The Dishwasher: Equestria

by Craterfist

Rating: teen
Tags: Dark, Crossover, Alternate Universe
Length: 3509

A crossover with the Dishwasher video game series.

Yuki escaped the Iffenhaus Space Prison, only to find herself on a new planet, with a new body.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2012-04-12 00:51:04 UTC

Prologue

A/N: The Dishwasher: Vampire Smile is an arcade game available for download on the next-gen consoles. If you have not played the game, you may be confused at some parts.

YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.

Prologue

I had a perfect nightmare on a starry torrid sea.

Yuki hobbled as fast as she could to the cockpit of the Iffenhaus Space Prison orbiting Earth. She was thrown in here when she was framed as the mastermind behind a series of terrorist attacks. She broke out, killing the guards with a newfound superhuman strength, allowing her to rip them limb from limb with her bare hands. She was fast and agile enough to run on walls, and even ceilings.

As she tore through the ranks of the guards in her escape, she found a new Blood Warp ability, allowing her to turn into a mist of blood and reassemble somewhere nearby. Se used this ability to kill the Warden, though not before having her left arm cut off in the Warden's final act. She had killed a high-ranking officer and took his sword, thin and curved, wickedly sharp, which Yuki lovingly named Conviction, and chose to wield the sword backhand.

At the moment, however, Conviction would only be used as a krutch as Yuki sat down in the pilot's chair. She swept her matted black hair out of her face, and had to readjust her gray tank top and black sweatpants, which were both slightly loose due to her malnutrition as a prisoner. Aside from that, they were horribly stained with blood, and very sticky, as well as her bare feet.

Yuki furiously typed in commands with her right hand, her left arm, now a stump, still dripping blood periodically. She cursed her luck; the mainframe was locked down. Swiftly, and likely against better judgement, she drew Conviction and thrust the blade into the console. The screen read /MANUAL OVERIDE ENGAGED/, to Yuki's delight.

Yuki took the wheel, so to speak, and typed in a direction for the ship to travel. As she typed in the command, her luck struck again; the console shorted out, causing the ship to lose any sense of direction and control, Yuki held on to the seat as the ship spun off into some random direction of the galaxy, all the while with Yuki yelling curses that would make a sailor cringe.

After about an hour of senseless flying, Yuki looked up to see a new planet flying into view. It looked like Earth, but the land masses looked... Different, somehow. Yuki once again gripped the seat as the ship broke the planet's atmosphere.

That was when the wierd shit started happening.

As the atmospheric barrier passed over Yuki, or rather, the cockpit, Yuki began feeling horrible pain, as her bones began to twist in ways even hers are not supposed to with her natural healing. She was in so much pain, she failed to notice her hand and left arm changing into hooves, her face elongating, her knees contorting to face behind her. The ship took a whole two minutes after entry to hit the ground, and by then, if the pain had not rendered Yuki unconscious, the impact did.

Chapter 1

Chapter 1

Twilight watched from her telescope as the enormous metal object pierced the atmosphere and began to slowly descend to the ground. She saw, or rather felt, the object touch down in the middle of the Everfree Forest. Wasting no time, she grabbed a saddlebag, and filled it with food, a first-aid kit, and a map.

She shook Spike awake in his bed. "Spike! Wake up!"

The baby dragon's eyes shot open. "GAAAHHHHHH!" He looked up at the unicorn and asked "Why'da wake me up?"

Twilight grabbed Spike with her magic and placed him on her back. "No time, Spike. An object entered from outer space and landed in the Everfree forest. We are gonna check it out."

Spike rolled his eyes and quickly fell back asleep on Twilight as the pair made their way out to the crash site.

*****

Yuki woke to find herself thrown at least two hundred meters from the wreckage of the Iffenhaus, which had crashed in a huge clearing surrounded by thick woods. She tried to stand up, but quickly found herself face planting.

"Shit..." Yuki tried to crawl on all fours, or three in her case, and found it much easier. She looked around to see her beloved Conviction stuck in a tree. She hobbled over to it, sat down, and reached to take it.

She screamed when she saw her hands, or lack of them.

Where was once her hand was a hoof, hard, yet covered in velvety gray fur. Her left arm, now a foreleg, was still a stump, though it had since clotted over and stopped bleeding. Yuki looked down to see not her body, but the body of a gray horse-like creature, complete with matted black mane and tail.

