Pony

by RainbowsAreMagic

Rating: everyone
Tags: Tragedy, Human, Original Character, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 6392

A brony reflects that coming to Equestria wasn't the best thing that ever happened to him.

(First-person, parody, reflective)

A brony gets the chance go to Equestria, but what he finds isn't what he was hoping for.

Published 2012-12-10 21:20:02 UTC
Last updated 2012-12-10 21:20:02 UTC

Chapter 1

I suppose I should explain myself. I'm a pony, in a land known as Equestria. I wasn't always, though. Once, I was a human, probably a lot like you. I worked as a programmer for a software company, designing computer programs. All that changed when I got a wish.

They say that if you get the chance, if you are offered a wish, that you should never take it. And if you do, ask for something simple. Something that won't go wrong. Maybe a nice sandwich or something. I don't really remember who said that, but it's true. Believe me, it's true. I would know.

You see, I was offered a wish, and I took it. Like many bronies, one of my fantasies was to actually go to Equestria, and so that's what I chose. It sounds like a pretty great deal, right? I even got to choose what kind of pony to be. I wanted to be a pegasus so I could fly. I thought that would be perfect for me.

I should have listened to those wise, forgotten words. I should have turned down the offer without a thought. If I knew then what I know now, I think I would have.

But I was young and foolish. I made my wish, and it was granted to me. I found myself in Equestria, in the form of a tan pegasus.

But that's not what you want to hear, is it? You want my story. You want to know why, if I had a second chance to decide, I wouldn't have made the decision that I did. You want to know why it didn't work.

Sure. I'll tell you, I guess. I have nothing better to do, and if hearing my tale saves another from the fate I found, it's the least I can do.

* * *

A portal opened as the space before me was pushed out of the way. It gave me a headache just looking at the thing. It was kinda cliché, too. I didn't really care, though. Cliché or not, it was a portal to Equestria.

I walked through, and the world fell apart. Not the one back on Earth, but my personal world. It was like looking at a broken mirror, when I was in that place between worlds. A thousand worlds, or perhaps a hundred thousand. I don't rightly remember most of the things I saw, and from what I do remember, I'm quite okay with that.

I felt my body changing, bones grinding against each other as they changed shape. The pain was unbelievable. I heard a voice screaming in mortal agony. It took a little while for me to realize it was my own voice, changed by the transformation. Eventually, the pain overcame my weakening grasp on consciousness, and everything went black.

Have you ever woken up from a nightmare, only to find it wasn't really a dream? That's how I felt when I regained consciousness. Everything hurt. Things I didn't even used to have hurt, and so did things that I'd once had but didn't anymore. When I opened my eyes, everything was painfully bright, like I'd been sitting in the dark for hours. The first time I tried to move, a spark of pain shot up my arm—no, my leg. Finally, I stood up.

Then I tried walking. Walking is simple, right? Just put one foot in front of the other. Well, it wasn't that simple. I fell after a single step. It took hours to make it a dozen feet, or at least it felt like it did. I had no way of keeping track then. It's easy to forget our Earthbound blessings. Clocks, radios, and other things.

I stopped at one point to look around me. Not another living thing in sight, save a few uncaring plants in the dusty soil. The ground itself was a reddish color, hard and unyielding, and the plants similarly dull. There was a road in the distance, but no other signs of civilization.

Then I remembered my wings. Maybe walking wasn't the solution anyway. I flapped them a few times, experimentally. They provided just enough lift, all unbalanced, to send me sprawling into the dust.

At least nopony saw my embarrassing attempts to reorient myself after arriving in Equestria, however long it had taken.

Eventually, I made my way to the road I had seen earlier. It was a simple affair, and looked like it hadn't been used in years, though ruts still remained.

With no other real options, I followed the road, slowly becoming more confident as I walked, falling less and less. After what felt like a long time, I found a crossroads. The road I was on ended, but I could head in either of two other directions, opposite each other. One sign, the older of the two, read "Alvus Formarum". The other indicated a road to a place called Dodge Junction. I didn't have a clue what that first sign meant; it was probably some other language. Judging by the age of the sign, the place might not even exist anymore. other hand, "Dodge Junction" looked like a much more recent addition. I didn't recognize the name, but it was civilization, and that sounded like a good plan. Anything to get out of that wasteland.

