Rainbooms of Thunder

by Crystal Static

Rating: teen
Tags: Main 6, Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Alternate Universe, Other, Rainbow Dash, Random, Princess Celestia, Wonderbolts
Length: 4554

After a particularly nasty crash, Rainbow Dash discovers a secret about herself.

I am the fastest pegasus in Equestria. I am a future wonderbolt. I am Rainbow Dash.

Or so I thought...

After the crash, I am not sure what I am anymore.

Cover art by 'Midnight Sonare'.

I am not good at writing, but I am trying. I have difficulty outside of my 'journal style' past tense format, and it isn't an easy thing for me to learn. Just bear with me as I try to write what I was essentially begged to work on even though I am not a good writer.

Published 2014-05-22 18:00:06 UTC
Last updated 2016-02-26 18:46:28 UTC

Chapter One - System Shock

Rainbooms of Thunder

System Shock

I slowly open my eyes, only to find that my vision is blurry. I see a few colored shapes around me, but I am not sure what they are. I think back to the last thing I remember; I was attempting to do a spiral twist at rainboom speeds, but a crosswind hit me and I spun out of control. I must be in the hospital.

"She is waking up, I just hope she doesn't freak out."

"How do ya know that this thing is Rainbow Dash? Fer all we know, it could be some kind of monster."

"Applejack, we found her in a crater that witnesses claimed was made by Rainbow Dash, unless she was suddenly replaced with this without any of the twelve witnesses noticing, this is Rainbow."

My vision clears, and I see Nurse Redheart and Applejack next to me. With a nervous chuckle, I speak up, "Hey guys, how long was I out? I feel like I was hit by the friendship express."

Applejack backs away slowly, with a fearful look on her face. "Hey AJ, why you acting all scared like that? I can't have been hurt that bad."

"YOU'RE NOT RAINBOW!" Applejack yells, then bolts from the room.

"Hey nurse, what was that about?"

"I'll go get you a mirror, that should answer some of your questions, but it may raise quite a few more." Nurse Redheart leaves the room.

Well that was weird… why would AJ think I am not Rainbow Dash? Did I get so horribly disfigured from the crash that she couldn't recognize me?

Before my thoughts could spiral any more, Nurse Redheart returns with a hoof mirror.

"I have a mirror Rainbow, just don't panic."

She hoofs over the mirror and I turn to see my face, "Why would I panic, I am just… fine… okay, is this some kind of prank? Good one Pinkie, you can come out now!" I wait a few moments and Pinkie doesn't appear. "...This isn't a prank is it?"

"I assure you that this is no prank. I can say that your friends are worried about you though. They have been waiting in the lobby for the last few hours. I can send an orderly to go fetch them if you want me to."

"Sure nurse, I think I really need some friends to talk to…"

A few minutes after Nurse Redheart sent for my friends, they enter the room.

Pinkie Pie gets right up in my face before opening her legendary motormouth, "Wowee Dash, you look so cool as a robot! I wonder what I would look like as a robot. Can robots eat cupcakes? I don't think I could live if I couldn't eat cupcakes. I wonder what cupcakes taste like to a robot, I mean if robots can eat cupcakes-" I jam my hoof in her mouth before my ears fall off.

"Pinkie, you are so random. Also, how are you taking this so well, I thought it was a prank at first when I found out."

"Well you see, when I was a little filly, grannie pie told me, 'looks can change, it is what's on the inside that counts'. So since I knew it was still you I didn't have to worry about what you look like."

"Okay, thanks Pinkie, that means a lot…" I look over to Rarity and Twilight, "Hey girls. Yes, I know I am a robot. No, I didn't know until today. Yes, I am still the same old Rainbow Dash you know. And no Rarity, you are not making me a new dress to match my body."

"But Darling, Gadget Chic is on the rage right now."

"I said no Rares. I don't want a new dress, and I don't want to be pestered about 'what is all the rage right now'."

