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“Spike, are you even listening to me?”
“Whuzzat?” the drake snapped his head up sharply, neck cracking as he did so. He rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly with one taloned hand, his violet mentor looming over him as he tried to blink off the sleep. The kitchen table simply wasn’t meant for comfort.
“I’ve asked you twice now, Spike,” Twilight sighed in exasperation, shooing him up. “I said, please check the mail. Didn’t you get any sleep last night?”
His cheeks burned a little at the memory, and he unconsciously wiped a bit of drool from his lip with his elbow. Spike most certainly did not get any sleep the night previously. Just the thought of Twilight bucking and sensually moaning in her sleep made him feel seriously uncomfortable, especially for as long as the unicorn had acted as an impromptu mother for him. It made things just a little odd.
“I’m going, I’m going,” Spike grumbled wearily, running a hand over his vibrantly green frills. For some reason the dratted things were standing straight up, and refused to stay down no matter how hard he plastered them to his head. They might as well have had a life of their own, and there was simply nothing more that he could do about it.
Then again, Twilight would probably offer to help with magic again. But after the last incident in which Spike spent a week with pink frills, he didn’t really consider it an optimal idea.
“Spike!”
“What?” he blinked the moment he laid his hand on the door handle.
“Put on some clothes first!” Twilight groaned, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.
He unwillingly snagged a spare shirt from his room, jamming it forcefully on as he tramped back downstairs. It was too hot for so much clothing, the summer made all of his clothes stick to his body. Surely Twilight must have been having the same problem – she had been looking much more flustered as of late, picking and peeling awkwardly at her clothes when she thought that he wasn’t looking.
The morning sun shone brightly overhead, garishly lighting up all of Ponyville with an unwelcome light. At least, to Spike; everypony else in town seemed to be much more chipper.
He muttered under his breath again, rifling through the mailbox for a minute. It took several pats against the bare bottom until he realized that he was reaching for mail that wasn’t actually there.
Spike grunted again, stuffing his hands into his pockets. He would have made back for the sanctity of the library’s shade had he not been interrupted by a dull thunk.
He whirled in surprise on the spot, gawking at the grey mailmare leaning against the mailbox, clearly out of breath. She grinned widely at him, her bright yellow eyes almost drawing his attention from just how hard she seemed to be trying to pretend that she hadn’t crashed into it.
The pegasus ruffled her wings, waving cheerfully at him even wider than previously before ransacking her hefty brown bag slung over one shoulder.
“Heyya, Spike!” Derpy beamed at him, leaning in close over the mailbox and unknowingly causing her chest to hang over it. He forcefully directed his gaze upward, nodding to her and desperately trying not to look at the rather voluptuous expansion that drew in his eyes like a black hole.
“Mail!” he replied far too loudly, shaking his head. “Uh, mail, mail. Right. I mean… hey, Derpy.”
Spike leaned against the mailbox as well, failing to appear as nonchalant as he would have liked. The panting pegasus didn’t seem to notice, however, which Spike was grateful for.
“How’s it going?” she passed him a couple of parcels, which he tried to keep his attention on instead.
“Oh, you know,” Spike tried to sound casual. “Same ol, same ol’. Thanks for the mail. Anything good?”
“You never know,” she winked at him, her already large grin slowly forming into a smirk. “Just about any mail is good. I just love the feel of a big… heavy… package in my hands,” Derpy leaned even further over the mailbox, the tops of her breasts nearly bulging out of her uniform. Spike realized just how close she had gotten to him, how her light scent of blueberry muffins wafted over to him, just over something… else. It made the burning in his chest a little hotter, impossible to ignore.
“Is… is that so,” he cleared his throat, and Derpy seductively whispered into his ear.
“Want me to carry that package for you?”
“OKAY THAT’S GREAT THANKS DERPY BYE,” Spike spun on the spot, heart pounding wildly in his ears as he slammed the library door shut behind him, leaving a very confused Derpy behind.
No! Stupid! Go back, go back! She’s hitting on you dammit, go back raaaaaaaaaaaagh!
