Dumb Luck

by Wild_Heart

Rating: teen
Tags: Romance, Princess Luna, Original Character, Comedy, Gilda, Princess Celestia, Main 6, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 44392

Rainbow Dash makes the worst mistake of her life

This is a collection of short stories, all shipping, and all with some element of luck involved in the pairings. All the stories take place in the same continuity, and all pairings are final! No cheating in these fics, sorry.

When Rainbow Dash kissed her, she had no idea what she was doing. She was running on automatic. Will the pony of her dreams hate her? She really is the Stupidest Pony In Equestria.

Based on image by GonzaHerMeg.

Published 2011-10-29 15:40:15 UTC
Last updated 2013-01-03 21:50:51 UTC

The Stupidest Pony In Equestria

I think I might be the stupidest foal in Equestria. See, I made a huge mistake four days ago. That was the day I was helping Applejack demolish the old barn at Sweet Apple Acres to make way for the new one that was finally being built. It'd gone pretty awesome at first. Getting paid to break things and practice at the same time? Totally worth it. But then, the pony of my dreams showed up.

Okay, so maybe not my perfect match. Personally, I thought I'd wind up with somepony like Spitfire. If I could ever be in the same league. But Twilight is hot as hay, and so... So... Adorkable. Yea, that's a great word for it. Getting so excited over the most boring things. It's so annoying when she goes off on one of her rants about something I couldn't give two shakes about, but I can bear it. After all, that's when she's at her most adorable. ... And maybe a little hot.

Whoa, where are my thoughts going? Hold on there, I'm getting off the point (and starting to drool a little). So just to make it clear, I didn't mind her showing up, even if she was acting weird-er than normal.

"Rainbow Dash! STOP!" I felt myself screeching to a stop because something was holding my tail back. That was bad enough. I try to keep it a secret, especially because of how much AJ seems to like messing with me, but my tail is sensitive. And tugging it is kinda a huge turn on for me. So, Yea. Bad start there. Dangling from a magically suspended tail didn't help. At all. I looked at Twilight out of the corner of my eyes, praying to Celestia that she couldn't see my expression. "Listen Rainbow, I know you're upset with Applejack," Wait what? "But don't worry, whatever it is that has come between you two," WE'RE JUST FRIENDS GEEZ WHY DOES EVERYBODY ASSUME oh wait she doesn't mean it like that. "I'm sure that I, as a good friend, can solve your problems!" Sure, how about solving the problem of putting me do-Ow. Okay, problem solved.

"Uh, what are you talking about?" I sat up, rubbing the back of my head with a hoof, thoroughly confused. That was good though, I almost forgot about how awesome that tail tugging felt. Almost. And that's what caused me to act stupid. That, and the next statement.

"Oh Rainbow Dash!" She giggled as she pulled me in closer with a leg around my neck. She then gave me the most caring look I think she ever has given me. My heart stopped for a sec there. "You don't have to hide your feelings from me!" Her hooves moved to my chin, holding it up to look her in the eyes.

My heart was back to its thing again, but if this was a race, it would have given me a run for my money. I was confused as hay, horny as a colt after looking through of Velvet's catalogs (No I never read those!... Much...), and now totally unsure if I was supposed to say or do something. So that's probably why I did something so dumb. "Well, if you say so..." Then I kissed her.

Yea. I know. I'm an idiot. She must have thought I was crazy. I kissed her. I had my eyes closed, so I didn't see what her expression was like at first. I didn't slip her tongue! I Swear! ... Well, maybe a little, but it was just touching her lips, not going in! When I pulled back from this kiss, I opened my eyes, blushing fiercely. I noticed the expression on her face then. Surprised, confused... "What? Why are you looking at me like that?!" ... Disturbed. That's what that expression was. "I-I thought you said..." Her brain obviously wasn't working for a few minutes. I felt terrified all of a sudden. "What the buck, Dash!" My mind screamed. "What's WRONG WITH YOU?!" "Hey, uh...I was... Uh... Oh geez I'm sorry Twi I didn't-"

Some lame excuse about needing to write a letter later, she was gone. I stared after her, horrified. How was I gonna come back from that? I blew my chance! Totally blown! If this was a TORNADO it wouldn't have blown that much! And why was I so scared? Sure, I was attracted to her, and this was completely humiliating, but we were still friends! Nothing changed! Why did I feel like my world was over? I felt a hoof on my shoulder, but I didn't turn around. "Sugarcube? Ah saw wha' happened. Ya wanna talk 'bout it? Ah know ya really loved Twi'..."

I whipped around, giving her an incredulous look, with a brow raised. "Wh-What?! AJ, are you crazy? I just... I..." My mouth went totally dry. That was it. That was why. I loved her. Rainbow Dash loved Twilight Sparkle, and I would never have a chance now. I lost my cool and I lost her. "... I... I gotta go!"

"Dash, don'tcha go an' do somethin' yer gonna-" I didn't hear the rest of it. I took off for my house. I flew inside without looking. I slammed the door. Leaned on it. Eyes closed. Alone.

That was four days ago. I haven't touched ground in Ponyville since. I spent all my time working the weather, then just sitting on the edge of my cloud, staring out at the horizon. Just sitting there, telling myself how STUPID I am. And right now, I'm doing the same thing. Replaying that scene in my mind, over and over. It's the only thing I can think about. I want to cry, but I don't have anymore tears. Rubbing my eyes, I roll over, onto my back, all four legs splayed out. My eyes closed. "Such an idiot..."

"Awww! Don't say that, Dashie! You're just a little slow on the uptake sometimes! You're not an idiot!" Oh great. Just what I need. I open my eyes, and see Pinkie floating there via a metric buckton of balloons. They block out the light from the sun, and what light they don't block is turned into a sea of colors. Rolling over to my stomach, I just grunt. "Don't be a Grumpy McGrumperson! I came up to tell you something!"

"Go away, Pinkie. I don't wanna talk to anypony right now."

"Nope! I'm not going away until I deliver the message that I forgot and trying to remember so I can deliver it!" She puts a hoof to her chin, thinking with such a serious expression on her face that I would laugh, if I ever felt like laughing again.

"Seriously, Pinkie, just-"

"Oh! That's right!" She clops her forehooves together. "Twilight wanted me to tell you to go see her at the library!"

Something inside me just freezes. Okay, EVERYTHING inside me freezes. I don't think I'm breathing, I don't think my heart is beating. My blood runs cold. I don't even think I'm thinking right now, honestly. I look up at Pinkie slowly, my eyes wide, pupils contracted, and legs so weak I can't stand. "Twi... Twilight wants to see me? Why?" Possibilities surge through my head. She wants to see me? Oh buck, she's probably just gonna cancel our friendship. She probably told everypony what I did! Pinkie doesn't look mad, and Applejack saw the whole thing and she wasn't... But Twilight is. She has to be. "She... She hates me, doesn't she?"

"Whaaaat? Why would she hate you! I can't tell you why she wants to see you though cuz she wouldn't tell me even though I really really wanna know but she made me promise not to ask anymore after I asked the 43rd time in a row so I can't tell you cuz I don't know either!" My mind processes what she says with surprising speed. I've known Pinkie for a long time, so it's not like I'm not used to how she talks. But when my brain is done with it, I just shake my head, closing my eyes.

"I can't. I just... I can't go to the library. I can't face her. I don't even think I can FLY right now..."

"Then it's a good thing we're already there, right Dashie?" Why does the cloud feel so warm and firm right-Oh horseapples. My eyes shoot open, and yup, there we are. In front of Twilight's library.

"Wha-How-I don't-" My brain gives up halfway through that. Even as slow as I feel right now, I know better than to question this. I really, really know better. I wouldn't like the answer. "I can't do this. I can't, Pinkie."

"Sure ya can! The door's right there! Just stand up, go knock, and go in! Or better yet, don't knock! It'll be a surprise! Even though she's expecting you to be here you can still surprise her by not knocking!" Pinkie logic. Despite myself, I have to smile. That smile gives my legs the strength they need for me to stand up. I take a deep breath, I steel myself. I can't possibly pretend to be my normal confident self right now, but I CAN open that door. I CAN step inside. Even if I can't say anything to Twi, even if I lose my nerve, she'll do the talking anyway.

I step up to the door, hoping this isn't what I think it is. That by the end of today, we'll still be friends. That we'll talk it out, and I'll feel better, and everything is back to normal. That's all I hope for. All I want. I don't even care if I love you anymore, Twilight, just don't tell me you hate me.

I open the door. The library smells of dust. It smells of old books. It smells of wood. It smells of that lavender shampoo she always uses that I tease her about. It looks messy, books all over. It looks old. It looks familiar. The sun streams through the large windows freely. One of those rays lights up on a unicorn. I've never been this poetic. Why now? Maybe it's because I feel so emotional right now. Maybe it's because this is the most beautiful pony I've ever seen.

She looks at me. She smiles. That smile is nothing like anything she's ever given me before. It seems almost motherly. Like she understands my problems, like she knows me. I feel my worry fly away. My regret melt. I feel like I'm ready for anything.

I'm especially ready for her.

"Rainbow, I'm glad you came. We've all been worried about you moping around. Come over here, I need to talk to you, okay?" I'm on automatic right now. I walk over. I sit beside her. Just on the floor, where she is. The wood is warm from the sunlight. Patterns run over Twilight's coat and mane, waves of light made by the leaves blowing in the wind. I'm in awe. I can't think of anything else. I can't talk. Not because I'm scared anymore, but because... No matter how many times before that I've seen this... It means something so different now. It's not the same.

But that's a good thing. She's so beautiful, and I think I'm finally realizing how beautiful she is, right here, right now.

She continues talking when she realizes I'm speechless. I must look so stupid right now; staring at her the way I am, but she doesn't seem to mind. "Dash, I wrote a letter to the Princess, asking for advice." She clears her throat a bit. Now she seems nervous. I find my voice.

"Twi, it's okay. I know you don't feel the same way. I just... I'm just happy enough knowing you don't want me to leave forever or something." She smiles again. A bit of a sad smile. I preferred the nervous one, myself. I think I was hoping she would say differently, that she'd reassure me. Kiss me, maybe. Tell me she loves me too, that she always loved me. I'm so stupid.

"Dash, please let me finish, okay? This is really important." I lower my head, and look to the side, to the floor.

"Sorry, Twilight."

"It's okay. Now, she told me that she couldn't tell me what to do, offer any advice. This is something I had to do on my own. So... For the past few days, I've been thinking as hard as I can. Thinking about how I feel, what to say. How to say it." She never stops looking right at my face. I blush a little. I can feel her looking at me even though my eyes are studying the grain and rings of the floor. "I wanted to comfort you, tell you everything would be alright. All of us did. But... I had to figure this out first. I had to know how I feel. Where I stand." I gulp. I promised myself I wouldn't care about whether or not she loved me like that. I promised. But I break that promise right now, with every question running through my head. I want to stop, I want to leave, I don't want to hear this. But I can't move. I can't stop listening.

"Tw-Twilight..." I know what comes next. Why does she have to say it out loud? Can't she just leave that last piece of finality out? Can't she give me the hope?

"Dash, I don't. I don't feel the same way about you, no." She speaks in careful, measured tones. She's trying very hard not to upset me. She's failing. "But. And this is the important part. But I... I'm willing to give it a chance." If my heart stops beating again today, I don't think it'll ever restart. My eyes snap back up, my expression one of shock. I dare to cling to that hope. To let it grow in me. My mind screams at me, telling me how stupid I am, that I'm not good enough for Twilight. I won't listen to that voice, though. Not now. Not anymore. "Rarity told me that no matter what she likes to believe, love almost never happens at first sight. It's a gradual thing. It happens slowly, over time. And I think... I really do think you have a chance of earning my love." I dare to smile. Tears come to my eyes, but they're not there because I'm sad. They're there because I'm the luckiest mare to ever live. "We don't have a lot in common, I admit. We're very different. But the books said that opposites usually attract. And they don't steer me wrong often."

I open my mouth to speak. I shudder, and close my eyes. Those tears are flowing now. Free, Fierce, For her. Words don't come. She holds out a hoof to me.

"What do you say, Rainbow Dash? Will you let me try?"

I'm so stupid. I'm so weak. I feel like I'm dreaming.

I'm Rainbow Dash, and I am the stupidest, luckiest pony in Equestria.

Writing is Expression -The Worst Idea Ever

Some book I write to like it can actually read itself, this is stupid, November 2

Okay, uh...So apparently, I should be keeping a 'diary'...Buck that, that sounds lame. A 'journal' of what I think.

So, the first entry is supposed to be what I think about all these horseapples. Long story short, I'm trying to figure out how I'm going to be more...Personable, she calls it. I already know what my problem is. I'm a jerk because I think pretty much everyone but me is a total lame-o. Scratch that, everyone but me IS a total lame-o.

Some of the ponies from Flight School were kinda cool, I guess. Dash was, until she picked these dorks over me. But you can't stay in Flight School forever, and so here I am, talking to a princess wannabe about how to act 'right'. And writing in a book like it can read itself.

While she was here in Ponyville, Gilda didn't have a house. Instead, she stayed in the Everfree forest. Partly because that was the only way to avoid Pinkie Pie, who she didn't feel like talking to, and partly because that was the only way to avoid Rainbow Dash, who she didn't feel like talking to or looking at. Right now, the Gryphon was propped against a tree, sitting on a particularly thick branch, and scribbling in a book with the most bored expression any living creature could possibly make. The quill stopped and she stared at the paper which had barely had a quarter filled. She had no idea she could write that small, she never noticed when doing exams in the academy. A brief thought came to her: That this seemed lazy and sloppy, and that she should write more. Gilda closed the journal and put it in a hole she'd carved from the tree before any more crazy thoughts like that could manifest. "Okay, recap. Why am I doing this? Why do I even care what any pony thinks about me?"

The first thing that came to mind was employment. After getting out of the academy, the gryphon had tried to get a job. She'd gotten close a few times, but the only gigs she could land were lousy menial labor work. Terrible pay, terrible conditions, bosses that were bigger jerks than her. But any other job wouldn't take her because of how she acted. Gilda would admit her work ethic wasn't very strong, but at the same time, she had a charm to her, didn't she? She wouldn't have been so big in Flight School if she hadn't. Yet here she was, jobless. She didn't have a place on a flight team, and the Equestrian military deemed her unfit for service because of 'behavioral problems', so she couldn't even go with that.

Gilda eventually decided that she had to do SOMETHING about this. She knew Dash had a pretty sweet job in the weather service, so she came to Ponyville. She had just arrived in town when she thought that maybe, just maybe, Dash might not welcome her with open wings. Gilda had stood on the edge of Ponyville, feeling like an idiot. She decided to turn back, and go find someone else willing to help her net a career, but then she heard someone call out to her. She had looked to the source of the voice, seeing a white unicorn with a blue mane that was trying way too hard to look fancy. Gilda considered just flying away and leaving her there, but she couldn't think of anywhere else to go. So she'd ended up reluctantly talking to this unicorn, and said pony somehow managed to convince the gryphon to stick around and learn from her.

"Seems more like she wants me to write my life story, or something," Gilda said to no one in particular, taking a look at the journal from the corner of her eye. She half-considered picking it back up again, but shook her head quickly. "What am I thinking? I'd rather talk to Dash than waste more time with that thing!" She stood, spread her wings, and drifted to the forest floor. She was hungry, and hunting was something to do, besides.

The journal
Still don't know why I bother with this stupid thing
November 3

I'm amazed. Today wasn't a total waste of time. See, I always thought it was normal for ponies to act like complete egotistical jerk-offs. That's just how pretty much everyone in Flight School acted, so I just assumed...Not that I'm still not the closest thing to cool this town will ever get, but hey. That's why I was so surprised when Dash told me off. After all, she used to act like that too.

I also met this pony today that seemed so familiar, but I can't put a talon on it. She's this yellow pegasus with a pink mane, and she's really damn quiet. Pretty annoying. I think I saw her the last time I came to ponyville, actually. The one who bumped into me. Yea. That.

I feel guilty about that, I guess. I didn't mean to get so mad at her. I don't even remember why I did. Maybe I'll say sorry later. Maybe. But right now, I'm more concerned about where I've seen her b-

Gilda's head shot up, her eyes wide. She totally remembered now. Flutterklutz. "I went to Flight School with her! Didn't she disappear after that time where she fell to the ground? I thought she was dead! Maybe she just dropped out." A nearby bird was staring at her for the sudden outburst. Gilda gave it a death glare. "What're you looking at, punk?" The small avian wisely ditched, leaving behind an embarrassed gryphon. She got to writing again, trying to forget that happened.

Just remembered. How could I forget Fluttershy? Sheesh, she couldn't do ANYTHING right. Rainbow Crash has that nickname for a reason, but this filly could barely take a step without tripping herself up, let alone get off the clouds! I remember Dash used to stick up for her, so I'd tease RD about being her fillyfriend. That always got her feathers ruffled.

Now I really DO feel bad about that. I guess RD's protectiveness of her rubbed off on me, because I started doing it too. I got to wonder, though. Exactly how did those punks live with themselves messing with her? I mean, buck, those eyes will get you every time. Well, that's besides the point. I'll do it tomorrow. I don't feel like it right now. Her cottage is on the edge of the Everfree, so I don't even have to go into town to talk to her.

Gilda ended up going to town anyway. There'd only been one pony she'd ever apologized to on a regular basis, and Dash wasn't the kind to really care about apologies. She could assume that this was normal for ponies, but if that was the case, why did she feel like she even had to apologize? No, she was going to ask Rarity. She'd spent almost her entire life assuming something stupid, and she'd never get better at this 'healthy social interaction' if she didn't stop doing that.

The gryphon took a wary look to her left, right, and above before she approached the boutique from an alleyway on the other side of the street. Maybe she was a little paranoid of being seen by Dash, but Gilda just wasn't in the mood to deal with her right now. Dash could be one of the most unreasonable punks the avian knew when she was mad, and she didn't let go of grudges easily, either. But she'd been lucky so far not to run into her or-

"I see you! UUUUUUUUUH!" Oh Orion why her why now! "You're GILDA! Rrrrr! What are you doing back here, you bully!" Gilda slowly turned, eyes wide and a nervous grin on her face. There was a pink pony there with an absolutely terrifying scowl. Pinkie Pie. Gilda backed up to the door of Rarity's home and business, and pressed her back to it, stalked the entire way by Pinkie. The ponies in the streets gave both of them a wide berth.

"I...Uh...Hey! Is that a party over there?" That was completely lame, and Gilda knew it, but the impression she got of this particular pony the last time she was here was that the party lover wasn't the brightest lamp on the street. And somehow, it worked.

"Really?!" Pinkamena's head turned quickly, the scowl replaced by a bright smile. As she saw no party, she looked confused, and her gaze snapped back to where Gilda had, before, stood. "I don't see a...Heeeey! You tricked me!" She huffed and stamped her fore-hooves in front of the now slammed and locked door. Gilda, on the other side of said door, wiped her brow, and slumped. A white unicorn stared at her in surprise and annoyance from a sewing machine she had been feeding bits of cloth through before she'd been rudely interrupted.

"Geez, that pony is buckin' scary..." Rarity's brow furrowed, and she shook her head disapprovingly.

"Language, Gilda!" The gryphon thought of giving her a glare in return, but took a deep breath instead, and raised up her claws in a gesture of surrender. "Now, who is scary, and why have you so unceremoniously barged into my residence?"

"That...Pinkie Pie. She cornered me and..." Gilda chirped in shock as the very same pony popped out of a potted plant, pointing at her menacingly with a hoof. Rarity shrieked, but less in surprise at this occurrence, and more in horror of the dirt now on her carpet. The fashionista set about cleaning up the mess as Pinkie advanced on the gryphon.

It wasn't as though Gilda couldn't handle herself in a fight. She was a gryphon, after all, and that meant that, in general, she was a rather deadly combatant and more than a match for any pony. But when Pinkie is angry, it's not exactly the easiest thing to stay brave. Gilda could think of a few things more dangerous, but none of them nearly as terrifying. Which is why, with the party pony approaching, she thought it prudent to blurt out, "I'M HERE TO SAY SORRY TO FLUTTERSHY," as loudly and quickly as she could. At that, Pinkie's attitude took a complete 180, and she was right back to being as happy as a clam.

"Oh well that's okay then! But Fluttershy isn't here, silly! This is Rarity's house!"

"Which you are tracking so much dirt through," wailed the unicorn, who was still trying to get all the dirt out of her floor.

"Oops..." Pinkie looked apologetic, and offered Rarity a smile. "It'll come right out, I bet! Anyway, this is Rarity's house!"

"Uh...Yea. See, I dunno how I'd apologize to her." Gilda was still eying the earth pony with distrust. "I don't really do that often. Let's get one thing straight here, though." Pride took over as she grabbed Pinkie's muzzle, pulling her in closer. "I'm only doing this because I want to. I still think you're lame, and I still don't like you." She realized that wasn't doing her any favors, and she let go, dropping her head. If that effected Pinkamena at all, she didn't show it. "...But I guess I need your help."

"I have JUST the thing, too! But you have to promise me something! You won't be mean to ANYPONY while you're here! Not even mean ponies!" Gilda raised a talon to protest, glaring holes at the violently pink equine. 'Don't tell me what to do' was what was coming to her mind, but Gilda forced it back, and took a deep breath to regain control of herself. She didn't notice Rarity smiling at her showing at least this bit of self-control.

"Okay, I promise."

"Cross your heart and hope to fly, stick a cupcake in your eye! Saaaaay it!"

"What?! No, that's stupid!" Gilda gave Pinkie an incredulous look, wondering what the hay she'd been drinking to make her think the avian would agree to such a lame, idiotic thing. Pinkie shrugged and plopped down onto her haunches, Rarity barely moving a hoof out of the way before it was sat upon.

"Then I won't help you." Folding her arms, the earth pony turned her nose up, and head to the side. Gilda couldn't help but laugh at the childishness of that act, and smirked.

"Fine. Cross my heart and hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye. That good enough for you?"

"You didn't do the motions!" Gilda blinked rapidly, and Rarity cleared her throat, leaning a bit closer to her pink friend.

"Pinkie, dear, I think that's going a bit too far. Take what you can get." She flashed Pinkie her best winning smile, and after a few tense moments, the Element of Laughter relented and stood back up.

"Okay, now listen, this is my idea..."

Gilda's journal, November 4

That went about as well as I thought it would. It wasn't a disaster, but I didn't really get anywhere, either. So Pinkie's idea was to give her a bunch of flowers. Rarity called it a 'bouquet'. She seemed like she didn't Pinkie's choice of flowers, but I really don't care about this symbolism of flowers crap. I'm pretty sure most ponies don't care about that either. She gave up, and I walked to Fluttershy's cottage alone. I made it pretty clear I didn't want either of them coming with me, but I know I saw them spying on me. Whatever.

Anyway, so I got there and knocked, and she opened the door. Then she immediately screamed and slammed the door shut. I kinda expected that, honestly. Orion, she's cute when she's like that. I swear that if you had too much exposure to her, you'd explode or something. Well, I tried to get her to open the door, but it was completely quiet in there. I just said what I came to say, left the flowers there, and that was that. I'm sure she got the message, but I'll try again tomorrow.

You know, I think I like this writing thing. Maybe I'll start writing something other than what happens to me. But what? I guess that's what this whole 'inspiration' thing is for, but how do I get t

"E-Excuse me...Ms. Gilda?" The gryphon jumped, nearly dropping her quill. She set it in her journal, slammed the book shut, and glared over the side of the branch she'd been nesting on. The pale-yellow pegasus that had spoken squeaked at that expression, and lowered herself to the ground. "I-I'm sorry! Please don't hurt me-!"

Gilda blinked, her glare completely vanished, and replaced with a look of astonishment. "Flutterkl-I mean, Fluttershy? What're you doing here?" The pony didn't respond, she just kept trembling. Gilda frowned, and glided down to her side. Feeling very awkward, she laid a claw on Fluttershy's shoulder. "Geez, dweeb, I'm not gonna hurt you. I just wanna know why you came out here." Gilda admitted to herself she was a little mad, but that was mostly because the Everfree was dangerous, and she didn't like the thought of the pegasus getting herself hurt.

Getting slightly braver in the face of not having been eaten yet, Fluttershy lifted her head and stammered for a moment before gathering herself enough to talk. "I was wondering if...If you really liked me that much..." She then buried her face under both forelegs, squeaking. Gilda was completely unsure of how to respond to this, but she definitely wasn't thinking the same thing Fluttershy was.

"Yea, look. When we were in Flight School, I saw how much Dash liked you. I didn't get it, but I figured if RD wanted to stick up for you, you had to be worth something." She paused for a moment. "Do I really want to tell her this crap? Ah horseapples, might as well just jump in all the way." Gilda cleared her throat and continued. "So I dunno if you noticed, but I kinda...Well, I kinda started helping you out. Behind the scenes and crap. When you got bullied, I'd show the dweebs what it was like to be on the receiving end, things like that. So, yea, I guess, as lame as it sounds, I do kinda like you. I felt real bad about yelling at you last time I was in ponyville, so I decided to make up for it." The gryphon was still absolutely clueless about what Fluttershy really meant, but Fluttershy was clueless about Gilda being clueless. "It's a totally lame excuse, but I kinda didn't recognize you at the time."

Fluttershy just blushed more and more as Gilda went on, and after a few moments of utter silence, the avian muttered something about having to do something important. Before she could fly back up, though, the pegasus broke the awkward lull. "MaybeyouwanttodosomethingsoonIguessImeanifthatsokaywithyou!" Gilda froze, and forced a smile on her beak. She knew that Fluttershy's interests were as boring as buck, and that she shared absolutely none of them with the ranger. But she needed to learn how to stand things like that, didn't she? Rarity did say that Gilda should pretend to be interested in what others had to say, even if she wasn't. The gryphon wasn't sure she had the patience for that kind of ordeal, but attempting with someone she actually had something to lose with would be good practice at the very least.

