The Next Conversion

by GoldenGoomba900

Rating: teen
Tags: Human, Dark, Alternate Universe, Comedy, Adventure
Length: 9981

A Conversion Bureau fic

A man goes to Bureau 101, only for it to be raided by the Human Liberation Front. Feeling obligated to save those in the bureau he tries to save those lost. On the way he will face several madmen setting themselves to destroy the entire project.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2012-11-15 04:50:27 UTC

Silver Saddle

    The sun set slowly on the horizon of the small town, leaving an orange sky to marvel at. The townsfolk dared not look at it though, as it marked the coming of the man who swore against them. The folks rounded their children into their homes, praying they would reach them before he did.

   He walked into the distance, or rather I did. A smile on my face showed I had no fear of the town’s sheriff, nor any of his deputies. My firearm was loaded with no less than the most powerful of ammo and I had kept his weapon in flawless shape to face off with anyone who dared cross my path. As I saw the town on the horizon I pointed the gun to the sky and fired, testing to see if it had any minor issues he would want to deal with before a gunfight.

   BANG

   I awoke on the cold hard floor of my apartment, my body had once more pushed me out of my perfect dream and into a world of pain. Standing up I checked himself for any bruises or cuts; my long, gangly arms were free of blemishes, my tall, spindly legs were as well, my bald, thick skull however had gained a new feature to my large nose as warm sticky red fluid began to flow like a waterfall.

   Taking a few tissues from a box I kept next to his bed I headed to the bathroom and started to try and wash my face of my own blood. The entire room was at one point a bright white, it had hurt my eyes every time I stepped inside. I’d tried to dull it down by painting the walls a deep brown but it only made the white factors more hellish on my eyes.

   It did not matter though, I was about to leave my two room apartment behind for a nicer life in a new land. A land that (At least according to the government) was an endless plantation of possibilities, of beauty and mystery. It was the day I had planned to step into the front door of that bureau and make trails toward the new land. The land of Equestria.

   I walked up to the large building. No! Large was not the word to describe the size of it, it was colossal. Naturally it made sense that it was huge, the bureau had started out as a power plant before they shut it down and eventually bought for this. It was red in color, perhaps the warming color scheme was to persuade the curious that it was a safe place.

   On the building was a sign saying, in big green letters: “Bureau 101: ask about our free tours!” Accompanying the letters were 2 pictures of ponies smiling on each side, one a mare and the other a stallion. The local commercials named them Happy and Sunny, saying that they would be behind you with any decision you made. Their smiling faces brought odd Orwellian feelings to the locals but those new to town loved the child-friendly couple.

   As I walked into the building I wondered if this was the only bureau to advertise or if it was simply the only bureau in the tri-state area, as the commercials on the holo-tube had stated. The people in the room I had meandered into stared at me oddly, as if they had never seen a man like me. Perhaps it was my own fault for dressing as a cowboy, especially in a Midwestern environment. I doubt my appearance was normal but as I looked to the people in the waiting room; a couple with Mohawks, a muscular farmer in overalls, a man in a tuxedo and top hat, a woman dressed in a large, light blue coat, and a small child dressed as a superhero, I felt like I was the only normal person left on the planet. The entire thing was like I had stepped into a bad Gary Larson comic.

   Chuckling at my own joke I approached the counter and rang the bell. As if by magic (It may have been for all I knew) a short unicorn pony with a light yellow coat and deep purple mane immediately stood in front of me, her smile was one of those you’d only see twice in your life: one that reassured that you had nothing to worry about.

“Hello!” she said, her grin unchanged. “Welcome to Bureau number 101! Would you like a short tour of our facility?”

   As tempting as the prospect seemed I decided not to, I would have had plenty of time once I had signed up. I explained that I had wanted to sign up for the conversion and her ears seemed to droop.

“Oh… well take a seat over there and we’ll have a doctor interview you in a short while,” she said in a less bubbly voice. I heard her mumbling something about the tour before she left for what I would assume was the employee’s lounge. I took a number from one of those counter things and went back to the main room.

   As I sat on one of the couches I began to examine the waiting room more thoroughly. The walls were an eggshell white with a light violet outline they were only disrupted by the occasional motivational poster (one for each wall) and a holo-tube they had set up. Oddly enough there was nothing but a static image of a glaring man on it, the vertical seemed to have been broken as the image was constantly scrolling up. Perhaps someone had hit the pause button on a remote and lost it to the hordes of change and batteries in the couch cushions. As I reached my hand into the couch, perhaps as an act of boredom, perhaps as an attempt to find a remote, I stopped as my palm touched it.

   “Number 27 please enter for your preliminary.” I quickly checked my stub and found the number 39 looking back at me. I had plenty of time to kill and I was feeling a bit sleepy, so I pulled my hat over my face and let the darkness surround me. As I shut my eyes I started to wonder about my name once I had turned, maybe something classy like Blazing Saddle or perhaps something like Rusty Spurs or Red Mane. That’s it, Red Mane! A classy and threatening name.

   Hopefully his mane would match his description, lord knows he wouldn’t want to be called Red Mane when he’s all pink. Then it hit me, like a truck hits the side of a barn.

“Trigger!” I shouted loudly and proudly, my hat falling into the man next mine’s lap. The entire waiting room turned to glare at me for doing something so suddenly.

