As Red as Apples

by overlord-flinx

Rating: teen
Tags: Applejack, Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Alternate Universe, Nurse Redheart, Romance, Sex, DJ P0N-3, Human
Length: 4836

Forced onto a blind date without any heads-up? Yeah. That's how you start a relationship!

Redheart, a sweet, kind, hardworking, cat-loving, stay-at-home-watching-her-Soaps kind of woman. Hard luck with love, she's always been on the lookout for a guy to sweep her off her feet. But, when Vinyl comes along with a "proposition" she can't refuse (even if she wanted to), Redheart just might find the answer to her sleepless, loveless nights... Let's hope they like cats.

Humanized ponies; for your own future information.

Published 2014-07-12 21:20:05 UTC
Last updated 2016-01-13 03:16:49 UTC

Red Apples.

Hello to each and every one of you. My name is Redheart. Well, really, that's not my full name. It really doesn't even reflect my profession; which is a very big part of my life. I'm a nurse, you see. So, normally, people call me Nurse Redheart. But I skipped those details because -well- you probably wouldn't be all that interested in all of that. Right? I mean, you have your own exciting lives with exciting names and hobbies! We should talk more about you instead of me. I mean, I'm me! And you're you! There's -uh- a lot more to you than me. Am I right? Heh-heh-heh-heh-ehhh...

...Sorry. My therapist said I should really start talking more highly of myself. You can see how well I'm doing at that, right? Heh-heh-heh-ehhh... Hm? Why do I have a therapist? Well it's not because I'm crazy. It's because... Well... It's because of a lot of a lot of things that built up over time. My social life, my sex life, my personal life, my crippling fear of blood, the fact I work at a hospital, my blood pressure, my anxiety, my self destructive personality... But -uh- what else is new, am I right? Heh-heh-heh-heh-ehhh...

I for one didn't want to see a therapist; I can solve my own problems like a strong, confident woman should... After -you know- I expand on the strong part... and the confident part... and maybe the woman part... B-but my point stands! I said I didn't need to see a therapist at all. But... Vinyl insisted. And -if you know Vinyl- when she insists, you find it hard to get out of the way she's pulling. I guess if I didn't have her as a friend, I would probably not be as far into life as I am now...

I know what you're thinking: "Vinyl Scratch? That DJ who's always partying? Why is she friends with a sad sack life her?". First, words hurt sir or ma'am... Second, it was a strange set of circumstances that put us together. You see, we're not just friends... We're best friends. Friends to the end as she'd say. Through thick and thin. Of course, when she picked me to be her best friend I didn't have a say in it. But, I guess that's fine... Truth be told I wasn't very good at making friends in the first place.

You see, when she and I were in elementary school, I spent most of my time out of class as the nurse's aide. Even when I was small, I dreamed of being a doctor someday... I just assumed the more time you spent by a 'doctory' person, the more likely you'd become a doctor. A-Anyway, the nurse never let me help her with anything too extreme like splinting injuries, giving shots, things like that; but she did give me the duty of going around school and hand out juice boxes to keep other students hydrated on really hot days.

It just so happened that on that one special day, I spotted Vinyl eating a tray of crackers. You know the kind. The ones that are really salty and that teens these days use to have these "salty challenges"? Anyway... She was eating those right before recess. I was a little worried that she'd dehydrate herself with so many crackers, so I walked up to her with a juice box.

"Excuse me. It's a really, really hot day out today. Eating that much salt will dry you out. Have a juice box so you don't pass out."

But she refused. She told me she'd be fine since she doesn't run around at recess; then she went right back to wolfing down crackers... Now... I... I don't know why I did it... Maybe I was just being worrisome for the safety of another student... But... When she wasn't looking, I slipped one of my juice boxes into her backpack before she went out for recess. It was that little choice that changed the course of my life forever...

What happened at recess I won't ever fully understand... But somehow, Vinyl started choking on a nickle? D-Don't ask me how or why she had a nickle in her throat; the point is, she was choking off by the sandbox she usually spent recess kicking. I guess maybe the sandbox kicked back that day. Heh-heh-heh-heh-ehhh... It's not funny, she could have died; I'm the worst... A-Anyway, no one was around to help her. But... When she reached into her backpack to try and find something to wave someone down with, she found my juice box. She used that to wash down the nickle and effectively save her life... I don't think the nickle would have killed her, honestly; but Vinyl sure thought it would.

