My Little Pirates: Doctor's Orders

by Fullmetal Pony

Rating: teen
Tags: Comedy, Pinkie Pie, Crossover, Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Rainbow Dash
Length: 9484

Trafalgar Law attempts to survive a day in Equestria without losing his mind. A My Little Pirates Special. One Piece MLP Crossover.

Surgeon of Death. Supernova. Pirate.

A colorful unicorn that resides in the magical realm of Equestria doesn't quite fit with the rest of Trafalgar Law's monikers. Yet, that is the situation the multi-million bounty pirate has found himself in. It's just for a few days and then he can forget all about Equestria. Provided Pinkie doesn't drive him mad before then.

A My Little Pirates Special.

Published 2014-05-23 20:40:05 UTC
Last updated 2014-05-23 20:40:05 UTC

Doctor's Orders

The steady beep of a heart monitor echoed across the small bedroom. Underneath a myriad of bandages and needles, Luffy’s chest slightly rose and fell, his lungs taking in oxygen from a clear mask affixed to his muzzle. His limbs were spread out across the bed with multiple tubes running up them and back to IV bags that surrounded him. A deep beige hoof reached out from among the cluster of machines keeping Luffy in a stable condition and hovered over his chest. A tiny vortex of wind swirled underneath the hoof before the monitor let out a shrill beep. A crimson cube floated out of Luffy’s chest as the monitor returned to its regular pattern, its beeps matching with the cube’s thumping. Now encased in a dim brown aura, the beating cube floated past all the machines and stopped in front of a pair of sunken baggy eyes.

Law shifted the cube around, analyzing the heart within from all angles while keeping an eye on the monitor. He blinked after spending some time gazing at it and began to float it back over to the hole in Luffy’s chest. He sighed as the heart slid back into its regular spot.

“For a pony with such heartening powers, you sure don’t smile a bunch,” Pinkie said before giggling to herself.

One of Law’s eyes twitched as he turned to see Pinkie standing at his side with a wide grin on her face as she tried to hold back more giggles. He sighed and moved closer to Luffy while levitating his sword off his back and to his side. He unsheathed it and inched it down to Luffy’s left foreleg, but paused when he saw Pinkie peering very close to the blade’s edge.

“Whoa, this looks super sharp!” Pinkie narrowed her eyes at the blade. “Kinda looks like a big smile though.”

“I’m trying to keep Straw Hat alive, you know,” Law grumbled.

“Yeah, but you always look so glum. You shou—”

“Room.”

Pinkie suddenly vanished, and Law let out another sigh. A chuckle jolted him upright. He spun around and was met with Pinkie standing there, still smiling. Placing a hoof on his cap, he shook his head and turned back to Luffy.

“You sure could play a really neat game of tag if you stopped being Mr. Gloomy.” Pinkie peared at him and raised a steaming muffin to his face. “How ‘bout some breakfast? A fresh muffin can make even the grouchiest pony ready for a new day!”

“Crumbs from that could get into Straw Hat’s wounds and reinfect them.” Law leveled his gaze at Pinkie’s muzzle, and the tiniest hint of a grin appeared on his lips. “Actually, you said you want to play a ‘neat game of tag?’”

Pinkie’s smiled widened and she enthusiastically nodded her head. She didn’t notice Law flip the blade around until it had already sliced clean through her muzzle, which flopped onto the floor. Its grin momentarily disappeared as Pinkie looked down at the clean space where her mouth had once been. The grin then returned to the disembodied muzzle.

“Well, this certainly is jaw dropping.” Pinkie’s muzzle chuckled to itself while Pinkie held her sides. It stopped laughing when Pinkie suddenly vanished from the room again. “Hey? Who turned out the lights?”

“That should keep you away for at least a few minutes,” said Law.

“Oh! I know what to do!” Pinkie’s muzzle exclaimed. “Marco! Po—”

It disappeared just like Pinkie. With silence restored, Law once more spun around to look at Luffy.

Now to check on his his lu—

“Um, excuse me, Mr. La—”

Law raised his sword high and brought it down in one fell swoop. Panting, he re-sheathed his blade while staring down at the two halves of Fluttershy that rested on the floor. Their aquamarine eyes looked up at him while her bisected mouth moved in unison.

“Oh, I’m sorry I snuck up on you, Mr. Law,” she said, her split mouth adding an overlapping effect to her voice. “I-I just wanted to ask if y-you wanted breakfast… and to p-put me back together… if you wouldn’t mind?”

Law’s horn glowed and Fluttershy’s two halves rose off the ground and fused together. Floating back down to the floor, she pawed at her chest, feeling where the split had occurred before sighing in relief. A quick twist of her head revealed that the rest of her body was whole as well, save for the tip of her tail. She reached out to smooth it back into one piece, but Law’s magic engulfed it first. He trudged over to her side and stared at her.

“You shouldn’t sneak up on me like that.” He glanced down at his stomach. “I suppose the other tests can wait.”

“That’s wonderful.” Fluttershy dared to smile a little at Law. He met it with the same stoic frown he’d worn since arriving in Canterlot. “I… I can stay here if that’ll help.”

“Straw Hat is fine. He just needs rest.” Law moved past Fluttershy and over to the door. As he pushed it open, he looked back at her. “What could you even do if his condition suddenly worsened? You don’t particularly seem the type t—”

“He has a third degree burns over his chest and various second degree burns across his body,” Fluttershy quickly stated. “His adrenal glands need a constant testosterone injection to keep functioning, his kidneys are on temporary dialysis, he needs a steady supply of oxygen due to the burn damage, anesthetic to keep him stable, and a high level of antibiotics to stave off infection.” She took a breath and shuddered, casting a glance at Luffy. “Nopony should have to push themselves this hard… not even Rainbow Dash would do something like this.”

Silence filled the room. Law stared over at Fluttershy, but she couldn’t bare his gaze and dropped her head to the floor. A dry chuckle drew her eyes back up. Law was still by the door, but now with a tiny grin on his face.