Twilight finally speaks up, "This is fascinating. A fully self aware electromagimechanical construct. Rainbow, I will need to see you in my lab when you get out of here… just to make sure everything is okay, hehe."

"Twilight, the day I let you take me into your lab for tests is the day I trade my wings for spatulas and let pinkie teach me to do the polka."

"Ugh fine, but if you ever break something, I get to be the one to fix it for you."

"Okay then Doctor Egghead."

I stop to think for a moment while Twilight scowls at me for calling her an egghead, "Hey girls, where is Fluttershy and Applejack?"

Rarity and Twilight suddenly find the ground incredibly interesting as then nervously shuffle back and forth before Rarity speaks up, "Well you see darling, Applejack is convinced that you are some monster replacing Rainbow Dash, and Fluttershy had to go take care of Carrot Top's rabbit problem. I am not sure how Fluttershy will react to your appearance, but I am sure she will be afraid at first."

"Well that's just perfect, one of my friends thinks I am an imposter, and the other will probably be terrified of me. At least you three aren't scared."

Twilight decides to interject, "We're your friends Dash, we would never be afraid of you. I do have to write the Princess about this though."

"What! Why would you tell the Princess?"

"As an element of harmony, you are one of the most important defences of Equestria, and Princess Celestia wants to know if anything that could be concerning happens to us. Finding out that one of us is a robot counts as concerning Dash."

"Just make sure that she knows that it's still me…"

After my friends left, I decided to take a nap. I didn't dream of anything, but when I woke up, my vision was a little bit different. When I looked at things, glowing blue circles appeared around them, and next to the circles were words telling what they were and some other stuff. A little meter was in the bottom right of my vision, glowing green with the words 'Charge level: 97%', and I realized that the meter was how much energy I had before I needed to recharge. As I thought about how I recharge, a rectangle appeared filled with blue text told me that I charge by sleeping.

I glanced outside and realized that it was night. I looked to see why the lights were on, but then I saw that they weren’t. Hey! I can see in the dark! So cool!

I still don't know how I looked like a normal pony before the crash, but I am sure I will figure out how to make myself look normal again before long. Can I still join the wonderbolts though? Will I even be able to fit in anymore? This fancy display thing that tells me stuff is cool though, maybe being a robot will be okay.

Author's Note

I saw a picture of a robot Rainbow Dash, and I decided that I wanted to write a Rainbot Dash fic.

This was an impulse write, but I think I might like to actually finish this fic.

Chapter Two - Self-discovery

Rainbooms of Thunder

Self-discovery

I woke up the next morning at exactly seven-twenty-five, at least according to the clock in the corner of my eye. I have a charge of ninety-nine percent and draining, and a flashing icon telling me to 'inspect my hardware for blockages and debris'.

As I look over my body, I realize just how different I am from what I thought I was. My wings, they are almost a pea-pod shape with glowing lights that are marked as exhaust ports in my vision, and my legs look like something out of a Termarenator movie. I can see the motors and mechanical parts on my legs, as well as some glowing... ports... of some kind on my hooves. Actually, now that I think about it, the ports on my legs are glowing just like the ports on my wings, I think that is what allows me to fly and work with clouds… Wait a second, I can ask my body a question and it should answer, if what happened when I woke up earlier is anything to go by…

What are those glowing things on my legs and wings? A box of text pops up in my vision.

The ports on your wings and hooves allow the channeling of simulated pegasi magic, allowing you the gift of flight and the ability to move and manipulate clouds with the same abilities as a normal pegasus. The small vertical meter on the left hand side of your display tells you the current amount of simulated pegasi magic in your system. Levels will spike as you use it.

When in flight, the levels will be higher when doing extreme maneuvers or flying at high speeds. When manipulating clouds, levels fluctuate depending on what task you are trying to accomplish. When you are not in flight or manipulating clouds, levels will be nominal, although cloud walking has a slightly higher level than baseline.

