Dark Blue: Color me Lonely

RARITY DITCHED ME, AGAIN! WE'RE SUPPOSE TO BE BEST FRIENDS BUT SHE NEVER WANTS TO HANG out anymore. Ever since she made the cheerleading team they've become her world.

It's always "Hey wanna hang out?"

"So sorry Fluttershy I have cheer practice."

"Hey, wanna chill at my place?"

"Sorry Fluttershy I promised the girls I'd hang out."

"Hey, wanna go to Twilight's party after school?"

"Sorry I promised Pinkie Pie I'd go with her darling."

I don't even like parties, I go because she likes them. It's like all she cares about is cheer leading and being with the in crowd. When we do get a chance to hang out or talk on the phone she's always talking about cheerleading. I hate it! I just wish that all those cheerleaders would kick her out. I'm sorry I know that was mean and I'd never really want that to happen. I know how much this means to Rarity and how hard she worked to get where she is. It's just that it's really embarrassing and sad when she ditches me for them. I eat lunch alone because Rarity sits with the cheerleaders and I walk home alone because Rarity says her car is full. I just hate being alone, and Rarity was my only friend. I'm very shy and don't talk to anyone so it's hard making friends. If only there was a way to get my best friend back, I'd be so happy I'd cry. But there's no such thing, I've lost my best friend forever.

It doesn't help that my home life is getting pretty messed up too. My parents have been talking about getting divorced for a while now but, today we finally moved out of my dads house and into our own little apartment. When my parents decided on a divorce my mom was broke and we had nowhere to go. So we were forced to stay in my dads house until we could find another place. My mom was always a stay at home kinda person so she had to find a job she loved-or hated-to support us. My older sister Rain Drops also had to take up an extra job so we could buy it. At the time I was only fifteen and no one would hire me. But Rarity was always there to get me throw it. She even let us stay at her house for a while when my dad kick us out. Eventually he felt bad and let us back in but, the transition from his house to our apartment went awful.

We were packing up what little things we left out and putting them into the car-my mom owns a pickup truck and my dad refused to let us use his minivan-. Then my dad grabbed me and Rain Drops by the arm and refused to let us leave. He even threatened to hurt us and then call child services and tell them my mom did it. I actually say Rain Drops cry and she's so tough, I thought she never cries. I reached for my cell phone-which was hard to do with tears in my eyes making my vision blurry-to call Rarity. -Who didn't help us move because she was "busy".- But then the call went straight to voicemail! I couldn't believe it, the one time I needed her most she ditches me. I was more angry than sad and ended up kick my dad in the grind forcing him to let us go. We ran for our lives into the truck and drove straight to the police station. We told them how dad threatened to hurt us and they put him in jail until he can make bail-which he could-. So after we got the rest of our stuff my mom arranged to get a restraining order on him and maybe even a lawsuit.

So now in a week or two we're going to court to testify against my dad in order to get a law suit. Plus we're only three clients away from getting our restraining order. And my mom is meeting with the divorce lawyers next week. The worst part of this is that it's Rarity's fault. If she had helped us moved my dad probably wouldn't have made a seen or, if she had picked up her phone we would had been out of there quicker. Now I'm going through this alone because I refuse to talk to that life ruiner. I'll avoid her when I can and ignore her when she calls. If she calls my house and someone else picks up I'll hang up. If she talks to me I'll yell at her and tell her exactly what she did to deserve this.

On the further downside my mom made us have a confession meeting last night in our apartment. She said that now we know how dad really is we should all share our secrets so we know who we really are. Rain Drops went first, she said that she’s failing collage.

“The classes are boring the work is hard and I've been really stressed out.” She said as I looked for the microwave in one of the boxes so we could have a veggie dinner. It’s kinda like a TV dinner but for vegetarians. The three of us are all vegetarians but my dad wasn't. That’s one of the things him and my mom fought about. “I've been so stressed out that I said forget about it and I started going to all of the parties and stuff. I would drink so much that I’d skip classes the next day and sleep because of my wild hangovers. Eventually I dropped out and came home saying I hated the dorms.”

I thought my mom would freak but, she was actually calm-like she had something to hide-. “Where did you go during the day after you came home?”

“I would hang out with the other drop outs and smoke weed and drink and do crazy things. Then the divorce talk popped up and I though my only true happiness was going to end. So I quit smoking and I slowed down my drinking and I went to church.” Oh gosh did she just say she went to church. We never go to church my families-if you can call it that any more-is not religious. I don’t think I even believe in Celestia.

“I talked to Celestia everyday and ever night in order to get my life on track. I eventually quit drinking all together and I felt great. Then today happened and I thought I was gonna die. I wonder why would Celestia do this to me after I had changed. I thought maybe It was because I never told you guys that I had dropped out.” My mom put a hand on Rain Drops now crying face.

“I’m proud of you for getting your life together but, I’m very disappointed that you drop out of college.” Now my mother started crying. “And I’m sorry for not noticing that something was wrong. I’m your mother I’m supposed to know these kind of things. But I’d been too wrapped in the divorce and my own life to even care about you two.” She wiped her tears away. “I have a confession too. Late at night and sometimes during the day I would go to the bar and find random guys to have sex with. But I’m old and have two kids so it never happened. But there was this one guy who I wasn't interested in that came up to me. He said ‘I hear you’re looking for a good time.’ And then her taped my mouth and grabbed my by the arm and pulled me out throw the back door. No one noticed because everyone was drunk and the place was crowded. So he took me out to the alleyway and he rapped me.

“I've never felt so dirty and I had it coming. I was looking for it and it happened. Two days later I went to the doctor and thankfully I hadn't caught any STDs. But Celestia wasn't so lucky with me as she was with you. I found out that I’m pregnant with another girl.” She cried and Rain Drops cried but I was furious with both of them.

“You guys call us a family when you can’t even tell us anything.”

My mom came over and hugged me. “Baby I’m sorry but I’ll try harder to be a better mother to all of us. From now on we’ll go to church and learn the ways of Celestia to help us through this.”

“And you think that’ll make it better? How can I ever trust anyone when my own father is crazy, my best friend is a life ruiner, my sister’s a liar, and my mother is a whore? Who knows how that baby will turn out.” I stormed off to a room the will soon be mine. I could hear my mother and sister crying.

I refuse to trust anyone or anything else. I'll live for myself and leave others behind. I'll always stay on the safe side or life to avoid getting hurt. I'll be little miss goody-two-shoes Fluttershy scaredy pants if it'll keep me safe. No longer will I put up with a broken heart, this is my life and I refuse to live it in sadness. Little did I know that my decision causes those dark blue days to be the death of me.