Chapters Finding Myself as a Flightless Filly
Finding Myself as a Flightless Filly
Chapter 1
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Burning. That’s all I can feel. A searing, white hot pain coursing through my body as I tumble through what seems like a void of white light.
Where am I? What’s going on? Who am I? When and how did I get here? Was this how things have been since the beginning?
I don’t know, and none of these questions are being answered as I plimmit through this endless void of white and pain.
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“Scoots? Squirt? Hey, guys! I think she’s waking up!”
I know that voice. It’s Rainbow Dash.
I slowly open my eyes, something that takes more effort than it really should and see a blurry world around me.
At once I feel something warm wrap around me and hear the sound of sniffling.
“I— I thought we’d lost you, Squirt,” Rainbow’s voice comes, her sobs seeming to rack her body as she held me.
I’d never seen Rainbow Dash cry before. This was weird.
“She’s here, Rainbow. Let her hold her daughter, okay?” Twilight Sparkle’s voice says from somewhere.
Dash reluctantly pulls away from me and I’m suddenly encompassed by a pink something this time.
“Oh, Scoots! Don’t ever scare me like that again,” my mom, Cadance’s voice says.
I give a small weak smile and nod. “Okay, Mom. Sorry.”
My vision clears enough for me to see again. Rainbow Dash and all her friends are standing around. They all look like they’ve been crying.
Once Mom lets me go I lay back against the pillow of the bed I know realize I’m lying in. I’m in a hospital gown.
“Um... what happened?” I asked, looking around at them all. “Why am I in the hospital?”
Mom has tears in her eyes and she wipes them away. Twilight is the one to answer.
“You fainted, Scootaloo. Can you tell us the last thing you remember?”
I frowned, closing my eyes as I try to remember what happened before I woke up to find Rainbow Dash hugging me.
“It was... two days after that Tirek guy came and stole all our magic,” I said, rubbing my head, trying to keep my mind focused. “Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle and I were trying to get our Cutie Marks in... um... I dunno. We were trying to get Cutie Marks, anyway. We’d just finished and were heading over to Sugarcube Corner for a snack. I remember suddenly feeling really tired and falling over and... That’s it. I don’t remember anything after that.”
I open my eyes and look around at all the adult ponies.
I frown. “Where’re Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle?”
Applejack sighed. “They’ve been stayin’ up fer nights on end, tryin’a figure out how ta wake ya, sugarcube. We sent ’em home only an hour ago to finally get some rest. They ain’t slept well since ya’ll were admitted.”
“How long was that?” I asked and they all glance at each other, as if worried about something. “What?”
Rainbow Dash takes a deep breath, as if steadying herself for some reason. “Scoots, don’t be alarmed, but you’ve been out for almost three weeks.”
My eyes widen. Three weeks? I was out for three weeks ?
I move to sit up, but that’s when I notice something I’m wearing other than the hospital gown. There’s something wrapped around my flanks. Something cushy.
I frown. “Why am I wearing a diaper?”
Mom gives me an apologetic smile. “Sorry, honey. You wouldn’t wake up, so we couldn’t get you to use the bathroom, so the doctors put diapers on you so you wouldn’t wet the bed.”
I raise an eyebrow. “Well, I’m awake now, so can I take it off?”
Twilight shook her head. “I wouldn’t advise that, Scootaloo. You’re body’s really tired right now. Do you feel you’ve enough strength to walk to the bathroom?” She pointed a hoof to a door on the wall to my right.
I try to get up, but suddenly feel really tired. It was as if my body wasn’t used to me moving at all. If I didn’t know any better, I’d think I’d been dead.
I pout. “No. I feel really tired.”
Twilight nodded. “Well then, for the sake of your bedsheets, until you can move on your own to the bathroom, you’ll have to wear those diapers.”
I turn away, before I give her a really ugly look. She might be the Princess of Friendship, but she’s not too tactful when it comes to handing out bad news to somepony. A lot of the fanfics involving her certainly capture that.
Wait. What? What fanfics? Where in the hay did that come from?
“Come on, girls,” Twilight said, ushering the other mares aside from my mom out, her voice pulling me away from my confused thoughts. “Let’s let Scootaloo get some rest. She needs it.”
Rainbow smirked. “And ponies say I’m lazy,” she joked. “You wake up after sleeping for three weeks and seconds later, you wanna rest again. Talk about lazy, Squirt.”
I give a slow, weak wink. “Sure, Dash. Whatever you say.”
Mom give me a final hug, whispering, “I love you, honey. Always remember that, okay?” before pulling back and leaving the room with the others.
I look around the room as the door closes. It’s pretty much your average hospital room. Light-blue painted walls, a few chairs for visitors to sit in, a window showing a garden outside, nothing special.
I lean back and smile. Man, my mom and Rainbow Dash are the best ponies ever. They’re even better than the show portrays them. I blink. What?
I sit up, frowning. “Show? What show? The Wonderbolts shows? Is that what I’m thinking about?” I ponder over this for a few second before shaking my head. “No. I wasn’t talking about the Wonderbolts shows. But, what show involving Rainbow Dash could I possibly be thinking about then?”
A mournful sigh comes from somewhere I can’t see. “I had honestly hoped this wouldn’t happen.”
There was a popping noise and suddenly Discord was standing by my bed, looking even sadder than right after Tirek had taken his magic away, or back when he was apologising to Fluttershy after Twilight got Tirek to let him go.
I froze. What? How do I know that? I wasn’t with them when that happened. I was lying on the ground, barely able to move after my inner magic had been taken. What was going on?
Discord pulled a chair over and clicked his clawed fingers. “I’m sorry.”
At once my eyes widened as I was slammed by memories of another world. Hands and fingers, humans and animals, TV shows, including one about this world, writing fanfics, going to work, talking with work friends.
I held my hooves to my head as the memories poured in, conflicting with the memories of my life in Ponyville after Mom let me come here so I wouldn’t get teased and bullied by the Canterlot fillies and colts.
Once the memory onslaught stopped, I stared at Discord, my eyes wide with fear and rage.
“What have you done?!” I shouted, pointing a hoof at him. “Why have you put me in Scootaloo’s body?”
I remember who I am now. I am Mike Johns, known online as Autum Breeze, an MLP FiM fanfic writer. I have two bothers and three sisters. I live in Australia, on Earth.
However, the last thing I remembered of that life was posting the latest chapter of my fic Wings, a Horn and Hooves, the chapter linking it to the season four finale and then... I woke up here, thinking I was Scootaloo.
Discord looked away.
Were... were those tears in his eyes?
“I... I just wanted to make my friends happy again,” he sobbed.
I reeled back. Discord... sobbed? He really just sobbed? I know he’s a good guy 100% since the end of season four but... I don’t think I ever heard him sob before.
“What...? What happened?” I asked, more softly this time. While I don’t know what’s going on, I can’t just be mean to someone... er, Discord when he seems really upset about something, can I?
Discord looked at me, his eyes already red from crying. Man, that chaos magic can really suck for him sometimes, huh?
He sighed. “I suppose you know about the whole Tirek taking everypony’s magic, right?”
I nodded. I was getting a very bad feeling about this. Scootaloo’s memories about how it felt to have your magic drained out of you wasn’t helping, either. I shivered as I wrapped my forelegs around me.
Discord sighed. “Well, I suppose you know how Scootaloo had yet to fly before that, then?”
I nodded again. I really didn’t like where this was going, not to mention I felt a little insulted by his talking about how I couldn’t fly.
How Scootlaoo couldn’t fly, Scootaloo ! I cannot let myself start thinking as if I’m her.
Discord looked away. “Tirek took all the pegasi’s flight away from them.”
I raised an eyebrow. “Yeah. So what?”
“At the time, Scootaloo didn’t have any flight to be taken.”
I shrugged. “You point is?”
“Something else was taken.”
Another shiver, far worse than the one from before went down my back, making my wings buzz uncomfortably.
I inwardly shook my head. Stop thinking about this body as if it’s yours. It’s not. It’s Scootaloo’s!
“Wh-what was taken?” I asked, though personally I didn’t want to know. This was sounding really creepy and that’s saying something when you’re someone who’s been yanked out of their world by a master of chaos and placed into the body of a Pegasus filly from a television show.
