Iron Mareby Joker the HedgehogChaptersAlways WorkingThe DemonstrationThe Ten CollarsAlways WorkingIn the middle of Saddle Arabia, a military convoy rolled through the desert. Sitting in the backseat holding a glass of some sort of liquor in her hand was a turquoise anthropomorphic pegasus mare with an amber mane and tail wearing a black suit and tie with a white shirt. With her was three soldiers. “Call me crazy, but I feel like you guys are driving me to a court-martial. Actually, it’s more like you guys are gonna pull over and snuff me. Are you guys not allowed to talk?” asked Lightning Dust. “We can talk, ma’am,” said the soldier on Lightning’s immediate left. “Ah, so it’s personal?” said Lightning. “No, you intimidate them,” said the driver, who was a handsome stallion. “Holy Faust, you’re a stallion. Sorry, but isn’t that what we’re going for? I mean, I thought of you as a soldier first,” said Lightning with a smirk. “Actually, I’m an airpony,” said the driver. “Well, you’re pretty handsome, I’m actually having a hard time not looking at you now,” said Lightning. The soldiers all chuckled. “It’s all right, laugh, they say its the best medicine, after all,” said Lightning. The soldier in the passenger seat raised his hand. “Oh, come on, you’re kidding with the hand up, right?” said Lightning. “Is it true that you guys at Dust Industries are working on a teleportation device?” asked the soldier. “Excellent question. Yes, we are, but we’re having a little trouble keeping the watermelons from coming back as juice,” said Lightning. “Is it cool if I take a picture with you?” asked the soldier next to Lightning. “Yes, it’s very cool,” said Lightning. The soldier gave his camera to his comrade in the passenger seat. But, before he could take the picture, the humvee in front of them exploded. Almost immediately afterwards, the rest of the convoy came under heavy fire. “Contact left!” yelled the driver. But, no sooner had he left the humvee, the driver was shot and killed. One by one, the other two soldiers left the vehicle, only to be killed. I’m outta here! thought Lightning. She got out of the humvee and dove behind a rock. Lightning pulled out her cell phone and began typing a distress message. Out of the corner of her eye, Lightning saw a missile land next to her. Her jaw dropped when she saw what was on the missile. Dust Industries. Lightning got up and tried to get away from the missile, but it blew up in her face, sending her sprawling. “Ow,” said Lightning. Lightning then noticed something warm and sticky pooling on her chest. She looked down and saw that it was blood. Well, that sucks, thought Lightning, before she passed out… ~ Two days earlier, we find ourselves at the Patriot Awards at Celestia’s Palace Casino and Resort in Los Pegasus. “Lightning Dust,” boomed a male voice as a picture of Lightning appeared on a large screen. “Visionary. Genius. Equestrian patriot. Even from an early age, the daughter of weapons developer Thunder Dust quickly stole the limelight with her brilliant and unique mind. At age four, she built her first circuit board. At age nine, her first engine. At age 17, she graduated with honors from MLP.” “Then, the passing of a titan. Thunder’s lifelong friend and ally Silver Soul steps in to help fill the gap left by the legendary founder. Until, at age 21, the prodigal daughter returns, and is crowned the new CEO of Dust Industries,” boomed the voice, and a magazine cover of a younger Lightning Dust alongside an older unicorn mare with a gray coat and a graying black mane and tail wearing a suit and tie appeared on the screen. The crowd applauded once again. “With the keys to the empire, Lightning opens the door to a new era for her father’s legacy, creating smarter weapons, advanced robotics, and satellite targeting, ensuring freedom for Equestria and her interests around the world.” With that, the slideshow ended and a cyan blue pegasus mare with a rainbow-colored mane and tail wearing a military dress uniform took the stage. “As liaison to Dust Industries, I’ve had the honor with working with a true patriot,” said Rainbow Dash. “She is my friend and my mentor. Fillies and gentlecolts, it is my honor to present this year’s Apogee Award to Miss Lightning Dust!” The band played and the audience burst into applause. But, Lightning didn’t come up to the stage. Rainbow saw Silver Soul out in the crowd. The two mares made eye contact, and Silver shook her head. Typical Lightning. Too busy gambling and having a good time to show up, thought Rainbow as Silver took the stage. “Thanks for the save,” she whispered as she walked off stage. “Don’t mention it,” murmured Silver, before facing the crowd. “Well, I’m not Lightning Dust.” The audience chuckled at this as Silver continued. “But, if I were Lightning, I’d tell you how honored I feel to receive this very prestigious award. Regrettably, the best and worst thing about Lightning is this: she’s always working.” ~ Lightning Dust, meanwhile, was at the Craps table. “Booyah!” said Lightning as she won the round. “You are unbelievable,” said a voice behind Lightning. Lightning turned to see the scowling face of Rainbow Dash. “Oh, no, did they rope