Weapons Of Moth Destruction

by Blueshift

Rating: everyone
Tags: Comedy, Crossover, Twilight Sparkle, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 4949

A gigantic robot from space is stalking Equestria destroying everything it sees. Meanwhile, Twilight is more concerned with finding a copy of a book about moths. Yes, it's going to be another one of those days.

A gigantic robot bounty hunter freelance peacekeeping agent is stalking Equestria, destroying everything it sees. Meanwhile, Twilight is more concerned with finding a copy of a book about moths. Yes, it's going to be another one of those days.

Published 2014-05-25 22:40:04 UTC
Last updated 2014-05-25 22:40:04 UTC

Weapons Of Moth Destruction

“Perfect! At least, nearly perfect...”

Twilight slipped the last book into place on the shelf and took a step back. Row upon row of neatly dusted book spines stared back at her (insofar as books can stare). Those that she hadn’t been able to salvage from the destruction of Golden Oaks Library had been replaced by copies, after months of scouring Equestria.

The new Ponyville library was almost complete.

Almost.

The gap sat there, mocking her with its gaping lack of content. The only thing that was stopping her new library from being truly perfect: a black void between Mandelbrot’s Moth Miscellany Volume III and Mandelbrot’s Moth Miscellany Volume V. The inlaid gilt lettering almost mocked her. Twilight sat for what felt like hours, shaking her head at the space as if willing the errant volume to pop back into existence.

She couldn’t find it anywhere. She had visited every library she could reach and written to countless more. She had taken out adverts in all the journals and papers offering money for a copy, but to no avail. She had been in correspondence with a moth collector who had promised to track down a copy, but after a flurry of enthusiastic letters, she had heard nothing more.

Was volume four really that rare? Had it even existed? She was sure she would have noticed if there was a gap previously in the collection. Perhaps volume four was so exciting that its owners greedily hoarded their copies, never once letting it out of their grasping hooves.

“You’re not still upset about that, are you, Twilight?” Spike waddled into the room, balancing a stack of envelopes in his tiny claws. He rolled his eyes at the sight of Twilight despondently crouched before her bookshelves. “Does it really matter, Twilight? Really? Will anyone notice?”

“I will! I’ll notice!” Twilight twirled around to fix Spike with a glare. “You can’t just skip from three to five! It’s got to be like it was, exactly the same, and that means tracking down Mandelbrot’s flipping Moth Miscellany Volume Four if it’s the last thing I do! Besides, you know how these things work; it will probably be the solution to some sort of advanced friendship conundrum. I wouldn’t want to disappoint Princess Celestia!”

“Yeah. Moths have loads of friendship issues, I hear.” Spike started to sift through the mail. “Bill. Bill. Begging letter. Bill. Begging letter. Bill. Bill…”

“Give those here!” Twilight lunged forward and snatched the letters from Spike’s grip. She tore them open as fast as she could, discarding each one as she read it. “No! No! No! That moth collector pony still hasn’t replied! What’s his game, Spike?” She tensed up. “Maybe he’s got it already and is waiting for me to crack? Well, I’ll show him ‘crack’!”

Spike threw his hands up in defeat. “He’s probably just got different priorities. Maybe there’s some sort of friendship lesson in that?”

“Maybe…” Twilight grimaced. “I just know this book will end up being important. It’s so obscure that it would be a million to one chance if it became relevant, and as we all know, million to one chances happen all the time.”

“Princess Twilight! Princess Twilight!” Twilight’s door was unceremoniously thrown open to reveal a panting pegasus, clad in the remains of royal guard armour. It hung off him in scraps, charred and burnt. “You must come to Manehattan quickly, on orders of Celestia! Something terrible is happening!”

Twilight raised an eyebrow. “Is this moth related?”

The guard stuttered to a stop in confusion. “W-wha? No, Princess! Manehattan is under attack from – ”

“From a moth?” Twilight finished for the guard. “A gigantic moth?”

“No.” The guard frowned at Twilight with worry dawning in his eyes. “Sorry, Princess. Not a moth. A gigantic fifty foot tall robot with a skull for a face and devil horns.”

“Oh.” Twilight’s face fell. “That doesn’t sound like a moth.”

***

Stardust stumbled through the wreckage that littered the street, burning scraps of timber falling around him like embers from a fire. He coughed up a lungful of smoke, straining his reddened eyes to try and see through the dust and flames all around him.