“Her essence.”
That cold shiver suddenly felt like a blizzard spreading throughout my— Scootaloo’s body.
“Wha...? What do you mean?” I squeaked.
Discord looked down at the floor. “After Twilight and the others all returned magic to Equestria, Scootaloo seemed to be back to normal too. However, her spirit was badly damage from the temporary loss of her essence and... well...”
“That’s why I woke up here,” I said, finishing it for him. I frowned. “But... what happened to me, back on Earth?” I wince as I feel a pain in the back of my head. “And why does it feel like something hit me in the head, yet I don’t feel a bump or anything?”
Discord sighed again. “The girls were all distraught while Scootlaoo was here, unconscious. Rainbow Dash didn’t even come out of the room. She was here the whole time, watching you, waiting for you to wake up.”
“For Scootaloo, you mean,” I said quietly. I’d wanted to correct him sharply, to remind him that I’m not Scootaloo, but, from the atmosphere of the room, I couldn’t bring myself to.
“When I searched your world for a spirit that could help her recover, I saw what you wrote in that message to Night Mist.”
I blinked, then glared. “Were you spying on my private messages? There's a reason they’re called private , Discord. And you actually hit me in the head with a frying pan?" I let out an exasperated sigh. "Look, Scootaloo’s obviously fine now, so just take me out of her body and send me back to my world and we’ll both forget this ever happened, okay? I won’t even write a fanfic about it.”
Discord looked... ashamed? “I can’t.”
I frown. “What do you mean, “I can’t”? You’re Discord, master of chaos. You can do things every single pony and other living creature in this world can only dream of. And you pulled me into your world; you can easily send me out, right?”
Discord sighed. “The only reason I was able to visit your world is because Tirek upset the balance between the worlds.”
I raised an eyebrow. “That sounds like something out of a Doctor Who episode... or Doctor Whooves, even.”
Discord looked away. “I was desperate, and that message you sent to your friend was an open invitation.”
I scowl. “So, you just took me, without even asking?” his silence was my answer. I face hoof. “Okay. Why can’t you send me back?”
“You took a while to fit in Scootaloo’s mind and synchronise with it. By the time you woke up... the worlds had sealed themselves again.”
I sighed. “You only copied me, right? Just a fragment of my mind? I’m still okay, back on Earth?”
He somehow looked even more ashamed. “I’m so, so sorry, Autum.”
I frown, both by what he said and what he called me. “So, you’re going to address me by my user name?”
He looks at me, not saying anything.
I roll my eyes. “Fine. But, why do you still look sad? If I’m only a fragment of my real world self’s memories, I can live with that.”
He shook his head. “You’re dead.”
Silence.
I stare at him. “Wha...? What?” I manage.
He clicks his fingers and a television appears in front of me. On it I can see my family, all standing around a coffin... crying. I can see my mother, my father, my brothers and sisters... but I don’t see me. The picture on the screen showing who the funeral was for... was me.
I slowly turn to Discord. “I’m... dead?”
Discord slumped, tears still sliding down her face. “If I’d only been more careful, a small piece of you would’ve been all I’d have taken. Just enough to heel Scootaloo, but I... I—”
I stared down at the hooves that felt like they were my own. “You... You took all of me. You... left my human body with no spirit.”
Discord gave a weak nod.
Rage filled my very being and I snarled at him. “YOUR RUINED MY FAMILY’S LIFE! I WAS THE FIRST BORN. NOW MY PARENTS, MY BROTHERS AND SISTERS, MY AUNTS, UNCLES, COUSINS, THEY ALL THINK I’M DEAD AND IT’S YOUR FAULT! TWILIGHT SHOULD’VE LET THE OTHERS TURN YOU BACK TO STONE IN EPISODE ONE OF SEASON FOUR! YOU’VE RUINED MY WHOLE FAMILY’S LIVES JUST TO SAVE SOME CARTOON FILLY!”
Discord sobbed, whimpering as he shrank down against my rage-filled onslaught.
“WHAT UP AM I SUPPOSED TO DO NOW? I CAN’T LIVE AS SCOOTALOO! I’M A HUMAN! YOU’VE RUINED EVERYTHING YOU HEARTLESS MONSTER! GET OUT!”
“B-but—” Discord stammered.
“GET OUT!” I screamed, my eyes wide with murderous rage. “IF I EVER SEE YOU AGAIN I’LL KILL YOU! DO YOU HEAR ME, DRACONEQUUS! I WILL KILL YOU! LEAVE AND NEVER RETURN, YOU MURDERING BASTARD!”
Discord’s lips quivered before he vanished with a popping sound.
The door opened and the ponies from before came running in, worry on their faces.
“Scootaloo’s what’s wrong?” Cadance asked, coming up to me. “We heard you screaming from down the hall.”
I stared at her, Scootaloo’s memories of her mother flooding my mind.
I burst into tears. This was too much. I couldn’t handle this.
Cadance wrapped her hooves and wings around me, and started saying comforting words, but they fell on deaf ears.
Her hugging me only made it worse as a feeling of love that I knew wasn’t mine came to the surface and caused me to cry even harder.
Author's Note
well, here;s one of the two new fics i thought up.
not sure when I'll post another chapter of this, got some other things i wanna do first, but I will get around to it. i just needed to get this one out before I forgot about it.
So, yeah, I made Cadance Scoots' mother. Don't hold that against me, please. I just didn't want this to be another scoots' an orphan fic and after going through all of the female characters, i decided on Cadance because of a picture i saw that made me think they could be related.
hope you enjoyed this first chapter and please leave a comment.
later, everypony
Finding Myself as a Flightless Filly
Chapter 2
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Cadance slumped in the chair in the waiting room and put her face in her hooves.
It had been three days since Scootaloo had woken up. Despite how she was acting like herself when she first woke up, something had happened while they’d all been outside the room.
When Scootaloo had burst into tears, Cadance had tried to comfort her daughter, but, for some reason, that just seemed to make things worse and she’d cried even harder.
Even when she’d calmed down, Scootaloo hadn’t spoken to any of them. She just lay in her bed, not meeting anypony’s eyes.
Cadance felt somepony sit next to her and glanced to see Twilight sitting next to her on her left, Applejack on her right.
“What have I done wrong?” she asked, as tears slid down her face. “Why is she acting like this?”
Both ponies looked away, sadness in their eyes.
The sound of whooves on tiles made them all turn to the door to Scootaloo’s room, to see both Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy walking out, disappointment on their faces.
“Guessin’ it didn’ go so well, huh?” Applejack asked solemnly.
Rainbow Dash shook her head.
Fluttershy had tears in her eyes.
“She wouldn’t even look at us,” the cyan mare sighed. “What’s up with her?”
“I hate seeing her like this,” Fluttershy sniffled. “I just want to help her, but I don’t know what to do.”
Applejack looked to Cadance. “Uh, princess? If’n Ah might ask: how exactly is Scootaloo yer daughter? Ya’ll never actually told us.”
Cadance looked to Applejack and sighed.
She’d only ever told one pony who still lived today. Celestia.
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Year 1203AD (After Discord)
Cadance waited anxiously in the hospital waiting room, pacing back and forth.
She’d been late this month and the month was almost over and she was still late. She hadn’t wanted to believe it, but she had to know.
Doctor Stable, a brown coated unicorn stallion with a light-brown mane and a stethoscope Cutie Mark walked through the door, levitating a clipboard in his magic.
Cadance turned and hurried over to him. “Doctor? What’s going on? Am I...?”
Doctor Stable smiled. “Congratulations, Your Highness. You’re with foal.”
Cadance’s eyes widened.
She sighed. She’d have to break it to her husband. He hadn’t wanted a foal so early, but they didn’t really have a choice now.
She thanked him and left, heading for the side of the castle where the noble Starfire family resided.
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She stood in front of the room, hesitating. They’re marriage hadn’t been official, or at least, not public. If anypony learned about this, there was no telling how they’d react.
She took a deep breath and knocked on the door.
“Enter,” a calm, gentle, yet firm voice from the other side.
Cadance smiled and entered the room.
It was a large room, though smaller than her own, filled with artworks strewn on the walls of Nobility and herself and her aunt.
Sitting at a desk by a four poster bed was a young orange coated Pegasus stallion with a dark purple mane and tail and a light-shaped hammer Cutie Mark.