"Uh...Sure. I guess we could have lunch, or something." She rubbed the back of her head with a claw, then added, "I guess there's no restaurants that serve meat around here, but I can eat fruits." "Why is she blushing so much? Is that how she acted in the Academy? I seriously don't remember."

"U-Um...That...That sounds...Nice." Another awkward silence followed, and Gilda was beginning to wonder if this pony had a screw loose. Eventually, though, Fluttershy spoke. "A-At....Noon?"\

"It's lunch. Of course noon." Gilda had a flat look on her face, but she instantly regretted it when Fluttershy cringed. "...Don't be such a dweeb. I'm not going to bite." The avian hesitated as she realized going out for lunch would probably get her seen by Dash or that dork she was going out with. Or was she married? Gilda found herself wishing she'd paid more attention to that when she spoke. "Actually, let's eat at your pad. I don't really want to go to town."

"OkayIwillseeyouthenbye!" And Fluttershy dashed off, leaving behind a very confused gryphon.

"...She's cute, but she has problems." Gilda went back to her nest to finish that entry.

Anyway, I was saying that I should probably ask Rarity about writing tips. Does she write? She seems like she would.

Fluttershy just dropped by. She was acting really weird, asked if I wanted to hang out. Not really, but I guess I should. I owe her that much after all this time. I told her a little too much, maybe. I said yes, we could get lunch, and...Wait a second. Wait a damn second. Oh crap.

She was blushing. I gave her flowers. We're going to eat together. This is a bucking date.

Pinkie, I'm going to kill you!

Writing is Expression - The Druid and the Barbarian

All in all, the visit wasn't too bad so far. It was far too awkward in the beginning, because Fluttershy hadn't been speaking at all, and Gilda could only think about how idiotic she was for actually showing up.

The pair sat outside of Fluttershy's cottage, on the grass. It was a very nice day, if nothing else. The skies were completely clear today, and the high-noon sun made it warm, despite the season. The colors of the leaves were vivid reds and yellows, not having yet fallen from the branches thanks to the Running of the Leaves being post-poned that year. It was the perfect time for a slow-paced, romantic lunch. That was part of the problem. Another part was that Fluttershy had decided to cook, rather than eating out, which made it seem more like she wanted to make this special.

The gryphon desperately tried to think of something to say. Anything. Something to make this less embarrassing. "I need to let her know what this is before she gets her hopes up too far. I just wanted to apologize, not give her a crush on me! Horseapples, does she have a crush?" The avian took a nervous glance over at the pegasus next to her, who was staring at the leaves, a peaceful smile on her face. "Orion, it's hard to tell with her! What do I do?! Okay, small talk. Good." "So, uh ... Nice weather we're having?"

"Yes. It's nice ... "

" ... "

" ... "

" ... Weather team around here must be pretty good, huh?"

"Yes, they are ... "

" ... "

" ... "

Gilda groaned inwardly, and she rubbed a claw over her face. "This is CRAZY. Why can't I think of anything to say?! We might not have anything in common, but this is ridiculous!" Desperate for something, anything, she blurted out, "So what's with the eye-patch?"

Fluttershy blushed something fierce, and glanced down at the plate of food in front of Gilda. "It was some grease. It flew into my eye." Upon seeing the sudden concern on the gryphons face, she quickly added, "it's nothing serious, it just hurts a little." Gilda nodded. Normally she would shrug, deny she cared, but she'd already confessed to the pegasus that she did care; at least about her well-being. She was still pretty thankful for her food choice. The ranger had to deal with a lot of animals, and that included carnivorous ones. In practice, this meant she was experienced with preparing meat, something that surprised a lot of the ponies who knew her when they first learned, and creeped them out long after. Gilda, on the other claw, was surprised, but not one to look a gift platter of meat in the protein.

"You didn't have to cook. I told you, we coulda gotten something."

Fluttershy lowered her head, making Gilda instantly regret that. "I just wanted to make this very nice. There aren't any restaurants in Ponyville that serve meat, and ... I'm sorry ... "

Gilda quickly shook her head, and popped a piece of the lunch into her mouth, swallowing quickly. "Nah, it's okay. Seriously, don't get all emo. It's cool." "It's totally not cool. Stop reassuring her and start making it clear!" "Uh ... Listen, Fluttershy. I think you got the wrong idea about all this. I ... Uh ... " She started trailing off as Fluttershy looked to her, those aqua-marine eyes filled with an absolutely adorable curiousity, made worse by a nervous apology already forming in her mouth.

"D-Do you not like that kind of meat? ... A-Are you a vegetarian?" Gilda couldn't help herself. She fell to her side and cracked up. She laughed so hard she couldn't breath, rolling in the grass. Fluttershy blinked in confusion, but she soon gained an awkward smile, and eventually began to giggle herself. When the fits wore off, Gilda wiped a tear from her eye, panting for air, and Fluttershy shyly offered, "Th-That was very silly of me, wasn't it ... ?"

Gilda smirked and nodded. "Yea ... Phew. That was. You're such a dweeb, but you make me laugh." She sat up, getting a more serious look on her face. "But what I meant is that I didn't mean this to be a date. I just wanted to apologize, that's all. I don't want you to get your hopes up ab-Oh c'mon don't start crying!" It was too late. Fluttershy's eyes began to water. Gilda desperately attempted to console the ranger before it was too late, but the deluge had begun. When Fluttershy began crying, Gilda felt the world closing its heart to her. She knew that nothing in existence could do anything but hate her. As long as hate lasted.

Gilda was the first victim. With Fluttershy sad, all joy was gone from the world. Only apathy remained. None could even lift so much as a hoof. The world became grey, and desolate. Nothing seemed worth it anymore. Fluttershy ascended to a new level of existence purely by the force of her undyingly sorrowful will, and then everypony turned into orange-juice and became a hive-mind for some reason.

Also, none of that actually happened.

When Fluttershy's expression utterly fell, the gryphon knew she couldn't go through with it. "But hey! Look, it turned out great! Sure, it was really lame at first, with us not saying or doing much of anything, but it's starting to be pretty nice now!" As the pegasus sniffled, Gilda awkwardly wrapped her fore-legs around her 'date'. "It's alright, really. C'mon, we can ... We can do this again. Like ... Friday, or something." "Why am I doing this?! If I don't stop this now, it'll only get worse!"

Gilda's Journal, November 5

Orion, I suck. I just should have told her. WHY COULDN'T I TELL HER?!

The last time I saw her cry, it was heart-wrenching. But I was so pissed, I didn't care. This time I didn't have a way to defend against it. It was like getting hit with an Apathy spell, but not being allowed a Will Save.

What? I played Dungeons and Dragons like, once. Or Twice. Okay, so I was really into it for a few years. Don't judge me, asshole!

Gilda glared at her journal, but soon remembered she was the only one who knew what was in it. Also, a book couldn't judge her. Feeling very stupid, she continued.

Yea, well. Actually, that reminds me. I'm starting to write a book. Nothing big, just a short story. I showed it to Rarity, and she helped me fix it up a lot. I can't believe how much I'm getting into this. They say everyone's got to have a hobby, but this surprises even me. I mean, big, tough Gilda, writing a fantasy short? I hope nopony I know ever finds out about this. Maybe I should use a pen-name? I heard some authors do that. Rarity suggested Quill-Weave, but I think that's stupid. Weaving as a metaphor for writing is lame, trite, and an over-used cliche that degrades at the fabric of metaphors in general. It's the same thing as when you use an adjective so much it starts to lose its meaning, its impact and holy buck I am actually writing this! Orion, I'm now a nerd.

Whatever. Anyway, I think Quill-Feather is better. Sure, it's kinda redundant, but I think I want to give hints that I'm a gryphon. Show ponies that we're not all violence, honor, and tradition. We can make stuff too. They might just assume I'm a pegasus, though. Better work on that.

Well, I have two days to figure out how I'm going to handle things with Flutterklutz. I'm not asking Pinkie, she got me into this mess. Seriously, what was that dork thinking?! Does she think?! I have one other choice, and this is gonna suck. I need to talk to Dash's main squeeze. Wish me luck, journal. I'm gonna buckin' need it.

Gilda hadn't seen much of Twilight's library the last time she was in Ponyville, and she'd avoided it this visit for obvious reasons. She scoped out the place from an alley across the street, waiting. Eventually, she got what she wanted: A cyan blur shot out of a window, towards the sky. This was her chance to get in and talk to the bookworm without having that flip-flop staring over her shoulder the entire time. So she took the chance, and darted forward. A swift few knocks on the door announced her presence, while the gryphon watched the sky carefully. The door was opened by a baby dragon, who gawked at the sight of the avian. Gilda turned her head down to him, and smirked. "'Sup. I need to talk to the nerd. She here?"

"Uh ... " Spike gulped a bit. "You're ... Cool." The gryphon grinned. She liked this kid already. And she hated kids. She looked down at her claw, brushing the talons over her chest feathers, then held them up a bit to nonchalantly examine them.

"Yea, I know. So?"

Spike looked over his shoulder. "Yea, she's here, but she's busy with something. C'mon in, and she'll get to you."

"Uh ... I'm kinda in a hurry here, squirt." Luckily, Twilight's voice came out from a side room.

"Spike? Do we have a guest?"

"Yea! She's a gryphon, too!" Gilda just waited, and after some scuffling, Twilight emerged from the side room. The unicorn looked a little dusty.

"Oh hey! Sorry, I was doing a little cleaning, and ... " Twilight stopped short, her purple eyes studying Gilda. The gryphon gulped.

"Why do I feel like I'm on display at a museum?" She inched back slightly, uncomfortable all of a sudden. "Yea. I'm Gilda. Look, I know I was a jackmule last time, but c'mon, I didn't do nothin' to you! You barely even know me! Don't you judge me!" The passing question of why she was being so defensive came to her, but was shoved aside.

"Actually, I-"

Gilda wasn't done yet. "I'm trying to do better, okay? It's not like anyone doesn't change! Hay, I even tolerated Pinkie's presence for more than five minutes!"

"That's great, but-"

"I'm taking lessons from your friend Rarity about how to act right, so I don't want to hear a thing about what happened last t-" Twilight cut her off by stamping a hoof. On wood floor, this was pretty loud. "Whoa!"

"Apparently, she didn't teach you not to interrupt others," Twilight deadpanned as only she could. "Or to assume. I was just going to tell you, you have some leaves stuck in your ... Mane? I don't know what gryphons call it. Sorry."

Gilda felt like an utter moron. That stare had made her feel like she was on review, though. For some reason she couldn't help but respond to the imaginary criticism. "Maybe I do feel kinda bad about all that ... Nah." Gilda was only trying to spend time with her best friend, after all. She kept getting interrupted by dorks and lame-Os like Pinkie. " ... Okay. Uh, sorry." This was the second pony she'd apologized too who wasn't Rainbow Dash.

"It's okay. I don't have anything against you, as long as you aren't treating my friends like dirt anymore."

Gilda hesitated at the somewhat icy tone from this unicorn. On one claw, something in the back of her mind told her she deserved it. Strangely, the other claw did not hold a dissenting opinion. That one was just telling her that this nag was way more scary than Pinkie, and she wasn't sure why. "I'm not. I promise."

"Great!" Twilight sparkle smiled, sitting at the table she had set up in the middle of the library. "Now, what did you need?"

"Okay. So, I heard you were kinda an egghead." As Twilight's expression got a bit flat, Gilda coughed into a claw. "I mean, you're smart. It's not always an insult. But yea, I heard you were smart, so I was wondering," looking to the side as she spoke, Gilda rubbed her left fore-leg with her right claw. "Could you tell me how to break it to someone that I'm not into them?"

The unicorn stared at her silently for a few moments. It wasn't the same kind of stare as before, thankfully, but the uncomfortable look of 'I'm completely out of my league here' spoke volumes about Twilight's ability to help the gryphon. "Actually, I really don't know if I can. I mean ... Look, let me tell you a quick story. It won't take long," Twilight added, holding up a hoof against the protest that Gilda had.

"Fine. But hurry it up. I don't wanna be here when Dash gets back."

" ... Why I'm not really qualified to help you."

"Okay, so, lemme get this straight. You're with Dash because you wanted to give it a try. Well, that's a cool story, I guess." Gilda actually meant it. It gave her ideas for her own story, which was quickly becoming a novel instead of a short. "You're right. Doesn't help me. I don't want to try, I want to make sure I don't break her heart or something."

"I didn't think it would, but it was worth a shot." Twilight had been writing out something while talking, making the gryphon wonder if she could really pay attention to two different things at once. The avian had heard things from a traveling show-mare about just how crazy powerful Twilight's magic and mind were, but it was still pretty amazing. It was also impressive actually seeing it. That performer seemed a little on the obsessed side for a few moments there, so her opinions were suspect. "Why don't you tell me a little bit more, though? Nightmare's in the details, right?"

Gilda was afraid of that. "I'm just gonna get to the point. It's Flutterklu-" She cut herself off quickly. "Shy."

"Flutterklushy? Don't know anyone by that name." Twilight looked confused, and Gilda face-palmed.

"Fluttershy. Don't ask about the name."

The lavender coated unicorn looked very surprised at that. She'd quite honestly expected it to be ... Well, anypony besides Fluttershy. "Oookay. Yes, I really wouldn't want to hurt her feelings either. But you don't really seem like you'd have a problem just saying it."

"Well, I do!" Gilda growled, though not at Twilight. She threw up her forelegs in frustration. "I just can't do it! It's like punching a puppy!"

"How would you know-"

"Figure of speech!"

" ... Anyway, the best thing to do really is to just confront her and say it. Sure, you'll hurt her feelings, but she'll have her friends to cheer her up. And you want to be her friend, right?"

The gryphon hesitated, lowering herself again and thinking. She stared at the ground, her eyes shifting slightly from wood grain to wood grain. She hadn't even considered that. This entire time she'd just been focused on learning from Rarity, working on her first novel, and then apologizing to Fluttershy. She hadn't considered past that what she was going to do after. It felt good, actually. Not having to worry about how she was going to make bits, how she was going to make it in the world, what she was going to do in life. Questions that became a lot more important once she graduated from the academy. Questions that seemed so far away when she was still a student.

But here, those questions all seemed to flow away, again. Sure, the nightlife was non-existent, and the place was way too quiet, but Ponyville was very relaxing. She'd been able to chill and not think about the future at all. She liked that.

She really liked that. "Yea. I do," she finally affirmed, looking up with a smile. "I guess I do want to be her friend. I'm not sure about the rest of you dweebs yet, but Rarity's been pretty cool to me, too."

Twilight ignored the dweeb comment, keeping her smile. "There ya go! You'll be there for her, even if you're not there for her as a lover."

"Heh ... " The bluntness of that made her rub the back of her head. "Yea, well, I'm gonna get going. I got some things to do. Oh, yea, do me a favor and don't tell Dash I-"

"Don't tell me what, jerk?"

"Ffffff-!"

Gilda's Journal, November 6

Dash knows I'm in Ponyville now. She walked in while I was talking to Twilight. How was I supposed to know it would only take her half an hour to fix up the weather just right?! Orion damn it all, this wasn't supposed to happen!

She walked in, I tried to leave, she stopped me. Now look, this is NOT my fault. I was trying my best to not start anything. I even ASKED her to get out of my way. She didn't, and then she started yelling. I was trying! I really was! I didn't yell back, I just tried to reason with her. That was stupid. Just made her more angry. The more mad she got, the more mad I got, and then I couldn't take it anymore. I started yelling back. It got worse and worse, and Twilight separated us with some kind of magic thingy. I stormed out, and didn't look back. Dash was still cussing up a storm when I left. I'm glad she had no idea I was hanging around Fluttershy or Rarity, but she'll probably figure it out sooner or later. She'll be watching for me now.

I'm going to get to writing my novel. I don't think I'll sleep tonight, I'm still pissed and I've got this weird urge. Like I need to write. To get it out of my system. I noticed something today, too. Two of the characters in this book are basically made for each other. One's a Druid, the other is a Barbarian. Soft and gentle, rough and angry. I dunno why I think they're perfect, and I really didn't want to go into romance in my first book, but hey. What feels right feels right. Now, how to start hooking them up ...

Writing is Expression - Better Off Alone

" ... you alright, Gilda?" The gryphon only heard the last part of what Fluttershy was saying. She jerked her head up, blinking a few times. The avian just now noticed her face was almost in her own food. Gilda gave the pegasus a weak smile, and waved a claw dismissively.

"Nah, I'm good. Just thinking." Fluttershy saw through that lie in a second, but decided it was best not to push it. She couldn't get rid of her worried expression, though. Thankfully, Gilda didn't seem to notice. Not in the state she was in. Staying up all night writing that novel was a terrible idea, but the gryphon had been running on the adrenaline of her anger. She hadn't felt tired at all, until she realized that it was time for the second date. In fact, she'd gotten so much done last night. The avian hadn't been sure what had triggered it, but she had experienced a burst of inspiration. She had no idea she could write that fast. Gilda had almost set several pages on fire before she caught herself, and was forced to slow down. But there was still the problem of what had quickly become the novel's biggest sub-plot. The Barbarian had found civilization to be very hard on her, and it's ponies not very accepting. Since the druid lived near a town, she had to bear it, though. Gilda STILL didn't know how to get them together, and that subplot was devolving into something else entirely.

That was frustrating enough. She'd had to stop dead in her writing, because she had no idea how to carry on from that point. And she didn't need that extra frustration. Having to deal with Dash, on top of where she was with Fluttershy, was really beginning to eat at her. She couldn't afford to lose her temper, however, and thus bit it back as much as she could. She liked being here. Despite how boring it was around this cottage, she found it really enjoyable. So it wasn't so much being around the pegasus as it was being on a date with her. But Gilda just couldn't get the words out.

She rubbed at her eyes with her claws, prompting the pegasus to say, "Maybe you should take a nap? You can sleep in my cottage if you want. I won't disturb you."

The gryphon felt a surge of anger rising, but she forced it down. "She's just concerned, Gilda. Let it go." She did, however, raise a talon up to Fluttershy's nose and narrow her eyes. "I'm fine." It came out more harshly than she wanted, and seeing the pegasus shrink back cooled the gryphon down a lot. "No, really. I ... Ya know what? Fine. I guess I could use a nap. But I need to go back to my nest."

Fluttershy found herself more brave at her suggestion being accepted, and stood up on all four of her hooves. "G-Gilda, I really don't think you'll make it there in this condition. Please ... !" The gryphon sighed heavily, refusing to look at Fluttershy. She knew if she did, she would see those eyes. And she couldn't resist those eyes. No pony, gryphon, zebra, or dragon was capable of that.

"C'mon, dweeb, I can't ... " The gryphon rubbed her forehead, taking a weary look to the sky. "Ugh ... Look, you know what'll happen if Dash comes over here?"

"I'll tell her to leave you alone." The pegasus's expression was more firm now. "And if she thinks she can bother someone who really needs sleep, even if it's you, she has another think coming!" Realizing what she'd said, the pony lowered her head, and hid her face behind her mane. "I-I mean ... If you don't want to be bothered by her, that is ... "

Gilda shook her head. "No way. I'll be fine, I'm a tough chick, not a cub." She started to rise, but the sudden rush of blood made her so dizzy she almost fell over again. The avian flinched when she felt Fluttershy support her, pressing her side to the gryphon's to hold her up.

"No!" That was so forceful that Gilda couldn't help but stare in shock at the pegasus. That was a mistake. There was something about Fluttershy's eyes that made her freeze up. Her will drained away. She wanted to back off, to get away from that glare, but she simply couldn't move. "Now listen here, Gilda! You are going to march right into that cottage, go to my guest room, and lie down!" The gryphon opened her beak to protest, but nothing came from it. She was completely freaked out, but Gilda could do nothing but obey as the ranger made her do just that. It was only when that glare was broken that Gilda found herself capable of even moving of her own free will, and she was already in bed. "Now, you sleep tight." That authorative, stern tone was completely gone, replaced by Fluttershy's normal soft, sweet tone.

As she trotted out of the room, Gilda didn't have much time to consider what had just happened before the gryphon fell asleep.

Hours later, Gilda woke up. She smelled a dinner being cooked, and jerked up into a sitting position. "What time is it?!" She looked out the window to see the sun had already set. "Okay, it's gotta be like ... 1 LR at the latest. Horseapples, that's still not enough ... " She yawned widely, and shook her head to clear it. " ... Sleep." She still felt tired and grumpy, but at least she felt like she could walk now. Gilda got out of bed, and headed downstairs.

Fluttershy was humming as she flitted about the kitchen, preparing food. The sight was rather amazing. Fluttershy didn't simply use her wings to hover from place to place. She didn't only use her legs. It was more like she swam through the air, using her legs to propel her into small hops, and her wings to steer her, and allow her to glide. Given the size of her kitchen, it was very necessary.

It was also one of the most graceful, and beautiful things Gilda had ever seen. The equine moved more like a deer than a pony, and her motions were so fluid, yet they wasted no energy. Movements that should have tired out the pony all too easily seemed effortless. Rarity was graceful as well, but it was a practiced, poised. This was so much more natural. So much less ... Fake. Gilda had spent much of her life in pony lands, and hadn't ever really picked up on much of her kind's habits or ideals. She always thought how poetic gryphons could be about art was stupid, a waste of time. But now she understood what they meant. For a moment, this gryphon was mesmerized by the sight, only able to watch. A soft gasp broke her out of the trance, and she noticed the Element of Kindness was staring at her.

The avian smiled and waved. "Uh, hey."

"Oh, you shouldn't be up yet," Fluttershy fussed as she walked over to Gilda. The gryphon shook her head.

"I know, I know. But I'm good enough now to get back to my nest. You ... Uh ... " She looked a bit embarrassed, and rubbed the back her her head with a claw as she looked around the kitchen. "You weren't cooking for me, were you?"

"W-Well ... " The pegasus shyly looked to the floor, shuffling her hooves. "I was ... B-But I can bring you some if you really have to leave now ... "

"Yea, I just don't want to be around too long. Dash could drop by any second." She admitted she was being a little paranoid about this, but the gryphon reasoned it was better to be safe than sorry. "See you later, I guess." As she turned to leave, the pegasus hopped forwards, and gulped.

"G-Gilda, wait! I want to say something," she hurriedly spoke. The gryphon grit her beak together, and turned slowly, trying to keep herself from snapping at the pegasus. "I really ... I just wanted to ... I mean ... "

"C'mon, dork, spit it out. I gotta go!"

Fluttershy squeaked and quickly blurted out, "IreallythinkIlikeyouinfactIreallyreallythinkiloveyouGilda!"

That was the last straw. The avian couldn't take any more of this. "For Orion's sakes, dweeb! Look, I know I mighta lead you on or something, but seriously! I'm a buckin' gryphon, not a pony! I didn't mean to go out with you in the first buckin' place! It was just an apology, and that damn Pinkie Pie ruined it! AGAIN!" The pegasus just stood there, staring at Gilda with her pupils retracted, and her body trembling. "Don't say you love me! You don't even know me! All I want is to finish this stupid book, get a job, forget about that flip-flop Dash, and get the buck out of this BORING! NOWHERE! LAME! STUPID LITTLE LAZY TOWN!" She didn't notice Fluttershy crying. She was too pissed. It was just like last time she made her cry. She was too angry to care, and she didn't know why. She stormed out of the cottage, and went right back to her nest, fuming the entire way.

Gilda's Journal, November 10

So, you might notice that it's been three days since I put in an entry.

This is because I don't give a flying buck. Fluttershy went crying to her friends, and Pinkie was WAITING for me. I know the klutz didn't get to her friends fast enough for that. How did that stupid little pink dweeb know?! Whatever. Long story short, she kicked me out of Ponyville. Well, less her, and more an angry mob lead by her. I guess I can't go back there again.

I'm staying in another small town right now, not too far away from Manehatten. I'm pissed, but not too hard up to forget what Rarity taught me. It was pretty easy to land some temporary work for some money. I just keep to myself in this town, and so far no one bothers me. I just work, and go back home to write my novel. Of course, it's not really routine if I've only been doing it two days.

I don't really know why I'm writing in this journal right now. I guess ... I guess I have to have SOMEONE to talk to. ANYONE. It's not really helping though. Maybe I'll just get back to writing my novel. Maybe I shouldn't even bother. No publisher is going to take it. I can't edit worth a buck, and I don't know anyone around here. I don't want to, either.

At least it's something to do...

And so Gilda wrote. Or at least, she tried. No matter how hard she tried, not a single word came to the paper. She didn't have writer's block, she had plenty of ideas. She just didn't want to put them down. The gryphon didn't even want to think of romance, but she couldn't bring herself to move the story on in it's main plot without developing the sub-plot.

She tried to force the words down, but they just felt wrong. Not only that, but she noticed trying to make herself write just made the quality suffer. It went from decent to just barely passable. It was robotic, unfeeling. Her heart just wasn't in it. Gilda was lost, and so was her inspiration. She needed to get out of her house, and do something. Having no recourse, the gryphon headed for Manehatten...

The bass was far too jacked up for Gilda's tastes. This wasn't her kind of music. But this club, with it's throbbing beats, strobe lights, and thick crowd, was exactly what the gryphon needed to keep her mind off the novel she was writing ... And the town she'd bucked up in a second time. This time for good.

Gryphons weren't too uncommon in big cities, whether they were Equestria raised, or from the Lands Beyond coming to pony lands for a good time. But they were uncommon enough that Gilda got a lot of attention. She soaked it up, and for a while, she forgot her troubles. She was just touching off a weird looking but tasty drink when a stallion came up beside her. "Hey, baby. You new in the city, or just in my heart?" Gilda turned her head, a brow cocked in the direction of the voice. The stallion was fairly tall, bigger than her, and had a green coat and a copper mane. A pegasus. At least, Gilda assumed he was. She was pretty sure she wasn't drunk enough to hallucinate wings.

"You spend all night thinking up that line?" The stallion winced, and chuckled nervously. The gryphon supposed he was cute anyway. "Well, whatever. You gonna sit?"

The pegasus seemed surprised he hadn't bucked up badly enough to make the avian dismiss him, and sat next to her. "Yea, okay, that was lame. I'm Boxcars." Gilda snuck a look at his cutie mark, though it was really just an excuse to check out the male's flanks. A pair of dice, both up on six.