She swore to me that day that we'd be best friends for life... It's been about twenty years since that day. I've gone to medical school, I moved away from town for nearly seven years, and a lot of people forgot me... But Vinyl never did. She waited for me at the bus stop when I came home, she wrote me every month and called me every weekend. I changed as the years rolled on by... But Vinyl never forgot what I 'did for her', and never let go of that promise she made. And... I'm glad she didn't. Heh.

At times it's really nice to have an abrasive friend willing to force you to go to therapy. And a friend that doesn't judge you for the amount of cats you keep in your apartment... ten. Mumbles, Britannia, Bangle, Nikki, Kit-Kat, S'more, Pants (Vinyl named that one), Bluebell, Galahad, and Mittens. Each of them are my little bundles of joy who I love soooooooo much!... A-Anyway...

Also... I guess it's rather nice to have a friend that doesn't want me to be so alone... But it isn't very nice to have a friend that puts your name up on dating websites without your permission! It's frustrating at times, actually. I mean... I would like someone to share my life with... B-But Vinyl is far too brazen about filling out that order! Here; I saved her latest -that I know of- dating application she put up for me on a site called "".

"Naughty female nurse looking for 10ccs of a strong hunk of man to give me plenty of TLC (Tongue, love, and cunnilingus) in return for them putting their thermometer wherever they want. Must love cats, strawberry ice cream, chick flicks, more cats, and cunnilingus. The cunnilingus is non-negotiable. I am a fine, fit young woman fresh out of med-school with pink hair and a firm butt. Interested? Send me a message."

It's... It's indecent! I mean, it's just so... Vinyl. That's the word for it. It's just so Vinyl. It's just crass, indecent, humiliating, and she even posted it in the newspapers for two weeks straight! I couldn't bare to go to work with-with-with...! UGH! Vinyl! She just makes my skin crawl sometimes. With a friend like her...! With a friend like her... With a... Friend like her... With a friend like her you just never feel like something could be all that bad. She's really a sweet, wonderful girl who has done nothing but bring some light into my world. G-Granted that light is sometimes very bright and hot to the point I need to crawl under a couch and stay there for a few days; b-but it's still a nice gesture. Heh-heh-heh-heh-heh-ehhhhh...

So, um, yeah... That's my life all wrapped up with a pretty, self-deprecating, crazy-cat-lady, nearly-friendless bow. I see a therapist, I live alone with a wonderful litter of beautiful kitties, and the most sexually exciting thing that happens in my house is when "Sunset: Breaking Dusk" comes on. Ohhh Edwin... B-but that doesn't mean my apartment isn't exciting! Heh. I mean, sometimes I-I-I stack the Asian takeout boxes into little forts for my cats! OH! I also happen to be the world champion at toothpick sculptures... I mean... I might be... I never checked... If I did, I might find out I'm actually terrible at it and I might quit... B-But! I've still been able to make perfect models of almost all of town. Right now, I am working on Canterlot castle! I'm so excited for it to be done so I can show Vinyl! She'll...! Probably be as interested as before...

On the thought of Vinyl, I wonder where she is tonight? Usually she'd be lounging on my sofa watching my over five-thousand channels... What? Is it surprising that I working nurse with no boyfriend and living in a cramped apartment would splurge on a curved plasma screen TV and satellite networking? Because it's surprising to me! Vinyl made me! But... The cats love watching Animal Planet on it, so I don't really complain about it... Anyway, normally she'd be here on a Friday night. Her girlfriend Octavia works a third shift on Fridays, and Vinyl hates sitting at her place all alone. A-And she knows I don't really mind the company... Heh.

But, she's nowhere. I mean, she's somewhere. Everyone's somewhere. Even a dead body is in a morgue or in a grave. Wait, do you think she's in a morgue or a grave?! Oh no. Oh no, oh no, oh no! What if she's--Calm... Calm... Peace, Redheart. Peace. Fluffy bunnies in a sweet meadow. Fluffy bunnies in a sweet meadow... Aaaaand I'm back. I'm sure she's absolutely fine. She's not me, she can handle herself. Heh-heh-heh-ehhh... Ohhhh...