“Lightning?”
The Pegasus turned and smiled. “Cadance. Glad to see you again.” He put a quill he’d been using it the ink-pot on his desk, got up and walked over to Cadance, pulling her into a hug. “You know, I hate that, even though we’re married, protocol still dictates that we live separately until a month after the wedding.”
“That’s the least of our worries right now,” Cadance said quietly.
Lighting Star pulled a bit back, raising an eyebrow. “What’s wrong? Has your cousin been a jerk to you again? That little worm really needs to learn to respect his elders.”
Cadance gave a playful frown. “Are you saying I’m old?”
Lightning grinned cheekily. “Well, you’re older than me, anyway.”
She nudged him, giggling, then looked down. “Lightning... I’m... I’m pregnant.”
Lightning stared, wide-eyed. “Seriously?”
Cadance nodded, not meeting his eyes. She just knew he’d be furious. He’d want to break up the marriage and leave her to care for the foal on her own and suffer the indignation she’d receive from the other nobles as well as her accursed cousin.
He pulled her into a stronger hug. “I’ll help you, Cady. We’ll get through this together.”
Cadance’s looked up at him with shock, then smiled and leaned into him. I knew I’d married the right stallion.
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Cadance wiped the tears from her eyes. She’d been crying for over an hour.
She reread the message she’d been given by one of her personal guard.
Dear Princess Mi Amore Cadenza,
I am very sorry to tell you that tonight, at 7:32pm, the newly appointed Prince Lightning Star, dead at the Harboring Bar.
He was just visiting. He has been a funder to ensure that our bar remained open to those who enjoyed coming here.
A fight broke out between several stallions. I still do not know what the argument was about, but it became very heated, very quickly. Your husband seemed to realize things were going to get violent very quickly and tried to step in and stop the fight.
However, he stepped in just as a very dangerous spell was released and he was in the firing line.
We tried to save him, while waiting for the ambulance cart to arrive. But, by the time they got there... he was already gone.
I am sorry, Princess. He was a noble noble and a great stallion. We will honour him in our bar always.
Again, my deepest condolences, I so sorry this happened.
Far Cry, owner of Harboring Bar
Cadance looked down at her three month pregnant stomach, rubbed a hoof against it and sobbed.
“I’m so sorry,” she managed, her tears falling onto her stomach. “You’ll never get to meet your daddy.”
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A cloaked figure stood in front of a door to a small house with yellow paint on the walls.
They glanced around, then knocked on the door.
A few moments later it opened to reveal a dark-mulberry coloured Earth Pony stallion with a white mane and tail and a square, flat-topped hat with a tassel Cutie Mark.
“Regal Script,” the figure said, her voice quiet. “Can I please come in?”
Regal Script looked shocked for a second, then moved aside and allowed the cloaked figure in.
They walked in and he led them to a living room with a small couch with floral pattern designs.
The figure sat down and took their hood to reveal Princess Cadance.
Regal sat down next to her, concern on his face. Her eyes were red and puffy. “Princess, what’s wrong?”
The alicorn sighed and lifted a small basket from under her cloak. Inside the basket was a sleeping orange coated, purple-maned Pegasus foal.
He looked to the foal, then up to the princess.
“You know about how my husband died several months ago, don’t you?” Cadance said, her voice sounding close to cracking.
Regal nodded, his face solemn. “I do. I felt great sadness at his lose. One of the few truly noble nobles left in this world.”
“This is his child,” Cadance said, stroking the foal’s mane, a few tears in her eyes.
Regal glanced down in shock, then looked to the princess again. “Cadance, I was your tutor when you tried to mingle with the modern young ponies of today and I've always been able to tell when something has been bothering you. What is this really about?”
Cadance looked at him as the tears slid down her muzzle. “I came to ask if you will look after her for me.”
Regal’s eyes widened to the size of sauce-pans. “Me? Your High— Cadance, why would you ask me to do that? Can you not do so yourself?”
Cadance looked down at her foal, her eyes filled with great sadness. “I want to, Regal. I want to raise her more than anything is this whole world. But, if she were to be raised in Canterlot right now, her life would be miserable. The nobles would treat her either like garbage, or as a means to get closer to the throne. I cannot put her through that. Until my aunt can settle things with the nobles, I must ask you to look after her.”
She levitated the foal into his forehooves, sniffling.
“I will come and visit. I don’t want her to think I’ve abandoned her. When the time is right, I will see if she wants to return to Canterlot. Will you look after her?”
Regal looked down at the sleeping foal, and smiled, turning to the princess. “Of course, Cadance. My daughter has been wanting to take up foalsiting ever since she got her Cutie Mark, as preparation for handling fillies and colts in a classroom. She’ll just be helping me do so long term.”
Cadance gave a weak smile, leaned down and kissed her foal on the forehead.
“I love you, Scootaloo. Mommy will always love you.”
With that, Cadance put her hood back on, bid Regal farwell, asking him to give his daughter her best wishes and left, flying off back towards Canterlot, feeling a hole in her heavy heart at having to leave her daughter behind.
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Everypony stared at Cadance as Twilight held her, rubbing her back with a hoof.
“You did the right thing, Cadance,” the other alicorn assured her. “Scootlaoo grew up happy, here in Ponyville. You were right. The nobles truly would’ve made her life miserable.”
“Then why is she acting like this now?” Cadance sobbed, her voice muffled slightly by Twilight’s fur. “Why doesn’t she even want to talk to me?”
Twilight remained silent. I wish I knew, Cadance. I wish I knew.
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I heard the door close and sniffled.
Finally. They left me alone. I didn’t want to speak to any of the ponies. I didn’t want to speak with anyone at all.
My heart was aching so much I was sure I was going to die from it.
My family think I’m dead. They think I’m dead .
I’d figured it out. According to Discord, it had taken about a week for my spirit to meld with what little was left of Scootaloo’s. That week, from the looks of things, had been several months, back on Earth. Most likely, seven, following the logic of time difference between the two worlds presented in My Little Dashie (though there it had been a day in Equestria equals a year on Earth, it still had the same principles).
Seven months. My family thought I was dead for seven months. They still think I’m dead. And, if what Discord showed me was true, I didn’t have a body on Earth to go back to anymore, even if I did find a way back. After the funeral, my human body would no doubt have been cremated.
I tightened the blankets around me. What was the point of my life now? It wasn’t my life! It’s wasn’t even Scootaloo’s either. What did I have left now?
A happy memory of Scootaloo and Cadance flying, Scootlaoo on Cadance’s back played through my mind and I shook my head, ignoring the happy feelings in my heart from that memory.
It wasn’t my happiness and it wasn’t my memory.
What was the point of my existence? I’m not me and I’m not Scootaloo. So what am I? What point is there in my going on?
I sit up and turn to the bathroom.
Maybe I could drown myself and this would all be just a bad dream.
I give a weak smile. A bad dream. I wish I could believe that. At the very least, I’d be freed from this torture Discord had thrust upon me.
I struggle to get up and flop on the floor. Scootaloo’s memories help me figure out walking and I head for the bathroom, ignoring all the happy memories playing out in my mind, no doubt my survival instincts trying to stop me from killing myself.
I ignore them. They weren’t making it harder to do this. They were just reinforcing my decision to do so. These weren’t my memories. This isn’t my body. Cadance isn’t my mother. This is not my world!
I go up to the sink and fill it with water. I can make it look like an accident. That way, none will feel responsible.
I was about to plunge my head into the water, when something flickered out the corner of my eye.
I looked up to the mirror. All I saw was Scootaloo’s face staring back at me, looking miserable and ready for death.
I decided I’d just imagined it. I get ready to plunge my head yet again, when a voice shouts, “Halt, Scootaloo!” and Princess Luna’s face appears in the mirror.
I hit my head on the floor, the exact same spot Discord hit me with that frying pan and the pain returns, reminding me just how much it hurts to get whacked in the back of the head.
I look up as Princess Luna seems to phase through the mirror and gently lands in front of me.
I scowl. “I’m not Scootaloo. I’m not one of yours or your sister’s subjects, so just leave me alone and let me die in peace.”
The lunar princess just looks down at me with pity and... scorn?
