The Last of the Perytons

The four beings stood at the table together. They glared at one another as a deck of cards was shuffled. One of the four, a pegasus with a coat that was a mix of orange and brown, glared at the shuffler. “Why did you bring us here?” She asked.

The shuffler seemed to grin, although most of her face hidden by a long black coat, and tossed a card to the pegasus. “To demonstrate what I am going to say.” She tossed a card to each of the three players in turn, and then dealt one to herself. “You really are terrible at dealing with luck.”

A small red dragon picked up one of his cards and grinned. “What do you mean?” The shuffler shrugged and dealt him another two cards.

“Take this for example.” The dragon peeked at the two cards and grinned. “You have three of a kind there.” The dragon nodded, his harsh eye glaring suspiciously at the dealer.

“So? Deal me my other two,” he snapped. “Finish up with your analogy. I don’t want to have to deal with it for longer than I have to.”

“I will finish in due time,” she hissed. She dealt him another two cards, and then dealt five more to a different stack. “What do you have there?”

“A full house,” the red dragon snarled, revealing his hand. Three generals and a pair of aces were shown in his scaly grip.

The shuffler nodded and flipped up three of the cards in the stack she had dealt. “Three of a kind.” She gestured to the three cards, showing one of the three types of ponies on each. She then flipped up a fourth, showing a bearded unicorn. The dragon’s eyes widened and he blew a shot of fire, incinerating the four cards.

“So?” He tossed his pair of aces back to the dealer, who then handed him two new cards. He gazed at them for a moment before adding another card to his three. “There. Four of a kind. We’re tied. What does this show?”

She grinned and flipped up the last card in the stack, revealing an ace. “You could have kept one of those aces and at least have had a chance of winning. Instead you gambled it all away for a card you would have gotten anyway.” The dragon glared at the figure before burning his cards to ash with a puff of flame.

“What’s it matter? I would have won anyway.”

“Maybe,” she replied. "However, you didn’t try to eliminate the variables. You gave away one you didn’t need in your perspective, and lost as the end result.” The red dragon snorted and stalked away from the table.

One of the other players, a pale blue dragon, placed his card on the table. “Custom deck?” He asked, moving his claw away to reveal a card with a windigo on it.

“Yes.” Another four cards landed in front of the blue dragon, who picked them up one at a time.

“What does this go to show?” He asked coldly. He revealed three of his cards, each with a windigo on it. “I know what happened. Why do you have to tell us?” He ran a claw through the table, leaving deep grooves.

The dealer shrugged and dealt five cards into another pile. “That you didn’t try going for something better.” She flipped up the cards again, revealing yet again a card of each pony species. “You had it in the bag, but you were beaten by a simple card.” She flipped up another card, revealing a general. The blue dragon nodded and set his cards back unto the table. “You had the opposite problem of our friend over there.”

“Very well.” He set his cards in the normal sign of folding and stepped back. He swished his tale back and forth, his cold eyes focused on the pegasus. “As for her?” He asked coldly.

The pegasus gulped and peeked at her card. Her eyes gazed at the dealer in an attempt to gauge something of her plan. She took her cards as they were dealt and grinned when she had all five. She flipped them all up, revealing a flush. “So…What do you have to say about my style?” She asked. She pointed to the cards on the table. Each displayed a griffon, their eyes beady and cruel. “I fail to see how you can criticize this.”

“Easily.” With that word, five cards were dealt face up onto the table. Another flush, made entirely of pegasi. “You went for a lower suit,” she hissed coldly. “Far too many things outrank griffons. Unicorns, pegasi, earth ponies, dragons and more. You lost by one of the most standard rules around.”

The pegasus grimaced. “I don’t play by the rules,” she muttered. “A flush was never what I planned to face. How many suits are there in that deck anyway?” She threw a dagger onto the table, pinning the five cards in place.

“Far too many. Griffons, diamond dogs, pegasi, unicorns, earth ponies, timberwolves, even manticores.” As she named each race, the dealer dealt a card of that suit onto the table. “I could go on, but I thought I’d spare you the humiliation.”

“I’d like to see you do better,” the pegasus muttered.

“I will,” she hissed. She dealt herself a hand of five cards before handing the deck to the pegasus. “Go on. Deal out five cards.” The pegasus did so, revealing five cards of the same suit: a princess, a draconequus, an ace, a general, and a high princess. The pegasus’s eyes widened with surprise as she saw them.

“An unbeatable royal flush.” She examined the cards one by one as if to make sure her eyes weren’t deceiving her. “A draconequus, two alicorns, a general, and the Elements of Harmony. What are you playing at? You can’t beat that hand. There’s no way that you could beat that in all possibility. You can’t outrank that suit and you can’t beat the hand.”

The dealer grinned, revealing that she had a three of a kind: a trio of deer-like monsters. “You’re right, I can’t. However,” she sneered, throwing the draconequus back into the deck. “I can do this.” She handed a new card to the former royal flush, then drew a new card. She held it up, revealing a draconequus and the trio of deer-like monsters. “A three of a kind. That’s all I need.”