Taboo and Bitter sweet Pieby SecretAgentPlotTwistChaptersNew FeelingsTo Deny One's SelfPinkies PerspectivePinkies ConfessionNew Feelings“I did it again, didn't I,” the Lavendar coloured pony cried as she continually hit her head on her pillow. “Why does this keep happening to me?” Earlier that night Twilight destination came into view. It was a quiet and clear night so the house stuck out as much as the bright moon did. Twilight was trotting down the street with a spring in her step but she was also trying to keep her breathing steady for what was to come. Twilight arrived at Sugar Cube Corner She took a deep breath before she reached for the door handle. As she entered she was immediately greeted by an flood of sparkling lights and a stream of upbeat music. She continued to walk forward cautiously in hopes of seeing one specific pony she knew, but before she could trot even a couple of inches a pink ray of light suddenly ignited in front of her. “Oh my gosh Twily I’m so happy you could make it, well I mean I knew you could make it because you said you could, what I’m really happy about is that you did make it, and you’re here in front of me, well you already know that because you’re here, and that’s why I’m happy!” The newly present pink pony Pinkie closed in on Twilight's face with her massive smile as the space between her and Twilight decreased rapidly, Twilight began to blush and her heartbeat almost doubled. “Ah… yes, of course, I mean hi, no, I mean yes of course hi, why wouldn’t there be a “hi”… erm, I need to do a thing over in a place.” Twilight quickly trotted off to a corner away from everyone else, where she spent the rest of the party there in silence… And now we come back to the beginning, with Twilight groaning into her pillow. "I don’t get this," Twilight moaned in her head, "what has happened to me? Why do I keep doing this, and why is it only around Pinkie?" Twilight turned around on her bed so that she was facing the ceiling. She took a deep sigh and continued to contemplate the situation as she had been doing at night for a couple of weeks now. It was beginning to become a regular occurrence. “I mean, I don’t get this way around AppleJack, or Rarity, or Fluttershy or anypony else for that matter.” Twilight closed her eyes in thought. “Why is it just Pinkie; what is it about her? I mean, she’s fun, always happy, enthusiastic, caring, sweet, has a stunning coat, soft mane, beautiful smile and eyes that I could just stare into forever… wait WHAT!” Twilight’s eyes flung open suddenly as she sat up quickly. “What? Are these feelings friends should have for each other? I know Rarity and Fluttershy have said I look good on many occasions, but this, they never told me anything like this!” Twilight quickly realised that this situation she found herself in was not getting better; in fact, it was getting worse every night, and waiting it out was no longer an option. She viciously slammed her head into her pillow and let out a loud groan filled with anger. “Hay Twilight, you alright?” Twilight turned to see a purple dragon with a worried look on his face by the side of her bed. Twilight let out a nervous laugh before getting up to face him. “I’m sorry Spike, did I wake you?” she said with an unenergetic voice. “Don’t worry it's fine. You're the one I’m worried about.” Spike said with genuine concern in his voice. “What’s going on? You look really troubled by it.” “As soon as I figure it out myself I’ll be sure to tell you.” replied Twilight half-heartedly. “So… you don’t know what you’re upset over?” Spike responded with a look of confusion “Surely if you didn’t know what was upsetting, you wouldn’t be upset by it.” “No, it’s more like a maths equation that I can’t figure out.” Twilight said as she let out a sigh, “and no matter how hard I try I just can’t figure what’s going on. Though I’m sure I’ve read about this somewhere before, I just can’t put my hoof on it. This is just so annoying!” Twilight turned and dropped her head in a mixture of anger and sadness. Spike ran around to face Twilight with a comforting smile. “Hey I know all too well what it feels like to have a maths equation I can’t solve, but when that happens, I just ask someone for help. You could ask someone if they know what to do!” Spikes words gave Twilight a spark of realisation that reignited her energy, her head flung in the air to show a smile of enthusiasm. “You’re right Spike, there is no use giving up on something like this, I can just ask one of my friends if they know what’s going on!” “That’s the spirit, well I mean you could just ask m-“ “Now what friend should I ask? Well Fluttershy is a good listener, but when it comes to giving advice, that’s another issue altogether.” “Yeah, but you could save a lot of time because I could have the answ-“ “Rainbow Dash maybe? But she’s the other end of the spectrum, she could give me some good advice, but I bet I’d never slow her down long enough to talk to her.” “I think you’re ignoring the fact that I’m right he-“ “I got it! Rarity! She’d know what to do for sure! I’ll go see her first thing in the morning.” Twilight smiled, satisfied with her plan. “Well, good night Spike. I’ll need to get to sleep quick if I’m going to be ready for tomorrow.” Twilight quickly jumped back into her bed and turned off the light, leaving Spike to stand awkwardly next to her with a bewildered look on his face. “… Goodnight Twilight.” Twilight was up bright and early to visit Rarity, but as she was trotting towards Rarity's shop she began to doubt what she was doing. “What if this isn’t a normal thing that happens to ponies? What if this isn’t something that should be happening around friends? What if Rarity think it’s weird and doesn’t want to talk to me?” Twilight came to a complete stop in the middle of the street, scared stiff with worry. “Don’t be stupid Twilight, Rarity is your friend and she would never judge you or think less of you because of something like this… let’s not say this is just happening around Pinkie just to be safe.” Satisfied with the so-called conclusion she reached, she continued to trot down the road at a brisk pace. As she did she began to take in the atmosphere. It was a nice day and the light of the sun warmed the town nicely, the birds were tweeting and Ponyville had this nice mix between liveliness and peacefulness that made it so nice to be out on days like this, even if it was too early for it to really get started. It allowed her to calm down a bit from her jumbled state of mind and think a little. “I wonder what Pinkie is doing on this nice day?” Twilight thought to herself. “No, stop thinking about Pinkie, you have so many friends, why do you always think of her first?” Despite the constant telling herself not to, Twilight couldn’t deny the fact that Pinkie was the pony she was always thinking about. She felt this strange emptiness whenever Pinkie wasn’t there, and despite the fact she hasn’t even been able to talk to her normally recently she still found great happiness by just being in the same room as her. “The sooner I find out why I’m acting like this the better. I just hope Rarity has the answer." Twilight abruptly reached the shop and she stopped in front of the door. Twilight paused slightly before knocking on the door. The door was opened within a couple of seconds by a glamorous white pony with a perfectly done mane. “Why Twilight, what a wonderful surprise,” Rarity announced with a smile. “Is there anything I can do for you?” “Hello Rarity,” replied Twilight, “Actually I was wondering if we could talk?” Rarity raised an eyebrow in interest, but she could sense the seriousness in her tone. She signalled Twilight to come in and take a seat and Twilight did so. Rarity went into the kitchen to prepare tea as she does for conversations like this. Shortly after she returned and gave Twilight some tea before sitting down herself. “Now Twilight, Sweetie Belle is over at Applebloom’s for a sleepover they had last night, and I don’t have any work for today so I can hear everything you have to say. I’m all ears,” Rarity said with a smile that helped calm Twilight down a bit. “W-well it’s been going on for a couple of weeks now.” Twilight tried to speak confidently but ended up turning away from Rarity’s eye contact. “You see, I’ve been suffering from noticeable physical symptoms while being near… this certain pony. I start to blush and my heart rate increases… there are also mental symptoms: I seem unable to stop thinking about this pony, and I seem to be overly complimentary of their appearance… You see, I have never experienced this before and I don’t know what it is or means, and I was hoping you could help me figure out what it is, if I mean you would want to help me that is?” Twilight slowly lifted her head to look back at Rarity, but to her surprise she had a smile on her face; in fact, she was even starting to giggle quite loudly. Out of all the reactions Twilight had thought she would get, this was the least plausible reaction she could think of, so much so it rendered her momentarily speechless. “Oh Twilight,” spoke Rarity through the giggling. “You really are so innocent and clueless about these kind of things. It’s quite adorable you know.” “What!?” Twilight tried to speak through the shock of everything. “You know what this is?” “Of course Twilight,” Rarity chuckled. “You are in