“You think there is no point to your life?” she asked, in an almost sarcastic tone, if I didn’t know Luna better from the show.
I snort. “Of course there isn't. I’m not Scootaloo and I’m not me either. What good would it do for something like me to continue existing?”
Luna raised an eyebrow slightly at the word “something”. “You think all problems will be solved with your death?”
I nodded. “What good would my continued existence do in this world?”
Luna shook her head. “Have you considered how others would feel at your passing?”
My scowl turned into something far darker. I don’t know what that would be called, but it became it. “I’ve seen what my passing has done. I saw my family as they mourned my death.”
“One of them, yes.”
I blinked, before I realized what she was implying.
“Those ponies aren’t my family, Luna ,” I retort, saying her last name like an insult. “Scootaloo’s already dead.”
Luna shook her head slightly. “Not to them, she isn’t.”
I blinked, my dark look turning into a simple frown. “What do you mean?”
“Do you wish to see what will truly happen if you end your life here and now?” she asked and I narrowed my eyes.
“You couldn’t show me that unless I was—”
There was a flash of blue light and the world went black.
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When sight returned to me I was standing in a black, star-filled void, with Luna standing next to me.
I scowl at her. “I take it this is the dream realm, where you visit other ponies’ dream?”
She nodded. “But, as you know, I can also use it to show the future of one’s actions before they play out.”
I roll my eyes. “Fine. Let’s just get this over with so I can kill myself and be free from this accursed life I’ve had thrust upon me.”
Luna nodded and turned to face ahead of us. “First, the first reaction you death would have on this world.”
Her horn glowed and we were standing in the hospital room I’d been in seconds ago.
The door silently opened and Cadance walked in slowly.
“Scootaloo?” she said, her voice soft. “Honey, are you awake?”
She noticed the bed was unoccupied.
“Scootaloo?” she asked, glancing around.
She noticed the bathroom door slightly open. She walked towards in, clearly with the intent to close it, when she noticed a trickle of water coming through the open crack.
“Scootaloo?” she called again, a small giggle entering her voice. “Did you have an accident in there?”
However, when she got no reply, the smile on her face vanished.
“Scootaloo?”
She pushed the door open and her eyes went wide with horror as she saw Scootaloo’s face buried in the water, her body slumped, her wings hanging limp.
“SCOOTALOO!”
Her horn glowed, her aura enveloping Scootaloo and pulling the filly to her and she held the Pegasus in her forehooves.
The orange Pegasus lay limply in her forelimbs, not moving, not breathing.
“No,” Cadance whispered, tears welling in her eyes. “Scootaloo? Honey? Please! Please, open your eyes! Breathe! Breathe!”
The filly did not respond.
The wail that erupted from Cadance was full or remorse, grief and hopelessness beyond anything imaginable.
Hoofsteps were heard and the mane six and Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom rushed in and hurried over to her, only to freeze when they saw Scootaloo lying limp in Cadance’s grip.
Fluttershy and the fillies burst into uncontrollable tears, Applejack and Rarity started, horrified, Twilight had tears streaming down her muzzle, Pinkie Pie’s mane and tail went flat and she started crying and Rainbow Dash just stared, seeming numb to the world as all her focus was on the limp form in front of her.
I turned to Luna, glaring. “I-if you’re trying to make me feel guilty about this, it won’t work,” I said, then looked away and wiped my eyes on a forehoof.
True, this hadn’t changed my plans, I still had every intention of stopping this madness, but seeing those ponies like that... you’d have to be heartless not to feel saddened by it.
Luna nodded, though something about her expression told me she didn’t believe me. “Let us see what else will enfold from these event, shall we not?”
Before I could answer, her horn glowed and we were pulled into the dream realm of future sight again.
Princess Celestia knocked on Cadance’s bedchamber. “Cadance, please, come out?” she almost begged. “It has been months and you’ve barely eaten anything or spoken to your subjects since the funeral.”
She was only met with silence.
There... wasn’t even any sobbing, not even the most quiet of sobbing.
“Cadance?” Celestia asked, her tone now filled with fear.
She pushed the doors open with her magic—
Celestia screamed in horror at the sight before her.
Cadance lay on her bed, a dagger through her heart.The blood had long dried, but the bed was stained with it.
On the floor, Celestia saw a note, stained with droplets of blood.
She levitated it with her magic and read:
To any who find this,
I do not wish to live on. My daughter is gone, my husband blames himself and I feel the blame is all mine. If I had only cared for her better, maybe she would still be here with us.
Farewell, Equestria. May I find peace with my daughter in the next life.
Celestia dropped the note, her cheeks stained with tears.
She walked over to her deceased niece and wrapped her forelimbs around her corpse.
“Why, Cadance? Why?”
Luna ended the vision as I stood, my body shaking.
“S-s-so much blood,” I whispered, feeling my face turning green. “C-Cadance... killed herself?”
Luna nodded solemnly. “The loss of a child is a far greater pain than you can imagine. As the letter says, Shining Amour blamed himself for Scootaloo’s death, while Cadance felt it was all her own doing and ended her life in an attempt to both repay for her failings and to be reunited with her child.”
I gulped, finding it very hard to breathe suddenly. “That— That’s horrible.”
Luna nodded. “Indeed. Though Cadance and Shining Armour are not the full extent of this.”
Before I could beg her not to, her horn glowed once more.
The throne room of the Friendship Castle was a mess with bottles of cider and other trash.
Twilight sat on her throne, her eyes red and bleary.
She looked down at the photo of herself, Cadance and her niece.
“What happened?” she whispered, her voice sounding like nails on a chalkboard. “How did it all go so wrong?”
Flashes of the last few months played out.
Rarity laying in the middle of her shop, not a single new dress in sight as she sobbed and wailed, Sweetie Belle’s form held within her forelegs, a pair of scisors clearly visible through her back.
Applejack staring blearily down at the form of Apple Bloom laying in a creek, her bow long washed away by the current.
Rainbow Dash charging into a thunder cloud no Pegasus could possibly go into and come back alive.
Pinkie Pie in her room at Sugarcube Corner, hanging from a noose, Gummy just staring at her, the slightest tears rolling from his eyes.
Fluttershy sitting in front of a pack of Timber Wolves in the Everfree Forest, a blank expression on her face.
Twilight lit her horn, then sucked the magic back in through it.
“What point is there?” she asked, her whole body glowing with lavender light—
“STOP!” I screamed, falling to the floor, sobbing, my hooves over my eyes. “No more! Please, Luna, I’m begging you, no more!”
I sobbed uncontrollably, my body shaking, being racked by ever sob.
I felt a soft hoof touch my mane and looked up with red puffy eyes and tear-stained face at Luna’s sad, apologetic expression.
“Y-y-you kn-kn-know Sc-Sc-Scootaloo’s still in here,” I manage, my voice jumping with each sob. “N-n-n-n-no ch-ch-child sh-sh-should ha-have t-to see that.”
Luna nodded and pulled me into a hug, which I accepted.
“I am sorry,” she whispered, stroking my mane. “I know that was horrible to see, but you need to know that will all happen if you go through with killing yourself.”
I look up at her, sniffing as I stare into her blue eyes. “”Y-you planned t-to—” sniff, sniff— “gu-guilt me into living?”
Luna shook her head, then pulled me closer so I was looking into her fur. “No, Scootlaoo. I was showing you that because I wanted to show you you are loved. So deeply loved, by your mother, Twilight, her friends and all your friends.”
I sniffle again. “B-but I’m n-not Scootal-l-loo. C-Cadance isn’t my mum. T-Twilight and the others aren’t’ my friends.”
Luna just tightened her grip on me. “No, Scootaloo. They are. This may not be what you wanted, but this is your life. While how Discord gave it to you I cannot condone, he did not mean any harm by it. He wanted to make his friends happy and did not mean for you to lose your old life. But know that, in this life, you are not alone. Your have friends, you have family and you have a mother who loves you will all her heart.”
I look up at her, my eyes still pouring with tears. “But... what if she hates me when she finds out the truth?”
Luna smiled softly. “What truth? True, you have memories of a life from another world, but does that make her any less your mother? She gave birth to you, Scootaloo. You are the result of hers and Lightning Star’s love for each other. Though they’re time together was cut short, yours has been extended. That is a wonderful gift, Scootaloo. Do not waste it.”
