I was walking in ponyville with a group of my friends. Its around midnight and I just got back from the club. My friends took me there so I'd stop feeling bad about my girlfreind dumping me. When I got home they walk back to thier homes. I fall asleep immediatly deciding to pass out on the couch. I woke up to a loud crash in the kitchen. When I run to investigate what the crash was I found a pretty black mare with a black mane and blue eyes covered in pots and pans, one of them covering her cutie mark. She is cursing silently.
"Hey!" I said " What are you doing in my house?!"
"Uh, uh, I dont know?" she looked me straight in the eye.
" Umm you are here, so obviuously you should know."
"Just looking for a...um..." She picks up a fork off the ground "A fork!"
" Ha ha ha" I said with no real humor in my voice." Now why don't you tell me why you are really here before I call the guard?"
She rolls her eyes and takes a pan off her head "A freind of mine was trying out a teleport spell and misfired" There is obvious sarcasm in her voice.
"So you broke into my house?" I look directly into her eyes trying to find some symbol of deception
"Not exactly." she tries to get up but a heavy pot has her pinned to the ground.
"Ill give you ten seconds to explain yourself before I call the guards." I turn around and move towards the phone.
"Some friends of mine broke in and made me go along." she said quickly.
"where are your friends?" I asked her looking around.
"They were unicorns so I guess they teleported out." she said looking around too.
"okay then, was that hard?" I said opening the window."now then" i stuck my head out the window and starts screaming" GUARDS!
GUARDS! HEEEEELLLLLLP!"but as I scream I feel somthing cold, hard, and sharp go up against my neck."YOU WOULDNT!" I yell at her.
The pans are off her now and her cutie mark is clearly visible, its a blood tipped dagger "Try me" She said dangerously.
"You sly little bitch." I chuckled" Alright you got me, do with me what you will."
"I dont need to do anything with you." She snarled.
"Then why are you holding a bucking knife to my throat?!" I asked with a hard tone in my voice.
"To get you to stop calling for the gaurds." She said as If it were the simplest thing in the world.
"So if you let me go I call the guards. If you don't then what you gonna kill me?" I said to her.
"Perhaps, or I could just do what I came here to do" she said almost menacingly.
" If you touch anything, you will regret it." she sees my cutie mark is a pair of handcuffs.
"Im not here to steal anything, like I said, I came here with my friends. I just came along to ask the owner something."
"well who the buck do you think is on the end of your damn knife?!" I said
"Just a precaution, your not gonna die either way you answer it. Wanna get a coffee or something sometime?"she seems very calm as she says this
"W..what?!" I began to get a migrane" So you broke into my house to ask me to get a coffee sometime and you have a knife to my throat
while you are asking me to? Im not sure if I should say no or yes!" I look at her."If I say no you will probably kill me right?"
"No, I only kill when I feel its necessary" She said.
"That's a comforting thought" I began to relax a little." What? You couldn't have gone up to me on the street and asked me?"
"Felt a bit to formal" She said.
"Im a bucking police officer I could have you arrested for assault on an officer and breaking and entering!" I look back at her as it dawned on me.
"Im an assasin, I could kill you here and now" She said in menacing tone.
"Hey now! I said I could I didn't say I would. Could you like get the knife away from my throat?" I asked her as it began to dig deeper into my neck.
"fine" she takes it away and sheaths it."Like I said it was just a precaution."
"Ok then." I walk to a drawer and open it. Out of it I pulls a semi auto handgun" If you move your dead!" I say loudly."Now its time you answer some of my questions."
She smiles really wide "Now thats the kind of guy I like."
"Have you ever heard that joke "An armed pony broke into my house and a pony with no arms tried to break out?" I asked her.
"Nope." she said.
"Well its about to come true if you don't stop edging your hoof toward the bucking knife!" I yell at her.
"Fine."her hoof goes back to the ground.
"Drop it and slide it toward me and don't forget the ones in your mane and belt oh and the hidden blade attached to the underside of your left hoof." I said with a smile.
She drops all of them and two in her tail and kicks them to me.
"Alright now who sent you and why do they want me dead? I'm not with the asf anymore." I say pointing the gun at her
"Asf?" She looks confused now.
