I live in Los Pone, a huge city full of mafias, criminals and traitors. My job? I'm a hitmare, I kill ponies who need to be killed and ignore the rest, and get paid for it. Do I like it? No. Is anypony else going to do it? Also no. So I'm stuck in this terrible city with my terrible job, trying to make a living in this dead-end world. My name is Pinkamena Diane Pie and this is my story.
My boss, Gummy, gave me a job today. Its from Sir Lins'alot, some rich guy who wants me to go kill his ex-wife, Madam Flower. Today is no different from any other day. All I gotta do, is risk my life for 1,000 bits. The only dangers happen to be a gigantic mafia out to kill me since I happened to kill one of their members, the entire city police force, and any other buck I have to deal with. It's not a glamorous job, but it pays the bills for my crappy apartment for when my part-time job at this dumb bakery won't do.
Anyways, it turns out this Sir Lins'alot guy had a 'love affair' with his now divorced wife, Madam Flower. Flower was a gold digger, and a cheater, and they broke up. She was cheating with Linsalot and this guy called Tom, who's now dating my former best friend, Rarity Belle. But, anyways, Linsalot freaked out and now he wants me to kill her. How pleasant. Anyways, I gotta go to the other side of Metropone, past all the mafias, cops, everything. All for 1,000 stinkin' bits. If you havn't noticed, I hate my job. I'd rather be a humble baker in a village like Ponyville, with lots of friends, and maybe raise a family. Hopes and dreams don't always come true.