“Here I thought I’d be getting barely any assistance from this place. What’s a stuttering thing like you doing with medical knowledge?”

“I…” Fluttershy’s cheeks flushed red, and she shifted her mane so that it obscured her face. There was a pause before she spoke again, her voice now barely audible. “I have to know how to help my animals.”

“Just keep an eye on him and make sure the pink one stays out.” Law turned back to door and opened it fully. He stepped out into the hall while strapping his sword across his back. “I leave him in your…” He shot a glance down at his legs. “... hooves.”

“Don’t worry. I’ll do my be—” Law closed the door before she could finish.

~~~

Law pushed open the massive twin doors that led into the dining hall and slipped through the space between the two titanic slabs of wood. Outside, he had heard the muffled sounds of ponies hard at work consuming breakfast, but was now beholden to the full sight. Jinbei and Applejack sat close to the middle of the long table near a luscious spread of fruit, yogurt, toast, pastries, and other breakfast foods. Each viciously tore through apple after apple. Applejack was at least slowed down by the size of her mouth; Jinbei had no such restriction and easily fit whole fruits past his enlarged tusk-like teeth. He didn’t even leave cores behind.

Law’s arrival made both of them pause in their activities. Applejack reclined back in her seat and gave her belly a pat.

“Mornin’, Mr. Law,” she said. “Everything going okay?”

“If you’re wondering about Straw Hat, he’s fine.” He marched over to a chair and fell into it. With a flick of his horn, a piece of bread floated over and was about to land on his plate when his eyes widened for a brief moment. The aura around the bread vanished and it flopped onto the table, sending crumbs across it. Law took a deep breath and floated over a banana instead. He quickly flayed it open and bit off a large piece of it. His chewing slowed when he noticed Jinbei eyeing him. “What?”

“It has probably gotten tiring hearing this, but I want to thank you once more.” Jinbei shifted a webbed forehoof down to the bandages wrapped around his torso. “None of us would have survived without you.” His eyes sharpened a little. “Why a rival pirate would do such a thing does confuse me a little though.”

“Who knows?” Law shrugged and took another bite of his banana. He raised a hoof and pointed it to the stack of apple cores on Applejack’s plate. “Nothing I’ve read mentions a fishman addiction to apples. Is that a side effect of being here?”

Jinbei’s expression softened and he let out a hearty laugh that reverberated across the hall. “You could say something like that. Fishman Island’s location and soil make it difficult to grow most types of produce, so having this much for free is a boon to me. I just happen to have an affinity for apples.”

“Quite a shame in my book,” Applejack said before taking a bite out of another apple. She watched Jinbei take some more fruit from the table, her eyes tracing over his massive foreleg that connected back to his rotund yet muscular chest. “If what you say about other, uh…”

“Fishmen,” said Jinbei.

“Right,” Applejack continued. “From what you say about their strength and build, they’d make great apple buckers.”

Jinbei set down a cluster of grapes he was about to stuff into his mouth. His lips grew taut and his eyes became hidden in the shadow of his brow. “I’m afraid that produce procurement will be the least of Fishman Island’s concerns now. With Whitebeard’s death, everything will be in chaos and I will be needed.”

He glanced over at Law, who had moved on from the banana to a blueberry muffin. The stare garnered Law biting out another chunk of the pastry. He spoke only after swallowing.

“You’re lucky. Four or five days should be enough to make sure the worst of your wounds are closed up.” A thin grin came to Law’s lips. “Of course, that’s just my recommendation. There’s little I could do to stop you from going right now, especially given the likely state anything even remotely close to the New World is in right now.”

Jinbei furrowed his brow. “You have a bit of an attitude on you. Fishman Island has its own defenses for the worst case scenarios, so I can stay here. I at least owe Whitebeard in securing A—”

The door on the east side of the room burst open, and Rarity galloped in. Her mane and coat were ruffled in all directions and the former was a mess of tangles. Her gasps for air disheveled it further while sending beads of sweat onto the floor. With wide eyes she looked over to the table.

“Applejack! It’s terrible! I need your help right now!”

“What?” Applejack asked as she jumped out of her seat and over to Rarity’s side. “What’s wrong?”

“We were trying to get Mr. Ace to act a little more civil and…” Rarity clasped Applejack’s shoulder. “I can explain more along the way, but we have to go now. Twilight and I were barely keeping the two of them apart!”

Applejack’s face scrunched up for a moment before her eyes widened and she took off into a full gallop. Rarity followed behind her. Jinbei darted out of his seat as well, but could only lumber after them. Law ate the last bit of his muffin before pushing himself away from the table and going off to see what the commotion was about, even though from the direction everypony else ran and what Rarity had said, he already had an of idea what was going on.

Idiots, he thought.

Walking down the castle’s halls, he heard shouting coming from behind one of the many doors that lined the walls. He blinked when he noticed that the commotion was coming from a door on the right side of the hall rather than the left. Shifting his sword to his side, he pushed against the door and entered.

The shouting, now unmuffled, was a cacophony of insults, grunts, and pleas for calm. Neither Rainbow Dash nor Ace were having any of it though while attempting to reach out and grab the other. A lavender barrier courtesy of Twilight kept Dash from falling over her bed, but she was still sweating profusely and gasping for breath trying to maintain the spell. Dash struggled against Applejack’s hold and wailed on the barrier trying to get over to Ace. Jinbei and a seastone cuff restrained Ace to his own bed while he flailed around and managed to slam his legs into Jinbei’s stomach. The massive fishpony grunted from the accidental attack, but kept his grip strong.

“Let me go!” Dash rasped. “Let me show this jerk you don’t insult the Wonderbolts!”

“Consarn it!” Applejack shouted. “You’re gonna hurt yourself!”

“Jinbei!” Ace roared while a few of the bandages on his left stump of a foreleg turned red. “She insulted Pops! I need to teach her respect!”

“Rainbow Dash, please!” Rarity said while twisting her head back and forth at a manic pace. “He’s recovering! He doesn’t know what he’s saying!”

“Yes, he does!” Dash tensed up before being racked by a round of coughing. Rarity, Applejack, and Twilight’s faces paled before Dash stopped hacking and glared back at Ace. “He knows exactly what he’s saying.”

“And I’ll keep saying it!” Ace shouted. “You can take your stupid team and sh—”

Jinbei struck Ace in the head and his whole body went limp. With a snort, Jinbei sat down and looked to Law.

“I think sending us back to a single room would be best,” he said while looking down at Ace.

“Room,” said Law.

Jinbei, Ace, and the bed vanished, and silence returned to the room, save for Dash’s harsh breathing. Law took a step forward but stopped when a familiar voice made him cringe. Resting atop the stand beside Dash’s bed was Pinkie’s mouth, still with a wide grin on its lips.

“Marco!” it called out. “Pollo!”

Law’s left eye twitched. The mouth opened up again, but before it could say anything else, it vanished. Dash glared at Law and attempted to push off the bed, but Applejack held her down with a hoof.

“Hey!” she said. “What the hay are you doing to Pinkie’s mouth?”

“Trying to get some peace and quiet around here.” Law slid his blade an inch out of its scabbard. “That mouth of yours is also an impairment to that. I should just cut off yours and Fire Fist’s until you’re all recovered. A few limbs might also be a good safety measure.”

Rarity’s face gained a shade of green. “E-excuse me. I… I think there’s, uh, other business to attend to.”

She raced out of the room with a hoof to her mouth. Twilight shot Law a glare and he met it with an indifferent gaze.

“A little less morbidity could help improve your demeanor,” she said before turning back to Dash. “He has a point though. You’re recovering and you can’t let every little thing set you off.”