“Oh Celestia! Oh Celestia!” he cried out, gulping down his fear. All he could hear was the crackling of the fires and the distant sounds of screaming. “I’ve lost him!” he whispered to himself, sheltering in the ruins of the nearest building. He let a smile crack across his face. “I’ve lost him!”

“Tell me where it is, yes?” A deep, booming voice ripped across the sky, and a silver skull-like face loomed over the shattered remains of Stardust’s shelter. Two emotionless red eyes glared down at him. “Don’t take me for a ride, pony. Pony ride. Ha ha. Joke, yes?”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about!” Stardust screamed, covering his face. “Stop it! Stop it!” Through his hooves he could see the gigantic figure standing several stories tall above the destruction. With a casual air, it pulled off one gauntleted hand and attached what looked like a stubby nozzle of some sort. Stardust was pretty certain it didn’t dispense ice cream.

Death’s Head, as he was known to his friends, enemies and victims (most of which were one and the same), glared down at the small pastel equine and aimed the nozzle of his flamethrower. All around him the city burned, laid waste in his rampage. He had spent the morning cracking open buildings, knocking over statues and interrogating any of the natives he had come across. None of them had put up much of a fight; indeed he suspected they had never even seen a sub-nuclear scatter grenade before, let alone been on the receiving end of one. “Your last chance!” he grated down at the pony. “Or it’s barbeque on the menu!”

He did like to try and lighten the mood. There was nothing that said that wholescale destruction needed to be totally negative.

Just as he sent the command to spew out gouts of deadly flames in the direction of the pony, something struck his head, sending his huge bulk staggering across the streak and his aim wide, gouts of flame arcing harmlessly into the sky.

His hand reached out to steady himself against the nearest building, rending chunks from the masonry with the force of his weight. Internal sensors kicked in to highlight the vector of the attack. It was that annoying white pony again. Unlike most of the passive creatures in this city, it had been on the attack for the good part of an hour, flying around and shooting what seemed to be laser beams from its horn. Thankfully it was nothing more than a minor nuisance. Death’s Head flicked out his finger and struck the annoying creature, sending it cartwheeling to the ground.

“Hmmph,” he mumbled, looking about for the pony he had been tracking. It was gone. Shaking his head, he started to stalk down the street, forty tons of metal marching down the main street of Manehattan with zero regard for the casual destruction left in his wake.

Spotting another likely target, he turned onto a tall cylindrical building, tearing off the roof and glaring down at the terrified ponies revealed within. “Where is it?” he roared in electronic anger.

“…Where is Mandelbrot’s Moth Miscellany Volume Four?”

***

“I knew it!” Twilight gave herself a mental pat on the back for being so diligent as the voice of the giant robot carried over the ruins of Manehattan. The city was a complete mess; no part of it had been untouched by the villain, and yet there had thankfully been no casualties. This, Twilight thought, was probably more a combination of luck and the marshmallow hardiness of the equine race, rather than any mercy on this foe’s part.

“I told you!” Twilight turned to Spike with a smug look on her face. “I told you the moth book was important! It’s probably the key to extra-dimensional treasure, or a space moth or something!”

“Yeah, sure.” Spike scowled and folded his arms. He didn’t like being wrong, and Twilight was probably going to be insufferable all day. This was easily worse than an attack by a giant robot from space.

A multi-coloured blur spun through the air over the remains of Manehattan’s skyline and crashed into the earth near Twilight like an out-of-control comet. A groan emanated from the crater, and a familiar but grimy face soon emerged.

“Princess!” Twilight gasped, running over to Celestia’s side and helping her up. “Oh, Princess! What happened? Are you okay?”

Celestia rose unsteadily to her hooves, clutching her head. “Y-yes, Twilight. This creature…” She looked up at the silhouette of Death’s Head that bobbed above the burning rooftops. “He seems to deflect all my magic. I don’t understand, it’s almost as if…”

“Don’t worry, Princess!” Twilight puffed her chest out proudly. “You can rely on me! It wouldn’t be the first gigantic horned villain I’ve defeated this year!”

Before Celestia could shout a word of warning, Twilight spread her wings and took to the air in a streak of purple. She flashed through the sky, hurtling towards the gigantic metal biped that towered over the city.

It really was huge. The strangest thing though, was that despite its bulging silver muscles and horned head, it seemed to be wearing a green body warmer and tattered red cloak. Twilight could not think of many cases where fifty metre tall giant robots could be made more menacing with the application of body warmers and cloaks, and this certainly wasn’t one of them.

