Equestria 51

by hennyboo13

Rating: everyone
Tags: Comedy, Random, Human
Length: 1966

Scientists at Roswell interview extremely strange aliens...

In 1947, a team of scientists working at Area 51 in Roswell, New Mexico have discovered six aliens, equine in appearance, but are a variety of bright colors, have wings and horns, and, strangest of all, can talk. The scientists interview them one by one, trying to get information from them, but all they do is reject, refuse, and annoy the hell out of the scientists.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2014-05-25 23:40:05 UTC

The Craft

Roswell, 1947. A radar at the infamous area 51 detected a mysterious craft hovering in the sky.

"Oh no, not again!" Said the man working at the radar. He jumped up from his chair and walked over to the air force commander's office. "Sir, I've detected another mysterious UFO in the area. What do you suppose we do now?" He asked.

The commander didn't believe a thing the man said. "That's ridiculous! Why would you believe that! It's just another weather balloon! Nothing weird as a UFO!" The commander said.

"But sir, we know they're out there! Remember that thing the tanks shot at in Los Angeles five years ago? That's enough proof!" Said the radar man.

The commander still didn't believe him. "That 'Thing' was just a Japanese bomber!" He said. "What you're seeing right now must be one of our weather balloons!"

"Why do we need weather balloons? There's nothing to spy on!"

"Those weather balloons are the ones we launched to detect Soviet A-Bomb tests. You do realize that they may have many more nuclear weapons than we do, right?" Said the commander.

"That ain't true at all!" Said the Radar man. "The Soviets don't have nuclear bombs! That's just an urban myth!"

"So are the UFO's!" Said the commander.

"Well that's more believable than Stalin's stash of nukes, right?"

The commander still tried to convince that the UFO was really a weather balloon and why the military needed them. "The Soviets DO have nuclear weapons! It's too obvious! They rival us, they want to be stronger than us, so they are building more nuclear weapons! They're out of control!"

"Our arms stockpile is out of control!" Said the radar guy. This got the commander very upset.

"That is no way for a soldier to behave! Calling us nuclear freaks! Are you insane?" He yelled.

"It's just the ultimate truth!" Said the radar man. "Now you must believe in the UFO! It really is one!"

"Fine, it's real!" Said the commander sarcastically. "Go out there and see for yourself." Just then the radar guy walked outside the base and went to go see the UFO. "Hahaha, sucker." Said the commander, just before a large CRASH was heard outside, followed by a flash of bright light. Thinking it was an atomic bomb, the commander crouched under his chair. "Remember what they said! Duck and cover!" He screamed in panic.

The radar man had just heard the crash and ran outside the base to see what caused it. A few meters away, he saw that something had crashed to the ground, smoke coming out of the engine. He walked over and took a look.

He saw that what had crashed was indeed a UFO. It was about the size of a car, with half of it buried in the sand. He saw a hatch on the top of the craft. Slowly and carefully, he turned the wheel and opened the hatch up. And there, he saw the creatures inside. "My God!" He said, with a shocked expression on his face.

The commander was still hiding under his chair, waiting for the windows to smash and the building to collapse. But then, the radar guy came running back in. Confused the commander said: "How are you still alive? That was an A-Bomb out there!"

"It wasn't a bomb of any kind." Said the radar guy. "Those were aliens."

"What?" Said the commander. "All right, call the scientists. Now."

***

The car came to a halt at the gate. The soldiers saw that these were the scientists that had been called on to investigate the mysterious event that had just occurred. "All right, move along" Said on e of the soldiers, and he opened the chain link gates. The car drove into the air hangar, where the craft had been hauled over to by a few soldiers. The hatch of the craft was open, and a large wooden crate with airholes stood next to it. the scientists got out.

"Greetings" Said the air force commander. "Come take a look at these specimens, they're quite peculiar."

"How many of them?" Asked the Ben Daniels, the head scientist.

"Six" Said the commander. "There are six of them."

"Let's have a look" Said Daniels, wiping off his glasses.

The commander said, "They're in the questioning room now, and they're ready for an interview."

The commander then led Daniels into the facility. They walked through a hallway and came to a door. AUTHORIZED PERSONNEL ONLY said a sticker on the door. The commander unlocked and opened the door, and Daniels walked in. He saw another door, with a large glass window next to it. behind the glass window was a table.

And there, sitting at the table, ready for an interview, was a little purple flying unicorn.

Interviews

Ben Daniels sat down opposite to the alien. The alien looked patient, ready for listening. Ben Daniels began to ask the alien questions. "Who are you?" Was his first question.

"Greetings, sir." Said the alien. "I'm Princess Twilight Sparkle of Equestria. I am the leader of the Elements of Harmony and the Princess of Friendship."

"I see." Said Daniels. "Do you have any knowledge of your species?"

"I am a pony, Equis Equestrianus, and I am specifically an alicorn, Equis Equestrianus Alicornia." Explained Twilight.

"Why have you come to Planet Earth?" Daniels asked.

"I don't know" Said Twilight, "I didn't even know this was Planet Earth!"

"Are you hostile?" Asked Daniels again?

Then Twilight said, "Why would the princess of Friendship be hostile! I come in peace!"

"I see. Do you have any knowledge of the creatures accompanying you?" Asked Daniels.

"Yes!" Said Twilight. "They are my five closest friends, them and I wield the Elements of Harmony!"

"Now, what are these Elements of Harmony?" Asked Daniels.

"Magic, Laughter, Generosity, Loyalty, Honesty, and Kindness." Twilight explained. "They keep Equestria in balance and avoid utter chaos!"

"What happens if these Elements don't keep things in balance?" Asked Daniels again.