Dodge Junction was everything I expected it to be: not much. It seemed to be a railway stop for the Equestrian train system. I was so happy when I saw that. I could take a train, and get somewhere with this whole adventure of mine.

Suffice to say, that didn't happen. Tickets are needed to ride the train, and bits needed to get those. I had nothing to my name. And so there I was at the train station, realizing just how little nothing really is.

That was when I saw her. No, not the love of my life, but hopefully the solution to my problem. Cherries Jubilee, the owner of a local cherry orchard. Then I remembered where I knew Dodge Junction from: Applejack had once fled there in shame, trying to scrape up some bits. Maybe I could do the same.

I talked to her, and explained that I just needed a job and maybe a place to stay, and she set me up as a cherry sorter.

It didn't pay much, though, and paying for meals and a room took up most of my wages. I got to keep around one in five bits that I earned. It wasn't much, and I knew I was being exploited. There wasn't a lot I could do about that, though. It was a job, and that was at least something. Besides, I wouldn't need it long.

Days passed, and my life became a simple one. I would wake in the morning, eat breakfast, and work all day, with a break for lunch. Then I would get dinner, and go to sleep, exhausted.

It took most of a week, but I was finally able to save up enough bits to buy a train ticket to Ponyville via Canterlot, along with enough food to last the trip. It was more of the same marginal fare I'd gotten from Cherries Jubilee, but it was food, and it was cheap.

I rode the train to Canterlot without incident, then changed trains to the Ponyville line. I would have taken one direct, but there's no rail line from Dodge Junction to Ponyville.

You might wonder why I went to Ponyville. I was intimidated by Canterlot, I admit. I was already in a strange body that didn't always do what I wanted it to, and the prospect of a big city wasn't something I felt ready to deal with. I was right, too. They say Canterlot is the most beautiful place in Equestria. They don't mention the crime, or the gangs, or the underground caves where the less-wealthy ponies are forced to live. I didn't know about any of this then, of course, but I also didn't want to take my chances, just in case.

Besides, what brony wouldn't head to Ponyville? The chance to meet Twilight, or Rainbow Dash, or Applejack... it wasn't something I could pass up.

I don't know what I expected when I arrived in Ponyville, but it certainly wasn't what I got. I was greeted by Pinkie Pie, who asked where I had come from. Without really thinking about it, I told her, "I come from a place a little ways south of Dodge Junction." I didn't realize what it was that lay south of Dodge Junction, or I never would have said it.

It was Twilight who reacted to my words, not Pinkie Pie. She had approached while I was distracted by the pink party mare. Her words ring in my memory even now.

"South of Dodge Junction? But there isn't anything south of Dodge Junction, except... it can't be... Alvus Formarum!" I saw fear rising in her eyes as she backed away from me. "Everypony, run!"

The two ponies bolted, and I was left alone to hear the sound of doors slamming all down the street. It was a depressing sound. I wondered, was this how Zecora had felt?

I wandered around the empty town for maybe an hour or two. I saw Carousel Boutique, and the library, and Sugarcube Corner. They were all shuttered tight, and nopony answered when I knocked on the door. Eventually, I found myself on the other side of town, wandering towards Sweet Apple Acres. Maybe Applejack hadn't heard the alarm. I hoped.

As it turned out, she hadn't. I didn't dare actually lie to the Spirit of Honesty—she'd catch me for sure—so I just said I'd rather not talk about where I came from. She didn't seem too concerned about it. She even invited me to join the Apple family for dinner. I think I genuinely smiled for the first time in days.

By that evening, Applejack had offered me a job bucking apples, and had offered to let me stay in an empty barn for as long as she needed the help on the farm. For the first time since I had come to Equestria, I was truly.happy with the state of my life.

The next morning, Applejack introduced me to her friends in Ponyville. There was a certain degree of tension in the air, especially when Twilight warned Applejack away from me. "Stay away from that pony, AJ," she said. "He's from Alvus Formarum! You know, them!"

