Chapters Today had to be the slowest day at the academy. Unfortunately today was paperwork day. Loads and loads of paperwork.
Right from when I got out of bed, I wasn’t myself. While always got up very early in the morning to do some quick exercising and cleaning, today I slept in until 8:15.
All day, today, everypony kept staring at me and whispering to one and other hoping that covering their voices with their hooves would keep it a secret.
“OH CELESTIA FUCKING DAMMIT!!!!” I cussed at the top of my lungs, realizing a little too late that I shouted out loud in a public place. Oh Celestia what have I gotten myself into?
Now everypony had their eyes on me. Some were giggling, others kept staring at me with disbelief that I would say something like that, and some even had their mouths gaped open like they have never heard me swear before.
I gave probably the absolute weakest smile I ever tried to pull off. I was probably blushing furiously and my ears drooped down like a little filly whose mother caught her trying to steal a cookie from the cookie jar.
A white Pegasus colt that I recognized as Jet Blast stepped forward from the group. He was wearing the same Wonderbolt’s officer’s uniform I was wearing. We’ve flown and worked together before and were on very friendly terms. He worked his way past the crowd and approached me offering a hoof.
“Captain Spitfire, are you alright?” He asked me with a look of worry on his face.
I kept my head down and trotted down the hallway which led towards my office. I didn’t look at anypony or answer them when they greeted me. Normally I’m a very friendly young mare but today, I just wanted to be left alone. Even if I encountered Soarin and Fleet Foot today I didn’t wanna talk.
Dammit there I go again!
I slammed the door behind me hard and tried my best to compose myself. I rubbed my head with my right forehoof and took a deep breath.
I needed to distract myself quickly. I headed towards my desk and pull out my chair to take a seat.
There were also several pictures on my desk too. One was me and my team at a opening event for a large shopping mall in Manehatten. The other was a picture of me and Fleet Foot at Soarin’s twenty sixth birthday party last year. And the final picture was a family photo of me, my mom, my dad…..and Mustang.
I carefully took the family photo and gently placed it face down on the desk so I wouldn’t see his face. It’s not that I didn’t want to see him it’s just that…well okay, I didn’t want to see a photo of him, not now. It was too painful.
I just stood at my desk trying with every bit of free will to do my work.
Today I was filing paperwork; well, I was supposed to be filling out paperwork.
I stood out there and just gave a thousand yard stare as I looked at the new flyers struggling to pass the Wonderbolts extremely challenging physical tests.
Training to be a Wonderbolt was very difficult. Every year, over one hundred ponies sign up and get accepted for training. By the end of that year, only four will pass and become a Wonderbolt. I remember my first day at the academy.
I was a good flyer fresh out of serving a tour with the Equestrian Royal Air Force. I was so nervous my wings wouldn’t stop jittering during the physical exam and I may have stuttered a few times during the interview.
Again I thought about Mustang, but this time, I let him stay. He was the biggest help when I was training for a Wonderbolt. Before I signed up, he spent every day with me training and pushing me to be my best. And he never lowered himself simply because I was his sister. No, when Mustang trained you, he took it seriously.
But he never put me down or spoiled me. He helped me push my abilities to their very limits. Even when I was in the academy, he still sent me letters of encouragement and even tips on how to prepare my body for the physical tests.
I went back to my desk and took the photo I put down in my hooves and just looked at Mustang. I remember now, this picture was taken four years ago at our parents’ wedding anniversary. I had just gotten accepted into the Wonderbolts and we were celebrating the two special events together.
He was tall and very handsome colt (I still remember in high school he had a whole locker full of letters from young mares asking him to go out with them).
I then frowned when I also remembered another detail.
This was taken two days after he had joined the Romancian Foreign Legion. He left for the human nation of Romancia the following day.
I think that’s why he joined the Romancian Foreign Legion in the first place. He wanted to be a military medic and help ponies and people.