“Stop right there!” Twilight pirouetted to a stop in mid-air, hovering before the creature’s beady red eyes. Her wings flared as wide as they could get and her horn started to glow with magical energy, to show she really meant business. “I don’t know who you are or why you’re here, but this rampage stops now!” She frowned. “Okay, I know why you’re here, but that book’s mine!”

“Aha!” Death’s Head’s eyes lit up greedily. “The precious book! Mandelbrot’s Moth Miscellany Volume Four, I have scoured the multiverse for it! Give it to me!” His right arm rose, the hand replaced with a wicked mace, swinging around in an attempt to smash Twilight into tiny fragments.

“Whoa! No!” Twilight dived out of the way, a lance of magic shooting from her horn in the direction of the mace, shattering it into metal shards. “I mean, if you find a copy, it’s mine, not yours! If I had one all my problems would be over!”

She shook her head as Death’s Head removed the broken mace handle from his wrist and clipped into place a multi-barrelled rocket launcher. “Well, okay, not all my problems!”

“Funny, eh?” Death’s Head raised the weapon and fired round after round at the purple pony. The heat-seeking rockets roared through the air towards Twilight. “The pony has a sense of humour, will tell that one to the grandkids, yes?”

Twilight’s eyes bulged as she saw the rockets twisting towards her. She tried to dive out of the way again, but the pursuing missiles simply changed direction, getting closers and closer with every second. “That’s cheating!” she exclaimed, beating her wings forwards with a burst of speed, straight towards Death’s Head with the missiles in close proximity behind her.

She flew right up to his face, and at the last possible moment, she banked upwards, causing the missiles to helplessly plunge into Death’s Head’s face.

Or at least they would have if spiralling rays had not shot out of Death’s Head’s eyes to catch the missiles and send them harmlessly to the ground where they exploded on top of a (thankfully deserted as everyone was on holiday) housing estate.

“That’s cheating!” Twilight shrieked, looking back and shaking her hooves. “What was that?”

“The beginning of your demise, yes?” Death’s Head rasped, raising his arm in one swift motion to reveal the barrel of an enormous cannon now affixed to his wrist. He let loose with a flurry of primeval energy that spewed crackling light straight towards Twilight.

Twilight barely had time to put up defensive spells as the blast washed over her. Teeth gritted and wings desperately flapping to stay aloft, she summoned the most destructive spell she could and sent it back towards Death’s Head. The two blasts intermingled, each pushing against the other, sending each combatant reeling for support.

“Impressive, yes!” Death’s Head grunted under the strain, pouring more power into his own weapon. “More effective than that last pony. Did you eat breakfast this morning, eh?”

“That is odd!” Celestia stared at the fight from ground level, a confused expression breaking across her face. She turned to Spike. “Twilight’s magic seems to be having some effect against him. It’s almost as if…” She fell again into pondering silence.

“Enough!” Death’s Head roared as both blasts finally cancelled themselves out in a boom of energy that broke any windows in the vicinity that had been lucky enough to escape damage before. “You are indeed powerful, little one! I suggest that we stop this battle here…”

“Whew!” Twilight wiped her brow. She was sure she wasn’t able to go on for much longer.

“…And battle anew on the astral plane!” Death’s Head put a gauntleted hand to his metal head as wobbly lines started to emanate from his horns. “Using the power of my mind I shall project us there!”

“Oh, come on!” Twilight shouted as she was helplessly caught in the psychic wave front. “That’s not a real thing! Is it a real thing?” All around her the air shimmered until she found herself floating, wraith-like in a void filled with fizzy dots and mysterious grids and triangles with four corners. “I guess it is a thing!”

“Now you will face my full power!” Death’s Head floated before her in the void, ducking out of the way to let some spherical cubes drift past his head. He attached some sort of astral flamethrower to his wrist, pointing it straight at the hapless Twilight. “Hmm, brings back memories, yes?” he grunted. “I haven’t had an astral plane fight since I battled Unicron, the evil Transformers god.” He waved his free hand dismissively. “Of course, then I was flung through the time vortex where I met the time traveller known only as ‘The Doctor’ before being dumped on Earth where I teamed up with the Fantastic Four to…”

“Wait…” Twilight raised a hoof as an awful thought ran through her mind. “Wait just a minute.” She peered forwards at Death’s Head. “Are you just someone’s fan fiction character?”

Death’s Head looked genuinely upset at this accusation. “What? No!” he exclaimed. “I was built by a space wizard!”

“Argh!” Twilight cradled her head. “I knew it! You’re ridiculous! Well, I don’t know what evil purpose you want this book for, but I’ll stop you!”