The dream realm started to fade away.
_____________________________________________________________________
When the bathroom came back as I opened my eyes, Luna was still holding me like she had in the dream realm.
The sound of fast hoofsteps came and the sound of the door to the hospital room opening could be heard.
“Scootaloo?” Cadance’s voice called with worry, no doubt seeing I wasn’t in the bed.
“In here,” Luna called softly.
The door was half closed, but was pushed open quickly to reveal all the mane six, Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle and Cadance, who’s eyes were wide with worry.
“Luna?” Twilight looked the lunar pricness, confused. “Why’re you here?”
“Just doing my duty, Twilight Sparkle,” she replied, letting me go. “I was helping young Scootaloo remember something very important.”
I stared at Cadance, who looked at me with her large, lavender-violet eyes.
A feeling billowed in my heart and filled my chest and I ran to her and hugged her tightly!
“Mum!” I cried into her fur, sobbing once more. “Mum, I’m sorry! I’m sorry!”
Cadance just wrapped her forehooves and wings around me and held me close, her own tears lightly dripping into my mane
“It’s okay,” she said, sounding close to sobbing herself. “It’s okay, sweetie. Mommy loves you, remember? I love you with all my heart.”
We just sat there, holding each other, her allowing me to cry into her fur, not once stopping me.
Author's Note
i know i said i wouldn't work on this again for a while, but when you get that itch you just gotta stratch it, right?
And, thanks to that itch, here's chapter two.
Yeah, i know things got a bit goring, so i'll give this story the gore tag and say why in the description.
So, Scootaloo knows now that, while this wasn't what she chose, she still has a loving mother and lots of friends to help her through life.
what will her life hold for her now? We will see.
hope you enjoyed this, please comment and, until next til, later, everypony
Finding Myself as a Flightless Filly
Chapter 3
___________________________________________________________
I apologized over and over, my face buried in my mother’s fur.
After a few minutes, I looked up at her with teary eyes. “I’m sorry,” I sobbed again.
She smiled, but had a slight look of confusion on her face. “Honey, why are you sorry?”
My tears started anew as my heart clenched in my chest. “I— I—” I let out a loud wail. “Please don’t hate me, Mummy! I don’t want you t’ hate me! I can’t lose you too!”
___________________________________________________________
Cadance glanced at Twilight in utter shock and confusion, to which Twilight reflected. She looked back down at her daughter and stroked her mane. “Scootaloo, why would you ever think I’d hate you?”
“Cos I’m not really Scootaloo!” the small filly wailed, burying herself deeper into the alicorn’s fur.
Cadance blinked, then looked around at the ponies surrounding her. What was Scootaloo talking about? How could she not really be...?
A horrible thought occurred to Cadance. A thought that made her want to shove the filly aside, but had frozen her to the spot.
“No, Cadance.” Luna’s voice almost made Cadance jump as it pulled her from her inner thoughts.
“No what, Luna?” Twilight asked, a small frown on her face, no doubt thinking the same thing Cadance had.
Luna shook her head. “The filly in your forelimbs is indeed Scootaloo and not a changeling—”
Cadance breathed a sigh of relief and held her daughter closer.
“— but she is also not Scootaloo, as well.”
Cadance stiffened, which caused the filly to do the same.
Cadance looked up at her aunt. “What... do you mean?”
Luna sighed. “Scootaloo is now a combination of two beings. For her to live, she needed a small amount of another’s life force, something I should have seen myself. However, Discord saw it first, and acted on the impulse to make you all feel better.”
Luna took a few steps forward and placed a hoof on Scootaloo’s mane.
“However, the spirit he took was not a small piece of that being’s life force. In his haste, Discord accidentally took it all; meaning Scootaloo now shares the memories and emotions of the being her spirit is now merged with.”
“Who’s the spirit?” Applejack asked, cocking an eyebrow.
Luna sighed. “A man who went by the name of Mike Johns, though some knew him as Autum Breeze. And no, Twilight, he was not from the world you visited. He was from another.”
Twilight glanced at Scootaloo, her eyes full on concern. If another being was now part of Scootaloo, what about the body that being had inhabited and how would this affect her niece?
Luna breathed a heavy sigh. “In his world, Mike is now thought to be dead.” This caused a gasp from the other mares, but she went on. “And, even if we were able to extract enough of his being from the merging, which in itself would be near impossible, he would have no body to return to, for his family cremated his body to ash.”
Applejack had tears running down her face. “So, the only family he... er... she’s got is...?”
Luna nodded and turned to her niece. “Cadance, you are Scootaloo’s mother. In order for her to live, that young man lost his life and now shares it with Scootaloo.”
As Cadance looked from her aunt, down to her daughter, Twilight’s eyes softened. “So, that’s why she’s so upset. She’s scared that, because the two of them are one now, Cadance won’t love her, and Cadance is all she has to hold onto now.”
Luna gave confirmation with a nod.
Cadance looked down at the filly holding onto her, wetting her with her tears. This was her daughter... but at the same time she wasn’t. But, she couldn’t see her as anything but her daughter, and she was so scared Cadance would hate her.
“Please,” the filly sobbed, barely a whisper. “Don’t hate me, Mummy. I don’t wan’ you to hate me.”
Her face softened and she pulled the child into a warm hug. “I could never hate you, Scootaloo. You’re my daughter. Nothing will ever change that.”
The filly sniffled. “Thank you.”
___________________________________________________________
Twilight exited the room, walked over to the chairs by the wall, sat down and sighed, her ears flat against her head. It had been three days since they’d learned about Scootaloo’s new spiritual being.
“Where is she?”
The alarmed and very familiar male voice caused Twilight to look up as her brother came bounding down the hall, heading for the door she’d just left.
Twilight’s horn glowed, encompassing her brother, stopping him inches from the door. “Twilight!” he said angrily, his legs running in midair as he tried to get out of her magical grip. “Let me go! I’ve gotta see Cadance and Scootaloo!”
Twilight sighed. This wasn’t going to be easy.
“No, Shining,” she said firmly. “First, you need to know exactly what’s going on.”
Her words and tone seemed to catch her brother off guard and he calmed down. Twilight lowered him to the ground and explained to him about what had happened; how Scootaloo was now two beings’ spirits merged into one and just how hard she was taking it that the other family she remembered not only thinks she’s dead, but that she would never be able to see them again.
“She has her memories as Scootaloo, but because they conflict with her other memories, she’s become withdrawn,” Twilight finished, and sighed. “She won’t let go of Cadance, not unless Cadance needs the bathroom, and even then, she stays right by her side, not letting her go. She keeps using the diapers she was supplied with at night because she doesn’t want to go on her own and doesn't want to wake Cadance from her sleep.”
Plus, during the changing times, they bond even more, so she feels closer.
Shining frowned. “Why? Scoots was never the clingy type. Well, aside from with Rainbow Dash.”
Twilight sighed, her eyes downcast. “She’s scared, Shiny. She’s feeling emotions that aren’t hers, but she doesn’t know which those are. She loves Cadance as any child loves their mother, but she also knows she loves the other mother she remembers having from the other world.”
Twilight slumped onto her haunches.
“At the same time she remembers her feelings towards everypony else, us, her friends, Rainbow Dash... and it scares her. She’s worried she won’t be able to keep those bonds because of what’s happened to her. She can’t even look at any of us when we visit. She just holds onto Cadance, every minute of every day. She even insists on Cadance sharing the bed with her. That’s how scared she is, Shining. The only pony she feels she can trust right now is Cadance and even being away from her for a short time scares her beyond anything anypony could imagine.”
Shining Armour scuffed a hoof against the floor. “Just... how bad is it?”
Tears leaked from Twilight’s eyes and slid down her muzzle. “One time, Cadance left to handle some of the paper work for some of those meetings she’s missed since she’s been here since Scootaloo ended up in hospital.”
Shining nodded, indicating for her to go on.
Twilight sniffled. “When she came back, Scootaloo was wrapped up in a ball, whimpering. As soon as Cadance came over to hug her, Scootaloo clung to her as if she was afraid Cadance would disappear.”
Shining’s eyes widen, then he looked down. “It’s... that bad?”