   I sheepishly put my hat back on, trying to hide myself behind the imitation leather. Once the brim covered my face they were out of my mind. What was in my mind now was taking a nap, hopefully I could get back to my dream before I was called in.

OOC: And so it begins. My second story of survival in the face of death. It began as a heavily detailed story but will quickly devolve into a generic action movie. I still enjoy it, just not as much as I wanted too.

A Man Alone

   “Number 37 report to the Interview room!” The voice on the intercom said, shaking me awake. Sighing, I picked myself up and started to the door, checking myself to see if one of the freaks had stolen my things. I found everything there, but frankly they could have taken all the money to my name and I wouldn’t have cared but god forbid they touch my gun. As soon as I was sure I was out of anyone’s line of sight I took it out, my revolver was untouched and undamaged just as I had taken it from my home.

   I put her away before I stopped in front of a door marked ‘Interviews’. I opened the door and standing there was Sunny! I was startled to see such a renowned stallion in front of me, to us locals it was like meeting Walt Disney or Elvis! As I stood flabbergasted I let myself take in the whole visual of him. He was a completely orange equine with red eyes, no taller than the mare at the desk and he had (true to his name) a cutie mark of a cartoon-y sun.

   “Hi there!” He said in a voice matching one the likes of Barney Rubble. “I’m here to make sure YOU-” He said jabbing a hoof into my chest, “Have the best possible time!” He was energetic and consistently happy through my interview, thankfully asking nothing of my past except for my day of birth. The entire thing was surreal, I had met one of the local celebrities who proceeded to ask me about myself as if I was the one he couldn’t believe was in the room.

   After a good fifty questions he pushed me out telling me to head right and stop at room 13. He slammed the door on me before I could respond in any way and once more I was alone. I took his advice and started to the right. On the way to room thirteen they had hung up some odd paintings…

   One of them was a pony flying a kite in a rainstorm, dressed in colonial garbs and a powdered wig. Another was the same pony being hit by lightening, his powdered wig flying off and his clothing being torched as a result. The third of them was a close up of the pony, his body visibly scorched by the lightening, his clothing was set aflame, and he appeared to have swallowed his tongue.

   I wondered who would have set up such dark paintings in a building like this. A place full of kindness and loving staff with such a thing. I hoped I could try and coerce the lunatic who hung them up to take them down. I turned around to try and see them once again, hoping that I had simply misunderstood them, but when I turned the walls were lined with nothing.

   Did I just conjure them up? Am I just going mad?

   “Hey there!” A cheery voice said freaking me out. I quickly turned and reached for my revolver before I saw Happy. “Did I scare you? I’m sorry, I just like saying hi to new people!” Her namesake was presenting itself almost as an aura of joy. “My name’s Happy and I’m here to show you to your room!” She quickly started me pushing into the door, and into a hallway, this one was full of doorways each marked with roman numerals. “Here you are! Room number…13? I can’t figure out these weird things, I mean why do you people draw these things with Xs and Ls? I mean, I think those are Ls, I still haven’t figured out these-”

   It was at that moment she registered my glare as a sign to quiet herself.

“Here’s your room key, now go in and say hi to your room mate.” She left me to my room and started to mumble silently about how she wanted a nice person to escort for once. I felt a bit sorry for her and tried to call out to her. It was too late though as she was either ignoring me or out of earshot.

   I opened my door to find a man in a biker’s jacket standing on a chair shrieking. I scanned the room and found that a rather large spider had crawled onto a dresser next to his bed. I took my fist and slammed it onto the spider, killing it instantly and quieting the screaming man. A short pause followed and I turned to face him.

   “I… was singing.” He said, combing his hair back and smiling as if his lie had persuaded me.

“I had no clue men could be sopranos.” I said, a smile coming to my face as I tested if my razor wit was still sharp.

“So,” he said changing the subject, “My name is Bruce, what’s yours?”

   He pulled a switchblade and started toying with it, perhaps in a way to try and make himself seem like he was the bigger man in the room.

“My name’s Rick.” I said as I shut the door behind me and put my suitcase on the bed next to his. He seemed to be content with himself and put away his dagger, I took out my revolver and put it on the dresser chuckling as I imagined his face when he saw the gun.

   “Where’d you get THAT?” He said vocally impressed and jealous at the same time.

“Found it.” I lied, god knows I wasn’t about to tell HIM where I had truly gotten such a beauty. “When’s Lunch? I had a small breakfast.” I said changing the subject as subtly as a monster truck in a high school prom.

   It had been a week since I had first come here, nothing eventful happened. I had tried to find Sunny to apologize but she had apparently locked herself in the employees only area. I had tried for hours to get one of the security guards to get me a clearance pass, but just when I was about to get it…

“Johnson! Get over here!” His radio crackered and the man dashed to his cohorts position.

   I was going to go after him but then an alarm went off. I was blind sighted by a bunch of people and ponies dashing down the hallways to my position. I felt the hooves and shoes pummel me into the floor before someone helped me up.

   “You gotta be careful pal.” Bruce said picking me up from the floor. “Come on man we need to get to the safe room.”

“Why?” I asked as oblivious as I could be.

“The Human Liberation Front! They’re storming the place and trying to shut it down, and I don‘t know about you but I don‘t want to end up like Happy…”

   I was silent for a while, “What did they do to Happy?” I asked, angered.

“They took her man, kicking and screaming! I do not want to imagine-” he went on to describe what he had heard they did to HLF prisoners. Describing how each of the camps had different styles of execution, if you were lucky they would be sector 145; the one that would just put a bullet in your head with nothing fancy to it.