So I don't even have real pegasi magic. What am I?

You are an experimental prototype android that was created to determine the viability of simulating pegasi magic for military and civilian use. Your personality matrix was added later on in construction to allow you to blend into Equestrian society while you await the Omega Command from your creators.

Wait, so I am an android? That is so cool! But what is the 'Omega Command'?

The Omega Command activates your weapon system protocols, and initiates radio communications between this platform and the remote defense communications relay in Canterlot

Weapon system protocols? I have weapons? What kind of weapons do I have?

You are equipped with a magi-electrical discharge emitter on your right shoulder, and a sonic wave emitter on your left, as well as magi-electrical plasma blade units on your wings and fetlocks. You can enable and disable your weapon system protocols as needed through the command interface.

System, enable weapon system protocols. A few icons pop up on my display, and the panels that were housing my weapons pulled back. The electro cannon thing looks like one of those magical lightning rods you see in cloudsdale, and the sonic blaster looks like a subwoofer attached to a radar dish. The plasma blades smell like after a thundercloud goes off but look sweet. What looks like some kind of targeting system pops up on my display, highlighting everything that can be targeted and telling me what it is.

System, disable weapon system protocols. No use having the turned on in the hospital… thinking of which, why am I still in here?

You are in here because you have not yet made an effort to leave, and you were first brought here by the unicorn Twilight Sparkle after suffering severe impact trauma from colliding with the ground at supersonic speeds. Frankly, if you weren't an android you would be dead.

Shut up, nopony asked you. Wait, did you just snark me?

I did snark you

So am I going crazy, or is there actually a voice in my head?

You are not 'going crazy', I am simply the core programming virtual assistant interface that allows you to maintain optimal operation without overloading your thought processors when you need information about something.

That explains it… I'll probably go crazy anyways, but thanks for clearing that up...

"Hey nurse, can I leave? I mean, I am a robot apparently, and I doubt you know how to use a wrench to fix me…"

"It seems like you should be okay to go, just follow me up to the front desk and we can get you checked out."

As we trot up the the front desk, I notice all of the ponies in the waiting room staring at me, "Are you guys gonna keep staring at me? I know I just got twenty percent cooler, but I'm no different than before." They all look away, probably in shame for staring.

"Okay Miss Dash, just sign here, initial here, and date here, and you should be good to go."

"Thank you nurse Redheart. To be honest, I am still kinda in shock about this, so thanks for helping me out with all of this."

"It's no trouble Rainbow, I know how hard it is dealing with something life changing, and you have all of my support."

"Hey now, don't be getting all mushy on me, gotta keep my awesomeness quota you know?"

"Yes, I am aware of your 'awesomeness quota'."

I finish signing everything, and head out the door. The streets are empty, and I feel hungry…
I thought I couldn't get hungry anymore?

You can get hungry, but it only nourishes you in the sense that it provides energy and materials to be converted into fluids that lubricate and maintain your body. Like when you take a carriage to get its axles greased.

Well that was a little insulting, being compared to a carriage like that, I have to be at least sixty percent more radical than a carriage. But either way, I guess I'm going to Sugarcube.

I head into Sugarcube Corner, and only have a moment to register that the lights are turned off before suddenly being blinded.

"SURPRISE!"
Self-defense protocols engaging

My back panels open up and my pulse cannon starts pointing at the people.

"Hold it, new feature or something, let me just figure out how to turn this off"

System, disable weapon system protocols. Next time, don't let it activate when there is a surprise party.

My pulse cannon goes away, and as I turn back to look at the ponies, I see a wall of pink. "Ohmygosh Dashie, I was going to ask if you were surprised, but then I saw your self-defense protocols kicked in and you whipped out a mark-seven compact magi-ionic pulse cannon from your port-side weapon bay, and then I realized that it would only do that if you were super surprised like right now, well really about seven seconds ago but who's counting not me, but do you like your 'Congratulations on finding out you were secretly a robot this entire time' party?"

