I Am Labyrinther!

by LabyrinthPony

Rating: everyone
Tags: Random, Adventure, Human, Comedy
Length: 4062

I have discovered the secret to traveling to Equestria...and I have unlimited potential for both Good and Evil. Come and read of my exploits!

Who am I?….Why, my little ponys! I am the Labyrinther. Sounds ominous doesn't it. And you thought Discords little maze was confusing.

Thats how I decide introduce myself when I'm first revealed to our main cast. In this adventure im going to send them on an epic adventure of some sort. Haven't quite decided. Confused, well to my fellow brony observers and writers alike. I have discovered a way into Equestria…sort of. This is not your typical self insert. In this story I will play the semi-omniscient and uber-powerful supreme "character." I haven't yet decided if I'll play the Antagonist or Protagonist. I will also play the role of guide and narrator. I WILL break the 4th wall often. I do love shattering the walls of reality. OK so not litteraly but you know what I mean.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2014-06-05 12:50:02 UTC

In the beginning!

I began writting. Thats it, story's over! Just kidding. No my dear reader welcome to MY universe. Welcome to MY little pony. Thats correct, as soon as you clicked on this story and began reading you fell into my sway of influence. I'm not saying that you can't escape, but read on at your own risk. Ahead there be pony's and adventure, a little chaos, and perhaps a bit of philosophical drivel. I get transcendental. I cant help it. So if you read the intro then you know that I am part of this story, but... at the same time I'm not part of this story. See what i mean, confusing metaphysical dynamics already. Plus its only going to get worse from here dear reader. At the risk of being obvious to the more clever bronys out there I'll explain, i'm the author writing a story about myself being the nearly al-powerful supreme being of my OWN version of my little pony. My self within the story understands what he is and his/my relationship to him/myself. Together He/I create, destroy, govern, or romp around in the world which I am continually creating as I input more chapters. If I look at it from his perspective its a little disconcerting actually. He isn't really tangible in the strictest sense. He is a shadowy reflection of me. That is to say I am in the story, somewhat disgruntled by my physical self, as he has the true influence over all I am and do. Whats more confusing is that my nearly al-powerful persona my be developing and independent personality. Drat, cant have that. The story hasn't even begun yet and im losing cohesion. Got to lay the foundations before we go on ya know.

This is my power and Its limit. You'l notice i never said i was omniscient or all powerful. I said nearly nearly al-powerful. My power is limited to my interest, attention span, and imagination. I'm often lacking in the first two but the third I have in abundance. Enough though, lets get the ball rolling and see what the girls are up to in Ponyville.

Lets see, Twilight is orchestrating some new art for her castle. (A. N. This lets u know that were picking up after season 4) lol I used an authors note. Pinky Pie is baking some cupcakes. She gets shaky hooves and the hair on her back tingles. That's her pinky sense alerting her of my presence. Its fun to watch. I find the Pinky sense is interesting as many will agree. Moving on to Rarity. She is sowing. Boring, i may overlook Rarity a bit, she's my least favorite of the mane six. Sorry Rarity lovers but its my world after all. Rainbow Dash is sleeping on a cloud. She is so adorable, i just cant wake her up. So I won't. Remember in the first episode when she soaked Twilight with that little cloud. Wasn't that adorable. Moving on again to Apple Jack. She's hard at work bucking her apples. AJ's a bit sweaty...Wait? Do ponys sweat? Nvm, moving along to the last, but not least. Fluttershy! Her and Twilly are my favorite's Oh and whats this, Discord is with her drinking tea. Now I'm going to freeze reality for a moment here and let you readers all in on something. I'm more powerful than Discord, unless i choose not to be. In the following chapters, I'm going to be picking on him a little. I'm going to start though by letting him think that he's eldrich'y and powerful enough to be a match for me. WE know that's a sham of course, but Discord doesn't. Sides after that stunt he pulled in season 4 he deserves a little humility. I'm still not buying that he just let Tirek suck the powers out of him, he seemed more devious than that. Hasbro's gotta be tricking us! Any way, that's not really why I'm picking on him. He's one of the most powerful characters in MLP and i just want to bully the bully. So now that we've seen what the cast is up to, lets give Discord a poke on the shoulder.

