Civilization Eradication

by monkeylegs

Rating: everyone
Tags: Comedy, Random, Pinkie Pie, Crossover, Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Other
Length: 1873

The Grox. They are a species of red aliens with cybernetic implants, they have made an empire of planets and feel only hate. Well, that, and laughter. Actually, laughter is their emperor, or 'empress' as you might say.

The Grox. They are a species of red aliens with cybernetic implants, they have made an empire of planets and feel only hate. Well, that, and laughter. Actually, laughter is their empress. This is the story of the daily life of the pink empress of a gigantic evil alien empire, and along the way, the destruction of several civilizations. Beware: Within this story is a twist. No, not a plot twist. No one needs to read anything about Twist's plot.

Published 2014-05-25 21:50:05 UTC
Last updated 2014-06-03 02:11:45 UTC

Day One - Average day, Another War, Routine Life

The mare yawned, her right eye opening as her left eye simply turned red and glowed, adding a red shine to the metal around it. She looked around: There was a window, through that window was space. Yes, the cold dark void of space. Okay. There was also a lava lamp. Why a lava lamp is on a space-ship, the world may never know. Yes, Pinkie Pie was, indeed, in a space ship in space. She also happened to be a cyborg. The idiot who is writing this doesn't feel like explaining any of this, so please feel free to be annoying about it in the comment section, thank you.

She slowly got up, stretching her hooves and other pony-body parts. One of her back hooves was made of metal, the eye and leg duo making her an honorary cyborg.
The room had a soft, plush pink carpet along with welcoming soft pastel blue walls. As she walked through the door, however, the walls were a dark grey metal, and so was the floor. The entire hallway was made of dark grey metal. She didn't seemed phased by this, and trotted through the hallway, waving at a small, impish red creature with large green eyes and several robotic implants on the eye, abdomen, right arm and right leg, that simply made a small, short, glitchy computerized noise.

Pinkie walked through one last door, reaching a gigantic room with walls made of purely a thick, glass-like material, which seemed like what the window in the earlier room was. Through the 'glass', space in general could be seen. Millions of stars and planets, along with many meteors and- A small, rusty-red spaceship was nearing the front of the ship as Pinkie walked over to a padded chair, sitting down. Well, it LOOKED small, at least. It was actually fairly huge. But, comparatively, it was small. Pinkie was sitting in the middle of a pretty darn big room. Dozens, if not hundreds of the small little red creatures were in the room, walking and talking to eachother, pressing buttons in organized patterns and screaming at this one who keeps whistling.

As the small red ship slowed to a rate near Pinkies' big ship's rate, most of the thick glass became covered with a live-video of bipedal, two-legged creature wearing a rusty-red cape and a rediculous looking hat. As nearly all of the red creatures, known as the Grox, looked up at the video, strange, feminine though echoed voice saying un-readable words as the mouth of the creature moved. Text in strange, grox-language symbols appeared along with the voice, translated into english it is read:

'Grox Empire, the Holy Empire of Vynxik declare war upon your solar system- er, solar systems! Too long have you denied Spode,'

"Ugh, not another one of these religious flank-holes.." Pinkie said, under her breath,

'We have prepared our religious ships to convert your people...blahblahblah Spode blahblahblah Grox blahblahlah Religions blahblahblah Zealot blahblah.'

Pinkie almost fell asleep when it was finished, and she began to talk:

"Vynxik Empire, The Grox have over 400,000,000 solar systems at this time. That's trillions and trillions of grox. Do you not understand how many empires have died under our feet? You are no different, just your average annoying zealot race. Along with that, we have billions of Insectrox, Mites, and Dronox, that are to be sent to your home system. We look forward to eradicating your civilization. Thank you, come again please! On Friday we have a sale on hatred."

Pinkie turned off the short-range communication system, sighing that she has to destroy another empire. Chances are, it's gas giants are uninhabitable, and therefore useless. Some gas giants, however, have some solid ground underneath that gigantic ton of atmosphere. Those gas giants have Grox colonies, and they help keep the Grox empire going. How? White Spice. Trillions of years ago, the Grox ran out of oil and such fuels. They ended up having to run on solar power, wind power, and other renewable sources. By the time they'd reached the space stage, the cybernetic implants used up energy to the point where the weakness and habit to turn off made the cybernetic implants horribly useless. Soon, however, they discovered white spice. White spice is an amazing energy source, a box of it giving off hundreds of watts. However, it can only be found in the atmospheres, or in the ground, of gas giants. Very very rarely, in normal planets. Due to gas giants being T-0 and not terraformable, no species can survive on them. Besides the grox, who have harnessed this energy to power their ships, cities and own people. That, and when mixed with red and purple spice, it makes a mighty cupcake.

Turning to a nearby grox, Pinkie loudly said, "Zlydix, send the insectrox, mites, and dronox from the Nifico 13-B star system to the Vynxik Empire homeworld. We're gonna use em' to blow em' up."

The grox, named Zlydix, made several strange noises translating into, 'Yes, Empress.'. It was obviously apparent that Pinkie Pie was the ruler of the Grox Empire, called Empress Pie.

She sat, boredly looking around space, until her mind began to wander.

