Chapters Purple Pony Princess Possible Pairing Predicament
Chapter 2
“Betrayal?!” Discord shouted, his red eyes narrowed in anger. “That’s not what I’m angry about!”
“Please, everypony, let me...” Twilight quickly looked around the room, trying to defend her- “Sombra?! Chrysalis?!” She spotted the couple looking at her now. “And you’re together?!”
“Well,” Chrysalis looked away, a red hue on her cheeks. Sombra raised both hoofs in the air.
“All this is going on, and we’re your primary concern?” The dark unicorn pointed at the angry Luna, Celestia, Discord, Cadence, and then to the tied up elf. Twilight took a second to look at the last being in the room and tilted her head to the side, confused look on her face.
“Tirek! How dare you claim to...” Luna stopped talking, turning to look at Legolas. “For the last time, Legolas is shy!”
“Tirek, explain yourself this instant!” Cadence shouted. Like the other alicorns, she was still pretty sore at the centaur. She barely got over Discord’s betrayal, and that was at her aunt’s insistence.
“No, no! Why are those two here?! Did you brainwash everypony!?” Twilight turned to look at the dark couple, her eyebrows lifting up. “No wonder they are being so hostile to Tirek! He is a threat to your plans to take over Equestria and the Crystal Kingdom!”
“Those two?” Tirek asked, moving to cross both arms on his chest. “They are insignificant compared to me.”
“Oh, come on, Twilight Sparkle, do not make this about us now. Cadence has been consulting us for months now.” Chrysalis leaned into Sombra, making the unicorn blush a bit.
Legolas turned his head from side to side, the only one unable to say anything. The elf could only study what was going on, and so far he learned a few things. Sombra and Chrysalis at one point made Twilight angry at them, and possible rulers at one time. Tirek has almost everyone angry at him. Luna was being a real pain, and Celestia was holding Discord back from trying to do something with those strange looking birds.
Somehow, this reminded him of the first creation of the Fellowship of the Ring.
“Enough! I will not have arguments or fighting in the Love Center!” Cadence shouted out loud. She charged her form with magic and shot a ray into the top of the room. Everyone looked up, wondering what the tin ray could do. Apparently nothing, as the beam hit the roof and vanished into nothing. “First thing first! This is a sanctuary protected by the Crystal Heart, and as the ruler here, my rules will be obeyed!”
Discord raised his nunchaku a bit, turning to look back at Cadence. Celestia turned to look into his eyes, nodding once.
“Pickle Barrel Kumquat,” Celestia said, using the keywords to try to get Discord to realize to calm down.
“But it’s Tirek,” Discord whined, turning to look back at her.
“I’m sure Twilight has an explanation. While we all were arguing, I scanned her for mind alteration or any kind of magic influence. She has none.” Celestia turned to look at her sister and niece, nodding to them as well.
“She’s... Not?” Luna asked, turning to look back at Twilight.
“I assure you, I am in full control of my mental faculties. But I can’t say the rest about-” She stopped there, motioning to Sombra and Chrysalis.
“We are in a truce with the changelings,” Cadence sighed, shaking her head to the sides.
“A truce? When? How?” Twilight then turned to look back at her former mentor. “And you all knew? Why didn’t you tell me?! Am I not a princess too?” The purple alicorn narrowed her eyes, more angry than upset.
“It was Cadence’s idea to keep it quiet until we found out more about the Crystal Heart,” Chrysalis explained, moving to stand up. Sombra nodded, eyes closed. “With Sombra back, we managed to learn more about the-”
“If I can interrupt,” Tirek raised his right hand up. “Can someone explain what is going on?” Legolas nodded with the centaur.
Discord narrowed his eyes at him, but then ‘harraumped’ and snapped his paw fingers. In an instant, a flashback appeared in a hazy viewing portal. One by one, the events of the Crystal Kingdom, the Changeling Invasion, and Tirek’s escape were laid out for them to all to see. As the events were explained, they call gathered into the group circle to see the ‘window’ better. Once the show was over, the draconequus turned to look back at them all. “Are we all caught up?”
