He also had to laugh at his choice of song, but found it quite fitting for the world he was now in. But in his mind a dilemma still raged. What was he going to do? He couldn’t exactly find any answers inside his house, or the surrounding forest as to why he was here. Hell, he still expected to wake up in a hospital bed, to be told he had wrecked his blue baby and was hallucinating. But the other side of the coin was, the general population was going to fear him, as is expected seeing as he was a strange monster to them. He was going to run out of food pretty quickly, it’s not like you could exactly walk up to him and say “Hey, Dan, just thought you should know, on this specific date your house is going to be transported to a world of magical ponies, might wanna stock up on food, ‘kay?” because, of course, he would have asked if you if he could have some of whatever you were obviously smoking. So at some point, he was going to have to meet the ponies. An exchange he dreaded.
“Hey you!” a sandy and crackly voice broke his concentration, and made him turn to look for the source of the voice just as a cyan blur slammed into his chest, wrestling both his breath, and balance, away from him. He fell back against the hard pavement, back of his skull making contact with a dull thump. His last thought as blackness consumed his vision was: “and now I’ve met Rainbow Dash.”
(“And this, is the point at which he goes...completely crazy”)
Dan’s eyes snapped open just as suddenly as they had closed. Strange, he wasn’t in any pain. He sat up to take a look at his surroundings, only to blink in confusion. Everything was white, and seemed to expand forever. “Hello, Neo” came a female voice from behind him. Twisting around, the sight that met his eyes explained the environment.
“You’re not Morpheus.” He said with a slight snark. “Give me a second,” replied Princess Luna with a smirk. In a flash, she had summoned a pair of reflective sunglasses and a very worn red leather armchair, which she sat down in, much like a human. “You are the one, Neo.” She said in Morpheus’ voice, while staring at him intensely through the mirrored lenses.
That got him. Dan doubled over in laughter, finding himself almost crying. “Heh, I gotta hand it to you, that was pretty good” he said amusedly when his breath was regained “But I also have to know, how did you know about that movie?” The night Princess shot him a look as to say, “seriously?” In a flash, the glasses and chair disappeared just as quick, and she stood up on her hind legs and quickly morphed into a clone of Dan. “I’m inside your head” the clone said in her voice “I know you. I can be you. Would you wish me to not be you?” she inquired, quickly changing to the form of his best friend Aimee, fatigues and all.
“While it’s…admittedly entertaining that you can do that,” he responded slightly nervously “I’d prefer you go back to normal.” She frowned “Well you’re no fun” she shot back, sticking her tongue out at him, still in the body of his friend. “I have to admit, I quite like having hands” she said while examining them, wiggling the fingers. “But if that is your wish, then fine.” And just like that, she was Princess Luna once more.
“I have to say, though, I have so many questions for you, but I have no idea where to begin” he admitted, before sitting on the ‘floor’. “Then ask,” came the response as she sat in front of him “The worst I can do is answer.”
“Alright, alright. Where to start…well, for starters, how are you in my head right now, and how can you know everything about me?” This elicited a giggle from the moon-flanked alicorn. “Well, I’m pretty sure you already know the answer to the first one, now don’t you? Dreams are my thing. You’re having a form of a dream right now, though to call it a ‘dream’ while you are unconscious is a bit of a stretch, but it’s enough for me. Second, I don’t just have the power to invade your dreams, when I enter your head I have the option to gain all the knowledge and memories you possess, kind of like copying a file from a computer. But I can only do this while you’re dreaming. And I have to admit, you are a very interesting creature to me.” This came as not quite a shock to him. “But then, alright, that makes sense. The thing I don’t get is, you talk like me. Where’s the royal ‘We’? Where’s the ‘thee’ and ‘thy’ and whatnot?”
She rolled her eyes, then stuck her tongue out at him once again. “I told you, I’m inside your head. I know how you talk. I figured I’d talk like you to make you a little more comfortable with having a pony inside your brain. However, we can return to this form of speaking, if that is what thy desire.” Once again, Dan had to chuckle. He hadn’t imagined a Princess to be this…amusing.
“Alright, alright, touché” he laughed “you’re fine doing what you were, it’s easier to follow anyway. But here’s another one for you. If you know everything in my head, can you give me any ideas as to why I’m here? In Equestria, I mean.”
This seemed to snap her out of her silliness, and she took on a much more somber expression. “No, I really can’t. I know you were brought here by a spell, a very ancient one that technically shouldn’t exist anymore. It was one created by Starswirl the Bearded. But the power required to cast it is…astronomical. And that’s just to summon a creature, never mind a chunk of its world.” She lowered her gaze as she finished her explanation “I’m sorry Dan, I can’t send you home. Not until I figure out how you were brought here.”
