The Beast Inside
Written by ZekeOfTheFreaks
Fluttershy was spending her afternoon cleaning up her cottage, since her animal friends had recently gotten into a fight that caused a huge mess. She was starting to stress out, thinking that it would take forever to have everything in order. She heard a knock on her front door, so she walked to it, and opened the door. She was greeted by a content Twilight, who looked inside, and was shocked by what she saw. Twilight had been wondering why she hadn't seen Fluttershy all day, so she asked,
"What happened here, Fluttershy?"
"Oh, it's no big deal. I'm just cleaning up my cottage, like I usually do," the pegasus responded. Twilight couldn't help but feel like Fluttershy needed assistance.
"If you want, I'd be glad to give you a hoof with cleaning."
"I guess it is a little more messy than usual, even with everything I've already done."
"A little?" the alicorn replied, noticing broken glass and dirt tracks everywhere. Fluttershy looked around, and blushed.
"Okay, maybe a lot messier. Anyway, I'd really appreciate your help." Twilight smiled, and walked into the cottage, being careful to watch her step.
"So, what exactly do you need help with, Fluttershy?" Twilight asked.
"Well, I've already picked up all the trash, but all this dirt everywhere could use a bit of mopping up. Do you think you can help with that, Twilight?" Fluttershy said.
"No problem, Fluttershy." Twilight walked to the closet and opened the door to find the mop inside. She used her magic to lift it up, and started mopping up all the dirt tracks. Within about 15 minutes, all the tracks were gone. Meanwhile, Fluttershy was picking up all the shattered glass in the cottage, and organizing all her furniture. Twilight wanted to help more, so she came to Fluttershy's bookshelf. She noticed that Fluttershy had already organized her books perfectly, except for one small, green book right at the alicorn's hooves. Twilight's curiosity piqued, so she picked up the book, walked over to her friend, and asked,
"Hey, Fluttershy, I found this book on the floor. What is it?" Fluttershy turned toward her friend, and her eyes widened, and her face looked like she was about to panic.
"Twilight, please give me that book," the pegasus said, trying not to scream. Twilight could sense Fluttershy's sudden distress, and she asked,
"What's wrong? Is it something about this book? Come to think of it, I don't remember you having this book last time I was here."
"I got it last week, and I don't want anypony else reading it. It's... private."
"Private? What do you mean?" Fluttershy started to sweat, thinking of an excuse, but she couldn't think of anything, so she sighed, and said,
"If I tell you, I want you to promise me that you won't tell others about it. Can you do that?"
"Cross my heart and hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye." Twilight even performed the pinkie promise gestures to go along with it.
"Okay, well, this is my... diary." Twilight wasn't expecting to hear that her friend was keeping her own diary, especially when the Mane 6 had been keeping one together, but she understood why her friend wouldn't want to share her secrets, so she didn't bother to ask.
"It's okay, Fluttershy. There's nothing wrong with keeping a diary. I'm sure plenty of other ponies have secrets they don't want getting out."
"I know. It's just that... my secrets are really deep and dark."
"Well, I already promised not to tell anypony else, so you can always tell me what they are."
"I... I just don't know. There's some stuff in here that might make you think badly of me."
"Fluttershy, you know we're really good friends. There's nothing you can tell me that could possibly make me think any differently of you."
"Well, if you're sure about that, I guess I can tell you my secret." Twilight took a seat on the rug in the living room, and Fluttershy followed her.
"So, what's your big secret, Fluttershy?"
"Well, I've been seeing this stallion about an... issue I have."
"Issue? What do you mean?"
"I guess there's no point in trying to sugarcoat it. I... I've been told that I might be... feral." When Twilight heard those words, her heart sank. She knew that this meant that her friend had come to live the life of a wild animal. She tried to keep from looking distraught, but she never had the best poker face, so she snapped herself out of her trance, and replied,
"That's... very unnerving to hear for sure, Fluttershy, but that doesn't explain why you're keeping a diary."
"The stallion I've been seeing told me to keep a log of my feelings, in case I start to show more symptoms."
"What makes him think you might be feral?"
"Well... I told him a few things about my past, like back when I was with Rainbow Dash in the Young Flyers competition when we were both fillies. I remember when she zoomed past me, and since I have never been the best flyer, I was almost done for when I was falling. I was lucky enough to be saved by that group of butterflies. I was captured by the beauty of the woods around me, as well as the creatures. I didn't want to leave a place like this, so I decided to stay here, where I finally had some friends."
"Wait, what do you mean finally had friends?"