“He called the Wonderbolts a bunch of wimps and said flying was stupid.” Dash puffed up her cheeks and crossed her hooves over her chest. “Plus, he insulted Pinkie.”

“Well…” Twilight slid her eyes to the side. “Pinkie can take a bit to get used to.”

The door was flung open and Pinkie bounded into the room in a spray of confetti. Law’s face tightened as she cartwheeled over to Dash’s bed. She produced a kazoo and placed it on Dash’s mouth. “I just want to make everypony smile!”

The kazoo fell from Dash’s lips, which remained in a harsh frown. Pinkie turned to Twilight, who looked to the ground and sighed.

“Not the best time, Pinkie,” said Applejack.

“But I just found my mouth!” Pinkie pointed up to her muzzle and widened her smile. Before Law could react, she was at his side with a leg across his back. “Traffy comes up with some pretty fun games! Oh, maybe you could play some with Dashy to make her feel better?”

“I’m not here to entertain you.” Law lifted Pinkie’s leg off his back and marched closer to Twilight to create some distance. “I’m just here to insure Straw Hat and Fire Fist’s recovery, and your antics are not helping.”

Pinkie’s grin shrunk a little. “I just want to have some fun since you’re helping so much.”

“I’m with him on this, Pinkie.” Dash shifted around and reclined back on her stack of pillows, wincing a little from moving her burnt skin around.

Law turned his attention to Dash. “Then you should also know you need bedrest.”

Dash lowered her chin and rubbed one of her bandaged legs. “Yeah. Guess I got a little carried away. I’m still mad at him though.”

Pinkie tapped her chin. Her eyes brightened and she flashed Dash a grin. “Maybe we could show him that the Wonderbolts are awesome.”

Like the kazoo from earlier, Pinkie pulled out a piece of paper from somewhere and held it to Dash’s face. The corners were torn off from where it had been posted, but the blue silhouettes with a distinct lighting bolt going down their chests were still intact on in the center of the poster. The dates, including today’s, and a brief description of the derby were also on display at the bottom of the sheet.

Dash fell back on her pillows and let out a groan. “Gah! I thought that’d be canceled with everything that’d been going on!”

“It doesn’t matter,” said Law. “Neither you nor Fire Fist are in any state to be wa—”

Law’s eyes went from Dash over to Pinkie. A grin came to his face followed by a small a dry chuckle. Pinkie joined in as well with some guffaws before blinking and corking her head at him.

“Um, why are we laughing?”

“Because…” Law’s horn lit up. “You’re going to be a good friend and stay in the hothead’s place. Shambles.”

Pinkie and Dash gasped as cartoonish hearts exploded out of their chests and switched places. Both of them went limp with the former crashing to the floor. Twilight rushed to Pinkie’s side as her mane went flat as well. She shot a glare at Law, but Applejack was closer and managed to get a strong hold on his shoulder.

“What have you done?” she growled. “If you’ve hurt them I—”

“Keep it down, AJ,” Pinkie said. She pushed back some of her now-straight mane and looked up at Law with fierce eyes. “What’s the big idea with pushing me off the bed? You wanna fight or something?”

“Pinkie?” Twilight asked. “What are yo—”

“Ow!” Dash cried out from the bed. “Ow, ow, ow! Everything is itchy and stingy!”

Twilight, Applejack, and “Pinkie” both turned to see “Dash” writhing around on the bed like a filly. Her mane had poofed up into a fizzy style and her eyes were now soft and brimming with energy. She held back a few tears and winced before taking a breath and falling back on the bed. Her pupils widened and she let out a gasp seeing Twilight, Applejack, and “Pinkie” staring at her.

“Woah! I look funny!” she exclaimed. “Wait, if I’m here then is Dashie…”

With her face paling, “Pinkie” looked down at her hooves. Applejack relinquished her hold on Law and slapped “Pinkie” on the back. Her whole body quivered trying to hold back bursting into laughter. “You know, I don’t think pink is your color, Rainbow.”

“Oh no. No, no, no!” Dash shook her pink mane back and forth while Applejack fell to the ground laughing and holding her sides. “This is not happening!” She raced over to Law and grabbed his shoulders. “Change us back before I find out how hard Pinkie can punch!”

“Wait, Dashie!” Pinkie called out before wincing. She took some deep breaths before speaking again. “I… I don’t mind. You’ve been cooped up for days! It must be soooooooo boring! So, go on out and have some fun!”

“B-but…” Twilight said, twisting her head back and forth between the two switched ponies. She inhaled deeply and swept a hoof through her mane. She then turned her attention to Law. “Ugh, fine! On top of everything else, I now need to research on the effects of this ability while keeping Pinkie comfortable. Don’t think I won’t be asking you about this either! For now just… just have fun.”

“You heard the lady!” Pinkie chirped before she seized up and clenched her sides. “T-twilight? Applejack? A backscratch p-please?”

“Have fun,” Law said as he opened the door. He was about to step outside when Dash grabbed his shoulder.

“Oh no you don’t,” she said. “Who knows what other crazy magic medical stuff you’ve done to me. It’s super awesome that I can go see the derby, but I’m not risking Pinkie’s body without some insurance.”

Law smirked. “And why would I do that?”

“Because I’m asking.” A harsh heat fell upon Law’s back. He looked back to see Celestia standing standing out in the hall, her face hard and her eyes sharp. Despite the sheer force of being under her glare, Law remained unperturbed and kept his face straight. “If you’re going to be switching ponies’ bodies around, you’re going to be responsible for it.”

Celestia lowered her head so that she was at eye level with Law. Up close she could see just the tiniest bit of sweat forming around the brim of his hat. Her expression suddenly softened and she smiled.

“I think some time outside would be good for you as well,” she said. “Just be on good behavior.”

“And what of Straw Hat and Fire Fist?” Law asked. “A doctor must look after his patients.”

“I believe Jinbei is tending to Fire Fist at the moment and my sister is assisting Fluttershy now.” Celestia backed away and trotted over to the bed. “Consider this a sign of thanks. You’ll have the honor of being the first human to ever attend a Wonderbolts performance.”

Celestia’s horn flashed and a pair of passes attached to lanyards floated over to Law and Dash.

“For privacy’s sake, those will get you seating anywhere you want, even the boxes,” Celestia explained. “Now, you should get going, the race will be starting in a half hour.”

Dash chuckled. “I can get to the race in ten seconds…” She trailed off and slowly turned to look at her bare pink back. “Let’s just go.”

Law didn’t put up resistance when Dash tugged him out the door. His eyes were glazed over and his lips slightly parted as if he were in some sort of a stupor. Despite his clouded pupils, his eyes still twitched enough to give a hint of the calamity his mind was going through.

Pinkie managed to raise a bandaged hoof up as Law trudged out the door. “Bye, Traffy! Have fun!”

As the door closed, Applejack picked herself off ground having finally gotten her laughter out. Pinkie tried to lay back down but let out a gasp. She twisted her head back to see that one of her wings was pushing into the mattress at an odd angle.

“Ouchie!” she said, a few tears forming around her eyes. “Gotta be careful with these wings.”

“That reminds me…” Celestia turned to Applejack. “I saw Rarity running out of here looking quite ill, would you mind checking on her?”

“Sure thing, Princess.” Applejack trotted out the door and off to wherever Rarity had gone to.

“I hope Rarity is okay,” Pinkie said as she shifter around and tried to get comfortable on the bed. “She was looking more green tha—”

A golden aura engulfed Pinkie’s head and she fell back onto the pillow pile sound asleep. Twilight watched a tiny bubble of snot form around her nose before turning to face Celestia. The last bit of magic faded from the alicorn’s horn as she leveled her gaze at Twilight.

“That should take care of all the immediate issues,” she said. “To be honest, it’s best to have Law away from us as much as possible. His motives still aren’t clear to me.”

Twilight looked at the ground while she and Celestia moved out into the hallway. “I still don’t like this. Is all this secrecy really necessary?”

Celestia shifted a wing out and placed it over Twilight’s back. “We must have an advantage over Tirek when he strikes. That is why we must continue your training.”