Yuki was losing it. She had killed hundreds of guards in her escape without a second thought. But this... This was too much. She wrapped her whole foreleg around the sword, finally managing to pull it out, and held to it tightly, the only thing that seemed to remain unchanged since her escape. She sat down against the tree and let her head hang in thought and sorrow.

*****

Twilight and Spike, still asleep, had arrived at the entrance to the forest near Fluttershy's cottage when a shrill scream was heard echoing from deep within. Spike woke with a start and hopped of Twilight's back. The lights in the cottage flickered on, and Fluttershy was seen peeking out from her bedroom window.

She saw Twilight and asked "Twilight? What are you doing out here?"

Twilight called back "I came to check out that object that crashed in the middle of the Everfree forest."

Fluttershy cringed and almost inaudiably responded "Good luck."

Twilight asked "Did you hear that scream? Somepony could be hurt!"

Fluttershy's original timidness seemed to disappear as she came out the front door with a large medical kit, more complete than Twilight's, and walked over to Twilight.

Fluttershy turned and looked at Angel Bunny who was standing in the doorway. "Be good Angel."

Angel saluted and closed the cottage door.

Twilight turned to Fluttershy. "Ready?" She asked simply.

Fluttershy nodded, and the trio headed into the forest.

*****

Yuki sat there, not thinking about anything, just repeating a poem she wrote.

I had a perfect nightmare on a starry torrid sea.

I am cast to prison at a crippled demon's plea.

The demon has three faces, all are laughing down at me.

The banker with his filthy lucre sets the game astride.

The general, with raging might, lets forth a battle cry.

The judge locks now the metal tomb where I am ment to die.

But vengeance is a brutal beast, not held by any cell.

My wit is steel, my blade is wet, so sound the Reaper's bell.

Banker, General, and Judge, you all shall burn in Hell!

Yuki chuckled at the irony of her situation. She certainly wasn't going to kill those three bastards anytime soon, not from where she was. Yuki finally got up and grabbed the sword with her mouth, which felt easier than she thought it should. Intrigued, she swung her head back and forth, able to cleanly perform strikes with her weapon. She carefully walked her way into the forest, careful not to let her sword catch on anything.

As Yuki walked through the forest with no clear direction, she heard a growl behind her. She spun around to find herself face-to-face with a large wolf that seemed to be made of wood, which Yuki quickly nicknamed 'Timberwolf'. The Timberwolf lunged at Yuki ready to sink it's gangs into her chest.....

....... Only to snap at thin air, with a fine spray of blood coating it's body, and the pissed-off pony in a combat stance behind it. Yuki warped again, this time above the wolf, and plunged straight down, piercing the sword straight through the beast's back. The wolf yelped in intense pain as tree sap poured from the wound. Yuki leapt off and landed in front of the wolf, where she unleashed a flurry of strikes on it's face, all the while unleashing a primal cry of rage. As her last blow fell, Yuki saw it, blue sparks emanating from the wolf's body, indicating it can be finished off. Yuki tooke the chance and plunged her sword down the beast's throat and ripped upward to deliver an effective kill.

*****

Twilight, Fluttershy, and Spike briskly walked along the pathway. Twilight halted the group and pulled out her map.

She read the map and thought aloud. "So, we turn off the path seventy degrees here, head inward four miles, and we should be right-"

Twilight was cut off by a loud yelp of pain, followed by an angry scream/roar. Twilight stated "Come on, it's this way!"

Fluttershy spoke up "Um, shouldn't we, you know, avoid scary noises?" Spike nodded in agreement.

Twilight shook her head and responded "No, we have to see what that was. If I remember correctly, that was a timber wolf. Timber wolves don't go down easy. For all we know, it could have something to do with the object that crashed in this very forest."

Spike and Fluttershy looked at each other and realized how pointless it was to argue going back. They both sighed and nodded.

Twilight, looking satisfied, led the group off the trail, into the depths of the forest.

Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Yuki, now covered in tree sap, slowly continued on her way. She honestly didn't have a clue where she was going, but she knew if she just went in one direction for a while, she would get out of this forest eventually. She eventually came across a calm river, perfect to get this sap off of her body. She left Conviction on the shoreline and wadded in. She sat down in the river, letting the water reach her shoulders, and began to rub the sap off with her one fore hoof. When she was satisfied she was dry, she climbed out of the river and shook herself off. As she looked herself over for any leftover muck, she noticed a tattoo of her sword on her flank. She found the mark curious, but appropriate, considering her skill with the sword.