To my relief, Applejack was nonplussed. "Uh huh. This pegasus, who has shown nothing but decency, is a horrible monster. Sure, Twi."

I'd never known Applejack to be sarcastic like that, but I wasn't about to question it. She was standing up for me, and I didn't want to mess up any chance I had at recovering my reputation in Ponyville.

"Twi, you remember Zecora, don't you? The evil monster from the Everfree who didn't turn out to be so bad after all? You shamed us for judging based on appearances, and this pony doesn't even have that against him. The only thing you have is that he's from some Elvis Forum place."

"First, it's Alvus Formarum, AJ. Second, tell me. What is south of Dodge Junction?"

I spoke up. "There's a big desert..."

Twilight either didn't hear or didn't care. "The Badlands! Furthermore, Alvus Formarum is the only thing left down there, and we all know what that means. Don't we?" That last question was directed at me. As I didn't know, I just looked at her blankly.

"Uh, Twilight?" Applejack interjected. "What exactly is this Elvis Forum (Alvus Formarum!) place anyway? I've never heard of it."

"AJ, Alvus Formarum is, in their own language, the name for the changeling hive! Now do you understand! This pony is a changeling!"

I had to protest. First she called me a monster, and now a changeling. I wasn't sure about monster—my opinion of humanity wasn't exactly stellar—but I was certainly no changeling, and I didn't appreciate being called one.

"Now wait a minute. I'm no changeling. I may not be from around here, and you may not like me because of that. I can respect that. But calling someone a changeling is no small accusation. A changeling. You're telling me that I am a parasitic, soulless, evil creature who hurts others and feeds on their emotions in order to survive.

"You have no right to make an accusation like that without a lot more evidence than you have, Twilight. This... this is not what I would have expected from somepony who is supposed to be a hero of Equestria."

I turned, and fled.

It wasn't the best thing I could have done, in retrospect, but I was hurt, and insulted. I'd come all this way, only to find disappointment. Twilight and her friends were friendly, I'd thought, but I found only fear and hatred.

I ran back to the barn, grabbed my bag (leaving the advance Applejack had given me behind, in my anger), and left town. I wanted to get away from Twilight's unfriendly attitude. I wanted to get away from all of them.

Disillusionment is a terrible thing to go through, especially when the thing you've lost faith in is one of only a few things you still had faith in at all. I was young, and rash, and probably overreacted. I judged everyone based on Twilight's reaction. Even Applejack, who had started to defend me, seemed to have let me down, in her silence. So I left town, and ended up in the Whitetail Woods. I found a cave there, and that became my new home.

I felt kinda bad about the whole thing, once it all ended. Sure, Twilight might as well have run me out of town, (after having had her call me a changeling in public, it was probably inevitable), but I had left Applejack hanging after agreeing to help her with the harvest. Then again, I probably wouldn't have been much use anyway. You see, I was a computer programmer in my old life. My body was not well-suited to physical labor, and apparently the transformation had not improved this. Applejack was a fair pony—she would doubtless pay me well for my work—but it wasn't really work I could do.

My life in the Whitetail Woods was not a happy one. I was alone, and both humans and ponies are social creatures: we aren't meant to live alone. I scraped by, one day at a time.

Living alone in a cave in the middle of a large, uninhabited area leaves you with a lot of time on your hands, and not a lot to do with it. I found that out firsthand. I had a lot of time to think about what had happened in Ponyville. About what went wrong. What I could have done better. If I hadn't said the things I did, would things have turned out better? I didn't know then, and I still don't.

There's only so long that you can feel sorry for yourself before you have to move on. For me, it was a day and a night before I was able to move past the disappointment, self-pity, and self-doubt I had been facing. Eventually, I had to look towards the future, because I didn't want to live in a cave for the rest of my life.