~~~

“Awww yeah!” Dash proclaimed, pumping a pink hoof up and down. “Been a while, but this is gonna be awesome!”

She stood over a cliffside that led down into a foggy valley. A ring of puffy clouds rested near the top of the cliff like a crown with red flags marking its ovular shape. To its left was a wide swath of bleachers attached to a mountain that climbed high into sky. They were already filled with a colorful display of ponies, but many more trotted behind Dash and Law in a steady stream over to the racetrack’s entrance. Law glanced down at the multiple security checkpoints that separated the bleachers from the road before turning his back to the view of the racecourse from the cliffside.

“What’s the point of selling tickets to an event if you have a clear view from here?” he asked.

“Are you kidding?” Dash waved a hoof over the view. “You can barely see who’s who from here. I mean, it’s nice for ponies who can’t afford tickets, but if you can see the Wonderbolts up close, it is the most awesome thing. Ever.”

“Let’s just get our seats.” Law walked back over to the road and joined the rest of the ponies going to the racetrack.

He and Dash soon arrived at the one of the several security checkpoints where a guard lowered his halberd, blocking their path. His eyes locked onto the lengthy sword across Law’s back.

“Sir, weapons are prohibited in the bleachers.” The guard pointed to a small bin with a single dagger and a pair scissors at the bottom. “You can pick up your property up on the way out.”

“Of course.” Law levitated the sword off his back and over to the guard. He and Dash then walked through the security checkpoint and over to the base of the bleachers.

“Didn’t think you’d let them take your sword so easily,” Dash said while scanning the crowds for an empty seat. After a moment she let out a groan. “Guh, I don’t see anything open.”

“We’re getting a box,” Law said.

“Crud.” Dash kicked at the ground, which somehow sent out a weak spray of confetti. “What’s the point of having all the fancy stuff if you can’t even see anything from up there?”

Law ignored Dash’s whining and took a step up towards the collection of private viewing booths that rested above the bleachers and overhung over the topmost ones. Dash followed and the two quickly made it to the top where another guard stood in front of a velvet rope. Behind him, a collection of mares and stallions in formal wear socialized while sipping sparkling drinks and eating decadent hors d'oeuvres.

“This is the VIP section,” said the guard when Law and Dash came to a stop in front of him.

Law floated his pass up to the guard’s face. “Then we’re in the right spot.”