“What took so long?” Twilight poked her head around curiously from the kitchen, holding a cup of steaming coffee in one hand as her other gripped the doorframe.
“O-oh, uh,” Spike replied ineloquently. “Just, ha, just talking! You know me, talky talky talky talk!”
“Uh huh,” she deadpanned. “Your frills are standing up again. Anything in the mail?”
Spike absentmindedly fingered his frills, which were indeed so stiff that he could have easily compared them to the wooden walls. Partially because the look Twilight was giving him really, really made him wish that he could blend in with them.
“The mail, Spike,” Twilight huffed, and he yanked his hand away from his head to fork it over. She frowned when she peered more closely at a single bright white envelope, dropping the rectangular packages onto the table.
“What’s wrong?” Spike asked as Twilight ripped open the mail, dropping into the seat opposite of her after grabbing some of the freshly brewed coffee for himself.
“We’ve got a problem,” she replied quietly as she read, shaking her head.
“… Well, what is it?” he said expectantly when she did not elaborate.
“That depends.” Twilight folded the paper very carefully and stuck it inside her shirt. He hadn’t noticed before just how conservative her clothing always was, and the mailmare instantly came to mind. Even her skirts were long and plain, unlike the short one that Derpy wore. Panting, just nearly out of breath as she was. Hot and sweaty from the morning sun, leaning sensually over the mailbox and calling out temptingly to him, drawing him to her with a burning need, pleasurably-
“What?” Spike blinked, ringing in his ears as he was jerked cruelly from his daydream.
“Pay attention!” Twilight scowled. “This is really important, Spike!”
“Sorry, sorry!” he held up his hands, looking away awkwardly. Those thoughts didn’t usually crop up concerning Twilight, and he didn’t need them now.
“It’s fine,” she sighed. “I just need to know if you’ve been experiencing any strange symptoms lately.”
“No,” he lied immediately. “No, nope. Nothing, no strange symptoms lately, none at all.”
“Nothing?” Twilight asked suspiciously.
“Not even a little,” Spike went on with the same false confidence. “Everything’s normal. I feel fine. In fact, I feel great, even.”
“Is-is that so…” She rubbed her chin thoughtfully, furrowing her brows.
“Sure,” he felt a tiny bit guilty, but considered the alternative possibly worse. “So, uh, why do you ask?”
Spike tapped his fingers together, trying not to look guilty. For a few seconds, he almost felt that the unicorn could read his thoughts. If that was the case, he was certain that things could get very awkward, very quickly.
“Oh, I’m positive that it’s nothing to worry about,” Twilight chuckled with a hint of relief. “Just a letter from the princess.”
“… In the mail?” he pried curiously as she stood, and Spike did the same, leaving his coffee untouched.
“I was skeptical at first as well,” she nodded, seizing the other couple of packages. “It’s probably just unfounded worry, no need to panic.”
Now that Twilight was telling him not to panic, Spike suddenly found himself panicking much more than he would have if she hadn’t said anything at all.
“What’s the big deal then?” Spike inquired.
“Well,” Twilight shifted uncomfortably. “Since you don’t seem to have been affected yet, I don’t suppose it can hurt. It’s really just some tidbits from the princess about dragon mating seasons, you know. Things like-like that.”
Spike could tell from the way she refused to look at him and the blush in her cheeks that she was hiding something, but he couldn’t quite put his finger on it.
“Oh, yeah.” He shrugged, trying to appear as if he wasn’t interested and only managed to look very, very fascinated instead as he peered at her mail. “So, why are you so freaked about ‘dragon mating seasons’, or whatever?”
“Well,” Twilight answered uneasily as she tried to slip upstairs away from him, concealing her packages. “I guess that depends. If nothing out of the ordinary happens, that’s fine… but if anypony starts acting, er… strangely around you, come let me know, alright?”
Spike frowned and crossed his arms, mind abuzz as he failed to discover just what she was hiding from him, and why.
“Of course!” he nodded. “Anything out of the ordinary, yada yada yada.”
Twilight snapped her fingers with her free hands, her face lighting up.