"Yea, I can see that. Whadya want?" Gilda smirked at him. "As if I don't already know."

The stallion laid his fore-legs on the bar and leaned onto them a bit. "I guess I'm just curious about gryphons. Never really got to know any yet."

Gilda let off a "Heh," and looked down at her drink, considering. This guy wasn't a total sleazebag, which was a plus, but she wasn't sure if she wanted to go through with something like this. What would Fluttershy think? She shook her head, growled, and downed the rest of the drink. The stallion flinched, thinking he'd done something wrong and was about to die. "Why do I give a buck what she would think? It doesn't matter anymore. I don't want or need any lame-o's approval!" Slamming the glass back to the bar, she let out a breath at the distinct taste of alcohol. The bartender glared.

"Hey, you break it, you buy it!"

"Up yours, jackmule. It's not broke, so don't nag." She grinned to the green pegasus, who was starting to consider whether this was a good idea or not. The sultry look she gave him made up his mind ... And put up his wings. "So, you comin' back with me? I live over in Wither's Bend."

"Yeees Ma'am!"

The light of the morning sun was muffled by the cheap shutters on the bedroom window, and the gryphon lay in bed, wishing that sunlight would buck off and die. Gilda felt ill. It wasn't the alcohol. She didn't drink enough for that. She didn't even have a hangover. What she did have was a sense of shame. Self-disgust.

The stallion hadn't treated her wrong, or bucked and ran. In fact, he was still there, in bed, snoring. She wished he had left last night. Then maybe she wouldn't feel so sick of herself. She also wished she knew why she felt like throwing up. Gilda wasn't a virgin, and she knew she was into males, so none of this made sense. She went out, she picked up a guy, she had sex. That took her mind off her worries, which was what she wanted in the first place. "So why do I just want to cry right now?"

The pony stirred, but she didn't turn to look at him. He stretched, yawned, and sat up. "Hey, you awake?"

Part of her wanted to pretend to be asleep, but that wouldn't solve any of this. "Yea. You leavin'?"

"I wasn't planning on it yet, but ... You sound like you really want me to."

Gilda closed her eyes tightly, gritting her beak, and she suddenly pulled herself up, growling. "Yea. Get out."

The stallion gave the back of her head a confused look, and he hopped off the bed. "You sure? You really look you need somepony to talk t-"

"GET THE BUCK OUT!" She roared, now facing him with a look of fury. It wasn't really directed at him, and Gilda knew it. But he didn't. The pegasus wisely split, but he couldn't help but give the gryphon a sympathetic look as he fled. That just made her more angry. "I don't need your pity!" She yelled after him. He didn't hear it. He was already gone. Tears flowed down the gryphons cheeks as she buried her face in her claws, her anger devolving into grief. She curled up, just sobbing to herself.

It was an hour before she stopped. By the time she regained herself, Gilda felt very drained. She didn't want to move, she just wanted to stare at the ceiling. "I need to go to work, but why bother?" She sat up once more, and shook her head. "That's stupid, Gilda. You're just upset about losing another friend, that's all," she reassured herself. "Yea. That's it." The avian sighed. Crying had made her feel a little better, and now she had an answer to what was making her so down. It gave the gryphon some confidence and comfort to put a face on her pain. Gilda took a quick bath and ran out so she wouldn't be late.

She still felt a little depressed when she got back, but not nearly as much so as she had the last few days. Things were starting to look up for her. She'd worked better today than she ever had, and her boss noticed. Gave her a small bonus, told her to feel better soon. No boss she'd ever had in those crappy menial labor jobs would have ever been so concerned about her. She still didn't want pity, but it made her feel more like she was ... Home?

No. Like in Ponyville.

That made her wince, and she shook the thought out of her head. "Hey, no. Don't think about that. You're feelin' better, don't buck it up." After getting herself something to eat, she plopped down on her bed and pulled that novel over. "Might as well try." Opening the book, she got to work. "First," she reasoned, "I better read a little before where I stopped. Maybe I'll feel more like writing after that." A particular passage caught her eye, and she started there.

The pony growled. The foolish druid was blocking her path, and the pegasus was not about to stop. Not even for her. Her eyes were filled with the rage and hatred her people were so known for, and Terra Contans knew she was very lucky her companion could show even this much restraint. "Vehementi, this is not the path you desire! Y-You know this!" The gryphon's abnormally small stature made her look almost like a toy in the path of an angry child. An apt description, considering the current mental state of the berserker.

"I. Care. Not. Stand aside, or I will cleave you as I have my other enemies." She let out an angry snort, digging the hoof that had her axe-like blade strapped to it into the ground. The blade scraped over the stone floor of the castle, letting out a horrible screech.

"No!" She stood firm, despite her body's quaking. She was terrified, yes, but she could not let her new friend through. "If we run now, the authorities will not have time to regroup, and we can escape! But if you continue ... !" She gasped as the pony stepped forward. Terra shuddered and shrank back a bit, but she did not get out of the way. " ... You will die ... "

"Did you not hear me?"

"I heard you. B-But I ... I can't stand to watch you do this to yourself! Your anger is eating you, and I can only watch." Terra's eyes watered as she looked to the ground. "If you are so determined ... P-Please ... Just kill me too, so I do not have to follow you any longer."

The pony scoffed, and raised the leg bearing her blade. "So be it." Before it could fall, however, the timid gryphon whispered something that made the equine stop dead. Something that shocked her from her rage.

"I love you." Vehementi, full of anger still, turned, and walked away.

Something was off about all this that Gilda couldn't ignore. It just seemed so familiar. So- "Oh. My. Father. Orion."

The gryphon snarled, barely held back by her only real friend. She shouldn't have interfered, though. Gilda wasn't about to stop. Not even for Dash. She was pissed off as all hell, and her eyes were spelling out bloody murder for that smug bastard across the academy's courtyard. Rainbow Dash knew she couldn't hold her back. "C'mon, Gilda, don't do this! It's just gonna make things worse!"

"I. Don't. Care." The gryphon tugged at the pegasus's forelegs that were holding her back. "I'm gonna beat that jackmule's face in, and if you don't let me go, I'm gonna kick your flank too!" The gryphon was utterly surprised when a pale yellow pegasus jumped in front of her, standing on her hind legs with her forelegs spread out to the side. Gilda gave her a flat look. "Oh yay. Flutterklutz. That goes for you too, dweeb. Get the hay out of my way!"

"No!" She didn't move, no matter how much she was trembling. She was scared of the gryphon, but she was a clever pony. All those times Gilda stood up for her didn't go unnoticed, and Fluttershy didn't want her sometimes-protector to get to the always-bully. "P-Please, just forget him ... I-If you beat him up, you'll just get expelled ... !" The pegasus gasped as Gilda broke free from Dash's hold, and stalked up to her. She was far too angry to even think to go around Fluttershy.

"You think I don't mean it, dork?"

"I-I know you m-mean it, Gilda, but ... " The pony shuddered, gulping, before going on, "but I can't let you d-do this to yourself! You want to graduate from this academy more than - than anything! I know you're mad, but ... " She gulped again, and looked down to the ground, her eyes watering. "If you're going to beat him up ... You'll have to beat me up to."

Gilda raised a claw, balling it into a fist. "Sure will." Before she could let it loose, Fluttershy said something that shocked her to her core. Something that made her anger fly away, and her heart flutter.

"I love you." Gilda, full of confusion, turned, and walked away.

Gilda laughed. It wasn't funny, though. It was HILARIOUS. She laughed so hard she thought she would suffocate. Fluttershy. All that time. And she just forgot. And the best part?

She wasn't really writing about two characters. She was writing about herself. And she missed it all this time, never once suspecting that the pen she used knew more about her than she knew about herself. Laughter faded, and gave way to sobbing. Everything had seemed just fine, everything was okay, and now ... Now all that was gone. She understood now. She understood what she lost.

She'd gotten so angry at Fluttershy because she didn't want to admit she loved her, and now she lost her forever. Gilda picked up the quill. If she couldn't have a happy ending, her characters would, at least. She wiped her tears away, and got to work.

Gilda's Journal, November 11

I don't even want to talk about what I figured out today. I'm so bucked. I had everything I could ever want, and I bucked it all up for the sake of what? My pride? I guess that fits, yea. It's already screwed me over on everything else. Why? Because Fluttershy isn't "cool"? What does it matter, anyway...

I finished my novel. Took it to the publishing company. I think it was called Paradise Publishing. Heh. I basically just put the book on the desk, told the mare to give it to her boss, and walked out. Yea, that's not gonna get my book out there, but I finished it. It's off my chest. Back to life, right?

I need a buckin' drink...

Gilda didn't even hear that throbbing base anymore. She stared down at the drink on the counter. It wasn't a mixed drink this time, just straight up hard liquor. She was on the fifth such shot now, and she was learning that drinking while depressed just makes things much worse. The avian didn't care anymore, though, she just wanted more. She felt a hoof on her shoulder, and she shrugged it off, giving the offender a drunken glare. It was Boxcars. "Gi'off."

"Okay, okay." He held up his forelegs in a gesture of surrender, but didn't lose the sympathetic look. "I just want to make sure you're okay. I kinda feel like I took advantage of you, or something." Gilda rolled her eyes and slumped over the counter.

"Meh. I wuh s'more vodka." The bartender raised a brow, but poured a shot. As long as she was paying, he didn't care what state she was in. The pegasus, however, put his right foreleg in between Gilda and that glass. "Hey!"

"Look, it's Gilda, right? You're in some really bad shape. If you'd just ... "

She brushed him off, giving him a warning growl. "Jus' shup." She downed her sixth shot, but at least she didn't order another one. The trance music that was on the speakers right now wasn't helping her mood, and she couldn't work up the energy to speak up about her empty drink. The green pegasus awkwardly watched her for a few minutes before daring to speak again.

"If there's anything you want, or need ... "

"Wanna be 'lone. Okay? S'all I want." That was clearly a lie, but Boxcars knew that whatever she wanted, he couldn't give it to her. "Jus' ... Jus' go away." The gryphon laid her face on her own fore-legs, and the pegasus got up and walked off. He gave her a bit of a worried look as he did, heading out the door in short order.

"Do you think you're better off alone?" Gilda jerked her head up, and was about to deliver a stinging retort to the mare that said that, and saw no one was there. Her brow furrowed, and she was about to order another shot when she heard, "Do you think you're better off alone." After a moment in which she considered maybe she'd had a little TOO much alcohol, she figured out the voice belonged to the song that was playing. She looked over to the DJ, glaring, then stopped. There was something familiar about her. She had a very fluffy mane, and a balloon cutie mark. Gilda peered, trying to focus. It couldn't be Pinkie. This was a White pegasus with a blonde mane. But she looked so much like her. At that point, the gryphon decided it was time to go home.

As she was leaving, she stumbled a bit, and her eyes widened. Scrambling for the bathroom, Gilda ducked over a toilet bowl, with predictable results. When she was done, she felt much more sober, and was thanking Orion for that. The music was muffled in here, but she could still hear the lyrics to that song. The only lyrics. "Do you think you're better off alone?"

"No. No, I don't," she whispered to herself. "But it's too late now. I can't go back."

"Do you think you're better off alone?"

"I'm not arguing with a song, dammit!" She wasn't completely sober. Gilda sighed and slumped against the partition separating this stall from the next. "Oh, what's the buckin' point..."

"Do you think you're better off alone?"

"Whycan't I go back? Angry mobs! Yea, that's kinda a damper."

"Do you think you're better off alone?"

" ... No. No, buck that. Buck the angry mobs. I'm sick of being a stupid nag who can't swallow her own pride to save her life. I'm sick of being a jackmule." She burst out of the bathroom and dashed up to the stage. Predictably, a bouncer tried to stop her, but he just got bowled over by the gryphon. Gilda then pointed at the DJ, who blinked at her rapidly. "YOU. I know what you're up to!"

"I hope so! I've been DJing at this club for years!" The white pegasus beamed at her. "I hope you're liking the song! You looked sad so I thought I'd play a song for you!"

" ... Okay. No. I'm not falling for that. I know you're Pinkie! Somehow! And you know what?! I want to say I'm sorry for being a complete jerk all those times, okay?" The gryphon waved a claw to the side, looking in that direction. The white pegasus followed her gaze, still beaming widely, while waving off the security. "I could make excuses, yea. I could say you were interrupting my time with Dash, I could say you were really annoying me, I could say you were trying to push yourself onto me as a friend. But ya know what? It's all horseapples. I was the jerk, I was the bully, and I'm sorry. And now, I'm gonna go say sorry to everyone else." Gilda took off for the door, and the bouncer, a brown earth pony with a red mane, hustled up to the white pegasus.

"Ms. Surprise! You okay?"

"Yup!"

"Who was that clown?"

"No idea! But she seemed like she needed to rant at someone, so I let her!" Her eyes glanced to the mixing table and she gasped. "Ack! Gotta change the song back to work!" When the bouncer trotted away, Surprise smiled to herself, changing over to the next track. "She seemed like a pretty nice gryphon after all."

Gilda slept off her drunkenness. Thanks to her intimate time with a toilet bowl the previous night, her hangover was fairly light the next morning. When she sat up in bed, she took a deep breath. "No turning back now. Good thing this place came with furniture." The gryphon made up her bed, grabbed her journal, and headed for the door. She flew on towards Ponyville, deciding she had a lot of ponies to apologize to, and she didn't remember last night too well. She vaguely remembered apologizing to Pinkie, but that was blurry. So, her first stop was that bakery she worked in. Or at least she assumed the earth pony did. She threw PARTIES there, at least, and the gryphon thought there was a good chance Pinkie was throwing another one if it wasn't her place of employment.

She knocked on the door, and wasn't very surprised to find it immediately opened by Pinkie. "Hey. Look, don't throw a fit, or panic, or anything." The earth pony was just staring at her, expectantly. "I'm here to say sorry. I was a complete jackmule, and I know I owe an apology to a LOT of ponies, so I figured I'd start with you. I know, I betrayed your trust," she continued, not noticing that Pinkie wasn't even trying to get a word in. "But I mean it this time. I kinda had one of those epiphany things, and from now on, I'm not letting my pride get in the way. I really, really, really need to talk to Fluttershy, now. But yea. I'm sorr-" She got cut off as the pink pony stuffed a cupcake into her mouth.

"You talk too much, silly! Of course I'll forgive you! But you better go quick before anypony else starts up a mob or tells Dashie!" The door closed, and Gilda just swallowed the cupcake in her beak.

" ... I dunno why I even thought that would end differently." Taking to the sky again, the avian headed for the pegasus's home. She kept an eye on the ground to make sure none of the town's residents were organizing a good, old-fashioned torch and pitchfork parade. She didn't see anything, so Gilda sighed a bit in relief. Unfortunately, she didn't have the presence of mind to look up. So when she got tackled out of the sky, she was completely caught off guard, and hit the ground hard. Gilda groaned and raised her head, shaking it to try and clear the cobwebs. She had to catch her breath while a quartet of cyan hoofs hit the ground in front of her. "Ugh ... Buckin' Orion, I don't have time for you right now."

"That's just too bad, jerk." Rainbow Dash scraped a hoof along the ground, ready to pounce again, as Gilda pulled herself up. "I thought we chased you out of town?"

"Whatever. You're not going to stop me from seeing Fluttershy." The gryphon took in a deep breath, and set herself, preparing for Dash to make the first move.

"Like hay I'm not! I'm going to kick you into next week!" The rainbow-maned pegasus obliged. She lunged for Gilda, who jumped to the side and spun to face where Dash was going, grabbed her hind-legs, and pulled to the left. The weather pony's own momentum swung her and Gilda around, and the avian let go of her legs. Dash hit the ground sliding, her hindquarters sticking into the air until she finally stopped, at which point they hit the dirt again.

"Dash, you might be a lot faster than me, but you're really predictable. Now, chill, I just want to tell you I'm sorry."

The Element of Loyalty whipped around, glaring at Gilda. She was blushing a bit from being so easily thwarted, but in true Dash style, that wasn't going to get her down. "HA! I'm not going to fall for - Wait, what?" The pegasus was slightly dumb-founded. "Did you just say sorry?"

Gilda tried not to laugh from how confused the pegasus looked, and she mostly succeeded. She couldn't help a bit of a snicker, and when Dash glared, the gryphon lifted up her claws. "Hey, whoa. You just looked so confused there. Yea, I'm apologizing. I've been a real nag, and I know it. I realized it before, but I wasn't really tryin' to change or anything, ya know? But ... After what happened with Fluttershy, I'm not too hard up to admit I'm a real jackmule. I want to change that, but I can't." She settled down again, frowning, and tried her best to look sincere. "Not unless you let me, okay? So, I'm sorry. Sorry for calling you a flip-flop, sorry for getting so pissed at your friends, sorry for bullying Pinkie. And I'm ESPECIALLY sorry for telling you off when I was the one who deserved a nagging out." She looked down and to the side, considering if there was any more. " ... Oh yea. But I'm totally not sorry for saying Twilight was adorkable."

Rainbow listened as Gilda talked. The gryphon was surprised that she hadn't just cut her off. While that was a good sign, she really wished she knew what was going on in her old friend's head. Eventually, the pegasus smirked. "Yea. Twi is pretty adorkable. I'll give you another chance, Gilda, but if you buck it up this time, I swear-"

"If I buck it up this time," The gryphon cut her off. "I probably won't want to live anymore. Even if Fluttershy won't forgive me, I'm not about to walk out on you and Rarity. She's my friend, I guess. Are you?"

Rainbow Dash didn't even think twice. "Yea. I am, featherface. But I still think you should stay away from Fluttershy."

"C'mon, Dash, I-"

"HEY! EXCUSE ME!" A pegasus just about dropped out of the sky, and spread his wings just enough to not crash onto the ground. As it was, his landing was still fairly harsh. When the dust cleared, Gilda could only gape at the green coated, copper maned stallion that was brushing himself off. He had some saddle-bags over his back. "Uh, sorry. I was excited just to find you!"

"BOXCARS?!" Gilda's mind had only just kicked back into gear when she yelled out his name. "What're you doing here?!"

When his ears stopped ringing, the pegasus shook out the daze. "Uh, well, see ... I'm here about your book."

"My book. What, it was PUBLISHED?!"

"Aheh, not yet." He rubbed the back of his head with a sheepish grin. Dash just watched this exchange, more than a little perplexed.

"Then how the hay do you know about it?!" Gilda kept herself relatively cool on the outside, but on the inside, she panicked. "Oh man, did that mare at the desk read it?! Did she pass it out to her friends? OH MY FATHER ORION, IS EVERYONE IN MANEHATTEN LAUGHING AT ME?!"

"You gave it to one of my receptionists, remember?" Gilda's brain shut down again. "Uh ... Hello?" Boxcars waved a hoof in front of the gryphon's face. Eventually, she shook it off, and pushed his hoof away.

"You're - You're the guy who ... "

"Yea, I'm the guy who runs Paradise Publishing." At the extremely flat look both Dash and the avian gave him, he coughed and lowered his head. "Yea, uh ... I was young, okay? I kinda won the company in a game of poker, and didn't know what to call it."

"Soooo, lemme get this straight." Dash grinned over at Gilda, who very quickly gained a nervous expression. "You wrote a BOOK."

"Yea! It's not really that great right now, but with some editing it'll be amazing. I saw it on my desk, I saw your name in the cover, Gilda, and I just had to read it. It's full of mechanical errors, pacing problems, and some issues with sentence flow. But the characters are gripping, almost real! It's as if you were writing about yourself!"

"Yea, heh. That'd just be stu-" The gryphon was unfortunately cut off as Dash went for Boxcars's saddle-bags, and with a few protests from him, she managed to get said book free.

"Is that so? Let's see the dirt!" She flipped it open to a random page, and started reading. Gilda jumped at the pegasus, but she took to the air, then plopped down on top of the avian, pinning her.

"Gimme that, dweeb! Don't you dare read that!"

"Wow, fantasy, Gilda? You're a nerd?"

"Dash, I swear if you don't give me that book, I'll ... " Gilda started cursing up a storm, and Dash got very quiet. It took the gryphon a few moments, but she noticed how her old friend wasn't throwing insults back at her. "Hey! Are you paying attention to me?!"

The rainbow-maned pony closed the book, and tossed it to Boxcars. He fumbled with it, eventually catching it between his forehooves. "Okay, Gilda. Go on. Go see Fluttershy. I won't stop you. But you better not break her heart." The avian's cheeks went totally red as Rainbow Dash lifted off of her, and she just laid there for a moment, perfectly still. "Well? Go on! I'll keep your publisher buddy busy."

Gilda didn't need to be told twice.

The avian knocked on the door. She knew Fluttershy was in there, because she'd seen her run in. Trying to get away from Gilda. She'd had to steel herself to not cry just because of seeing that. The love of her life was terrified of her. But she'd fix that. She had to. She knocked, and knocked, and knocked. The door was never answered, though, and Gilda sighed heavily. "Fluttershy ... I know I hurt you. I'm sorry. I can't make up for what I did and said. I seriously want to punch myself in the face, but I think I punished myself enough last night with all that alcohol." She let off a humorless chuckle. This silence hurt a lot more than anything that happened last night, but the gryphon wouldn't say that. It'd just make Fluttershy feel worse. "I know you don't want to see me, but I think if I never said any of this, I'm not gonna be able to live with myself. So here goes." She took a deep breath, and sat on her haunches.

"When Dash started hanging out with you, I was jealous. I didn't want to share my friend with anyone else. But the more she hung out with you, the more I started to think you were my friend too. But ya know, I couldn't admit it. I was the most awesome thing to ever happen to the academy. Almost everyone respected me. Looked up to me. I couldn't be caught dead with a loser like you."

"So that's why I was your friend off the radar. I stood up for you when I could. I guess you noticed though, you were always the smartest of us three. You fell in love with me, didn't you? That's when, I bet. You told me too. I think that's when it happened. See, Fluttershy, I ... " Gilda couldn't stop the tears. they rolled down her cheeks and fell onto the Element of Kindness's doorstep. " ... I love you too. I was already crushing on you after a bit, I just didn't want to admit it. There was something about how nice you were to everyone, I guess. My exact opposite. That's what I liked about you. You were so nice, but so ... So ... So shy. Heh. I wanted to hold you, tell you everything would be alright when you were sad. But I was scared. I was too proud. I could only think about what others would think, and I ended up just convincing myself that I should care too much myself." She wiped her tears away on her wrist. She didn't even notice the door slowly and quietly opening.

"I guess what I'm getting at here is that I love you, Fluttershy. I love you. I'm not good at mushy stuff. I am when I write, I guess, but not when I talk. It's weird how that works. But yea. If ... If you want me to go away, leave you alone? I will. I just wanted to make sure you knew that I was sorry, and you knew how I felt. S-So ... " That was the first time Gilda had ever stuttered when she wasn't drunk. " ... Will you forgive me? I don't deserve it, but-" She lifted her head, and stopped short when she saw the pale-yellow pegasus standing in the now open doorway. Fluttershy stepped forward and wrapped her fore-legs around Gilda's neck, squeezing gently.

"I forgive you, Gilda. And I'm glad you feel the same way." Gilda slowly wrapped her own fore-legs around Fluttershy, closing her eyes and leaning her head onto the pegasus's neck. Fluttershy returned the favor. Gilda couldn't believe how soft Fluttershy's mane was. The avian gently dragged the hook of her beak through that long fur, preening it. She was crying, but she didn't care anymore. She didn't care what anyone thought.

"Yea ... So am I. If I missed out on you, I'd deserve anything I got." They remained in silence for what seemed like forever, but eventually, a carrot smacked the side of Gilda's head. She blinked and looked to the source. Fluttershy noticed her movement, and looked in the same direction. A rather peeved looking rabbit held up a stop-watch, and pointed into the house. "What's with the shrimp?"

"Oh! I'm sorry, Angel! I completely forgot about the soup! I hope it's not burned!" She rushed in, leaving Gilda on the doorstep. The avian hesitated, wondering if she could enter. Fluttershy leaped back into view in that same graceful manner she had in the kitchen, and that made Gilda smile. "I'm sorry, I didn't invite you in! ... If you want to come in, that is ... "

"Duh. Maybe this time I won't buck up so bad, too." She stepped in. "Oh, and Fluttershy?"

"Y-Yes, Gilda?"

"You're still a dweeb. Just my dweeb."

"I think I'm alright with that."

~~~

(Author's Note: I swear, 1000 Words from Final Fantasy X-2 came on when I was writing this last scene. The game had it's faults, but it's music was not one of them. This concludes this particular romance, and I'm going to leave the next pairing up to vote:

Mayor Mare and Big Mac, as I'm PRETTY sure was requested. One shot, straight up romance.

Zecora and Applebloom. I promise, no foalcon. This one is going to be pure comedy.

Any other pairing. I might turn down pairings that I find way too hard to do.

Gentlemen, put in your ballots.)

The Princess and the Knight

(Author's Note: Fair warning, this is NOT the chapter you're looking for! It's an old fic I wrote after learning that Lauren Faust stated Luna was possessed by something, rather than herself having been Nightmare Moon. This fic contains a song badly mangled by me to fit the situation and characters, and is sorta inspired by a picture The Weaver did. If you recognize the song, you get a cookie. Don't worry, I'm still working on revising Point of No Return, and the REAL next chapter of Dumb Luck will be out when I'm done. Cheers.

Oh yea. This contains very small amounts of TwiLestia. It's not canon to the rest of Dumb Luck. So nyah.)

~~~

Once upon a time, there was a princess. She was graceful and lovely, but shy and hesitant. She had not many friends, but she had one: A knight of auburn body and red hair. She was the opposite of the princess in many ways. Brash and overbearing, clumsy and quick tempered.

She protected her princess from any slight quite forcefully, real or imagined, and she had no friends herself because of this. But they needed no other friends. Both would stargaze night after night, the princess telling the knight things about those stars that she'd never considered. Even for such an impatient person, the knight was fascinated with it all. They were fast friends, and they were happy for a time.