The guard peered down, blinked, and reread the pass. His horn lit up and overtook Law’s aura with the guard’s own magic as it screened the pass. After a moment, his spell faded and the pass fell down under Law’s neck again. “Hmm, box six is open, sir. We’ll have refreshments sent up right away. Enjoy the race.”

A hush fell upon the socialites closest to the guard and spread like wildfire across their ranks. With more and more eyes turning to Law and Dash, a chorus of muttering erupted from the crowd. Without waiting for the guard, Law unclicked the velvet rope and stepped closer to the crowd, which parted as if he had a barrier up around him. Dash followed behind him, sweat starting to trickle down her muzzle.

“Uh, we’re getting a few looks,” she whispered to Law. “I mean, there’s no way they could know the most awesome Wonderbolt candidate is stuck as her Earth Pony friend for the day, but I don’t want them to pry.”

Before Law could say something , he found his path blocked by a white unicorn. Despite the two of them being the same height, the white pony looked down his muzzle at Law. He scanned over the tattoos etched across Law’s legs from the individual gears to the vine-like drawings that curled up his legs to form a heart around chest. His eyes widened a bit reading the letters carved right above Law’s hooves.

“You seem a little lost,” he said, voice thick and nasally with pride. “This is the VIP section, and you and your little Earth Pony filly don’t appear to be very important ponies.”

“Hey!” Dash pushed forward and jabbed a hoof at the white stallion’s chest. “You’re that jerk Rarity put up with at the Gala!”

“That’s Prince Blueblood, commoner!” he said, swatting Dash’s hoof away. “And I think I’d be far too mortified to associate myself with anypony even remotely tied to such an uncouth pony!”

Dash gritted her teeth and puffed up her chest. “You should be kissing all our hooves for saving your sorry flank Celestia knows how many times! Now, get out of our way before I make you!”

The ends of Dash’s mane flicked up for the briefest moment and regained their rainbow hue before falling back to her sides again. Before she or Blueblood could say anything else, Law stepped in between them and placed a hoof at the base of Blueblood’s neck. Rather than reach up and push it away as he’d done with Dash, Blueblood froze, a cold sweat erupting across his body.

“Look, I’ve already had to be dragged out here, so I might as well see why you all won’t shut up about this.” Law easily shoved Blueblood aside and moved past him. He glanced back at Dash, who shot Blueblood a brief look. He raised a shaking hoof to his chest and shuddered, his face now pale and dripping with sweat. Dash said nothing and followed after Law.

They were silent until they reached their designated box and slipped inside. Plush chairs rested at the front of the room where one could get a full view of the racecourse and the fog-filled valley beyond. Beside the chairs was a glistening mahogany table that stretched over all their seats and was filled with all manner of drink and food. Law spun one of the chairs around, revealing his sword propped up on it. He scooted it aside and fell onto the chair. He then floated over a small green bottle; with a blink if his horn, the bottle opened and he was about to bring it to his lips when he saw that Dash was looking at him with a giddy smile.

“That was awesome!” she called out. “How’d you make that snob shut up so fast? And where’d your sword come from?”

“From the security checkpoint,” Law said while hanging the sword’s strap over the corner of his chair. He reclined back and took a sip straight from the bottle but paused before swallowing. He eventually managed to get the drink down and let out a small snort. The bottle floated back onto the table. “As for the entitled idiot, I didn’t do anything. Surprisingly, he at least had enough sense to know I could cut him into tiny pieces.”

Dash paled a little and took her own seat. “Kinda glad I didn’t have to see that.”

“You ponies are all too squeamish.” Law floated a pear over and tore a chunk out of it. “At least you’re not all stuck up idiots like that though.”

A string of trumpets sounded and echoed across the stadium. Dash rushed over to the edge of the box and leaned outside of the viewing window. A line of uniformed pegasi had formed over a bit of cloud marked by a single referee standing at the side with a checkered flag held high.

“Oh my gosh, oh my gosh! There’s Fleetwood! And there’s Gale Storm! Holy Equestria! Thunder Chaser is here too!” Dash let out an excited squeal before turning to Law. “I don’t even know who to place bets on! What do you think?”

“I think you should calm down before you fall out of the box.” Law took another bite out of his pear. “Also, first person to ever see these games, remember? How do you expect me to gauge the competition?”

Dash puffed up her cheeks at him. “Just sit back and watch. I bet you’ve never seen anything like this!”

~~~

Dash opened the door and shuffled out of the box with a massive grin plastered to her face. Under her breath, she repeatedly muttered, “So cool.”

Law followed behind with a small smirk on his face. It quickly faded back to a neutral line when a pony bumped into him. He looked up to see a white unicorn, this time with a blue mane and accompanying mustache. A thin mare with a pink mane was practically attached to his hip, and both were looking at Law, scanning over his various tattoos.

“Terribly sorry,” said the stallion before quickly glancing at his accompaniment. “We were a little caught up in discussing the results. A fine show, wasn’t it?”

“Even if you had your money on Fleetwood?” the mare purred.

Dash stepped forward. “Well, nopony could have expected Gale Storm to use Fleetwood’s draft as a way to reduce his own drag. That’s the Wonderbolts for you though.”

“Quite the perceptive observation.” The stallion blinked and adjusted his monocle. A smile then came to his face. “Why, you’re one of Ms. Rarity’s friends. What a surprise!”

“Oh yeah,” said Dash. “You’re that cool rich pony Rarity made friends with, Fancy Talk.”

“Fancy Pants,” Fancy corrected. “You know, I didn’t have you pegged as a Wonderbolts fan.”

“Are you kidding?” said Dash. “I love them!”

“Well, always nice to find another fan of the derby.” He leaned a little closer and whispered into her ear. “A few ponies seem to think it’s more about talking amongst themselves than watching.”

Fancy pulled back and turned his attention to Law. He extended out a hoof to him. “I don’t believe I’ve had the pleasure.”

Law took hold of the hoof and shook it. “Law.”

“Fancy Pants.” He retracted his hoof back down to his side. “A bit confusing say, but a friend of a friend of Ms. Rarity’s is a friend of mine as well. And what were your thoughts on the race?”

“They’re all quite maneuverable,” Law said. “But as my acquaintance already said, the big one taking the lead was probably the highlight.”

“Quite.” Fancy looked over Law again, his eyes lingering on the spoked smile on his flanks. “Forgive me for prying, but may I ask what you do? It’s a bit hard to determine from you cutie mark.”

Law glanced back his mark. “I’m a traveling doctor.”

“A doctor with good taste,” said Fancy’s mare as she extended out a hand for Law to shake. “Fleur De Lis, a pleasure. You simply must tell me where you procured that hat of yours.”

“Salespony I met on the road,” Law lied while shaking her hoof

Fleur frowned, retracted her hoof, and moved back to Fancy’s side. “A shame, it’s quite a catch.”

Law felt a quick jab to his side and glared at Dash as she brought her leg back down.

“Thanks,” she said. “But we should probably be getting back now.”

“Nice to see you again.” Fancy looked to Law. “And meet you. Give Ms. Rarity my regards.”

Fancy and Fleur then bled into the rest of the crowd. Dash glared at Law for a brief moment before marching over to the exit. Law followed as the two pushed against the rest of the crowd.

“You could learn how to take a compliment,” Dash said as they neared the exit.

“The world didn’t end,” Law quipped. “Let’s just get back to the castle.”

“Yeah…” Dash’s eyes went off to the side. “We just need to make one little stop.”