love!” To Deny One's SelfTwilight stared at Rarity with her mouth wide open, unable to fully comprehend what she had just said. Twilight blinked a couple of times to try to clear her head, but was unsuccessful. Seeing this reaction Rarity started to giggle even more before it turned into a full on laugh. This didn't help Twilight at all. "What? WHAT!?" Twilight practically screamed in her head, "There is no way that can be true, in love with Pinkie? How can Rarity be taking this so lightly?" Rarity managed to calm down enough so she could talk. "I'm sorry darling, but seeing you so shocked by such a thing really is quite humorous. I mean at this age it's hard to believe you've never gone through this." Rarity had one last chuckle before adding, "So, who is the lucky stallion?" The last comment caught Twilight off guard. "Wait, yes, of course," Twilight thought to herself "I can't be in love with Pinkie, she's a mare, I'm a mare, that wouldn't make any sense. Logically I can't be in love with her." "Y-yeah, erm Rarity," Twilight said as she desperately tried to put her thoughts into words, "I don't think that this is love." "Of course it is dear, I know love from a mile off." "Because this can't be love, it wouldn't make sense." Rarity stopped and looked at Twilight with an inquisitive look. "Why not?" "Because, erm... you know... it's..." There was an awkward silence for a couple of seconds. "Oh look at the time," Twilight finally said, "I need to get going now. Owlicious hasn't been fed today, so you know. Erm, thanks for the tea, goodbye." Twilight galloped out of the room before Rarity even had a chance to react. "Goodbye Twilight..." Rarity said as she sat there a moment before sighing and leaning back. "Hmm, I wonder what has gotten into Twilight recently?" Twilight trotted away from Rarity's shop at an overly brisk pace. "Why did I have to leave like that? It was almost as bad as me being around Pinkie." Twilight thought as the trotted down the street "But what did she mean by that, I mean me and Pinkie are friends, this has nothing to do with lo-" Twilight stopped mid thought as she suddenly remembered where she heard about the behaviour "The behaviour pattens I've been showing are almost identical to the book I read for an old report, it was on behaviourial symptoms caused by being in... love" Twilight stopped in the middle of the street and looked down and was greeted by a puddle showing a confused and worried reflection. "This shouldn't be how it works. Doesn't love involve the things in those romance novels I've occasionally read, where the love interest always shows up when the protagonist is in their time of need-" "Hay Twily!" Twilight jumped back slightly in reaction to the newly emerged pink pony that was now in front of her. Pinkie was giving her a massive smile to show she was happy to see her; this sudden display of affection made Twilights heart race, her cheeks became red and she was unable to think straight. "I was just thinking about you, and then I saw you. It was like you had materialised from my thoughts, but then that would mean you're not the real Twilight, and that you are an imposter, WHAT HAVE YOU DONE WITH THE REAL TWILIGHT? No wait, that didn't really happen, so you are the real Twilight, which is good because I've seen a lot of you recently, but I haven't talked with you much recently. So how is my favourite science pony?" "Eh, I mean hi... erm did you say favourite? Oh of course you would I'm the only science pony you know, I didn't mean to pick up on that... erm... yeah... sorry i need to go do the things that I do... you know things and stuff, so erm goodbye." Twilight then galloped off towards the library at quite a fast pace, leaving Pinkie standing alone in the middle of the street. "Darn it Twilight you did it again," Twilight grumbled in her head "If you keep this up she'll suspect something, not that there is anything to be suspicious of, yes that's right I'm not in love with Pinkie, I can't be. There must be some difference between this situation and the common symptoms of being in love. All I need to do is cross reference and find the inconsistencies and then I'll be able to figure out what this really is." Satisfied with her new objective, Twilight headed towards the library at a hurried pace. In her mind she had to get to the bottom of this quickly because the longer she thought about it, the more it began to make sense in her mind, and Twilight could not just accept that. "Argh!" Twilight groaned as she threw a pile of notes onto the floor. Three and a half hours had passed and no matter how many cross reference charts, back-to-back stem plots or even parallel bar charts she made, she could find no significant difference between the two situations. "Now even science is against me." Twilight muttered as she dropped her head onto her hoofs. "Still feeling down?" asked Spike as he walked past Twilight's desk. He was munching on gems but he still sounded sincerer "Want one?" Spike held out a blue gem towards Twilight with a kind but unconfident look on his face. Twilight faced Spike and was greeted by said gem and as she looked at it, the light blueness of the gem reminded her of Pinkie's eyes and that then reminded her of Pinkie's smiling face that was always connected to them .Twilight's distressed frown turned into a smile as she gazed into the gem, in an almost dazed like state. "... Erm Twilight," said Spike as he waved his other hand in front of her, "you're starting to scare me." Twilights gaze suddenly snapped as she realised what she was doing. Twilight regained her composure and stood up. "I'm sorry Spike," Twilight says before dropping her head and turning around "it's been a very long day." "What have you even been working on?" Spike asked as he grabbed one of Twilight's note sheets. "NO!" Twilight screamed as she grabbed one of the notes of him and held it close. "You can't read that." "Why not?" Spike asked with an inquisitive look. "Erm, they're secret documents from Celestia, yeah, that's right." "But you keep your secret documents on that table." Spike said as he pointed towards a round table in the main viewing area of the library that was riddled with massive folders labeled "secret documents," some of which are being used as drink coasters. "You asked me to go over them as you left this morning," he added. Twilight blinked a couple of times to regain her train of thought. She then quickly grabbed all of the notes that were on her desk with her magic and threw them into the fireplace. "What a shame, all the documents have caught fire, oh well. Is that the time? Should probably get a good night sleep for tomorrow. Goodnight Spike." Twilight then rushed into her room and slammed the door behind her. Spike raised an eyebrow and looked out the window, as he had thought the sun was still high in the sky. He raised his eyebrow at the fireplace, but then continued to eat his gems. Twilight found herself staring out of her bedroom window, gazing into the light blue sky. Truth be told things did make sense - she knew a perfectly logical explanation too why this was happening... she just didn't want to admit it. She wanted there to be some other explanation, like maybe it was just a new stage of friendship she didn't know about or maybe she just looked up to Pinkie as a pony. She didn't want it to be love with a mare. "Why now, why Pinkie... why me?" Twilight thought to herself as she closed her eyes and rested her head on the windowsill. "I've heard about ponies like this, I mean I've never had anything against them, I'm just not like that... am I?" Twilight opened her eyes and peered onto the streets outside the library. She saw a random stallion with a light grey coat who she looked at intently. She noted that he was well built and had nice hair, but when it came to judging whether or not he was attractive or not, she found that quite hard. She could obviously appreciate that ponies would find him attractive and she could see that he looked good. But there was absolutely no initial attraction towards him. "Was there ever a stallion I liked?" Twilight thought as she got up to look at the ceiling in contemplation. She searched her memories for any recollection of a stallion or colt she liked, but she had no success. On the other hoof, she couldn't really think of any mare she's had a crush on. "This is even more confusing. If I was like that, I would at least have been in love with one mare, I mean except Pink-" Twilight stopped mid thought. Despite everything, Twilight still withheld her feelings towards Pinkie from herself. "No matter how many times I say I can't be in love with Pinkie Pie, it doesn't change anything. She's still all I think about. No matter what I'm doing, she's always in the corner of my mind - she's still the one pony whose presence makes me feel happy." Twilights body shifted back towards the window, her gaze returning towards the light blue sky of the beautiful day. "I want to be close to her, I want to hold her, I want to... kiss her." Twilight thought as a tear rolled down her face. "Why do these feelings have to be so wrong?" Pinkies Perspective"Eh, I mean hi... erm did you say favourite? Oh of course you would I'm the only science pony you know, I didn't mean to pick up on that... erm... yeah... sorry I need to go do the things that I do... you know things