Yuki picked her sword back up in her mouth and wadded to the opposite shore, shook herself off once more, and began walking. However, not a second after taking her first step, a large blue bear with a pelt like the night sky burst out of the underbrush, roaring angrily at the intruder on it's territory. Yuki took up a combat stance and prepared for another fight.

(Yo dawg. Listen to this while you read the fight for the full experience.)

[URSA MAJOR

BIG BAD BEAR BRUISER

The bear took a running start at Yuki, who warped to the left and slashed the beast's entire right side as it ran past. The bear turned and wildly swiped at Yuki, who got knocked back, but quickly recovered and warped into the air above the beast and came crashing down with her sword, cutting into the beast's spine. The beast roared and began to buck wildly, trying to shake off the blade and the pony gripping it, only to drive the blade in further. At last, Yuki pulled her blade out and leapt off the beast. She noticed the bear was now having trouble coordinating it's motions, likely due to Yuki damaging the main spinal cord. The bear decided to run full speed at her again, only to have the pony slide between it's paws and slice open it's belly. The bear roared in pain and collapsed into a heap on the ground.

Yuki saw the blue sparks again and took the opening. She warped on top of the bear's head, driving her sword into its eye socket. The bear roared in pain, but did not have the strength to resist. She then pulled her sword out and drove it down again, this time into the neck. The bear let out a gurgle and a spurt of blood from it's mouth, and finally succumbed to death.

(Stop music)

Yuki pulled her sword out and breathed a sigh of relief, only to feel something hard hit her head with incredible force. For the second time today, Yuki slipped back into unconsciousness.

*****

Twilight, Fluttershy, and Spike continued through the forest, Twilight's horn providing the only illumination. Suddenly, the ground shook, and a fearsome roar shook the forest to the core.

Twilight turned to the direction of its source and charged through the trees, forcing Spike and Fluttershy to chase after her.

After five minutes of intense running, constantly interrupted by whimpers of pain and screams of bloody murder, the trio hid on the wood line, right next to the river where the friendly sea serpent helped them across. When the group looked out, Fluttershy began to shake and whimper, while Twilight had to choke down bile, and Spike just stared in horror.

They saw a gray pony with a matted black mane and three legs drive a curved sword through an ursa minor's eye, then through the neck.

Twilight grabbed a branch with her magic and threw it at the pony, striking it hard in the back of the head. She then picked the unconscious pony up with her magic and stated "We need to head back. This pony has a lot to answer for."

Fluttershy was not responding, just staring off into the distance. Spike grabbed her mane and tugged it. She didn't respond, just follow where Spike tugged. The trio plus one headed back to Ponyville, all thoughts of the fallen object forgotten.

*****

Yuki found herself in a hospital hall, the walls covered in blood. She was human again, with both arms, and Conviction in her right hand. She slowly walked down the hall, not really focusing on where she was going. At last, she reached a door. When she tried to open it, she found it was locked. Worse yet, the lights were clicking off, one by one, behind her. As the darkness closed in, Yuki frantically pulled on the door, even swiping at the door with her sword. At last, the door flung open, and Yuki burst inside and shut the door behind her. To her surprise, something banged on the other side of the door. Yuki threw herself against the door, and after about a dozen pushes, the other thing gave up. Yuki turned around only to see a large claw come down and impale her through the gut.

*****

"NOOOO!" Yuki shot up from her sleep, only to find herself as a pony again, and still missing her left foreleg, only this time, it was covered by a prosthetic hoof, made of plastic and metal. Oddly, she could feel the bed sheets under the hoof, and move it just fine. She was in a stark white bed, in a padded room with no other furniture. The only exit was a steel door, which had a large lock on it and a rectangular hole with four vertical bars for a window. Yuki looked around, and just as she suspected, her sword was nowhere to be found.

Yuki climbed out of bed and walked over to the door. She reached up and tested the width of the bars. Surprisingly, she could fit her prosthetic hoof through. With a devilish grin, she used Blood Warp and passed through the bars, her prosthetic hoof sliding between the bars. She stepped down on the other side of the door, in the hallway. Yuki was about to breath a sigh of relief, when some force grabbed her by the neck and forced her to the floor.

She looked up to see a lavender unicorn standing over her, it's horn glowing. Next to it was a white pony with a nurse cap. It looked at her with a mix of curiosity and contempt. At last it spoke.

"So... We heard you scream so we came to check on you. I have some questions for you."

Yuki craned her neck and spat "I want Conviction first."

The unicorn looked confused. "Conviction?"