you into this?” asked Lightning. “Nopony roped me into anything, they just told me you’d be honored if I presented you with an award,” said Rainbow. Lightning smirked. “That I would be. So, when do I get it?” asked Lightning as she turned back towards the table. Rainbow smirked and tapped Lightning on the shoulder with the award. Lightning looked at it. “Oh, well that was easy. Could you hold onto that for just a second? Thanks,” she said. Lightning placed another bet, rolled the dice, and lost the round. ~ “Tomorrow, 12:00! Don’t be late! I mean it this time!” called Rainbow as Lightning made her way out the door. “Yeah, sure,” said Lightning. throwing the award away as she passed the trash can. She had no sooner made it to her car when a male voice called out. “Miss Dust! My name’s Gabriel Gumms, Technologies Magazine, can I ask you a few questions?” said a green pegasus stallion with a purple mane and tail wearing a stereotypical reporter’s outfit. “He’s handsome,” muttered a female bodyguard named Happy. “Okay, then,” said Lightning as she turned to face Gabriel. “Shoot.” “You’ve been called the ‘Apple Bloom of Boom.’ What do you say to that?” asked Gabriel. “That’s dumb, I don’t paint,” said Lightning. “And what about your other nickname: ‘The Merchant of Death?’” asked Gabriel. “That’s better. Let me guess, Manehattan?” said Lightning. “Fillydelphia, actually,” said Gabriel. “Well, Mr. Fillydelphia. You have my word that when weapons are no longer needed to keep the peace, I’ll start making playground equipment for foals,” said Lightning. “Gee, rehearse that much?” asked Gabriel. “Every night before bedtime. I could show you first hand,” said Lightning. “Look, all I want is a serious answer,” said Gabriel. “You want serious? Here you go: my dad had a philosophy: ‘peace means having a bigger stick than the other guy,’” said Lightning. “Nice words coming from the mare selling the sticks,” said Gabriel. “My father helped defeat the Shadowbolts’ science division, HYDRA, and he worked on the Manehattan Project. A lot of ponies, your professors at Fillydelphia included, would call that being a hero,” said Lightning. “And a lot of ponies would also call that war profiteering,” said Gabriel. “Tell me, do you plan on reporting on all the lives we’ve saved by advancing medical technology or kept from starving with our intelli-crops? Every last one of those breakthroughs were with military funding, honey,” said Lightning. Gabriel looked thoughtful for a moment. “You ever lose an hour of sleep in your life?” he asked. “I wouldn’t mind losing a few with you,” said Lightning. ~ That night, in Lightning’s Maribou mansion, the reporter and the billionaire made their feathers fly. The DemonstrationThe following morning, Gabriel was still fast asleep on Lightning Dust’s bed. Suddenly, a slightly robotic male voice said, “Good Morning. It’s 11:52 AM on May 27, the weather today will be sunny with scattered clouds. Surf conditions are fair with waist to shoulder high lines. High tide will be at 3:30 PM." Gabriel got up and put his pants on. "Lightning?" he called as he wandered through the mansion. Gabriel saw a small panel on the wall. But, when he touched it, the voice said,"You are not authorized to access this area." "Holy Faust," said Gabriel. "That would be JARVIS, he runs the house," said a Pegasus stallion with a gray coat, a dirty blonde mane and tail, and wearing a white collared shirt and khakis. "I've got your shirt here, it's been dry cleaned and pressed, and there's a car outside that'll take you anywhere you want." "You must be North Star," said Gabriel. "Indeed I am," said North Star Gabriel smirked as he took his shirt. "After all this time, Lightning still has you picking up the dry cleaning," he said. "I do everything that Miss Dust requires. Including, on occasion, taking out the trash. Is that all?" said North. ~ Click here About an hour and a half later, we find Lightning Dust working on the engine of one of her cars while listening to one of her favorite songs.. "Give me an exploded view," said Lightning as she held up a scanner to the engine. "The compression in cylinder four appears to be low," said JARVIS. "Log that," said Lightning just as North Star came in and muted the song just as it got to Iron Mare lives again! “Please don’t turn down my music,” said Lightning, not even looking up at North as she kept working. “You’re supposed to be halfway to the other side of the world right now,” said North Star. “How’d he take it?” asked Lightning. “Like a champ,” said North Star. “Why are you trying to hustle me outta here?” asked Lightning. “Oh, no reason, only that your flight was scheduled to leave an hour and a half ago,” said North Star. Lightning frowned. “Weird. I thought that since it was my plane it’d just wait for me to get there,” she said as she turned to face North. “Lightning, there’s a couple of things I need to talk to you about before I get you outta here,” said North as he looked over the clipboard he had. “And those are?” said Lightning. “Larry called, he’s got another buyer for the Sapphire Paulk in the wings, do you want it, yes or no?” said North. “Well… is it a good representation of