“The truce?” Twilight moved over to sit down close Luna.
“My changelings and I eat emotions. The Crystal Heart itself spreads love through Equestria. I can simply eat love out of the air,” Chrysalis explained. “Well, so to speak. Cadence allowed my race to stay in the north, provided we behave.”
“And since they now can eat without having to resort to parasitic traits,” Sombra spoke up next, “There is no need for me to take over the crystal heart.”
“Why is this?” Tirek asked, more confused why a pony who had his country stolen be so nonchalant about things.
“As it stands, it has been well over a thousand years since I last ruled. I wish to move around the land before I decide my next course of action.” Sombra moved to sit straight, eyes closed to lift a hoof to his chestplate. “I am still recovering my strength, and it seems I have new ways to obtain power than just ruling.” Tirek nodded at this, having spent some time doing the same thing.
“What about,” Twilight motioned to Legolas with her left forehoof. “Legolas, was it?”
“You know what? All of the others have greeted each other,” Cadence said as she moved a hoof to rub the spot between her eyes. “Let’s start going in a circle, and saying how you all got into your relationships?”
“You know, such a discourse may prove to be enlightening.”
Everyone picked up their heads, turning to look at the new voice. Tirek had been the one to remove the binding from Legolas’ mouth. “Thank you, centaur.”
“Pay me no mind,” Tirek said as he sat down on all fours next to the elf. At least he could tolerate this one. “I simply don’t enjoy imprisonment.”
“Let’s start then, with Discord and Celestia,” Cadence smiled, hoping this could shed some much important light.
The alicorns and Discord started to settle down. Celestia, because she wished to respect Cadence’s right as a ruler. Luna, because she was only here to ensure Discord and her sister were truly a couple. Discord, because he still had a lot to answer for. Cadence would only forgive him if he attended these therapy sessions. Twilight released a sigh and moved to lean in against Tirek, making him frown. But if Twilight wanted the others to give Tirek a chance, she had to give the others one as well. Legolas was just glad he could talk properly.
“Well, we shall skip when we first met, as it was so long ago,” Celestia spoke, settling herself down. “But, we have had a on and off relationship.”
“Let’s just call this...” Discord moved his claw hand out, twirling it in circles. “A clean slate to truly start over.” He smiled down at Celestia, making her blush a bit.
“That’s hardly fair,” Chrysalis admonished. “I may eat emotions, but I don't feel passion from you two.” That made Celestia’s wings flare up in embarrassment. Discord himself made both animal hands stick against each other to twiddle his thumbs.
“Now now, I only *giggle* asked that they share *snkt* how their current relationship came about. We can talk about the rest later,” Cadence chuckled. Only Legolas and Tirek didn’t laugh. Legolas, because he was feeling ill at how they would have marital relations. The centaur simply didn’t care.
“Well, after the fall of-” Celestia stopped herself, looking over at Tirek and coughed. “Discord had a true change of heart. He presented me with flowers, doing everything he could to ensure I forgave him.” Celestia shut both eyes and smiled, lifting her head up to nuzzle into his neck. “He looked so cute, that look of embarrassment...”
Discord coughed once, moving his paw hand out to cover his mouth. “Yes, well, she laid out a few conditions for me. I had no idea getting back together would be one of them. Not that I mind.”
“It was so I could keep a closer eye on him. I missed him more than I thought,” Celestia said as she opened her eyes. “Also, this was to relax the ponies. If I could forgive him and stay at his side, it would hurry Discord getting back into good graces with everypony else.”
“I, for one, prefered if we took things slow.” The draconequus shrugged, conjuring some chocolate milk to take a sip. “Can’t afford to get the heat on me thanks to this guy.” He shot a glare at Tirek.
“I’m not apologizing.”
“Don’t worry, dear,” Twilight moved a hoof out to rub Tirek’s side. “He’s the one that let himself get tricked.”
“Now, hold on just a-!”
“Discord, calm down,” Celestia interrupted him. “Who is next?”
“Celestia, I swear that you are being too manipulative.” Discord lowered his head to whisper into her ear.