Yuki growled and replied "My blade. It means a lot to me."

The unicorn thought for a minute, then stated "Answer my questions, and I will give you Conviction. How does that sound?"

Yuki sighed, and agreed. "Fine, then. I just want my sword."

The unicorn smiled, and released Yuki from her grasp. Yuki slowly got up, made much easier with four hooves, and waited for the unicorn's next request.

The unicorn asked "What's your name? I am Twilight Sparkle."

Yuki sat down and stated "I'm Yuki."

Twilight looked at the blood-spattered door and questioned "How did you get out?"

Yuki chuckled and dissapeared in a burst of blood. Twilight looked around, only to see Yuki standing behind her. "That's how."

Twilight slapped a hoof over her mouth and turned a shade of green.

After Twilight had calmed her stomach, she asked "Why did we find you in the forest?"

Yuki remembered entering the planet's atmosphere on the Iffenhaus. "I was on a space ship, and it crashed in that forest."

Twilight instantly had a look of 'Ah-ha!' on her face. "So that's what it was!"

Yuki was getting impatient. "I've answered your questions. Can I have my sword now?"

Twilight absent-mindedly responded "Yeah yeah, of course. Oh Celestia, a pony from space! Oh, wait.... Celestia! I haven't told the Princess yet!" She turned to Yuki and stated "C'mon!"

Twilight, Yuki, and the nurse who had remained silent ran out to the lobby and out the door, only to have a large chariot pulled by two armored pegasi carrying a large white alicorn land in front of the hospital.

Twilight gasped and hastily bowed. "P-Princess! I-I didn't know you were coming!"

The Princess stepped off and smiled to her student. "I know Twilight. I thought it would be a pleasant surprise." Celestia looked at Yuki, who just stood, not following Twilight's example. She walked over and stated "You are not bowing. You must be new here."

Yuki deadpanned and stated "I'm not impressed."

Celestia smiled devilishly and stated "Alright then. Just between the two of us, I can use my magic to observe the land." Celestia took on a more serious demeanor. "And I saw what you did to that Ursa."

Yuki grunted and looked away.

Celestia continued "I don't know what your home is like, but around here, that kind of thing is unacceptable. Why would-"

Twilight spoke up. "Princess!" Floating in front of Twilight was a curved sword. "I promised Yuki I would give this to her."

Celestia took the sword with her magic, and brought it close to examine. It was stained red from countless battles.

Celestia put the sword in front of Yuki. "Is this important to you?"

Yuki nodded, eagerly eyeing her weapon.

Celestia stated "Very well, you shall stay here with Twilight Sparkle and learn the magic of friendship with her. And in return," Celestia it the sword at Yuki's feet. "You can keep your blade."

Yuki snatched her weapon up and began to walk away, but Celestia continued speaking.

"On one condition." Celestia's horn flashed, and Yuki's sword was cleaned of all stains. "This blade shall not harm any living creature during your stay, or the deal is off."

Yuki nodded, sword still in her mouth.

Twilight spoke up. "C'mon, Yuki. I'll introduce you to my friends."

Yuki reluctantly nodded and walked off with Twilight.

Yuki heard Celestia call "Remember, that blade better stay clean!"

A/N: I wanted to give Yuki some new weapons, like, completely new, not from the game. Her previous weapons are listed below. Please note that in the game, Yuki's arm is replaced with a chainsaw.

Conviction: Yuki's iconic curved blade. A reliable weapon.

Damage: Average

Attack Speed: Fast

Attack Range: Average

Other notes: One of two weapons that incorporates Yuki's chainsaw into the combos.

Cloud Sword: A large, powerful sword forged from clouds.

Damage: Highest in game

Attack Speed: Somewhat slow

Attack Range: Long and wide

Other notes: Can be charged up to release lightning bolts.

Kama-kazi: A kama (one-handed scythe) attached to Yuki's wrist by one foot of chain.

Damage: Low

Attack Speed: Fastest in game

Attack Range: Short

Other notes: One of two weapons that incorporate Yuki's chainsaw into the combos.

Painkiller: A giant syringe used by Yuki as a spear. This is Yuki's most complicated weapon.

Damage: High, rivaling that of the Cloud Sword.

Attack Speed: Starts slow, but explosively fast during combos.

Attack Range: Long but narrow

Other notes: Yuki often takes the back end of the Painkiller and uses it as a hammer.

Have ideas for a new, Equestrian-based weapon? Leave them in the comments below.