and stuff, so erm goodbye." Pinkie Pie watched in silence as her Lavender friend galloped away from her. For a couple of seconds she just stared at where Twilight once stood and then her mane deflated a little. "Why has Twilight been acting this way around me lately?" Pinkie thought as she shoke her head to pump up her mane and continued onwards. "Could she have noticed? No, you've been trying so hard not to let it show, you haven't done anything differently, you've been talking to her like you normally would and you have been calling her 'Twily' long before this." Pinkie Pie couldn't help but doubt herself. She had noticed that Twilight was always getting away from her and avoiding direct conversations. In her mind Twilight finding out about it was the most likely explanation for her behavior. "They always do try to avoid me when they find out," Pinkie thought with a sigh, her stride keeping strong in spite of it all, "Why did you let this happen again, you know it never ends well when it happens, you promised yourself you would never fall in love with a mare again." Despite her protests, Pinkie knew that wasn't going to happen. She's known she was 'like that' and that there was nothing she could do about it, and believe her, she's tried. Just thinking about the subject brought up bad memories in her head and there was one specific memory that stuck out from the rest at that moment. This was quite an old memory, from when Pinkie was still a filly. It took place after she saw the Rainboom, but before she moved to Ponyville. She had made a lot of friends and was having fun playing and throwing parties for everyone. But there was one friend she had more fun with than any other, a friend who Pinkie just clicked with and a friend who Pinkie developed her first crush towards as a little filly. It was of course another filly. She had a light pink coat and eyes that had vibrant shade of pink. Her mane was separated into two different shades of blue that combined beautifully together. She was yet to get her cutiemark, but that made little difference to the two of them and they were best friends. Despite Pinkie's new feelings towards her, she was too young to understand what they meant. So things carried on as normal and Pinkie was too happy with all her new friends to question any of it. It was one week before Pinkie was going to leave for Ponyville and the two were talking on one of the schools benches. They were sad that they would be leaving each other soon, but they did not want to talk about that. As they were talking the pony said to Pinkie, "I'm really glad we became friends" and that was when Pinkie did something she would unknowingly regret to this day. She leaned over and kissed her. The reaction she got was not one she was expecting. Her friend in shock got up and galloped away to leave Pinkie alone with a sad and confused look on her face. She later found out that her friend had told a teacher... "It wasn't my fault, no one ever told me it wasn't normal to kiss mares." Pinkie Pie thought as she cringed at the memory. "But my parents definitely told me that when they found out. They yelled it in fact, repeatedly." She never did see her friend again. They were going to have a big party before the day she left for Ponyville, but that never happened. Pinkie instead moved on from the incident. She was too young to think anything of it and she put it out of her head. She had forgotten about it for a long time and it wasn't untill her teenage years that her circumstances made her remember that day. She remembered when all the mares started talking about stallions. She could never take part in those conversations; she never really understood it. Everything always felt upside down to her. It wasn't long before Pinkie started to realise her sexuality. It wasn't something she dealt with very well. She still remembered those dark nights when she would stay up looking into the mirror and repeating over and over to herself that she wasn't like that. It came to no success though, she continued to have these feeling and she even started to have anouther crush on one of her friends. She didn't tell her friends any of this; she was too scared of them hating her and she couldn't even accept it for herself. She still does remember that mare she had a crush on though, she was a jasmine yellow coated pegasus with a tiffany blue mane. She remembered that she was around her house near the end of the school year. It was just them alone together and Pinkie wasn't dealing with it very well. Pinkie had been hiding her feelings for a long time and was finding it harder to keep it hidden. Her friend who was worried about her asked if anything was wrong, so she answered honestly - she told her that she loved her... Things fell silent. Her friend was in shock and couldn't really respond except with an unconfident "O-okay." Pinkie quickly tried to explain and say that she knew nothing would come from it and it changed nothing between them, but her friend was still unsure of the situation and said it was fine, but Pinkie could tell she was weirded out by it. The rest of the evening passed by very awkwardly. Her friend didn't tell anypony about it, but she still avoided talking to Pinkie and they never hung out one-on-one together anymore. The following year they were put into different classes and they eventually just faded out of each other's lives over time. There have been a couple of other experiences like this and they all ended badly. Through the sadness Pinkie started to get better at hiding her true feelings from ponies. But her feelings continued to pile up and it came to the point where she couldn't deny that she was like the way she was. She never really accepted it as part of her, she saw it more as a flaw that she had to work around. "Come on Pinkie, you shouldn't be thinking these things now, you know it always brings you down," Pinkie thought as she forced one of her signature smiles and continued to head in the direction she was going. "You have a party today and you need to put on a good show for them." Pinkie trotted down the road to get some last minute supplies for the party she was preparing for that day. The sun shone on Pinkie giving her that glow she always has, but something was off about it this time. She still had her puffy mane and glowing smile, but her trot: there was no skip in it, there was more of a tiredness in it - a tiredness that had dwelled in Pinkie a long time, a tiredness that Pinkie was finding too hard to conceal anymore. It was nearing the end of the party and Pinkie had done everything she could to make it a success. She had found herself in a small room connected to the main party area. She was sitting on a chair staring at the door connecting the two rooms with a blank look on her face, just listening to the music and laughter coming from the opposite room. "Why are you acting like this all of a sudden, you can't start letting this affect your life again, if this keeps up something bad will happen again." Pinkie thought to herself as she pushed her hoofs into her face with a frustrated moan. "Hello Pinkie." Pinkie was startled by the sudden presence of a colt who had just opened the door and snuck into the room. He was a white coated pony with a black mane and yellow eyes who looked at Pinkie with a comforting smile. "Hi," replied Pinkie with her best attempt at a smile. "You're the birthday colt's older brother aren't you. How are you enjoying the party?" "It's a lot of fun, even if I am a bit old to wear a party hat and play with balloons." "You can never be too old for that!" replied Pinkie with a tired enthusiasm. The stallion chuckled before adding, "Are you alright? You don't seem to be your usual quirky self." "I'm fine," replied Pinkie with a sigh. "I'm just tired." "If you're feeling tired you should get some rest instead of throwing a party," reasoned the colt with concern in his voice. "You shouldn't just pretend for the sake of others." "Sometimes it's just easier that way," responded Pinkie with a cold tone. Pinkie lowered her head and let her mane deflate a little as a silence engulfed the situation. The colt was taken aback by the words Pinkie said and also the way she said it. "You know it's weird seeing you like this," said the colt finally with a cheerful grin that he tried to warm up the mood with. "You are normally so happy and hyper. I guess I've always viewed you as some kind of goddess that is resistant against sadness, but you are just as normal as the rest of us." Pinkie raised her head to face the colt again. "I know it's really silly of me to say," continued the colt, "but you've touched the hearts of so many ponies it's hard to not see you that way, and you've changed my life for the better. I'm not sure if you remember, I was a normal kid and had friends, but I was never myself, I was an act I would put on to get people to like me. I was depressed and didn't know why, until you showed me a path - you showed me that I should always be myself and I am eternally grateful for that." Pinkie looks at the colt with a sad smile and a couple of tears in her eyes. "But sometimes it's so hard." The colt looks at Pinkie with a warm smile. He is unable to know what Pinkie was going through but he knew he had to say something to comfort her. "I remember you telling me one specific thing which later turned