“Discord, baby, I know. I want to lock up Tirek again rather than see his face again,” Celestia whispered back. “But I want to know what’s wrong with Twilight. And why Luna has Legolas.” Discord nodded, going back to sip on his chocolate. That Legolas was the most bizarre thing he has ever seen, and he was pure chaos.
“It appears the purple one does indeed harbor honest feelings for the centaur,” Legolas whispered into Luna’s ear.
“We are here for Celestia and Discord,” Luna whispered back. “But I am intrigued by Tirek. He hates ponies, but there he is. So well behaved.” The two look at Tirek, who was simply looking around the room for a moment. The centaur turned to look over at Twilight, releasing a small sigh.
“Sombra? Chrysalis?” Candace smiled at them.
“You know, for someone that was locked up in a cavern, you sure do seem awfully cheerful at their captor,” Twilight mumbled with a dry voice.
“Look, I am not mad at Sombra. Yes, he tried to threaten the Crystal Kingdom. But it wasn’t my kingdom yet, and he was merely lashing out for being sealed away,” Cadence answered Twilight. “And with food being supplied to her changelings. Chrysalis has been ever so...” The pick alicorn had to stop and lose her false smile for a second. “Chummy.”
“Oh, Cadence could not turn away a starving larvae,” Chrysalis replied, an all too smug smile on her face. “But my changelings were more than willing to help crystal ponies adjust to the modern world in exchange for food.”
“Really?” Twilight asked, looking at her sister in law.
“Well, the changelings would change into crystal ponies. It was easier for my subjects to hear and learn things from others like them,” Cadence explained. “But back to you and Sombra?”
“Well, there is not much to say.” Sombra shrugged, his deep voice relaxed for once. “After the field the blasted Heart made, I was injured.” He turned to Chrysalis for her to explain.
“My changelings and I headed north, to where the concentration of love was the strongest. We found him injured, and decided to care for him.” Chrysalis smiled, looking back at Sombra. “I figured off we could heal an injured pony, the rulers of the Crystal Kingdom would let us in.” The dark queen then chuckled. “I had no idea it was Armor and Cadence.”
“Back to your relationship?” Cadence insisted, an anger vein forming on the left side of her head.
“Well, it was pretty much a patient falling in love with their nurse,” Sombra shrugged. “I was injured so badly, I could not even eat. I owe Chrysalis my life.”
“Obviously, it took some time. So much pride in this one,” Chrysalis chuckled. “It took us a while to convince him to let us help him. I gradually came to rely on him, Sombra dear being a king and all. And his mane is so sexy.”
Legolas joined in with the others and gag as the two moved in to rub noses in an Eskimo kiss.
“Thank you for that...” Cadence tried very hard not to show disgust at the two former arch nemesis she had. “Charming story. Now then, who wants to volunteer to go next?”
“Oh, I will!” Twilight beamed with a smile. Tirek moved a hand to rest on his forehead.
“Now this is where things are going to be a little... Weird.” Tirek had been serious a moment, and then his eyes opened up more and his hand to cover his mouth.
“Weird? How?” Discord asked.
“Go on, Twilight. I admit I’m a bit curious as to what happened.” Cadence and the others leaned in a bit, looking at how mismatched the two were. Tirek, tall and old. Twilight, small and young. Tirek, evil and cunning. Twilight, kind and a bit naive. Now that the pink alicorn thought about it, they did have a ying yang thing going.
“Well,” Twilight blushed, a rosy hue on her cheeks. “None of you were there for the fight between us. Discord and my friends only showed up when I had Tirek on the ropes.”
Luna, Celestia, and Discord nodded. Each had different memories of that day.
“It wasn’t a fight,” Tirek spoke out, lowering his hand to wipe his mouth. “It was much worse.”
“That gigantic light show? Your shouting that could be heard from Ponyville? What was all that then?” Celestia asked, her left eyebrow raised.
“Like I said, things get weird here,” Tirek answered, trying to push Twilight’s hooves from around his waist.