Twilight nodded, then slumped back in her chair, her head held low. “I feel so useless. I’m the Princess of Friendship and inside that room is a filly that desperately needs the help of her friends, but there’s nothing I can do about it.”
Shining Armour walked over and took his sister in a one legged hug. “Twily, none of us could’ve known something like this would happen.”
“But I...” Twilight began, but a look from her brother made her looked down again and sigh. “I just wish I could do something.”
Shining tightened his hug. “So do I, Twily,” he said solemnly. “Scoots is my daughter, since I married Cadance, but from what you’ve said, I wouldn’t be much help. Scoots and I always got along, but if she doesn’t even want to be with Rainbow Dash right now, I’m not likely to be in the good standings either. All we can do is hope that she gets better and we can all try to be a family again.”
___________________________________________________________
I slammed into the wall, staring up at my mother. I was back in the human world, in my house, but something was wrong. My parents, brothers and sisters were all glaring down at me, my mother having just thrown me against said wall.
Wincing as I rubbed my head, I looked up at them all in shock. “why;re you all doing this to me? I’m your son and big brother!”
My mum slapped my face, hard. “You’re not my child! You’re nothing but a freak!”
I stared at her, slowly raising my hand to my cheek. It felt... furry. I moved my hand and saw orange fur growing all over it. I looked all over me. I was naked and orange fur was growing over my whole body, my private area seeming to just be bear space covered in fur. I grabbed at my hair and, pulling a bit down to my eyes, I saw it was purple. My eyes widened in horror and I just knew they’d changed from blue to magenta.
I stared at them all in horror. I’d... I’d become an anthropomorphic version of Scootaloo.
My family just glared at me. “Like I said,” my mum snarled, “you’re not my child.”
Suddenly the world went black and I was standing in the throne room of Canterlot Castle. Everypony was there, the mane six, Luna, Celestia, Shining Armour and Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle. They were all glaring at me in disgust. But where was Cadance, my mother.
The doors behind me slammed open and I whirled around to see mum standing there, glaring at me just like my human family had. She walked in, going right passed me.
I turned to her, tears welling in my eyes as my heart already ached from my human family disowning me, only to get harsh glares and silence from my pony one.
“Mum,” I whispered, my voice sounding like both my human self and Scootaloo. “Did I do something wrong? Why are you so angry? Don’t you love me?”
She stopped, giving me hope, until she looked over her shoulder, her glare so fierce it could’ve melted a mountain. “Love you?” she spat. “I can’t even bear to look at you, you monstrous freak!”
My eyes widened and my heart shattered. She... she didn’t love me? My own mother... didn’t love me?
I broke down, falling to my knees, tears streaming down my face as I wailed in the middle of the throne room.
“Guards!” Mum barked and a squad of Royal Guards surrounded me. “Take this thing to the dungeon and never let it see the let of day again!”
“At once, princess,” they nodded, all turning to me with disgusted looks on their faces.
This couldn’t be real. This couldn’t be real. This. Couldn’t. Be. Real!
___________________________________________________________
I screamed, sitting up, my body covered in sweat, my breathing erratic.
“Honey?” I looked up to see Mum looking down at me, a worried look on her face. “Scootaloo, what’s wrong? Did you have a bad dream?”
I couldn’t answer her. Hearing her voice filled with worry meant she loved me. She loved me. It had all been a dream. I bury my face into her fur, crying silently as she wrapped her wings around me and held me.
Author's Note
here's chapter three at last. i wrote most of this a while ago, but couldn't think where to go after twilight and shining had their talk, so i thought a nightmare would be the best thing.
hope you enjoyed this, and until next time, goodnight, everypony
Finding Myself as a Flightless Filly
Chapter 5 (Spoilers for season 9)
Chapter 6
Bitter Sweet Ending
_____________________________________________________________________
“So… that’s really it?” I ask, looking to the pink Earth Pony floating next to me.
She sighs, looking sympathetically at me. “Yeah. It both is great and sucks the big one, huh?”
“I’m glad she at least isn’t actually an orphan,” I smile, looking out over the hill of Ponyville, the Crystal Empire a little off in the distance. “Still, it would’ve been nice had everyone gotten to read my life’s story.”
The pink filly nodded. “Tell me about it. I mean, Cadance finding a way to bring the Empire to sit right outside Ponyville so you don’t have to leave your friends behind? Sombra's return and you're coming to grips with everything, allowing you to beat him AND Grogar once and for all? Not to mention you becoming an Alicorn and the CMC getting your Cutie Marks.” She looks to the much bigger wings on my back and my horn, before frowning. “Though, they’re immortal too now. That’s a bit weird. Being tied to you makes them immortal as well.” She shrugs. “Well, at least Applejack and Rarity won’t have to mourn their sisters dying from old age anymore.”
“It’s just so annoying though,” I shake my head. “It was really hard to get over all that emotional baggage and now no one gets to read about it?”
She shrugs. “Them’s the breaks. Hasbro finally bringing Scoots’ parents into the mix after NINE SEASONS is both a blessing and a curse, huh?”
I chuckle. “You said it.” I sigh. “Well, at least I got to entertain people for a little, huh?”
She nods. “Besides, I think the author took off more than could chew with you. You’re emotional state was really bloody delicate, far more than they were planning, to the point they literally wrote themselves into a corner with you.”
“I hear that,” I shake my head. “I was really fucked up after that. I mean, what the fuck, Luna? Don’t really know how they could've written all that . Likely would’ve had to change the rating to M, with how dark it all got.”
The filly nods, before stretching. “Equestria’s entered its new age. Twilight and the others are the rulers of the land, Equestria’s allies are more closely bound than ever and the Empire has three princesses to protect it. I’d say, things are going to go just fine from on. But, ya know, call me if anything big comes up.”
I cock an eyebrow at her. “You like messing with other realties, don’t you?”
“Wouldn’t be a point to having Chaos Magic if I didn’t,” she shrugs. “Whelp, good luck with the future, Scoots. FiM is over, but whatever happens in this world is up to you now.” She winks. “Make it a good one.”
She teleports away and I look out over the horizon once more.
It’s sad one story is ending, but there are many others out there, yet to be told and yet to end.
Author's Note
Yeah. After seeing the clip of Scootaloo's parents FINALLY being in the show, I honestly just don't feel the drive for this story and don't really know how anyone else could've done so themselves, so it's ending here.
sorry if you hate it. will fully understand if the dislike bar rises dramatically after this.
I just couldn't honestly go through with this anymore, ya know? Plus, most of the fics i've given away end up cancelled, so i chose to end this one myself with something at least. bit of meta humor to help out.
Finding Myself as a Flightless Filly
Chapter 4
___________________________________________________________
“But you can’t just barge in like this!”
Twilight turned her head, blinking in confusion as she saw a unicorn she honestly never expected to even set hoof in Ponyville stomping down the halls towards the room she had just left.
The usually sleaked-back blonde mane of Prince Blueblood was ragged and his eyes were narrowed in a way that warned any not to get in his way.
Twilight’s expression of sadness over her niece still not talking to her immediately changed to irritation at the stuck-up noble her becoming an Alicorn, and thus and member of the Royal Family, had unfortunately made her related to.
Just as he was nearing the door, a purple barrier shot up around the door, preventing him access.
“Open this door at once, Twilight Sparkle and give me passage!” he snapped, whirling his head to glare at the Alicorn, who horn was glowing with its lavender aura.
She returned his glare without missing a beat. “Not unless you calm done first and explain yourself. Why were you about to barge into Scootaloo’s hospital room? Surely you’ve heard she’s in no emotional condition to be with anypony save her mother right now.”
“I could care less about the emotional condition of a pathetic excuse for royalty that filly represents!” Blueblood shot back, shaking his head. “I am here to talk finally talk some sense into my cousin to leave the foal and return to the Crystal Empire this moment!”
Twilight paused, her brain trying to wrap itself around his words, as well as confirm he had actually spoken them and their implications. When it finally registered, his nostrils flared and her eyes shot daggers at the unicorn stallion.
“You mean you intend to tell Cadance to abandon her only child?!” she all but screamed, her right eye twitching.