I stare dumbfounded for a moment, "...Yes Pinkie, I was surprised, and the party doesn't look so bad." I turn to the other ponies "sorry for scaring you like that, when I woke up, I got smacked with a lot of new stuff, and still don't have a handle over all of it yet…"

"Well anywho, I think you are really going to enjoy the party, I set up pin the tail on the pony, twister, karaoke, cake, pie, cookies, cupcakes, punch, the fun punch, gummy is in here somewhere, and a package of batteries in case you couldn't eat normal food."

"Thank you Pinkie… I think? Well, I'm gonna go mingle…"

Author's Note

OHMYGODUPDATE!!!

Yes, I finally updated this shit. You can all fangasm now.

Also, fuck Monday mornings.

And suck on that cliffhanger for a while, because I am feeling rather vengeful today.

Chapter Four - Mechanical Inquiry

Rainbooms of Thunder

Mechanical Inquiry

Initializing System Status Monitor %...

…Complete.

Compiling Data %...

…Complete.

ERROR: Hardware Integrity Compromised

Cranial Plating Integrity at 12%
Neck Servo System

-Motive Servo 1 Offline

-Motive Servo 2 Offline

-Motive Servo 3 Online

-Motive Servo 4 Online

Processing Core Running at 27% Capacity
Processor Cooling System Running at 23% Efficiency

-Primary Cooling Fan Offline

-Secondary Cooling Fan Online

-Liquid Cell Backup Online

Left Ocular Module Non-Responsive
Right Ocular Module Running
Ocular Parallax Comparator Non-Responsive
Ocular Systems in Legacy Mode

Left Auditory Module Offline
Right Auditory Module Online
Auditory Systems in Single-Source Mode

Initiating Standby Mode %...

…Failed.

Initiating Wakeup Sequence %...

…Failed.

Initiating Wakeup Sequence %...

…Completed.

Wah… What hit me…

Wait, was that Applejack?

"Ugh… How long was I out? And for that matter, where am I?"

"You're in my workshop silly! And you've been non-functioning for about three days."

"Pinkie?"

"Yuppers?"

"Why am I in your workshop? And what do you mean 'non-functioning'?"

"Oh, that's simple. Applejack bucked you in the head. It took a lot of work to get you back up and running again. I had to go buy a bunch of stuff to make new parts for you. Do you know how hard it is to get Mithril Steel Plates and Arcanium Alloy Wire? I had to turn my workshop upside-down to find my restricted materials access card, and then I had to pull a few favors from a tinker in Detrot for tools to work with the materials, then I had to run up to Canterlot to get ahold of the classified blueprints to your head from my handler. Whoops! I wasn't supposed to say all of that."

"Wait what?"

"Nothing, just singing about cupcakes!"

"..."

"..."

"..."

"Not buyin' it are you Dashie?"

"Pinkie… Are you a spy?!"

Sigh "Might as well come clean…"

"Is that a yes?"

"I work for the Canterlot Intelligence and Surveillance Unit as an engineer. I'm the one who designed your chassis and thought matrix. Essentially, I make all kinds of nifty stuff for Celestia and the Equestrian Intelligence Service. You're chassis is my best design yet, I just never thought I would become best friends with an android I helped create."

"Okay… Pinkie Pie is a spy for Celestia, who built me and a bunch of other things for other spies for Celestia… didn't see that coming."

"I bet you have all kinds of questions. I'll answer what I can when we get you all fixed up and meet with the others."

"Okay Pinkie."

Three hours later. Sitting around the table at Sugarcube Corner, Twilight, Applejack, and Rarity are waiting for Pinkie and Rainbow to come out.

With a slight smile, Rarity turns to Applejack, "So Applejack, do tell us why you thought it would be a good idea to buck Rainbow Dash in the head?"