I woke up in the morning, and I was hungry. I had no food, and nopony around to buy any from, even if I did have the little pouch with the bits left over from working for Cherries Jubilee. Even still, that wouldn't last long. I needed to find a way of making some money. I briefly considered returning to the cherry farm in Dodge Junction, but that would have required bits, too. Perhaps I could make it as a tradespony? No, I had no skills in that area when I was human, and this pony body didn't do much to help my coordination. I wasn't used to it yet. When I had fled from Ponyville, it was instinct. I wasn't thinking about running, I was thinking about escaping, and my body's natural instincts took care of the rest.

I couldn't work as a weather pony without the ability to fly. I had the wings, but not the skills. My imagination filled with images of Rainbow Dash laughing at me as I tried to fly, failing miserably. I considered taking on a mail or newspaper route, but I'd have the same problem. The image then was of Derpy laughing at me. That one was even worse.

Maybe I could serve the ponies of the world. Prove that I could be somepony more. I could return to Ponyville as a firepony, or maybe a guard. They would respect that.

I decided then what I would do. I would make my way to Canterlot and make something of myself, then I could go back to Ponyville and prove to Twilight and her friends that they had been wrong. I smiled. Things were going to be better, I was sure of it.

Chapter 2

I traveled to Canterlot. The city was magnificent. Of all the descriptions I'd read of the place, not one did it justice. The streets were full of ponies, most going about their business, but some talking to one another, some eating at tables outside little cafes. Ponies doing everything you could imagine. It was like a human city, but with ponies instead. I don't really know why that surprised me, but it did. What had I expected? I don't really know.

Over it all loomed the great castle of the pony princesses. If Canterlot was magnificent, it was breathtaking. Worked in white stone, it rose above even the tallest buildings in the city. I must have looked like a foal, I was looking around so much, but I'd never seen such wonders before in all my life.

Then I shook my head, remembering why I was there. I needed to find a way to make something of myself. Maybe a firepony? I could do that. I went to the fire station, and asked if they were hiring.

"I'm sorry, friend, but I can't help you. We can't hire you without proper documentation, because we need that in order to do a background check. You sound eager to make something of yourself, and I can applaud the initiative you took in coming here, but I can't help you."

I suppose I should have expected that. A fire department can't hire just anypony; they need to be sure that the ponies they hire are ones with integrity, ones who they can trust to do what is right. Sure, I met those requirements, but they had no assurance of that.

Then it occurred to me: maybe I can get help. I went to the castle, and told the guard, "I need to see Princess Celestia. It's important."

He laughed. "It's always important. But you're an unusual fellow. Fully grown, and yet a bare flank. She might just be intrigued enough to talk to you."

I blinked, and the guard went on. "I'll tell you what: I'll put your name on the list for open court today. I shouldn't, but I've got the feeling you need help, and I've learned to trust my instincts."

Finally, something was going right. "Thank you so much," I replied quickly. "This means a lot to me."

"I'll just need to see your proof of identity, and then I can put you on the list. Any kind of ID will do, as long as it has a pict-"

I cut him off. "I don't have anything. According to the records here, I don't exist. That's why I need to see Princess Celestia."

The guard's face fell. "I'm sorry, but I can't help you, then. About a month ago, there was a changeling who was able to sneak in under the guise of a petitioner. That changeling made it past all the guards, all the protection we had in place, and tried to assassinate Princess Celestia. His magic was ineffective, but it showed that our system could be broken. Ever since then, every petitioner has had to have ID with them in order to see the Princess. So, I can't help you."

Everywhere I went, I was suspected. I should have expected no less, and once the guard explained to me what had happened, I agreed with him. I just hated that the same system that kept out changelings kept me out, too.

It seemed that being a firepony was out. Maybe I could be a guard, though. That was respectable.

I signed up for guard training. It was simple, just adding your name to a list. Nothing about proof of identity or ID. As I talked to other recruits, I found out that you don't even have to put your real name, only the one you want as a guard. Many of the other ponies were trying to escape from an unwelcome past. I wasn't the only one with secrets. When I went to sign up, I hesitated for a moment, and then stopped. My name was a human name. It was no name for a pony to use. I thought for a while, then returned to the list and wrote, "Aegis Shield, pegasus."