I may change perspectives a bit for the sake of intrigue. I can do that you know. Italicised sentence indicates thought btw

(Discord)

Ah my sweet Fluttershy. How did you tame this choclate rain loving master of chaos. Maybe it was your warm smile, your soft feathers wrapping around me without malice. So kind. So very kind. In all my millennia of cacophony no one has ever been so...wait whats that feeling. Strange magic. Powerful. Tastes kinda like banana and a weak old sock that's been boiled in raw magic. That doesn't make sense even to me. I like it. Blast it where's it coming from. It's close. Too close with Fluttershy around. OK hansom act cool, can't be any worse than our last fiasco. That magic's getting really close. Really..

--Poke Poke Poke--

I turn around, the entity in front of me reeks of the same ancient power that I sensed. Time is frozen. I turn around and give a curios glance at Fluttershy who is frozen in place mid sip. I turn back. Before me is a mask like out of those lame performances the ponies put on..only this one doesn't have a frozen expression. The look that it is giving me is creepy. A little too confident for anybody looking at the lord of chaos himself. And its a little unnerving. "OH, and just what are you?" i say with my best bravado and a forced disinterestedly coy smile face. I use that one on the princesses all the time! Always works to great effect. This time though i'm a little less sure.

"Ah the master of Chaos himself. Forgive me for being so impertinent with my whole time stopping stunt. I do hate interruptions, and you know how pressed for time we eldritch beings are," said the disembodied mask. "I quite agree, but who pray tell are you?" I ask  again to the voice as confidentially as I knew how. "Ooh an introduction, well here it is. This is perhaps a little silly sounding but I call my self the Labyrinther. Please ask why." The voice said in that all too casual and slightly enthusiastic fashion i usually reserve for members of pony kind. This troubled me. I stared for a moment at the mask considering. I was never very good at considering so it didn't take very long. "Ok why?" I asked coolly, paw and claw folded at my side. The face crinkled its noise and raised its eyebrow in thoughtful expression. "We've decided not to tell you yet, but don't worry you'l find out soon enough. I really just came to meat you." "Meet me?" I said smugly, "Why would you want to meet little oll..." Before I could finish the sentence I was covered from the antlers down in every kind of sausage, steak cut, and poultry piece that I could think of. And wouldn't you know it, time was working again. There I was at Fluttershy's tea party covered in disgusting, revolting, salty, nutritious, (and disturbing for a pony) meat imaginable. Luckily I had conditioned Fluttershy to this sort of thing and she just watched patiently. "Um Discord...why are you covered in (gulp) sausage links?" She said, and honestly i couldn't blame her for the question. Gore wasn't usually my style." "I'd actually rather not talk about it if you don't mind." I said as I snapped my fingers and proofed the fowl poultry and assorted Deli items out of existence. Imagine me, the Lord of Chaos, pranked with meat of all things. I should be mad, but, that was a total knee slapper. I wonder if I should tell the Princess's about this. Hmm, Naaa!

(Labyrinther)

Well in all fairness it wouldn't do him any good anyway. A prank is good for now, and I was even a good sport and let him feel good about it. Hec now that I think about it a prank was probably the best way to introduce yourself to the Lord of Chaos. Ya, that'l do Discord, that'l do. Ya know though that whole introduction to Discord inspired me. I chose to present myself as a mask because I felt it said the least about my character without saying absolutely nothing. A flexible mask that's more of a face, vs a stoic and emotionless mask seemed to reflect my enigmatic fickleness quite well. What can I say, im a bit discordent myself you know. Just a mask though. Hmm, a bit weak sauce. This is where an epic turn in the road comes in for me the author. Just how active a role do I want to play in the life of my little pony's. I think eventually I'll physically manifest myself to them but I think that can wait a few chapters. Also I've just decided. For now, Discord will be are protagonist. To the pony's I will be just a disembodied voice for now. To Discord though, I'm just a moody face. Ya I like that. Discord were gonna have so much fun..well at least I am.