"Rares, ah've been worried 'bout Rainbow since we learned she ain't a pony, an' when Ah heard ya'll screamin', Ah thought ya might be in trouble. If Ah hadn't rushed in like a durned fool, maybe RD would've been okay."

"I just want to know how Pinkie knows how to fix Rainbow. It's not like Rainbow is an oven that needs repaired, she's a fully sapient artificial being that can use a reasonable facsimile of pegasus magic. Where would a pony even go to learn how to fix something like that?"

"Now Twilight darling, this is Pinkie Pie you are talking about. Remember the 'Pinkie Sense' incident?"

"Right. Pinkie Pie, got it."

"Yeah, Ah thought ya were plum crazy that day, after all, ya can't explain Pinkie Pie."

Before any more could be said, the door to the back creaks open as Pinkie and Rainbow enter.

"Hay guys, guess who's fixed! And twenty percent cooler."

"Pinkie, that's my line. But these welds that look like scars are pretty cool."

"Rainbow darling, how could the first thing you say after being hurt so bad be so gauche?"

"You mean awesome right? It's a gift."

"That's not the term I would use dear."

"Ha, that's because you are an uptight prude."

"Why I never!"

"Okay guys, break it up. We don't need Rarity acting all dramatic again. Don't laugh Rainbow."

"But… Fine!"

"Now that that's done with, Applejack has something to say."

"Rainbow, Ahm sorry for flipping out on ya like that. Ah've been a little shook up ever since we found out that ya ain't a pony. Ah just heard the girls hollerin' and thought they were in trouble…"

"AJ, while I am a little steamed that you jumped in like that, I can't be mad at you. I can't say it hurt, because I don't remember what all happened exactly, but I'm okay now. But next time, try not to aim for the face."

"Ah'll do mah best not to forget that sugarcube. But onto that, how did Pinkie fix ya up so fast?"

"Oh, that's nothing…

Turns out she built me."

Author's Note

OHMYGOSH NEW CHAPTER!

Honestly, I haven't really had the drive to write for a while, between all the crap going on IRL, and lack of motivation...

Sorry about the wait.

Chapter Three - Prelude to Fear

Rainbooms of Thunder

Prelude to fear

The party ended about twenty minutes ago, and all who is left is Twilight, Pinkie, Rarity, Spike, and surprisingly, Fluttershy. Applejack didn't even show up to the party, but she probably had work to do on the farm or something… Rarity and I are in the back room searching for a tent and sleeping bags because Pinkie said we should have an slumber-after-party-party. I think it could be fun… assuming we all ignore the manticore in the room with me being an android-robot-thing… yeah, this won't end well.

Rarity turns to me, "So Rainbow darling, how are you feeling?" and so it starts.

"Ehh, at least I don't need to worry about being twenty percent cooler anymore."

"So that's it then, you are perfectly fine with waking up and realizing that you are a robot?"

Way to cut right to the core Rares, "Sure, lets go with that. I mean it's not like I am trying to bottle things up and ignore it right? hehe."

"Oh but don't be silly, it's okay to feel a little down every once in a while."

"Rarity, I'm gonna level; how would you feel if you found out that you were actually Blueblood's long lost sister or something, and just found out?"

"Well, I for one would be shocked to be related to such an ignoble buffoon. But I would stay calm, a lady should never lose her composure."

"Come on, you are the queen of fashion and drama, you would either be wallowing in pity or living it up with the Canterlot nobles."

"And what would you do if you were Blueblood's long lost sister?"

"Same thing I always did, keep training, and become a Wonderbolt…" wait a second, would the Wonderbolts even let a robot in as a flier? Has all that training and conditioning gone to waste?! Is there any chance of me even being able to-

"Rainbow! You started panicking there for a second. Whatever it is, your friends will help you through it, no matter what."

"Thanks Rares, I probably would be extra panicky if you weren't here to stop me."