I sat down back in my chair and…well, I lost it. I completely broke down and started sobbing. I wanted to die! I wanted to kill Mustang! He promised me he would come back! But it was too late, he was already dead.
“It’s not fair!” I growled to my emptiness as I lay my head on my desk and covered my face with my hooves, tears soaking down my cheeks.
I just sat there, balling like a little filly who lost her blanket. I missed him so much….
Author's Note
Yeah I mostly wrote this story because a lot of shit has happened in my personal life (I'd rather not talk about it) and writing this just helps me vent my emotions.
That Final Night.
I don’t know how long I stayed crying at my desk; maybe it was only a few minutes, maybe several hours who knows I wasn’t keeping track. Personally, in the current emotional mood I was in, I probably didn’t care. A thousand moons could’ve past and I wouldn’t of notice.
The thing that finally made me realize the time I was in was a loud knocking at the door to my office.
“Come in!” I practically shouted still sobbing. I tried my best to wipe away my tears, but my eyes were still wet and puffy.
I heard the door creak open following by the sound of hoof clops as I wiped my eyes with my sleeves. I then turned to look up at my visitor and….
I stood on all fours in a very upright position and saluted, putting my right hoof up to my head. I also secretly tried to cover my eyes to hide the fact I was crying. It was bad enough that Jet Blast and many others saw me the last thing I needed was my boss to see me in this emotional state.
I wanted to punch myself in the face. How was he today? Really? That was the best question I could come up with!
But General Night Striker seemed very calm as he walked around my office just staring at random knick knacks and decorations on the shelves of my office.
“Jet Blast came by my office this morning and told me about your little outburst in mess hall when you arrived,” Night Striker said as he took a small silver plated Pegasus medal and examined it in his hooves.
MY LIFE IS RUINED!!! I screamed internally to myself!
Note to self, after the general scolds me for that, I need to pay Jet Blast a visit and tell him not to be a fucking tattle tale!
“Sir I can explain…!” I began as I got up and desperately walked towards with a practically begging gesture.
Keeping the medal in his left hoof he looked at me and held up his right hoof as if to block me.
I didn’t look at him. I didn’t want to. If it wasn’t for the fact that he was the General and my own boss, I would’ve screamed at him and demanded that he leave.
“I’m sorry Spitfire,” he said very calmly. “I know what it’s like to lose someone close and dear to you.”
Then why did you have to bring him up!
I bit my lips as I felt the tears coming back.
Dammit I can’t cry in front of my boss!
But then the general approached me and pat my shoulder with his hoof almost as if he read my mind.
“But sir I can’t just abandoned my duties!” I tried to explain.
Sure I was going through a minor emotional inconvenience but that was no excuse for me to just pack up my bags and fly off to Las Pegasus.
But the General just smiled at me.
“Spitfire, it’s just a little leave of absence,” he explained “I really want you to take some time off. Trust me, coming from a pony that has lost many friends throughout his life, sometimes you need to slow down and take some time.”
I nodded even though I personally disagreed with him. I didn’t need R&R, I needed to work, I needed something to distract myself.
“Good. And don’t worry, we have your position covered,” he said as he opened the door. “Also, I’d highly recommend you take some time to visit your parents. They are probably going through the same emotionally pain as you and they are in need of your love. Spend some time with them. And that’s an order.”
I nodded with a faux look of understandment as General Night Striker exited my office.
I rarely ever go to the largely Earth Pony village of Ponyville unless I have a reason to do so. Sure, Rainbow Dash, my absolute most favorite cadet lived there, but that was about it.
That event wasn’t the first time I was in Ponyville though. Mustang and I used to come here all the time when we were fillies. Every hoofstep I took brought back happy memories.
I just laid there at the coast of the lake relaxing and letting the cool watered air splash against me. It was very therapeutic although depressing at the same time. Out of all the places I had visited on my trips to Ponyville with my brother, the lake was my absolute most favorite place.