her fall period?” asked Lightning, rubbing her chin in a thoughtful manner. “Uh, no, The Falls was where Sapphire Shores lived and worked before becoming the pop sensation she is now, not ‘fall’ as in the season,” corrected North Star. “And?” said Lightning. “Well, I think it’s a fair example, but it’s way too pricy,” said North Star. Lightning smirked as she got up and made her way to the her fridge for a Pepsi Next. “Well, I’ve got the money and I need it. So, buy it and store it,” she said. “Okay… the MLP commencement speech-” said North. “Is in June, don’t bother me with stuff that’s way, way down the road,” said Lightning as she uncapped her pop. “Well, they’re bothering me, so I’m going to say yes-” said North Star. “Try deflecting and absorbing it instead of transmitting it back to me,” said Lightning. Completely ignoring Lightning’s comment, North Star pressed on. “I need you sign this before you get on the plane,” he said. Lightning signed the paper and asked, “Why do you want me out so badly? You got plans or something?” “Actually, I do,” said North. “You know I don’t like it when you have plans,” said Lightning. “I think I’m allowed to have plans on my birthday,” said North. “It’s your birthday?” said Lightning, raising an eyebrow. “Weird, isn’t it? It’s the same day as last year,” said North Star. “Well, then get yourself something nice from me,” said Lightning. “I already did. And it was both stylish and expensive. Thanks, Miss Dust,” said North. “You’re welcome, Mr. Star,” said Lightning, before she downed the rest of her pop and made her way out the door. ~ About 24 hours later, Lightning Dust stood before several important members of the Equestrian Military, including the “Giant Hunter” himself, General Liberty Belle, at a Saddle Arabian weapons test site. To Lightning’s left was a missile launcher “Tell me, fillies and gentlecolts,” said Lightning as she walked is it better to be feared, or respected? I say, what’s wrong with both? With that in mind, I humbly present the crown jewel of Dust Industries Liberty Line, and no, it’s not named after you, General Belle.” Lightning’s comment drew snickers as General Belle smiled and blushed, adding color to his powder-white coat. “All right, as I was saying, this missile system is also the first to incorporate our proprietary repulsor technology. They say the best weapon is one you never have to fire, I respectfully disagree. I favor the weapon that you only have to fire once. That’s how my dad did it, that’s how Equestria does it… and so far it’s worked out nicely,” said Lightning. “Find any reason to let one of these puppies off the chain, and you have my word that the bad guys won’t even put a toe out of their caves.” Lightning nodded to the pony operating the missile launcher. One of the huge missiles launched into the air, and while it was still airborne, it deployed several smaller missiles. “Fillies and gentlecolts, for your consideration… the Hailfire,” said Lightning, spreading her arms and wings as a huge cloud of dust caused by the smaller missiles’ detonations blew over them. ~ After the demonstration, Lightning grabbed a glass of some kind of liquor from what seemed to be a cryogenic cooler. “I’ll throw one of these in with every purchase of 500 million or more. To peace!” said Lightning. Just then, her phone rang. It was Silver Soul. “What are you doing up?” asked Lightning as she made her way towards a humvee. “I couldn’t sleep until I found out how it went. So, how’d it go?” asked Silver. “It went great! Even The Giant Hunter was impressed,” said Lightning. “That’s my girl! So, I’ll see you tomorrow, right?” asked Silver. “See you then,” said Lightning as she got into the humvee. “Lightning!” called Rainbow as she walked up to the humvee Lightning was in. “Sorry, Dash, but this is the ‘funvee.’ I believe the ‘hum-drum-vee’ is back there somewhere,” said Lightning. “Good job,” said Rainbow. “See you back at the base,” said Lightning. And with that, the ill-fated convoy began... The Ten CollarsLightning Dust groaned as she woke up on a cot in what appeared to be a big dark cave, lit only by a small crackling fire. Not far from Lightning, a brown Earth Pony mare with a black mane and tail wearing part of a suit combed her mane. Lightning then saw a cup of water, which would probably help her with her searing throat. But, as she reached for it, she ended up knocking it to the ground. She turned herself over to grab the cup. “I wouldn’t do that if I were you,” said the mare. Lightning looked on the other side of the cot to see what looked like a car battery with wires attached to it that seemed to lead… In a panic, Lightning tore off the filthy bandages on her chest. Surgically attached just above her breasts was a circular device that almost resembled some kind of plug. Lightning, horrified, sat up very carefully. “What the Tartarus did you do to me?” she demanded. The mare chuckled. “What I did to you saved your life. I removed all the shrapnel I could, but there’s still a lot left, and it’s headed right for your heart,” she said, tossing Lightning a small vial. "I've seen more wounds like those in my village than I would care to count. We