Now I have another philosophical dilemma for my readers. How do you create a conflict, but do it in a way that is innately heroic. This is the old debate about means and ends. Well here is the more specific dilemma. I have to generate some kind of conflict as the author to keep this world alive. It's quite critical to the health of any story universe you know. Normally that isn't a problem since the author is outside of the story. In this case though, well...I'm very much apart of my own story so I'm not quite sure what to do. See I've been a long believer in the saying, "you become what you practice," and even though I'm just writing about the conflict I would in a sense also be complicit. I feel like I have a moral responsibility to find some way to generate a conflict that isn't my fault. Oh blast it! Whatever I think of would innately be my idea and ergo, my fault, my responsibility. Still, I have to stir things up some how.It's for or the greater good of Equestria! Ooh i just had a thought. Free will! That's how ill do it, Ill blame it on some other guy. Do my characters even have free will. Well no not really. Then again we do so....I'll just have to make bad decisions for them.

Ok so we need a villain...let me see. Oh yes.

On a cold night, on a rocky barren hill top in Eagleland sat a gaunt Griffon sorcerer. Scattered all about him were remains of pony's, griffon's, diamond dog's, and a few that were unidentifiable. On a pedestal sat an enchanted obsidian orb that he stroked coolly with his claw. The object was dark magic, the blackest of black. He concentrates. The sorcerer senses something. Its...a mask! A strange one. It radiates great power. Greater than any object he has found to date. Greater even than that blasted crystal heart up North. Greater than the gates of Tartarus. He must have it. He WOULD have it. So he gathered up his few arcane possessions and a bag of bits and headed north...straight to Equestria and Ponyville forthwith. Well as you probably guessed he found me, and he WILL have it in later chapters if you know what Im getting at. For now though I need a rest. Universes take a lot of thought power to create and my physical self need's a rest. I'll pick up in the next chapter.

Foundations of the Maze

We are refreshed. We have rested, and my physical self has been invigorated by a delectable glass Starbucks hot chocolate and I have had a cup of rainbow's and a zap apple. I needed something peppery. From here were going to follow Discord a bit. I bet he's  awful curious about his strange visitor. I'm sure he prides himself on his extensive knowledge of Equestria. Besides, what with him being the practical joker and all I'm sure he couldn't resist the bait of getting the last laugh on who'ever it was who pelted him with meat stuffs. Its in his nature.

(Discord)

"Labyrinther ha, a strange one that. So he thinks he can prank the lord of chaos and get away with it. Well two can play at that game. Ah haha this is going to be so much fun. I rub my hands together and, with a grin, take off. "I think I've finally found a playmate that understands me! Now to make him miserable." I say to my self deviously. I take off, searching for the strange source of magic. I start with Ponyville of course. Any thing interesting always happens in Ponyville. I search high and low, turning over pony's, searching under bridges. I rummage through Twilight's new castle. It is rather lacking in secret passage ways. Still a rather new castle after all. Why I remember when Celestia created that barn she calls a palace. It started out as little more than a tower keep and a court room. She added on a bit since then, and it will no doubt be the same for Twibright Speckle or whatever her name is. History repeats iteself. I should know I've been there for most of it. These poor pony's, they'd surely have fallen to entropy long ago if it wasn't for me. Turn me to stone indeed. Celestia should have saw things my way. Things could have been so different. Bleh im getting sentimental in my young age. And what's this..