It was the beginning of a whole new life for me. We had training in the mornings and early afternoons, but our evenings were our own. Every day, I would leave the city, and practice my flying. In a couple days, I was able to get off the ground for more than a few seconds. In a week, I could fly for almost a minute without crashing. By the time I had progressed to the pegasus-specific training, I could fly about as well as most other ponies.

The training was rigorous. It ranged from hoof-to-hoof combat to drills to strength training. I threw myself into it with a fervor unlike anypony else. When other recruits were amazed at my dedication, I always told them the same thing: "This new life is all I have. Why wouldn't I dedicate myself to it?"

We took classes on honorable conduct, law, and Equestrian civil rights. We studied historical events, and the geography of Equestria itself. I studied harder than I had ever studied before, determined to be the best guard Canterlot had seen in decades.

At the end of the training, I graduated at the top of the class. I'd gotten perfect marks in every course, and impressed many of the instructors. The sergeant in charge of combat tactics once told me I fought better than any recruit he'd seen in years.

* * *

There wasn't a ceremony, but everypony know when a trainee had graduated. They received their own set of armor, precisely fitted to the wearer by the castle blacksmith. This was no patchwork set like the armor used in training. It wasn't magical, but with proper care it would be as silent as the pony wearing it, never locking up and never failing.

"Congratulations, Aegis Shield. You have done well. There remains but one small thing, a technicality, really. I am aware that you have used a false name while you are here, and as a guard, your past crimes will no longer be held against you." He must have thought I did it to avoid my past, like many of the other trainees. "I need to know what your old identity was, so that we can clear your name of any outstanding warrants and such. This is your new life, and you don't need to be haunted by the one you used to lead."

That was easy enough. "Is there anything else?"

"Yes, Aegis. We'll need proof that you are the same pony who you claim to be, when you tell us who you are, and so that we know you aren't a changeling or something like that. It's an old rule, and kind of out of date these days, but we have to follow it."

Hearing that, I nearly died inside.

* * *

"If you have no documentation, we can't verify your past identity, and the rule says we have to." He hoofed me a small piece of paper. "This pass will give you safe passage in Canterlot for the rest of the day. You will not be arrested, as long as you commit no new crimes. If you are a criminal, I suggest you leave the city while the pass lasts. I wish I didn't have to say this, especially under such unfortunate circumstances, but goodbye, Aegis."

"Please, sir! Isn't there some way that I could prove I'm not a changeling? If there is anything I can do to prove it, I will. Anything at all!

The captain looked at me, surprised. "As it happens, I have a spell to detect changelings, but it-"

"I'll take your test, sir. Cast your spell, and let me prove myself." My determination was absolute. I did not just spend six months of my life training to be a guard only to be stopped by something like this.

"I would not normally do this. The spell is a difficult and tiring one to perform, but after your success in training, I will make an exception. We can't afford to let a technicality rob us of one of our best trainees. I will cast the spell, and reveal what is hidden. If you are truly what you claim to be, you will feel nothing. If you have any doubts, I suggest you leave now, as this spell is not friendly to those who attempt to deceive it."

"I have no doubts, sir."

The pony's horn lit and I after a moment I was enveloped in a magical field. Suddenly, my whole body went rigid in agony. I heard a voice screaming, and then realized it was my own. Immediately, the captain ended the spell. His previously benevolent expression was gone, replaced by one of restrained anger.

"If you were truly a pony, you would not have reacted to that spell. Therefore, as you are clearly not a pony, you are something else pretending to be a pony. What are you? Reveal your true form!" I remember his words to this day.

"I'm sorry, sir, but I can't." I knew then, seeing his reaction, that there was nothing I could do.

"That was a mistake, imposter. You now represent a potential threat to the safety of this land and her people, and I must take that seriously, however much promise you may have shown in training. If you will not reveal your true form voluntarily… Guards, seize him!"

The guards hesitated for just a moment. I had become friends with many of the guards, and they were in shock that I might have deceived them so. That moment of hesitation was all I needed. My eyes flashed around the room. Door: blocked by two guards. Closet: no exit. Window: closed, but unobstructed. There was a crash of breaking glass as I burst through the window into the crisp, outside air.