"Then there will be utter chaos! Everypony will be rivaling each other, trying to prove who is the greatest in Equestria! It can go too far as blowing up everything and killing everypony! Only some crazed, Discorded maniac would do that kind of stuff!" Twilight warned him. That's when Daniels realized something.

"Hold on a sec" Said Daniels. He walked out of the room and talked to the commander for a moment. "Did ypu hear what she said?" He asked. "She says we are Discorded Maniacs!"

"Why do you know that?" Said the commander.

"She claimed that Discorded maniacs cause utter chaos by blowing up places and killing people! That is basically us!" Said Daniels. "That is America! We are the savages!"

"Are you being disloyal to your country?" Asked the commander suspiciously.

"No, it's the truth! She's too smart!" Said Daniels, and he walked back into the room to continue the interview. "Sorry about that, let's get back to questions" Daniels told Twilight. "Tell me, do your friends know a lot?" He asked.

"Yep, they do?" Said Twilight.

"All right! Next subject!" Yelled Daniels, and the soldiers pulled Twilight away. They brought in the next alien for Daniels to interview.

The soldiers sat the alien down at the table, across from Daniels. This alien, however, looked similar to the previous one, as it was equine in appearance and had wings, but it lacked a horn, and it was cream-colored, with a pink mane covering part of its face.

"Hello there" Said Daniels. "What is your name?"

"I'm... I'm..." Said the alien hesitantly.

"Yes?" Said Daniels patiently.

"I'm... um..." Said the alien again, and then she turned her head away from Daniel and squealed.

"Take your time, please" Said Daniels, but the creature wouldn't budge. Eventually it squealed loudly and ran out of the room. "Ok, next please" Said Daniels. The soldiers brought in the next one.

This alien had a horn but no wings, and had a white coat and purple mane, but she was complaining a lot.

"Put me down! What are you doing to me? I don't like this one bit! What's going on here, huh?" The alien exclaimed.

Daniels began interviewing. "Hello, my name is Benjamin Daniels, and I mean no harm. Tell me, what is your name?" He asked.

"I am Rarity, and I demand to know what you are doing to me!" Said the creature.

Then Daniels said, "We're just here for an interview, so-"

"AN INTERVIEW?!?!?!?!" Exclaimed Rarity. "I DON'T WANT TO HAVE AN INTERVIEW, I DIDN'T DRESS UP RIGHT? I LOOK TERRIBLE, I'LL NEVER GET A JOB LOOKING LIKE THIS!"

"It's ok, this is not a job interview." Said Daniels calmly.

"YOU ARE A DISCORDED MANIAC TO BRING ME TO AN INTERVIEW WITHOUT ME KNOWING!" Shouted Rarity again.

"Please be calm and stop whining!" Said Daniels.

"Whining?" Asked Rarity. "I'm just complaining. THIIIS IS WHIIINING!!!! OOOOH, THIS ROOOM IS SOOO SMAAALL! YOU CRAAAZY DISCORDED MANIACS ARE HOLDING ME HOSTAGE! SOMEPONY SAAAVE MEEEE!!!" She shouted.

Daniels covered his ears. "Take her away! Give me the next one!" He shouted angrily. The soldiers grabbed Rarity, who was still "Whining" and carried her out of the room. "I hope the next one isn't as crazy as this one was!" Daniels said to himself. The soldiers brought the next alien in. She was pink, had a curly mane, and smelled like candy.

"Oh hi, who are you? I'm Pinkie Pie! Do you like to party?" Said the alien, identifying herself as Pinkie Pie.

"My name is Ben Daniels" Said Daniels, "And I'm here to ask you a few questions."

"Oh boy! I LOVE guessing games!" Exclaimed Pinkie.

"This is not a game, this is an interview." Said Daniels.

"An interview?" Said Pinkie, "Am I getting a job here?"

"No, this is not a job! I just want to know what you are, why you are here, and-"

"THIS IS BOOOOOOOOOOOORING!!!!!!!" Shouted Pinkie. "Let's do something else. Are you hungry?"

Then Ben said, "Well, I- MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMPH!" Shouted Daniels as Pinkie shoved a bunch of cupcakes down his throat. Then she took out a giant carton of milk, and poured the whole carton down his mouth to wash the cupcakes down. Daniels started to cough. He said, "I don't feel so- BLAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUUGH!!!!!" And then he projectile vomited all over the room, destroying the audio tapes, the film cameras, and the notes he was taking, getting them all wet and soggy. "I CAN'T TAKE THIS ANYMORE! GIVE ME THE NEXT ONE! NOW!" He shouted.

"Sorry." Said Pinkie Pie, and the soldiers carried her away. Then they brought in the next one, which was light blue with a rainbow colored mane and wings.

"Hello *COUGH*, may I have your name please?" Asked Daniels, wiping his mouth.

"I'm Rainbow Dash!" She said. Noticing that Daniels was bald, Rainbow said, "Hey, you're an egghead."

"I take that an insult." Said Daniels. "Now, I'm going to ask you some questions." He said again, and Rainbow started to answer them without being asked them first.

"XBOX! Call of Duty! Cheesecake! Cloudsdale! Wonderbolts! The Bridesmaids! Missouri! Stinky boxer shorts!" She shouted.

"I didn't even ask!" Said Daniels.

"Sorry about that, ask me anything." Said Rainbow Dash.

"Why are you here?" Asked Daniels.

"Because I am." Said Rainbow Dash.

"I mean, why did you want to come here? Who sent you here?" Asked Daniels again.

"I won't tell you that!" Said Rainbow Dash.

"Why not? I need to know, this is not a yes or no question." Said Daniels.

"You're invading my privacy! I don't want to talk, quit forcing me!" Said Rainbow.

"All right, all right, I won't go too serious. This interview is done. Next please!" Said Daniels, and the soldiers took Rainbow Dash away.