Blueblood nodded, his expression disgusted as he closed his eyes. “As if keeping the news that that poor excuse for a Pegasus is Cadance’s offspring isn’t hard enough with her regular visits with the brat, whether they be in Ponyville, the Empire or Canterlot. Do you realize how difficult it is to keep the press from learning that filly's origins with Cadance remaining with her day in and day out? It’s a nightmare. If she doesn’t come to her senses soon, the press are sure to find out and then the shame it will bring upon the Royal Family... I dare not even think about it.”
Twilight’s body twitched with the effort of keeping herself from launching in a rage at the pony before her. “You mean to tell me...” she said, her voice cold and dangerous, “that you think Scootaloo’s birth was an accident that should have never happened and that you intend to make sure that Equestria doesn’t find out she’s Cadance’s daughter... all because of your pride ?!”
He answered with a sniff and upturned nose. “I’d have thought you would want the same, would you not? I’d hate to have the ponies of my kingdom learn I had a niece born out of wedlock.”
Everypony else, even those in rooms next to Scootaloo’s, had made the wise decision and left the area, moving to a safer part of the hospital. Only a complete and utter idiot would continue to stay when Twilight Sparkle was so close to losing her temper that you could feel the magic radiating off of her. Blueblood, sadly was one such idiot and was oblivious to the danger standing in front of him as he continued his tirade.
“Not only that, but the child can’t fly. If the public ever found out there a Pegasus with royal blood, yet is unable to fly... again, I dare not think of the horrible shame that will fall upon our family.” He brushed a hoof against his chest. “Best rid ourselves of the nuisance before she causes anymore more trouble. I’ve heard she would likely die without Cadnace? Let that be. One less useless pony means a better Equestria. It’s not like anypony will miss her. Nopony actually cares about the little—”
“I CARE ABOUT HER, YOU SELF-CENTRED, EGOTISTICAL HEARTLESS, GOOD-FOR-NOTHING RETCH OF A PONY!” Twilight bellowed in the Royal Canterlot Voice, causing the whole hospital to shudder under the intensity. “SCOOTALOO IS MY NIECE AND I CARE FOR HER JUST LIKE ANY AUNT WOULD; LIKE HOW CELESTIA CARES ABOUT YOU, THOUGH I HONESTLY DON’T SEE WHY! CADANCE CARES ABOUT HER; SHE’S SCOOTALOO’S MOTHER AND HAD TO BRING HER TO PONYVILLE SO SHE COULD BE RAISED IN A PLACE WHERE PONIES LIKE YOU WOULDN’T HURT HER! ”
Blueblood slowly backed away as the mare before him advanced closer. Her whole body was glowing, taking on the form she had when the box from the Tree of Harmony that became her castle had infused Twilight and the other Bearers to their Elements in ways none save Celestia surely knew.
“YOU DARE TO CALL MY NIECE USELESS! SHE AT LEAST TRIES, BLUEBLOOD! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO DESERVE YOUR TITLE AS PRINCE, HMM?! YOU DARE TO SUGGEST THAT CADANCE CARES ABOUT YOUR IMAGE MORE THAN THE HAPPINESS OF HER OWN CHILD ?! YOU DARE TO SUGGEST WE JUST CAST SCOOTALOO ASIDE WHEN SHE NEEDS HER FAMILY THE MOST, TO ACT LIKE WE DON’T LOVE HER?”
The stallion whimpered as he bumped into the wall behind him, for it meant he could no longer back away from the approaching being pulsating with magic he could never even begin to fathom the depth of.
“YOU SAY SCOOTALOO IS AN INSULT TO THE ROYAL FAMILY? ON WHAT REASON? THAT SHE WAS BIRTHED OUT OF WEDLOCK? NEWS FLASH, SHE ISN’T MY BROTHER’S BIOLOGICAL DAUGHTER! CADANCE MARRIED ANOTHER STALLION AND BECAME PREGNANT WITH SCOOTALOO AFTER THEIR MARRIAGE! SCOOTALOO IS ALL SHE HAS LEFT OF LIGHTNING AFTER HIS DEATH, AND YOU DARE TO SAY SHE SHOULD JUST CAST HER ASIDE LIKE A PIECE OF TRASH!?”
Twilight’s eyes were pure white as she loomed over the taller stallion, who felt as small as an insect under a magnifying glass.
“LEAVE!” Twilight screamed, thrusting her hoof down the hallway. “GET OUT OF PONYVILLE AND NEVER RETURN OR I SHALL SEE TO IT YOU LEARN JUST WHAT DISCORD FELT DURING HIS THOUSAND YEARS IN STONE! OR MAYBE I SHOULD BANISH YOU TO MOON!”
“No,” he whimpered, quivering in the Alicorn’s shadow.
“THEN I NEVER WANT TO SEE YOUR FACE IN PONYVILLE EVER AGAIN!” she screeched, her eyes promising suffering in ways no living being to comprehend. “IF I EVER SEE YOU IN PONYILLE OR THE CRYSTAL EMPIRE, OR EVEN HEAR OF YOU BEING IN EITHER, OR IF YOU CAUSE ANY PROBLEMS FOR SCOOTALOO, CADANCE OR MY BROTHER, EVEN THE TINIEST HINDRANCE, YOU WILL WISH YOU WERE WITH TIREK IN TARTARUS! UNDERSTAND?!”
Blueblood gave several frantic, terrified nods, before he bolted down the hall, not wanting to incur the wrath of the mare who’d stood against him.
For several long moments, Twilight stood in the middle of the hallway, breathing heavily as she slowly calmed down, her form returning to normal and her magic no longer radiating from her body, the spell around the door fading away.
After what felt like an hour, Twilight was calm enough that she could think clearly.
“That may come back to bite me in the flank someday,” she murmured, moving over to one of the seats along the walls, opening her saddlebag with her magic and pulling out some parchment and a pen. “But he will not threaten my family like that, not for some stupid pride. Nor will I let him forget this any time soon.”
Sitting down, she moved the pen to the paper and began to write.
“Dear Princess Celestia...”
___________________________________________________________
“Scoots?”
I move my head a fraction to see the yellow filly standing on the side of my bed. Next to her is a white unicorn.
I know them both. They are my best friends... but at the same time... they’re not. They are Scootaloo’s friends and, no matter what anypony tells me, I’m not and never will be Scootaloo. I’m just... me. I’m me and nothing more... and I don’t even know what that is.
A sudden knock on the door causes us all to jerk and I bury myself deeper into Mum’s fur.
The door slowly opens and the head of a white unicorn with a two-toned blue mane pops in. “Cadance?”
“Yes, Shiny?” she asks quietly, holding me close.
“I’m... I’m really sorry, but can you come out here for a bit,” he looks down, as if trying not to meet Mum’s eyes. “I... you really need to hear this.”
I tighten my grip on Mum. I don’t want her to go. If she goes, I might never see her again. I need her with me. She’s all I have. I can’t lose her.
“Scootaloo,” Mum murmurs, nuzzling my mane.
“Don’t go,” I whisper, trying to bury myself deeper into her fur. “Don’t leave me, please.”
“I promise I won’t, honey,” she replies gently, still nuzzling me. It feels so good and calming when she does that. “But I am the Crystal Princess, remember? Some things I need to handle... and I have a feeling this might be one of them. Shining wouldn’t ask if it wasn’t, you know that, right?”
I sniffle, shaking my head. I did know. While I feel as scared to be around Shining Armour as I do everypony aside from Mum, he had been kind enough to keep away and not make Mum leave... until now.
After what felt like an eternity, I slowly, reluctantly, ease my grip on Mum, letting her slide away from me.
As soon as she’s moved away and I lose the feeling of her body heat, I curl up on the bed, wrapping my tail around myself.
I feel a nuzzle against my wrapped-in-my-tail head. “I won’t be long this time, sweetie. I promise. And you know I’ll be back.”
I nod, sniffling. I listen to the sound of Mum’s hoofsteps on the floor moving away, then the door closing and the room goes quiet.
At once I feel everything closing in around me. Mum’s gone, I’m on my own. I don’t want to be alone. I want somepony to hold me, need somepony there for me. I don’t want to be alone.
“Scoots?”
I wince at the voice and the sudden feeling of a small hoof against my hidden-behind-my-tail shoulder.
Slowly, very slowly, I peek my eyes through my purple hairs. Before is the yellow filly with red hair, the unicorn standing next to her. They’re both looking at me with sadness and worry.