~~~

The afternoon sun was slowly sinking to the west, its bottom edging ever closer to mountains that loomed over Canterlot. Its light still shined down on the city and the myriad of streets and alleys that crisscrossed it though. Law and Dash found themselves on one such street. The former had his head raised to the castle while the latter was scanning the various streets the path they were on broke off to.

“Guh, this would be so easy if I could just fly,” said Dash.

“This is ridiculous. What does getting a treat matter?” Law gestured to the castle. “We could’ve been back hours ago.”

“Excuse me for wanting to get Pinkie something to thank her with!” Dash snapped before disappearing down an alley. However, she quickly found herself turned around and walking straight back to Law. “Stop doing that!”

“She has all the sugary confections she could want at the castle. I highly doubt some back alley store will have better.”

Dash snorted at him. “Look, I know that shop is around here somewhere. I just need t—”

“Pinkie Pie?”

Dash and Law turned to see that Fluttershy was standing in the middle of a street that branched off from the one they were on. At her side was a large white bear wearing an orange jumpsuit with a mark identical to Law’s cutie mark emblazoned on it.

“Captain!” it called out, waving a paw at him. “We were looking for you!”

Fluttershy raced over and went to Dash’s side. “Oh, we was so worried when you didn’t come back after the race ended!”

“Sorry about that.” Dash lowered her head. “I just thought it’d be nice to get Pinkie something for letting me go see the Wonderbolts.”

“But you’re…” Fluttershy blinked. She looked over Dash, taking in the straight mane and sharpened eyes. “Oh… oh my, I forgot. Are you doing okay, Dash?”

“For a day.” Dash lifted her head and glanced at her back. She then turned Fluttershy. “What exactly are you and a bear doing out here anyway?” There was a brief pause before she added, “Actually, just why are you here? The bear can come later.”

The bear sniffled and bowed its head. “Okay.”

“Bepo.” Law advanced over to his crewmate with his eyes on the large pack slung over the bear’s back. “Did you find one?”

“Yes, sir!” Bepo proudly proclaimed. “Do you want me to leave it with you?”

“No, you can come back to the castle with us.” Law lifted his gaze upwards. “You can bring some food back for the men too, it’s probably getting a little dull on the ship.”

“The ones that got wings are enjoying it…” Bepo cast his eyes down. “I want wings.”

“What are you doing out here anyway?” Law moved closer to Bepo. “Anything regarding that was to stay at the ship or the castle. And don’t tell me you just happened to be on a walk with the stuttering one.”

“I… I tried to deliver it straight to you at the castle, but you weren’t there.” Bepo looked over to Fluttershy, who was in the midst of a conversation with Dash. “Ms. Fluttershy said you’d gone out for breakfast but thought you taking four hours on it was a bit odd. The Princess, the white one, helped us out though.”

“How generous of her.” Law glanced up at the sun. “I wonder how she could’ve found us.”

“She had this neat spell!” said Bepo. “It sounds a little dangerous though. Ms. Twilight looked really worried when the Princess cast it.”

Law closed his eyes, took a deep breath, and shook his head. “Let’s just get back.”

“Wait!” Dash rushed over with a wide grin on her face. “Fluttershy says we’re just a few blocks away from the shop and it’s on the way to the castle anyway!”

“Captain.” Bepo pressed his face close to Law’s. “We may not get the chance to have pony-made sweets ever again.”

One of Law’s eyes twitched.

A short while later, the group entered into the bakery, a bell jingling from the door opening. Racks of bread lined the walls behind the counter while shelves to the sides displayed colorful multileveled cakes. A clear case filled with smaller treats like macaroons and cupcakes made up the left half of the counter. Dash licked her lips at the sight of all the food despite have helped herself to generous amounts of free hors d'oeuvres at the derby.

“I can see why Pinkie likes this place,” she said.

The creek of the shop’s floorboards alerted everypony (and bear) to somepony coming from the kitchen at the back. The creaks came slowly as a wrinkled orange muzzle came into sight, followed by the rest of an elderly pony. He was stooped low with a back crooked from age and his legs shook with each step. Yet, a smile kept his face from sagging.

“Welcome,” he said. He locked onto Dash and squinted at her. “Ms. Pie? Is that you?”

“Uh…” Dash glanced at Fluttershy before looking back to the elderly pony. “Yeah. Was in town and thought I’d come in and get something fun to eat.”

“And you even brought friends this time. Wonderful!” The elderly pony blinked in Bepo’s direction. “No offense, young fella, but I’d recommend a smaller treat. You look big enough to take on an ursa minor.”