By the time Zlyndix returned, Pinkie had discovered that 934758349646743 x 439679 - 395276 - 4868376 - 4564365968748679438573867348 x 938535678498476749304697974684576 + 4987348763846 = -4.2838203e+60. She noticed the grox, and asked, "Zlyndix, the insectrox, mites and dronox have been sent to the enemy homeworld?"

"Yes, Empress Pie. We have also discovered it holds a habitable gas giant."

"YAY! WHITE SPICE!" She noticed half the room staring at her, "...Get back to work."

Zlyndix and the rest of the grox walked through the ship, talked, and pressed buttons on strange machines. One of them stood up, walked over to the grox that wouldn't stop whistling, and slapped him/her. Afterwards, Pinkie didn't hear anymore whistling.

She slowly got bored, and began to drift off and fall asleep. At the last moment, however, a loud warning alarm waked her. The grox frantically ran back and forth, yelled at eachother and rapidly pressed buttons and looked at screens.

They were being attacked by the Yynxik Empire.

Through the walls, she could see thousands of large rusty-red fighter ships pounding at the grox mothership, until the windows had broken. She couldn't breathe, but right before she died, she woke up.

"AHHHHHHHHHHH!" She yelled, falling off the chair. She looked around frantically, seeing that the entire room and Twist were staring at her. "Uhm.." She looked to the grox workers, "Don't you all have something to do?!"The mare said, glaring at them, and they continued working.

She looked at Twist, and sat up. "So... uhm.. How's Gummy doing in the Royal Alligater Chambers?" she said, looking at twist.

"Oh, he'z doing gweat! The gwox fed him a bunch of weird awien mweat wif some wed spice!" Twist replied, showing an obvious lisp.

"Grea- Wait." Pinkie said, various parts of her vibrating wildly. "A POT IS ABOUT TO FALL ON TWILIGHT!" Pinkie ran into the Royal Bedroom, not even taking a moment to stare at the lava lamp. A strange portal opened, and she jumped through.

"TWILIGHT! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" The purple alicorn found herself being thrown to the side by a panicking Pinkie Pie, until a potted plant fell on the floor.

"That was close. Well, Twilight, I have to go eradicate this civilization. Their a bunch of religious zealots who won't shut up about Spode. They declared war on the Grox Empire, which I happen to be the empress of, Alongside Twist, so I need to go murder their civilians and burn their homes. I think they have a gas giant that has white spice. Seeya!" With that, the fluffy earth pony hopped away, twilight just staring at her with a confused face.

"...Did she just say something about murdering civilians and burning their homes?" Twilight blinked.

Author's Note

Any time that Pinkie is being OOC, is mainly because zealots are annoying and she likes to sound remotely professional while blowing up empires.

Day Two - Parking A Boy

Pinkie sighed. The mare was sitting on a different chair, it honestly looked more like a throne. No longer was she in the Milkomeda Way Galaxy. She was in IC 342, a galaxy hidden to nearly every astronomer in the Milkomeda Way, the planet she was on was Skorg, the Grox Homeworld. However, the colonies in Milkomeda allowed her to communicate with other empires. Suddenly, one of those communications popped up. It showed a video of a wall along with text, looking like a normal communication besides the fact that no one is there.

Pinkie blinked and confusedly looked at the video, trying to see how and why something that didn't even exist was talking. She glanced at the empire name: 'Zook Empire'.

"Yitz, what is the Zook Empire and why is it communicating with us?!" The pink empress said, stopping a passing grox.

"The Zook Empire is a high-tech empire made up of.. Really.. little... creatures. Their really cute, but also really weak. Their protected by a treaty that makes any visitors have to get permission to land, to keep from stepping on anyone. Their leader is currently angerly yelling at us because that pack of insectrox won't stop stepping on their citizens and one of the mites is attacking their planes on a tower." Yitz said, rather matter-of-factly.

"Oh yeaaaaaaaah... I remember that. Thank you, now go continue what your doing before Zax rips your arm off. A grox chosen as the military commander would probably do that."

"Oh..uhm, okay, your highness." Yitz said, speed-walking out of the room and into the rest of the city, before she trips over an orange cat, a pod of hatchlings quickly scolding the cat, named 'Fluffy'.

Pinkie ignored this and looked at the screen, noticing how at the bottom of the video, you could barely see a small, fluffy blue creature with an 'eye stalk', featuring two eyes sticking out of the fluff. It didn't have any visible arms, although they may be hidden in the fluff, which seemed to take up most of the body. A few seconds afterwards, it zoomed in so the 'zook' actually took up space.

"....But... The insectrox actually fai-" Pinkie stopped when a large foot nearly stepped on the zook, barely missing as it passed.

As she attempted not to laugh, she continued: "Eh..Your planet has red spice, so I guess I probably shouldn't really care. Although, if you find yourselves unable to defeat the insectrox and end up all dying, I'll terraform it and shove on some colonies. But really, it was those 'groxists' you have on your planet that made me notice it, so you might want to blow them up or something. Really, that weird cult is everywhere now, its annoying. Back on topic: What exactly is your opinion on cornflakes?"

Author's Note

I may or may not be a huge fan of Parkaboy. Actually, I am a huge fan of Parkaboy. But, yeah, zook are by Parkaboy. Same with the bauder and their gate, along with lots of other awesome creatures.