Where's Mumbles...? I need a hug now...

Hot pizza, hot pizza, hot pizza, hot pizza~~... Love that song! I know Tavi and Red both said it's heartbeats, but come on! They're totally saying hot pizza! And why shouldn't they? Who doesn't like hot pizzas? Wang-heads, that's who. Those two just need to get their ears checked. Hot pizza... Mmmmm... Note to brain-self: pick up a pizza after throwing Red out of her apartment. After the shabaz I went through tonight getting everything set, I deserve a hot slice of cheese and sauce. I'm so f-ing smart; I'm like one of them artificial intelligences!

For years -YEARS- I've had to watch my Red be all blue over not getting a date that just clicked. But now! NOW, I have an answer to the problem. It's way easy! As ease as Tavi is when you nibble behind her--Uhhh... It's easy, 'nuff said. Got the pieces in motion, Red's not suspecting a thing, and I'm a genius. Plow that all together, and you've got one hot mix. I owe Red a good effort; she's my homie. Always has been.

You know that saint-send saved my sorry ass? I was DEAD! No one was there to pull me back, but she gave me a hook-shot back to life. Because of her, I can still do what I love. She literally gave air to my lungs that day. And Vinyl always pays her debts tenfold. Whether someone wants me to or not. It's how mama and daddy raised me; never leave a job undone. And Red is a job... a job I've finally finished!

Oh-ho-ho yes. This will be sweet... Hm? GAH! Shake a tail feather, Vinyl! The plans already moving on without you! Hup-hup! Off to Red's house we go~~.

"One more, Mumbles... One more..." The young nurse, dressed up in her 'jammies' and purring kittens pressed against her kneeling form, slowly applied one toothpick after the other into the self-made model of a near flawless castle.

Redheart's fingers quivered in anticipation around the lone toothpick she had clamped between her thumb and slender index finger as she moved to place it into the developing tower. Her tongue ran against her dry lips once before she nervously bit into her bottom lip, knowing that one misstep so far into her project, the whole of Canterlot could fall into chaos. Absolute quiet... Absolute focus... This moment, was defining in her craft. Every inch she made closer to fitting the next pick into the tower was that much closer to completion, and destruction. "Almost... There..." Redheart murmured to her nearly silent audience.

Wind! Crash! Slam! Bam! Canterlot tumbled to the ground from tip to base and the feline beasts that watched its construction scattered at the loud noise that filled the small apartment. Redheart sat there, toothpick still in hand and face now filled with shocked distraught and an unhinged chuckle past through her lips. The only company to follow after Canterlot's scale model falling apart before the nurse was that of Vinyl shouting a greeting after slamming Redheart's front door wide open. "Well, hey Red! I didn't come in on anything important, right?" Not waiting for an answer, Vinyl skipped into the abode and allowed the door to shut behind her.

Redheart was still petrified by all of Canterlot crumbling, as if a hurricane had whipped through the countryside, decimating all in its wake. Even when she saw Vinyl standing next to the couch from the corner of her eye, Redheart still reflected on the loss of 'life' just suffered. "Oh... Damn..." Vinyl hissed at her voice when she took in the calamity crumbled before her friend, "That was Canterlot, wasn't it?"

"Uh-huh..." Redheart's voice cracked, hand still holding that last toothpick ready to be placed where the tower used to be.

"Fffff... Sorry, Red. I could--" Vinyl quickly flicked her left hand out towards Red, only for the young nurse to take hold of Vinyl's wrist with her free hand.

Slowly, Redheart rose and expelled her stressful air from her body before smiling kindly at Vinyl with a small cock of her head. "It's fine, Vinyl. I'll just... Do it again," Redheart let out her usual 'heh-heh-heh-ehhh' with a shoulder sink, the same action she did everyday when she was trying not to get down on herself.