“Hey, hey, it’s okay, it’s not like I exactly mind being here, though I have to admit, one of these days I’m going to have to actually meet a pony. That oughta be interesting. I take it you know about the reason I’m unconscious? Can you, maybe, I dunno, tell them not to fear me or something? Help me out a bit?” She shook her head. “I cannot. I could, but would it really help? So more like I will not. No, that task is yours and yours alone. If, in your time here, you want them to believe there’s nothing to fear about you, then prove it. Give them a reason to believe you. That is all I have to say on that matter.”
“Well, I-“ He was cut off by the fact that she was starting to fade, and felt a pain in his chest start to grow. “I’m sorry, we’re going to have to cut this short, it seems you’re waking up” she said, her voice starting to sound echo-like. He had to throw one more quip in before he left though. “Inspector?” He said, copping a terrible British accent “It’s all gone wrong, hasn’t it?”
“People should not fear their governments” She replied with a smile before fading out of existence and becoming a blinding white light.
(“YOU! SHUT UP! You…..keep talking”)
That blinding white light actually turned out to be the sun, glaring him in the face as his eyes cracked open. The pain in his chest also slammed into him like, well, a kick in the chest. Just behind his head though, he could hear arguing. Deciding to play unconscious just a few more minutes, Dan listened in.
“There! See? Taught that thing a lesson, didn’t I? Don’t mess with Fluttershy!” Dash could be heard bragging. “But…did you really have to kick him like that?” Fluttershy shot back “You could have killed him!” There was a snort, and Rainbow angrily retorted “Whatever that thing is, it deserved it. It threatened you, didn’t it?” There was silence for a second. “Well, um, no.” Came the response “If you listened to what I had said, I said I ran off. I never said he threatened me. You really should listen more carefully. Um…that is, if that’s okay with you.” Dan almost let out a chuckle, but remembered he’s supposed to be unconscious. “Well, it still looks dangerous to me!” Dash shot “This thing is huge!”
“I’m…I’m pretty sure it’s a he, Dash.” She said quietly. “And I’m sure he has a name. He doesn’t seem to be dangerous to me, just…different. And big. And he has a house, what kind of savage creature would have a house?” “Exactly!” Rainbow exclaimed “What kind of savage creature would have a house like this?” It’s obvious he-it, took it from somepony!”
“Then how do you explain the blue thing?” Fluttershy fired back “I’ve never seen anything like that before.” “I dunno, but I don’t like it” Came the response from Rainbow. “It’s probably some kind of weapon.”
With a noise that sounded like a “snerk”, Dan forgot about being unconscious and started laughing uncontrollably, startling the two ponies into jumping. “Hey! What are you laughing at?!” Dash retorted.
Dan opened his eyes and tried to sit up, only to find a hoof pressed heavily to his chest, causing a mini explosion of pain. “Don’t even think about it, whatever you are. I don’t want to have to hurt you.” Came the voice connected to said hoof.
“Please,” Dan mused, grabbing her hoof and easily pushing her off him, sitting up as he did so (though trying not to wince too much at the pain) “If you really believe I meant you harm, don’t you think I would have done so when you two were arguing?” This drew shocked looks from both of them. “YOU CAN TALK?!” Came the response from both pastel parties, nearly shouted. “Course I can talk” he replied with a snark “don’t you usually figure that out before you kick someone in the chest like that?
“Well, you know, I don’t even know what you are, you’re bucking huge!” she yelled back, obviously a little hurt. “So you kicked me in the chest? Smooth. Do you solve all your problems that way?” Came the reply. “And just so you know, this ‘blue thing’ here, is not a weapon, it just goes fast. I would think Rainbow Dash, champion of the sky would appreciate speed.” It was clear on her face, the sarcasm hurt, but she latched onto something he had said before it became too evident. “Wait a minute, how do you know my name?! And how do you know that about me?! Are you..A SPY?!”
“Ehhhh, no. Not even close. And you were so close, the grand prize was almost yours!” She shook her head and glared at him. “You know, you don’t have to be such a jerk about it!” He sighed, and lowered his head “You’re right, I’m sorry. I just…y’know, pain, hurting, all that. Do you mind if I try standing?”
Now it was her turn “Well, since the most danger I’ve seen out of you is sarcastic jokes and dirty looks, go for it.” She tossed her head with a snort and turned away. Fluttershy took this moment to speak up “I’m...I’m sorry about her, she’s…well, how do I put this….” “Prideful?” He offered. “Yeah…yeah, that works.”