call them the walking dead, because it takes about a week for the barbs to pierce the vital organs," explained the mare. "And this is?" asked Lightning, pointing at the device in her chest. "An electromagnet hooked up to a car battery. And it's keeping the shrapnel from entering your heart," said the mare. "You know, we actually met once at a technical conference in Haytaly back in 2000." "Only thing I remember about that is that botanist and his project, what was it called... EXTREMIS," said Lightning. The mare looked impressed. "I'm surprised you remember anything about that night. If it were me, I wouldn't even remember how I got there," she said. Just then, a voice started yelling in a foriegn dialect. "Come on! Stand up! Do as I do!" hissed the mare. Very carefully, Lightning Dust stood up and put her hands behind her head as a small squad of armed Diamond Dogs entered. Lightning realized what the Dogs were holding. "Those are my guns. How the buck did they get my guns?" asked Lightning. "Shut up and do as I do!" hissed the mare. A burly Diamond Dog entered and started speaking in the same dialect as before, which the mare translated for Lightning. "He says 'welcome Lightning Dust, the most famous mass murderer in Equestrian history. He is honored,'" the mare translated. As the dog continued speaking, he gave the mare a picture. "He wants you to build the Hailfire missle you demonstrated, the one in the picture," said the mare, showing Lightning Dust the picture. Lightning looked the Diamond Dog right in the eye and said, "Go buck yourselves and give me my guns back." For that little remark, the Diamond Dogs grabbed Lightning Dust and stuck her head into a water barrel, only allowing her to breathe for a few seconds between each dunk. As she was tortured, Lightning had an idea, one that could serve as an alternative to the car battery magnet. Once the Dogs were finished torturing Lightning, a wool sack was placed over her head as well as the head of her fellow captive. As they were led through the twisting caves, Lightning was making very careful notes about the route they were taking. Finally, the two captives arrived at the entrance to the caves, where the lead Diamond Dog gave the order to remove the hoods. Wincing in the bright sunlight, Lightning and the mare were led into the center of what looked like the base camp of an extermist group. With a growing disgust, Lightning saw several crates with Dust Industries on them. The lead Diamond Dog spoke again, and the mare translated, "He wants to know what you think." "I think you've got too many of my weapons for me to be comfortable with," said Lightning. The Diamond Dog continued speaking as the mare translated, "They have everything you need to build the Hailfire missle. He wants you to make the list of materials. He wants you to start immediately and when you're done, he'll set you free." The Diamond Dog held out his claw, and Lightning had no choice but to shake it. "No, he won't," said Lightning. "No, he won't," said the mare. ~ Back in the cave, the mare and Lightning sat around the fire. "Look, what you just saw out there. That's your legacy, Lightning: your life's work, designed to protect and save lives, in the hands of terrorists! Is that really how you want to go out?" said the mare. When Lightning didn't respond, she pressed on, "Is this the last act of defiance, of the great Lightning Dust? Or are you going to do something about it?" "Why should I bother doing anything? They'll kill us both either way, and even if they don't, it's game over for me in a week," said Lightning. "Well, then I suppose this is a very important week for you, isn't it?" said the mare. ~ It took about a day for the Diamond Dogs to get the cave fully outfited for everything Lightning Dust needed. As she and the mare, who was named Black Smith, worked, a process that included melting down palladium, Smith told Lightning what they were up against. Their captors were an extermist group known as the Ten Collars, and that they'd been buying weapons from Dust Industries for a few years. Finally, after about four days, Lightning and Smith had built something, but it wasn't a missile. It was a small device similar to the magnet in Lightning's chest, except it had a blue glow coming from it. Lightning smirked when Smith pointed this out. "That's because it's a miniatureized ARC Reactor. I've got a full-sized one powering my factory at home. This oughta keep the shrapnel out of my heart," she said. "But, what could it generate?" asked Smith. "Well, if my math is right, and it always is, three gigajoules per second," said Lightning. "That could run your heart for 50 lifetimes," said Smith in amazement. "That or it could run something big for fifteen minutes. Now, come on, I want to show you something," said Lightning as she got up and walked over to the table. She grabbed three sheets of drawing paper as Smith followed her. "This," said Lightning as she positioned the papers. "Is our ticket out." "What is it?" asked Smith. "Why don't you flatten them out and look?" asked Lightning. Smith did, and her jaw dropped at what she saw. It was the diagram of a pegasus wearing a clunky, but clearly effective, suit of robotic armor.