out to be true, and I have never looked back since. You told me that no matter how good life gets, you will never be as happy as you would be by being true to yourself." Pinkie wiped away a tear from her face as her mane regained it's composure. "Thanks." she said with a sincere smile. "Sorry I've been a bit off today, but I'll be back to my happy pappy self in no time." "That's good to hear. I'm heading back to the party; I don't want to miss the last piece of cake." With one last friendly smile the dark haired pony turned around and left through the door. There was a pause before Pinkie leaned her head back and looked towards the ceiling. "He was nice, I wonder if he would have been as nice if he knew just why I was upset," Pinkie thought to herself "but he was right, I've spent my entire life trying to hide this from everypony, and what good has it done. Lying to everyone, lying to myself, it's brought me nothing but missery... but telling ponies has brought even worse misery." Pinkie turned back to the door to think "Maybe I should tell somepony who I know is okay with this kind of thing, or at least won't tell anypony else if she's not. But who do i know like that?" Pinkie stared at the door intently to focus her mind and as she did a name suddenly came into her head. "Hmm, she might be okay with it. I can't imagine her being against it and I know for sure she wouldn't tell anyone. But we've been friends for so long, I don't want to ruin that... No, I can't back out of this again, you have to do this... I just hope she understands." Pinkies ConfessionIt was a busy morning in Ponyville. Everypony was rushing around frantically and the markets made it very noisy. Pinkie had just about managed to get through the commotion unharmed but the hot sun still stared down on her, making her flustered. Pinkie followed the dirt roads through the woods and plains. The roads were a lot quieter and calmer than usual; it allowed her a spring in her step despite the heat. As she reached the top of the last hill she saw the sun shining upon a small cottage up ahead. Pinkie took a deep breath and headed straight towards it. As she approached the cottage, she began to hear the noises from inside, the sound of animals rushing around becoming louder and louder the closer she got to it. Pinkie began to lose energy more and more through every step. As she reached the cottage all energy and motivation was lost in her movement. Pinkie looked at the cottage's door with a worried look. She took a deep breath and knocked on the door. Pinkie swallowed before the door opened making all the noise from inside sound louder. This revealed a pink-haired pony with the sunlight shining off her yellow coat. “Oh hello Pinkie,” Fluttershy said with a calm and quiet tone, “what brings you here?” “Hi Fluttershy, how are you, that’s good, I’m fine as well, lovely weather we’re having, are yes I imagine it is a bit too hot outside. Oh me? I was just passing by through the woods casually as you do and I thought why not pass by my good friend Fluttershy’s house,” Pinkie Pie blabbered with a forced smile. “…Um, okay,” Fluttershy replied as she tried to piece together what Pinkie had just said, “would you like to come in?” Fluttershy extended her hoof to signal Pinkie to come in and she stepped out of the way to let her. Pinkie bounced in past her and looked around. The cottage was unusually dirty with broken vases and ornaments on the floor and animals running in between Pinkie's hooves. “Sorry about the mess,” Fluttershy said as she picked up a broom to clean up a bit. “I’ve had some new animals come in and they are being a bit difficult.” “It’s fine, why wouldn’t it be fine? I’m in a perfectly good place of mind and I’m definately not screaming inside with any sort of worry about anything, that would be silly.” Fluttershy turned to Pinkie with a confused look. “Um, okay…” There was a long moment of silence with Pinkie looking at Fluttershy with a big unnatural smile and Fluttershy looking back at her with a worried look. “...So... is there anything I can do for you?” Fluttershy asked. “Me? Well there may be something but that’s not really important. The real question is, what can I do for you?” Pinkie Pie said holding up her hoof to point at Fluttershy. “Um, Pardon me?” “I could clean the dirt from under the sofa!” Pinkie said while holding up the sofa over her head. “You really don’t have-“ “Or I could oil this creaky door!” Pinkie said as she swung the back door open and closed. “Erm, Pinkie are you feeling ok-“ “I could even change all the light shades in the house so they match the ceilings - Rarity taught me how,” Pinkie added as she hung off the ceiling. “You’re starting to really worry m-“ “I could even throw you a party!” Pinkie cheered as she threw around confetti and put party hats on all the animals. “Pinkie.” “Or I could even-“ Fluttershy threw out her hooves in front of her and caught Pinkie in mid-sprint. She turned her around so that they were facing each other. “Pinkie please, I know when you’re worried about something. Can you please calm down and tell me what’s going on?” “Hehe… yeah, I’m sorry. Could we please sit down for this?” Fluttershy nodded and let go of Pinkie. They both went towards Fluttershy’s sofa and sat facing each other. Fluttershy looked straight at Pinkie, but Pinkie kept moving her head all around to avoid looking directly at Fluttershy and her hooves were fiddling with random objects. “So what is going on?” Fluttershy asked politely. “Well erm… I really need to tell you this thing. It’s kind of hard to say out loud though. You know how ponies fall in love with ponies, and well, they only fall in love with certain kinds of ponies… and well they…” Pinkie sighed as she frantically tried to put words together. Pinkie turned to look at Fluttershy expecting to see a look of impatience or annoyance but instead she was greeted by a warm smile. Pinkie gave her a small smile back before taking a deep breath. “The truth is that I’m gay,” Pinkie said and immediately went red and turned away in panic. “But please this doesn’t change how I act or anything, and I’m not in love with you or anything, it’s just, you know… but I understand if you don’t like it or are against it and I understand if you don’t want to be around me or anything…” “Oh, no, that’s fine,” Fluttershy replied with a smile and a calm voice. Pinkie turned to look Fluttershy in the face. “Eh?” replied Pinkie with an almost shocked look. “Well you know… I’ve never really had anything against it, and you're one of my best friends, so I couldn’t really be against you… I’m sorry, were you expecting a different reaction?” Pinkie blinked a couple of times before leaping across the table into Fluttershy and wrapping her forelegs around her in a hug and squeezing as hard as she could. “Thank you, thank you, thank you!” Pinkie screamed repeatedly with a massive smile on her face and watery eyes. “It’s really no problem,” Fluttershy said, gasping for breath. “Oh, sorry,” Pinkie replied, letting go of Fluttershy, “It’s just I wasn’t expecting that reaction. It always went a lot worse when I tried to tell ponies before.” Fluttershy looked at Pinkie with a sad smile. “Yeah… I can see how things could be like that... but I’m here if you need anything or just want to talk.” “I would like that,” Pinkie replied with a small but warm smile, “you know it’s a weird feeling to suddenly change from hiding it from everyone to be able to say it out load. And I really have to thank you, it feels really super good to be able to say that out loud to someone,” Pinkie says with a shy smile. “You’ve been hiding it from everyone all this time,” Fluttershy started to say as her smile disappeared, “You were going through so much pain all this time and I was never there to comfort you or anything.” “No don’t say that, that doesn't matter. The fact that you are here now and that you accept me makes me the happiest pony in all of Equestria!” Pinkie Pie said as she gave Fluttershy another hug. “Thanks… so are you going to tell anyone else?” “I don’t know, not at the moment anyway; I mean, you were great but I can’t expect that from everyone. Plus if it gets out it would be trouble - I’d end up losing a lot of friends and I might even be stopped from doing some kids' parties. It’s just difficult, knowing that something like this could make so many ponies hate me, it’s ju-“ Fluttershy put her hoof on Pinkie's back and smiled at her. “It’s okay, there's no rush and I’m here if you need anything.” “Thanks,” Pinkie replied with a relieved smile. “Hay, could I stay here for a while? I don’t really feel like going out anymore today.” “Yeah, it’s fine, you can stay as long as you want. Even with the new animals I don’t have too much work to do today so we can have fun after that. We could even have a sleepover,” Fluttershy said joyfully at the idea. “Oh it’s been so long since I last had one, it would be great… you know if you want to that is, it’s really up to you.” Fluttershy’s posture retracted inwards as her blissful confidence leaves her. Pinkie giggled at Fluttershy’s sheepishness but then fell silent with a worried look on her face. “Yeah I’d like to but… do you really want to, you know, with me being… well, you know.” “Pinkie,” Fluttershy said as she looked directly at her, “it’s fine, really it is.” Pinkie went a bit red in response. “Yeah, you are the best of friends, Fluttershy.”
