Tear Out My Heart

by ashes_fall

Rating: mature
Tags: Dark, Human, Sad, Main 6, Lyra, Gore, Original Character, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Colgate, Other, Tragedy, Slice of Life
Length: 2091

All I wanted was to be loved. All I wanted was to be accepted. Yet here I lay dying: Alone. No one can hear me scream

WARNING | Extremely Graphic and Dark.
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My name is Ryan. I'm 19 years old and I live in Ponyville. Well at least I'm trying to.
I arrived in Equestria about half a year ago, expecting a happy life. I wanted to start over.
Find a nice job, a house, maybe even find that special mare.

But... it wasn't meant to be. No pony, not even Pinkie Pie was willing to be my friend. I was alone.
One day, Rainbow Dash took it way too far. Not knowing that humans are not as durable as ponies, she shocked me with a thunderhead, basically sealing my fate then and there.

I hope she feels good about what she's done. Because I won't survive the night.

I write this to you as I lay dying, alone.

NOTE: No copyright infringement intended on the cover art.

Published 2014-05-22 00:10:06 UTC
Last updated 2014-05-22 00:10:06 UTC

In Memoriam

In Memoriam

The rain pounded against the window about my head as thunder cracked the sky.

Tears streamed down my face as I lay huddled on the bed I called my own. Blood surrounded my body, it poured from my the massive gashes on my back and stomach.

I arched my back as another bolt of pain shot through me, screaming as loud as I could. I ground my fingers into the sheets, tearing them apart. My body squirmed and writhed in agony as the light of life slowly began to leave it. I lay there in my bed, panting heavily, my brow covered in a mix of blood and sweat; my face was streaked with tears as I shut them even tighter, trying desperately to endure another bolt of pain.

Sweet Celestia I have never experiences pain like this before. It felt as though I was being baked alive by a frying pan, while hot wax was being poured over my face.

I turned my head and looked out my window. The moon was a crescent, glowing and beautiful. I wish I could go have fun with everypony, but no pony wanted to be friends with a FREAK.

I've been called so many things when I got here.

Freak.

Outcast.

Reject.

Better off dead.

Waste of Life.

I don't understand what I did wrong. I came here wanting to start over. To start a new life, hopefully settle down into a good job, with a comfortable home. Maybe even find that special mare.

Reality is just some cruel, sick joke.

I let my eyes slide shut, as I felt my heart beating harder and harder in my chest, begging me to stay alive.

I knew that my heart wouldn't give up, but my body was just too ravaged and hurt.

Darkness crept in and began to take me. The pain in my body slowly began to fade, replaced with a feeling of emptiness and cold.

The feeling of a broken heart.

I heard a blast rattle my house as a light shown at my front door. Behind it were Twilight and her friends, Colgate & Lyra, all wearing of expressions of pure horror. Twilight was the first who bolted towards me, revealing a wide eyed Rainbow Dash behind her: her face stretched with pure terror. All sound was a blur, but I saw Twilight mouth something at Rainbow, making her eyes flatten and look down at the ground.

My eyesight gave out as my body went limp on Twilights back, letting myself slip away from this world. I fell out of focus as I entered the hospital on Twilight's back.

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The next thing I remember was having my vision flooded with light, and a dark blue alicorn standing in front of me, along with three nurses. Twilight handed me over to them, who rushed me back to the ICU.

I kept sliding in and out of consciousness, feeling my heart stop and restart every half minute or so. The one thing I didn't understand was why these ponies that so brutally rejected me were now trying to save me.

I don't understand.

Everything was black when I was set down on the bed. I couldn't feel anything. My body was cloaked in a dark veil of numbness & sadness. I never felt so rejected in my life. Yet here I was, trying to be saved from death.

I remembered opening my eyes and glancing around. What I saw shook my soul to its core. The mares that once hated me and rejected me so brutally were now sitting in the hospital room, holding each other as their coats became soaked in each other's tears. Only Rainbow was sitting by herself, eyes wide with horror. She stared at into my eyes as they filled with tears, her body shuddering under the heavy weight of guilt. My ears were still ringing, so all sound was blocked out; I only saw lip movements and facial expressions.

The cold that had wrapped my body, what I had accepted, was slowly starting to leave me, replaced by heaviness and a feeling of numb. Thank Celestia I was no longer in pain. I looked over at Rainbow Dash & the other mares. They were still holding each other crying into each other's arms. Only Rainbow sat alone, eyes glued to my now tattered and broken body.

I wondered what was going through her head.

Was it regret? Hate? Pain? Sorrow?

No, it couldn't have been any of those. I still remember the words that she screamed at me.

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"Rainbow please!! I just want to be accepted!" I screamed on my knees.

She held me tight high above the ground, eye drilling into me.

"What have a done to you to deserve this!?"

"You really think I care?!? Dude, you're a FREAK!! A bucking REJECT in this world!! I don't know why you're here, but you aren't welcome. Oh tartarus, in my view you're better off just being DEAD!!! No pony here will love you, EVER."

My legs buckled and snapped under me as she threw me to the ground, a searing pain shot through my body.

I sobbed as those words sank into my heart, like daggers soaked in boiling water. I could feel them tearing it apart, the agony was almost overpowering.