Always WorkingIn the middle of Saddle Arabia, a military convoy rolled through the desert. Sitting in the backseat holding a glass of some sort of liquor in her hand was a turquoise anthropomorphic pegasus mare with an amber mane and tail wearing a black suit and tie with a white shirt. With her was three soldiers. “Call me crazy, but I feel like you guys are driving me to a court-martial. Actually, it’s more like you guys are gonna pull over and snuff me. Are you guys not allowed to talk?” asked Lightning Dust. “We can talk, ma’am,” said the soldier on Lightning’s immediate left. “Ah, so it’s personal?” said Lightning. “No, you intimidate them,” said the driver, who was a handsome stallion. “Holy Faust, you’re a stallion. Sorry, but isn’t that what we’re going for? I mean, I thought of you as a soldier first,” said Lightning with a smirk. “Actually, I’m an airpony,” said the driver. “Well, you’re pretty handsome, I’m actually having a hard time not looking at you now,” said Lightning. The soldiers all chuckled. “It’s all right, laugh, they say its the best medicine, after all,” said Lightning. The soldier in the passenger seat raised his hand. “Oh, come on, you’re kidding with the hand up, right?” said Lightning. “Is it true that you guys at Dust Industries are working on a teleportation device?” asked the soldier. “Excellent question. Yes, we are, but we’re having a little trouble keeping the watermelons from coming back as juice,” said Lightning. “Is it cool if I take a picture with you?” asked the soldier next to Lightning. “Yes, it’s very cool,” said Lightning. The soldier gave his camera to his comrade in the passenger seat. But, before he could take the picture, the humvee in front of them exploded. Almost immediately afterwards, the rest of the convoy came under heavy fire. “Contact left!” yelled the driver. But, no sooner had he left the humvee, the driver was shot and killed. One by one, the other two soldiers left the vehicle, only to be killed. I’m outta here! thought Lightning. She got out of the humvee and dove behind a rock. Lightning pulled out her cell phone and began typing a distress message. Out of the corner of her eye, Lightning saw a missile land next to her. Her jaw dropped when she saw what was on the missile. Dust Industries. Lightning got up and tried to get away from the missile, but it blew up in her face, sending her sprawling. “Ow,” said Lightning. Lightning then noticed something warm and sticky pooling on her chest. She looked down and saw that it was blood. Well, that sucks, thought Lightning, before she passed out… ~ Two days earlier, we find ourselves at the Patriot Awards at Celestia’s Palace Casino and Resort in Los Pegasus. “Lightning Dust,” boomed a male voice as a picture of Lightning appeared on a large screen. “Visionary. Genius. Equestrian patriot. Even from an early age, the daughter of weapons developer Thunder Dust quickly stole the limelight with her brilliant and unique mind. At age four, she built her first circuit board. At age nine, her first engine. At age 17, she graduated with honors from MLP.” “Then, the passing of a titan. Thunder’s lifelong friend and ally Silver Soul steps in to help fill the gap left by the legendary founder. Until, at age 21, the prodigal daughter returns, and is crowned the new CEO of Dust Industries,” boomed the voice, and a magazine cover of a younger Lightning Dust alongside an older unicorn mare with a gray coat and a graying black mane and tail wearing a suit and tie appeared on the screen. The crowd applauded once again. “With the keys to the empire, Lightning opens the door to a new era for her father’s legacy, creating smarter weapons, advanced robotics, and satellite targeting, ensuring freedom for Equestria and her interests around the world.” With that, the slideshow ended and a cyan blue pegasus mare with a rainbow-colored mane and tail wearing a military dress uniform took the stage. “As liaison to Dust Industries, I’ve had the honor with working with a true patriot,” said Rainbow Dash. “She is my friend and my mentor. Fillies and gentlecolts, it is my honor to present this year’s Apogee Award to Miss Lightning Dust!” The band played and the audience burst into applause. But, Lightning didn’t come up to the stage. Rainbow saw Silver Soul out in the crowd. The two mares made eye contact, and Silver shook her head. Typical Lightning. Too busy gambling and having a good time to show up, thought Rainbow as Silver took the stage. “Thanks for the save,” she whispered as she walked off stage. “Don’t mention it,” murmured Silver, before facing the crowd. “Well, I’m not Lightning Dust.” The audience chuckled at this as Silver continued. “But, if I were Lightning, I’d tell you how honored I feel to receive this very prestigious award. Regrettably, the best and worst thing about Lightning is this: she’s always working.” ~ Lightning Dust, meanwhile, was at the Craps table. “Booyah!” said Lightning as she won the round. “You are unbelievable,” said a voice behind Lightning. Lightning turned to see the scowling face of Rainbow Dash. “Oh, no, did they rope you into this?” asked Lightning. “Nopony