New Feelings“I did it again, didn't I,” the Lavendar coloured pony cried as she continually hit her head on her pillow. “Why does this keep happening to me?” Earlier that night Twilight destination came into view. It was a quiet and clear night so the house stuck out as much as the bright moon did. Twilight was trotting down the street with a spring in her step but she was also trying to keep her breathing steady for what was to come. Twilight arrived at Sugar Cube Corner She took a deep breath before she reached for the door handle. As she entered she was immediately greeted by an flood of sparkling lights and a stream of upbeat music. She continued to walk forward cautiously in hopes of seeing one specific pony she knew, but before she could trot even a couple of inches a pink ray of light suddenly ignited in front of her. “Oh my gosh Twily I’m so happy you could make it, well I mean I knew you could make it because you said you could, what I’m really happy about is that you did make it, and you’re here in front of me, well you already know that because you’re here, and that’s why I’m happy!” The newly present pink pony Pinkie closed in on Twilight's face with her massive smile as the space between her and Twilight decreased rapidly, Twilight began to blush and her heartbeat almost doubled. “Ah… yes, of course, I mean hi, no, I mean yes of course hi, why wouldn’t there be a “hi”… erm, I need to do a thing over in a place.” Twilight quickly trotted off to a corner away from everyone else, where she spent the rest of the party there in silence… And now we come back to the beginning, with Twilight groaning into her pillow. "I don’t get this," Twilight moaned in her head, "what has happened to me? Why do I keep doing this, and why is it only around Pinkie?" Twilight turned around on her bed so that she was facing the ceiling. She took a deep sigh and continued to contemplate the situation as she had been doing at night for a couple of weeks now. It was beginning to become a regular occurrence. “I mean, I don’t get this way around AppleJack, or Rarity, or Fluttershy or anypony else for that matter.” Twilight closed her eyes in thought. “Why is it just Pinkie; what is it about her? I mean, she’s fun, always happy, enthusiastic, caring, sweet, has a stunning coat, soft mane, beautiful smile and eyes that I could just stare into forever… wait WHAT!” Twilight’s eyes flung open suddenly as she sat up quickly. “What? Are these feelings friends should have for each other? I know Rarity and Fluttershy have said I look good on many occasions, but this, they never told me anything like this!” Twilight quickly realised that this situation she found herself in was not getting better; in fact, it was getting worse every night, and waiting it out was no longer an option. She viciously slammed her head into her pillow and let out a loud groan filled with anger. “Hay Twilight, you alright?” Twilight turned to see a purple dragon with a worried look on his face by the side of her bed. Twilight let out a nervous laugh before getting up to face him. “I’m sorry Spike, did I wake you?” she said with an unenergetic voice. “Don’t worry it's fine. You're the one I’m worried about.” Spike said with genuine concern in his voice. “What’s going on? You look really troubled by it.” “As soon as I figure it out myself I’ll be sure to tell you.” replied Twilight half-heartedly. “So… you don’t know what you’re upset over?” Spike responded with a look of confusion “Surely if you didn’t know what was upsetting, you wouldn’t be upset by it.” “No, it’s more like a maths equation that I can’t figure out.” Twilight said as she let out a sigh, “and no matter how hard I try I just can’t figure what’s going on. Though I’m sure I’ve read about this somewhere before, I just can’t put my hoof on it. This is just so annoying!” Twilight turned and dropped her head in a mixture of anger and sadness. Spike ran around to face Twilight with a comforting smile. “Hey I know all too well what it feels like to have a maths equation I can’t solve, but when that happens, I just ask someone for help. You could ask someone if they know what to do!” Spikes words gave Twilight a spark of realisation that reignited her energy, her head flung in the air to show a smile of enthusiasm. “You’re right Spike, there is no use giving up on something like this, I can just ask one of my friends if they know what’s going on!” “That’s the spirit, well I mean you could just ask m-“ “Now what friend should I ask? Well Fluttershy is a good listener, but when it comes to giving advice, that’s another issue altogether.” “Yeah, but you could save a lot of time because I could have the answ-“ “Rainbow Dash maybe? But she’s the other end of the spectrum, she could give me some good advice, but I bet I’d never slow her down long enough to talk to her.” “I think you’re ignoring the fact that I’m right he-“ “I got it! Rarity! She’d know what to do for sure! I’ll go see her first thing in the morning.” Twilight smiled, satisfied with her plan. “Well, good night Spike. I’ll need to get to sleep quick if I’m going to be ready for tomorrow.” Twilight quickly jumped back into her bed and turned off the light, leaving Spike to stand awkwardly next to her with a bewildered look on his face. “… Goodnight Twilight.” Twilight was up bright and early to visit Rarity, but as she was trotting towards Rarity's shop she began to doubt what she was doing. “What if this isn’t a normal thing that happens to ponies? What if this isn’t something that should be happening around friends? What if Rarity think it’s weird and doesn’t want to talk to me?” Twilight came to a complete stop in the middle of the street, scared stiff with worry. “Don’t be stupid Twilight, Rarity is your friend and she would never judge you or think less of you because of something like this… let’s not say this is just happening around Pinkie just to be safe.” Satisfied with the so-called conclusion she reached, she continued to trot down the road at a brisk pace. As she did she began to take in the atmosphere. It was a nice day and the light of the sun warmed the town nicely, the birds were tweeting and Ponyville had this nice mix between liveliness and peacefulness that made it so nice to be out on days like this, even if it was too early for it to really get started. It allowed her to calm down a bit from her jumbled state of mind and think a little. “I wonder what Pinkie is doing on this nice day?” Twilight thought to herself. “No, stop thinking about Pinkie, you have so many friends, why do you always think of her first?” Despite the constant telling herself not to, Twilight couldn’t deny the fact that Pinkie was the pony she was always thinking about. She felt this strange emptiness whenever Pinkie wasn’t there, and despite the fact she hasn’t even been able to talk to her normally recently she still found great happiness by just being in the same room as her. “The sooner I find out why I’m acting like this the better. I just hope Rarity has the answer." Twilight abruptly reached the shop and she stopped in front of the door. Twilight paused slightly before knocking on the door. The door was opened within a couple of seconds by a glamorous white pony with a perfectly done mane. “Why Twilight, what a wonderful surprise,” Rarity announced with a smile. “Is there anything I can do for you?” “Hello Rarity,” replied Twilight, “Actually I was wondering if we could talk?” Rarity raised an eyebrow in interest, but she could sense the seriousness in her tone. She signalled Twilight to come in and take a seat and Twilight did so. Rarity went into the kitchen to prepare tea as she does for conversations like this. Shortly after she returned and gave Twilight some tea before sitting down herself. “Now Twilight, Sweetie Belle is over at Applebloom’s for a sleepover they had last night, and I don’t have any work for today so I can hear everything you have to say. I’m all ears,” Rarity said with a smile that helped calm Twilight down a bit. “W-well it’s been going on for a couple of weeks now.” Twilight tried to speak confidently but ended up turning away from Rarity’s eye contact. “You see, I’ve been suffering from noticeable physical symptoms while being near… this certain pony. I start to blush and my heart rate increases… there are also mental symptoms: I seem unable to stop thinking about this pony, and I seem to be overly complimentary of their appearance… You see, I have never experienced this before and I don’t know what it is or means, and I was hoping you could help me figure out what it is, if I mean you would want to help me that is?” Twilight slowly lifted her head to look back at Rarity, but to her surprise she had a smile on her face; in fact, she was even starting to giggle quite loudly. Out of all the reactions Twilight had thought she would get, this was the least plausible reaction she could think of, so much so it rendered her momentarily speechless. “Oh Twilight,” spoke Rarity through the giggling. “You really are so innocent and clueless about these kind of things. It’s quite adorable you know.” “What!?” Twilight tried to speak through the shock of everything. “You know what this is?” “Of course Twilight,” Rarity chuckled. “You are in love!”
