Author's Note
NB: this story was written before Ember was a canon G4 character.
Ra Ra Raspberry
Really? You desire another story? Very well then... be still, mare and stallion alike. Close your eyes and open your ears, let your hooves be still and let your minds fly free. This is a tragic tale indeed, yet one that few ponies know here in Ponyville. Indeed, we know almost nothing of its author, save that he lived many centuries ago. We do not even have his name; he is usually called simply by his Canterlot Archives reference code, Pony M.
Listen...
Ask the great research unicorns of our land, and they will tell you that there are an infinite number of worlds, each of them doomed always to remain separate, yet connected in their own way by that thread of stories that runs through us all. And yes, that means there are also an infinite number of Equestrias, from the most distant past to the farthest future and beyond. Some of these are very like our own, and differ only in the most insignificant ways. Some are so different that we cannot even comprehend them. Many lie somewhere in between the two.
In the Equestria of which I speak now, my little ponies, things were very different from the world you know today. It was only a few years after Canterlot itself had been invaded by Queen Chrysalis and her changeling hordes. Even our land's greatest heroes, the Element Bearers themselves, were on the verge of defeat and saved only by... but that is a story for another time. All you need know now is that the attack was eventually repelled and peace came once more to the City of Princesses.
As time passed, the Bearers became determined to make peace with the changelings. There was considerable resistance, of course, but these mares' reputations were such that there was no brooking their arguments in the end. Chrysalis herself and her close confidantes were banished to Tartarus, but negotiations began in Canterlot itself with the army's more conciliatory elements.
At length, it was agreed that, in return for a binding promise to forswear future aggression, the changelings should be granted a kingdom of their own, high among the peaks of the Unicorn Range far to the northwest. So long as they kept the peace and acknowledged the suzerainty of the Princesses, they were allowed to govern themselves. They elected a new Queen, a changeling named Aurelia.
Now, there lived a certain stallion in Tall Tale, long ago when this story takes place. This pony was a unicorn, and his name was Raspberry Ripple. He was not fond of the name, which he felt more suitable for the playful colt he had once been than for the fully-grown stallion he had now become. He did not like his ice-cream cutie mark either, and if anything he was even less fond of the nickname Ra Ra, by which he had been known since kindergarten. Nevertheless, that is the name by which he is best known in the stories that have come down to us. His legend is a strange one, as I shall now relate.
Ra Ra was big and strong, and so he had found employment as a guard at the city gates. In truth, he had taken this job at least in part because he found so many other occupations closed to him, thanks to his most distinctive feature: in his eyes was a flaming glow. There were whispered rumours of a dark magical influence in his ancestry, although nopony ever produced any actual evidence for this. Nevertheless, most ponies looked at him with terror and with fear and, without his beloved cat, Ember, he might well have lived his life alone.
Strangely enough, this state of affairs did not last. For reasons that to this day remain uncertain, the mystery surrounding him began to prove irresistible to a certain class of pegasi: specifically, mares from Cloudsdale itself. I don't imagine any of you youngsters have been to Cloudsdale, but if you should ever get the chance I advise you to take it. What's that? Why yes, I have been there myself. I was honoured to accompany the great Princess Twilight herself on a brief visit. The reasons are... unimportant. But I will say that the pegasi have every reason to be proud of their great city in the sky.
But on with our tale. Although most city guards were stolid, unflappable types, Ra Ra himself had a burning fire within, as well as that flame in his eyes. He was devoted to the Princesses with a passion that would have graced the Loyalty-Bearer herself. Whenever he had the chance, he preached on the alicorns' benevolence and grace, consumed by the intensity of his belief and full of ecstasy and fire.
And this is where the tragedy of Raspberry Ripple truly began. For the power of his preaching and that strange, dark face of his made him the kind of teacher young mares would desire. A certain type of young mare, to be sure: those very same Cloudsdale pegasi who already crowded around him, hoping to win his favour. My own mother once told me, as dam to foal, that some ponies never really grow out of that fillyish enchantment with darkness and danger, and so the pegasi were drawn to Ra Ra like moths to a flame.
But then Aurelia made a visit to Tall Tale. It was intended as nothing more than a quietly diplomatic affair: the changeling wars had left the city almost entirely untouched, save for an occasional refugee from Canterlot who still dwelt there. All went well, and there might have been nothing more to tell had it not been Raspberry Ripple himself who was given the honour of escorting the Queen back to the borders of her own land. Along with him, of course, went Ember.
Nopony really knows what happened in those days in the untended wastes around Smokey Mountain. What is certain is that Ra Ra did not return to Tall Tale. A search was raised for him, and rumours began to swirl around: that Aurelia had kidnapped him for ransom, that he had defected to the changeling kingdom, even that in some strange and terrible way he had been transformed into a changeling himself.