“It’s fine, I know” He said as he slowly got to his feet. The pain in his head and chest was immense, but it started to let up a bit once he was standing. Looking over in the direction of the ponies, he noticed even Rainbow Dash was now staring at him with a slightly fearful look on his face. “Relax, I told you, I ain’t gonna hurt you” he tried reassuring. It didn’t seem to be very effective however, Fluttershy looked ready to dash off again. Rainbow Dash’s expression changed rapidly though. Now she looked pissed. “There’s something you ‘forgot’ to answer, ya know!” She called up to him “How exactly do you know as much as you do about me?”
“Heh” He mused “not gonna get out of that one, am I?” She immediately took to the air, getting right in his face “No, you’re not! Now tell me! Before I kick you again!” This drew a snicker from the now amused, if not still hurting human. “Oh, please,” he chuckled, placing a hand on her head, and shoving her back down and away some “If you must know, I’ll just show you.” With that, he started walking towards the house. When he didn’t hear hooves behind him, he turned around to see two ponies just standing there, well, one standing one hovering, staring at him with a blank look. “Coming?” He teased “Don’t you want to get your first look inside a human’s house?”
Both ponies perked up with sort of an “Oh!” of realization, and followed step behind him. He climbed the three steps to the porch and opened the door, stepping inside. He noticed that both ponies used their wings to boost themselves up the steps. Once inside, the look of wonder on their faces as their eyes explored every inch of the sights they were seeing was quite amusing, if not a little cute. Dan promised himself to never be heard saying that out loud though. Walking through the hallway, Dan made sure they did not make the same mistake as he did last time, kicking that electric short course truck out of the way with his foot. As they entered the living room, Dan gestured towards the couch. “Wait here. I’ll be right back.” He told them, before continuing around the corner and up the stairs.
Rainbow Dash
As soon as the creature turned the corner, Rainbow Dash turned to her friend. “I dunno Flutters, you think we should be trusting this thing? If anything, he’s been pretty nasty.” Her friend just smiled at her “Well, that tends to happen when you just attack somepony for no reason, Rainbow.” Her face fell “Yeah…I know. But to be honest, we don’t even know what this thing is yet. You seem to be trusting it already. Why?” Again, the soft smile adorned her face “Because, Rainbow, as he said, if he was going to hurt us, he would have already. A-and I don’t think he’s all that bad, just…upset.” And with that, the small thumps that signaled the creature’s arrival were audible, so both ponies decided to just shut up for the time being.
Dan
Dan walked upstairs quickly, heading for his room. From the living room, he could hear the ponies talking in hushed tones, and he knew they were talking about him, even if he couldn’t quite make it out. Entering his room, he yanked open the file cabinet underneath his disaster of a desk/work bench. From it he pulled out a Western Digital 1Tb external hard drive. This hard drive contained one of two copies of all his anime, movies, music, and of course, his archive of all the episodes of My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic. Grabbing the cable as well, he slammed the drawer shut and headed back downstairs. His head started pounding again, and his chest twinged, but he powered through it, making a mental note to take some aspirin later. As he re-entered the room, he noticed both ponies quickly end their conversation as soon as soon as they looked at him. This didn’t do much to dissuade that they were talking about him, but why should they be surprised, they didn’t even know what he was yet.
As if reading his mind, Dash suddenly spoke up “By the way, you also never answered when I asked what you are yet. Come to think of it, there’s a lot of stuff that you haven’t answered.” He started laughing a deep, almost maniacal laugh, but toned it down when he saw their faces get worried again. “Ahem. Well, in due time I will answer. But as to what I am, I am me, who else would I be? Is there anyone else you know who is just like me? ‘Oy, that rhymes, heh! But seriously, if you must know, I come from a race called ‘humans’. So to answer your question, I am a human.” He joked as he plugged the hard drive into the computer connected to his TV.
“So, what, do we just call you ‘Human’ then?” Dash snarked “or do you have an actual name?” Dan had to chuckle “You’re getting awful good at this” he replied “But you are correct, you may call me Dan.” Rainbow stuck her tongue out at him in a gesture that belied her sarcastic tone “What can I say? I learned from the best. And Dan, huh? Not exactly a name I’d choose, but fair enough.” “Well what can I say?” quipped Dan “I heard ‘the awesomest pony in Ponyville’ was already taken.”