"You see, back when I lived in Cloudsdale, I was a laughing stock among the other ponies. They would tease me for being a weak flyer, and the only pony who ever stood up for me was Rainbow Dash. I was always scared of them. They treated me like a sad puppy, always kicking at me just because I was weak. I never made any friends because I didn't trust other ponies. How could I trust them when they were all so mean?" Twilight's eyes started to get misty as she heard this.
"That's terrible. You're one of the nicest ponies I know, so how could they treat you so badly?"
"If I knew that, I might not have left Cloudsdale at all."
"Did you at least try to make friends with other ponies on the ground?"
"I did try once, but it ended up only making me feel worse." At this point, Twilight was showing nothing but concern for her friend.
"What happened? Did another pony treat you badly as well?"
"Not exactly. But one colt did break my heart." Twilight gasped, and asked,
"He broke your heart? How?"
"I guess you deserve to know at this point. You see, the day after I fell from the clouds, I found this cottage alone and abandoned in the woods. This meant I had to be close to a town. I wanted to see if there were any nice ponies nearby, so I found my way into Ponyville, and I saw so many ponies just enjoying their day. The foals were playing together, the adults were going about their business, and everypony seemed so happy. Everypony except me, that is. I was hoping that if I walked around, I'd see somepony to talk to, but they were all so busy, I didn't want to bother them. It was when I saw a colt sitting on a bench at the park that I finally decided to talk to somepony. I trotted over to him, and asked what he was upset about. He told me that he didn't want to talk about it, but I knew he was sad, so I took a seat next to him, held his hoof, and told him that I'd listen to anything he had to say. He finally told me that his parents had gone missing, and he had nopony to live with, so he was lonely and depressed. I told him that I had just come from another town, and was also all alone, so he finally looked at me, and that's when I started to cheer up. That colt had the most amazing eyes, the handsome mane, and it turns out he was a unicorn. I had never met a unicorn before, and judging by the way he looked at my wings, I guess he never saw a pegasus before either. He told me that his name was Thought Process, and he asked if we could meet again the next day. Of course, I said yes, but it was when I returned the next day that everything was ruined." Twilight was so caught up with Fluttershy's sad story that she almost didn't notice that she had stopped talking.
"What happened to him?"
"I don't know, but I returned to the park where I met him the next day, and waited for him all day. He never showed up. I still waited, hoping that my only friend that I ever had would return. The moon finally rose before I gave up, and walked back home to the cottage, and just cried the rest of the night. I had been used to this kind of sadness, but not heartbreak. I never saw that colt again." Twilight's misty eyes had turned into a flow of tears. Suddenly, another pony knocked on the front door. Twilight dried her eyes, went to answer it, and when she opened the door, a mail carrier said,
"Letter for Ms. Fluttershy."
"Thank you, sir," Twilight replied, as she lifted the letter with her magic. The mail carrier trotted off, and Twilight walked back to her friend, and gave her the letter. Fluttershy opened the letter, and read it to herself. She dropped the letter, and quickly bolted out the front door. Twilight was shocked by her speed out the door. The letter must have been important. Her curiosity piqued again, so she decided to read it. It said,
"Your appointment with me is tonight. Make sure you tell me everything you wrote in your log, so I can help you out. Also, if you want to bring a friend, that would be great. -- Dr. Dream Reader" Twilight at least had an explanation for her friend's sudden departure, as she herself wouldn't want to be tardy. She realized that Fluttershy left her diary behind, so she found and put on a saddlebag, placed the diary in the bag, and walked out of the cottage, then took flight, as she saw Fluttershy headed for Ponyville.
Twilight eventually saw Fluttershy stop at this remote house at the edge of town. As Fluttershy knocked on the front door, Twilight came down and said,
"Hey, you left this at the cottage. I was thinking you might need it." Fluttershy had no idea how Twilight could have known that she was headed to see the stallion she mentioned, but she gladly took the diary from the saddlebag. Just then, a unicorn opened the front door and looked happy to see the two of them.
"Ah, hello Fluttershy. I see you brought a friend with you, as well. Why don't you both come in?" Fluttershy walked in, and Twilight followed her, since she wanted to know more about her friend's condition. She took a seat on the couch, next to her friend, and the unicorn stallion said,
"So you're a friend of Fluttershy's, I presume. Let me introduce myself. I'm Dr. Dream Reader, and I'm a psychologist."
"Oh, so you're the pony Fluttershy has been seeing. She told me some things about what you told her, and I have to say, I'm quite surprised," Twilight said.
"I imagine what I've told her might seem alarming, but I promise that it's completely true. Anyway, now that we've met, can you give us some time alone? I need to speak with Fluttershy in private. I'll let you know when you can come back in." Twilight walked back outside, and the door was closed. She wanted to hear more, so she placed her ear against the door, as she listened to their conversation.
"So, Fluttershy, what have you written about lately?"