The next thing I remember was an even greater pain, something that I cannot put into words on how it felt. It felt like I had been slammed into a pot of boiling wax while having my toenails ripped off & being slowly flayed. My skin was steaming as it melted away from the lightning's impact. The main grunt of it had hit my left side, just under my armpit. It had melted the skin away to expose my ribcage, profusely bleeding. I was cut up bad and could feel that both my legs were broken from Rainbow's throw. She had been holding me in the sky, about 50 feet up, then dropped me as she aimed the thundercloud at me.

Slowly, crying in agony, I pulled myself back to my home, crawling along the dirt like some disease ridden animal ready to be slaughtered.

I had never felt so much pain in my life.

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I remember huddling like a new born baby calling for its mom, unknowing that she is dead; screaming for anyone to help it. Only to have its cries fall on deaf ears.

I felt no mercy for her. I wanted her to suffer when I died. I want her to beg her friends for forgiveness, only to suffer the same fate as me. I know it sound cruel, but I don't care.

As I lay dying there, the heart monitor screaming from my low heart rate, I couldn't help but glance around the hospital room again.

The walls were an ivory colored off white, set in a square pattern. The bed, also off white was strewn around with various wires, but the entire thing was soaked a deep red from my blood.

My left side was torn open from the lightning, revealing my exposed ribcage, surrounded by tattered skin and flesh. The nurses and doctors had somehow stopped the bleeding, and had wrapped that specific part of my body in gauze, although it was already turning red.

Everything was a blur. I could feel the life being sucked out of me slowly.

And I welcomed it.

Even though I was one of the first humans in Equestria, the others were not rejected as fiercely & brutally. I don't understand why of all the ponies to act in anger, it had to be Rainbow Dash. I knew she didn't like me, but she always acted weird around me; shooting glances at my chest or butt.

"How did this happen?" one of the nurses asked as she measured my blood pressure.

"He was severely injured by two lightning strikes," replied Twilight who was sweating.

I started into a coughing fit, uncontrollable spasms shot through my body as the pain returned. I couldn't scream, even though it felt like I was being torn in half. My body arched and coughed up blood, the red liquid spraying all over my bare chest. I finally went limp as I broke out into tears again, smearing together with the blood that streaked my face.

A resounding gasp went around the room accompanied by a hush of quiet terror.

I had to face it: I was going to die here. All light had been extinguished from my soul and I was ready for death to take me.

I wanted to say a few last words to her, before I finally let go. I was holding on for that one purpose. Only Twilight had befriended me

since I had been here; I guess that's why she felt responsible.

My eyelids fluttered closed again, but for a strange reason I felt at peace. I felt that I could finally let go.

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The group of mares stricken by sorrow watched in horror as the line on the heart monitor grew fainter and fainter. They cried softly,

knowing there was nothing left that they could do to save me. Even the once stoic Rainbow Dash let the floodgates open, crying loudly on the shoulder of Twilight, who embraced her in return. She had recognized her mistakes. And what they would cost.

Applejack had removed her hat and closed her eyes, bowing her head in respect to my fading life. Rarity's face was streaked with makeup as she clung to Fluttershy & Twilight like a newborn child, their faces buried in each other's coats. Only Rainbow Dash sat alone, curled up accepting at what she had done.

Truth be told, I didn't want to be saved.

Why exist in a world that only welcomes you with anger and rejection. One that treats you like a thrown away baby with an umbilical cord tied around its neck.

Left for dead.

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I opened my eyes one last time and looked around to see them looking at me, eyes streaked with tears and bodies trembling from the emotional overload.

I tried to force a smile, which only led me to a coughing fit, spitting up more blood as I did. As I lay my head back on the pillow, my hair tangled and soaked in blood, I closed my eyes for the last time. I felt a pressure against my chest as Twilight threw herself at me, holding onto my neck as she sobbed on my chest. I could hear the faint screams of her pleading me to stay, begging for a fresh start. one of the nurses forced her off me, her belly coated in my blood as her tears flooded her eyes once more. She didn't say anything more.

The last thing I remember her doing was walking to my side and taking my hand. I felt my eyes get watery again, as my raspy breath grew less and less frequent. My eyelids grew heavy as my body felt to grow ten times heavier, it sinking into the bed that I was laying on.

Darkness crept in as my ragged lungs finally gave out. My hearing returned for one last time, clear as a bell. I could finally hear the horrible cries of agony from the grief stricken ponies.

My last vision was that of Twilight's face, as my hand squeezed her hoof tightly. She patted my head and gave it a gentle kiss; as if to say farewell.

Death greeted me warm, now all I needed was to say goodbye.

All the other mares, all but Rainbow, gathered around my bedside, bodies still shaking from mourning my passing. Applejack had again, removed her hat and bowed her head. She grasped my left hand along with Lyra & Colgate. Pinkie Pie & Fluttershy joined Twilight at my right. Rarity stood at my feet, holding Applejack's hoof for comfort.

The doctors bowed their heads in respect.

As death guided me away, I felt something flash through me.

I looked back from the glowing afterlife that I was promised to see my broken body laying there in the hospital room, the heart monitor flat lining. I saw Twilight hugging me tightly as she lay her head on my chest, crying softly. Pinkie's mane had deflated, her blue eyes wearing crocodile tears.

The other mares huddled together trying to tell themselves that everything would be ok.

So this is what it feels like to be loved.....