There was a small beach near the edge of the water were me and Mustang used to build sand castles and have sand fights. Sometimes we would also watch the baby turtles flip flop their way to the lake to their new home.
“I’m going to miss you.” I spoke sadly to him as we watched the sunset over the horizon. The lake’s waters churned and waved giving its magical rhythm.
Mustang turned to me and gave me his brightest smile; a smile which I would give my left hind leg to see again.
“I’m gonna miss you too Spitz.” He answered. Spitz was a pet name he would always call me.
I looked at the sunset with a look of sadness on his face. I know he was an adult pony and it was his decision, but I didn’t want him to go.
I turned back to him, “I still don’t get why you chose to volunteer for a human military rather than join the Wonderbolts. General Night Striker said you were a damn good flyer!”
He frowned at my statement however.
“Spitz, I am so proud you lived your dream, but joining the Wonderbolts was your dream, not mine.” He explained with a sad frown on his muzzle. “I want to do more in my life than just fly and perform stunts for ponies.”
I remember scowling at him and raising an eyebrow.
“Not that there is anything wrong with that!” he quickly corrected with a weak smile on his muzzle.
“Spitz, I am so proud of you that you joined the Wonderbolts. Really I am,” he explained, “but, I always wanted to be a doctor. I’ve always wanted to help people.”
He then turned towards the lake watching the setting sky kiss the horizon.
“I wanna help people. Both humans and ponies alike!” he then turned to me. “Spitz, the Romancian Foreign Legion is something I want to do!”
I remember looking away from him, trying to hide the tears that were building up in my eyes.
I turned around and gave him the biggest hug a little sister could give her big brother. I sobbed heavily into his chest.
“I’ll miss you too much!” I sobbed into his chest.
“Shhhh, I know Spitz. I’m gonna miss you to.” He answered trying his best to comfort me. He lifted my head to me and wiped away my tears.
“But remember baby sis, I’ll always be with you, even if you can’t see me!” he told me and his closed his eyes and hugged me again.
Never in all my life had I felt so warm and safe.
Once the sun had set and the moon had risen, we headed back home to our parents were we spent one final night together as a family.
Sadly, I never saw Mustang alive in person after that day….
I stood on top of the cloud where my folks lived and their house was located. Man it has been a long time since I last stepped hoof onto this yard; must’ve been about eight years.
I walked up to the front door of my old house and swallowed hard. I was sad and nervous, this house made many memories.
Despite being in her late fifties, my mom still maintained some of her beauty and brightness. She was always a beautiful and kind mare who took great care of us and loved us dearly. Her cutie mark was appropriately a pair of wings with a heart in the middle.
My question, however, caused my mom to frown. She turned away and sighed while taking off her glasses.
“Oh Spitfire honey, ever since we got the news, your father hasn’t been the same,” She said with a sad tone and I could tell she was fighting tears. “He is so quiet now and spends most of his time just reading the newspaper.”
I nodded, I wouldn’t be surprised. Mustang was dad’s pride and joy. Not that he didn’t like me, he loved us both very much, but there was a special bond Mustang and dad had. I guess it’s that kind of father and son thing.
“C’mon in honey,” she greeted me with her smile which was very bright despite her age. “It’s been so long.”
I decided to stay a bit longer than I planned and helped mom with the cooking and prepping dinner. Even though I was classified as a tom girl in my filly days, I will admit, I loved cooking.
I sighed a little as I remembered those great times. I remembered that one time when Mustang tried to do a sonic rainboom and failed miserably (and broke his right wing in the process). Mom and dad were so angry that they vowed to ground him for a very long time if he tried it again and he promised to never do it again.
“Is dad still at work?” I asked a trying to break the silence. Even though dad was in his sixties, he still worked at the factory.
“I’ve got plenty of time to rest when I’m dead!” he would say
But despite his workaholic personality, he still found the time to spend time with me and Mustang.