Then, one day, there came a beast, a cruel and wicked monster who kidnapped the princess and laid waste to her armies, locking her away in his castle. The knight, who had been on a mission to another land, arrived back to find what had happened. Enraged, and filled with nothing but the desire to avenge and rescue her princess, the knight charged into battle with her sword and shield.

Facing the beast's entire army, she cut a path through them. Even when heavily wounded, and surrounded, she called on the power of those stars themselves she had loved so dearly to support her. And the beast watched with astonishment as a single knight destroyed his ranks utterly, and stood before his throne. The beast, however, was a match for an army himself and attacked, the knight unable to do anything but call on that night sky fully, knowing it would be her last wish.

The beast fled, vanquished, and the princess freed, but the latter gasped in horror at what her friend had done to herself....

Instead of her beautiful auburn, her body was a pitch black. Her eyes, once conveying love, were featureless orbs. Her hair, the brilliant yellow and red that symbolized her passion for justice and honor, was now turned cold, seemingly made from the night sky itself. The princess wept at her foolishness for allowing her friend to do such a thing, but the knight took her chin and spoke softly. Her last words that would convey emotion: "You have not failed me. I have failed myself. I beg of you, my princess, relieve me from my duty, for I am now but a shell, nothing of me remains."

The princess did as she asked, but not fully. She took the power of the night back to herself, but also her friend's mind, which remained there.

And so the knight and the princess became one. For better ... And for worse.

"Now get to bed, Dawn. You have school in the morning! I bet you can't wait to wake up and see what you learn." The little unicorn gave her mother a flat look, something that Twilight didn't notice in the slightest, as she was putting the book she'd been reading to her on the shelf.

"But mama, I don't like stories with sad endings. Can't you please read me another one?" Dawn wiggled out of the blankets to sit up. Twilight gave off a sigh and walked back to her daughter's side. She knew how to deal with the foal's resistence to sleep. When Dawn saw the brush, she squeaked and tried to dive under the sun-motifed covers of her bed, but she found herself caught in her mother's magic nonetheless, and raised up.

Twilight couldn't help but smile again at Dawn's mischief. As she ran a brush through the lavender highlights of the filly's mainly pink mane, she responded. "It did have a happy ending, Dawn. Doesn't Princess Luna seem very glad to be free and ruling again?"

"I guess," the white unicorn responded, feeling drowsy from the brushing. It got her every time. "But she still looks sad sometimes, when she thinks you aren't looking."

Twilight's own expression became sad at that, though Dawn couldn't see. It was true. It had been more than 60 years since that night, when the Elements of Harmony had destroyed Nightmare Moon. Was Luna still guilty about it? Twilight doubted it. She had resolved what she had done as Nightmare Moon with Equestria and herself. But there must be something that clearly was bothering the moon princess. "I'm sure she'll feel better soon, Dawn." Not hearing a response, the Element of Magic smiled gently and laid the little one down in her bed, covering her up. Kissing Dawn on the forehead, Twilight whispered, "Sweet dreams," and went for the door quietly. She wasn't feeling tired herself, so it was time to stargaze. And, perhaps, to speak to Luna about her woes. If she would.

"We heard thy call, Twilight," The princess's voice spake from the library's landing. Twilight sat under it with a telescope set up, an eye all but glued to the view-port. She didn't respond to Luna, and the goddess of the night smirked. "Thou are old, but not aging. We know thou hast heard mine voice, Twilight."

While Luna had been mistaken about her hearing the first statement, Twilight had heard the second, and the unicorn jumped a little. She looked frantically to a window, then up to Luna. "Please, princess, not so loud. Dawn is asleep." Luna nodded, and spread her wings, allowing herself to fall from the landing to glide down beside the smaller pony. Twilight rose with a smile and brushed her neck to Luna's, a gesture the princess returned only hesitantly.

"Why didst thou call? It is late, Twilight, and while we deeply appreciate thy love of our night, surely thou must be tired."

"Princess, something's bothering you, and I really want to help." Twilight was forced to step a bit to the side as Luna pulled back from her with a frown.

"There is nothing."

"Please, your highness, there's no need to hide it. I just want to help."

"We hath nothing to conceal, Twilight," the alicorn replied venomously, causing Twilight to shrink back a bit. "Remember that while thou mayst be immortal due to thine Element, thou art still a subject of Equestria, and we do not enjoy being questioned by our subjects."

Luna didn't like the sad, scolded look the unicorn wore now, and felt guilty at having been the one to put that expression on her face. But royalty must never back down from their words or decision. Twilight, for her part, knew Luna was simply protecting herself. Even if that was unnecessary. "Yes, your highness. Are you going tonight?"

The princess started, her eyes going wide. "G-Going where?"

"To the moon. I've seen you flying to it through my telescope, sometimes." Luna hesitated, then sighed heavily. She might have guessed Twilight had been paying attention. She always was, even if it didn't feel like it.

"Yes, we are going there tonight."

"Forgive me for saying this, but you spent a thousand years there. Why do you go every week?" Twilight was right to be confused. But there was a difference between being trapped there, and going there willingly. Luna loved her moon, even if there was not much there to see. Not much except ...

"It is peaceful, and hath a wonderful view of Equestria from its surface." Luna managed to keep a straight smile on her face, though she left out her true reasons. "Mayhaps, one day, we shall bring thee to it and allow thee to see for thyself."

"It would be pretty hard for me to breath up there, wouldn't it?"

"There are spells for that," Luna replied, not able to help but chuckle. "Now, get thee to sleep. Our sister wishes to see thee in the morning, and it will not do for thou to be nodding off when she visits." Twilight blushed and couldn't stop a flutter in her heart. It had taken almost 5 decades for all the backed up work to be finished, but thanks to the combined efforts of the royal sisters, both princesses had far more free time. That fact was something Twilight was thankful for. She looked up to Dawn's window with a peaceful smile. Very thankful for.

"Of course, Princess. Have a nice night, and try to stay warm up there." Twilight disassembled the telescope, packed it away, and trotted inside as Luna took wing, soaring up into the deep darkness of the night sky.

The moon's surface is very rolling, full of large craters, cliffs, and crevaces. As always, Luna was careful flying over it. Even as a goddess, she could be hurt badly, and being forced to spend months on the moon healing from broken bones was not her idea of fun. That wasn't to say such an accident was likely. Luna shaped the moon herself, and knew every inch of it by heart. It had just so happened that meteorites marred it's lovely surface now and then, and Luna was not always aware of all the changes. She was also not fond of the idea of one of those rocks finding her back or wingspan as she flew, regardless of how unlikely that occurence was. As soon as she was in walking distance of her destination, she was all too happy to land and walk.

It was slow going. Each step was more like a hop, and each step must be calculated, carefully made. Dust covered rocks, and sometimes ground was far more uneven than it seemed. On the positive side of things, this manner of movement was very graceful and fluid, something Luna was very proud of. She'd never quite been as much of either as her sister on Equestria, but here? Here she was more so. She could enjoy being better than her sister at one more thing, a pleasure she was not often allowed.

It is not to be surmised that Luna did not love her sister. Of course she did. She had ruled for thousands of years with her sister, and she would rule with her not for all eternity. That created bonds of love that most creatures could not even begin to fathom in their miniscule lifetimes. Her sister made her happy in so many ways, and that there were now six more ponies to join them in eternity made Luna even more happy.

But Celestia was the older sister, and that always brings resentment to any pair of siblings. Celestia was more graceful, more socially able, more powerful. More beautiful, too, or so Luna believed. It was easy to be jealous of her.

Far too easy, as Luna realized with a shudder. She pulled her mind away from those thoughts. They did not nearly have the power or backing they once had, and she was glad of that. And yet, still, such thoughts always made her flinch from herself in fear, the fear that she may have a relapse. That was impossible, but it didn't stop the irrational parts of her mind from screaming those warnings when they could.

Luna had no more time to think about that, anyway. The moon princess had arrived. There was a small house there, fashioned from the dust and rock that made up the surface of the moon. Magic had shaped it, but not her own magic. She took a deep breath, though there was no air there to fill her lungs. She had prepared herself for this. A new rhyme, one that the occupant was not prepared for. It was simple, short, but profound, she wished to believe. The goddess of the night was sure that this time, she could get through to her. When she sang, it was driven by magic, as no sound could carry here without it.

"Thou knowst my love thee will beget,

As fair as love can be.

My only pain has been regret,

And still here thou will see.

I will turn into a Nightingale,

My song will warm thy heart."

Luna faltered as she was cut off by a response from inside the home, cold and arrogant.

"Then I'll turn into a threshing machine,

And tear thy bird apart."

The princess could not help but be shocked. Somehow, her quarry had already improvised. She had never done that before. No one had ever accused the pony of being bright. However, Luna couldn't falter. She would not fail this time. A few slow leaping steps brought her to the door of the cottage, though her hoof hesitated before it pushed open the entrance. She tried to calm herself by coming up with a response. It was weak, but it was something.

"I will turn into a vampire,

And kiss thee on the neck."

The response was almost immediate, and now had an amused quality to it.

"Well, I'll turn into a silver cross,

And send you back to heck."

Was she mocking her? Luna felt a slight surge of anger, and pushed the door open. In the middle of the cottage stood a pony with her back to the princess. A tall, black unicorn, her mane mere wisps of deep blue, lights sparkling within it as they appeared and disappeared. On her flanks were the mark of a sword set behind a yellow shield shaped like a five pointed star. The sight of her took away that anger, replacing it with different emotions.

Pain.

Sadness.

Fear.

Love.

She would not let her adversary get the best of her. Never again. Before the moon princess could continue, however, another line came from from the mouth of the black pony.

"Then I'll turn into a fairelight bomb,

And atomize the air."

The anger returned to Luna's mind, and she forgot her original intentions, singing herself:

"Then I'll turn into a cockroach,

Thou shall see if I care!"

She hadn't thought that one through. Luna thought she would soon be mocked for the oversight, but the response that came was far more stinging, far more vicious, and the sheer joy it was delivered with only made it hurt all the more.

"I'll just turn into a supernova,

And burn up everything."

It was no longer about pleading with the pony in front of her. The moon princess stormed up as close to the star-filled tail as she dared, and practically screamed:

"Then I shall turn into a small black hole,

And thou shall become string!"

Only silence came after. Had her opponent failed? Luna slowly smirked in triumph as time passed, but that thrill didn't last. It couldn't. The adrenaline from her anger wore off, and the goddess of the night was left with shock at herself. She bowed her head, and tried to hold back tears, fighting with her mind to formulate something that could make up for her aggressiveness.

"I will turn to Diana herself,

And thou shall come to me."

Once again, silence reigned, and Luna slipped her front-right hoof back to begin a slow retreat when the response came. It was no longer haughty, but it was still so cold it sent a chill down the alicorn's spine.

"Well, I will not listen to her,

And then where will you be?"

The dark-blue coated pony couldn't help but let her tears fall. Right now, she just wanted to run, to fly away. To never come back. But she couldn't bring herself to. Luna was as much a prisoner as this pony was, just a prisoner of heart and mind instead of body. She choked out a reply as best she could, though it became more of a plea.

"For thou, I'd part the sky and sea,

Would that forgiveness bring?"

"I'd only scoff and shake my head,

That wouldn't prove a thing."

Luna's tears stang her eyes, soaked her cheeks. It took her far too long to speak again. "Starshield, why? Why must thou do this thing?" Luna didn't notice the unicorn's smile, nor the ethereal mass of mane and tail slipping behind her. "I hath loved thee before, and thou hath loved me. I know, it is mine own fault our love was destroyed, mine own fault that I did not fufill thy dying wish!" She shuddered, barely able to continue through choked sobs. "But I am so deeply sorry, can thou simply not forgive me? Can it not be as it was?"

She gasped as she was suddenly scooped up by the starry-wall formed behind her, and the unicorn turned, deep black eyes gazing down at the princess. For a moment, Luna was terrified, truly believing that she would be possessed again, and this time against her will. The alicorn demanded from herself an answer to why she hadn't listened to her older sister, why had she come here, but was cut off as she felt her head pressed up to the other mare's chest.

"Your mind is dull, this isn't right.

Use your ears, they're still true.

See, you're the princess, I'm the knight.

It's my task to woo you."

Tears were wiped from the moon princess's eyes with that mane, and for a while, all she could do was cry into Starshield's chest. Silence once again reigned, for a while, and the two found themselves on the floor, laying beside each other. Luna's neck laid against the black unicorn's chest, and Starshield's own over the princesses. It seemed like hours they simply laid there in silence. Luna could barely believe what had been said, what had happened. Eventually, however, she regained her senses enough. "Thou made a mistake." Starshield cocked her head to one side curiously, a brow raised. "The first and third lines are not to rhyme."

"Just shut up and kiss me."

Some stories don't have a happy ending. Some are sad, some are bitter-sweet. But stories of princesses should always end with the words 'happily ever after', and this one will not be an exception.

And so, they all lived happily ever after.

Filly Love

(Author's note: This chapter contains a horrible, horrible joke. If you're offended by it, I'm sorry. I couldn't help myself. You'll know it when you get there.)

So, lemme get this straight," Rainbow Dash tried to choke back further laughter to continue. "So Zecora is in the clinic right now because Applebloom's got a crush on her? You gotta explain this one!" The pegasus was sitting at a table in the Apple Family's barn, her friends sitting at the table with her. This little gathering was supposed to only be a friend's-night-in at the Apple Family HOUSE, but Pinkie had, of course, insisted it get all the party trimmings. Applejack wasn't willing to subject her home to the kind of chaos that could sometimes come with a Pinkie Pie Party, so she elected the barn as a martyr to the cause.

"Yup, and this one's a story and a half! Ya'll're gonna love it." Applejack waited for the rest of them to stop laughing. This was a once in a lifetime tale, the kind you tell your kids, and then your grandkids, and so on and so forth. The farm-mare wanted everyone to hear this.

"Hey, Flutterklutz, you okay?" Gilda wiped a tear from the corner of her right eye, catching her breath.

Fluttershy wilted a bit, looking down, to the side. "It's just... This doesn't seem very funny to me. Zecora is hurt..." Gilda tried not to express how happy she was that the zebra was incapacitated, and just gave her fillyfriend a squeeze.

"Hey, Hey, it's cool. She's not, like, dying or anything. We'll all laugh about it later anyway!" Gilda grinned at Fluttershy, but that grin faded as the pony sighed. "Aww, c'mon..."

"Don't you worry, Fluttershy, it's nothin' serious. She's jus' bruised and stressed out, is all," Applejack reassured her meek friend. "She'll be right as rain in a few days. 'Sides, I'm sure she gits how silly she's been about this, and she'll be laughin' right along with us soon enough." That got Fluttershy to smile. When they heard a throat clearing, they all looked over to a very confused Twilight.

"I'm feeling kinda left out here, girls. What's so funny about this? I don't get it. Zecora is hurt, and we're laughing about it? I agree with Fluttershy. That's wrong." She folded her fore-legs with a stern look, making Applejack and Dash wince. The cyan pegasus poked Twilight with a hoof.

"C'mon, Twi. Give it a chance. You know Applejack, she wouldn't be laughing about this if it was that bad."

"Well, I guess not, but-"

"Nah ah, egghead, no buts here. Unless it's yours, then I'm cool with that." Twilight blinked for a second, clearly not understanding the innuendo, causing Dash to facehoof.

"Twilight, she means your flanks!" Pinkie helpfully shouted out. Pinkie didn't know the meaning of 'indoor voice'. Or she did and just didn't care. Either one was equally plausible with her. Twilight Sparkle flushed a dark purple in her cheeks and lowered her head, her ears flattening to her skull out of embarrassment.

"Oh..." That sent up a new chorus of laughter, one Rainbow didn't join in this time. She just hugged her mare, and smirked.

"My wife, the most adorkable pony in existence. Okay, AJ. You were sayin'?" Applejack nodded and leaned back against a bale of hay, beginning to spin her tale.

Now, le's git one thing straight here. Ah gotta lot of respect for Zecora, past misunderstandin's aside. She's a very wise mare, and a big help ta Ponyville, with her remedies and such. But Ah guess everypony's got their weaknesses, and no matter how wise ya are, yer always gonna run into some problem ya don't know how ta deal with. Zecora met her match with a little somethin' we call... Filly love. Ya know the story, a foal gits a big crush on somepony, and is totally convinced that they're gonna be together forever, no matter how ridiculous it is. Then a week or so later, they plumb forgit about that and go after someone else.

Well, apparently, zebras don't git that kinda thing. So when Applebloom trotted into her hut and announced that she was gonna marry Zecora, the poor mare thought she was completely serious! Well, she WAS serious, jus'... Ya know. So Zecora tried to explain why it wouldn't work. "Applebloom, this cannot be. You are, by far, too young for me." Applebloom is a clever little filly, don't let anyone tell ya otherwise. She jus' gits a little over-eager sometimes. And when she gits her mind set to somethin', she won't let nopony tell her otherwise. ... Rarity, you can stop givin' me that look.

Anyway, so Applebloom wasn't gonna be put out by that, so she told Zecora, "Well, Ah'm gonna make a potion that'll make me old enough!" And she started pullin' books off the shelves ta find somethin'. Zecora was about beside herself. She didn't know what ta do, which is pretty funny, considerin' she has to deal with my little sister on a regular basis. Zecora started shelving books as fast as Applebloom could take 'em down, but the filly didn't even notice! She jus' found a growth potion in one of the books. Zecora managed ta git it away from her, but by that time Applebloom didn't need it no more, or so she thought. She hopped up on a table, grabbed a few ingredients from Zecora's stores, and then started gittin' ta work.

She about got that brew goin' before Zecora put a stop ta that foolishness! She got Applebloom by the tail and put her outside. Gave her a good scoldin'. Poor little filly got all sulky and went on her way, and Zecora? Well, she still thought she had a problem. She was right, but not the kinda problem she thought. See, Applebloom got those ingredients together, but they were the wrong ones. That cauldron was jus' a bubblin', and Zecora just managed to slam the door and wipe sweat off her brow before she noticed.

And then it exploded.

"Oh, that's positively dreadful!" Rarity dramatically swept a forehoof up to her head.

Fluttershy nodded. "That's not funny at all... I-I mean... It isn't to me..." The pegasus looked up to Gilda, who shrugged, then to Applejack. "She must be badly hurt...!"

"Huh? What? Naw, Fluttershy, it didn't hurt her at all. Lemme finish, now!"

See, when that brew exploded, Ah didn't mean like with fire. No, it exploded with COLOR. Zecora found herself a lot more flashy than she was a few seconds ago. All of her stripes turned different colors, and-

"Oh yea! I remember that! When she came into town I was all like, GASP! You're like a rainbow zebra! You need a new name!" Pinkie enthusiastically waved her fore-legs in the air. "I said her name should be Fruit Stripe because all the colors reminded me of fruits but she didn't like it. So I said, don't worry, it won't last long anyway and she just gave me this look and walked off! I think she was mad but I dunno why! And then I-"

Applejack stuffed a hoof against Pinkie's Muzzle. "Hey, who's tellin' this story, you or me?"

"Sorry, Applejack," Pinkie said with an embarrassed grin. "I just got a little excited."

"Ah forgive ya, Pinkie, but lemme keep talkin'."

Where was I? Oh yea. Now, Zecora was all kinds of mad about her stripes, but she didn't figure she had time to think up somethin' ta do away with that. Naw, she wanted to git to talkin' ta Big Mac. Well, that was too bad, since Big Mac had to go to Halter's Way to deliver some apples out there, and he was runnin' a little late comin' back. Somethin' about a pie eatin' contest. But anyway, Ah was the only one around. This is pretty important, since it meant that Zecora got scared. Ah'll be honest, sure, I can have a temper sometimes when it involves my little sister. But would Ah really bite her head off or somethin'? Apparently, she thought so. So she was standing there on the edge of the orchard, watchin' me buck apples, tryin' ta think of what ta do. Now, Ah thought this was more than jus' a little creepy, and... Now, this is the good part.

Ah thought Zecora was watchin' me because she had a crush on me or somethin'. So we're jus' started a parade of crazy here. Yea, yea, cut it up, gryphon. Anypony woulda made that mistake! So, Ah did a few more trees, tryin' ta ignore her, until Ah couldn't take it no more, and Ah went up to her. Ah looked a little mad, Ah'm sure, and that jus' made things worse. But hay, she was watchin' me fer ten minutes straight! She backed up a little, but Ah wasn't havin' none of her runnin' away! Ah asked her, "What's the big idea, stalkin' me like that?" Well, she explained herself, and Ah thought it was the cutest thing. Ah mean, it's jus' filly love. Ain't no big deal! But she thought it was one, so Ah tried to explain to her that it was just a harmless crush, and she wasn't really gonna git married.

Zecora was relieved, but she said ta me, "Please do not think of me as weepy, but I find her affection slightly creepy." Well, okay, Ah guess Ah could git that. Culture shock and all. Ah told her Ah'd talk ta Applebloom and git her ta lay off, but Ah had to finish up my work first. My first mistake was assumin' Ah could talk Applebloom outta anythin'. My second mistake was leavin' Zecora there when Applebloom coulda been home at any moment. Come ta think of it, Ah dunno what was wrong with me at that point. Ah guess Ah jus' thought she was bein' a little silly and she should jus' deal with it. So Ah went back to my buckin'. That's when Ah heard it.

"CUTIE MARK CRUSADER ELOPERS, YAY!"

"Oh my Celestia. That's... That's awesome." Dash cracked up, and even Fluttershy had to stiffle a giggle. Twilight smiled widely, and rolled her eyes.

"Those fillies are going to be the death of us one day. But they're so cute!" Twilight leaned onto the rainbow pegasus, who was attempting to recover from her bout of chortling. "You know, maybe we should think about foals, Dash..." That got Rainbow to stop laughing real quick, and it was her turn for her cheeks to turn deep red. Gilda shot a cat call her way, and the pegasus glared in return.

As Ah was sayin', the Cutie Mark Crusaders jus' popped out from around a tree, and rushed right up to Zecora. Ah coulda sworn those three weren't anywhere around Sweet Apple Acres, but they're always up ta somethin', so Ah can't rightly say. Now, Zecora was startled and she went for cover, but in the process, she smacked right into a tree that Ah hadn't got to yet. Good thing too, since it had a bee's nest in it. And they weren't too happy about bein' disturbed. So the Cutie Mark Crusaders high-tailed it for cover, forgittin' about their plan to foalnap a zebra, and Zecora took off for the barn, lickety sizzle.

Now, ya heard that yer supposed to run to a pond, or lake, or somethin' when ya got bees chasin' ya? Well, Ah yelled out for Zecora to try ta make it to the creek that runs next ta our orchard-

"Actually, depending on the variety of bees, they might just wait for you to come up for air. The killer bee, for instance, will swarm for hours over the spot that you dove into. This shouldn't imply intelligence on their part, they're merely angry and will continue to swarm and - Wh-What? Why are you all staring at me...? D-Did I say something wrong?" Fluttershy started to fidget, blushing as she hid behind her mane. "I... I just thought you should know. Bee swarms can... Can be very dangerous..." Gilda put a claw slowly over her own chest, as if expecting a heart attack any moment now.

"Ah didn't know that, Fluttershy. Thank ya. But please, don't interrupt." Applejack gave her a patient smile, before continuing.

So, Ah told her ta go fer the creek. But she went the opposite way, runnin' as fast as her legs could take her. Ah knew Ah had ta do somethin' about them bees, but Ah didn't know what. Ah chased after Zecora ta try and help her, but the Crusaders got there first. Applebloom kinda figured that what she heard about bees and water jus' meant bees hate water. Which is why she had a bucket of water, and why she tossed that water out of the bucket and drenched Zecora.

Funny thing is, that saved her from a lotta pain. She couldn't see where she was headin' due to, well, bein' splashed with water, and she tripped over a hoe somepony, Ah'm guessin' Granny Smith, left out. It smacked her right in the face, and she got all dizzy and tripped into the house's cellar, right through the door. One of Zecora's hooves caught on the latch and it slammed shut jus' before the bees got in there with her.

Now, after Ah got the pest spray and dealt with the bees... Don't worry, Fluttershy, it was jus' a special formula ta knock 'em all silly, Ah didn't hurt 'em... I went down ta check on Zecora. She got knocked silly, and had a big purple bruise on her forehead, but she was fine otherwise. Ah asked her, and Ah swear, this is the truth, and Ah swear, Ah ain't specist or nothin'. Ah asked her, "Zecora, why didn't ya jus' go fer the creek like Ah said?" She gave me the flattest look Ah've ever seen, even from you, Twilight, and she said, "I did not avoid it on a whim, the truth is: I cannot swim." And Ah tell you what. Celestia forgive me, Ah laughed. Ah fell down right there, and I started laughin' so hard Ah couldn't breath.

Rarity's jaw dropped, and she gave Applejack an incredulous stare for a few moments. Applejack blinked, and tilted her head to one side. "What?"

"Applejack! How could you! That's terrible!"

"Hey now, tain't my fault! It was funny, Ah couldn't help myself. Besides, Ah saw you try not to laugh jus' now!" Rarity's face went red.

"That is simply not true! I would never chuckle at such a base jest!" She turned her nose up, closed her eyes, and hmphed. Gilda raised a brow, then grinned. She leaned a little closer to Rarity, putting a talon to her beak to let everyone know not to give her away. The gryphon slipped her head just behind Rarity's ear and made a buzzing sound. Rarity jumped up with a squeal, and dashed into a pile of hay, shouting, "OH MY STARS, THE BEES ARE BACK!" Pinkie blinked, then fell onto her back, giggling and snorting. Gilda and Dash gave each other a high five, but both instantly shrunk back at the glare Fluttershy gave them.

"That wasn't nice, Gilda. You should apologize to Rarity."

Sulking like a scolded child, Gilda called out, "There's no bees here. It was a prank. Sorry."

"You don't sound like you mean it, young lady!"

"... I'm really sorry, Rarity."

"That's better." Fluttershy smiled again, and Rarity slunk out of the pile, wiping herself off and trying to look all the world like nothing happened.