roped me into anything, they just told me you’d be honored if I presented you with an award,” said Rainbow. Lightning smirked. “That I would be. So, when do I get it?” asked Lightning as she turned back towards the table. Rainbow smirked and tapped Lightning on the shoulder with the award. Lightning looked at it. “Oh, well that was easy. Could you hold onto that for just a second? Thanks,” she said. Lightning placed another bet, rolled the dice, and lost the round. ~ “Tomorrow, 12:00! Don’t be late! I mean it this time!” called Rainbow as Lightning made her way out the door. “Yeah, sure,” said Lightning. throwing the award away as she passed the trash can. She had no sooner made it to her car when a male voice called out. “Miss Dust! My name’s Gabriel Gumms, Technologies Magazine, can I ask you a few questions?” said a green pegasus stallion with a purple mane and tail wearing a stereotypical reporter’s outfit. “He’s handsome,” muttered a female bodyguard named Happy. “Okay, then,” said Lightning as she turned to face Gabriel. “Shoot.” “You’ve been called the ‘Apple Bloom of Boom.’ What do you say to that?” asked Gabriel. “That’s dumb, I don’t paint,” said Lightning. “And what about your other nickname: ‘The Merchant of Death?’” asked Gabriel. “That’s better. Let me guess, Manehattan?” said Lightning. “Fillydelphia, actually,” said Gabriel. “Well, Mr. Fillydelphia. You have my word that when weapons are no longer needed to keep the peace, I’ll start making playground equipment for foals,” said Lightning. “Gee, rehearse that much?” asked Gabriel. “Every night before bedtime. I could show you first hand,” said Lightning. “Look, all I want is a serious answer,” said Gabriel. “You want serious? Here you go: my dad had a philosophy: ‘peace means having a bigger stick than the other guy,’” said Lightning. “Nice words coming from the mare selling the sticks,” said Gabriel. “My father helped defeat the Shadowbolts’ science division, HYDRA, and he worked on the Manehattan Project. A lot of ponies, your professors at Fillydelphia included, would call that being a hero,” said Lightning. “And a lot of ponies would also call that war profiteering,” said Gabriel. “Tell me, do you plan on reporting on all the lives we’ve saved by advancing medical technology or kept from starving with our intelli-crops? Every last one of those breakthroughs were with military funding, honey,” said Lightning. Gabriel looked thoughtful for a moment. “You ever lose an hour of sleep in your life?” he asked. “I wouldn’t mind losing a few with you,” said Lightning. ~ That night, in Lightning’s Maribou mansion, the reporter and the billionaire made their feathers fly.
The DemonstrationThe following morning, Gabriel was still fast asleep on Lightning Dust’s bed. Suddenly, a slightly robotic male voice said, “Good Morning. It’s 11:52 AM on May 27, the weather today will be sunny with scattered clouds. Surf conditions are fair with waist to shoulder high lines. High tide will be at 3:30 PM." Gabriel got up and put his pants on. "Lightning?" he called as he wandered through the mansion. Gabriel saw a small panel on the wall. But, when he touched it, the voice said,"You are not authorized to access this area." "Holy Faust," said Gabriel. "That would be JARVIS, he runs the house," said a Pegasus stallion with a gray coat, a dirty blonde mane and tail, and wearing a white collared shirt and khakis. "I've got your shirt here, it's been dry cleaned and pressed, and there's a car outside that'll take you anywhere you want." "You must be North Star," said Gabriel. "Indeed I am," said North Star Gabriel smirked as he took his shirt. "After all this time, Lightning still has you picking up the dry cleaning," he said. "I do everything that Miss Dust requires. Including, on occasion, taking out the trash. Is that all?" said North. ~ Click here About an hour and a half later, we find Lightning Dust working on the engine of one of her cars while listening to one of her favorite songs.. "Give me an exploded view," said Lightning as she held up a scanner to the engine. "The compression in cylinder four appears to be low," said JARVIS. "Log that," said Lightning just as North Star came in and muted the song just as it got to Iron Mare lives again! “Please don’t turn down my music,” said Lightning, not even looking up at North as she kept working. “You’re supposed to be halfway to the other side of the world right now,” said North Star. “How’d he take it?” asked Lightning. “Like a champ,” said North Star. “Why are you trying to hustle me outta here?” asked Lightning. “Oh, no reason, only that your flight was scheduled to leave an hour and a half ago,” said North Star. Lightning frowned. “Weird. I thought that since it was my plane it’d just wait for me to get there,” she said as she turned to face North. “Lightning, there’s a couple of things I need to talk to you about before I get you outta here,” said North as he looked over the clipboard he had. “And those are?” said Lightning. “Larry called, he’s got another buyer for the Sapphire Paulk in the wings, do you want it, yes or no?” said North. “Well… is it a good representation of her fall period?” asked Lightning, rubbing