"Well, I have been thinking about how the animals I live with have become like a family to me. I also wrote about how I feel shy around other ponies, except for my friends of course. Plus, my fits of rage whenever animals are harmed."
"I see. I understand that you really care about these animals a lot. However, like I said last time, living with animals, showing fear around other ponies, it all leads to the possibility that you might be feral."
"I understand, sir." Twilight stepped back from the door. She thought to herself about everything the two ponies said. She remembered how Fluttershy was scared of her, but quick to be friendly with Spike, and how she bolted into the Grand Galloping Gala, screaming 'You're going to love me!', and how she could tame the Manticore from the Everfree Forest, as well as the Orthros from the Traders' Exchange. She said to herself,
"Maybe Fluttershy is feral. Now that I mention it, she does have some animal-like tendencies. Now I'm worried." Suddenly, the door opened, and the stallion said,
"You can come back in now. I want to talk to you in private, as well."
"Oh. Sure thing, Dr. Dream Reader." Twilight walked in, as Fluttershy stepped outside.
"So, you must be Princess Twilight Sparkle. It's an honor to meet you, m'lady," the stallion said as he bowed.
"It's a pleasure. Anyway, what did you want to tell me?"
"Actually, I need to confess something to you. If you get mad from what I tell you, I won't be surprised, but I think you need to hear it."
"Is that so? Very well, what do you need me to know?"
"I imagine Fluttershy told you that when she met a young colt when she first came to Ponyville, right?"
"How did you know?"
"She told me that she told you about it. She doesn't know this, but... that colt she met... was me." Twilight's heart sank again. She knew how upset Fluttershy was from being stood up that day so long ago. Of course, as the stallion predicted, her face looked angry, and he could tell she wanted to yell at him. "Yes, I'm the same Thought Process that she met a long time ago. She doesn't even know that I'm the same pony. I even made up the name Dream Reader so she wouldn't find out. I really feel bad for standing her up all those years ago, believe me I didn't want to. I did have a good reason for it, though."
"For your sake, I hope your reason is a good one. You have no idea how much you hurt her by doing that."
"Please allow me to explain." Twilight calmed down, and took a seat. "As you know, she met me when I was sitting on the park bench, moping. She came up to me, talked to me for a bit, even held my hoof. I was happy when I finally looked at her, and saw a beautiful pegasus filly before me. I hadn't seen a pegasus pony up-close before, and she looked just as lonely as I did, so I talked with her for a while. We agreed to meet back at the park the next day, but I got terribly sick the next morning. I didn't want her to get sick like me, so I stayed at home, hoping to feel better. I wrote a letter to her, saying that I was sick, and couldn't make it, but then I realized I never got her address, so I couldn't send it. I was really upset with myself, but I knew I was only trying to help her. Anyway, I returned to the park the morning after, and waited for her to return, because maybe she thought I cared about her. She never came, not even after the moon rose. I went back home, crying to myself. I had just lost the nicest friend I had ever made." Twilight started to get misty eyes again, as his side of the story was just as sad as Fluttershy's.
"Wow, is that really true? You really left her alone just to try to keep her safe?"
"Yeah. But the part that really hits me where it hurts is that I may be the reason the became feral in the first place." Thought Process' eyes started to shed tears. "If I didn't stand her up like that, she might have learned to be friends with ponies, and not rely on animals. I could have saved her from becoming feral, and I chose to abandon her instead." The stallion's crying had turned to hysterical sobbing, and Twilight couldn't understand a word he was saying anymore.
"Look, Dr. Thought Process," she said as she walked to him, "I know you're upset about what happened, but I'm sure she would have done the same for you. She told me that she was captured by you when she finally saw your face, like you were by her. I can understand why you'd blame yourself for everything that happened to her, but I know one way to help is to tell her the truth. Tell her that you're the same colt she met way back when."
"But, what if she runs away from me for this? What if she hates me for it and never wants to see me again?"
"Trust me, you'll both end up a lot better if you tell her the truth. I'll even go with you when you tell her, if that will help."
"You will, Twilight? Thanks." The stallion started to chuckle. "It's funny, I'm the psychologist, and here you are trying to get me to clear my head." Twilight chuckled back, and Thought Process opened the door, calling back Fluttershy, who was talking to a butterfly.
"What did you find out, sir?" the pegasus mare asked.
"Actually, I need to tell you something," he replied. "I'm not the pony you think I am. My real name is... Thought Process." Fluttershy's eyes widened, and her face started puckering. Tears started to flow from her eyes, and she backed away, before she flew off, crying loudly.
"Wait! Fluttershy! He needs to tell you something!" Twilight yelled, but Fluttershy couldn't hear her.