After Ah made sure Zecora was a-okay, she went back home. Now, Ah didn't know quite what she was planning at the time, Ah jus' figured she wanted to lay down and rest after that nasty knock on the noggin. But as we all know, that wasn't what happened at all, no sir. Zecora was makin' a brew, and she was tryin' ta make it quick, fast, and in a hurry. Course, she was used ta havin' ta hurry with one concoction or the other, but the problem is, when she's doin' that, she needs complete quiet for her concentration. Unlucky for her, Applebloom managed to sneak past me and get outta Sweet Apple Acres.

Now Applebloom didn't mean any harm, ya'll know that. She jus' wanted to make sure Zecora was okay. She felt real guilty about the whole thing. Honestly, I'd take a hoe to the head than a swarm of bees any day, but whatever floats her boat. So, Applebloom went off to Zecora's hut ta apologize and probably dote on her a lot, which wouldn't really have helped the situation any. And it didn't, cuz when she barged in and yelled out, fulla tears, that she was sorry, Zecora accidentally dropped an entire bottle of the stuff she was puttin' into her cauldron. It didn't explode this time. Nah, this time the cauldron flipped upside down and rocketed through the ceiling, spilling it's contents all the way from Ponyville to Phillydelphia. What was in it, ya may be askin'? Well, that cauldron was full of an anti-love potion. Yea, we remember that day.

"I'm still saying sorry for it," Gilda grumbled, folding her arms angrily. "This is why that zebra shouldn't be mixing stuff so close to Ponyville."

Twilight sighed and shook her head. "Gilda, I know gryphons and zebras don't get along, but that's a little much. She lives in the Everfree Forest! What else do you want her to do, build a dome around her house?"

"Could we lock it aft-" Gilda immediately stopped when all present glared at her, and she raised her claws. "Shutting up."

Gilda, don't be a bully. Anyhow, so as ya might expect, Zecora was madder than a hornet. She gave Applebloom a BIG talkin' to, and it wasn't nice either. Applebloom ran away cryin', and Zecora just sat there and stewed for a bit. Course, she thought the brew worked anyway. Ah mean, how could Applebloom have avoided that? Well, pretty easily. As it turns out, Applebloom hid under a table jus' as soon as she saw Zecora drop something in there. She took off fer home, and the poor foal got to see me and Big Mac git into a little argument, which got bigger as she tried to tell us what happened with Zecora. When he bucked me good right in front of her, She froze up a bit. Big Mac never hit nopony, ever. When she tried to help me up, I yelled at her to go inside. She did... And immediately got chased out by Granny Smith, who thought she was a varmint after her pies.

So Applebloom headed straight to Ponyville, and Ah wish she hadn't. Place was terrible about that time, almost as bad as that one time Twilight did her magic stuff on that doll. Nah, don't apologize, sugarcube. We all forgave ya a long time ago. Anyhow, everypony was arguin' with everypony else, and Applebloom didn't know what ta do. The only pony she knew that could fix things like this was mad at her, so she decided to try and fix it herself.

Applebloom ain't the best mediator, though. First pair she tried to help was Bon Bon and Lyra, but that jus' got too weird for her. They were arguin' 'bout how Bon Bon always seems to make too much food on purpose, almost like she was tryin' ta git Lyra fat. The less said about her motivations, the better, Ah say. That devolved pretty quick into a shoutin' match about how Lyra sits. Applebloom cut in ta say she really didn't understand how someone sittin' different could annoy someone that much, and they both told her ta mind her own business. Soon as my little sister said she wanted ta help, they got kinda nasty about it. Talkin' 'bout how the Cutie Mark Crusaders are always breaking things and never helpin' much of anypony. Ah guess that kinda hit home for Applebloom, cuz she's been real quiet about that, lately.

Next pair was Twi and Dash. Twi was mad that Dash kept usin' a window instead of a door, and RD said it drove her crazy how Twilight stayed inside and read all the time instead of going out and doing something fun with her. Now Applebloom heard the best way to solve an argument is mediation, but she didn't really git the application of it quite right. She suggested that Twilight try leaving through the window, and Rainbow Dash stay inside and read fer a day. Now, Ah don't got ta tell you fillies why those ideas are silly. Twilight pointed out how dumb that sounded, only ta git interrupted by Dash who complained that all ideas sound stupid to her. Twi came back with how all of Dash's ideas are dumb and so is she, and how everything has to be her way. Applebloom made herself scarce.

Last ones she came to were those two little toublemakers, Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon. Now, Ah git the feeling Applebloom jus' wanted ta start somethin' with them, teach 'em a lesson, but some things never change. Soon as she interrupted, the two of 'em ganged up on her instead. My little sister really shoulda seen that comin'. What she didn't see comin' was Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo joining in to scold her for not gettin' them their cutie marks soon enough. Applebloom couldn't help but argue back at this point herself, and told Scootaloo just how stupid her "Cutie Mark Crusaders Train Conductors" idea was. Tiara made some kinda backhanded comment about how all of their ideas are complete disasters, and nopony likes them, and Sweetie Belle, of all fillies, lost it and jumped the little brat. Scootaloo joined in, of course, and Applebloom just about did as well when she noticed somethin' terrible.

See, everypony saw the foals gettin' into it with each other, and things started gettin' worse. Arguin' turned to fightin', fightin' turned to wrasslin', and soon enough all of Ponyville was in a big tussle. A full blown riot, almost. Applebloom knew she had ta do somethin', since she was the only one not affected by the potion accident, and she got a megaphone from Town Hall and climbed right up on top of it. Everypony stopped fightin' real quick when Applebloom yelled, "STOOOOP!" through that thing loud as she could.

"Good thing, too," Dash spoke up, rubbing her chest with a wince. "Twilight might not look like much, but her magic packs a punch."

Rarity's eyes widened. "Oh my, the two of you had a physical altercation? That can't be good for the relationship!"

"Rarity, don't do this." Twilight sighed as she glanced over to the group's other unicorn.

"Do what, dear?"

"You keep over-dramatizing everything."

"I do nothing of the sort!" Rarity retorted with a toss of her hair. "My reactions are always completely appropriate for the situation."

"Worst. Possible. Thing." Twilight deadpanned, eliciting a snicker from Applejack.

"Why... That is one occasion! Surely you wouldn't judge from-"

"You defeated a group of kidnappers with horribly overblown whining!" Twilight leaned out of the chair with a smirk, her fore-hooves resting on the table. "I mean, it was pretty genius of you, but come on, Rarity! If you told ponies your special talent was melodrama, everypony would take it at face value!"

"Well, I never," huffed Rarity, scrunching up her face in a rather hilarious indignant expression. "Perhaps I sometimes react with a slight flair, but I think everypony can agree that I perfectly sum up a situation with my emotional expression!"

"Sure ya do, sugarcube. Especially if that situation is, heaven forbid, slightly annoyin'!" Applejack grinned as she teased, then let the unicorn sulk as she got on with the story.

So, after everypony got over their ears ringin', Applebloom started talkin', "Listen up, all ya'll! Now Ah understand that yer all mad at each other, and Ah understand yer gettin' on each other's nerves somethin' fierce, but ya can't just stand around and argue! That won't solve nothin'!" Applebloom took a deep breath, then a big look around. She was pretty darn surprised everyone listened ta her, but she wasn't about ta look a gift apple in the core. "Small problems git bigger, and when we feel like we can't take it anymore, it's easy ta start fightin'. Sometimes, that's good because if we never fought, those little things would jus' bottle up and get worse and worse. But we can't ever let that git outta hoof, 'cuz now lookatcha!"

Every pony in that crowd looked down at the ground, but then they looked at each other and all of 'em started arguin' again. Pretty soon they were almost ta blows again, and Applebloom hung her head. She didn't think she could do anythin' right at that point, but that feelin'? That's what saved the day, right there. She lifted her head with a determined glare, and shouted again. "HEY! STOP THAT THIS INSTANT! Listen, Ah'm not done yet!" Kinda hard ta ignore someone yellin' through a megaphone. For our hearin's sake, Ah'm jus' glad it wasn't Sweetie Belle. Fillie's louder than a fog-horn on a foggy day. "Everypony has some kinda thing that others find annoyin'. We have to deal with those things every day, and sometimes, it can git a little grating. Trust me, Ah know! I don't always git along with my friends either."

Zecora was in the crowd herself, havin' come ta town ta git somethin' she needed for an antidote, and she told me she felt real ashamed of herself at that point. "And sometimes," Applebloom started to speak a little quieter, knowin' what she was gettin' to was about her jus' as much as anyone else, especially that day! "Sometimes we're the ones bein' annoyin', we jus' don't notice it or want to admit it, 'cuz we're too busy thinkin' about what we want. Or maybe we jus' don't think before we act, like we really should. Maybe we even make a big deal outta nothin', jus' because it's extra annoyin'." There was a lot of ponies in that crowd that could only look sheepishly at who they were arguin' with. They all knew they were bein' silly anyhow, they jus' needed someone ta tell them. "When ya can't git an argument ta calm down, the best thing ya'll can do is ta take a deep breath and walk away. Jus' come back later, talk about it when ya can be more nice about it. Try ta think about what you did wrong yerself, too, 'cuz nopony's perfect. So all of ya need to jus' go yer separate ways fer now, and when yer all calmed down, then apologize ta each other, and talk it out."

And they did. Ah'll admit, Ah've never been more proud of that foal, and Ah think she saved Ponyville that day from a fight that mighta leveled the place. As the crowd all took her advice, she tried to come down from the roof, but a hoof of hers slipped and she fell. Lucky that Zecora was there to catch her. Applebloom hung her head and shuffled her hooves in the dirt, embarrassed for herself, and she said, "Ah'm sorry Zecora, real sorry. Ah've been causin' trouble fer ya all day, and Ah was bein' too self-absorbed ta notice it."

Zecora jus' smiled and lifted my little sister's chin, and she came back with, "Ah, but if I had not been so silly, then Ponyville would not have become so willy-nilly. I do find your love a bit disturbing, but for you to be so sad is more perturbing. I shall say sorry, and hope you forgive, and of your crush not worry, and with it I'll live."

Applebloom did forgive her, of course, but only on the condition Zecora forgive her back. And that's the end of that.

"Took us long enough to get through that," Dash complained. "We almost don't have time for me to tell you about these awesome new tricks!"

Applejack glared at her. "Well, if SOMEPONY didn't keep interrupting me the whole time..."

Twilight held up a hoof. "Hey! We're all guilty of interrupting you, so don't get mad. I mean, it's a pretty small thing, riiight?" She gave the earth pony a wink, and Applejack blinked, then chuckled in return.

"Right. Done forgot the moral of my story already. So, le's hear about these tricks, Dash..."

"Eh... Nevermind. I guess I still have a long way to go for this humility thing." She yawned widely, then stretched out her hooves and wings. "I'm tired anyway. Maybe we should call it a night."

Rarity nodded in agreement. "I concur. There will always be time tomorrow for us to talk. Goodnight, all, and have wonderful dreams." As she got up to leave, Applejack waved her out. One by one, the friends all went on their ways, to bed, and to greet the new day in the morning...

It hadn't taken Zecora long, with the help of a few kind ponies, to fix her roof. Replacing the cauldron wasn't too much of a hassle, since Zecora made a surprising amount of money selling her potions. She was ready to start brewing again, so when there was a knock on the door, she quickly made her way to it. "Why, who could that be? Perhaps a customer for me?" At the door was none other than a small yellow filly with a red mane, and a large pink bow. "Ah, my little friend Applebloom! Do come in, I've plenty of room."

She entered, and fidgeted a moment with a shy blush. "Um... Zecora? Ah was wonderin' if ya had some advice for approachin' someone you had a crush on?" Zecora gave her a nervous smile, and cleared her throat before answering in her normal rhyme.

"Applebloom, we have had this talk, and at your affection I must balk."

"Huh?" Applebloom blinked and looked up to the zebra, one brow raised curiously. Then she giggled, shaking her head. "Nah, silly! Ah'm not in love with ya no more! That was jus' a silly thing. Ah'm really in love this time!"

Zecora breathed out a sigh of relief, and she moved to get Applebloom some juice so the zebra could give her a drink along with the advice. "Ah, yes, forgive me, please. Who's name is it that you've written on trees?"

"Spike!" And then Zecora just froze up, staring at the screen, as if to say, "Help me!"

The Princess and the Pauper - A Proposition

The sun rose over Canterlot, bathing the mountain in a gorgeous golden light. The rays spilled over the streets like a cascade, invading homes through windows as it went. Thanks the mountain the city stood upon, the morning always came just slightly late. Normally, the city was out and about before the sun began to peak over the summit. And so, everypony was awake to appreciate the warm glow, though many couldn't be bothered to even look up. All went about their business nonchalantly, having, in general, forgotten just how beautiful the sun could be. All but one.

Princess Celestia rose her head from her pillow, and smiled, mouthing a silent, "Good Morning." to her oldest of friends, and rose from her bed. Last night had been quite a long one, and though Celestia was a goddess, she still needed sleep. Just less often than most mortals. A deity could avoid sleep for days without suffering ill effects, and it was thanks to that fact that she could spend so much time with Luna. Of course, that time was mostly spent just being together while fighting the eternal, losing battle of attempting to clear the desks which were under constant assault by the endless hordes of bureaucracy. A good sleep was what the princess needed, and she was thankful for it. The princess was always a morning pony -- How could she not be, as a goddess of the sun -- And she stepped out onto her balcony as though she had been awake the entire time. The alicorn surveyed her domain with her normal stoic, mysterious smile, her eyes sweeping over the city where ponies bustled. "And good morning, my beloved children," she whispered to them. "I hope you slept well."

The noise of running water caused her ear to twitch, swiveling to the source. The bathroom she shared with her younger sister. Her smile only widened as she trotted over to the door. Luna hadn't slept, but it had only been two days and nights since her last rest. Likely, she was simply freshening up for the new day. Celestia opened the door, and almost got out her greeting before she stopped at the sight before her. Luna's mane was... Very poofy. That was really the only way to describe it. Celestia's mouth hung open, as her sister glanced over, a toothbrush hanging from her mouth. The moon goddess blinked, as if to ask, "What?" before going back to her brushing.

Celestia stepped alongside her, pretending absolutely nothing was wrong, as she got to brushing as well. "Well, sister, I... Erm... I find your mane... Nice?" Luna rolled her eyes and unceremoniously spat out the toothpaste into the sink.

"Our... My carpet is a traitor, and should be hung."

"It shocked you, I take it?" Celestia chuckled, and much more gracefully lifted a cup to her lips and swished the water inside her mouth, then spat out the mess into the cup so it wouldn't go all over the sink. "Perhaps you should stop shuffling your hooves over it."

"How else may I prank the maids, Celestia?" Luna smirked, and examined her teeth in the mirror with mouth wide open. "Ah an ot neegect kee-hing them on eir ooves."

"Try that again, Luna. I didn't quite catch it." Celestia smiled at her sister's antics. It had been two years since her return, and the sun goddess's heart was still light and airy from her presence. It was so very good to see her again.

"I must keep them ready in case of a major disaster, Tia." With a sweet smile that didn't at all fool Celestia, the younger alicorn reached with her magic for a hair-brush.

"Oh, of course. I'm sure they are quite sick of our jokes by now. One prankster princess was quite enough for them, I'm sure." She snatched the brush away from Luna, who gasped and glared, backing towards the door of her room.

"Tia, I am perfectly capable of tending to my own mane."

Celestia only returned the sweet smile she had just been given. "Oh, but I insist on straightening out this disaster. Perhaps some pig-tails? You would look ever so cute with them..."

Luna's eyes went wide as her hoof scrambled for the door's knob. "No! Stay back! Harry me not with thy wicked designs!"

"Or perhaps a twin braid, connected in the back with a bun?" Celestia advanced menacingly, holding the brush in a manner very similar to a murderer brandishing a knife. "Wouldn't you like that?"

"Away, foul knave!" Luna's hoof finally found the knob and twisted it, making her fall over onto her back, and roll. Remembering that she did indeed have magic, she quickly shut the door and held it as her older sister lunged. A thump resounded from the other side, "Should ye not be preparing to entertain a guest most important, Tia?! Cease thy vexation upon me, and go to plague some other unfortunate!"

The larger princess grumbled at her failure to seize the opportunity. "Very well, but don't you forget you have work to do, while I'm gone!" There came a loud, explosive sigh from Luna's room as the alicorn set about sulking as though she had just been grounded. Deciding not to support her foalish pouting with attention, Celestia simply went on her way. She steeled herself as she approached the door, knowing full well what awaited her on the other side. When she opened the door, lo and behold, her royal vizier, Sound Advice.

The grey unicorn with a black mane was examining the schedule at Celestia's door for who knows how long. His patience rivaled her own at times. "Good morning, your highness. Are you ready for the day's itinerary? We have much to do."

With a incline of her head, Celestia returned the greeting. "Good morning, Sir Advice. I have an important guest arriving today, and I was expecting to spend most of my time making her feel at home, today. All documents and appointments should be forwarded to my sister, as per my agreement with her," she replied in as level a tone as she could manage while keeping a straight face. Sound didn't need to know the agreement was actually a bet made over a game of badminton. Luna had lost that game. She was never very good at badminton.

Sound Advice raised a brow, and looked down at the schedule. "I fear, Princess, that this amount of work is simply unmanageable for a single pony, even an alicorn. I must insist that you at least complete some of it." Checking a pocket watch, he droned, "And your guest will not be arriving for three hours yet."

Celestia understood perfectly why royal viziers were always evil in the fairy tales. She hadn't informed Advice of her guest's arrival time for the purpose of avoiding work for just a short while. So much for that. "Very well, Sir Advice." With a sigh just loud enough that he could clearly hear her displeasure, yet soft enough that it could be mistaken for a small yawn, she opened the door wider, and stepped back to allow him in. And thus started three hours of paperwork, satisfying whining nobles, and tax discussions.

After an hour, she wished she was dead. After two, she wondered if she could justify sending her vizier to the moon.

Rarity couldn't be more excited about stepping into Canterlot. Oh sure, the last time she was here, she had made some... Mistakes. But thanks to the help of Fancy Pants, she'd mostly retained the reputation she'd built. She was a natural for higher society, it just went to show!

Of course, she was not looking forward to some of the bigotry she had witnessed on her last visit. However, the unicorn had reasoned that if Fancy Pants could cause those judgmental nobles to have some respect for the town of her birth, then surely once she gained enough influence amongst them, she could show them what a wonderful place it was!

No, she was not in denial, and it is very rude of you to think that, sir.

After roping some stallions into carrying her luggage (a few flutters of the eye lashes was all it took, as usual), the mare strode confidently down the lanes, nose slightly upturned and eyes all but closed, only open enough to see where she was going. Her display worked, as several ponies stopped to turn their gaze to her, wondering who this graceful, lovely unicorn might be. Turning heads wherever she trotted, Rarity headed inexorably towards the palace gates, letting nopony stop her, and nothing get in her way.

It was inevitable that she would come into the ritzy part of town, which suited Rarity just fine. She had to admit, she was somewhat nervous about what the nobles might think of her after that garden party, but she was determined not to show it. Keeping her expression and poise up, she nonetheless opened her eyes further, to allow the advance warning of incoming threats. And to avoid once more bumping into somepony.

Such an incident was completely unavoidable, however, and with a cry of, "Look out, madame!" a stallion's carriage careened around the corner. Rarity was able to jump back just in time, and the carriage barely screeched to a halt. "Oh good, you are unhurt! Terribly sorry, my driver-" The stallion stopped, and stared for a moment at Rarity, who adjusted her mane and was about to accept his apology, when she realized who was speaking to her. The unicorn's eyes narrowed.

"YOU." There, before her, was Prince Blueblood, who gulped a moment. His eyes darted around as Rarity slowly advanced onto him, and the stallion pointed with a hoof towards a side street.

"LOOK! A DISTRACTION!" Rarity, of course not fooled by this, crouched down to pounce the prince right out of his seat. The stallion had the good sense to know that being here was a bad place to be. His horn glowed, and with a puff of smoke, he disappeared just as the mare flew at him. Rarity landed gracefully on her hooves, and seethed very ungracefully for a moment, before settling with giving the cart a solid buck. The stallions carrying her bags gulped, and took a healthy step back when the wrathful mare turned to them.

"Well? Nevermind that cur! Let us be on our way!" She turned, and trotted off, followed hesitantly by her two little helpers.

It took quite a bit of complaining before the guards at the palace gates would agree to not search the myriad bags she had brought with her. It even took the intervention of Princess Celestia, who informed them that the mare likely wasn't smuggling any weapons into the palace, before they stopped questioning the nature of her luggage. Even then, no amount of convincing would make them allow the stallions into the palace. As the disappointed ponies took their leave, head hung and no doubt thinking about the one that got away already, two servants came to replace them, somehow the maids miraculously carrying the mountain between them. "The nerve! If I were princess, I am quite sure they would have never given me such a problem," the miffed mare huffed out, still a bit off kilter from her impromptu meeting with her hated and most certainly former prince charming.

"You would be surprised. Sometimes, I have a hard time making them listen," Celestia replied, following along behind the two servants, who knew exactly where they were going. She looked straight ahead for now, allowing Rarity to admire that mysterious, stoic smile on the princess's face. She sorely wished she knew how to smile like that.

"But who would dare deny you, your highness? You are, after all, a princess of Equestria!" Rarity spoke with genuine confusion in her voice. Her anger had left her as she watched the princess walk alongside her, though that made her envious of every graceful and careful move the alicorn made.

So when Celestia stopped and turned her gaze towards Rarity, the unicorn couldn't help but blush a bit from being caught staring. The princess knelt down to her subject's level, and gave her a stern look. "Rarity, what Equestria needs is far more important than what I merely want."

"Well... I..." She had leaned back a bit as the princess gave her that frown. It felt slightly like being stabbed in the heart. Rarity lowered her head like a scolded filly, and looked to the ground. "I am sorry, your highness. I simply thought you would know best."

"Not even I am infallible." Celestia rose up again, smiling once more, and continued on. "Sometimes I can be quite silly too!" Rarity watched for a moment, before trotting quickly to catch up. She was still confused, but when the mare reached her room, she shooed that perplexity away, and smiled brightly.

"Oh, it's quite lovely!" She looked about the guest room, which had been furnished in a lavish rose colored theme, complimented by hand-carved cherry-wood furniture. The room was as well made as the tower space she was in before, just a bit smaller.

"I'm glad you approve. I thought it would be easier for you to come and go from the palace if you were not so high up. Certainly more convenient." As the princess spoke, the maids set about unpacking Rarity's things, but were quickly stopped and shooed.

"I'll handle that, darlings. Never you mind, I'm quite sure you have enough to do already." The unicorn continued to admire the room for a moment longer, before she looked over her shoulder to Celestia. "Your highness, may I ask a question?"

"Of course." She already knew what Rarity was going to ask, but it would be impolite to not let her subject say it herself. Rarity preferred decorum, she remembered.

Rarity ignored the servants still standing by for now, and turned to face Celestia entirely after making some brief plans about where to put her things. "When last I was here, we barely had any time to socialize, your highness. And I was hoping that you might like to spend some more time together?"

"I have already made the time for that," Celestia affirmed, smiling just slightly wider at that. "I rarely have the time for company, so I planned in advance." There was no need for Rarity to know about her bet either.

For her part, the unicorn's confusion returned, but she shook it away and beamed. "Wonderful. Shall we have tea?" Finally noticing that the servants were still there, the unicorn apologetically waves a hoof. "Oh, don't let me hold you up! I will be quite fine!"

They nodded, but before they could leave, Celestia stopped one of them with a gentle hoof. "Would you please bring us some tea?"

The earth pony mare frowned, and canted her head. "But your highness, your diet...

"... Will be just fine. Just this once." The alicorn winked, and the mare smiled, shaking her head.

"As you wish, your highness." She quickly trotted away, leaving Rarity to frown after her. But that didn't last long, as Celestia entered the room, and seated herself on a cushion.

"So, Rarity, tell me how you've been doing. It's been a while since you sent a letter." The unicorn was quick to seat herself across from the princess, forgetting her bags entirely as she began to speak, gossiping for hours. Celestia, in her infinite patience, was more than happy to just listen to her.

Hours passed, and Celestia found herself chatting normally with Rarity rather than simply lending an ear. It was quite nice to be able to actually relax and let her guard down with somepony other than her sister, who was sometimes a bit too childish for her tastes, or Twilight, who was quite often just as busy as she was. But even now, the princess didn't feel quite comfortable. Rarity was, as usual, too focused on royal life, and Celestia could only offer her excuses and dismissive asides as answers, not wanting to crush her dreams of the glamorous life. But even Celestia's patience faded as time wore on, and her composure with it, to be replaced by a sad smile. This didn't escape the unicorn's notice.

"Your highness, what is the matter?" Rarity canted her head, a slight frown across her muzzle. Then she gasped, putting a hoof to her chest. "Oh my word, am I bothering you? My deepest apologies, princess! Why, I should be ashamed!"

The alicorn blinked, realizing what face she bore, and quickly smiled again. "No, Rarity, you are not bothering me. I am fine. I was... Lost in thought, for a moment." It wasn't a lie, persay. In fact, it was quite truthful. She just neglected to mention to what those thoughts pertained.

The fashionista, with her sharp attention to detail, was not to be so easily brushed aside. She knew that the topic of conversation was what brought the princess down. "Princess Celestia, I am a tad confused. Several times, I've noticed your servants talking back, not allowing your desires to come to fruition, and even demanding that you return to your tasks! Now, I know that you must have much work as one of the rulers of Equestria, but surely you are allowed time to yourself! And surely, having such an important job, you must have so many privileges, benefits! Why, then, are you so saddened by such questions?"

Celestia was dreading this question. The very thought of what effect her answer would have on the unicorn bothered her far more than speaking of her lifestyle. "Rarity... This may be a shock to you, but royalty is quite limited in what they may or may not do."