Looking out the window of Twilight's castle I oversee the Everfree Forest. There's something strange going on out there. It's the magic. It's twisting and coiling around. Its even more chaotic than it was when the tree ran out of harmony juice. Good times, good times. Still, I being tasked as a protector of Equestria should investigate. Also it could be fun to watch. I fly out there to see what the cause is. All the creatures of the Everfree seem to be fleeing from the...whatever it is. I approach and low and behold what do I sense but none other than that strange banana musk magic from earlier that day. What do I see as I aproach, why none other that that strange floating face. What is it doing even. Certainly nothing directly destructive, but certainly suspicious. I cushion my magic so that he can't sense it, and I shrink down to my minuscule form. I get closer and closer till I'm right behind him. Then I shoot up to my normal size. I grab him, and I turn him around to face me. There's a startled expression on its face. Oooh this is to good. I just love being intimidating.

(Labyrinther)

Well if you've been following me this adventure you know that I'm not the least bit surprised by him. For his sake though I'm acting the part. As for what I was doing with the magic, well that was actually four fold. First I was adding to the word count. Secondly I was drawing Discord's attention. Thirdly I was beginning the setup for my little equestrian campaign. Fourthly I was playing with the magic. It's a lot of fun and gooey like silly puddy. Now though I suppose ill give the spotlight back to Discord. This really is his chapter after all.

(Discord)

"Oh my what do we have here." I said in my most villain-esq voice. "Oh, hehe hello Discord. I was just enjoying this beautiful Everfree weather. The cloud formations in this forest are some of the most unique on Equis you know." The little mask said, cowering slightly. "That's all well and good, but you still haven't answered my question. You told me who but not what you are. That rather distresses me and I get al fidgety when I'm distressed. No fun for anybody you see. I haven't forgotten your little prank either. I don't know what game your getting at, but I'll find out. I'm quite good at games you know." I said with my usually gusto and confidence. "No doubt, Oh wise and powerful master of chaos. Alright, since you seem to have me at a disadvantage I'll give you an answer to your first question. I am object of immense power." I raise my eyebrow quizzically. "That's right you heard me. An honest to true powerful magical artifact. Good for you too, your my owner now too since your the one holding me." said the mask with renewed confidence. "Interesting." I replied to it. "That however raises a couple of more questions. Where did you come from and, more importantly, what do you do." "Where do I come from? Well I'm glad you asked. Actually, you summoned me. Ah fiddle dee dee," It giggled bemusedly. "Well it was all that magic you poured into Celestia's little hedge garden that did it. You opened a rift and out I popped. Thanks Dad!" "What, that?!" That did it? I wasn't even trying to summon anything at the time. It's a completely different magic conjugation for purposeful summoning. How could you have come from that?" "Dad, don't you think I'm a little old for the birds and the bee'z talk. I'm more mature than I look you know." The mask rudely retorted. "Well, I'm not saying I completely believe you but I'll move it into the plausible range. Some where between Celestia giving up cake, and the Everfree Forest turning to swiss cheese. Now then, what do you do?" I asked. "Well, I bet your going to like this one. Twists and turns are what I do. Summon me and get lost anew! I create mazes, labyrinth's, mesmorize, disorientate, and confuse anyone and anything my holder wishes. Im brilliant! Its true." The mask said. I pondered for a second. "Well..?" It said with Impatience. Aren't you going to test me out?" "Ooh yes, that does sound like a good Idea. Lets see. What shall I use you on. Rarity recently remodeled Ponyville. Hmm...Redecorating the town would probably arise the the ire of our resident princess. Her castle however....

(Labyrinther)

OK so I'ma say this right now. What I told discord was a total fib. I seem to be an object of immense power because that's the way I represented myself. Beings of Discord and Celestia's power have a certain sense about these things. They can detect the flow of an object. All objects in Equestria have magic to some extent ya see. It's what there, or shall I say my, universe is based on. That's what I appear to be for now. The really odd thing that Discord failed to point out, but not failed to notice, was that I'm not acting like a magical object. Also It may seem a little out of character for Discord to suddenly take the word of a being of immense power for granted. He knows that, he's not stupid. What he's doing is familiarizing himself with me in the only avenue that I've given him to explore. He figures that if he sticks around me he's going to figure out the extent of my power and intent. Right now though he's thinks hes accomplishing all those things efficiently by doing what he loves to do, creating chaos! He figures he has a good excuse this time so why not. Of course he's totally wrong about all this, but I'd say he's tackling the problem exactly as he should. Good for you ya crazy guy!