"After him! Don't let him get away!" Shining Armor cried out.

The guards were slowed down by their armor, however, and mine had been removed for the test. I knew that if I were to be caught now, it would be the end of me, and the adrenaline coursing through my body made me faster still.

The guard training had made me strong, my dedication to it more so, and I flew far from Canterlot that day. One by one, the armored guards fell back, exhausted by having to fly so quickly while so weighted down. I had escaped Canterlot, just as I had escaped Ponyville. It left the same bad taste in my mouth.

Chapter 3

I finally decided I would return to Dodge Junction. I could not live in this cave. It was no life I wanted to live, not when any choice remained to me. I knew that if I went far enough away, the guards would leave me in peace, if they ever found me at all.

My decision made, I made my way to the train tracks that led to Dodge Junction, a ways out from Ponyville, and waited for a train to pass by. I had no bits for a ticket, so I would have to be sneaky about my transportation. As the train passed by, I leapt up from the bushes into flight, quickly catching up with the it and catching hold of the last car. I pulled myself onto the balcony on the end of the car and settled in for the long ride to Dodge Junction.

A little past halfway there, I was caught. The conductor, as I had expected, threw me off the train, but the town was now well within my flight range. I would have left the train before we arrived anyway, so it wasn't any great loss to have been found out. The conductor grumbled something about paperwork, which I ignored as I flew away. I beat the train to the station, and couldn't resist a jaunty little wave at the angry conductor as the train pulled in, doubtless adding to his irritation.

In Dodge Junction, there is always work to be found, and ponies who don't ask too many questions. I got my old job back with Cherries Jubilee, with better terms this time since it wasn't going to be such a temporary affair as it had been before. I muttered something about "things not going as I'd hoped" and that was enough for her.

It wasn't easy work. Sorting cherries requires constant attention, getting the right colors into the right buckets and keeping an eye out for bad fruit at the same time. I didn't really have a talent for it, so Jubilee moved me to the cherry picking team.

Everywhere in the orchard, you could see earth ponies on ladders, picking cherries. It was a lot easier for me, being a pegasus. I could simply fly up to the tree, pick the ripened cherries, and move on, without any fumbling about with a ladder. I excelled there, and I managed a substantial income, even after food and lodging. The difference I made was enough that another two ponies had to be moved from picking to sorting, in order to keep up. The ponies in question came to me later that day.

"Aegis!" I'd decided to keep my new name from Canterlot. I had no other name as a pony, after all. In all my travels, there had been nopony named Michael or Rupert or any other human name. If I wanted to fit in, I needed to avoid standing out. "You're the new pegasus picker, right?"

"Y-yes?" I was a little worried about my future, specifically whether or not I'd be welcome in town anymore if I hurt these ponies when they attacked me. I had no question as to whether I could defeat them - I was top of my class in guard training, after all - but could I defeat them without anypony getting hurt?

"Thanks." The expression on my face must have been priceless. "Cherries Jubilee knew we didn't like picking cherries, but she needed us in the fields too much to be able to move us to sorting. With you here, we don't have to pick anymore!"

I blinked, speechless.

"You're an odd one, Aegis," one of them commented as the two turned to go home. I had nothing to say to that either.

* * *

I worked there for years. I never forgot, however, what had happened in Canterlot. I let myself get too sure in my security, and I had to run, leaving everything behind. Well over a hundred bits, gone, not to mention everything else I owned. With that in mind, I resolved not to let it happen again in Dodge Junction. I saved up a number of bits, and once a month, I'd take a couple days off and go to my cave in the Whitetail Woods, slowly turning it from a bare cave to a true refuge, somewhere a pony could live.

It was a good thing that I had done so, too. Over the years, I grew to believe that I had been forgotten in Canterlot and elsewhere. Little did I know that the story of "the one who got away" was a common one told in the guard barracks. I'd caused quite the stir when I'd fled, and ponies remembered that for a long time. So when a guard showed up in Dodge Junction, I didn't pay any mind to it. He talked to everypony, very casually, like he was on vacation or something.