   “I’m going after her.” I said, suddenly filled with determination.

“What?!” He shouted full of concern.

“You heard me. I am not coming back until I bring her back. You’d best stay here and tell the others what I’m about to do.”

   “But dude that’s-” I began walking away before he could finish what he was saying. I was going to go save her, god knows I wouldn’t want small children to look at the sign and ask who the mare was to the unfortunate pony on duty.

   It was not an enjoyable feeling for anyone, for someone to ask about someone who is...

   “OY! We got a straggler!” A man with an obnoxious accent shouted from down the hall. His voice was filled with joy knowing he could add another notch in his weapon. I quickly ducked behind a corner as he came for me, hiding in a doorway until he passed. I quickly grabbed him by the neck and pulled him into the doorway.

   He began to put up a hell of a fight, stomping my feet, trying to bite my arm, etc. I searched the room for something to stop the struggling man for escaping my grip and getting his gun. I was in a locker room, perhaps by one of the women’s showers, the lockers were all about my size. His struggling persisted and he was able to head butt me causing me to lose my grip, but it didn’t matter I had found somewhere to imprison him. As he bolted towards the door and the gun he had dropped in the hallway I tackled him, slamming his skull into the floor.

   He laid dazed on the linoleum and even though he could have been unconscious I wasn’t taking that chance. I opened one of the lockers and shoved him inside, something I had learned to pick up on in my High School days. I closed the lock on him before he could respond, and tipped it over, door down, for good measure. As I heard his muffled shouts from under towels and through a few inches of metal I went outside.

   I was not sure if I had done the right thing by leaving him alive, but I always believed in karma and this was the perfect time to put that idea on the chopping block.

OOC: The second part, it was around this time I began to end up being more like the first story than I'd like to admit. Gunmen patrolling the halls of a government facility while a single man searches it for another. Here I introduce the main difference between George and Rick, that while George is open to killing Rick is mostly unwilling to finish off his opponents. I did this to give him something George didn't have: Humanity. You are most likely wondering what this has to do with the first story: the answer is little to nothing. A similar premise (Man is stuck in a facility filled with armed men) but that is about it. Not every sequel has to be 100% consistent, just look at the Mother franchise or Manhunt. The latter was my main 'inspiration' (see also: plagiarized source) for the first story but this one ends up swaying to a different source...

Tribute to a Bad Man

   I had heard of the HLF before, how they would storm bureaus to show how strong they really were apposed to the idea, how they would kill without remorse, and saw themselves as the saviors of the land. I had heard some rumors that they were working on a way to reverse the conversion process, even though it was pretty much scientifically impossible. Naturally they’d need the original serum to study it, so I took the next logical step and headed to the labs.

   As I wondered the seemingly endless halls I wished I had taken that tour, at least then I’d have a vague idea of where everything was. “Where is it?” I asked myself the fifth time. It was only then I realized I should have been more stealthy about the whole thing, as a voice had acknowledged my existence.

“Who goes there?” it shouted in a southern accent. I decided to duck into the next room and pray for the best, maybe there I could find something to silence him.

   I ducked inside and found that it was a utility storage room, for storing of utilities (as the name implied). I found a few items that would have useful in all sorts of scenarios, had mine not been stealth based and my heart was set on not killing anyone: including a chainsaw, a few ice picks, a rifle (with an innumerable amount of bullets), and a rusty dagger. What I did find that would be useful was not as luxurious: a lead pipe.

   I heard the door behind me open and I turned around, smacking whomever had dared enter in the face with a lead pipe. I turned to see I had knocked out a man in a jacket identical on the man I had locked in the locker room but also had a beret. I drug his body inside and began to unclothe him. Taking his jacket and beret, hiding my own jacket in one of the pockets.

   I shoved his body into one of the clothing bins and headed off hoping my disguise would work. I headed down the basement level, hoping that it would be the rational place to hide such a thing.

   I approached the basement door and opened it, a rush of cold air came at me from it. Local children used to tell stories of how this building had been used as a prison at one point, and that the inmates that had died in the chair haunted the basement. Nobody liked to point out that the state had been one of those without the death penalty, and even if one of them would the child telling to the story would turn to the kid and say, in the darkest voice they could muster, “I know.”

   Looking in the basement it appeared that at least some of the story was true, there were cells rusted from the lack of use and light. The bulbs in the level were flickering on and off, adding an unneeded source of ambience. The only sounds in the halls were footsteps, coming from what I could only assume was the guards sent down here for whatever reason. I slowly and silently crept toward the sounds, stopping only as they became louder.

   I looked around a corner and found a small group of men dressed in garbs not unlike the men I had met before. I sighed and thought out the scenarios in my head, most of them ended with me being shot at but only two had me succeeding in dispatching the guards. I stepped out and against my better judgment began to speak.

   “ATTENTION!” I shouted in my best Southern impression, startling the men into a fighting stance. They immediately lowered their weapons once they had seen I was wearing friendly colors.

“Sir, you scared us.” One of them said, holstering his weapon.

“I assume you know who I am.” I said, hoping that I could get another name from them without losing my cover.

“Of course Colonel Bradford!” One of the others said. “What would you like us to do sir?”

   “Men have gone missing upstairs! We suspect they may be dead. We need you to provide back up.”