Bonus:
“Discord?” Celestia asked. “What was that one thing that you were upset by Tirek?”
“Hmm?” Discord picked up his eyebrows. “Oh. I never told you?”
“Well, no. Only you were there along with the others elements of harmony.”
“Well, let’s just say he did something so evil that I wanted to do it,” Discord explained, though frowning at the memory.
“Just what did he do?”
“Well he tied up the Cutie Mark Crusaders, and gave them all cutie marks.”
“Really? Tirek?” Celestia raised her eyebrows. “But why?”
“The Cutie Mark Crusaders are now the Crystal Meth Makers.”
Author's Note
Proofread by LyonAzakura
Purple Pony Princess Possible Pairing Predicament
“Please, settle down every-” Cadence stopped herself, raising an eyebrow. “Everybody? Yes. Some of you are not ponies.” Eyebrows were raised up by her comment. “Look, I’m trying to be considerate. At least, we are not at each others neck, right?” She had to be supportive, if just for the Center’s message that love can bloom between anyone.
“For now. Wait till this meeting is over,” Discord muttered. It was bad enough he had to behave through this stupid meeting. If anything, it should be him and Celestia running it. They were the original unorthodox couple.
“Umm, Luna? You and Legolas haven’t had a turn,” Candace diverted the conversation.
“Erhm, well,” Luna moved her hooves up, as eyes were turned on her. Legolas was still a topic of interest, even with all the other events going on. Still, Luna was dreading this moment. How was she going to-
“We met not too long ago,” Legolas jumped in, looking around at the others. He was just going to be honest. “My people? Race?” The elf took a second to wonder what term to use. “Sailed away to a new land. While my fellow elves found a place to settle, a few of us went off to explore the new frontier.”
Luna smiled, relaxing a bit. “Oh, that far back? Legolas took it upon himself to explore the land. I found him on the outskirts of Equestria.” Luna stopped there, narrowing her eyes. “As of late, there have been many,” her eyes moved to scan the faces, “threats. I decided to expand my security sweeps.”
“She confronted me during the night. I was not only startled, but also enchanted by her,” Legolas admitted. Luna blushed, unable to help herself.
“We have been meeting each other at night since then. Only as political and security measures,” Luna added that last part quickly.
“Suuureee..” Chrysalis teased. Sombra closed his eyes a bit to study this ‘Elf’. So far though, Legolas could not detect any deceit in the fellow.
“I see. Now I understand why Luna was so curious when I mentioned this group,” Celestia mused. “And here I thought she was spying on Discord and myself.”
“As if I would!” Luna blushed again. Just to try not appear guilty, she leaned in to nuzzle Legolas’ cheek. Legolas managed not to squirm at her touch.
“We are however, going ‘slow’,” Legolas nodded. Let it not be said he kept his word.
“So when exactly were you going to tell the rest of us?” Twilight asked, a bit upset.
“This coming from the traitor-dater?”
“Ooohhh, I like that. Traitor-dater,” Discord gave Luna two digits up.
“Can we please not fight or rile up angers?” Cadence sighed, shaking her head to the sides. “Look, it’s lunchtime. Let’s split up, and move to the next part of the meeting?”
“There’s more?” Legolas asked, wondering if he was still going to be left tied to the chair.
“Well, while we eat, the sexes split up,” at the sounds of groaning, Cadence moved her hooves up. “Remember, we are here to show support for each other. Males have a way to do things, as do we mares...” She stopped there, turning to look at Twilight. “And you still have a lot of explaining to do, young lady.”
“But I-” Twilight stopped, as a magic field begun to divide the room in half. The field started from the left side, the color of a light blue. The glass like barrier moved slowly, causing the other to look around quickly. Only Sombra, Discord, Celestia, and Chrysalis were used to this and moved away from each other.
“See? It’s transparent. You can still look at each other,” Cadence smiled. “Though there are no listening devices or powers. So rest assured, nopon- Each side will have their own private conversation.” She stood up, moving to the female side. As she moved, the doors once again opened to have Donut Joe walk in with a cart filled with food.
“Joe?”