Vinyl swatted at the back of her own head before seizing both her hands around Redheart's offered hand. Red looked surprised, turning red at her cheeks when Vinyl leaned in to look her right in the eyes. It was at that point that Redheart noted that Vinyl was not wearing her usual shades. Surely, something was in the air. And knowing Vinyl, it was something that was going to stay in the air all night. "Red. Listen up..." Oh no. "You can build Canterlot, Panterlot, Fuckerlot later. Tonight, we're changing your life forever."

"V-Vinyl, I'm on my pajamas..." Redheart looked down at her own white footy-pajamas with little red crosses in patterns across it.

"That you are! So you'll have to get changed into your finest whatevers. Why?" I didn't ask why. "Because I set you up on a date."

A blind date. Oh no. N-No, no, no, no! Redheart desperately tried to tug her hand out from Vinyl's grasp, but with a lack of upper body strength, Redheart only kept stringing back to Vinyl at each of her tugs. "That's so... You, of you to do, Vinyl. B-B-But I'm already ready for bed. I was just going to finish my model before I tucked in."

Even as Redheart fought her, Vinyl slowly started to tug the nurse along towards the front door of the apartment. "That's why I told you to get changed. The night's young, you'll have a great date!"

She looked around the apartment as fast as she could, looking for some sort of lever she could use to pry Vinyl's hands off of her wrist. "And what about my cats? I usually set out a meal for them when I plan for a date." Grabbing a plastic fork from the counter as she was pulled past it, Redheart wedged the makeshift lever between her wrist and Vinyl's hand, only for the plastic to snap right after her first attempt at breaking the grip.

"I'll stay here and feed 'em. And watching your TV. Your welcome." Finally, Vinyl pulled Redheart to the welcome mat of her apartment and grabbed at the knob of the door, ready to open it.

"B-B-B-But--"

Vinyl spun around slamming her hand hard onto Redheart's shoulder, nearly knocking her down onto her butt. Both of Vinyl's hands were finally off Red's wrist, but now she was being held at the shoulder to prevent her escape. "Red... This is good for you. Come on... Please? I put a lot of effort into this one," Vinyl's tone became surprisingly pleading, something Redheart never heard from her friend, "Just go out tonight. If you have a bum time, you have a bum time. But I SWEAR you'll have a great time. Please?"

Redheart paused, truly chewing over her friend's words. She did seem very fixated on doing this for her. And if she did go through so much trouble, she could at least meet the person. "...But--"

"Oh for God sake...!" Vinyl rolled her eyes with a new smirk on her face suddenly broken free from the pleading look she had just a moment ago.

Without warning, the front door of the apartment was swung wide open, greeting Vinyl and Redheart alike to the outside world. To some surprise, someone was standing in wait just outside in the hallway in front of Redheart's apartment. Before registering who Vinyl had blindly set her up with, Redheart burned a deep shade in her cheeks and swatted Vinyl in the chest. "You didn't let me get changed ye--..." Pause. Redheart's lips were parted, ready to keep on scolding Vinyl... But not a word came out.

Instead of keeping on with yelling at Vinyl, Redheart's voice fell quiet, dry, and demure when she regarded the woman standing outside of her door. She was fine dressed in a long black dress that hugged to her fit curves and allowed for her blonde hair to really show against the dark contrast. Slowly, Redheart finally muttered out a single, lone word. "H-hey..."

The farm-girl-dressed-fancy curled out a sweet, honest smile as she narrowed her eyes to really look at the girl on the other side of the doorway. "Hey yer'self... Nice jammies."

Dress Up

A woman's jammies are their pride and joy; their pleasure and their comfort. It serves to hold them close, caressing them indiscriminately no matter how the day treated them. They were the truest of friends. The staunchest of allies. As warm as a hug, yet not as constricting as one. They are great for all occasions around the house when someone just wants to relax an cool off from a long day at the office; or the hospital in some cases.

But, they are not the best for going out on a date with. Perhaps a stay-in date, but not one for actually "going out". That being the reason why Vinyl quickly excused Redheart from her blind-date's presence. Before either Redheart or Applejack could blurt out a word, Vinyl whipped her best friend out from the doorway and into her bedroom; she of course coming right along with her. Most dates would ask a question or maybe be put off by their own date not being ready for them. But Applejack felt different. An amused smile arose across her lightly freckled face as she watched Vinyl drag her pajama-wearing friend -her would-be date- into the bedroom.