“Hey!” she said with a forced smile. “Why don’t you go talk to Rarity for a little while, see if anything’s out of the ordinary over-over there? Hmm?”
Now he knew that she was trying to hide something from him, and from the way she was continuously trying to cover the packages with her body, Spike could guess that she didn’t want him in the house.
“Yeah, sure thing…” he nodded again, suspicion growing. “I’ll go now, see you later Twilight!”
Spike didn’t wait another moment before darting out the door, making sure that it closed loudly behind him. Wanted to hide things from him, did she?
We’ll just see about that. Time for a little detective work…
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Twilight sighed in relief, wiping a bead of sweat from her brow. She didn’t think that the drake would ever leave. As much as she loved Spike, sometimes he could be a serious pain.
She glanced out the window quickly, spotting no sight of the drake anywhere. She swiftly pulled the window shades closed, tiptoeing upstairs on her hooftips even though she was home alone. Her hands were already trembling from the excitement, and she knew that she couldn’t wait any longer.
Twilight tossed one package and the letter callously onto her writing desk, feverishly tugging off the tape from the other brown paper wrapped bundle. She bit her lower lip as the bright green rubbery tip peeked out, the stallionhood imitation almost winking happily at her.
“He~llo,” Twilight greeted the bouncing lime dildo in anticipation. “Ooh, I’ve waited for you for such a long time. We’re going to have some fun at home alone today, aren’t we?”
She tugged the rest of the weighty thing out of the box, letting it rest coolly in her hands. It was so much larger than the ad had claimed it would be; or maybe it was just her imagination. Twilight was already picturing just how it was going to fit – or, rather, how it might not. With such a long rod, Twilight wondered if she could even fit it halfway inside. She distractedly touched her bare bottom, thankful that Spike hadn’t noticed that she wasn’t wearing anything beneath her skirt.
Twilight would probably have a while, since the drake tended to meander around Rarity to take up as much time as possible. The letter from the princess was pushed to the back of her mind; it could wait. She, on the other hand, could not.
Twilight carefully peeled off her shoes, slipping out of them and gracelessly tumbling onto the bed. The bright morning sunlight trickling in cast a warm pool over her, and she let out a shaky breath as she spread her legs. She could almost imagine that she was spreading herself for Celestia herself, that the warmth of the sun’s kiss was caressing her thighs and sidling powerfully upward to her exposed clit.
She hadn’t realized that she was still holding her breath, and she drew back her skirt a little more and raised her hips a bit, taking a good look at herself as she basked in the light. The floppy green end of the stallionhood replica danced back and forth teasingly over her slit, guided loosely by her shaking hand.
“Ahh~h! He~re we go,” Twilight breathed, the tip pushing hotly inside. She hissed in pleasure as it slid inside, almost scalding. The package must have been in the sun for a while, because nearly the entire thing was boiling in her hands.
But that couldn’t have been right, it was so cool a moment ago…
Twilight’s heartbeat slammed in her ears as her first thoughts went to magical meddling, and she squealed in pleasure as the rod hooked against her insides. What if the princess herself were interfering with her special time alone? That was completely impossible, right?
Twilight didn’t think she could bear it if Celestia knew just who held her in her thoughts and why, and her face burned with the very notion as she plunged the thick stallionhood inside herself again. The rounded end of the dildo reached too far, and she let out a little cry of surprised pain as the stinging refused to go away. She chewed her lower lip, moaning in ecstasy as the hot, stiff schlong was ever so slowly tugged out; tantalizingly, teasingly slowly, just as her fingers circled her wet clit. So close, and yet…
Twilight gasped loudly as it finally fell out, and she allowed herself to fall back to the bed tiredly. It was exhausting, the way her muscles clenched up from holding herself in that position. And she still hadn’t even reached climax yet!
Determinedly, Twilight spread her legs again, balancing one socked foot over the edge of the bed. She stuck her tongue between her teeth, sliding the tricky stick just over her hole once again-
-just in time to look up to see a very, very stunned familiar face clinging for dear life just outside the window.
“SPIKE!”
Spike did not remain clinging to the side of the house for much longer, as evidenced by the shouts as he landed.
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