“Discord?” Joe stopped, lifting his eyebrows up at him. “I never figured you for the therapy-kind of guy.”
“Says the pony bringing in cucumber and daisy sandwiches,” Discord countered. Down on display was punch and water for drinks. Donuts for dessert of course, and simple sandwiches on display. Mostly light food for lunch, then again this was a non-profit service. There was bound to be price watching.
“Hey, I didn’t cook this,” Joe shrugged. The pony wearing an apron pushed the cart to the middle of the room. “I just work here. Umm, Do I need to get more for the big guy?” Tirek merely shook his head to the sides.
“You know him?” Celestia asked, raising her eyebrows.
“Oh yes, I discorded him a while back,” Discord shrugged. “Oddly enough, he liked himself being so aggressive. So I left him in that state.” Celestia raised her eyebrows, watching Joe walk away. A pony that wanted to be discorded?
“Back to splitting up, I like this idea,” Tirek said. “And I’m not just saying this to get Twilight to leave my side.”
“Tirek, honey!” Twilight turned to look back up at him. “But-”
“It’s just one lunch,” Sombra scoffed. “Besides, I wished to speak with the centaur.”
“As would I,” Legolas added. Finally, he was being released from his bonds in order to eat.
“Oh...” Twilight released a sigh. At least with the barrier she could still see him. “Ok., but promise me, Tirek, that you will be on your very best behavior.”
“I am not going to ask them for sex advice,” Tirek declared as he moved to join the males.
“Ahe he he, Tirek you’re so funny!” Twilight chuckled, trying to keep her wings from poomfing out in a wingboner. “Dat ass.” The alicorn bit her lower lip, watching him walk. “Unf.”
“Twilight?” Princess Celestia raised her eyebrows at her prized student. The newest princess couldn’t be- Actually no, she did not want to think of that right now. “You got some drool there...”
“I do?” Twilight picked up her head, moving a hoof to her mouth. “Er, um, it must be the food, I’m starving! Ehe.” She walked over to the cart, grabbing a cucumber sandwich to start munching and join the others. The other princesses had gathered around to sit on pillows, making a little circle. “Aren’t you going to eat?”
“No, Twilight, we must speak with thee.” Luna sighed, wondering why it was mental strain that caused her to revert to old ways. ”I meant you. We know Tirek has not altered your mind, but can you please explain why that traitor is free?”
“First of all,” Twilight stopped herself, swallowing her food to talk. “You can only be a traitor if you betray your country.”
“Um, Twilight, can we skip the list?” Celestia sighed, knowing her student on a more personal level. She knew what was coming, and most likely a list of why they should allow Tirek to be free.
“Well, I guess....” Twilight closed her eyes a bit. Well, they were treating her as an equal now, though it took forever. “I guess I should explain why Tirek is not wrecking havok.”
“Surely, it’s not because he loves you,” Cadence moved a hoof out to touch the shoulder of her new sister. “And if ponies are not having their power stolen, where did Tirek get his power from?”
“Well, actually he can’t.” Twilight smiled, glad at her own ideas. “Didn’t you noticed his horns? They should be enormous along with the rest of his studly muscles.”
“Please stop talking about him like that,” Luna begged, eyes closed a little. “We do wish to eat lunch later.”
“Well, do you remember the spell I used to change my friends and I into breezies?” Twilight sat down, moving a hoof out to give Cadence a gentle rub. “I used the change spell to transform Tirek’s body into a variation of his old one. While he has regained some youth and power, I removed his siphon ability.”
“That is actually a clever idea Twilight,” Celestia smiled, once again impressed by her student’s ingenuity. “But he still committed crimes, and must answer for them.”
“Well, I was getting to that actually,” Twilight giggled, moving to sit next to Cadence. “Well, you all know how everything went back to normal?” Cadence in turn, moved her hoof down and decided to give Twilight a chance to explain. If Twilight was truly in love, it was her duty as her sister to support her. Or get her out of the relationship with Tirek.
“Well, other than a new castle,” Luna nodded.