“Sir yes sir!” They shouted loudly, all heading out of my sight.

“Not you, soldier.” I said, stopping one of the weaker of the crew. “I have a special assignment for you.”

   He looked honored to have been chosen from the crew, his eyes shining brightly.

“What is it sir?”

“I need you to…” I quickly searched the area for something he could do, I had spotted that inside of one of the cells there was a group of prisoners, including Sunny! “I need you to go interrogate the prisoners! Go over and try to milk them for all they know!”

   He nodded and headed to the cell, trying to negotiate them the best he could. As he began to ramble on how much he hated them I pulled out my lead pipe and slowly approached him. I saw the inmates looking at me confused by what I was doing, I put a finger over my lips telling them to be silent. Then I struck a sharp blow to his neck, it connected perfectly and he fell to the ground.

   Throwing off my uniform I picked the keys from his belt and unlocked the door. I was immediately hugged by Sunny.

“Oh thank you thank you THANK YOU!” She squealed as loud as her little pony lungs allowed her, “It was spooky in there and those guys were making us do things and-”

   One of the escapees interrupted her banter with a question that they all looked like they had been wondering.

“Who are you?”

“Does it really matter to you? We still need to get you to the safe room before they come back.”

“Ooh! I know where that is mister!” Happy said, her namesake making itself present once more. “I even know all the secret tunnels they put around to keep bad guys from finding it!”

“Show me.”

   “Um… um… ok, first you need to find the third stone on bottom of the west wall, then go up 3 and tap it four times.” She lead me to the wall and tapped the stone the required amount of times. Much to me and the other’s disbelief it actually opened to a tunnel.

   “You go, I’ll stay here and tie up the bad guy.” The group understood and headed down the hall before shutting the door. I turned to face him I searched the man’s pockets and found a set of handcuffs, perhaps used to escort the prisoners. I snapped them on him and took off his shoes and socks, making a makeshift gag with them. I put him inside the cell and locked the door, seeing it as a fitting punishment.

   He woke up just as I had locked the door and gave him an evil grin before putting my costume back on. He started to shout muffled threats at me. Looking back at him I gave him a tip of the hat and sent myself to deal with the others. As I shut the door behind me, I took one out an assault rifle I had taken from one of them, broke the knob off the door, and pocketed it.

   I headed to where I heard footsteps (as well as gunshots!) and found myself by the entrance. The secretary was huddled under her desk as the others pelted it with bullets. She had already been shot several times and it would only be a matter of time until she bled to death.

“CEASEFIRE.” I shouted at the top of my lungs and the group responded. “I am Colonel Bradford and I will be escorting this…” I turned to face the terrified pony on the floor, “THING to where we’re holding the others.”

   The small group nodded and let me carry her out of the room, once out of earshot I whispered to the injured thing.

“It’s ok, we’re going somewhere safe.” I told her as I headed down to the basement once more. I opened the door with the doorknob, said hi to the imprisoned sociopath and sent her down the secret tunnel. She gave me a checklist of ponies at the bureau and told me the ones I had already saved, when asked how she knew which ones I had already saved she gave me a wink and said

“Magic, duh.”

   I was only missing three ponies and a scientist from the list, on the back of it was, thankfully, a map. I had an idea of where to head and where to start searching.

OOC: Yes, I had forcefully ripped the main idea from Dead Rising: escorting innocents too and fro in a hostile environment. I find that the idea was too good to pass up for an attempt at writing, unfortunately it ended up like the most of my writings. I feel that, while being good at portraying my side of arguments I am a complete failure at writing anything else. I, thankfully, have not reached the level of failure that certain people were born with. My writings are able to entertain some at the very least, however if you find something you wish to complain about I wish you'd tell me so I could attempt to adjust my future writings... that and the fact that nobody seems to like to comment on my story.

The Stranger

    The first stop was, logically, the Conversion lab. If they were searching for the serum this was the best place. I walked over and began hearing a someone throwing various items around and the sound of shattering glass. I quickly opened the door and found a man in uniform leaning over, throwing chemicals, and shouting at a man huddled in the corner. I noted he was wearing a lab coat, the poor guy was probably about to call someone in for conversion.

    I once again fell back on my failsafe plan. “Stop! I am Colonel Bradford and I command you to-”

“That voice…” The man said in a disturbingly nasally voice. “You aren’t Colonel Bradford!” He turned to face me and then I realized he was not leaning over at all, he had a hunch! His uniform contorted to adjust itself to his odd stature, his face was one that a mother couldn’t love; one eye bulging from his head and the other covered by an eye patch, his mouth had a horribly large overbite and his lower jaw was dangling as if it hadn’t been used in his entire life.

    I noticed he was wearing a beret nigh identical with mine and I realized something.

“You’re a Colonel?!” I shouted, horrified by the man’s presence.

“Ah! So he has an intellect to match his charisma!” He said sarcastically, his one eye began to twitch as he scanned me. “You are either the bravest man I have met or the dumbest, taking an officer’s uniform to conceal yourself. I bet you think you’re the hero huh?”

    I pulled my revolver but before I had known what had happened it flew out of my hand! I looked at the man and saw he was a better draw and shot I would ever hope to be, holding a laser pistol at his waist.

“Get with him.” He said, motioning the gun over to the scientist, I headed over and huddled with the man as the hunchback turned back to his search.

    I started to think, this guy could kill me the moment I made any move. There had to be a weakness I could use against him,

Suddenly it clicked!