“Will you just show us how you know this stuff, already?” she sighed. “Fine, fine, you’re no fun” he stuck his tongue out at her, blowing a raspberry, making Fluttershy giggle. Flopping down on the couch, he noticed both ponies were still sitting on the floor. “You know, you guys can join me on the couch here, I don’t bite.” Both ponies, once again, Seemed to have a “D’oh!” moment, and quickly fluttered onto the couch, laying down on their own cushion.
Dan grabbed the mini keyboard off the arm rest, and woke up the computer from its screensaver. He opened the drive’s folder marked “MLPFIM” and selected Season one, Episode one. Hitting the “Play” command and sizing the video to full screen, he looked over at them as he set down the keyboard. “I hope this explains at least some of what you want to know.”
He watched as both ponies’ eyes grew wider the longer they watched. “But that’s…Twilight, and…that’s…me, when she first came to Ponyville, but…I remember this, this was right when Nightmare Moon attacked, but how…how…how…” Rainbow’s eye twitched violently as she tried to understand what she was watching. Come to think of it, Fluttershy wasn’t faring much better, either. “I think that’s enough” Dan said simply, hitting the pause command and closing the media player. “How, what, who, you…how…I….HOW?! WHAT IS THIS?!” Rainbow Dash was the first to speak, if you could call that speaking.
With a sigh, he spoke “Well, as you can see, the world where I’m from…this…is part of a cartoon. A show, to entertain children. A lot of adults started watching it though, because it was a really good show. And it seems to line up perfectly with events in this universe, though I am speculating highly on that. Which, by the way, Twilight is a princess, right? Got a castle and all?”
“Y-yeah, let me guess, that’s on this show too?” “Yep, season 4, but yes. Also the time she went to a world much like where I’m from.” Both ponies exchanged a wary glance. “Um…Dan, I have an idea. But you might not like it.” Rainbow Dash finally spoke.
“Well, out with it, then.” “Um…I remember the time Twilight went to that world, but I never really believed all that she told me about what she was. I can…now see. But, she might be able to help you.” “O-oh yeah,” Fluttershy finally jumped in, no longer content staying quiet “She’s the pony to ask when you need to know something. Maybe…maybe she can help you.” “But how do we get you there, is the question” Rainbow Dash thought out loud “I would assume you want to get there fast, but…I don’t think you can fly. And quite honestly, I’d like to get there as quick as possible too, I’d like my brain to stop hurting.”
Dan had to chuckle. All humor aside though, now was his chance. “Well, if it’s getting somewhere fast you desire, I can do that, and I don’t need wings to do it. Just tell me where to go and we’ll get there, c’mon!” He exclaimed, rising from the couch. “Umm, how exactly are we going to get there fast if you’ve got no wings? Can you run super fast or something? And where are you going?” Dash asked rapidly. Dan stopped mid-step, and turned to face them, an almost feral glint in his eyes “You remember that ‘blue thing’? It goes fast. We’re getting in it. We will get there fast. I want answers. Now let’s go.” This was a side of Dan the ponies had not seen yet. Nervously, they got up off the couch, and followed him, neither seeming to want to lead the other.
They followed Dan back out the front door, and he closed the front door after them. They walked slowly up to his blue baby, and studied it carefully, unsure as to what it really was. He walked up behind them, and popped the door open, revealing the back seat. “This is called, a car” he explained “It’s like a cart, except that you sit in it and it moves itself. I have two cars, so this one you can just call the R32, cause that’s what it is.” “R32?” Rainbow looked confused “what kind of name is that?” “Well,” Explained Dan “It’s actually called the Volkswagen Golf Mark5 R32. Like I said, just call it the R32, it’s easier.” With a nod, this was agreed to be the better nickname. “Alright,” he said, a little impatient now that he had someone he could talk to about his predicament “enough talk, up you get.”
“Um, Dan?” Rainbow asked as Dan strapped himself into the driver’s seat “wouldn’t it be better for me to fly ahead?” “Haha, no, no, you’re gonna love this, just trust me.” Was the only response he gave as he jumped the clutch and kicked over the engine, also making note to immediately pause the music the iPod would begin blasting 4 seconds later. Both ponies jumped and shrunk a bit at the noise of the engine, though Fluttershy more than Dash. “Um…” Rainbow asked from the back seat again “is it supposed to be hissing like that?” “Just trust me” Dan reassured “that hiss is what gives this thing the oomph it has.” Done explaining for now, Dan dropped it in reverse, and slowly backed out of the driveway, trying not to bust out laughing at the reaction of the two ponies in the back seat. It was like taking a dog for its first ride in the car, but with 100% more pony. Priceless. He could kill for a camera right now.