“Oh yes dear….huh.”
I looked away and acted like I never saw it. Mom was already saddened; I didn’t need her to see me distressed too. I walked up to her and gently patted her shoulder trying to comfort her a little.
It was around 9:00 when dad finally came home. When I was younger, dad used to come home with high spirits and energy, even on bad days. But dad wasn’t his happy self tonight. Can’t say I blame him.
“Hey dad! Guess who came to visit!” I cheered to him hoping it would lift his spirits up.
“I’m glad your home honey. Aren’t you happy your daughter is here?” she asked with a look in her face which told me she was trying her very hardest to maintain her complexion.
“You mean Mustang?” I asked and almost immediately regretted bringing up. Oh sweet Celestia I am so stupid!
“I’ll be in the shower.” He said and he immediately dismissed himself trotting up the stairs to the bathroom. I could hear him turn on the shower and see steam coming from the upstairs.
I then turned towards mom and l lowered my head in shame.
“No need to!” she answered back sounding like she was obviously trying to hold back tears. “Despite…recent events, we are a family and Mustang wouldn’t want to see us this way.”
Mustang may be gone, but we are still a family.
I decided to spend the night at my old place figuring that maybe mom and pop needed me there for a bit. It was still sad though; dad was completely silent during dinner time which was very out of character for him. During dinner he was also being a chatty filly. But tonight, he just sat there and ate his food not saying anything to me or mom.
Normally I sleep fine but tonight was rough. Despite being in a warm bed, I kept tossing and turning all night. I don’t know what came over me, but I did something that surprised even me.
I headed to Mustang’s old room.
Just like my room, Mustang’s room was left completely intact and even though nobody had slept there in years it was well kept and dusted.
On his bookshelf was a collection of of books and encyclopedias mostly about war and wartime technology. An F-86 Sabre model was carefully placed on top of a stack of old Captain Karelia comic books.
On the desk was a model of a P-38 fighter however, it was incomplete and a mess. Its wings were separated and carefully laid next to a tube of glue and a mini screwdriver.
And finally, behind his door was a poster for the Romancian Foreign Legion. It depicted a Legionnaire holding his rifle in a triumphant pose and pointing at the would-be audience. I couldn't read Romancian but Mustang told me that the poster read: "Do you have what it takes to be a Legionnaire!"
A loud yawn escaped my muzzle and feeling tired again. I don't know why but I hunkered down on Mustangs bed.
I don't know how to explain it but sleeping in Mustang's bed mad me feel safe. I felt happy.
I drifted off to sleep and in the first time for several nights, I slept soundly.
The day I got that Letter.
One week.
The thing that strikes me the most is how quiet that day was. My typical routine goes like this:
Dear Ms. Spitfire,
I am here to offer you my most sincere apologies. On March the 15th of 2014, your brother, Legionnaire Lieutenant Mustang was killed in action while assisting a med evac.
The Romancian Foreign Legion offers you and your family our absolute condolences. Mustang was an excellent army medic who cared greatly for his fellow soldiers and his duty. He will be missed by his platoon.
If it can offer you any solace, your brother died saving a fellow soldiers life, and for that, he has been posthumously awarded the Croix de Guerre, one of our highest military medals in the Romancian military and we will deliver his body back to his native soil for a decent burial.
We wish you love and comfort and our support. Your brother will be missed by not only you, but his platoon as well.
Sincerely,
General Anatonlius Baudin
Romancian Foreign Legion 36th Paratroopers.
I will never forget that message. My initial reaction was complete denial.
I remember spending countless hours lying on my bed, staring at that photo of me and Mustang taken back when we were fillies. I wanted to deny it, wanted to pretend it was all a horrible nightmare.
But it wasn’t. No matter how many times I cried or begged for it to not be true there was no denying it; my brother, my kin, my friend was dead and there was nothing I could do to say or change that.