"But you are the princess! Nay, you move the very sun across the sky!" Rarity flourished over her head in an arc with a hoof, as if to pantomime the course of said star. Celestia's smile became completely genuine. There was something so charming about the unicorn's melodramatic ways. Perhaps it was refreshing. The nobles and royalty that surrounded the princess were always attempting to emulate her stoic, unshakeable ways. Instead, they simply came off as cold and unfeeling. Completely different from Rarity, who threw herself so readily into the chaotic tides of emotion.

"Yes, I am. And yes, I do. But you see, Rarity, much of my time is taken with work. Of course I work hard, but not even I am capable of handling all of the problems Equestria has. Now that my sister has returned, it has become far more easy, but there is still so much to do, so much that needs to be taken care of, some of which is centuries old!" Celestia took a deep breath. Before she closed her eyes, she saw the shocked look on Rarity's face. "I have no real time to myself. I have to plan even a small break such as this weeks in advance. Luna is my only real friend. Every other moment, I must wear a mask that keeps every other pony far away from me, to show no weakness that the nobles might prey on, weaken and mock me with. Being royalty is not fun, not privileged. I am less free than even a prisoner in the dungeon."

She felt a sudden warmth and embrace, and with a start the princess opened her eyes and looked down. The unicorn had wrapped her forelegs about the alicorn's chest (or as much as she could), to deliver a comforting hug. Celestia bowed her head, a grateful smile on her muzzle. "Oh, Princess, I had no idea. It must be so terrible, having not even had a single vacation in all this time!" Celestia chuckled. That wasn't entirely the point she had been getting at, but this was a reaction far better than the unicorn sinking into depression. Rarity slipped back, that smile on her face still so bright. Celestia sorely wished she knew how to smile like that. "And yet, I wish I could be royalty, if even for a day. Even if I must work so hard, such prestige, and glamor..."

The alicorn barely stopped herself from face-hoofing. How could she have so thoroughly missed everything I said? If she was royalty even for a few hours, she would- Celestia hesitated, which brought Rarity pause as well. The princess looked to a wall past her guest, and slowly smiled, wider and wider. The unicorn gulped a bit, and leaned back, filled with slight trepidation.

"Y-Your highness? Is... Everything alright?"

Celestia slowly turned her head back to Rarity. "I have a proposition for you, Rarity. How would you like to be princess for a week?"

Rarity's eyes widened to almost impossible size, and stars literally shown in them. "A princess?! Would I ever, your highness! Oh, it would be a dream come true!

Just like Blueblood? Celestia stopped herself from saying. "No, not a princess. The princess."

Rarity's eyes didn't change, nor did her ecstatic grin, but she slowly canted her head to the side in confusion. Celestia found that excessively disturbing. "Whatever could you mean, princess?"

Oh by the sun please stop looking at me like that, Celestia silently pleaded, and she hurriedly responded out loud, hoping her reply would make the unicorn stop doing that, "You are correct. I sorely need a vacation. And I believe that if you would serve to replace me while I did so, I would feel more comfortable than if I simply left my sister to all the drudgery."

"Oh, how wonderful! What an idea!" Rarity clapped her fore-hooves together, mercifully ceasing that horrid inclination of her head. The expression remained, however, though her mouth was now closed. Celestia was thankful for that. But in an instant, Rarity's face fell, and she sighed quite loudly. "Oh, but I've so much work to do myself. I have an order waiting for me when I return to Ponyville."

"I can perform that for you," Celestia offered, far more quickly than she had planned to. Am I really this desperate for respite from this? "I will do your work, and you will do mine. Luna can assist you and make sure that you don't stray far from procedure, and I have picked up quite a few tricks over my lifetime. I should be able to handle designing the dresses, as long as the plans are already laid out." Celestia had to admit that creativity was always Luna's strong point, not her's.

Rarity's face lit up again, and she let out a joyous squee, hopping into the air. Celestia couldn't help but laugh at the spectacle, though it was cut off by a soft "oof" as the unicorn half-hugged half-grappled her in the throes of her glee. "That is such a wonderful idea! And with your dear sister watching over me, not a thing could possibly go wrong."

Celestia hadn't the heart to correct her, so she instead gently pried her guest away. "Now, here is how we are going to do this, my dear pony..."

An hour later, Celestia retired to her room, a broad, almost dreamy smile crossing her face. When she entered, she was almost immediately set upon by an enraged Luna. "YOU."

Celestia blinked in surprise, and raised one brow. "Is... There something the matter, Prin- Luna?"

Luna didn't even notice the slip-up. "You know exactly what is wrong, Tia! The duke of Seaddle was blubbering on about how he could not bear the new tax tariffs on the fish trade to the gryphon population of Manehatten, and I could do naught but listen to his ridiculous posturing!" She waved a forehoof wildly in the space between the two alicorns, and the taller one leaned back to avoid being struck, seeming rather flabbergasted. "Why, my only ally in that was mayor Vintage! And while his snarky demeanor was quite amusing, it only served to exacerbate the whining! And then, as if I had not heard enough of gryphons... Why, who should enter the meeting hall but King Odin himself, who had his own complaints on the fish trade! Why, if I were to never hear a single thing spoken of neither salmon nor tuna, surely I would be most joyous for- Why are you smiling like that."

Celestia coughed softly, to the side. "Well, you see, Luna..."

The moon goddess's eyes narrowed. "Hold. You have just completed a visit with a guest whose presence you have been anticipating for near a moon cycle. You are smiling in such a manner that is reminiscent of a court jester. You are acting strangely..."

"I am not acting strangely at all, for you see-"

Luna cut her off again, pointing a hoof accusingly with a sudden smirk. "You have fallen for the unicorn Rarity, have you not?!"

Celestia sputtered for a moment, and in an outrage, stamped a hoof onto the floor. "Why, I never! Princess Luna, if you would let me explain for just a moment, I would-"

"HA! You have! You are hopelessly in love! Oh, I shall tell the night guard, and we shall be jubilant for weeks on end! The fun shall be-"

"PRINCESS LUNA I AM RARITY!" Luna jumped back with wide eyes, and peered at her 'sister', who was gritting her teeth, one eye twitching. "Celestia has decided to take a vacation, and I am princess in her stead." One of Luna's eye-lids twitched. "I shall be taking on her workload with your help, and we have decided it would be best to switch identities entirely, for the time being." Another twitch. "... Princess Luna?"

Luna could only find the presence of mind to speak but one word. "What."

The Princess and the Pauper - And So It Begins

"The Agenda doth say that ye must attend to the morning court. There are many appointments that mine sister had set before this impromptu and completely inane, childish idea..." To be completely honest, Luna was more upset that she hadn't thought of this first. I could easily switch places with Twilight Sparkle, she mused to herself. The unicorn would perform mine workload quite admirably, I think.. Her thoughts were cut off and her surly attitude only worsened at Rarity's - Celestia's -- Rarilestia's? Yes, that would do -- blank stare. "Is there something on mine face? Or do ye simply find it fascinating on this morn?"

The unicorn -- No, alicorn -- shook off her shock a bit and tried to fake a smile to cover up her stare. Honestly, why had her sister done this to her? Was this some kind of punishment for one of her pranks? If so, this was cruel and unusual to the highest degree! "Well, I was wondering, shouldn't you be asleep, princess? I mean, it is day time, and I have heard that it's normal for you to rest during these hours..."

Luna couldn't help it. A hoof came up to her face, and rubbed slowly, but firmly down it. She had to fight to compose herself. This mare is not an idiot. She does not understand. She is just ignorant. Don't lose thy temper, Luna! Her face almost creaked at the strain of forcing a smile. "No. We... I," she corrected herself, "sleep when I require sleep, which is not as often as other ponies." Baby steps would ease her into modern Equestrian, which was working well, if not turning her speech into a hodgepodge of both. It was bothering the unicorn, Luna could tell, as Rarilestia's own smile became notably more forced. How dare she judge me?! Why, I should... No! No, Luna. It is NOT her fault that Celestia abandoned you with this nitwi - This perfectly intelligent and not at all imbecilic mare in front of you Oh why did you do this to me, Tia?

For her part, Rarilestia at least had the presence of mind to see that Luna was upset. The young mare raised a hoof to lay it comfortingly on Luna's chest, when a warning glance from the latter stopped that in its tracks. "I'm sorry I'm causing you so much distress, princess," she apologized with a heavy sigh. "I suppose it was wrong of both of us to force this upon you. I shall go back to Ponyville, and inform her that we mustn't burden you...'

Luna fought to keep her expression surly, even as her heart leaped for joy. Yes, That's right! Go back, drag mine lazy deadbeat of a sister back to Canterlot! "I think that would be most wise. Our kingdom is vast, and it requires much work to maintain." She allowed herself a smile, trying to emulate her sister's wise "you have chosen wisely" smile. Unfortunately, it came off as more smug than anything else.

Rarilestia let off a deep sigh, and her expression took on the traits one might expect of a foal whose pet had just passed away. Luna's smile slowly faded as the unicorn spoke. "I have dreamed of an opportunity all my life, but I suppose there comes a time when a mare must throw away their childish dreams, and accept the harshest of realities..." The unicorn, still under the spell that had disguised her as the sun princess, turned from the alicorn before her, and slowly got to work gathering up her things to pack them. The utter sadness in her expression made Luna feel absolutely terrible.

"Perhaps," the moon goddess said hesitantly, "you are not causing distress to a degree where leaving would be necessary..." She gasped in shock as a white blur shot up to her and started kissing her hooves.

"Oh thank you, thank you, thaaaank yoooou!" Rarilestia beamed up at a thoroughly disturbed Princess, who put one hoof firmly onto the mare's shoulder and pushed, while the other hoof rose up away from those supplicant lips. "I will not let you down, I promise!"

I need... What had Tia called it? Brain bleach. Yes, I desperately require brain bleach. As she was trying to shake the image of her sister kissing her hooves out of her head, Luna grimaced a bit. "You already are! Ye act nothing like mine sister, and thy countenance being her's only makes it all the worse! You are acting as an over-eager fool, and I very much doubt you, of all ponies, could possibly replicate her grace, her poise." Realizing that sounded more harsh than it needed to, she added, "And really, none could. So the best course of action, as we see it, is to keep you out of the public eye entirely.

Rarilestia straightened herself up, showing that she at least had the dignity to listen, and Luna's smile became much less forced. But what happened next shocked her. The young mare's eyes half lidded, and her lips curled ever so slightly into an enigmatic, yet kind smile. The inner tips of her brows raised slowly, to give an air of patience, and when Rarilestia next spoke, her voice conveyed a motherly warmth that could lift the spirits of even the most downtrodden of ponies. "Sister, your speech becomes more confused the more agitated you get. Calm down, Luna. Surely, this situation isn't as bad as all that?"

Luna's jaw dropped. "T-Tia?" When that smile shifted just a bit into amusement, the alicorn blushed. Of course, it was all a prank! Oh, what a fool I am! Luna groaned out, more in relief than frustration. "Thank the heavens, I had thought you actually meant to leave me to rule with a pony who knew nothing of the work we must do."

"Luna..."

"I would have had to attend all public functions myself! To deal with all those whining fools! Oh, the horror of it!"

"Luna."

"And I-" She stopped, and tilted her head. "What? What is it?"

On the white alicorn's face was the mirthful grimace of a pony trying their hardest not to burst out into raucous laughter. She failed, to Luna's dismay and confusion.

"Tia, it really isn't that amusing! It was a horrid jest, and you should be overcome by negative emotion!"

The larger alicorn forced her laughing into a soft giggling, and at that point, Luna realized, to her utter horror, that the peals had sounded nothing like her sister's. "Oh, you call her Tia? That is the most adorable thing I have ever heard!"

Rarilestia wasn't fast enough to dodge the flying pillow, but for her credit, Luna was equally incapable of evading the counter-attack. And so the bedroom devolved into chaos.

Celestia could have flown, teleported, or taken a chariot to Ponyville. She could have been there instantaneously, and be already all set up in her disguise as the unicorn Rarity, but that would have drawn too much attention. Too many questions would be asked, and she wanted to enjoy this for as long as she could.

Besides, the princess had never been on a train before, and she wanted to try it. Wanted. Such a nice word to her. "I wanted to ride the train, and I did!" She declared it out loud, happy just to be able to say something like that without being reprimanded or given stern looks by an adviser, servant, or guard. Celestia ignored the odd looks the joyous statement had given her. As she remembered, Rarity was prone to such silly outbursts, anyway. She trotted from the station with the confident strut she knew Rarity to use, feeling so liberated by simply doing what she had wanted with no justification other than she wanted to.

If only Discord could see her now!

The train ride had been a new experience, but that was all there was to be said about it. It was more comfortable than her chariot by far, but her guards weren't there to chat with, and that often kept her busy on the long rides to other cities. As the train was, all there really was to do was to watch the countryside go by, and Celestia had long since memorized it. There had been food served, and while it wasn't of the quality she was used to, the cake was quite nice. Cake was always nice. Still, not even cake had been enough to make her want to stay on that train. As soon as it had pulled into the station, she had been the first passenger out, and her luggage followed.

She hadn't brought much. Just a few bags that the young mare had insisted she bring, some outfits she thought would be, in her words, "ravishing" on Celestia. The alicorn thought this amusing, as the outfits were sized for Rarity, and both of them knew that the disguise Celestia had taken was of Rarity, but it was the thought that counted, after all. And Celestia found it wonderful how thoughtful Rarity really was when she wasn't getting wrapped up in her fantasies.

After quickly consulting a map of Ponyville, she turned to a path heading west of the town. She couldn't go to Carousel Boutique just yet. She had a lot of skills developed over her many, many years, but sewing wasn't one of them. She knew just the pony to ask for that particular talent, however. The only problem would be getting her to help.

Luna still wasn't done glaring holes into Rarity, the unicorn was dismayed to note, and it was made all the awkward by the fact that they now had an audience. In the throne room of Canterlot palace. Rarity was determined to keep her composure and poise as Celestia, however, despite the wrathful gaze directed in her direction. For the most part, it seemed the ponies who were here by appointment were taking this completely in stride, as though it were normal. Some even seemed to find it amusing, as if they knew full well why the smaller alicorn was so agitated.

Unfortunately, Rarity did not have the same clarity. Luna had seemed to calm down during the pillow-fight, and even enjoy it. But as soon as they had come to the throne room, the night princess's mood had soured and fallen into a brooding that seemed to hold the poor disguised unicorn as the cause. Nonetheless, this hadn't prevented Luna from giving sound advice, which Rarity was relying on far too much for her liking. She hadn't entertained even the briefest thought that these appointments would be so complicated and boring, and the details of tax laws fully evaded her, and Luna was soon rendered busy herself, trying to placate some of the more complicated requests, which distracted her sufficiently that she couldn't give the advice Rarity had been so relying on. The disguised unicorn gulped a bit. You can do this, Rarity! Just pay attention!

Two nobles, both unicorns, approached the throne. One, a silver-coated pony with a green mane, seemed infuriated. The other, a yellow pony with a golden mane, was merely annoyed. Before the "princess" could ask what troubled them, the former jabbed a hoof at his fellow. "Your majesty, I demand that this cretin be jailed! He has disrupted to flow of water to my garden in a clear act of sabotage!"

Rarity was a bit taken aback by the audacity of this unicorn demanding anything of a princess, and so blinked a few times, trying to decide how to respond. She looked to Luna out of the corner of her eye beggingly, but no help was forthcoming, as the smaller alicorn was now arguing with her own appointment quite angrily. And loudly. Before the poor mare could come to a decision, however, the gilded pony spoke. "Sabotage? Hardly. That patch of weeds you call a garden was dying anyway. I merely had the water re-directed to where it would be more useful."

Rarity could tell that the first unicorn's temper was only held in check by the fact that there were armed guards nearby, who disapproved of the outburst, by adjusting their spears. "Useful?! It is a SWIMMING pool! My poor, dear garden, now dessicated because of your vanity!"

"Ahem. Excuse me, gentlecolts." The two ponies froze and looked up to whom for all the world looked like the sun goddess. Rarity enjoyed the looks of awe for a moment, before continuing. "Would you please explain how you re-directed this flow of water?"

The second noble instantly looked guilty, as though he had his hoof caught in the cookie jar. "Well, you see, your highness... I just..." A look of realization struck his face Wait, must I explain this? Surely, princess, you would know?"

"Explain it anyway," Rarity commanded, broadening her smile just slightly. Her seeming confidence was belied on the inside by her fervent prayers that this would be taken as an attempt to make the noble understand what he had done wrong, and not a lack of knowledge. Which would be suspicious. And she wasn't suspicious at all!

The stallion gulped, and to the young mare's relief, seemed to do just that. "The aqueducts underneath Canterlot have a series of junctions, and at these junctions, valves. By having somepony turn these valves, the water's flow can be halted or turned aside, in other directions."

Aha, success! Feeling pleased with herself, the disguised unicorn kept her gaze level and locked onto this noble. "So, you had someone turn one of those valves? Wouldn't that keep water from the citizens of Canterlot?"

"Oh, no, your highness. Certainly not." He puffed out his chest in pride as he bragged, "my family were the ones who first created those aqueducts, and it was designed with multiple paths, in case part of it breaks or is overflowing. By turning certain valves, I can halt the flow of water to one spot without effecting the rest of the street."

"And so you kept the water from his home?"

Quickly shaking his head, the yellow stallion opened his mouth to reply before his jaws suddenly were clamped shut by his rival's magic. "Ahaha Princess there's no reason to get bogged down in de-" Rarity decided she did not like either of them, but this one was particularly uncouth. She sharpened her gaze, remembering to keep it subtle, and he immediately released the silenced stallion.

Once so released, the noble shot a glare to the insolent foal, and continued. "No, I did not. This stallion constructed, illegally, I might add, a reservoir connecting to an aqueduct that was being used merely to service his garden. There were water shortages because of it, and I took matters into my own hooves."

Rarity frowned inwardly, thinking. Celestia would come to some kind of agreement between them, wouldn't she? But how- An idea struck her, and she leaned her head down a bit to the two. "I understand how it is to want to have an extravagant garden, but the water shortages are completely unacceptable. Instead of filling up this reservoir, give me the proper paperwork," Surely, Luna won't mind just a few more documents? "- And I'll be sure to have them approved. In the meantime," her gaze turned to the second stallion. "Use your knowledge of the aqueducts to create more water flow on your street to accommodate for his garden. Is that acceptable?" Both stallions nodded, though hesitantly. Rarity had the feeling they were more concerned about one-upping each other than coming to a compromise, but the mare was having none of that. "Good. Get right on it." They headed off, and Luna finally turned her attention back to her "sister".

"What has occurred? Where did they go?"

"I solved their dispute, sister," Rarity tried not to show how proud of herself she was. "Don't we have more to do?" Luna gave the unicorn in disguise a suspicious glare, but seeing that there was no open fighting in the throne room between the two stallions, shrugged. And so, the appointments carried on.

The sun was shining down through the branches of the trees, dappling on Celestia's coat. As she headed down the path, the disguised alicorn had a bounce in her step, a song in her heart, and a plan in her head. Given, her plan had stretched a few hundred years too far, but one could hardly blame her for that. After all, when a pony lives for thousands upon thousands of years, they tend to have problems with time. But one could blame her for focusing the plan not on her learning to sew, but of a unicorn currently sitting in her throne.

Celestia had been Princess Celestia for far too long. Could anyone blame her for wanting a break? She herself couldn't, at the very least, and that was why she plotted. Perhaps Rarity could handle this task for a bit longer, she thought to herself as she sighted the charming little cottage at the end of the path, the last home before the Everfree. And if not, perhaps she could be convinced to learn.

Celestia stopped and collected her thoughts, pulling herself back to the present. She was making a step forward when a bird glided down and alighted onto her horn, bringing the alicorn pause. She smiled to the small creature, and listened patiently to its song of greeting to the sun. The tune was cheery and light-hearted, but short, and the swallow gave a little bow out of embarrassment for the flaw. "Never you mind, little one. Your song was wonderful. But I am supposed to be in disguise, you know." The songbird brought its left wing to the right side of its face, and winked conspiratorially before flying off. After a good-natured chuckle, Celestia started forward again, only to now notice that she was surrounded by a myriad of animals, who had crowded around her hooves while she was distracted. "Oh dear."

Before she could extract herself, the front door of the cottage opened, and out peeked Fluttershy. The pegasus smiled softly at the sight of "Rarity", and stepped out. "Oh my, are my friends bothering you?"

The disguised alicorn reminded herself of her disguise one last time before speaking. "Oh, they're no trouble at all," Celestia said, congratulating herself for the awkwardly forced lie. That really did sound just like Rarity. Chrysalis could learn a thing or two from me, perhaps. An absence struck her as odd, and she looked around. "Where is Gilda?"

Fluttershy gently shooed the animals away with her wings before replying, "She went out to find something to eat. Hunting, I mean..." At that, "Rarity" gave a little shudder. Celestia wasn't at all bothered by the idea, but she felt Rarity would have been.

"Well, Fluttershy, I truly would hate to inconvenience you, but I desperately need your help!" The word desperately was accentuated by the "unicorn" casting her gaze to the sky, and with a small shake of the head.

"Wh-What can I do to help...?" Fluttershy lowered her head a bit, no doubt already doubting her ability to do much of anything.

"I've received an order I may have a problem with, and an extra set of hooves would be incredibly useful." Celestia sealed the deal with a pleading smile. "Pleeeeease?"

Fluttershy hesitated a moment, before she opened her mouth to reply with, "I-I think I can help with that..."

The disguised alicorn noticed Angel, disapprovingly staring, of course, at the pegasus, likely to remind her of some chore. Oh no, you're not getting in the way this time, little rabbit. "Rarity" slipped around to behind Fluttershy, making the pegasus squeak in surprise, and also putting Celestia between her and Angel. "Oh, thank you, my dear. Let us hurry along, I haven't much time!" She gave the pegasus a gentle push along that made her squeak again (something Celestia found utterly adorable, of course), and then they were off. Angel stopped in his tracks, and peered suspiciously at the two mares. Pointing a threatening finger at Rarity, the little rabbit silently vowed revenge.

The Princess and the Pauper - The Time of Her Life

Work began as soon as Celestia and Fluttershy entered Carousel Boutique. They both studied the order carefully, then Celestia watched Fluttershy's movements and began to learn while she moved the necessary materials into place. Eventually, the disguised alicorn felt confident about applying her own work, yet she couldn't match the skill of the pegasus. That was simply a minor setback for Celestia, however, and every mistake taught her what she was doing wrong.

She could never hope to match Rarity's skill, however, and that fact fascinated her. There was little one could not master, given enough time, and she had nothing if not time. Celestia smiles softly, the thought of her talented little ponies surpassing her was a joyous one to her indeed. She only stopped when she felt Fluttershy's eyes on her. "Hmm? What is it, dear?"

"You seem..." Fluttershy tried to find the right words, but could only come up with, "... Happy."

"Rarity" chuckled and turned back to her work. "Why, of course I am, dear. You know how I love my work!" She tried very hard to ignore Opalescent, whom was staring at her with fury in her eyes. Well, there's one animal that dislikes me. I wonder why?

"No, I mean..." The pegasus furrowed her brow, somewhat frustrated with her lack of communication skills. Celestia resisted the sudden urge to hug her. "Happier than normal? You have a dreamy smile, like you have a crush..." She gasped softly, realizing the significance of what she'd just said. "Oh, do you have a stallion? Who is it?" Her eagerness in pursuing that brought Celestia pause more than the statement itself.

Perhaps she's simply more confident around Rarity? The two of them are likely used to telling each other everything, after all, Celestia reasoned. She pondered while Fluttershy waited, and it was only a few seconds later that she realized how suspicious that silence must have been. "Oh no, dear, there is nopony I have my eyes on right now! I was simply lost in thought." "Rarity" smiled brightly, and while Fluttershy didn't seem convinced, she at least nodded and turned from that line of questioning. Hmm. Do I? Celestia's thoughts once again turned inward, examining herself mentally for signs of what the pegasus had guessed. Rarity is a lovely mare, but I'm not sure that I have a crush, persay. Celestia didn't notice her hoof getting dangerously close to the sewing machine's needle, as lost in thought as she was. The thought is not unwelcome, but-

"Aaggh!" She jerked her hoof back from the needle, and a small prick of blood appeared where the offending machine had run her through. Another hoof immediately came to Celestia's mouth as she realized that yelp was in her voice, not Rarity's, but thankfully Fluttershy was so startled she didn't seem to notice. The pegasus rushed over, already with disinfectant and a bandage in one of her wings. Opal seemed to smirk at Celestia's discomfort.

"Are you alright? Does it hurt?" Fluttershy fussed over the hoof, and Celestia had to hold back a laugh at the motherly manner in which the normally demure pony now carried herself.

"No, dear, I am fine," "Rarity" claimed with corrected voice. "But thank you." She held out her hoof to the pegasus, who immediately patched the small wound up, even though it had already stopped bleeding. In the ruckus, neither pony noticed Angel slipping in through a window, and waving Opal out.

With court closed, Rarity could finally relax. Or so she thought. It was then that Luna brought her a stack of papers that seemed to the disguised unicorn would have cost an entire forest to create. She groaned, and leaned back in her chair. "Must I perform such tedious duties, your highness?" At that, Luna scowled.

"No, we expected thee to nap whilst we completed the real work ourselves." She sat at a desk close by to Rarity's, and placed a pair of reading glasses upon her nose. Rarity did a double take, before leaning forward to examine the stack. The first paper was boring trade agreements, and struck Rarity as something that couldn't possibly be important. Nevertheless, she resisted the temptation to just ignore it and started reading.

"I didn't know that you are farsighted, princess," the unicorn brought up as casually as possible, before finally signing for the document, and putting it to one side. She couldn't help but notice with a frustrated frown that Luna had already gotten through ten such papers. She decided that it wouldn't hurt to simply sign the next paper without really looking; it had gotten through the court's scrutiny, and that was good enough for Rarity.

"Doth it bother thee?" Luna asked a bit testily, leading Rarity to shake her head quickly.

