A Big Stupid Cave Troll Destroys Twilight Sparkle's Library

by Bendy

Rating: teen
Tags: Random, Crossover, Twilight Sparkle, Gore, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy
Length: 972

A big stupid cave troll destroys Twilight Sparkle's library.

A big stupid cave troll destroys Twilight Sparkle's library.

Published 2014-05-23 15:40:03 UTC
Last updated 2014-05-23 15:40:03 UTC

A Troll In Twilight Sparkle's Library

The unusual lavender night sky was truly beautiful to behold as it loomed over a large medieval like town, that was known as Ponyville. This town was a lot cleaner than the average medieval town, with many modern appliances, such as toilets and showers. Ponyville was such a strange and terrible pony pun as a name.

This town was populated by strange alien pastel equines, known as ponies. They weren't ordinary ponies, these were sapient alien ponies. They had large forward facings eyes as big as basketballs. And hooves capable of grasping objects, they should not be able to hold. But then again, this is a cartoon universe, so logic and the laws of physics may need not apply. Especially, when magic is involved. Yes, some of the ponies had magic.

Near the center of the town there was a large oak tree, that was so dense and hallow inside one could walk inside it. Yet, its walls were thick enough to keep the place insulated and warm, even in the bitter cold of winter. It was clean, dry and warm inside. For this was a home, not just a dirty hole carved into a tree. This place and had all the comforts of home. A kitchen, bathroom and a warm bed. Where a beautiful, young, purple alicorn pony princess lay fast asleep under a warm blanket, which was themed with the stars of the night sky.

Granted, this place did not have a computer nor a television. But nonetheless this place was created with love and care, and treated as such by those that lived in it.

The lower interior of the tree had rows of wooden shelves with books neatly placed on them. It appeared this was both a library and a home. Books that told history and facts. And stories of; drama, war, suffering and death. But also these stories may tell of great; heroism, hope, defiance against evil, silliness and comedy, love, romance, sacrifice, compassion, forgiveness, mercy, war between good and evil and so much more.

Truly, it was a wondrous place of knowledge and inspiration for ideas, a place one could let their imagination run wild. Here the improbable can become probable and where nothing is impossible, not if you can imagine it.

This place was known as the Golden Oak Library. The home of Princess Twilight Sparkle and Spike. Spike was not home and probably was up to some silly antics.

***

Far away, hungry eyes looked for prey in the darkness deep within in the cold, damp ancient forest, that was known as the Everfree. A mysterious, scary place where the weather was not under any pony's control. Many strange things happened in this forest, many of which had no logical explanation.

There were many caves within the Everfree. One such cave was made of limestone covered in moss. Deep in the dark, damp, dirty cave the sounds of dripping water could be heard. The smell of death and decay was rampant. Among the corpses of half eaten, dead decomposing animals there was a most foul beast. The monstrous abomination sat on a pile of bones whilst it used a bone as a toothpick to get rid of chunks of meat stuck in its sharp teeth.

The monster was a huge, ugly, grey skinned, bald, wrinkly, flat faced, bulky, fat, dirty, stupid looking, brutish beast. That smelled like it never had a shower in its life. This was a cave troll. Whom are not known to be very bright and often solve their problems with violence. This troll was no exception, he was big and stupid like many of his kind. His name was Blarg and he is a stereotypical troll.

Suddenly, for seemingly no apparent reason Blarg had disappeared in a blinding flash of light. Cruel fate would have it that the troll would appear downstairs in the Golden Oak Library.

"Hurr?!" he said in a deep stupid voice. "Grrrraahhhhrrra!" he growled angrily. "Me Blarg, hates bookies! Bookies give mes headache!" he shouted.

He roared as he knocked over a bookshelf.

"Stupid books! Me no like you!"

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!" screamed a mare's voice.

"Huh?!" the cave troll turned around to see Twilight from across the room glaring at him angrily. "Grrrr, heys, wot... wot …. wot yeah yo yous is an wants from mes? Bes fasty, I don'ts likes yo!"

"Sweet Celestia! Your grammar is terrible!"

"Ggrrggrgrgaarrr! Don'ts use big words! Me no like big words! Me hates yo nows!"

"OK. Can you just please leave my books alone?"

Blarg grunted while he gave her an angry glare.

"Fuck yo books!" he shouted as he stomped his feet. Blarg roared while he ran around the room knocking over bookshelves indiscriminately. "I hate yo books!"

"Get out! Now!" she screamed. "Or I will be forced to attack you."

"Hah! You... tiny pony! I'ms gonna smash yo books! You can'ts dos noth about it."

Twilight gasped in shock when Blarg stomped on a book, destroying it with his massive weight.

"You.... you....." Twilight's mane and eyes went bright fiery red. "YOU DIE NOW!" she screamed several times louder than Princess Luna's Royal Canterlot Voice as she unleashed a spell, that was so powerful Blarg was blasted through the roof out to space. The force of the spell that hit him, had already killed him on the ground from impact.

Back in the library, Twilight was silently sat on the floor with tears streaming down her face in anguish. Her precious books were in a horrible mess on the floor and the fact one of her favorite books was destroyed by the big stupid cave troll. If she ever found out who teleported that troll into her library, she swore she would make them pay dearly.

The End