“Doctor,” I said “Do you have any of that potion thingy he’s trying to get his hands on?”

“Of course,” He responded.

    “Why? Do you have a plan or are you just going to take the coward’s way out?”

“I was going to give it to him, but not in the way HE’D want.”

“What?! Are you crazy? You can’t just jam him full of the stuff! It would-”

“Would you rather him killing you the moment he figures out that the serum is on you?”

    A short pause followed before he gave me the vial.

“I do not approve of this…” I could only roll my eyes at this statement as I slowly got up. I silently approached the man and tried to wrap my arm around him, keeping my the vial behind me. Before I could he turned to face me and grabbed my arm, using his free hand he punched me in the stomach.

    “Ah-ah-ah, not so fast kid. You didn’t think it would be THAT simple did you?” He begun to ramble on about how he was better than me, and the horrible things he would do like prying my fingers out one by one with a pair of pliers or kidnapping me and getting the scientists to dissect me without anesthesia. When he’d finished he apparently had just said such things to scare me so I would be able to see my own demise with adrenaline coursing through my body.

He wrapped his large hand around my neck and began to strangle me, he dropped my arm and used it to help. He lifted me off the floor as I felt the air stop in my windpipe, the blood trying in vain to flow, my vision getting hazy as I took my hand from behind my back, opening the container and jammed the vial into his mouth. He tried to spit it out while strangling me but my hand held the glass in his gaping maw until he finally let go of me. He was more furious than ever and was breathing heavily after he spit it out. I took my eyes to the vial and found that he had drunk almost all of it.

    His iris began to enlarge as the drug began to take effect, his hat was pushed off by a mane growing in, his slack jaw dropped even further as he looked at his body changing color.

“What did you do? WHAT DID YOU DO?” He shouted as he backed into the counter staring as his fingers began to conjoin before his very eyes.

    “No, this can be happening!” He shouted, holding his head as his eyes began to grow larger. He screeched in pain as his feet began to turn into hooves and tore up his footwear with their size. As his fingers began to fall off he fumbled for his gun, and put it in his mouth, just barely keeping a grip on it and the trigger. With tears falling down his face, his gun went off, ending his suffering.

   He fell limp, his gun fell to the floor, and blood dripped from the hole in the bottom of his skull. I was mortified but the scientist was laughing as if he was the villain of an old B movie over the sound of flesh being changed and contorted, bones being broken and rebroken to create the structure of the new stallion. Turning around, I could only look at him in horror as he laughed for a good minute before he finally calmed down.

    “What is WRONG with you?!” I shouted. “Did you just not see a man shoot himself in the head before us?” The scientist began chuckling more and pointed to the body. I turned to see that the brute had been replaced by a deep orange stallion that was twitching on the floor.

    “W-what happened to him?” I asked, looking at the pony sitting in the pile of blood.

“He was converted,” He said, smiling. “He must not have killed himself fast enough and the serum worked its way through his body.”

“Is he… dead?” I asked poking him.

“Hardly, you see the serum you injected him has a habit of… bringing beings back from the edge of death. It repairs all the problems the human had, only physically of course.” He picked up the small horse and put him on his back. “Of course it has a bad habit that if any damage of the brain during the conversion will the conversion result in…complete memory loss,” He said with a smile.

    “So.. He won’t remember a thing?” I responded curious. “None of the people he’s killed, none of the hell he put the bureau through? I think he’s gotten the last laugh…”

“Oh contraire my friend,” he said adjusting his coat, “He had just destroyed the last of his human self in this pony and he is now the very thing he sought to destroy. I would say it is poetic justice.” I decided to stop arguing the points of his fate and went to pick up my gun.

    I once again used the brick to open the hidden door and lead him and the former brute he was hauling down the hall. At the end of the hall he gave me something that he believed would be helpful: a key to the security room, he said it gave me clearance to the cameras the guards used. When I tried to ask him where the guards went he shut the trap door on me.

    Sighing, I turned back to the cell and saw that the man in it was still squirming and trying to say something through his gag.

“Sorry soldier, I have a few more POW’s to capture.” I said smiling.

Autor's Nos: Ooooh I can hear TV Tropes calling me out on this right now. "Unfortunate Implications" here I come, wouldn't be the first time. I actually have QUITE a few chapters un-uploaded right now, hopefully to tide you over 'till the REAL new one comes out.

The Cowboy and the Lady

    I wandered into the security room and checked the cameras. Not much else I could do really and it’s always an advantage to know what your enemy is up to. I opened the door and found the room was lined with televisions each displaying another room and tons of HLF members patrolling hallways. I begun my search for something I would find useful and found something rather counter-intuitive…

    I checked the Utility Room camera and saw that a group of generals had found Colonel Bradford, who had awoken from his extensive nap and was dressed in a new uniform. As soon as I saw this I threw my set of his clothing to the floor and put my hat back on. All good things must come to an end but I was disappointed that it had happened so soon, I was hoping to get a few more chuckles out of how gullible these people were.

    I began to search the other cams for the missing ponies and found that a security guard, a black stallion in riot gear, was trying to protect a small filly who was huddled behind a stove. It was a safe assumption these two were in the kitchen. I marked the location on my map and continued searching for the final pony. I found her in the nurse’s office searching frantically through several bottles worth of medication, I hoped that she wasn’t just a junkie and had a legit reason for breaking and entering.