"Not at all," said the unicorn as she rejected a particular request. Free ice cream of a random flavor on Fridays? Really? "I think the look very much suits you, your highness." Reviewing the next bill, Rarity marveled at the amount of this particular shipment, it being quite a few barrels of tar with nowhere to go. Leaving permission for it to be stored in a particular royally owned warehouse on a renting basis, she decided it would be best to explain,"I tend to wear non-medicated glasses myself when working. I like the distinguished, yet coy impression it presents."

Luna actually smiled at that, one of the first genuine smiles Rarity had seen from the alicorn since the unicorn had taken Celestia's place. It made her smile herself, a nice boost that was sorely needed to get through this daunting task before her. However, Luna's stack was steadily disappearing into another stack that she could only assume was the documents already reviewed by the moon princess, and Rarity sighed in defeat. Luna glanced to her, a brow raised, and asked, "Doth this task truly seem insurmountable to thee?"

"Does it seem insurmountable to you," Rarity corrected, trying to keep her composure. It was a losing battle, and with a melodramatic groan, she nodded in affirmation of Luna's query. "YES! So much to do, and I have not even begun to work," Rarity fussed. "Try as I might, I have never done such a thing in my life, and yet here I find it -- it being this responsibility -- thrown before me, with naught an idea or starting point of my predecessor's position or wisdom concerning these important matters of government!"

The moon princess couldn't help but take amusement from Rarity's over-reactions, and watched her with unconcealed mirth as she continued to ramble on on the subject of her woes and how unfair it all was, until the alicorn finally decided to interrupt her by clearing her throat. "Rarity. You are half-way done." The unicorn fell silent, and looked down at her stack of papers, which indeed had become roughly equal to the out-going pile.

"... Perhaps I should complain more often," Rarity sheepishly offered in response, which was met by a grin from Luna.

"Indeed, as it appears to have a pronounced effect on thine productivity," Luna replied.

"Your, princess. Not thine."

"A pox onto thy modern Equestrian," Luna scoffed, though with a much more good-natured tone than she had used before when addressing Rarity. Work continued in silence for a moment before Luna spoke again, "It is unfortunate. We had hoped to spare thee the follies of this evening."

"Oh?" Rarity's ears perked. That sounds like gossip! "Please, do tell!" Her confidence was restored in her ability to do this, and she reasoned with herself that any mistake she made would likely be caught by Luna before any real damage could be done.

With a heavy sigh, Luna rolled her eyes and lifted the glasses from her eyes, wiping them clean idly with a dark cloth. "There is a social gathering that we are expected to attend," The alicorn replied weightily. "Such things are always a dreary affair, and we are never content at these so-called 'parties'." As she spoke, Rarity's eyes lit up, and the disguised mare sat straight up, beaming.

"Oh, but I love those occasions! Don't you remember when I was staying with your sister, and got to know the nobility so much better? I have seldom enjoyed myself more, in fact!" Luna gave Rarity an incredulous look, but stayed silent on the matter. Rarity's attention turned to her papers once more, happily burning through them. Not literally, of course. "After all, I do hate to brag, but I am very skilled at saying just the right things and making just the right decisions in high society. I dare say my performance in pretending to be your sister shall not at all be disappointing!"

Luna gave a bit of a shrug, and tapped the completed paperwork on the desk to make sure it was all level, before she finally spoke. "Thy word shall be enough for us. Despite that, we must insist that you rely on our advice for this event. We may provide insight on the intricate -- and selfish -- workings of our and thine guests."

Rarity was hardly listening, and as she pored through her own pile, exciting visions of the intrigue and pomp of high society filled her head. Oh, how wonderful a chance to experience once more being among royalty and nobility, to have ponies hanging on my every word! I wonder what dresses Princess Celestia has...

Meanwhile, Celestia had gotten into the full swing of things, and the end of this order seemed to be in sight. She had enjoyed many a pleasant chat with Fluttershy, and the princess found that this own brand of gossip was far more enjoyable than the nasty slander that nobles seemed to enjoy spreading amongst themselves. Still, she felt vaguely guilty that she had little to return in these conversations. Perhaps I should be more involved in the life of my student and her friends? Not only are the Elements' lives very important, but they are the closest things I have to friends these days. She once more found herself lost in thought, and her pegasus companion recognized the signs of introspection -- it being so familiar to her -- and silenced herself. The disguised alicorn did not fail to notice this, however, and perked her head up, glancing to Fluttershy. "Are you alright, darling?"

"Um... Yes. But what about you?" The pegasus took a few steps forward, timidly reaching a hoof out to press to "Rarity's" forehead. "You're acting so strangely. So quiet. Are you sick...?" Her tone was so concerned that the princess couldn't help but feel a bit guilty.

"Oh, no, Fluttershy. I am perfectly alright!" Celestia inwardly groaned, hoping that Rarity was doing a better job of imitating her than vice versa. The former's introverted tendencies was most definitely getting in the way. "Really, dear, I'm just thinking." Fluttershy seemed as if she had something more to say, but shied back instead, and the princess approached in return. "Come, dear, you needn't be so nervous-"

"Y-You're not Rarity, are you?" The question stunned Celestia for a moment. It was far more direct than what she expected from Fluttershy. She bowed her head, then shook it.

"Very perceptive, my little pony. I'm proud of you, even if this is a bit of an inconvenience," Celestia replied softly, no longer disguising her voice. Fluttershy gasped softly and immediately bowed low, making the disguised alicorn wince. She leaned down and nuzzled gently at the top of the pegasus's head in an attempt to comfort her. "That's not necessary at all. I am very sorry for deceiving you."

The pegasus hesitantly rose up, but still refused to meet the gaze of the pony whom only a few minutes ago, she thought was her friend. When it seemed to Celestia that the poor mare wouldn't recover fully on her own, Celestia drew her into a soft hug, but gave her plenty of room to pull away. Though she tensed at first, Fluttershy slowly relaxed, and the princess smiled. "See? I'm not going to bite."

Fluttershy smiled and let out a soft sigh of relief. "But why, p-princess?" Princes Celestia was dreading the response, but she began to explain.

"Dear little pony, I have been princess for a very, very long time. I had to banish my own sister, whom I love very, very much. And after that, I had no time to mourn. I had to rebuild pony civilization from the cataclysm that was our battle, and make everything stick together and work even as it was crumbling from the edges. And the center, at that." She let out a soft sigh, keeping her gaze away from Fluttershy's. It made her feel a bit guilty to talk about herself so flagrantly, but at the same time, it felt so good to get it off her chest again. "It was a long and harrowing task, and one that I could have failed miserably at the slightest mistake. I had to constantly keep a veneer of confidence the entire time, so that none of my subjects could see my doubt and terror. And even once that danger was gone, the amount of work that was backlogged -- held back for other, more important things -- was so immense I could not even hope to catch up in a century."

Fluttershy frowned, softly, a sad sympathetic frown, but she didn't care move up to the princess or interrupt. The latter continued, "Even now, that work still looms over me. My sister's return was a wonderful thing, indescribable to any creature who doesn't understand what immortality is like. She has brought many more joys than one, not least of which the fact that I have somepony to share that burden with now. But even so," Celestia started, taking a deep breath and letting it out in a sigh before she finished with, "I needed a break, and I intend to enjoy it."

"I... Don't really understand," Fluttershy replied after a long silence. "But I don't mind, if that's what you want." That caused the disguised alicorn to smile again.

"Thank you, Fluttershy. Now, where were we?"

"W-Well..." The pegasus fidgeted as Celestia turned back to her work. The princess felt much better, and was quite eager to get back to the sewing. However, what Fluttershy had to question next brought her pause almost immediately, and almost caused another incident with the no-doubt bloodthirsty machine. "Do you think Rarity is alright...? I mean, sometimes, she doesn't make the best decisions. N-Not to say that she isn't smart!" Fluttershy hastily back-pedaled as Celestia pulled her hoof to safety from the machinations of that wicked device. "But she... She can be a bit... Um... Hasty, sometimes..."

The princess chuckled softly, turning her head to smile encouragingly to Fluttershy. "Oh, I know this very well. However, I have left Luna with her, and while Luna can be... Trying, at times, she is very responsible." With her work, Celestia thought to herself. The mental states of the palace staff, not so much. Waving that thought aside, she continued, "Not to mention that I gave Rarity and Luna both explicit instructions to immediately contact me if things should get out of hand."

Fluttershy still had her doubts, but she preferred not to voice them. Surely her princess knew what she was doing. But after another moment's silence, she couldn't resist her curiosity on another topic entirely. "Princess?"

"Mmm?" The disguised alicorn studied the work of the machine carefully, wary of it's implement of pain.

"Were you thinking of Rarity?" Fluttershy sounded slightly excited at the prospect, which caused Celestia even more of a start than warranted from the question itself. The alicorn was only able to question herself for a moment before the pegasus's expectant, hopeful gaze forced an answer from her.

"Well, yes. She is a brilliant, talented, and lovely pony," replied the alicorn without the slightest hint of realization for how that must have sounded. "I cherish her as much as I do all of you." A soft, shy smile graced Fluttershy's face, and Celestia's heart seemed to her to stop. She forced herself to not put her hoof over her chest. Dearest sun, this pony is too adorable to bear...

"D-Do you think about us very often?" Celestia considered this question a moment, before she had to shake her head.

"Perhaps Twilight Sparkle, but no. I am just so busy that I don't have the time to allow my thoughts their wander to other ponies." That wasn't quite the truth, she always had plenty of time as far as she was concerned. But it sounded nicer than simply stating that she didn't think of them. Ponies liked to think that they were important beyond their own perceptions, after all.

"But you were thinking about Rarity this whole time, weren't you?" Fluttershy insisted gently. "Do you... Do you like her?" Celestia's stoic composure came completely crashing down for a moment, her eyes widening and jaw dropping as she stared at Fluttershy. That made the pegasus squeak and back up, then hide behind her mane with lowered head. "S-Sorry, I didn't mean to...! Oh, Fluttershy, you're such a loudmouth..."

The alicorn certainly would have comforted the smaller pony had she possessed the presence of mind to do so. As it was, Celestia could only stare as her mind raced for the first time in a millennium. What? No, that's impossible. Rarity is beautiful, graceful, full of conviction, hard-working, full of life, not afraid to show her emotions... Celestia forced herself to stop there. She shook her head quickly, scaring poor Fluttershy -- whom believed she had broken the princess -- more in the doing. But that doesn't mean I love her! I just have a deep respect for her, and perhaps a bit envious in how free she is with her feelings. That's all. The alicorn finally let out a sigh of relief, and smiled. Rationality had won out once more.

Fluttershy only now dared to whisper, "P-Princess? A-Are you... Alright...?" The disguised princess slowly nodded.

"Yes, I am fine. Why don't we take a small break from this work? I think it may do us some good." Fluttershy hesitated for a moment, before Celestia suggested, "We could visit that spa Rarity likes so much?"

The pegasus smiled and nodded quickly, eager to put that strange experience behind her, and the two left the shop, allowing it to lay as it was. Neither noticed the rabbit and cat following them.

The party was everything Rarity had hoped, and perhaps more. It was put outside in the garden at evening, and though lovely, the soft light of dusk was lost under the hanging lanterns that served to illuminate the gathering. There were several seats and tables laid out with many a treat and delight of both food and drink, though most of the guests chose to stand, as it was easier to mingle that way. Nearby, the royal symphony created a tune that matched perfectly the atmosphere of refinement and nobility. She couldn't fathom why Luna was so wary of this event. What was there not to love? Well, that wasn't quite true; she suspected Luna had no patience for "The Game". Rarity had practiced for "The Game" almost her entire life, and had gotten plenty of hooves on experience that fateful visit to Canterlot which had given her such a taste of the fun.

"The Game" was not a simple one, to be sure. It was never-ending and all encompassing for the elite of Canterlot- No, every noble in each city. There was no escape from the eternal dance for prestige and favor, but most would have it no other way. To Rarity, and ponies like her, there was no greater thrill than the posturing and thinly veiled insults and sneers of their opponents, and saying just the right thing to put them in their place. Of course, Rarity didn't mean any of it as genuinely cruel or malignant. To her, it was just the game.

It was just how it was played, nothing more.

Of course, as Celestia, she already had a distinct advantage. And as Luna had warned her that the princess of the sun did not particularly like these parties, she was content to be a mere observer, and stayed near the moon goddess. She was rather pleasant company by herself. "And those two arguing there, who are they?" She whispered to Luna.

Luna sipped some of the punch she had -- which she had earlier dubbed the party's only saving grace -- before responding with, "Ash, the Canterlot Fire Marshal, and Marble, Canterlot's Chief Architect. The two of them are little more than squabbling children. Fie, we say, Fie to them."

Rarity took more amusement in that than she likely should have, but managed to hide it well behind a small slice of cake. "And why is that?"

"Marble constructed a number of structures in the past that had not met the standards necessary for 'fire safety'." Luna gave an emphatic shrug at that. "According to our sister, 'twas a legitimate concern - 20 years past at this date. Their ridiculous feud serves only to amuse us at best, annoy mine efforts at promoting synergy at worst."

Before Rarity could ask what "synergy" even meant, a stallion stepped up with a tray on his back. The disguised unicorn smirked down at Prince Blueblood -- whom had been relegated to the position of a mere servant at her command -- and spoke. "Nephew, are you enjoying the party?"

The unicorn groaned, his expression equal parts bemused and annoyed. "Aunt Celestia, is this really necessary? I don't even know what I did to deserve this!" Luna kept her expression as blank as possible, a trait Rarity was pleased to note usually meant that the princess was trying very hard not to laugh.

Rarity lifted one of the martini bearing glasses from said tray, and tut-tutted. "Really, nephew, if you do not know, I won't be telling you." She sipped from the glass, giving him a sly grin. "Now, don't neglect the other guests." Blueblood let out a heavy sigh, and retreated to the crowd, defeated but no less confused.

Luna let out an explosive sigh, relieved that the prince had left her view before she lost control. "Celestia. While we appreciate the ironic humor of having royalty serve the other nobility, we must question thy motives and wisdom in choosing this course of action."

Rarity smiled a bit thinly and held up a hoof. "Dear sister, please. Isn't it the duty of royalty to serve Equestria? For some of us, it is just more literal than usual tonight."

Before Luna could respond, however, a cry of despair rose from the crowd, and Rarity drew herself up straight in alarm, ready to leap into action. When she saw the source, however, she relaxed. A mare who was primly dressed was beside herself, seeming as though she could cry. Luna rolled her eyes, but the frown on Rarity's face made her stop, if only out of curiosity. The larger "princess" rose from her seat, and trotted forward. "What is the matter?"

"Oh, princess! I have just received word that I may be ruined! An extremely important shipment from my business is waylaid at customs, because a warehouse of mine has been destroyed!" The white earth pony's lips quivered, and Rarity feared the mare might dive forward and bury her head into the disguised unicorn's chest. She didn't, however, and Rarity awkwardly laid a foreleg over the noble's back to comfort her.

"What happened to that warehouse? Is it salvagable?" Rarity had not the slightest clue of how these things worked, but she could at least try to be a proper princess.

"No, it simply... Collapsed! The whole building fell, and the basement was completely flooded!" Rarity's fears were realized when the mare buried her face against that offer foreleg, thoroughly embarrassing herself and the "princess" in the process.

With it made quite clear in her tone how uncomfortable she was with this, the disguised unicorn asked, "I am sorry to hear that. Were your products all destroyed?"

The mare nodded enthusiastically, which caused the larger pony to question whether she was sad or happy about this disaster. "Yes, and I have no other place to store my goods! If I cannot move them quickly, my business shall be ruined!"

Rarity was a kind soul, to be sure, and she certainly didn't want to see this poor pony lose what she had -- whatever she had -- so she smiled warmly, in that way she loved so much when she saw Celestia do it, and shushed the mare as a parent would shush a filly. "It's alright. Listen... What is your name?"

The mare looked up, hopefully. "Fowl Play, your highness."

A slight frown crossed Rarity's muzzle, and she raised a brow. "Foul Play?"

"As in birds, Princess." The mare smiled a bit awkwardly, her eyes a bit red from the crying.

"Ah, I see." She must deal in exotic birds, to be this upset about the loss of one shipment. The false princess smiled again, reassuringly. "Come see me in the morning for court. I will have your case prioritized, and we shall sort this out as quickly as possible."

"Oh, thank you, your highness!" Fowl practically pounced the princess. Not only was that very awkward and humiliating for Rarity, but the guards were taking a marked interest in the situation and were obviously not happy. The unicorn gently pushed the Earth Pony down for her own protection. Of course. The mare didn't seem to mind, and trotted off to make some last minute preparations, while "Celestia" sighed. She was about to return to her seat when a loud crash came through the air, and then everything went to Tartarus.

In the time that Rarity was distracted, the argument between Ash and Marble had gotten very heated. Eventually, their emotions, combined with the influence of the wine and martinis, got the better of Marble. He responded to a final insult from Ash by bucking his rival in the chest. With the strength of an Earth Pony behind it, the kick was more than enough to send the unicorn flying back, and he landed on one of the short edges of the rectangular table. The table legs snapped and the force of the impact flipped the table up, sending various food items flying. A plate of barbecued broccoli struck one of the hanging lanterns, and it flipped over, dumping the candle from it onto a streamer. The flammable paper burned almost immediately, leading like a fuse to a rope bearing pennants of Equestria's flag, and the heat caused it to snap and swing down towards Rarity! The false alicorn was totally unaware of her impending doom, but thankfully Ash had gotten enough time to recover, and did the first thing he could think of as a Fire Marshall. He seized a bowl of punch with his telekinesis, and flung the liquids over the burning rope, dousing the flame in the nick of time.

He also succeeded in soaking Rarity with the punch, and stained her dress in ways the unicorn was sure would never come out.

A deep, awkward silence followed, the quiet of it somehow louder than even the cries of ponies at a fireworks display. Rarity stood stock still, as every noble and royal stared in horror at the "princess". Their gazes slowly turned from her, to Ash, and then to Marble, and slowly back to the princess again. The disguised unicorn could barely comprehend what had just happened, and though she felt like she wanted to cry, she didn't. Instead, she did something that shocked herself.

She turned to Ash, and tracked her gaze from him to Marble with a stern frown. Rarity wasn't sure of what she was saying before it had already come out: "I am very disappointed in both of you. I want you to go back to your homes, and think very carefully about what happened tonight, then come see me in Court tomorrow. Do you understand?"

Two timid replies of "Yes, princess" rose from them before they quickly scuttled off, giving each other accusing glares. However, Rarity couldn't care less at the moment. The party was destroyed, and the mood was lost entirely, thought the guests attempted their best efforts in reviving it to please their princess. It would have warmed the disguised unicorn's heart to see their surprising amount of devotion to Celestia, had she not already turned away for a distraction she sorely needed.

"Aunt Celly," greeted a bitter voice as she approached the table which bore most of the alcohol present at this disaster of a party. "You're here early this night. I suppose things aren't going as well as you'd like?" The voice of course belonged to that most hated of stallions, Prince Blueblood. Rarity couldn't help but smirk a bit; she could at least salvage this night by furthering her revenge on him.

"Not at all. Things are going very well, and I have another task for you."

Blueblood scoffed, downing a shot of very fine whiskey in a manner suited for neither the quality of the drink, nor royalty. When he let out a breath, he smirked in triumph. "I think not. You will have to find another toy." He grinned at the sight of the false-princess's smile slowly becoming outrage. Before she could make any demands, he turned his head to the cup-bearer. "Servant, another shot." As the pony obliged, Blueblood kept smirking, though his eyes were on the glass itself instead of "Celestia." "Aunt Luna told me everything, Madame Rarity."

The alicorn took a small step back, surprised, and she couldn't find the words to respond. As the cup-bearer finished refilling Blueblood's best friend, he idly ran a hoof along the edge. "You must think yourself so righteously justified. You make me sick."

Rarity's outrage overcame her speechlessness, and she scowled. "Why, of course! How could I not?" Blueblood casually shooed the cup-bearer away, and rolled his eyes as Rarity continued. "Your beastly behaviour that night five years ago? Why, I could not even begin to describe the humiliation and heartbreak you subjected me to, with your unspeakably churlish acts! Even going as far as to insult my friends! Why, I..." Rarity continued to ramble on and on, while the prince casually played with the shot glass. When he'd had enough, he took the shot and then, belying his earlier calm, he slammed the glass down with a resounding clatter.
The party paused for only the slightest of moments, and upon seeing the two ponies at the center of the event, decided it was best to go back to their business. "Oh please. Churlish behavior? Selfishness? Tell me something, madame, exactly what was I to you before that night?"

Rarity was surprised by the question even more than the sudden violence the prince displayed. "You were my prince in shining armor, my greatest fantasy born to life, my-"

"Stop right there," Blueblood demanded as he raised a hoof. "That is exactly what I mean. At what point did you ever consider what I wanted? And when did you even think of me as a pony, rather than just a trophy to place a ring on you?" Rarity's mouth just hung open, again speechless, and Blueblood snorted derisively, pouring himself more whiskey. "Since you don't seem to have your wits about you -- hardly surprising -- I'll wager: Never. Not once."

"That... That wasn't the way I meant it!" Rarity was firmly on the defensive now, and her expression was one of horror, that of a mare who had just had a horrible realization. "I didn't see you as just an object, but as a-"

"A dream?" The white stallion stared bitterly into his alcohol, and chuckled humorlessly. "Of course."

"That didn't give you the right to treat me in that fashion!" Rarity was more confused than angry, despite her choice of words. The prince waved a hoof.

"I treated you the same as I have treated every mare that has approached me for the same reason as you. But I had to put quite a lot more effort in scaring YOU away," he added with a mocking, flourishing bow. "You must feel so honored."

Rarity hung her head. "I... I have never considered it from that light... But still, your behaviour was contemptuous!"

Blueblood gave her an incredulous look, and then laughed. "Contemptuous? Contemptuous? Listen here. I work very hard, harder than you could even imagine. Do you think Equestria runs itself? Or that even the princesses, my aunts, can rule it all by themselves?" The stallion pointed a hoof at Rarity, causing her to step back again. "No. I am one of the cogs in the wheel that make this nation work. A rather large cog, in fact. I have a great many duties and responsibilities that would make your head spin!"

Rarity opened her mouth to respond, but was quickly cut off by Blueblood. "Let me tell you what is contemptuous, madame: A mare daring to believe she has the station to be mine when she has earned practically nothing for herself yet in life. What is contemptuous is the sheer amount of self-entitlement, believing I would throw myself at your hooves if you simply batted your eyelashes at me in just the right way. What is contemptuous is the fact that you still -- no matter how badly I had treated you -- stuck to me like dirt on a farmer's plow, even allowing me to insult the work and reputation of a pony obviously far more mature and hard-working than you, just so you could try to convince me to court you. But even worse, at least it is to me, is all the mares that only think of me as a ticket to prestige, honor, and perhaps even a larger purse. I am nothing more than a walking bag of bits to you, and every other mare that desires to court me!"

He shook in rage, glaring at the disguised mare with a very unsubtle hatred in his eyes. "That is what is contemptuous, you foul nag, so begone, and allow me to drown my woes in contemptuous loneliness. That's a great deal more preferable than being in your company for a moment longer!" He downed this final shot, and proceeded to furiously stare at the table in front of him. Rarity couldn't stop tears from coming to her eyes. For a moment, she forgot her disguise, forgot all her decorum and grace, and ran from this accursed party with hot tears staining both her cheeks and the ground she trotted on. Without a second glance, Blueblood called for the cup-bearer to return and proceeded to continue his search for drunken oblivion.

The Princess and the Pauper - What Have We Learned

Tossing and turning restlessly was not how Celestia normally wanted to spend her nights. Yet now she couldn't sleep, and she knew why: She simply couldn't reconcile her explanation for her thinking of Rarity with reality. That bothered her far more than the lack of sleep, for she wasn't really tired. The disguised alicorn slipped from the bed slowly, giving up on sleep entirely. Perhaps more work will keep my mind occupied, she reasoned. The irony of having to do work to relax when she was on vacation was not lost to her, but she pushed that to the back of her mind. Celestia turned to the bed, silently examining it. The sheets were hopelessly out of order, and the mattress cover had popped from a corner, facilitating its removal from practically the entire thing. Oh, if Rarity saw how I've mussed her... AGH! She slammed her head down into a pillow, the mental scream turning into a real one. No! No thinking about Rarity! Stop that!

Celestia practically galloped into the bathroom, and jerked the faucet in the tub to the on position, then turned and charged to Rarity's work-room to flip on the lights. She sat down in the very same chair the unicorn sat in while she worked, stared at the same sewing machine the element of generosity used to sew, and just hung her head. It had been a long time since Celestia was given to melodrama, but she flopped back from the chair and onto the floor. Just like Rarity. "AAAGH!" The thought was driving her mad! She rushed back to the bathroom, where the tub had filled just enough for the alicorn to dunk her head into it.

The water was freezing cold, and a gasp escaped the princess's muzzle, it rising to the surface of the water in a stream of bubbles. Despite how she shivered, the water had done the trick: it had cleared her mind of all thoughts for the moment. Using her magic to turn the faucet off, Celestia turned and leaned against the bathtub, slowly sliding down. This isn't me, she told herself. I am calm, I am collected, I am stoic and not taken to such silliness. Celestia took a deep breath, and as she let it out, she closed her eyes. It was time to use a trick she'd taught herself ages ago, long before Luna had left her. It had always helped her collect her thoughts, and work through her troubles. She just couldn't do it when there were others around.

Ignoring how her mane draped over her face, dripping onto the floor, Celestia focused on the cool of the water. She took another breath, this one softer, and slower, and so was the release. Three times she repeated this, each time growing even more soft. Once she felt relaxed, she waited for a few moments, before she spoke. "Why am I thinking of Rarity so?" Asking the question out loud helped her to focus entirely on it, the only noise in the silence. Her reply was a mere thought: Because she is a wonderful pony.

Celestia fought down the urge to resist that answer, to deny it. Now was not the time to allow her emotions to get in the way. This was progress. "Why is she so wonderful?" There was something a bit off about her own voice, but she couldn't afford the distraction. It is as I told Fluttershy: She is beautiful, she is intelligent. She cares for herself, but for others more. She winced slightly at that. I must remain impartial. Yet, she couldn't deny it.