When he came to talk to me, without thinking, I introduced myself as Aegis Shield. He didn't even blink.

"Aegis Shield," he told me, "we need to talk."

It had been a long time since I had taken all those lessons in being a guard, or I would have seen what he was doing. I wouldn't have let him isolate me from my friends among my fellow harvesters.

Before I knew it, I was surrounded by three guards.

The first one spoke again. "You know, Aegis, you're a legend among the Guard. They call you 'the one who got away.' Top of your class, and all that; but secretly a spy. Then, when you were discovered, you actually escaped."

The second one continued, "After you disappeared, Shining Armor was like a pony possessed. He tried everything he could to find you, but all he found was where you had been before you came to us. He was convinced you were a spy for the changelings."

The third spoke. "You disappeared. Vanished. You left no trail to follow. Nopony saw you, nopony heard of you. Not until around a week ago. I was going over some old files, and one of them mentioned a tan pegasus with no cutie mark caught on the train with no ticket, at about the time you disappeared. Your single mistake that led us right to you."

The second guard looked down for a moment. "We have a great deal of respect for you, Aegis Shield. We didn't want to do this, but my friend here mentioned that he might have caught your trail, Shining Armor overheard, and he instantly sent us out here to find you. We didn't want it to end this way, Aegis Shield, but nopony escapes the Canterlot Guard. Not forever. Not even you."

The whole time they were talking, I was analyzing them. Two unicorns and a pegasus, all wearing armor.

All three of them jumped when I laughed. "Do the stories ever talk about how I escaped? The reason they didn't catch me?"

The looks they shared between them were all the answer I needed. "I escaped because they didn't plan well enough. They didn't take into account the advantages I had over them. And neither have you."

With that, I leapt into the air, dashing over their heads. The unicorns were too stunned to react in time, and I was quickly out of the range at which their magic could have stopped me from getting away. The pegasus was a little quicker, and took off after me.

The unicorns normally could have attacked me at range, and probably hurt me enough that I would have had to land, and thus they could have captured me. However, they couldn't do so in this case, because their pegasus friend was in the way, and they wouldn't risk hitting him by mistake.

I was being chased by one pegasus. Once before, I was chased by three pegasi from Shining Armor's elite guard, the best of the best. Just as it had then, the difficulty of maintaining a speed that could catch me was increased by the weight of the armor he wore. I went faster, forcing him to tire himself out just to keep up with me. He was no elite guard, and it wasn't long before he gave up, and I escaped once again.

My old lessons in misdirection and evasion returned to me. Once he dropped from the chase, I returned to Dodge Junction. Under my own name, I bought two train tickets, one to Fillydelphia and one to Vanhoover. With those two trains, I could reach anywhere in Equestria. I gave both of them away, so there would be no report of somepony not using their ticket. I never returned to the orchard to say goodbye to my friends, as that would have been expected. Instead, I flew east.

Once I was out of sight of the town, I changed my heading, of course. I flew south, then east, avoiding the town, and went to my cave in the Whitetail Woods.

It was a pretty inconspicuous place, altogether. There was no nearby road, and it wasn't visible from above because of all the trees, not to mention the fact that the door was well inside the cave itself anyway. I'd furnished the place tolerably well, but it was no palace. Even so, it made for a decent home. Sometimes, I would fly to Appleloosa and do some trading, buy some food. I'd help with the apple harvest to earn some bits, but I didn't buy a house there. It was always a temporary thing.

* * *

I grew old in that cave. I spent most of my life alone, and eventually I become too old to keep working. My supply of bits will dwindle, over the years, but I'm not worried. The supply I have is enough to keep me fed for a while. It's the loneliness that really gets to me. When I die, I will be alone, and nopony will remember me, save as the pony who got away from the Canterlot Guard. That is… something, I suppose. For me, it isn't enough.

It isn't enough.

You have heard my story. I hope that my sharing it will save some poor soul from a similar fate, because I wouldn't wish mine on anypony. Now please, go. Leave an old pony in peace.