"I knew this would happen. I'm sorry you had to be here to see that."
"It's not your fault, Doctor. It's mine. If I didn't convince you to tell her the truth, that would have never happened." The stallion could only mope, as Twilight said, "Hey, I know where she lives. I can take you there if you at least want closure."
"You'd do that for me? Even after everything I did?"
"I'd do it because of what you did. You had a good reason for what you did, and she needs to know that." The stallion's face become serious, and he replied,
"You're right, Twilight." The two then left his home, and he closed the front door behind them. "Alright, where do we go?"
"Just follow me, and I can take you there. How are you at running?"
"I can handle long-distance, but I'm no sprinter."
"Alright. I'll take to the skies, and you can follow behind me. Will that work for you?"
"That would be perfect." Twilight nodded, and took to the skies. She was now above the trees. She held her hoof out, as if to point toward Fluttershy's home, and started flying that way. Thought Process trotted behind her.
The two finally arrived at Fluttershy's cottage. Twilight looked though the window to see Fluttershy still crying. The inside of her home was clean, however, so she assumed that Fluttershy finished the cleaning job they were up to earlier.
"So this is her home?" Thought Process asked.
"Indeed it is, Doctor. I'll knock on the door, just wait behind me." The stallion stepped back, and Twilight knocked on the door. She heard Fluttershy come to the door slowly, and as Fluttershy opened the door, Twilight said,
"Fluttershy, I'm sorry about what happened."
"It's okay, Twilight. It's not your fault."
"Well, look, I brought Thought Process with me. He has something to tell you, something you'll need to hear." The pegasus mare was still upset about what she learned, but she thought he deserved a chance to explain himself, so she nodded. "Alright, Doctor, she's ready." The stallion came to the door, and walked inside. Twilight waited by the door, so the two could be alone.
"You know, Fluttershy, this is a really nice cottage."
"Thanks," Fluttershy said flatly, since she still didn't trust him.
"Look, I need to be honest with you. I know I stood you up so many years ago. I know I broke your heart. I know I was your only friend at the time, but the only reason I didn't show up that day was because I was thinking about you."
"W-what do you mean?"
"I already told Twilight everything, but you deserve to know just as much as she does." Thought Process' eyes started tearing up. "I didn't come back the next day because I got horribly sick. I was stuck in bed, I felt achy all over, and even my magic didn't work. I was worried that if I came to you in that condition, you would have gotten sick as well, and you were already feeling bad as it was. I couldn't have allowed myself to make you feel any worse than you already did. I knew it was either risk your life, or break your heart." His tears turned into a steady stream. "But because of what I did, you ended up living with animals, you never came to fully trust ponies, and you became this feral creature. It's my fault that you had to live the life of an animal, and I'll never forgive myself for that." He started sobbing uncontrollably, until Fluttershy put her hoof on his mouth. She replied,
"Is that how you really feel? All this time you've been beating yourself up just because you were thinking of me? I'm... flattered."
"Fluttershy, it was because I upset you when we were young that I decided to become a psychologist. I thought that, if I couldn't save you, at least I could help prevent other ponies from suffering the same fate." Fluttershy's tears of sorrow had become tears of joy.
"Is that true? You became a psychologist so you wouldn't make the same mistake twice?"
"Well, that was one reason. I also did in hopes that I would see you again. You see, Fluttershy, you're the most beautiful mare I have ever set eyes on." Fluttershy blushed. "I know this might sound creepy, but I can't help but think of you every day. It would mean the world to me if you would consider giving me another chance." She placed her hoof on his mouth again.
"Thought Process, I've been feeling the same way about you all these years. All I wanted was to see you again, and here we are. I also think you're one of the most handsome stallions I know. I can tell you're being honest with me, so I'd be glad to give you another chance." Both ponies were starting to cry rivers. They gave each other a kiss, and Twilight, who was watching from the window, smiled at the newly-reconciled couple, before she flew off to return to her castle.
The next day, Fluttershy was doing some gardening outside her cottage, and Thought Process showed up, looking sharply dressed.
"Oh, Thought Process. You look fantastic! What's the occasion?"
"Oh, I was just coming from the Carousel Boutique, where your friend Rarity was generous enough to make this suit for me. I came here, hoping you'd be so kind as to have lunch with me."
"Lunch with you?" Fluttershy smiled as she continued, "Nothing would make me happier."
"That's great to know, because I already reserved a place for the two of us at this new restaurant in town."
"Oh, Thought Process, you really know how to make a mare feel great."
"Anything for you, my dear Fluttershy." Fluttershy quickly went back inside, and put her tools away. She came back out in a modest green dress.
"Well, I'm ready to go." Thought Process smiled, as the two of them trotted away, and they shared another kiss.