The young farm-girl welcomed herself into the well maintained apartment while she waited for Redheart to be released from whatever plans Vinyl had in store. The scent of cat litter and abandonment air-freshener was what met her deeper into the humble home; followed soon by the ones that the litter was used for. They converged at Applejack's feet, mewing and pawing at her with bright yellow and green eyes. Being the dog person she was, Applejack never really handled any cats before. Still, she knelt down ever-so slightly to run her hand against the tops of one of their heads.

She could already feel bits of cat hair now clinging to her dress as the clowder of cats started to rub up against her, purring at the sensation of a new 'friend'. There was no telling how long Vinyl would hold up Redheart with changing her clothes. At least now Applejack had some adorable little friends to keep her company.

"Look at'cha, you're a hot mess!" Vinyl paced from one side of Redheart's room to the other, hand tugging at where she would have had a beard if only she could grow one, "And I don't mean like shit hot mess. I mean you're hot but you're looking like a mess. I mean, PJs? Come on! You have a date tonight, Red!"

Redheart sat at the end of her bed while she watched Vinyl try to figure out what they were going to do; watching her friend tug at her imaginary beard in thought as she would often do. "You did sorta... Pop this onto me..." Redheart rebuked Vinyl's critique, though knew it to be futile all too well.

"PSSSSH!" Vinyl waved off the comment, "Life is full of surprises! The unpredictable! Me dragging you into a date you didn't see coming is -crazy enough- not one of those surprises or unpredictable happenstances. This is real! This happens every other week! Don't order a hot dog if you don't got the bun!"

She was right, of course. This sort of thing should be predictable at this point when it came to Vinyl. In a way, Redheart was thankful for that. To have a friend always on her side, looking out for her and trying to make her life that much better. On the other hand, Vinyl was always doing that: Night or day. Sometimes both. At times it was exhausting for Redheart to deal with. To always have Vinyl clinging to her back; prowling with eyes and ears for someone to "sweep her off her feet" and "make her toes curl".

Exhausting...

...But she smiled. "You're right, Vinyl..." A sigh parted and a peaceful smile took form, "So, perhaps you can pick something out for me to wear?"

Beautiful were those words. No greater words had ever been spoken since Ali Baba spoke "Open Sesame" to gain entrance to the Thieves' trove of treasures. But while all that was for worthless gold, this was for love. For a friend. For booty. The greatest trinity of treasures to ever be gathered in one place without things getting awkward. Vinyl was like lightning from one side of the room to the other. She threw herself into Redheart's closet--sparse though it may have been. Redheart wasn't one for shopping for clothes that often. She had her work uniform, her jammies, her 'lazy Sunday' shirt-pants combo, and her sassy 'I-Broken-Heart-Dogs' shirt. The rest were gifts from friends and family; ones that she happily accepted but never wore outside the house.

Every hanger Vinyl pulled yielded the same response from her: a cock of the head as she thought about it, a disgusted scowl after she envisioned it, then the toss of it onto Redheart's perfectly clean floor. All with the same: "Hmmmm... Yeeeeees? Nnnnnnooo...? No!"

"Well... What if I wore my--"

Before Redheart could finish her suggestion, Vinyl turned to look at her with a disappointed frown. "No, Red, you can't just wear your nurse stuff everywhere..." Vinyl turned back to the closet for just a second before looking back to Redheart, "It's weird. Alright? You've got a fucking hot -'s'cuse my language- farm-girl waiting in your living room, probably stroking pussy -your pussy- and you wanna go sporting the Nurse look... Save that for -you know- after the dates, alright? People eat that kinky stuff up..."

Redheart was true to her name right after Vinyl went back to searching her closet: red. Vinyl lacked a filter in the worst of times and didn't care what she said at the best of times. Redheart understood what she meant, but it still served to quiet her up very well. While Redheart sat on her bed, thumbing her fingers together with a fluster, Vinyl screeched her search to a hard stop. Her ruby eyes twinkled mischief, surprise, and hope. Redheart noted the sudden stop and peered over to see what had finally caught her friend's complete attention.

