Wanna know what sucks? Being trapped in stone. It's a fate worse than death, as far as I'm concerned. The only thing keeping me sane is "talking" with my friend who is always right next to me.
'Hey Discord look, a tour group!" I said. He's the only person who can hear me.
"Hm, oh yes I see," he replied. The tour group consisted of one adult pony, and the rest were children. The adult led her group in front of our statues. Once the kiddies were gathered around, she began speaking.
"This creature is called a Draconoques," she said. Figures. No one ever talks about me. "He has a head of a pony, and a body made of all sorts of things. What do you suppose that means?" This little yellow filly with red hair and a bow spoke up.
"Confusion!" she yelled. 'Wrong!' I thought.
"Evil!" cried a white unicorn. 'What an idiot' I thought.
"Now now, let's not be rude," said Discord. It sucks that he can hear ALL my thoughts. I can never just think in private.
"Chaos!" yelled an orange pegasus with a purple mane. 'Bingo' I thought. Then the three fillies started arguing, and then started a comedic brawl.
"Actually, in a way you're all correct. This statue represents Discord, a lack of harmony between things," said the teacher.
"What's this ugly one?" asked this light blue pony waring a tiara.
"What did you say you little-!" I yelled before the teacher started talking again.
"Hm, I actually don't know. I don't see a description anywhere."
"WHAT! how dare that sun assed b**** not give me a plaque! I represent Chaos! I represent the overthrow of society! I am PROFESSOR CHAOS!" I yelled as loud as I could. But, unfortunately, only Discord could hear me.
"Now now Proffessy, there's no need to be jealous. Besides, I have some good news," said Discord.
"What?" I asked.
"The chaos caused by those three fillies has given me the power I need to escape! And once I'm free, I'll be able to free YOU as well!"
"What! YES! Thank you Jesus!" I yelled.
"Now, sit back and watch the magic happen!" Then, Discords statue started to crack, and glow. There was an explosion, and then he was free.
"Ahh, It's good to be back!" he said, stretching and popping his joints.
"Excellent! Now free me!" I said.
"Of course," said Discord. With a snap of his fingers, my statue began to crumble. Once I was free, I too stretched, and flexed my muscles. Then I started floating a few feet above the ground.
"Alright, now that we're free, I say se fall back and come up with a plan," I stated.
"Actually, I already have a plan," replied Discord.
"Alright, I'm in."
"No. You see, I can't risk us BOTH being turned to stone again. That's why you need to lay low for now."
"What! No way man, I want in on the action!" Discord put his paw on my shoulder, and looked me in the eyes.
"If I get turned to stone again, you'll be able to cause enough chaos to free me again."
"Arg...fine," I said as I began to rise higher into the air. "At least TRY to take this seriously." With that, I flew away from Canterlot, putting as much distance between myself and that wretched city as possible.
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And...finished! I finally finished sewing my costume. You see, I'm going to Comicon. I'm a big South Park fan, and I decided to go as Butters alter ego; Professor Chaos. I sewed the cape, and tunic myself. I used cardboard, and tinfoil for the armor. I was just about to leave when I heard the doorbell ring.
"Who could that be?" I asked myself. I walked up to the door and opened it. Standing in the doorway was a UPS deliveryman.
"Whoa, uh...are you Dan Letterman?" he asked. I nodded. He handed me a clipboard to sign. I jotted my signature, and he handed me the box. "Have a good day."
"Uh, you too," I replied. I went back inside, and set the box on my dinner table. I reached into my pocket, and opened my pocket knife. I cut the tape, and opened the box. Inside was, well, it looked like a necklace. There was a red gem, with feathery wings on each side. There was a head sprouting from the gem. It actually looked like a decent piece of villain jewelry.
"Hmm...oh, what the hell!" I said, putting it around my neck. I noticed it felt a little warm. Oh whatever, I grabbed my car keys and drove off to the convention.
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Let me tell you, I was sweating in my costume, but once I got inside the convention center, I instantly felt cooled off. 'Well, let's see what this place has to offer!' I thought. I spent my time walking around, watching some panels, buying stuff from booths, blah blah blah. I was just leaving a panel when something tapped me on the shoulder. I turned around, and saw a big fat guy with a neck beard. He had a black hat on, and a black shirt with a picture of a dark blue horse on his shirt. It said; 'Luna is best princess.'
"Oh god, a brony,' I thought. I don't have anything against the show, or its fans, but these stereotypical fanatics piss me off. All they do is reference the show and ask you if you're a member of 'The Herd.'
"Yeah?" I asked.
"Hey man, where did you get that Alicorn Amulet?" he asked.
"What's that?" I asked.
"Oh come on, you're a brony right?"
"No," I said loudly so eavesdroppers knew that I was NOT a brony.
"That's a replica from 'My Little Pony," he said pointing to my necklace. I took a look at it.
"This? This got delivered to my house. I thought it looked cool, so I put it on."
"Can I see it?" he asked.
"You can have it," I said. No way I'm going to wear something from My Little Pony. I grabbed the chain and tried to unhook it. For some reason, it wouldn't come off. And it was feeling kind of hot. I tried grabbing and yanking it off, but it wouldn't break. "It won't come off!" I yelled. The amulet was starting to burn my chest. "Get this offa' me!" I fell to my knees. The brony was calling for help. I started feeling lightheaded, and the amulet felt like a hot oven. Then my vision started to fade. Then, all I saw was black.
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I slowly began to stir from my unconsciousness. I felt these...fibers brushing against my skin. I also felt a cool breeze blow against me. I opened my eyes and saw blue sky's above me. I sat myself up and put my hand against my head. That's when I felt my helmet. It wasn't tinfoil anymore. It felt like actual metal. I took it off and examined it. It was real metal, nice and sturdy. I put it back on my head. I decided to check the rest of my costume. Then my heart jumped. My body, my arms and legs! They were HUGE! My arms were extremely muscled, and so was the rest of my body. I felt my chest, and at that point, I realized that my necklace was gone.
"What is going on?" I asked myself. But my voice! It sounded high and childish. Just like Butters!
"Oh great! No ones going to be able to take me seriously with a voice like this!" I cried. A giant muscle guy with a little kids voice is just ridiculous! OK, so for some reason I look and sound just like Professor Chaos. What now? Well, I'm in a creepy looking forest, with no idea how I got here. Well, I guess I should find civilization. I picked a random direction and started walking.