her chin in a thoughtful manner. “Uh, no, The Falls was where Sapphire Shores lived and worked before becoming the pop sensation she is now, not ‘fall’ as in the season,” corrected North Star. “And?” said Lightning. “Well, I think it’s a fair example, but it’s way too pricy,” said North Star. Lightning smirked as she got up and made her way to the her fridge for a Pepsi Next. “Well, I’ve got the money and I need it. So, buy it and store it,” she said. “Okay… the MLP commencement speech-” said North. “Is in June, don’t bother me with stuff that’s way, way down the road,” said Lightning as she uncapped her pop. “Well, they’re bothering me, so I’m going to say yes-” said North Star. “Try deflecting and absorbing it instead of transmitting it back to me,” said Lightning. Completely ignoring Lightning’s comment, North Star pressed on. “I need you sign this before you get on the plane,” he said. Lightning signed the paper and asked, “Why do you want me out so badly? You got plans or something?” “Actually, I do,” said North. “You know I don’t like it when you have plans,” said Lightning. “I think I’m allowed to have plans on my birthday,” said North. “It’s your birthday?” said Lightning, raising an eyebrow. “Weird, isn’t it? It’s the same day as last year,” said North Star. “Well, then get yourself something nice from me,” said Lightning. “I already did. And it was both stylish and expensive. Thanks, Miss Dust,” said North. “You’re welcome, Mr. Star,” said Lightning, before she downed the rest of her pop and made her way out the door. ~ About 24 hours later, Lightning Dust stood before several important members of the Equestrian Military, including the “Giant Hunter” himself, General Liberty Belle, at a Saddle Arabian weapons test site. To Lightning’s left was a missile launcher “Tell me, fillies and gentlecolts,” said Lightning as she walked is it better to be feared, or respected? I say, what’s wrong with both? With that in mind, I humbly present the crown jewel of Dust Industries Liberty Line, and no, it’s not named after you, General Belle.” Lightning’s comment drew snickers as General Belle smiled and blushed, adding color to his powder-white coat. “All right, as I was saying, this missile system is also the first to incorporate our proprietary repulsor technology. They say the best weapon is one you never have to fire, I respectfully disagree. I favor the weapon that you only have to fire once. That’s how my dad did it, that’s how Equestria does it… and so far it’s worked out nicely,” said Lightning. “Find any reason to let one of these puppies off the chain, and you have my word that the bad guys won’t even put a toe out of their caves.” Lightning nodded to the pony operating the missile launcher. One of the huge missiles launched into the air, and while it was still airborne, it deployed several smaller missiles. “Fillies and gentlecolts, for your consideration… the Hailfire,” said Lightning, spreading her arms and wings as a huge cloud of dust caused by the smaller missiles’ detonations blew over them. ~ After the demonstration, Lightning grabbed a glass of some kind of liquor from what seemed to be a cryogenic cooler. “I’ll throw one of these in with every purchase of 500 million or more. To peace!” said Lightning. Just then, her phone rang. It was Silver Soul. “What are you doing up?” asked Lightning as she made her way towards a humvee. “I couldn’t sleep until I found out how it went. So, how’d it go?” asked Silver. “It went great! Even The Giant Hunter was impressed,” said Lightning. “That’s my girl! So, I’ll see you tomorrow, right?” asked Silver. “See you then,” said Lightning as she got into the humvee. “Lightning!” called Rainbow as she walked up to the humvee Lightning was in. “Sorry, Dash, but this is the ‘funvee.’ I believe the ‘hum-drum-vee’ is back there somewhere,” said Lightning. “Good job,” said Rainbow. “See you back at the base,” said Lightning. And with that, the ill-fated convoy began...
The Ten CollarsLightning Dust groaned as she woke up on a cot in what appeared to be a big dark cave, lit only by a small crackling fire. Not far from Lightning, a brown Earth Pony mare with a black mane and tail wearing part of a suit combed her mane. Lightning then saw a cup of water, which would probably help her with her searing throat. But, as she reached for it, she ended up knocking it to the ground. She turned herself over to grab the cup. “I wouldn’t do that if I were you,” said the mare. Lightning looked on the other side of the cot to see what looked like a car battery with wires attached to it that seemed to lead… In a panic, Lightning tore off the filthy bandages on her chest. Surgically attached just above her breasts was a circular device that almost resembled some kind of plug. Lightning, horrified, sat up very carefully. “What the Tartarus did you do to me?” she demanded. The mare chuckled. “What I did to you saved your life. I removed all the shrapnel I could, but there’s still a lot left, and it’s headed right for your heart,” she said, tossing Lightning a small vial. "I've seen more wounds like those in my village than I would care to count. We call them the walking dead, because it takes