To Deny One's SelfTwilight stared at Rarity with her mouth wide open, unable to fully comprehend what she had just said. Twilight blinked a couple of times to try to clear her head, but was unsuccessful. Seeing this reaction Rarity started to giggle even more before it turned into a full on laugh. This didn't help Twilight at all. "What? WHAT!?" Twilight practically screamed in her head, "There is no way that can be true, in love with Pinkie? How can Rarity be taking this so lightly?" Rarity managed to calm down enough so she could talk. "I'm sorry darling, but seeing you so shocked by such a thing really is quite humorous. I mean at this age it's hard to believe you've never gone through this." Rarity had one last chuckle before adding, "So, who is the lucky stallion?" The last comment caught Twilight off guard. "Wait, yes, of course," Twilight thought to herself "I can't be in love with Pinkie, she's a mare, I'm a mare, that wouldn't make any sense. Logically I can't be in love with her." "Y-yeah, erm Rarity," Twilight said as she desperately tried to put her thoughts into words, "I don't think that this is love." "Of course it is dear, I know love from a mile off." "Because this can't be love, it wouldn't make sense." Rarity stopped and looked at Twilight with an inquisitive look. "Why not?" "Because, erm... you know... it's..." There was an awkward silence for a couple of seconds. "Oh look at the time," Twilight finally said, "I need to get going now. Owlicious hasn't been fed today, so you know. Erm, thanks for the tea, goodbye." Twilight galloped out of the room before Rarity even had a chance to react. "Goodbye Twilight..." Rarity said as she sat there a moment before sighing and leaning back. "Hmm, I wonder what has gotten into Twilight recently?" Twilight trotted away from Rarity's shop at an overly brisk pace. "Why did I have to leave like that? It was almost as bad as me being around Pinkie." Twilight thought as the trotted down the street "But what did she mean by that, I mean me and Pinkie are friends, this has nothing to do with lo-" Twilight stopped mid thought as she suddenly remembered where she heard about the behaviour "The behaviour pattens I've been showing are almost identical to the book I read for an old report, it was on behaviourial symptoms caused by being in... love" Twilight stopped in the middle of the street and looked down and was greeted by a puddle showing a confused and worried reflection. "This shouldn't be how it works. Doesn't love involve the things in those romance novels I've occasionally read, where the love interest always shows up when the protagonist is in their time of need-" "Hay Twily!" Twilight jumped back slightly in reaction to the newly emerged pink pony that was now in front of her. Pinkie was giving her a massive smile to show she was happy to see her; this sudden display of affection made Twilights heart race, her cheeks became red and she was unable to think straight. "I was just thinking about you, and then I saw you. It was like you had materialised from my thoughts, but then that would mean you're not the real Twilight, and that you are an imposter, WHAT HAVE YOU DONE WITH THE REAL TWILIGHT? No wait, that didn't really happen, so you are the real Twilight, which is good because I've seen a lot of you recently, but I haven't talked with you much recently. So how is my favourite science pony?" "Eh, I mean hi... erm did you say favourite? Oh of course you would I'm the only science pony you know, I didn't mean to pick up on that... erm... yeah... sorry i need to go do the things that I do... you know things and stuff, so erm goodbye." Twilight then galloped off towards the library at quite a fast pace, leaving Pinkie standing alone in the middle of the street. "Darn it Twilight you did it again," Twilight grumbled in her head "If you keep this up she'll suspect something, not that there is anything to be suspicious of, yes that's right I'm not in love with Pinkie, I can't be. There must be some difference between this situation and the common symptoms of being in love. All I need to do is cross reference and find the inconsistencies and then I'll be able to figure out what this really is." Satisfied with her new objective, Twilight headed towards the library at a hurried pace. In her mind she had to get to the bottom of this quickly because the longer she thought about it, the more it began to make sense in her mind, and Twilight could not just accept that. "Argh!" Twilight groaned as she threw a pile of notes onto the floor. Three and a half hours had passed and no matter how many cross reference charts, back-to-back stem plots or even parallel bar charts she made, she could find no significant difference between the two situations. "Now even science is against me." Twilight muttered as she dropped her head onto her hoofs. "Still feeling down?" asked Spike as he walked past Twilight's desk. He was munching on gems but he still sounded sincerer "Want one?" Spike held out a blue gem towards Twilight with a kind but unconfident look on his face. Twilight faced Spike and was greeted by said gem and as she looked at it, the light blueness of the gem reminded her of Pinkie's eyes and that then reminded her of Pinkie's smiling face that was always connected to them .Twilight's distressed frown turned into a smile as she gazed into the gem, in an almost dazed like state. "... Erm Twilight," said Spike as he waved his other hand in front of her, "you're starting to scare me." Twilights gaze suddenly snapped as she realised what she was doing. Twilight regained her composure and stood up. "I'm sorry Spike," Twilight says before dropping her head and turning around "it's been a very long day." "What have you even been working on?" Spike asked as he grabbed one of Twilight's note sheets. "NO!" Twilight screamed as she grabbed one of the notes of him and held it close. "You can't read that." "Why not?" Spike asked with an inquisitive look. "Erm, they're secret documents from Celestia, yeah, that's right." "But you keep your secret documents on that table." Spike said as he pointed towards a round table in the main viewing area of the library that was riddled with massive folders labeled "secret documents," some of which are being used as drink coasters. "You asked me to go over them as you left this morning," he added. Twilight blinked a couple of times to regain her train of thought. She then quickly grabbed all of the notes that were on her desk with her magic and threw them into the fireplace. "What a shame, all the documents have caught fire, oh well. Is that the time? Should probably get a good night sleep for tomorrow. Goodnight Spike." Twilight then rushed into her room and slammed the door behind her. Spike raised an eyebrow and looked out the window, as he had thought the sun was still high in the sky. He raised his eyebrow at the fireplace, but then continued to eat his gems. Twilight found herself staring out of her bedroom window, gazing into the light blue sky. Truth be told things did make sense - she knew a perfectly logical explanation too why this was happening... she just didn't want to admit it. She wanted there to be some other explanation, like maybe it was just a new stage of friendship she didn't know about or maybe she just looked up to Pinkie as a pony. She didn't want it to be love with a mare. "Why now, why Pinkie... why me?" Twilight thought to herself as she closed her eyes and rested her head on the windowsill. "I've heard about ponies like this, I mean I've never had anything against them, I'm just not like that... am I?" Twilight opened her eyes and peered onto the streets outside the library. She saw a random stallion with a light grey coat who she looked at intently. She noted that he was well built and had nice hair, but when it came to judging whether or not he was attractive or not, she found that quite hard. She could obviously appreciate that ponies would find him attractive and she could see that he looked good. But there was absolutely no initial attraction towards him. "Was there ever a stallion I liked?" Twilight thought as she got up to look at the ceiling in contemplation. She searched her memories for any recollection of a stallion or colt she liked, but she had no success. On the other hoof, she couldn't really think of any mare she's had a crush on. "This is even more confusing. If I was like that, I would at least have been in love with one mare, I mean except Pink-" Twilight stopped mid thought. Despite everything, Twilight still withheld her feelings towards Pinkie from herself. "No matter how many times I say I can't be in love with Pinkie Pie, it doesn't change anything. She's still all I think about. No matter what I'm doing, she's always in the corner of my mind - she's still the one pony whose presence makes me feel happy." Twilights body shifted back towards the window, her gaze returning towards the light blue sky of the beautiful day. "I want to be close to her, I want to hold her, I want to... kiss her." Twilight thought as a tear rolled down her face. "Why do these feelings have to be so wrong?"