Rarity was truly those things. There was no harm in admitting that at all. No bias was present. It was time to continue. "What does this mean?" Celestia was afraid now. Perhaps this was a bad idea. Perhaps she should stop now- No. "No," she repeated out loud, firmly. She was not abandoning this meditation simply for this. "Is it love?" The silence followed, her mind slipping back into turmoil once more. The alicorn had to regain control. She turned, and dunked her head into the water again.

This time, it was only half as effective, but it was enough. She leaned over the side of the tub this time, just in case she had to do it again, and she lifted her head up. The shock of the cold wouldn't help a third time. "Why is it a bad thing that you might be in love?" There it was. The ten thousand bit question. She focused as hard as she could, already knowing the answer but having a hard time getting it out. Eventually, she put her thoughts into order, and answered, I can't. It would show favoritism. I could perhaps do that with one of my other subjects. Any stallion or mare at all, but not one of them. She took a moment, before clarifying, Not one of the elements. It creates a conflict of interest, besides. The elements must do what is right for Equestria and the world at large, not just for me. I don't know if I could resist the temptation. Then, fear was introduced into the mix. The next question was obvious.

"Why are you afraid?" She swallowed, and began to tremble. How could I not be? Her thoughts put it forth bluntly. I don't want to be put into that position. If I were to start a relationship with her, I would eventually be that selfish. I would eventually make that mistake. Would she not curse me? Would she not call me a tyrant and leave me? She took a deep breath. Tears were coming to her eyes. I would have to control myself still, to PRETEND, and I want a pony I don't have to do that with. Somepony I can be free with.

"What about my sister?" Her voice was beginning to crack, and so was the princess. It's not the same. She's my beloved little sister, who I love dearly, more than my sun, but she is my sister, not a lover! Celestia clung tighter to the tub's edge. Somewhere along the line, she'd dropped the disguise, and those pink eyes gazing back in the water's reflection shocked her with how tormented they were. She let herself fall to the ground, and she curled up as tightly as she could, her eyes shut so tightly, no light came in through the lids.

"I don't want to pretend anymore," she began to wail, but she suddenly stopped before it could go any further. Her eyes opened again, wide as saucers, and she gaped for a moment. Celestia figured out what had been wrong with her voice the entire time, now that her concentration was broken, and she began to laugh. What started as her motherly, gentle chuckle turned into giggling, then outright guffawing! The alicorn had not laughed like this in years and years, and she laughed out loud, and long, until she cried. The voice she'd been speaking in this entire time was Rarity's, and it felt WONDERFUL.

The alicorn struggled to her hooves, still overcome by laughter. The tears had soaked her cheeks, and dripped to the floor, and yet still she laughed, until her cheeks turned blue. Celestia pulled in air, forcing herself to breathe, but that threw her into a coughing fit. At least the laughing had stopped. The coughs continued until she was hoarse, and only then did she begin to pant for air, smiling widely. "Oh Celestia, you are a silly pony," she spoke to herself, in her own voice. "What are you afraid of anymore?" Her magic grasped a towel, and she began to dry herself when she stopped to check a mirror. Bloodshot eyes, tear stained cheeks. "That won't do. I must look my best for tomorrow." She stepped to the sink, and began to wash her face. The water was cool, but not shockingly cold. It felt wonderful, and cleansing, though the alicorn suspected that was due to the torment of her mind ceasing.

It had come to a conclusion, and there was really only one possible outcome of this situation. She smiled to herself after drying off, and she went back to bed. Tomorrow, she would go back to Canterlot.

"Thy blubbering hath reached a level most unacceptable," Luna called through the locked bathroom door. In a reversal of the more common situation, it was the alicorn who was in the bathroom, not Rarity. The doors could be locked from either side, and could only be unlocked from the side from which they were locked in the first place. The unicorn laid upon Celestia's bed and bawled into it, as she had all night, and was showing no signs yet of stopping. At first, Luna had felt the sobbing mare had deserved what she had gotten, but now she was beginning to doubt the wisdom of her form of punishment. Or, rather, she had hours ago, and her guilt had faded into a deep-seated annoyance at the melodrama. "Thou wert foolish, as was our nephew. Surely, however, this is not as cruel a happenstance as thy grief entails?" That only made the crying louder, and Luna rolled her eyes. She knew she was terrible at cheering ponies up. That wasn't her job! Her job was just moving the moon, peeking in on dreams, and in general doing paperwork in a never-ending stream. That didn't give her much time for providing therapy.

Still, it was almost time for court, and Luna banged on the door with her hoof in an almost desperate attempt to bring the unicorn to bear. Rarity, to be fair, at least did not ignore it. "Oh, your highness, please just leave me to my sorrow! I have been such a terrible pony! The worst!" That last bit was wailed at a pitch that made Luna wince, and she could swear she heard a window behind the door crack. "Bar none! I should be thrown into a dungeon, never to see the sun again!" After a moment's pause, she added, "And the moon! It would also be terrible to not see it again!"

That didn't exactly help Luna's mood. We shall throw thee into the dungeon if thy whining does not cease, she almost said, but she bit it back. "Rarity, listen to us, and listen well. Your behavior aside, there are duties to which you must attend! Whether or not ye should be cast into a stone cell, there is court to perform, and Equestria needs its Princess to be there, whether or not that Princess is the one our subjects expect. Should thee fail to meet their expectations, we shall see quite clearly how deserving of royalty thou art!" It was a low blow, and Luna knew it, but she NEEDED Rarity to cooperate, and it worked. Or, at least, the crying stopped. The princess of the night took a deep breath, and continued a bit more softly, "They saw Celestia fleeing the party, crying. If they do not see ye this morn, they shall doubt her ability to rule, and it shall be thine own doing." There was a soft thump from inside the room, and the click of a lock unlatching was heard within it. Luna stepped back, allowing Rarity her space once the door was open.

She looked terrible. Her eyes were red from crying, there were clear dark circles under her eyes, and her mane was dulled, and matted. To anyone who could see this guise of Celestia, they would recoil in shock from how different she looked. Luna bit her lip as the unicorn stared at her silently, until finally, she spoke. "I must get cleaned up for it, first."

"Of course," Luna replied. That was all she could say. She had assumed Rarity was just being as overly dramatic as usual, but the look on her face was one of actual, genuine despair. She'd seen that look before, on her nephew's face. Usually after a party, and a few drinks. "We.... Shall wait in our room for thee," the alicorn barely managed before stepping out. Surely freshening up would help, and surely she would not be needed. She heard the water in the tub running just before she closed the door, and sat by the entrance, wondering if, perhaps she had gone too far after all herself.

Rarity was at least capable of playing a convincing Celestia when she arrived in the throne room. The nobles were a bit put off at the lateness of the event, but to Luna's relief, they seemed more glad to know their beloved princess was well. Rarity was not so thrilled, but she didn't want to show it. More for her sake than theirs, as she wasn't sure she could stop showing it if she began. She smiled warmly to the bowing crowd of nobles and commoners alike, though she couldn't keep a sad note from it. One of the guards tapped his spear on the floor and called out, "Their Royal Highnesses and beloved sisters, Princess Celestia, ruler of the sun and the daytime, and Princess Luna, ruler of the moon and the night-time, have now officially begun the period of open court. All rise, and bring your business to the throne in given order of appointment!"

At that, the first pony stepped forward, a noble by the name of Glimmer Dust. The pegasus's coat was beige, and his mane sandy blonde. He took a bow before the throne, and "Celestia" nodded to him with a smile, but couldn't help but notice the concern on the stallion's face. "Your highness, is... Something the matter? You were very upset last night, and-"

Rarity cut him off as gently as possible. "I am fine, my dear subject. It was merely a folly of mine." She gave him as reassuring a smile as possible, under the circumstances. The pegasus didn't seem convinced, but he at least left the subject alone, and went on with his business. The rest of the appointments went the same way: Each of the ponies, whether of high or low birth, expressed concern and their condolences for the Princess's troubles, but Rarity felt worse with each one. They're all sorry for Celestia, she thought bitterly. Not for me. They wouldn't feel sorry for ME, would they? She immediately felt ashamed of herself for it, but the sentiment was still there. She clarified to herself, I don't resent her highness! How could I? She is patient, kind, refined... Wonderful in all ways! It was sincere. Rarity adored the princess, as all her subjects did.

Luna noticed the foul mood Rarity had fallen under quickly, and raised a hoof to stop the line, before standing from her throne. "We realize that our subjects are all busy, and that some of ye hath waited long for thine appointments, but we must request a short break." Her "sister" started to object, but those present quickly left in a surprisingly organized manner, sneaking worried glances over their shoulder. Such was their love for their princess. The protest was forced down in a choke, and when the princess of the moon offered a hesitant embrace to Rarity, the latter began to cry again. Thankfully, it was far more subdued, this time. Just quiet weeping, rather than the epic whines of last night and this morning. The alicorn allowed if for a few moments, but Luna's patience wore thin quickly. "What troubles you? Is it Blueblood yet again? We have already forbidden him from entering court this morning on the grounds of last night's events."

Rarity managed to cease her crying, though a soft hiccup interrupted her. "N-No, I... It isn't him at all. It is just that... Oh, look at me! I don't belong here!" She stamped a hoof down onto the throne, and hung her head. "I've always had aspirations of being royalty! To be a part of what I thought was a wonderful, on-going drama! That there would be a sweet prince to sweep me from my hooves! But I was foolish, so foolish! I am but a common pony, and I simply don't understand the woes of royal life, how busy it is!"

Luna cleared her throat a bit awkwardly, and rubbed at her "sister's" back slowly, trying to comfort her. It was the only thing she could think of to do. Well, not the only thing. "Thy decisions hath been prompt, and ye hath shown thyself to be more than capable of completing royal duties. Thy only flaw is thine lack of emotional maturity." How the moon princess might say something of that nature with a straight face would surely just become a question for the ages.

Still, it made the disguised pony smile just slightly. "Thank you, your highness, but really... I am nothing compared to Celestia." For once fed up with pointless drama, Rarity wiped the tears from her eyes with a handkerchief she had stowed away behind Celestia's tiara, and looked to the door. "They all love Celestia so much, I can tell! But if it were me in this throne, they wouldn't have a single care." She quickly added, cutting off the inevitable blunt reply, "I know it's selfish. Horribly so! And so are my reasons for wishing to be royalty, and it makes it even worse that our dearest Princess Celestia is never so selfish!"

Luna shook her head at that, and removed her hoof from Rarity's back. "Our elder sister is quite often selfish. After all, she hath left her duties, put an untried unicorn in her place, and all for a small vacation." The alicorn rolled her eyes. "Ye hath proven thy worth, surely, yet such a decision was folly to begin with."

"I suppose." Rarity felt unconvinced, but before she could deliver a retort, the doors crashed open, and some of the petitioners rushed in. She recognized them after a moment: The one in front.. And the most distraught, was Fowl Play, from the night before. The other two were those two nobles from yesterday's court. She had already forgotten their names, or whether she had even been TOLD their names. But that thought was put aside for something far more disconcerting: All of them were utterly soaked, and covered in a mixture of tar and feathers. After them rushed in guards, though they were obviously there to deliver a message, not stop this intrusion. "What is the meaning of this?!"

The reply was a mix of voices from all of them at once! "We have a messa - broken and its EVERY - WHY DID THEIR LIVES HAVE TO END SO TRAGICALLY?! WHYYYY?!" That last wail, far over the volume of the other ponies, caused them all to stop and look at the lone mare amongst them. "What? It's horrible! And nopony cares!"

Luna glared down at Fowl, causing her to shut up almost immediately. Rarity, for her part, just decided to let the actual princess handle this. "We shall hear thy grievances one at a time." The princess of the night pointed a hoof to one of the guards. "We assume this is an urgent matter. Thou shalt tell us." After a pause, the alicorn leaned forward a bit. "Begin."

The guard took a deep breath, and pulled himself up into a far more disciplined stance so he could deliver his dispassionate report. "Your highnesses, there was a breach in the aqueducts underneath Canterlot's streets. The breach occurred in a warehouse that was, disturbingly, packed to the brim with crates of chickens, even though said warehouse was already occupied almost to it's maximum capacity with paving materials. Tar, to be specific." The corner of Luna's mouth turned up. "The breach flooded the warehouse explosively, causing it to collapse, and the chickens unfortunately drowned." Luna's smile got wider, and Rarity's pupils slowly shrank more and more as the guard spoke. A wail from Fowl cause him to pause in his report, but he still bravely marched on. "The containers holding the tar were breached, and a large wave of water mixed with tar, combining with the feathers of the lost chickens..." He stopped, trying to think of a professional way to put this. "... Crashed into the noble quarters of Canterlot, and vandalized property and pony both via..." He struggled again, for a few moments, before giving up. "Every noble in Canterlot has been tarred and feathered, your highnesses." Luna lost it at this, and nearly fell out of her throne from a sudden fit of giggles, much to the frustration of everypony else present.

Save for Rarity. RARITY was panicking. Ohnoohdear As soon as they find out how this happened, I am finished! She glanced about at the group, from pony to pony, trying not to look as distressed as she felt. And then the nobles broke out into arguing...

"This is all YOUR fault, with your overly indulgent swimming pool - My fault?! Your illegal reservoir is the cause of ALL of this - MY POOR CHICKENS, ALL DEAD - If you had a brain in your head at all, you would realize what a waste of time and bits your blasted garden is - My garden's absence wouldn't have prevented this flood, you nincompoop! - Who's idea was it anyway to put the chickens in there?! - PRINCESS CELESTIA TOLD ME THEY WOULD BE SAFE!" With every angry remark, Luna laughed harder and harder, but that stopped abruptly at Fowl's proclamation. She slowly turned her head to look to the disguised unicorn, who was now shaking.

"I-I'm... I'm sorry. I had thought the warehouse was empty, I must have missed a report..."

"Come to think of it, Princess Celestia gave use the solution to the water problem! - Yes, and the rerouting passed through some long unused, weakened pipes! She should have known better, she knows this city even better than I do - YOU PROMISED, PRINCESS!"

"I'M NOT PRINCESS CELESTIA!" Everything went dead again. Luna's eyes widened. The gathered petitioners gasped. The guards stepped forward, ready to pounce the imposter. Rarity... Didn't care. "I can't let her good name be besmirched like this! I am Rarity, the famous fashion designer, not Princess Celestia!" She was in tears again, and didn't even notice how confused the nobles were that they'd never even heard the name. Oh Rarity, if only you'd been more wise, more careful, more attentive... "I'm sorry, I did my best! I did everything I could to make things run smoothly, and it seemed like it was going so well! Then, last night, and I... I..." She hung her head, the deception now revealed. "I made a mess of EVERYTHING. Go ahead, arrest me! I deserve to be locked up, and the key throne into Tartarus!" Luna's eyes rolled as Rarity went into full on drama mode.

Then things got even worse. "Well, well, well," came a voice from the doorway. "What a SURPRISE, that my dear aunt's replacement is inadequate." Blueblood. He had a look of triumph on his face as he trotted forward. His head was held high, and he felt PERFECTLY vindicated now.

"Oh, it's TRUE," Rarity wailed. "I've destroyed Celestia's fair city - "

"The noble district only, and there are immense amounts of insurance involved," Luna corrected.

Not to be taken out of her roll of self-deprecation, Rarity continued with, " - managed to stuff a warehouse past its limits - "

"To be fair," Luna thought out loud while looking over a letter that had just appeared in front of her. "This warehouse was supposed to be empty."

Rarity actually smiled just a bit at that, but she forced that smile down. No! I don't DESERVE to smile! " - And I had water rerouted in a dangerous and irresponsible way!"

"I reviewed the report on that decision. It was a sound, wise judgement which benefited both parties," Luna reassured. "Really, it is mostly the fault of the one who rerouted it." She peered at the golden-maned stallion, who shrank back with a gulp. "Perhaps he did not know the aqueducts as well as he believed."

Rarity realized something, and turned her head slowly to Luna, blinking a few times. She ran over the last things the alicorn had said, questioning whether she had heard right. "Your... Your highness, you're speaking mostly normally. How can you be so calm at a time like this?!"

"Because she knows I am here to fix EVERYTHING," Blueblood proudly proclaimed. He opened a saddlebag with his magic, and began to fetch a quill and parchment for the coming task. "Whatever falls through the very few cracks my capable aunts have not plugged of course falls to me. I will begin immediately."

"Hurrah! - We're saved! - Oh, my poor chickens!"

Luna's expression had been very thoughtful since Rarity's rant had begun. She had gotten an idea, and was mulling it over carefully. Now, she had decided it really was the best decision. She straightened up, and stated, "No, you won't." There was no hint of unkindness or spite in her voice at all: it was just matter of fact. "Rarity was left with the full power and responsibilities of Celestia's position by my sister herself. I cannot overturn this decision, and neither may you, nephew."

"Oh no! - We're doomed! - They will never cluck again!"

Blueblood's face was frozen in shock, and Rarity leaned back, eyes as wide as saucers at this decision. "Wh-What?! But I can't... I don't..." She shook her head rapidly, which was an amusing sight: she was still in the guise of Celestia, as she was not quite sure how to turn that OFF. "There isn't any way I can think of to fix this!"

Luna frowned, and turned her head to her "sister". She stared for a long moment, making Rarity more and more nervous, before the alicorn turned her body fully to face her. An encouraging smile, an expression Luna did not often wear, appeared on her visage. "Rarity. You can. You must. Just think, consider your options."

"Yes, because as we all know, thinking through things is her strong point," Blueblood scoffed. He pointed a hoof at the disguised unicorn, and jabbed it a few times. "I know mares of her type, and they're all the same. They want what they can't have, and if they couldn't handle what they wanted if they did!" Rarity shot him a mournful look, but that sadness was beginning to be replaced by annoyance. "Sure, she may have made some good decisions, but they were marred by her haste! She never once considered the consequences of her actions! And furthermore-"

Something inside Rarity snapped. She'd taken enough abuse from the stallion last night, and whether or not this was deserved, there was a specific statement in there that struck her as incredibly boorish. And she was not going to let that go. "Now, hold on just ONE moment, you self-righteous cur!" Blueblood was stunned into silence, his mouth hanging wide open. Good, let the flies in, you brat! "I should consider the consequences of MY actions? MINE? Why, did not Princess Luna just not vindicate every decision I have made so far? It seems this is more an unfortunate series of events than any incompetence on my part -- And thank you, your highness, for not letting me linger in my self-loathing." Luna simply nodded, still smiling as the plan she had made begun to spring into action.

"Yes, but-"

"They'll never crow at the sun again, never to eat delicious corn and-"

"SILENCE!" The volume of that rang through the chamber, shutting Blueblood's reply down, and also finally ending the depressed rantings of Fowl Play, who had been mumbling the entire time. Rarity's look of anger cooled down slowly as she watched Blueblood actually tremble a bit. "Your highness, Prince Blueblood, I don't know who the mare is that hurt you so, that caused you such grief and rage in one. I cannot imagine what would bring any stallion to distrust and revile any suitors he may have, and I will not try." The unicorn's expression changed from one of sympathy to a stern glance, while Luna's horn glowed. Rarity didn't notice that her disguise had been utterly lost. "What I will do is tell you, in no uncertain terms, that whether or not we deserved it for being so selfish with our desires, we are not that mare."

She half-expected Blueblood to interrupt, but he was instead looking down at his hooves like a scolded colt. Reassured that she'd struck a chord, she continued. "Sometimes, ponies can be very selfish. And honestly, sometimes you need to be selfish. When the world bears its weight down on you, it gets very tiring. Sometimes, you just need some time alone, with your own thoughts, to get your bearings! Or perhaps to reward yourself with for a job well done!"

"But when you hurt others with this selfishness, that is when it becomes dastardly. You never thought of how we might feel anymore than how we thought of how you did!" The accusation made Blueblood wince, and close his eyes in shame. Rarity didn't feel satisfaction, just pity. "You simply wanted revenge. I can understand that, I did the same thing! It was just so much more easy for me to just take out my frustration on you than to learn about you, and why you did what you did. Revenge is easy, but it's also not satisfying! It just made the both of us feel worse about ourselves and each other."

"I don't blame you for being upset," Rarity concluded. "And right now, I need your help. I need the help of ALL of you, to get Canterlot through this crisis. Will you forgive me, and help me?"

For a moment, there was just silence. Rarity realized that she didn't need to do this by herself, she had the authority to have help. She could get through this only with the help of all those that had caused this mess in the first place, herself included. And it was that help she would get. Blueblood lifted his head, and gave a short nod, a smirk spreading on his muzzle once more. "Of course. If my aunts can't keep things running without my assistance, there's no way you can."

"I'll help for the sake of my garden! - It was my grievous error that caused most of this, I must help! - I'll help in memory of my poor, poor chickens!"

Rarity was beginning to be a bit disturbed by Fowl's obsessiveness, but Blueblood ignored it, clearing his throat. "I have to ask your forgiveness as well. In fact, I have a lot of mares to apologize to, really. I still honestly believe that they never wanted anything more from me than my title, but..." He hesitated a moment, before nodding. "You, at least, understand."

The unicorn smiled and hopped down from the throne. "Well! I forgive you, but I must insist we care for this matter! It's quite the disaster, and I would hate for us to be caught red-hooved in this matter. I just sincerely hope Princess Celestia doesn't hear of thi-"

The soft "ahem" rang through the throneroom, causing all those present (except Luna) to jerk their heads to the source. The TRUE Celestia was at the entrance, with an amused smiled on her muzzle. Rarity's eyes widened, and she immediately bowed, too terrified to even form words. The nobles followed suit immediately after, and Blueblood even had a look on his face that clearly showed he expected to get at least SOME form of punishment for this mess. The sun princess strode forward, regardless. "I see you have a bit of a problem?"

Luna was the only pony who could form words. "Hello, sister. I received your letter." Rarity glanced up, incredulously. How had she not gotten the connection?! "Yes, there has been a disaster, but one easily solved. And of great amusement!" Celestia chuckled at that response, and she lowered her head to nuzzle at the top of Rarity's own. Luna smirked just a bit. "I believe that this pony has been put through Tartarus and back, to use the modern vernacular."

"I can see that. Rise, Rarity. Do not fear. I already know what's transpired, and I agree with Luna. You did your very best. We have something very important to talk about, but first..." She looks around. "I want the flow of water to that area shut off immediately. A supply of solvents can be found in with the tar shipments, just in case, and the crates likely held when the tar did not. Have the disaster relief teams apply this solvent." Celestia's eyes locked on Blueblood. "You, nephew, are in charge of these efforts." Then on Rarity. "Rarity, that was a wonderful lesson you learned. And taught Blueblood, to boot." She smiled after the stallion as he left to attend to his duties, with the rest of the nobles. "I have something very important we must do, however.

"There... Is?" Relief at the princess's lack of anger turned to alarm. I don't know if I can handle even more of this! The unicorn looked nervously back at Luna, who was busying herself with some of the reports from the incident already. She'd be no help. "I do have to say, your highness, that I am exhausted, and I don't know if I can-" She was cut off by a kiss. A gentle kiss, but one to the unicorn's lips. Rarity's eyes flew wide open, and her heart began to race. The princess, THE Princess, of the land of Equestria, the most powerful and influential nation in the world, was KISSING HER. A million emotions ran through her all at once, the chief of them being confusion, surprise, and... Joy. Oh yes, this was definitely not objectionable, Rarity decided, and she closed her eyes to press back into it. It was a few moments before Celestia pulled away, and smiled warmly. The smaller mare was left a bit overwhelmed. That kiss hadn't been a passionate one, just a simple meeting of lips, but... Amazing...! "T-To what do I owe this very unexpected honor, princess?"

"Rarity, I am deeply, desperately in love with you, and I hope that you will stay in Canterlot just a bit longer, else my heart may burst." Luna rolled her eyes. Rarity was certainly not the only pony here sometimes taken with drama. For her part the unicorn blushed furiously. That declaration was something she had always desired to hear, but from a PRINCE, not a princess. Still, the mare wasn't sure at all that she disliked this attention, or the feelings behind them,

"I believe," she said after a moment's deliberation, and only then slowly. "That this is something I think I can do for you, princess." She smiled, that wonderful, sincere smile that Celestia had before admired, and the alicorn blushed. Rarity decided she liked that. A lot. "I never thought I could attract the attention of an alicorn, if you'll.. Pardon the rudeness."

Celestia could understand how overwhelming this might be, and drew back a step. "If you're uncomfortable, I will-" It was HER turn to be cut off by a kiss, and this one was a bit more... Involved than the last! That caused the blush to turn into an all out flush, and the princess eagerly returned the gesture. Rarity considered that the sudden passion might just be an expression of her frayed nerves, but she just didn't CARE right now.

"Get thee both to a room," Luna proclaimed with a huff. "Some of us have actual duties to attend to!" That caused both ponies to pull back immediately, embarrassed, while the princess of the night went back to the reports. mumbling about obscenities and public displays of affection.

Her older sister watched Rarity as the latter looked about, nervously scuffing a hoof on the floor. Truly, she was not handling this with the best of grace and poise. Celestia preferred it that way. "So, do you still wish to be royalty, my dearest subject?"

The way she had said dearest made the unicorn even more nervous, but she gathered herself in time to reply honestly. "Perhaps, but..." Rarity took a deep breath, and let it out explosively. "I still feel quite inadequate in this duty you provided for me. I think I understand why I shouldn't aspire to royalty, now. It is a great deal more work than I had thought, and I don't know if I am ready, or will ever be so, for something like this to be an everyday occurence!" She paused a moment. "That IS what you wished me to learn, wasn't it?"

Celestia chuckled softly, and winked to the unicorn softly, speaking as she lead Rarity out of the throne room with a wing over her back. "Oh, no, Rarity, not at all." There was a beat as the unicorn looked up to the princess, wondering where she possibly went wrong. After a moment's pause, Celestia laughed, and looked down to meet Rarity's gaze with a mischievous twinkle in her eye. "I just wanted a vacation!"