“Alright” He warned as he lined up on the road, and slid the shift knob home for first gear “you might want to hang on to something, I wasn’t kidding when I said this thing has oomph to it.” And that was all he gave them before another dirt-spraying takeoff, much like this morning’s, but he made sure to swing the ass end around a bit, just for fun. Reaching 4th gear, he glanced into the rear view mirror to see both ponies pinned to the seat by the force, but both had entirely different looks on their faces. Fluttershy’s was one of horror, while Dash’s was one of wonder. Dan chuckled and thumbed the button for the window nearest her, dropping it open, then stabbing the clutch and kicking to 5th gear.
“AAWWWWWWWWW YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHH! THIS BUCKING ROCKS!” Rainbow nearly screamed as she stuck her head out the window and let the wind blow her mane back “I don’t even have to leave the ground, that’s the best part!”
“Well you better tell me where to go right quick” Dan yelled over the din in her direction “cause we’re coming up on the town awful fast, and I’d rather not make a grand entrance at almost 70 miles an hour.” This snapped her out of her enjoyment, if only slightly. “R-right! Turn left as soon as the road widens out! That’ll take you around behind most of it!”
“Can do!” Exclaimed Dan as he stabbed the clutch, dropped to third, then dumped it back out, turning left, oversteering to swing the rear end, then cranking the wheel right to whip the car into a perfect corner on dirt, stabbing the clutch briefly once more to straighten the car out, then punching it and kicking to 4th again. (side note, do NOT try this at home, it’s not as easy as it sounds!) Looking in the rear view, he had to laugh at the sight of the two ponies jumbled up in the back seat, neither really being on top of the either. It was a pastel mess. “I probably should have told you to hang on” he said between chuckles, while keeping an eye forward to watch the road. “SWEET CELESTIA, THIS THING CAN DO THAT?!” was about the only thing Dash could say. “Hell yeah, it can do that!” Came his response.
He had to interrupt his little laugh session though, as he could see the crystal castle fast approaching. It wasn’t exactly hard to miss, y’know, being a giant glowing purple castle and all, but he had to make sure he didn’t slam straight into it. Pushing in the clutch, he gradually made his approach, arriving in 2nd and pulling up sideways in front of the castle. He parked it so it was basically parallel with the front wall, pulled it out of gear, ripped the E-brake, and killed the engine. Then he looked back.
“That….was….AWESOME!!!!” Screamed Dash, clearly having enjoyed the ride, while Fluttershy looked queasy. Hoping he would not be the cause of the yellow pony vomiting, he jumped out and pulled open the back door to let them out. Dash hopped out, wings buzzing, a smile all but glued to her face. She seemed to have completely forgotten about the mental overload experienced earlier, as well as the strange creature she had barely met. Fluttershy stumbled out though, and she almost fell, if not for the fact that Dan caught her and held her steady. She wobbled on her hooves, but stopped looking as green as before, so he didn’t feel quite so bad. “Sorry about that” he said nervously, rubbing the back of his head “I probably should have checked that you were okay with the ride as well.” “It’s…it’s okay” she replied shakily, still just a teeny bit green “you didn’t know.” “Yeah, well, I’ll be more careful next time, if you decide to ride next time.” To which she nodded and smiled, grateful that he was concerned for her. Perhaps he wasn’t such a bad person after all. She already had figured on this long ago, but it was still going to take a while before either of them fully trusted him.
After he closed the door to the car and locked it (mostly out of habit than anything), the trio set off towards the front entrance of the castle. As they walked, Dan made a mental note that ponies all in all weren’t really that tall, about 3 ½ feet tall or so, coming up just past his waist line. Entering the castle, Dan found it just slightly odd that they had made it all this way past ponyville and had not seen a single pony, save for the two that took a ride with him. Figuring they were all probably either busy or hiding, he shrugged it off. “So, where do you think Twilight will be?” he asked. “Uhh, probably in the library. Heh, egghead.” Dash replied with a snigger.
Turning the corner, they entered the library, which quite honestly looked bigger than the entire castle looked from the outside. Dan wondered idly if there was a brown earth pony hanging around somewhere in this world. If there was, he was going to have some questions for him.
The sound of turning pages could be heard, coming from the lavender alicorn mare, who had her back to them. Her ears perked up at the sound of footsteps, and she called out behind her “Spike, did you bring the-“ Her eyes widened as she took in the sight before her. “You’re….not Spike” she breathed.
“Umm, no” he replied nervously “I’m not.”