" the Assassin Strike Force it was an organization used to bring down assassin rings. You are trained like one and taught to think like one. Now who sent you?! You have five seconds before I splatter your brains against the wall give me an excusse not to I dare you!"
She frowns "I learned this from my ex, and if I was here to kill you I would of killed you while you were asleep or while I had A knife up to your neck." she said matter of factly.
"What do you mean your ex?" I ask.
"My ex boyfreind." She said looking at the ground.
"Oh." I lower my gun a little bit and my guard along with it.
"Im actually using his tactic to get me to be his girlfreind, except he didnt have three guns pointed at me just incase I killed him, I said I came with freinds, I didnt say where they teleported to." She said smiling.
"You sly bitch!"I lowered the gun to the floor.
"Im not a bitch, I'm just doing what I came here to do. You never answered my question." She said looking at me for some sort of response.
"Well what if I say no? You gonna have your friends kill me? I bet they don't need an excuse to kill do they?!" I ask her.
"Why is that always your assumption?" She sighed almost as if she was tired of me saying she was going to kill me.
"You broke into my damn house, put a knife to my throat, and said you were an assassin to my face! What else should I assume?!" I ask her.
"Good point, but I take regection pretty well so if you dont want to have coffee, say no." she said almost nicely.
I sigh and sit on the couch nearby."Sit down then and we can talk about this. Don't worry you keep the gun and you can have your knifes back I wont call the guards I'm to exhausted." I say rubbing my eyes with my hoof.
She takes the gun from me and puts it back where its supposed to be and puts back all of her knives then sits next to me.
"First of all I'd like to say I could have gotten away from you at any time." I say looking into her doubtful eyes.
"My friends would of shot you the moment you left the house" She grinned.
"Better to kill the killer than be killed by the killer himself or by her cheating friends." I say angrily.
"Depends on the situation." She says
"Yeah so why would a good looking assassin like you wanna ask a law abiding cop like me out for coffee?" I ask giving my full attention.
" I didnt know you were a cop, you are handsome, I heard you were single, take your pick" She said fidling with her retractable knife.
"You know what?" I look straight into her eyes.
She looks at me curiously.
"Why don't you have your friends put their guns down before the sniper five blocks away from here takes all of them out?" I look at her with a wide grin.
"Hmmmmm, how does one take out a triangle formation with one sniper?" she asks interestedly.
"Hmmm why don't you tell me why there is only one of your friend left as of riiiiiiight now." I I look at my watch and smile widely.
"Why dont you tell me why your sniper is dead?" She looks at me with an evem bigger grin.
I stand up quickly and talckle her to the ground. "You bitch he had a family and kids!" I try to punch her but she catches the punch. she is surprisingly strong.
"You think they didnt!" She yells at me.
"You know what? screw it kill me take this knife"I put the knife to my heart" And shove it through my damn chest do it, do it!" I yell into her face.
She takes the knife and throws it "NO! That defeats the purpose of coming here!"
"I don't give a buck If you wont I will!" I grab the gun out of the drawer and put it to my head.
She takes the gun from me and throws it aganst the wall.
"Please just end it for me." I plead to her.
"You really want to end your life over three deaths?" She looks at me like I'm
"You really don't know do you?" I sat back on the couch"I wasn't trained like the others at the asf I was one of the masters of assassination I've killed so many I can't even begin to imagine the number. Every kind of pony fillys, colts, mares, stallions a lot of colts I can tell you I'm done I've seen too much death. These will be the last three I will ever cause again I'm done now just get it over with." I look down at the ground.
"I didnt know that I was dealing with a coward." she said mockingly.
"I'm not a coward." I say angrily.
"Then why are you gonna kill yourself. It is the ultimate act of cowardice." She says knowingly.
"Beacause I derserve the punishment I'm going to get when I die I'm going to hell and I deserve every second of it call me what you will all I ask is that you leave me to my own demise you cant talk me out of it." I say and I start to get up.
"I can stop you though." She says pushing me back down.
"How are you gonna stop me while you are paralizyed?" I pull a small dart out from between the couch cushions and jabs it into her side. Thast when I feel a dart penatrate my neck "one gun left" I think.
"Dammit." I say as I faded into blackness.
She smiles and it is the last thing I can see before I go unconscious.