(Discord)

"Oh what fun, Twilight will be so PLEASED to see the modifications I've made to her castle." I said. "She really did need a few good secret passages and traps doors and what not. I wonder how long it will take her to discover all these new passageways." Of course I could have done this without this silly mask creature. What exactly is up with this thing "I for one couldn't agree more. I'd say you've really out done yourself Discord. Where to next?" Said the mask with enthusiam. "Oh I hadn't really given it much thought. I'm actually getting a little bored of these little mazes. --Yawn-- What else can you do Labby. I can call you Labby right?" I asked. "Oh lots and lots. Confusion, illusion, dyslexia, you name it. If you have a synonym for scrambled I'm your floating mask." It said. "Really, do you have any suggestions then?" "No." Said the mask simply, smiling. "Well, I've got an idea." I say smirking right back. "How bout we play mask on the moon." I said "Ooh how do u play?" The mask asked, naively. "Well.." I reply. "We play on the moon of course." With that I snapped my fingers and transported us both to the dark side of the moon. Here would be the real test of this things magical potential. "What I want you to do is make the whole dark side of the moon one big complicated maze. Can ya do it?" I know sooner ask the question than the lunar surface begins shaking. All around me I see massive wall's raising up from the ground like great monoliths coming to life. It's incredible even by my standards. "Done." Said the Mask. "Ya know Discord, we've played one of your games so now lets play one of mine. Only fair right?" Said the mask in a falsely innocent way. "Oh, what game is that?" I asked, using all my bravado. "Escape. It's a personal favorite of mine. I'll accompany you of course but don't think I'll give you any advice. Actually ask a way, but I can't guaranty it will help you any. Even I don't know every thing in this maze. I'snt it great!" It said enthusiastically. I shuddered slightly. Discord old pal, what have you gotten yourself into.

(Labyrinther)

Ok so now I've set up Discords stage. I thought the maze entrapment bit was a nice touch. Luckily for you all I can be in many places at once. So while Discord and I are up there, I'm also down in Ponyville watching the girls and narrating for my lucky audience. Isn't this turning out to be a swell adventure. I thought so anyway, so buck all you haters out there. It's my world fillies and gentle colts. Discord was right when he said everything interesting happens in Ponyville too. I'm down here for a reason ya know. As I waste time speaking are villain is approaching Ponyville. I want to say something about cartoon villainy before I continue too. (OH NO, he's activating his philosophy cannon!) Cartoon villainy and real world villainy are not quite the same thing. In a cartoon, villainy is usually more of a heightened sense of narcissism. I'm too beautiful, too powerful, I deserve more! While this is one of the faces of evil, this is only one band of a very full spectrum. It's based, like all evil, on a lie. In the case of cartoon evil the lie is that the  antagonist is better than the rest of the world. He is more deserving, and therefore justified in doing whatever it is he wants to do. Tirek, Nightmare Moon, Chrysalis, and Discord were all good examples of this type of evil. However, my villain is no narcissist. No, he'll have his own special brand of evil. Keep reading and you'l see what I mean.

A loan Griffon wizard fly's over the green hill's. The weather improves as he gets closer to his destination. The borders of Equestria are not far off. Even here on the borders of Eagleland the pony's sway of influence over the weather is felt. This does not bother him. It fill's him with neither with joy or dread. It is, like so many things, just a fact. His cold and calculating, mind registers it and logs it away. He feels the magic. Right now it is all that compels him. Perhaps this artifact will be the last he needs to complete his goal. He is so close now..so very close.