“Hired, yes?” Death’s Head boomed, reading his weapon for the final confrontation. “Usually I just kill for money, but my employer is paying me an awful lot of money to get hold of this book, and rule number one is to never turn down a contract.”

Twilight’s horn began to glow again, mustering up all her remaining power. “A bounty hunter! You’re a bounty hunter? What sort of sick, twisted individual would hire a bounty hunter to track down a rare book?”

“Freelance peacekeeping agent,” Death’s Head corrected, tapping in some adjustments to his flamethrower to ensure it was extra hot. “Not bounty hunter.” His eyes flashed an even deeper red. “Do not call me that. And now, small pony, die, so I may continue my mission for Princess Twilight Sparkle!” He raised his weapon to fire.

Twilight stared up into the barrel. “Ah.” She exclaimed, suddenly and horribly feeling an empty pit open up in her stomach. “So uh, you’re Death’s Head?”

“Yes!” Death’s Head exclaimed. “Intergalactic freelance peacekeeping agent, for certain financial remuneration!”

Twilight pursed her lips. “So… not ‘Death’s Head’ as in the moth, but ‘Death’s Head’ as in….”

Death’s Head tapped the side of his metal skull. “As in efficient, professional mass-destruction, yes. But this won’t stop your imminent death!” Flames licked along the barrel of his gun.

“Oh heck.” Twilight whimpered briefly into her hooves. “No, I’m Princess Twilight Sparkle! I employed you! Only… I didn’t!” She sank to the astral ground, sighing. “I thought you were a moth collector who would potter about some bookshops looking for a rare book, but instead you’re…”

“A giant robot killer from space who destroys everything in his path.” Death’s Head finished the sentence for her, lowering his weapon. “Killing the client is bad for business, yes? We can continue discussions back in reality.”

The air around Twilight started to wobble again and she felt herself become lightheaded. Scant seconds later she blinked, her body aching as she found herself lying on the ground surrounded by a concerned Spike and Celestia.

“Twilight!” Celestia gasped, cradling Twilight in her hooves. “You fell out of the sky! We were so worried.”

“It’s okay…” Twilight shook the wooziness from her head. “I was just fighting him on the astral plane, that’s all.”

Celestia looked grim as the hulking figure of Death’s Head thundered towards them. “Do not feel ashamed that you could not defeat him, Twilight, he is protected by ancient magic.” Her brow furrowed. “It is strange. He seems to be protected by the same Equestrian magic that protects lawful servants of the princesses, but that can’t be right…”

“Yeah, about that…” Twilight rose to her hooves, biting her lip as Death’s Head drew nearer. “See, funny story, Princess…”

“Perhaps Luna has once again turned against – no, I won’t believe that!” Celestia shook her head. “How, Twilight? How could this evil creature have gained the most sacred protection of all?”

“I’ve still not found your book, Princess Twilight Sparkle!” Death’s Head boomed down from on high. “But rest assured I will not leave an inch of this world standing until my search is complete and Mandelbrot’s Moth Miscellany Volume Four is in your possession!”

Celestia slowly turned to Twilight.

“Look, it’s not like that!” Twilight waved her hooves frantically at Celestia. “Seriously, Princess! It’s not my fault! I didn’t hire him or give him any sort of protection or anything; it’s all a big misunderstanding?”

“Really?” Death’s Head’s giant robot eyebrows frowned, and he reached into a pocket to take out a tiny scrap of paper in between his forefinger and thumb. “Dear Mr Death’s Head,” he started to read. “Thank you for offering to track down the copy of Mandelbrot’s Moth Miscellany Volume Four. It is very important I get that book. Use this letter as proof of your mission, and any and all protection and authority I can offer you. Let nothing stand in your way. Upon receipt of the book you will be paid the princessly sum of fifteen bits. Yours, Princess Twilight Sparkle.”

Death’s Head put the letter away again. “Seems pretty clear, huh?”

Celestia’s eyes narrowed. “Twilight!” she hissed.

“No! No!” Twilight backed away from Celestia, but then realised she was backing into one of Death’s Head’s enormous feet. “I thought he would just visit a few book shops, not…”

“Let nothing stand in your way,” Death’s Head added, rather unhelpfully.

“Twilight!” Celestia’s voice got louder. She started to shake.