about a week for the barbs to pierce the vital organs," explained the mare. "And this is?" asked Lightning, pointing at the device in her chest. "An electromagnet hooked up to a car battery. And it's keeping the shrapnel from entering your heart," said the mare. "You know, we actually met once at a technical conference in Haytaly back in 2000." "Only thing I remember about that is that botanist and his project, what was it called... EXTREMIS," said Lightning. The mare looked impressed. "I'm surprised you remember anything about that night. If it were me, I wouldn't even remember how I got there," she said. Just then, a voice started yelling in a foriegn dialect. "Come on! Stand up! Do as I do!" hissed the mare. Very carefully, Lightning Dust stood up and put her hands behind her head as a small squad of armed Diamond Dogs entered. Lightning realized what the Dogs were holding. "Those are my guns. How the buck did they get my guns?" asked Lightning. "Shut up and do as I do!" hissed the mare. A burly Diamond Dog entered and started speaking in the same dialect as before, which the mare translated for Lightning. "He says 'welcome Lightning Dust, the most famous mass murderer in Equestrian history. He is honored,'" the mare translated. As the dog continued speaking, he gave the mare a picture. "He wants you to build the Hailfire missle you demonstrated, the one in the picture," said the mare, showing Lightning Dust the picture. Lightning looked the Diamond Dog right in the eye and said, "Go buck yourselves and give me my guns back." For that little remark, the Diamond Dogs grabbed Lightning Dust and stuck her head into a water barrel, only allowing her to breathe for a few seconds between each dunk. As she was tortured, Lightning had an idea, one that could serve as an alternative to the car battery magnet. Once the Dogs were finished torturing Lightning, a wool sack was placed over her head as well as the head of her fellow captive. As they were led through the twisting caves, Lightning was making very careful notes about the route they were taking. Finally, the two captives arrived at the entrance to the caves, where the lead Diamond Dog gave the order to remove the hoods. Wincing in the bright sunlight, Lightning and the mare were led into the center of what looked like the base camp of an extermist group. With a growing disgust, Lightning saw several crates with Dust Industries on them. The lead Diamond Dog spoke again, and the mare translated, "He wants to know what you think." "I think you've got too many of my weapons for me to be comfortable with," said Lightning. The Diamond Dog continued speaking as the mare translated, "They have everything you need to build the Hailfire missle. He wants you to make the list of materials. He wants you to start immediately and when you're done, he'll set you free." The Diamond Dog held out his claw, and Lightning had no choice but to shake it. "No, he won't," said Lightning. "No, he won't," said the mare. ~ Back in the cave, the mare and Lightning sat around the fire. "Look, what you just saw out there. That's your legacy, Lightning: your life's work, designed to protect and save lives, in the hands of terrorists! Is that really how you want to go out?" said the mare. When Lightning didn't respond, she pressed on, "Is this the last act of defiance, of the great Lightning Dust? Or are you going to do something about it?" "Why should I bother doing anything? They'll kill us both either way, and even if they don't, it's game over for me in a week," said Lightning. "Well, then I suppose this is a very important week for you, isn't it?" said the mare. ~ It took about a day for the Diamond Dogs to get the cave fully outfited for everything Lightning Dust needed. As she and the mare, who was named Black Smith, worked, a process that included melting down palladium, Smith told Lightning what they were up against. Their captors were an extermist group known as the Ten Collars, and that they'd been buying weapons from Dust Industries for a few years. Finally, after about four days, Lightning and Smith had built something, but it wasn't a missile. It was a small device similar to the magnet in Lightning's chest, except it had a blue glow coming from it. Lightning smirked when Smith pointed this out. "That's because it's a miniatureized ARC Reactor. I've got a full-sized one powering my factory at home. This oughta keep the shrapnel out of my heart," she said. "But, what could it generate?" asked Smith. "Well, if my math is right, and it always is, three gigajoules per second," said Lightning. "That could run your heart for 50 lifetimes," said Smith in amazement. "That or it could run something big for fifteen minutes. Now, come on, I want to show you something," said Lightning as she got up and walked over to the table. She grabbed three sheets of drawing paper as Smith followed her. "This," said Lightning as she positioned the papers. "Is our ticket out." "What is it?" asked Smith. "Why don't you flatten them out and look?" asked Lightning. Smith did, and her jaw dropped at what she saw. It was the diagram of a pegasus wearing a clunky, but clearly effective, suit of robotic armor.