    Before I left for the crew I grabbed some pepper spray somebody had left behind and a set of handcuffs. The cuffs were rusted and brown but they still worked somehow.

    I headed for the kitchen, the sounds of gunshots helped matters surprisingly in telling me if I was getting closer or not. When I finally reached it I had found that a group of soldiers had been trying to shoot out a lock, each taking turns to blow out the closing mechanism with several types of guns. It was not going to be easy to get them away from that door.

    I pulled my revolver and took aim at one of the men’s wrist, more specifically the one who was about to take a shotgun and probably blow through that wooden door. Before I could pull the trigger one of the small ones in back suddenly noticed me! He fumbled with his gun and began to try and blow my block off, leading a chain reaction of the rest of the group trying to kill me.

    Ducking behind a corner I was able to shield myself from the bullets and began to search for a way to escape or incapacitate them. As I searched the hall I noticed something coming my way, It was Colonel Bradford! Suddenly facing those men seemed like a better option but I realized something; perhaps HE could help me.

    I hid in a doorway and waited for Bradford to cross me and, pulling the revolver, I placed it in his back and demanded he dropped his weapons.

“Who the hell are you?” He said.

“Oh, I’ve been called many things,“ I said, trying my hardest to sound mysterious. “El Diablo, The Man with No Name, Red Mane, Trigger. Let’s just say I’m a man who was here at the right place at the wrong time.”

“What do you want? If you just wanted me dead you would have killed me the moment you saw me.”

“Who said I won’t kill you as soon as you don’t comply?”

“Your gun’s shaking boy. You don’t have the guts.” The moment he said that I looked at my gun and true to his word it was shaking, hard.

    He turned around and I lowered my gun, feeling nothing but shame. He then decided now would be the best time to go on and on about how I wasn’t a real man, how I was fighting for the wrong side and how he and his two other colonels would level the building. My mind was taking a barrage of- wait, two other colonels? That’s it!

“Two? What are you talking about?” I said, in my cruelest voice.

“Jefferson and Howard, we are the strongest three in the core, perhaps even the entire region! Our wit and strengths are only matched by-”

“Are one of them perchance a one-eyed hunchback?” I said trying not to laugh. “With great strength, searching the labs?”

    “Jefferson…”

“Ah, now I know what I can call our new, rippling stallion.” I said, emphasizing the last word as to make it hurt more. He quickly turned to me and was visibly breaking as his skin was turning a pale white and his left eye began to twitch.

“What did you do to him?” He asked silently.

    “Well…” I said trying to stretch this out as long as possible. “Are you aware of what happens to someone once they turn?” His mouth hung open in disbelief as I continued. “First their eyes dilate, allowing them to be able to see every little change unless they were lucky enough to be knocked out. then their mane grows in. THEN comes the fun part of their skin changing to the color of their new form, they lose toes as the bones in the feet grow into hooves. Then, they lose their fingers, one. By. ONE. Your friend was able to find a gun nearby and end his misery there, but the transformation continued.”

    “Stop it.” He said, looking as if he would cry any moment.

“The hole in the bottom of his mouth was bleeding onto his uniform until it had turned into a deep cherry red, but then… the bleeding stopped. The hole in his head had begun to close as his jaws began to grow. The twisting and contorting of his bones as they-”

    I looked at him and saw that he was reduced to tears, his once tough outer shell broken to expose himself as a manipulative slime ball with no way of defending himself. I turned him around and kicked him to the ground. He landed head first in the hallway containing the rest of the men, the crying turning their attention to the man they had once feared as an immovable stone. I stepped out of the corner and put my boot on his head, smiling as I hid my eyes beneath the brim of my hat.

    They were stunned some dropped their weapons, others had dropped their jaws, while a good chunk of them just stood awe filled at what I had done. I took one step forward and saw the unarmed ones flee. I saw that the men who hadn’t dropped their weapons shaking in terror as I slowly moved my other foot towards them. As I laid down my heel the rest of them took off, fearing for their very lives.

    I opened the door to the kitchen and saw the two ponies staring at me with looks of bewilderment and fear.

“Back off Mac, I told yer supperiours that thur’d be no nugoshiating.” The larger, grey one said in an accent thick enough to cut through. “Is heer gal ain’t goin nowere.”

“I’m not with them, I scared them away.”

    “I dout that. If you beat ‘em off why don’cha proove it, big man?” The stallion head-butted me in the stomach and I flew into the wall. I heard a crack as my skull met the concrete, and my vision began to fade.

    “Wake up!” I heard as cold water splashed onto my face. I began to cough and try to get up but found my hands were tied together and my legs were in the same predicament. My vision cleared of the water and I saw the tall grey stallion standing over me triumphantly. “See boy? I told’ja I’s gut a plan. Now we hafta get him to squawk.”

    “What’s going on here?” I asked, panicked. I was answered with a smack to the jaw.

“I’m asking the quest-uns solja boy. What is yer name?” I realized what had happened, he had mistaken for an HLF member! I hoped that maybe if I played along long enough he’d let me go.

    “I’m Rick Alanson,” I said trying to come off as someone who was just in the wrong place at the wrong time. “I was born in-” SMACK, right to my jaw.

“Next question: Why‘re ya here?”

