Sleipniiir's ugly face kills everyone

by System Breaker

Rating: mature
Tags: Random, Pinkie Pie, Human, Twilight Sparkle, Applejack, Gore, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Rainbow Dash, Rarity, Sex, Comedy
Length: 1099

Lord Emil creates an apocalypse by doing things with Big McIntosh and then everyone dies because Sleipniiir is so ugly.

Lord Emil creates an apocalypse by having oral sex with Big McIntosh and then everyone dies because Sleipniiir is so ugly.

JOKE STORY!

Published 2014-05-25 23:10:03 UTC
Last updated 2014-05-25 23:10:03 UTC

It's The End Of The World As We Know It

Author's Note

AUTHORS NOTE
Nopony was hurt in the making of this Fanfiction
All rights reserved to Lord Emil, and his gigantic rooster
Lord Emil’s Donation Page: http://goo.gl/hp5NKk

Also, I regret nothing

It's The End Of The World As We Know It

"Fanfic by DoomPie Network #1.5

PROLOGUE

Lord Emil whipped out his glorious sausage, it was four inches in diameter, and 15 inches in length. Big McIntosh's mouth made an ‘O,’ his lips curling slightly at their termination. He had never before seen such an immaculate sausage. Lord ‘MC Girth’ Emil inched his tantalizing sausage closer to Big Mac's eager mouth.

Neither of them could have imagined the TERRIBLE CONSEQUENCES. CONSEQUENCES THAT WOULD BE LETHAL.

ON THE MOON

War, war never changes, it had consumed our home, a war fought by foreign aggressors. everypony got naked and started fucking each other wildly with no mercy. Everyone ended up getting STDs or impregnated. All the babies died of exploding. I killed many of these ponies. Heads filled with whipped cream, what do I feel, what do I say, fuck you it all goes away. Fuck the pain away, fuck the pain away. That’s what they did all night long.

Everyone’s penises began to inflate. Then they exploded and everyone had hot dogs.

What do I feel, what do I say, in the end it all goes away.

This was the world everyone came to know. As reproduction came to a halt, those that were left either had to learn from the sins of the progenitors, or die all the same. Few choose not to engage in intercourse, as one of the most common STDs, pony-aids, had the interesting side-effect of a perpetual orgasm.

The ponies became complacent. all of them, all but one...

9 MONTHS EARLIER.

Fluttershy, AppleJack, and Rainbow Dash stood around an innocuous headstone. The headstone of Carl the Corn Farmer. They collectively shook their heads, wondering why there was a fucking corn farmer alive, buried in a hole in the ground while wearing assless chaps and clown makeup.

As the trio continued on through the Ponyville cemetery and circus emporium. Twilight’s statue loomed over the nearing hills. AppleJack removed her tattered stetson and sat down beneath the statue. She began to slowly rub herself on the fun center. Rainbow Dash shot her in the face with a Mossberg, splattering AJ’s grey matter all over the Twilight Statue’s plaque.

It read: “Twilight sparkle died of ovarian cancer and shit which she contracted from a massive orgy with her friends.” Rainbow dash cackled, “MY SWEET REVENGE WILL BE YOURS FOR THE TAKING, IT’S IN THE TAKING, IT’S IN THE MAKING BABEY! WE’LL MAKE ALL THE BABIES!”

Prologue 2

Jesus was hungry. He grabbed a leg of horse and began to stuff it in his mouth, chewing like he had never chewed on anything before, which he had, like, five minutes before when he was hungry before this. "I will kill you all with sexy time Mc’ Fee” Said Lord Emil

“I’m sorry Jesus, but it’s time to die”, said Andy the atheist from Toy Story down the street. Andy whipped out his dick and started doing a helicopter. He slowly lifted off of the ground and then exploded into ketchup which formed into a train and began to dance. The dancing train suddenly fell over screaming “MY TUBA!” Rainbow dash landed on the fallen ketchup train.

“Take that Phillis!” she shouted, growing a mustache from her nose.

I'm going off the rails on the Fucked up train - Fucked up Train Masters

“I'ma play my saxaphoney” said Eric Clapton. Pinkie Pie came in on a flying NES cartridge that said “THAT ONE GAME YOU USED TO PLAY WHEN YOU WERE STONED OFF YOUR BALLS” and chopped off Eric’s head with a machete made of cottage cheese. Rainbow Dash flew over to Pinkie who dropped her machete and grabbed Rainbow Dash by the mane, yanking her in and shoving each other’s tongues into the other’s mouth. Tito, the dancing ketchup train stood up and flew off with his head flapping side to side.Then Emil found his GF, Angela, and made out with her in the middle of class. “OH YEAH” Then she got pregnant with the child of Shining Armor.

Then Emil found his GF Angela, and made out with her in the middle of class for the second time in two paragraphs. Jesus came surfing in for da booty, but Andy the Atheist came up behind jesus and ate his left leg right off of him. Lord Emil’s dick bursted out of his jeans, clothes-lining the unsuspecting atheist. Angela started to suck it so hard, then got on top of him, just then, Jesus started to hit Angela in the arse with Andy’s arm, and Emil killed Jesus with a turkey sandwich. Pinkie pie then came all over everyone.

Rarity shot up out of bed in a cold sweat her vagina burning like a crab with herpes. Apple Jack was under the blankets, pleasuring the burning pussy of Rarity. That would explain the crabs that were soaking the already wet sheets. Then Lord Emil came back in pony form, and was behind Rarity *winky face*. He stuck his massive throbbing 100% all beef thermometer (Perfect for anal) into her asshole, going straight up until it came out of her mouth. The DNA Rifle was too big, so Rarity split in half. He started waving it around until it hit Applejack in the face, breaking her jaw like a concrete condom.(He uses Trojan Max, extra long is still not long enough, so he has them custom made, it costs him thousands of dollars a month to get them made and delivered, so he has a paypal where he can get donations.) Twilight woke up and looked over at her guest bed. She grabbed an AK-47 out from inside her spleen and started shooting while screaming “GET OUT OF MY HOUSE YOU DONKEY-FACED DONKEY WITH THE FACE OF A DONKEY!!” Lord Emil got out a .950 jdj rifle, and activated his bullet-proof ballsack which formed into a chicken in front of him.. He then shot Twilight in the face with the one inch caliber bullet, proceeding to shoot her again afterwards in the uterus, causing her arms to fall off. James walked in, and asked what was going on, then was like “OMFG, Twilight is best pony!” so Emil shot James in the head. Then Slipniir walked in, and yelled “OMFG is that a .90 jdj rifle?!” then he killed everyone with his ugly face.

THE END