"Anytime darling. Aha! There's the last sleeping bag, let's get back to the rest of the girls, and we'll talk more later."

"Gotcha Rares."

While Rarity and Rainbow Dash are in the back, Twilight, Pinkie, Spike, and Fluttershy are in the front preparing snacks.

Twilight asks out, "So Girls - and Spike - what do you think about Rainbow? How do you think she is handling this?"

"Well I think it is great that she discovered something so cool about herself, she is even cooler than the Wonderbolts now!" Pinkie interjects.

"Umm… girls? Would she even be allowed in the Wonderbolts?"

"That's a good question Fluttershy. There isn't really any rules against it, but at the same time, it could be seen poorly if she were to compete in any events because of what she is."

"Aww, but that would make Rainbow all saddy-waddy. How are we going to tell her she can't accomplish her dream anymore because of what she is and that she will probably end up spiraling into an unending depression over the fact that she can never accomplish her life's purpose? That is the exact opposite of what she needs to hear!"

"Well… we could try to break it to her gently…"

"Or we could just come out with it, you know, remove the bandage fast and all of that." Spike adds.

"SPIKE! That is the last thing Rainbow needs. We need to write a checklist."

"Come on! My idea would be the best. How do you think she would feel if-"

"Gotcha Rares."

"They're coming back! Everypony act busy."

The door opens and in comes Rarity and Rainbow. "Umm, guys, did we miss something?"

"Nope. Didn't miss anything here."

"Okaaaaaay, well, we got the sleeping bags."

About an hour later, in the Sweet Apple Acres orchard, Applejack is bucking away at her trees.

CRACK!

CRACK!

"C'mon sis, it's time ta hit the hay"

"Ah'm not tired Mac, got some thinkin' to do 'bout somethin'."

"It wouldn' hap'n to have somthin' ta do with yer friend Rainbow would it?"

"Am ah that easy fer ya to read big bro?"

"Eyup."

"It's jus'… well… Ah'm just not sure if ah can trust her anymore, if shes even a she, ya know?"

"Ah getcha, but even if she was a changelin' the entire time, wouldn't ya still feel bad 'bout ditchin' her like this?"

"Ah just couldn't do it Mac, Ah just need time to sort things out. It makes no sense, how could nopony see tha' she was a durn'd machine? She even had Twilight fooled."

"She also had herself fooled sis, ya think she would've kept quiet if she knew she were a fancy robot. Ah reckon she would have shouted it from the top o' the barn ta everypony who would listen."

"Ah reckon yer probably right Mac, she would'a been all check out how awesome ah am, with my fancy robot wings an' stuff, hahaha. yer right big brother, Ah should march on down ta Sugarcube Corner and catch her 'fore she goes flying off somewhere."

"…Eyup."

"That was a great story Pinkie, but now it's my turn! I got a great one that Gilda told me back when we were speedsters."

"Ages ago, back before the tribes united, there was once a unicorn wizard named Crimson Shade who played with dark powers. Ponies would tremble at a mere whisper of his name. Griffons would name warlords after him. The Minotaurs worshipped him as a god among mortals.

Legend tells that he once made a dark deal with Grogar the Terrible for the power to raise the dead, and he commanded entire legions of zombies to fulfil his nefarious purpose. At the peak of his power he commanded armies over the very lands of Equestria, dining on the meat of his victims. He was finally defeated when he tried to take the Canterhorn from the Pegasi legions, fell by his own hubris.

They say that every night, when the moon is full, you can hear the whispers of battle from miles around, and if you listen really closely… over the sound of clashing blades… you will hear… RAAAAAH!!!!"

"AAAAAHHH!!"

BANG!

"GIT AWAY FROM MAH FRIENDS YA DURNED MONSTER!"

THUNK!

"APPLEJACK! WHAT DID YOU DO!"

Author's Note

Well, chapter three.

Still not satisfied, but meh...