“I’m here because I was trying to save you! Those lunatics at the HLF want everyone dead and I…”

    I trailed off because he made an excellent point. Why was I here risking life and limb for some ungrateful horses? Why wasn’t I in the safe house with the rest of them? It was the same with my entire life: stand up for the little guy, get my ass handed to me, get no reward for helping, rinse, repeat. I sat and looked stupefied for the longest time, trying to piece together why I was doing this.

    SMACK, his hoof hit my eye.  “I sed, What is yer problem with us pony folk?” I must have gotten lost in my thoughts.

“I have nothing against them! I came here to save you and your…” I quickly looked around the room and found that we were the only ones there. “Your kid?” I must have struck a nerve as he began to twitch and his eyes were turning red.

    SMACK, right to my eye once more. Everything once again began to fade. SMACK, to my jaw. I saw the tears running down the cheeks as the stallion continued to try his damnedest to kill me. SMACK, I felt blood flow from my ear. I saw him raise his hoof to strike me once more before I blacked out.

    I awoke in darkness, nothing but blackness surrounding me. I tried to pick myself up and found that I had been untied. I felt my face and found that the sores and bruises I had sustained during the adventure had faded.

    In the distance I saw something, an odd white form appearing in my sight growing closer and closer. I was attracted to it, like a moth to flame. It was so beautiful, tears rolled down my cheeks as it grew larger and larger in my line of sight. As I got closer I did something I had never expected to do.

    I ran into it. I had been rushing toward it so fast that I may as well have run into a trampoline, because it bounced me back. I looked at the object and saw that it was a pony. It wasn’t just any pony however, it was Celestia! I remained down, fearful of what this was meaning.

    We stared at each other before she finally broke the ice.

“Hello“ Her voice was one of grace and kindness. “I am Princess Celestia.” Looking into the face of a god is an experience I never thought would have happened to me. Sitting silently I could only stare at her fine white coat, her flowing rainbow mane, her tall posture looming over me. Only one question was running through my mind as I faced the majestic mare.

    “A-a-am I dead?” I stammered, trying to form the inevitable question. She let out a soft chuckle and put her hoof on my chest.

“You aren’t dead. Even if you were you’d be sent back.”

“Sent back? Back to Earth?”

“You still have work to do.” I looked at her, dumbfounded by her bluntness with me. She turned around to head off and began to walk away from me. Quickly I shouted,

“Wait!” She stopped and looked back at me. “Where am I, your highness?” I said shyly.

    She just smirked and continued on her way.

Authors remarks: Ah yes, the first non-OC joins the already expansive list of characters. This is just stalling mind, but my next chapter is my personal favorite.

Copperhead

    I woke up with a headache so painful it would have killed a lesser animal. I looked around and saw that the stallion had untied me, apparently believing he had killed me and needed the rope for something else. Getting up I found that the room I was in was ransacked, perhaps by a fight with the HLF. I began to search myself and found that none of my personal goods were gone, perhaps he had some good in him not to steal from a dead man. I counted my blessings before I heard something down the hall.

    It was two screams, one of a small child and the stallion. I headed to the source and found that it was coming from the Gift Shop. Opening the door I found a slender man in uniform bearing down on a bleeding stallion and a crying filly. He quickly turned to face me and I quickly begun to wish he hadn’t. His face was long and pale, as if it had never seen the light of day. His eyes were hidden behind large rectangular sunglasses, black as night and seemed to have sucked the very soul from my body. His mouth was large and smiling, revealing all of his hideous, crooked, yellow teeth. He was wearing a beret identical to the colonels‘. His head tilted to one side as if he had his ear pinned to his shoulder. And he smelled, not like someone who got back from a run but like he hadn’t bathed in years.

    “Hello dear friend.” He said with a twitch. “I know you. You’re Rick, the one who BROKE Bradford.” His actions when coupled with his appearance painted the portrait of a serial killer.

“Colonel Howard?” I asked, trying my damnedest to sound less like I was terrified and more like someone meeting another for the first time.

“In the FLESH.” He said, his fist clenching as I could feel him glaring at me from behind those shades. I quickly pulled my revolver and held it to his chest. “Oh, what’s this?” He said swiping it from my hands. “You shouldn’t be playing with such toys,” he said tossing the loaded gun to the corner of the room as carelessly as one would a rag doll.

    “Why don’t we talk this over? I’m sure we can STRIKE a deal.” I quickly turned to try and run out the door but found that he was now over there! I screamed and backed up into the two ponies that were huddling in the corner. “Isn’t technology amazing? I got these implants, makes me twice as fast. Of course they had a few…side effects so I had to get them on the BLACK market, but it was worth it.” He reached for his pant leg and pulled it up revealing that a section of his lower leg was made of pure metal!

    “Do you know how this thing works?” He said walking toward me, taking his long finger and rubbing it on my chin. “It takes electrical impulses and ZAPS my nerves into moving faster.” I was fairly unsure that was really how the human body worked but I guess they’d tell people anything to make them feel safe. I looked around nearby for something to use. All that I had found were some old snow globes and a plush toy of Sunny. I tried to play out all the scenarios in my mind and then I remembered something.

    I turned to see the stallion and that mysterious filly. It was light blue with a white mane and was a Pegasus, her wings hardly looked developed at all. Tears ran down her cheeks as she laid shaking. She was sitting on the stallions chest, he had been knocked out and blood was dripping from his left eye. She was whispering something over and over again.

“Wake up mister, please wake up.” repeating the statement the filly would sometimes nudge the stallion’s head.