“Look, okay, there’s been a huge mistake!” Twilight gulped hard, looking up at Death’s Head with pleading eyes. “I don’t’ need a bou – freelance peacekeeping agent! It’s okay, sorry for wasting your time! Now, let me just pay you your money and you can be on your way before anyone is actually hurt and any more property is destroyed, and we’ll call it quits, right?” She nodded with a hopeful smile.

“No.” Death’s Head hefted an axe into his hands and started to casually sharpen it.

“No?” Twilight exclaimed. “But… but… why not?”

“Professional pride!” Death’s Head glared down at Twilight. “Rule number two, never leave a job half-finished! I would be the laughing stock of the freelance peacekeeping community!”

Twilight sunk down further. “Well, at least no-one’s been hurt yet,” she grumbled. “That’s some luck.”

“Not at all!” Death’s Head raised a finger. “Rule number three - no freebies! If I started to kill people for free, who would want to hire me, eh? Did you want…”

“No! No!” Twilight yelped upwards in a high pitched voice. “No, definitely not!”

Death’s Head shrugged. “Let me know if you change your mind, huh? But have no fear, Princess, I will find your book for you!” He shifted his head to the right. “My sensors detect another large settlement full of colourful equines, I shall interrogate it immediately!”

Without another word, he turned and stalked off towards the hills in the distance, swinging his axe playfully as he went.

“Twilight…” Celestia was incandescent with rage, her usually serene features reddening in fury. “You hired a bounty hunter to find you a copy of a book?”

“Freelance peacekeeping agent!” Twilight squeaked back automatically. “And I didn’t know! I promise! I-I’ll fix this!” She looked out at the destruction of Manehattan, and the citizens who were sadly picking their way through the rubble. “Well, not this, but you know what I mean.”

Celestia just sighed. “And fifteen bits, Twilight? You are so cheap!”

***

Death’s Head stalked the land, his mighty boots smashing furrows into the soft earth as he looked for his next likely target. He polished the barrel of his neutron disruptor ray as he walked, whistling happily to himself. So far he had not had any luck, and he had wasted an awful lot of ammunition, but he had a good feeling about the next place.

He surveyed the small settlement he had stumbled across. At the very centre was what could only be described as a large tree-castle, rising high about the shops and houses. “Ah!” he exclaimed, readying his missile launcher. “Perfect!”

Across Ponyville, Twilight stared out of her window directly at Death’s Head. “Oh come on!” she yelled, more to herself than Spike. “He’s going to blow up my library! My library! Why does this keep happening to me, what did I do to deserve this?”

“You… you hired him?” Spike ventured, twiddling his claws. “Twilight, you know he’s not going to stop, right? He already knocked over Stalliongrad and Trottingham looking for your silly book. I know when you usually mess up, Celestia rewards you with something completely disproportionate, but she’s pretty mad this time!”

Twilight slumped from the window, sinking her head into her hooves. “What am I going to do?” she wailed. “It’s true, it’s all my fault! All those poor ponies who lost their homes because of him! And he won’t stop because I…” She slowly looked up, face paling. “Oh, Spike,” she whispered with a twinge of horror. “Oh, Spike. I know what I must do.”

“That’s great…” Spike trailed off as he noticed Twilight’s expression. “Isn’t it?”

Twilight started to breathe heavily. A tear trickled down her cheek. “I… I always thought I was a good pony Spike. I didn’t think it would end this way.” She made her way to the middle of the room and barely holding back a sob, picked up a sharp knife that had been used earlier to cut vegetables. “I’m sorry, Spike. I have to!”

“Twilight! No!” Spike tried to lunge towards Twilight to stop her, but Twilight caught him in a beam of magic. “There’s got to be another way!”

Twilight held the knife up in her shaking hooves. “There’s not. The only reason he’s here is because of me.” She closed her eyes and took another deep breath. “This is it, Spike. I have to do this. I’m so, so sorry.”

Twilight brought the knife down.

***

Death’s Head sliced the top off the gaudily decorated store with one slash of his axe. “Hmm,” he mumbled, reaching in and pulling out a variety of objects before inspecting them one by one. “Cake, cake, cake,” he flicked each of the objects off the palm of his hand as he rejected them. “Cake, cake, Cake…”

Mr Cake screamed as Death’s Head flicked him over the horizon.

“Cake, cake, cake!” Death’s Head shook the crumbs from his gloves. “No book!” His eyes flashed with annoyance and he turned in the direction of the schoolhouse. “Perhaps they have books there. Children love learning about moths, yes?”

He was just about to carefully burn the building down, when a tiny waddling purple dragon crashed into his foot. “Not your lucky day, huh?” he intoned as he reached into his back harness for a wicked looking pike.