Pinkies Perspective"Eh, I mean hi... erm did you say favourite? Oh of course you would I'm the only science pony you know, I didn't mean to pick up on that... erm... yeah... sorry I need to go do the things that I do... you know things and stuff, so erm goodbye." Pinkie Pie watched in silence as her Lavender friend galloped away from her. For a couple of seconds she just stared at where Twilight once stood and then her mane deflated a little. "Why has Twilight been acting this way around me lately?" Pinkie thought as she shoke her head to pump up her mane and continued onwards. "Could she have noticed? No, you've been trying so hard not to let it show, you haven't done anything differently, you've been talking to her like you normally would and you have been calling her 'Twily' long before this." Pinkie Pie couldn't help but doubt herself. She had noticed that Twilight was always getting away from her and avoiding direct conversations. In her mind Twilight finding out about it was the most likely explanation for her behavior. "They always do try to avoid me when they find out," Pinkie thought with a sigh, her stride keeping strong in spite of it all, "Why did you let this happen again, you know it never ends well when it happens, you promised yourself you would never fall in love with a mare again." Despite her protests, Pinkie knew that wasn't going to happen. She's known she was 'like that' and that there was nothing she could do about it, and believe her, she's tried. Just thinking about the subject brought up bad memories in her head and there was one specific memory that stuck out from the rest at that moment. This was quite an old memory, from when Pinkie was still a filly. It took place after she saw the Rainboom, but before she moved to Ponyville. She had made a lot of friends and was having fun playing and throwing parties for everyone. But there was one friend she had more fun with than any other, a friend who Pinkie just clicked with and a friend who Pinkie developed her first crush towards as a little filly. It was of course another filly. She had a light pink coat and eyes that had vibrant shade of pink. Her mane was separated into two different shades of blue that combined beautifully together. She was yet to get her cutiemark, but that made little difference to the two of them and they were best friends. Despite Pinkie's new feelings towards her, she was too young to understand what they meant. So things carried on as normal and Pinkie was too happy with all her new friends to question any of it. It was one week before Pinkie was going to leave for Ponyville and the two were talking on one of the schools benches. They were sad that they would be leaving each other soon, but they did not want to talk about that. As they were talking the pony said to Pinkie, "I'm really glad we became friends" and that was when Pinkie did something she would unknowingly regret to this day. She leaned over and kissed her. The reaction she got was not one she was expecting. Her friend in shock got up and galloped away to leave Pinkie alone with a sad and confused look on her face. She later found out that her friend had told a teacher... "It wasn't my fault, no one ever told me it wasn't normal to kiss mares." Pinkie Pie thought as she cringed at the memory. "But my parents definitely told me that when they found out. They yelled it in fact, repeatedly." She never did see her friend again. They were going to have a big party before the day she left for Ponyville, but that never happened. Pinkie instead moved on from the incident. She was too young to think anything of it and she put it out of her head. She had forgotten about it for a long time and it wasn't untill her teenage years that her circumstances made her remember that day. She remembered when all the mares started talking about stallions. She could never take part in those conversations; she never really understood it. Everything always felt upside down to her. It wasn't long before Pinkie started to realise her sexuality. It wasn't something she dealt with very well. She still remembered those dark nights when she would stay up looking into the mirror and repeating over and over to herself that she wasn't like that. It came to no success though, she continued to have these feeling and she even started to have anouther crush on one of her friends. She didn't tell her friends any of this; she was too scared of them hating her and she couldn't even accept it for herself. She still does remember that mare she had a crush on though, she was a jasmine yellow coated pegasus with a tiffany blue mane. She remembered that she was around her house near the end of the school year. It was just them alone together and Pinkie wasn't dealing with it very well. Pinkie had been hiding her feelings for a long time and was finding it harder to keep it hidden. Her friend who was worried about her asked if anything was wrong, so she answered honestly - she told her that she loved her... Things fell silent. Her friend was in shock and couldn't really respond except with an unconfident "O-okay." Pinkie quickly tried to explain and say that she knew nothing would come from it and it changed nothing between them, but her friend was still unsure of the situation and said it was fine, but Pinkie could tell she was weirded out by it. The rest of the evening passed by very awkwardly. Her friend didn't tell anypony about it, but she still avoided talking to Pinkie and they never hung out one-on-one together anymore. The following year they were put into different classes and they eventually just faded out of each other's lives over time. There have been a couple of other experiences like this and they all ended badly. Through the sadness Pinkie started to get better at hiding her true feelings from ponies. But her feelings continued to pile up and it came to the point where she couldn't deny that she was like the way she was. She never really accepted it as part of her, she saw it more as a flaw that she had to work around. "Come on Pinkie, you shouldn't be thinking these things now, you know it always brings you down," Pinkie thought as she forced one of her signature smiles and continued to head in the direction she was going. "You have a party today and you need to put on a good show for them." Pinkie trotted down the road to get some last minute supplies for the party she was preparing for that day. The sun shone on Pinkie giving her that glow she always has, but something was off about it this time. She still had her puffy mane and glowing smile, but her trot: there was no skip in it, there was more of a tiredness in it - a tiredness that had dwelled in Pinkie a long time, a tiredness that Pinkie was finding too hard to conceal anymore. It was nearing the end of the party and Pinkie had done everything she could to make it a success. She had found herself in a small room connected to the main party area. She was sitting on a chair staring at the door connecting the two rooms with a blank look on her face, just listening to the music and laughter coming from the opposite room. "Why are you acting like this all of a sudden, you can't start letting this affect your life again, if this keeps up something bad will happen again." Pinkie thought to herself as she pushed her hoofs into her face with a frustrated moan. "Hello Pinkie." Pinkie was startled by the sudden presence of a colt who had just opened the door and snuck into the room. He was a white coated pony with a black mane and yellow eyes who looked at Pinkie with a comforting smile. "Hi," replied Pinkie with her best attempt at a smile. "You're the birthday colt's older brother aren't you. How are you enjoying the party?" "It's a lot of fun, even if I am a bit old to wear a party hat and play with balloons." "You can never be too old for that!" replied Pinkie with a tired enthusiasm. The stallion chuckled before adding, "Are you alright? You don't seem to be your usual quirky self." "I'm fine," replied Pinkie with a sigh. "I'm just tired." "If you're feeling tired you should get some rest instead of throwing a party," reasoned the colt with concern in his voice. "You shouldn't just pretend for the sake of others." "Sometimes it's just easier that way," responded Pinkie with a cold tone. Pinkie lowered her head and let her mane deflate a little as a silence engulfed the situation. The colt was taken aback by the words Pinkie said and also the way she said it. "You know it's weird seeing you like this," said the colt finally with a cheerful grin that he tried to warm up the mood with. "You are normally so happy and hyper. I guess I've always viewed you as some kind of goddess that is resistant against sadness, but you are just as normal as the rest of us." Pinkie raised her head to face the colt again. "I know it's really silly of me to say," continued the colt, "but you've touched the hearts of so many ponies it's hard to not see you that way, and you've changed my life for the better. I'm not sure if you remember, I was a normal kid and had friends, but I was never myself, I was an act I would put on to get people to like me. I was depressed and didn't know why, until you showed me a path - you showed me that I should always be myself and I am eternally grateful for that." Pinkie looks at the colt with a sad smile and a couple of tears in her eyes. "But sometimes it's so hard." The colt looks at Pinkie with a warm smile. He is unable to know what Pinkie was going through but he knew he had to say something to comfort her. "I remember you telling me one specific thing which later turned out to be true, and I have never looked back since. You told