    I knew what I had to do. Standing up I began toward at the man. “What’s this, You wanna GO?” He took off his sunglasses and revealed that his eyes were pure white. “I don’t think you’d want to FIGHT a man with glasses on.” They were whiter than his skin and had nothing in them, no irises or pupils. I was horrified and was about to back down into the corner once more when I heard the child scream in terror. I clenched my fist and walked toward the thing, God only knows how many times that small child was exposed to this.

    I threw a punch and he swiftly avoided it, jabbing me in my kidney. Pain ran through my entire body and I froze up. I shook it off and tried to kick him, he grabbed my leg and twisted it. Pain ran up it and knocked me over. I fell into the corner and saw that he was rearing up his leg to kick me in the skull, panicking I grabbed the first thing I could find and threw it.

    I braced myself for the final blow only to find that nothing was coming, instead I heard him screaming in pain. I opened my eyes and saw him flailing his leg around, it sparking and his foot swinging wildly. I spotted the broken snow globe and put it that his leg malfunctioned, he was in my playing field now.

    I told the little filly to turn around and close her eyes until I told her to stop. I picked up my gun from across the room and finally put it to some use. I took it and smacked him upside the head, his screaming intensified as he started to bruise. I continued to beat the man until his screaming stopped, blow after blow his screaming continued shouting that he did not deserve this, praying someone to end his misery, and screaming that he would get vengeance. After one more blow he went silent.

    His leg continued to flail so I knew some sort of life was still in that miserable monster. The filly had begun crying as she opened her eyes to see me standing over it’s body. I was never good with children and animals hated my guts, dealing with a little Pegasus was like doing both at once. I tried to pick her up but she bit me as I tried to get closer. I decided to look at the stallion and checked his pulse. There was none, I began to panic and tried to resuscitate him.

    I stood up and began to look around the room, I saw that the lunatic’s leg was still acting up. It clicked in my head that maybe some volts would get his heart beating again, so I grabbed the loon’s leg and began to drag him across the room. Pushing the Pegasus off of his chest I pressed on top of his heart and prayed for the best.  It wasn’t working, it needed another short to work! I grabbed another snow globe and broke it on the leg.

    I felt a sharp pain and fell onto the floor as I saw the stallion begin to stir.

    It was the same blackness I had seen before, I once again got up and tried to figure out where I was. I saw an orange tint this time, something coming out of it and a male voice beckoning me closer. I saw an odd reptile creature, well… reptile mammal bird amphibian thing. He sat on a velvet throne slightly larger than him.

    “Bravo Ricky, that was amazing! Taking a snow globe to his electronics and beating him while he’s down, If you put some more thought into it you could have ended it more…” He paused as if the next word felt too good to let it out of his mouth. “Chaotically.”

    “Who are you?” I said, feeling oddly more frightened by this being than I did Celestia.

“Who am I? Who am I?” He said, acting shocked and offended. “I’m Discord! The Spirit of Disharmony and Chaos, and I am here to congratulate you on your recent work. Shocking a man then beating him to death with a gun! Truly you have some promise within you, not to mention betraying your own species for a group of invaders because your life stunk.”

“To death? He was fine when I-”

“Fine?! You are a laugh, why do you think he was screaming? I saw every bit of his head split within itself as you brought that weapon down on him.” He got off his throne and began to descend on imaginary steps.

    “And the others oh boy, you really messed with them!” He said reaching the final step in front of me. “Taking away the one thing that kept Jefferson alive and well, and taking it from him as violently as possible! It looks like his beatings made you a bit weaker though, so perhaps he got the last laugh. I mean really,” He tapped me on the skull and chuckled. “This is your second time here. I’m unsure if you know this but once more and you’re over with. I suggest you take off this silly hat,” he said pulling it off of my head and twirling it like a loop around his talon. “And find a helmet.”

    He pushed it over my eyes and spun me around. “Finally there’s how you handled Mr. Bradford. How hysterical it was to see him curl up in a ball as you laughed at how you killed his best friend? How great was it to push him down and try to crush his skull under your boot as his battalion could only watch in horror? I see great potential in you, continue down this path and maybe you can join my daughter in causing chaos!” He opened a curtain that had appeared with a snap of his fingers. Behind the shades was a purple mare with a smile not dissimilar to Howard’s, pink eyes in an odd swirling pattern, and a spinning beanie.

    The odd mare approached me and without changing her expression said one thing. “Help me” was all that she said before Discord pushed her away and gave me a toothy smile.

“Our time is running out unfortunately. I wish I could give you advice on how to destroy that rats nest of a safe house, or what Colonel Bradford has in store for you. Ta-ta!” With that he vanished in a puff of smoke and left me in empty blackness.

    I woke up horrified and saw that the stallion was standing over me, shaking my body.

“Geddup boy! Geddup!” He shouted. I coughed and began to stand up, shaking my head as I tried to clear my mind of what had happened. “Oh tank Celestcha yer alive! You saved me boy, I was just ‘bout to hed down dat white hallway when I woke up wit dat creep on me. I dunno wat’cha did boy but I’m glad ya did it.” His smile turned to a frown as a realization came to him. “I’m sorry ‘bout what I did earlier but… you mentioned my son and I… It was long ago, and it‘s a long story…”

Author's Notes:

To be painfully honest, I liked writing Discord. I liked pointing out how the "heroes" of these stories are more villainous than they set out to be while failing to recognize what they're doing. I need to write villains more often...