Dash couldn’t help snickering a little. She stopped when she noticed the elderly pony focusing on her again.

“That little bit of cake you all sent was quite good,” he mused, eyes fogging up a little. “I can’t believe they now make pans that size though! How did you manage to get all the batter so evenly dispersed?”

“Um…” A bit a sweat formed on Dash’s face. “Really big spatulas.”

“Of course, of course.” The elderly pony nodded at Dash’s answer. He moved over to the display case and started putting some cupcakes into a bag. “And how are the foals doing?”

“The what?” Dash yelped. She spun over to Fluttershy. “What sort of secrets has Pinkie been keeping?”

“I thi—”

“It was when we went to Las Pegasus, wasn’t it?” Sweat started pouring down Dash’s face.

“Da-Pinkie, he’s ta—”

“I knew I shouldn’t have had all that cider.” Dash paced back and forth while Law and Fluttershy watched. The former’s lips dangled open a little watching Dash lose it. To the elderly pony’s credit, he continued to calmly pack up sweets. Dash suddenly raced over to Fluttershy and pressed her face close to hers. “What if she needed our help but was too scared to say anyth—”

“He’s talking about Pound and Pumpkin!” Fluttershy shouted, blowing back Dash’s mane. She looked over to the elderly pony, who was just finishing up gathering the sweets and was struggling to lift the bag over to the register. Fluttershy hovered over and assisted him in hauling it up to the counter. “I am so sorry, Mr. Flour. Pinkie’s just feeling a little under the weather today.”

Mr. Flour let out a raspy laugh. “She seems to just be being herself. Great thing to have such a perky mare around my grandkids.”

“Oh.” Dash’s eyes widened. She wiped away some of the sweat on her face and trotted over to the counter. “Right, right. So how much is this all gonna be?”

Mr. Flour laughed even harder and pushed the bag over to Dash. “Ms. Pie, you are always quite the kidder. Getting something from my son’s and some pictures of the foals will be enough payment as always.”

“Wow, um…” Dash brought her hooves around the bag and placed it on her back. “Thanks.”

“Are we done here?” asked Law.

Fluttershy lightly tapped him on the shoulder. “Don’t you want anything?”

Law scanned over the racks of pastries and grimaced. “I don’t like bread.”

“C’mon, Captain. I bet they have something you like here.” Bepo then turned to Mr. Flour. “Three custard tarts, please.”

“That all?” Mr. Flour asked while putting the tarts into a small paper bag.

“Yes.” Bepo bowed his head. “Sorry.”

Bepo paid for the food before grasping the bag with his teeth. He then turned around and flashed Law a smile. Law shook his head and sighed before advancing over to the counter.

“One jelly donut.”

~~~

“Not what I was expecting,” Dash said.

The group trotted along the Canterlot streets with their sights on the castle. Law was the only one with his eyes elsewhere as he continued to munch on his treat.

“I was thinking you’d get something li—”

“Halt!” came a harsh voice, cutting off Dash.

A small squad of guards rushed out from the nearby alleys and encircled the group. A few of them pointed their spears down. One of them stepped forward and snorted.

“We have received reports of a dangerous creature wandering the streets,” the guard said, leveling his gaze at Bepo. “For the sake of keeping the peace, all of you will come calmly and quietly to the nearest guard post.”

Law glared up at Bepo, who bowed his head.

“Just as I was starting to enjoy today.” Law advanced closer to the head guard and shifted his sword to the side. The rest of the guard moved their spears away from Bepo and pointed them at Law. A wind picked up underneath him. “Look, the bear is with me, so if you could just let us pass, that would be very beneficial to all of us.”

“Sir, dangerous creatures are expressly forbidden from open transport.” The head guard glanced down at Law’s sword. “I’ll be needing to see your license for that weapon as well.”

A smirk came to Law’s face. He started inching his sword out of its scabbard. Fluttershy rushed over and placed a hoof on its hilt. With quivering lips, she said, “Please, Mr. Guard. There’s no need to cause a commotion. He really is a sweet little guy.”

Bepo blushed red.

“Your word isn’t enough insurance, ma'am.” In one swift move, the guard sent out a pair of cuffs and latched one of them onto Fluttershy’s leg. “Now come with us a—”

A pink hoof slammed into the guard’s face and knocked him into some of the other guards. All those that remained standing pointed their spears at Dash. She snorted at them while she helped Fluttershy up. “You’ve got another thing coming if you think you can treat Fluttershy like a thug!”

“Seize them!” a guard yelled.

The squad raced at them, weapons poised to strike and horns aglow with magic. A bubble of air formed around Law before expanding outwards to cover all the guards and a good majority of the street. In one swift movement, he unsheathed his sword and slashed in multiple directions.

“Shambles,” he said with a grin.

The entire squad of guards fell to pieces that vanished for a brief instant before reappearing all over the place. Spears were where tails should have been, helmets in place of limbs, and heads replaced hooves. Chaotic cries went up as the guards tried to sort themselves back together, but only a few even managed to stay balanced. One of them managed to swing the spear that had replaced his right foreleg, but Law easily blocked it his sword.

“Don’t let them escape!” a disembodied muzzle yelled.

“Too late,” said Law.

He and the rest of the group vanished, only to reappear on a rooftop a few yards away but out of the guards’ sight. Law grinned down at the chaos below, but Fluttershy and Dash lost some color in their faces. Fluttershy reached out and tapped Law on the shoulder.

“They’re not going to be stuck like that, are they?” she asked.

“They’re smart.” Law chucked the last bit of his donut into his mouth. “Give them a couple hours and they should be fine.”

He suddenly swung his sword down and lopped off Fluttershy’s leg, but held her up with some magic. Floating her severed limb up to his face, he slid the cuff off of it before levitating it back to Fluttershy.

“T-thank you,” Fluttershy said, her face now a little green as she took her leg and reaffixed it to the her rest of her limb. “I think it’s time to go back to the castle.”

“Yeah…” Dash glanced down at the guards. A few had managed to separate from their weapons and armor and were now combing over the chaotic pile of body parts in search of their own. “Might want to stay off the main roads.”

“That should be easy.” Law created another sphere around the group. “I’m gonna be tired after this though, so don’t bother me when we get back.”

“What are yo—” Dash was cut off by the group vanishing again.