Dread.

"Oh, Vinyl, please no..." Vinyl undid it from its hanger, "I wore it once, and I didn't like it. It's... It's drafty," Vinyl's eyes gleamed a devilish red as she set her sites on her recanting friend, "Please don't, Vinyl. Pleeeeeease. I-I bet there's still something really nice in my closet if you just keep looking. Something cute," Vinyl drew closer with one step, "Something fitting," Another step closer, "Something with more to it!"

With a pounce from where she was standing to where Redheart was sitting on the bed, it was all over. Vinyl was on Redheart like an animal, clawing at her with woeful abandon. Redheart squeaked and protested, but Vinyl paid little mind as she went to work. "It looks awesome, Red! Just stop struggling!" Vinyl grunted and huffed at Redheart as she fought her.

As hard as Redheart fought, it was without much return on her side. Why did I cancel my gym membership? That thought nagged at her as Vinyl flipped her over and found the zipper to Redheart's pajamas. Redheart's eyes went wide and her cheeks flushed the deepest red when she heard the sound of her back zipper going down. She could feel the warmth of her pajama's leaving her back and the sudden feeling of cool air gracing against her now naked back. "V-Vinyl! I can change myself!" Redheart wanted to yell, but her words fell to that of a mouse.

"No! I know you, Red. If I leave, you're gonna go fishing for something else to wear or put on your uniform," Vinyl chirped playfully, her fingers lightly grazing against Redheart's exposed back, "Mama's gotta make sure her baby puts on the right stuff for her big night."

Somehow, Vinyl's words did not invoke a feeling of relief to Redheart. But any feeling of anxiety quickly twisted as she felt Vinyl yank the pajama sleeves off from down Red's arms. "There's the top half! Now..." Vinyl cooed very lowly, her eyes going down Redheart's backside.

"Vinyl, please. Not again!" Redheart pleaded, but the cycle continued.

From outside the room where Vinyl and Redheart fought and argued, Applejack couldn't help but look to the closed door curiously. Yelps, groans, even a moan or two escalated from behind closed doors. If she was an assuming person, she'd maybe think the worst. But, Vinyl promised Applejack everything was going to be fine before she showed up; so maybe this was just how the two did things. At the very least, she would just have to wait and see.

As soon as the thought came to her, the answer came just as soon. With a bang, Redheart's bedroom door swung open and Vinyl came stumbling out. She looked haggard and out of breath, the tank-top she wore tugged off to one side and her hair prickled more than usual. A thick aroma permeated from the room behind her, which Applejack took a whiff of once before giving a little snicker. "Y'all doin' alright?"

Vinyl made a tired but satisfied smirk as she shot a thumbs-up to Applejack. "She's a fighter...! But I am a warrior!" Vinyl threw her hands up in triumph, still panting, "Sorry to keep you waiting. Now, look sharp and say~~~~~" Vinyl ran over to the nearby kitchen counter to start drumming her hands against it for her own make-shift drum-roll.

The drum-roll had to extend for a little while longer than Vinyl had wanted as her 'main event' was hesitant to leave the safety of her room. But, when she did, Applejack was pleasantly surprised. Redheart stepped out into the living room, bashfully looking to the floor to avoid eye contact with her date and her 'best-friend-attacker'. Her pink hair had been fashioned into a brand new bun, one that allowed her bangs to frame around her meek visage. And though it was clearly uncomfortable to her in some way, her arms were exposed as well as her shoulders thanks to the dress she wore. A simple pink one-piece dress with a low-cut skirt was all that framed out her thin body as she stood before her blind-date.

"Hello, Nurse!" Vinyl finally ended her drum-roll and waved her hands out before Redheart as if presenting her.

"...Hello, Nurse," Applejack greeted the after-hours nurse with an almost off-guard surprise.

Author's Note

Finally! I hope to get back to this REALLY soon in a week or two. There will only be one or two chapters more depending on what people want.

Also, if you'd like a little look into what happened during that changing scene, let me know. Maybe I have a "M" rated add-on story for what happened there. Maybe I have one for after this story too. Who knows?