me that no matter how good life gets, you will never be as happy as you would be by being true to yourself." Pinkie wiped away a tear from her face as her mane regained it's composure. "Thanks." she said with a sincere smile. "Sorry I've been a bit off today, but I'll be back to my happy pappy self in no time." "That's good to hear. I'm heading back to the party; I don't want to miss the last piece of cake." With one last friendly smile the dark haired pony turned around and left through the door. There was a pause before Pinkie leaned her head back and looked towards the ceiling. "He was nice, I wonder if he would have been as nice if he knew just why I was upset," Pinkie thought to herself "but he was right, I've spent my entire life trying to hide this from everypony, and what good has it done. Lying to everyone, lying to myself, it's brought me nothing but missery... but telling ponies has brought even worse misery." Pinkie turned back to the door to think "Maybe I should tell somepony who I know is okay with this kind of thing, or at least won't tell anypony else if she's not. But who do i know like that?" Pinkie stared at the door intently to focus her mind and as she did a name suddenly came into her head. "Hmm, she might be okay with it. I can't imagine her being against it and I know for sure she wouldn't tell anyone. But we've been friends for so long, I don't want to ruin that... No, I can't back out of this again, you have to do this... I just hope she understands."
Pinkies ConfessionIt was a busy morning in Ponyville. Everypony was rushing around frantically and the markets made it very noisy. Pinkie had just about managed to get through the commotion unharmed but the hot sun still stared down on her, making her flustered. Pinkie followed the dirt roads through the woods and plains. The roads were a lot quieter and calmer than usual; it allowed her a spring in her step despite the heat. As she reached the top of the last hill she saw the sun shining upon a small cottage up ahead. Pinkie took a deep breath and headed straight towards it. As she approached the cottage, she began to hear the noises from inside, the sound of animals rushing around becoming louder and louder the closer she got to it. Pinkie began to lose energy more and more through every step. As she reached the cottage all energy and motivation was lost in her movement. Pinkie looked at the cottage's door with a worried look. She took a deep breath and knocked on the door. Pinkie swallowed before the door opened making all the noise from inside sound louder. This revealed a pink-haired pony with the sunlight shining off her yellow coat. “Oh hello Pinkie,” Fluttershy said with a calm and quiet tone, “what brings you here?” “Hi Fluttershy, how are you, that’s good, I’m fine as well, lovely weather we’re having, are yes I imagine it is a bit too hot outside. Oh me? I was just passing by through the woods casually as you do and I thought why not pass by my good friend Fluttershy’s house,” Pinkie Pie blabbered with a forced smile. “…Um, okay,” Fluttershy replied as she tried to piece together what Pinkie had just said, “would you like to come in?” Fluttershy extended her hoof to signal Pinkie to come in and she stepped out of the way to let her. Pinkie bounced in past her and looked around. The cottage was unusually dirty with broken vases and ornaments on the floor and animals running in between Pinkie's hooves. “Sorry about the mess,” Fluttershy said as she picked up a broom to clean up a bit. “I’ve had some new animals come in and they are being a bit difficult.” “It’s fine, why wouldn’t it be fine? I’m in a perfectly good place of mind and I’m definately not screaming inside with any sort of worry about anything, that would be silly.” Fluttershy turned to Pinkie with a confused look. “Um, okay…” There was a long moment of silence with Pinkie looking at Fluttershy with a big unnatural smile and Fluttershy looking back at her with a worried look. “...So... is there anything I can do for you?” Fluttershy asked. “Me? Well there may be something but that’s not really important. The real question is, what can I do for you?” Pinkie Pie said holding up her hoof to point at Fluttershy. “Um, Pardon me?” “I could clean the dirt from under the sofa!” Pinkie said while holding up the sofa over her head. “You really don’t have-“ “Or I could oil this creaky door!” Pinkie said as she swung the back door open and closed. “Erm, Pinkie are you feeling ok-“ “I could even change all the light shades in the house so they match the ceilings - Rarity taught me how,” Pinkie added as she hung off the ceiling. “You’re starting to really worry m-“ “I could even throw you a party!” Pinkie cheered as she threw around confetti and put party hats on all the animals. “Pinkie.” “Or I could even-“ Fluttershy threw out her hooves in front of her and caught Pinkie in mid-sprint. She turned her around so that they were facing each other. “Pinkie please, I know when you’re worried about something. Can you please calm down and tell me what’s going on?” “Hehe… yeah, I’m sorry. Could we please sit down for this?” Fluttershy nodded and let go of Pinkie. They both went towards Fluttershy’s sofa and sat facing each other. Fluttershy looked straight at Pinkie, but Pinkie kept moving her head all around to avoid looking directly at Fluttershy and her hooves were fiddling with random objects. “So what is going on?” Fluttershy asked politely. “Well erm… I really need to tell you this thing. It’s kind of hard to say out loud though. You know how ponies fall in love with ponies, and well, they only fall in love with certain kinds of ponies… and well they…” Pinkie sighed as she frantically tried to put words together. Pinkie turned to look at Fluttershy expecting to see a look of impatience or annoyance but instead she was greeted by a warm smile. Pinkie gave her a small smile back before taking a deep breath. “The truth is that I’m gay,” Pinkie said and immediately went red and turned away in panic. “But please this doesn’t change how I act or anything, and I’m not in love with you or anything, it’s just, you know… but I understand if you don’t like it or are against it and I understand if you don’t want to be around me or anything…” “Oh, no, that’s fine,” Fluttershy replied with a smile and a calm voice. Pinkie turned to look Fluttershy in the face. “Eh?” replied Pinkie with an almost shocked look. “Well you know… I’ve never really had anything against it, and you're one of my best friends, so I couldn’t really be against you… I’m sorry, were you expecting a different reaction?” Pinkie blinked a couple of times before leaping across the table into Fluttershy and wrapping her forelegs around her in a hug and squeezing as hard as she could. “Thank you, thank you, thank you!” Pinkie screamed repeatedly with a massive smile on her face and watery eyes. “It’s really no problem,” Fluttershy said, gasping for breath. “Oh, sorry,” Pinkie replied, letting go of Fluttershy, “It’s just I wasn’t expecting that reaction. It always went a lot worse when I tried to tell ponies before.” Fluttershy looked at Pinkie with a sad smile. “Yeah… I can see how things could be like that... but I’m here if you need anything or just want to talk.” “I would like that,” Pinkie replied with a small but warm smile, “you know it’s a weird feeling to suddenly change from hiding it from everyone to be able to say it out load. And I really have to thank you, it feels really super good to be able to say that out loud to someone,” Pinkie says with a shy smile. “You’ve been hiding it from everyone all this time,” Fluttershy started to say as her smile disappeared, “You were going through so much pain all this time and I was never there to comfort you or anything.” “No don’t say that, that doesn't matter. The fact that you are here now and that you accept me makes me the happiest pony in all of Equestria!” Pinkie Pie said as she gave Fluttershy another hug. “Thanks… so are you going to tell anyone else?” “I don’t know, not at the moment anyway; I mean, you were great but I can’t expect that from everyone. Plus if it gets out it would be trouble - I’d end up losing a lot of friends and I might even be stopped from doing some kids' parties. It’s just difficult, knowing that something like this could make so many ponies hate me, it’s ju-“ Fluttershy put her hoof on Pinkie's back and smiled at her. “It’s okay, there's no rush and I’m here if you need anything.” “Thanks,” Pinkie replied with a relieved smile. “Hay, could I stay here for a while? I don’t really feel like going out anymore today.” “Yeah, it’s fine, you can stay as long as you want. Even with the new animals I don’t have too much work to do today so we can have fun after that. We could even have a sleepover,” Fluttershy said joyfully at the idea. “Oh it’s been so long since I last had one, it would be great… you know if you want to that is, it’s really up to you.” Fluttershy’s posture retracted inwards as her blissful confidence leaves her. Pinkie giggled at Fluttershy’s sheepishness but then fell silent with a worried look on her face. “Yeah I’d like to but… do you really want to, you know, with me being… well, you know.” “Pinkie,” Fluttershy said as she looked directly at her, “it’s fine, really it is.” Pinkie went a bit red in response. “Yeah, you are the best of friends, Fluttershy.”