“Wait, wait!” Spike puffed for breath, clutching his chest and wheezing. “I was uh… I was just out for a walk when I thought, ‘What a wonderful rock that is!’ ” He pointed towards a large rock that had been placed in the middle of the town square. “See, isn’t it nice?”

If Death’s Head had eyes he would have rolled them. Instead his glowing red LEDs just flicked in annoyance. “Not really. Now, excuse me.” He hefted his flamethrower in the direction of the schoolhouse.

“I mean,” Spike continued, shouting up at the giant bounty hunter, “you were supposed to leave no stone unturned, right?”

“I suppose so,” Death’s Head grumbled. “But I can’t see what could possibly be… huh.” He flicked over the stone to reveal a tiny brown book. He picked it up, examining it in the light. The cover and spine proudly displayed the words: ‘Mandelbrot’s Moth Miscellany Volume IV’.

“Triumph!” Death’s Head punched the air, roaring out his victory for all to hear. His electronic voice echoed over mountains and forests. “Death’s Head always fulfils a contract!” His head snapped down to Spike. “And I found this, not you, yes?”

“Yes!” Spike leapt back. “Of course! It was all you!”

“I am the best!” A smug tone crept into Death’s Head’s words. “Another successful mission for Death’s Head!”

“Oh, Mr Death’s Head, have you found my book!” Twilight trotted down the street happily, smiling up at Death’s Head. “I’m so happy, here take your money!” She levitated a small purse and pushed it into the robot’s hand. “Phew, what a relief, well, all’s well that ends well!”

“Here is your book!” Death’s Head announced, grandly bending down to pass Twilight the prize. “I hope that y–”

“Yes, bye!” Twilight threw the book over her shoulder and waved at Death’s Head. “Nice meeting you, please never ever come back!”

“Hmm, well…” Death’s Head stroked his big metal chin. “Do you have any other jobs that ne – ”

“No, go away!” Twilight pointed her hoof up. “Into space or wherever it is you live! Thank you so much for all the help, it’s been so helpful, I can’t wait to read my book. This was really worth it.”

Death’s Head gave a little salute and carefully placed his precious bounty into one of his numerous pockets. “It is always a pleasure to work for royalty. Royalty that pays, yes?” With that, he tapped a button on his wrist and vanished in a whirl of electronic light.

Twilight collapsed onto the grass, wiping the sweat from her brow. “Thank Celestia that’s all over!” she gasped. “I hope the princess won’t be too angry now I sorted it all out.” Her face brightened. “Maybe I’ll get another castle out of this?”

“I… I really don’t think so.” Spike picked up the book that Twilight had discarded, passing it to her. “I’m sorry, Twilight.”

Twilight’s face fell and she looked down at the book. A choking cry caught in her throat. “I know,” she whispered sadly. “But there was no other way. I’m so, so sorry.”

In her hooves was clutched ‘Mandelbrot’s Moth Miscellany Volume V’. On the plush engraved cover, an ‘I’ had been jaggedly cut before the V on the front and spine, and hastily inked in. Twilight sighed heavily. “Now I need a new volume five as well as a volume four! It gets worse and worse, but at least that bounty hunter has gone!”

“Oh, actually you might be in luck!” Spike patted his scales and pulled out a crumpled piece of paper. “This arrived for you earlier today. It’s from a collector who said he can track down your book for you.”

“Good news at last!” Twilight snatched the letter and eagerly read it. “Yes! Yes, he sounds very keen! Write to him at once, Spike! Tell him that I need volume five as well now, and that he should scour the land and let no-one stop him!”

“I…” Spike started to run after Twilight as she headed home. “Are you sure, Twilight?”

Twilight just rolled her eyes. “Yes, Spike, I’m sure! He sounds like such a nice stallion. Works in fetlocks, I imagine.” She dropped the letter, letting it flutter to the ground for Spike to pick up.

Spike shook a claw at Twilight, and ran his eyes over the last lines of the letter again. Yes, what did he know? Twilight was probably right. It was there in black and white:

‘Yours sincerely,

Boba Fett.’

Author's Note

Many thanks for editing assistance from Nicknack, Twilightsnarkle and Filler, and a bonus thanks for Nicknack for coming up with a title!

Death's Head is a character most of you will have never heard of from the Marvel UK comics of the late 80s/early 90s. That was a wild ride! There's a gret potted history of him here: http://www.starburstmagazine.com/features/interviews/1340-simon-furman-interview-deaths-head