Dealing with Derps and Dinos

“Omigosh, omigosh, omigosh” Rainbow nervously sputtered out as her hooves involuntarily jittered around below her.

She paced back and forth, in circles and zigzagged lines around Twilight’s corpse.

Twilight laid limp, slumped over on one side as a mixture of blood and magic seeped from her tear ducts. Her mouth hung open and her tongue drooped sloppily out of her mouth. The saliva mixed with the magic and blood in the red dirt. Derpy was obviously confused.

“What happened Rainbow?” she asked innocently.

“What happened” Rainbow snapped. “What happened was you showed up at the wrong time and killed my best friend”!

Derpy’s befuddled gait formed itself into a frown.

“I’m sorry Rainbow” she apologized. “I—“

“You’re sorry!” the hotheaded Pegasus interrupted. “Derpy! Of all the things that you’ve messed up, this is the… the…” she struggled to find the words. “… the Derpiest” she concluded.

Derpy watched as Rainbow walked her panic attack over to her recently deceased comrade. She stroked her forehooves.

“Please wake up Twi,” she pleaded. “Please”. Not a response. “Dear Celestia! Why!” she cried out.

“Is there anything I can do to help Rainbow?” Derpy asked.

Rainbow shot a piercing glare towards the ditzy grey Pegasus and sped over on fleeting wings. She raised a hoof to strike her. Derpy recoiled. Rainbow brought her hoof back down to her side.

“You’re not even worth the effort” Dash spat as she returned to the lifeless unicorn’s side.

“I—“ Derpy stammered. “I don’t understand”.

“Her magic must not have been strong enough” Dash reasoned through her sniffles. “She said that if she teleported any more than two ponies, one of us could wind up hurt”.

There was a silence for a moment as terrifying creatures roared and growled in the distant background through the deep, tropical vegetation.

“Damn it Derpy!” Rainbow exclaimed. “Why do you always have to mess everything up”?

Salty tears welled up in Derpy’s eyes. She had been yelled at before, but Rainbow’s words had a way of hurting more than anything anypony could do to her physically.

“Don’t you dare cry” Rainbow barked. “You don’t deserve to cry”.

An indignant rage had built up in Dash’s voice long ago, but her voice was nearly breaking now.

Derpy glanced down at the Wonderbolts tickets that lay on the ground by her hooves.

“R-Rainbow” the grey Pegasus spoke softly through her quiet sobs.

“Shut up!” Rainbow returned. “I don’t want to hear you right now”!

With nothing to do and nowhere to go, the despondent derpy Pegasus plopped her haunches down in the dirt. Fifteen minutes had passed and Rainbow was just about done digging a hole deep down into the red earth. Derpy watched helplessly as a dirt spotted Rainbow Dash crawled out from the abyss and dragged Twilight’s body inside. Another fifteen minutes and the hole was refilled with dirt. Rainbow ripped a piece of bark off of a nearby tree and, using a dark, charcoal like rock, wrote Twilight’s name on it.

She stuck the bark in the ground near Twilight’s head, a paltry, makeshift tombstone.

“What now?” Derpy asked cautiously, afraid that Rainbow may decide to confront her yet again.

“What happens now…” Rainbow started anxiously. “…is that you leave me alone while I figure out how to get back. As a matter of fact…” Rainbow was yelling again. “…leave me alone forever! I don’t want to see your stupid face, your stupid wings, or your stupid mane ever again”!

The begrimed Pegasus stood and began to walk away from the site. She passed right by Derpy, carelessly trampling the Wonderbolts tickets underhoof as she passed.

“Rainbow, wait!” Derpy called out. Dash was silent as she continued her pace. Derpy rose to her hooves and took after her.

Twin trails of hoofprints dotted the beaten path through the heavy vegetation of the dense brush as the two pegasi pressed on in silence for some time. Finally, Derpy spoke.

“I’m really sorry Rainbow Dash. Will you forgive me”.

“No!” came Rainbow’s reply, almost quicker than Derpy could complete her plea.

The pattern repeated itself for several minutes. Derpy would ask for forgiveness and Dash would deny her every time. Finally, the multicolored Pegasus was fed up. She turned and faced Derpy, infuriated.

“For the last time, Derpy! I’m not going to forgive you so why don’t you just leave me alone”!

Derpy pondered for a second before speaking again.

“But why” she asked, truly hurt by Dash’s words.

Dash sputtered.

“Because I hate you!” she shouted.

“But why do you hate me Rainbow. I didn’t mean to—“

“There you go again!” Rainbow interjected shortly. “It doesn’t matter that you didn’t mean to! All that matters is that you did. If you’re really so sorry you can go and apologize to Twilight. Wait, you can’t, because you killed her! Why don’t you just leave me alone”!

With that, Rainbow Dash took to the burnt orange sky. Derpy called out after her.

“Rainbow wait! Don’t leave me”!

Derpy was nowhere near the flyer that Dash was; however, she quickly rose to the sky and followed suit.

An extremely thick blanket of dense smoke made it hard to breathe at high altitudes and forced the both of them to glide just a few hundred feet above the canopy of the “jungle”. Dash looked behind her at Derpy, who only smiled apologetically and waved as she tried to keep up. Dash turned her head back in front of her and sighed. A simple flick of her wings propelled her forwards a slight bit faster than before. Derpy struggled to maintain her speed but managed to match Dash’s velocity.

This continued for a while as Dash would speed up and Derpy would parallel her speed. Dash called back.

“You might as well stop now, Derpy. I’m not slowing down”!

“That’s okay Rainbow” Derpy replied. “I can catch up”.

Rainbow rolled her eyes.

A low rumbling emanated from the jungle floor. Dash searched around frantically as the distinct ‘CRACK’ of snapping trees echoed through the air but, there was nothing to be seen for miles.

CRASH!

Giant, snarling jaws arose deep from within the trees just ahead of Dash. She immediately halted and reversed, only narrowly evading the razor sharp teeth as they shut with a thunderous ‘SNAP’ mere feet in front of her. “Was that a dragon?” she wondered. What ever it was, it was larger than any living thing she’d seen, even larger than the Ursa Major that slept in the Everfree forest or the dragon she had confronted months ago when the smoke from its slumber threatened the skies over Ponyville.

The thing was massive but one fact was for certain: It would strike again. Dash yelled towards Derpy.

“Move it or lose it Pegasus!” she called before zooming off towards the horizon.

Derpy sped her pace, although barely able to keep up.

Several yards ahead, the jaws snapped again. Dash doubled back, escaping the beast’s mouth by pure luck, and by that only. More jaws in front, behind, to her sides. There was no escaping. She was trapped. A massive pair of teeth reared up from below. They were incredibly vast. Dash was stunned by their sheer size. She froze up, unable to move as the beast’s jowls closed in around her. The Pegasus closed her eyes, prepared to meet her fate.

Her eyes were jolted open as she felt a smaller body slam into her. Derpy shoved Dash out of the way just seconds before the mighty reptile was able to turn her into lunch.

The two careened into the canopy and slammed into the dirt back at ground level. They hid silently behind a mass of toppled trees as the monster came back to rest on the burgundy earth. It was definitely a hydra, but it was much larger than anything in present day Equestria.

Dash and Derpy shuddered as the beasts thundering footsteps carried it off into the distance. Derpy smiled at Rainbow as soon as the hydra was far enough away.

“This doesn’t change a thing!” Rainbow exclaimed angrily as she stormed off.

Derpy frowned, but only for a moment as she quickly retook her position behind Rainbow, who was now walking at a considerably slower pace.