~~~

Ace glared at the door, his face tight with his lips twisted into a harsh frown. Jinbei rested in a chair next his bed, his snores echoing across the room. The last bit of daylight slipped into the room from a window that overlooked the sweeping valley the castle sat above. It was too far away for Ace to reach while chained to the bed, but all that waited outside were immaculately smooth walls and a drop into the fog below. So, he sat on the bed while the past days’ events looped in his head.

The door creaking open brought him back to the present. He snorted when Law stepped into the room with a large pack strapped to his back. “Having fun?”

“Do you consider imprisonment fun?” Ace shot back.

“Better than losing your head.” Law jabbed his scabbard at Ace’s neck. “I can give you a sample of what that’s like if you continue to act like a spoiled brat.”

Ace’s shoulders sunk and he reclined back on the bed. “Fine, do your creepy checkup. My left side’s been itching anyway.”

“Let’s see how much it itches after this.” Law pulled out his sword and sliced off a bit of Ace’s left shoulder. At the same time, he unzipped his bag and flung its contents onto Ace.

“Gah!” A spasm ran through Ace’s body as he clawed at whatever Law had thrown on him. It felt like his shoulder was on fire again as he writhed around before the pain finally faded enough for him to see straight again. He clamped a hoof onto the damaged area, gasping for breath. He suddenly froze and looked down to see an olive green leg sticking out of his stump of a limb. The room went silent as the leg’s hoof twisted upward. The effort made Ace wince.

“It took Bepo a bit to find a leg the proper length from our storage.” Law shook his head. “Having arms and legs turn into near-identical limbs made this quite a pain, so don’t go doing something stupid with it…” A grin came to his face. “... if you ever see life outside of this castle, that is.”

“What are you planning?” Ace huffed.

“A doctor must tend to his patients,” Law mused. “And personally, I’d stop fighting and accept life here. The locals are annoying fools, but they’re far kinder than anything you’ll find on the sea.”

~~~

Two ponies dressed in identical white jumpsuits, but with an orange hat and a blue one respectively, pressed their hooves against some rails and looked out onto the thick sea of clouds the expanded out from their yellow submarine. Even further up in the sky, stars began to come out as night took over the horizon. Far off, they could see the moon just starting to peak over the clouds.

“You think the captain is having fun?” asked the one in the blue hat.

“More than we are,” said the other pony. He glanced down at the clouds and sighed. “At least you can swim on the sky island clouds.”

“Kind weird that our ship can float on it though,” said Bepo.

The two crewmen jumped and spun around. Both raised their hooves and smacked Bepo on the head.

“Don’t sneak up like that!” they both yelled.

“Sorry.” Bepo kept his head lowered. “You were wondering about the captain though, so I thought I’d come over.”

“Oh yeah,” the pony in the orange hat mused. “How was it back on the ground?”

“Super neat. I got custard tarts and a bunch of food for everyone else,” Bepo explained with a grin. “Plus, a pony got rid of that knot in my neck.”

“And the captain?” asked the blue hatted pony.

“I think he’s actually relaxing.” Bepo paused when both crewmen gasped. “Yeah, it was pretty surprising. He even looked like he was having fun when we ran into a bunch of guards.”

Both crewmen started to chuckle but stopped and straightened their postures. Bepo froze feeling a hoof on his shoulder. He turned to see Law right behind him.

“Bepo, you’re starting to remind me of the pink one,” he said, his breath sending a chill up Bepo’s spine.

“C-captain,” he stuttered,“I… I thought y-you were staying at the castle.”

“I was.” Law lofted up a newspaper to Bepo’s face. A picture of a bunch of mangled guards covered the middle of the front page. The headline read: Mysterious Assailants Assault Guard. Canterlot on High Alert. “But it turns out causing a mass panic doesn’t get you in the monarchy’s favor. So, I’m stuck here unless there’s an emergency with Straw Hat.”

He paused to look around the deck before glaring at his three subordinates. “Seems the ship has gotten dirty while I’ve been away. Good thing you three are on cleanup duty until we leave, and we don’t go until Straw Hat is conscious again. Now, get to work.”

Without another word, Bepo and the other crewmen darted away from Law. Alone now, he walked over to the rails and stared out at the night sky. He breathed in the night air and allowed some of the tension to leave his body. It returned when he felt something tap on his shoulder. Yet, when he spun around, he was still alone. There was now a pink letter on the ground with his name scrawled on it though. He sighed and opened it up to read its contents.

Dear Traffy,

Thank you super-duper-much for taking Dashy to the derby and getting me treats! She sounds like she had a really fun time. Sorry you had to get in fight with the guards though. Anyway, hope you can come back and play some more games sometimes. It was super fun switching places with Dashy, even if all I did was sleep. Well, have fun, hope to see you again soon.

-Pinkie

Law stared at the letter for a moment before crumpling it up and letting it fall into the clouds below. With shrunken eyes heavy from the day’s events, he looked over to the door that led into the ship and shuffled towards it. He froze when the wind blew in such a way that it sounded like a giggle, causing him to shudder.

Straw Hat, he thought. Wake up before the pink one drives me mad.

~~~

Mr. Flour slowly swept a broom across the floor. He hacked when he swirled up some dust but resumed cleaning up once he’d recovered. The door ringing made him pause again.

“Sorry,” he said to the customer. “I’m just about to close shop.”

He fell silent when the customer reached into his feathery pink coat and produced a large brown bag. It clinked when it hit the floor next to Mr. Flour’s hooves.

“I’ll be taking everything you’ve got,” said the customer. “I have a friends who’s a big sweet eater.”

“Why, thank you!” Mr. Flour stooped down and picked up the bag before moving as fast as he could to the display case.

The customer’s sharp grin widened. “Just wanting to see everypony smile.”