The truth, however, was more startling still: the unicorn and the changeling had fallen in love. Imagine! Ra Ra, lover of the changeling Queen! The rumours back home intensified: he was in hiding! His hat had been seen! There was his cat! No, he really was gone! A few ponies secretly admired him for his sheer audaciousness in forming a relationship with Aurelia, and referred to him as "Tall Tale's greatest love machine", but they were very much overshadowed by the general feeling that it was a shame how he carried on.
And this, mares and stallions, is where our story takes an even stranger twist. For it appeared that Aurelia was no longer an effective ruler of her kingdom. She was distracted by a terrible illness that had befallen... well, we shall never know for sure, but legend has it that it was her son. In any case, it was soon Raspberry who ruled the changeling land in all but name. One of the more colourful stories about him from this time claims that he loved to dance in the high hills – do any of you know of the exotic kasaclop? Well, that is where it is said to have originated. Ra Ra was said to have been a wondrous dancer to behold.
Gradually, it began to be Raspberry who became the de facto ruler of the changeling kingdom: in all affairs of state, he was the pony to please. Nevertheless, his judgement was affected as he began to take an interest in other female changelings. It was said that his real greatness came not in the throne room, but when he had someone to squeeze.
The queen, meanwhile, had remained above all this. She was by no means a stupid changeling, and had realised that her love was unfaithful; she had heard the things he'd done. But she refused to listen to those who called for action to be taken against him, insisting that the unicorn was a healer who would heal her son. Ra Ra, indeed, turned his magic to the royal son and for a time, he seemed to be rallying. Even so, the voices against him did not go away, both in the hills and at home in Tall Tale.
It did not help that Raspberry's great appetite for romantic company was equalled by his appetite for food and – especially – drink. He would have cartloads of cider brought in from Ponyville at great expense to the royal treasury, and it became harder and harder for Aurelia to convince her subjects that her consort was still an effective administrator. When he was under the influence of alcohol, he became dictatorial, throwing changelings who did not agree with him into the caves beneath the mountains. His drinking and his lusting and his hunger for power became known to more and more ponies – and unsurprisingly, perhaps, demands to do something about this outrageous stallion grew louder and louder.
Back in Tall Tale, anger at what was now seen as an outright betrayal of ponydom had erupted into street protests. "This pony's just got to go!" declared his enemies, of which there were an increasing number. As before, the most consistent opponents to action being taken against their lost guard were the mares of Cloudsdale, who begged for him to be given another chance. But although (no doubt) this Raspberry had lots of hidden charms, the fact remained that he had become a brute. Mares still fell into his forelegs in their most private dreams, and female changelings did so in reality, but the hour of his downfall was at hoof.
One night, the elders of the city council met in Tall Tale and agreed that action needed to be taken. These ponies of higher standing set a trap for Ra Ra. They sent a message to the Unicorn Range: "Come to visit us," they kept demanding. At first he sent back word that their invitations were appreciated, but that he was unfortunately busy with affairs of state at the moment. As time went on, though, his refusals became angrier, and on one occasion he even sent a spy disguised as himself to humiliate his would-be hosts. Anger reached such a pitch at this that, for a moment, it seemed that the shadow of war could be glimpsed on the edge of sight.
But Aurelia eventualy managed to persuade her beloved that he should accept the ponies' entreaties. She pointed out that, if there were another war, the weakened changelings would inevitably lose; did Raspberry really want to send her – and himself – to Tartarus for all eternity? So, at last, he really came to Tall Tale.
There is not much left to tell, my little ponies. As had been agreed at the elders' secret meeting, the ponies had put some poison into Ra Ra's punch, intending to do away with him once and for all. His iron constitution was such, however, that he suffered no more than a slight headache, famously remarking "I feel fine" with flashing fire in his eyes as he blithely accepted a second glass. If you've ever wondered why Tall Talers tend to use that phrase ironically when they get food poisoning, then there is your answer: they take this story as though it were their very own.
The elders didn't quit, of course. Having brought their enemy to their own stronghold, they would be satisfied with nothing less than final victory: to be quite blunt, they wanted his head. And so, as he left the city to return home, his guard of honour – many of whom had once been his colleagues – turned on him. Raspberry Ripple fought bravely, but it was one unicorn against six, and those with horns already fully charged with magic. And so they shot him till he was dead.
Little more is known, as Pony M's manuscript is damaged at this point. Aurelia put aside her grief to care for her dying son, and war was averted thanks to the sympathy that her very equine tragedy elicited from the ponies of Tall Tale. After his funeral, a monument was raised to his honour in the city. Of course, that Equestria is not our own, but who can say how things might have turned out had you or I been involved in its creation?
Ra Ra. Raspberry. Lover of the changeling Queen. However you think of him and the tragedy that befell both the stallion himself and those he loved, remember his fate well. He deserved no more; he deserves no less.