“Scoots, we miss you,” the unicorn says, her eyes shimmering. “We miss our friend.”
“I’m not her,” I murmur, covering my eyes again. “I’ll never be her. I can’t be, even if I wanted to.”
“Tha’ ain’t true,” the other filly says, sounding hurt. “Yer still Scootaloo, no matter what’s happened. Ya’ll always be our best friend. Nothing in Equestria’s ever gonna change that.”
“But I’m not from on Equestria,” I whisper, whimpering. “I came from somewhere else. I’m not even sure where that is anymore.”
Why am I talking to them? Don’t they see it only hurts me more when they do? When they talk to who they think is their friend, even though that same friend is dead and can never come back.
I’m not their friend. I’m just the cheap cut and paste replacement and I’m a shoddy one at that.
I feel movement and new weight coming onto the bed close to me, before I feel two small warms bodies, one on either side, pressing against me.
“But you are our friend,” the unicorn says, nuzzling my face through my tail. “We care about you because you’re our friend, not who you are.”
“That’s right,” the other says from my right. “I’ don’ matter ta us if yer Scoots, that human, both ’r whatever. The fact is yer our friend and we wan’ ta help ya, Scoots. Please, let us.”
I shut my eyes tight, whimpering.
___________________________________________________________
They’re my friends and I want to be with them! the young orange filly shouts, glaring at the human male standing in front of her in the black void.
He snarls back at his, his eyes fierce. No! I’m not you! I’m just the human that got stuck merged with you! I lost my whole life because of you! This is my body now and I shouldn’t have to worry about your problems!
I whimper as I sit huddled on the ground between them, my hangs over my head. I’m the in between of them. I’m female and covered in orange fur, with purple hair and a tail... but I have the body of a human. I’m stuck in between.
It's not fair. I don’t want to be in between anymore. I’ve been this way from the moment Discord unlocked the human part of me.
She’s me and I’m going to live my life with my friends! the Pegasus screams, stomping a hoof as if ready to charge. She’s me and you can do anything about that!
I feel otherwise, the human growls, cracking his knuckles. If I have to fight you for control of this body and mind, I will, filly. Being a brony doesn’t mean I won’t hold back if you’re going to interfere with my life!
The Pegasus opens her mouth again to control as I tried to make myself smaller.
ENOUGH! The booming voice seems to make the whole void shake, and I cry out in fear while the other two look around angrily for the source.
There is a flash of dark-blue light and a dark-blue equine with wings and a horn and a mane and tail made of stars moving in an ethereal wind is standing between them, standing over me.
You are both one and the same, Princess Luna says sternly, looking from one of them to the other. This is not a debate about who owns this form. You are both now one and the same. This one is proof of that, but your constant denial keeps her trapped between you both.
The two look at me, their faces turning into a scowl.
I’m not her! The human points at the filly.
And I’m not him! she shouts back, pointing in return.
Princess Luna growls, leaning over me like a lioness protecting her cub. You are right. Neither of you are the other. You are both the same being now. There is no longer the human, Mike Johns, nor the filly, Scootaloo. They are now both one and the same being. It is time you accepted that, so that she may move on.
Those are my friends trying to comfort me! the filly yells, glaring the Alicorn. My friends, not his! I shouldn’t have to share my friends!
Speak for yourself, pony! the human growls, taking a step forward. I shouldn’t have to deal with your friends thinking of me as you! I never asked for this, so stop acting like I did!
ENOUGH! Luna glared from one to the other. Neither of you are whom you think you are. You are the fragments of both, still fighting to remain as you once were. For this being, this pony, for Scootaloo to live, you must both accept what and who you are.
I’m not letting her take my mom away! the filly screamed, stepping forward.
I don’t want her! the human replies.
Mum, I whisper, shuddering. I want my mummy. Please.
Both growl. She’s not your mummy!
She is! I wail, tears streaming from my face. I want my mum! I want my mum! GIVE ME MY MUM!
Suddenly they both glow with a white light, before shooting forward. I scream, trying to move, but Luna standing over me make it too slow for me to get out.
The lights slam into me and I freeze, my body falling.
___________________________________________________________
I gasp loudly, my eyes going wide as I stare up at the ceiling, yet don’t see it. My mind is on fire as two sets of memories coalesce within me, merging, solidifying, becoming one.
I slump back on the bed, breathing heavily as everything is clear to me for what feels like an eternity. I am Scootaloo, but I am also Matt Johns. We are one and the same, or spirits entangled forever as one being to keep each other alive.
My human life was not for nothing. It saved my life, my current life. My pony life.
“Scoots?” I look up weakly at the anxious faces of the unicorn and yellow filly... no. the anxious faces of my best friends, Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle.
I pull the both of them closer, wrapping a foreleg around each of their necks and holding pulling them to me and cry.
They both seem startled at first, but, eventually, they return my hug, holding me tightly.
Their embrace is warm. I can practically feel their love and care for me and it makes me happy. Happy for the first time in a long while. My tears continue, but these are no longer tears of sadness and lose. These are tears of joy.
___________________________________________________________
“He said what ?!” Cadance’s eyes widened, yet narrowed at the same time. It was a sight no mortal being should see. Thankfully, Twilight was the only one with the view, as Shining Armour was speaking with a male nurse at the time.
Twilight nodded. “His only concern is the family pride.”
“That arrogant...” the pink Alicorn hissed, glaring at the ground, though she didn’t finish, unable to find a word to fit her feelings of Blueblood at the moment.
Originally Shining had asked her own to help deal with a few of their advisors, some of whom where arrogant enough, since they’d moved to the Empire from Canterlot, to question her whether she wanted Scootaloo registered as her official heir, or if she was just to be seen as a substitute in the event one could not be found.
Shining had let her speak to them due to this being a matter he technically didn’t have a right to decide on, even though he knew her decision within the second the question had been posed to him.
However, despite being Cadance’s husband, he was not Scootaloo’s biological father and therefore, such a matter was Cadance’s to deal with, much as he’d have rather handle it himself due to his not caring if Scootaloo was his daughter by birth or not, for he cared for her all the same, and if only so Cadance didn’t have to listen to the pointless garbage they’d spewed from their mouths.
Cadance had warned the advisors that their job was not to dictate her family life, only to advisor her on matter of running her fiefdom and sent them back to the Empire with severe warnings to remember their place, lest they wish to end up on the streets.
However, despite it being bad timing, Twilight had taken her aside and informed her of the events regarding Blueblood’s intended visit for which she’d stopped and his reasons for coming in the first place.
Twilight shook her head, a clear effort to push her emotions aside being made from the look on her face. “I’ve warned him never to set hoof in Ponyville or the Empire again. I've even let Princess Celestia know about this. He's not going to be able to skip around this one.”
“Still, the fact that he... Gah!” Cadance thrust her head to the side, her teeth clenched. “Scootaloo is my daughter, not his. He has no right to tell me what I can or can’t do when it regards my own child. If he had children of his own, maybe he’d understand.”
Twilight snorted. “Have you met Blueblood? I doubt he’d even acknowledged their existence, shoving them off to palace stuff or just dumping them... anywhere, knowing him.”
Cadance opened her mouth to say further, but was halted when she felt something. Being the Princess of Love, she was attuned to the emotions regarding love around her and, just then, she had felt a shift nearby, in the room behind her. Scootaloo had been giving off a pained love ever since after she’d woken up from her coma. Now, however, she could feel free-flowing love coming from the room behind her, the love of a pony who has realized just how many care about her and that she cares about in turn.
Hurrying to the door, she went in, to see Scootaloo holding onto Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle, tears running down her face... but the warmest smile she had seen in a long time on her lips.
Author's Note
Finally got another chapter of this OUT!
Sorry for the LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONG wait. i just wasn't sure how to follow up from the last chapter, so this story just started collecting dust.
Now, before you jump to conclusions, yes, Scootaloo has accepted her life now, but that does not mean she is out of the woods yet. her emotions are still fragile and it will take a long time for her to feel comfertable again within Ponyville, let alone Equestria as a whole.
She's only taken the first step and there's a VERY long road ahead.
Well, that's all for now.
Hope you and enjoyed this and again, sorry for the long wait.
Til next time, later everypony