“Wrong!” Twilight smiled, lifting her forehoof up to shake it to the sides. “I changed.”
“Well, your taste in males at least,” Cadence teased. The purple one blushed a bit, moving her shoulder out to bump her sister.
“Well, kinda, but there’s more to it.” Twilight set her hoof down. “I know my role now as a Princess. My duty is to help spread friendship’s magic.”
“Well duh.”
“Chrysalis!” Celestia narrowed her eyes at her.
“Who didn’t see this coming?” The queen asked, eyes closed a bit. “Raise your hoof. Nopony?”
“We get your point, back to you though Twilight.” Celestia shook her head to the sides.
“As you know, we locked Tirek back up! As soon as I gave you all your power back, I can safely say I was normal again.”
“So you, uh, how do I put this... Didn’t lust after Tirek anymore?” Cadence asked. Often, many relationships started only with physical attraction. Or in the enamored persona, like how many a mare tried to reform the “Bad Colt” and live happily ever happen. She hoped this was the case for Twilight.
“I can’t actually say,” Twilight tilted her head to the side, not sure how to explain that part. “At the time, I was still trying to come to grip with my new reality. Now, only did the old library need to be built into a new better library, but my friends and I still had to get used to our new powers.”
“I still....” Celestia stopped herself. “No wait, I think I know.” The sun guider closed her eyes a bit to deduce things a bit. Twilight stopped, allowing her former mentor a chance. “As a princess of friendship, you felt it was your duty to start somewhere. What a better thing to do than do what Fluttershy did.”
“Exactly!” Twilight once again raised her right hoof up. “Friendship reformed Discord. It’s better to reform Tirek now than let him be a potential problem later.”
“So are you saying...” Cadence smiled, glad she got it right. “That in your crusade to reform Tirek, you fell in love with him?”
“Oh, no no no,” Twilight shook her head to the sides. “I never fell out of love with him.”
“But you said...” Cadence stopped herself, turning to look at Luna. “But you didn’t...”
“Lust? Not in his old form, no.” Twilight opened her eyes. “But I fell in love with my Tirek during out first confrontation. While I do love him, it’s hard to lust after a body that constantly hides behind a cloak.”
“So his age didn’t bother you?” Luna asked, lifting her eyebrow.
“If aged bothered me, I wouldn’t be friends with Celestia, Luna, or Discord,” Twilight defended herself. “Besides, I met Tirek for the first time in his power form. That’s how he will always be on my mind.” Twilight lowered her head, smiling at the memory.
Luna raised each hoof to the side of her head, trying to still the questions running through her mind. Celestia made a confused squiggle with her lips. It was the same with her and Discord. While she retained her adult and sexy looks, Discord looked older than her. Cadence desperately tried to find another couple to compare Twilek with. Nada. Chrysalis wondered what a cucumber sandwich tasted like.
“How? Why? Um, love?” Celestia finally managed to blurt out.
“It was his gigantic Tirek, wasn’t it?”
“Chrysalis? Really?” Celestia once again turned to look at her queen. Chrissy shrugged, as that was the only thing she could think it was.
“Look, you have any idea how much ponies like sex sometimes? You shake a sexy rump in their face and they turn into putty,” Chrysalis shrugged. “Changeling infiltration, 101.” Celestia sighed, giving into the black one’s point.
“Actually, thinking back on it?” Twilight raised her eyebrows. “It was his passion.”
“Passion?” Cadence picked up her head, finally hearing something she could relate with. Though, the Gigantic Tirek was a close guess.
“Well, yeah,” Twilight nodded her head. “All my life I’ve been surrounded by friends, family and ponies. We are all the same. We rally when friends are alone, are in pain, or need help. We bond to grow stronger together.”
“I sense a but coming,” Luna moved her own hoof out to urge Twilight on. She was curious as well now. Passion?
“Yes, Tirek has a big ass, bigger than Celestia's even.” Twilight threw a look back at her centaur’s muscular form.
Celestia stopped a second, throwing a look back at her sunbutt. The other two alicorns did as well. Chrysalis took a second to also nod. “These are strong emotions, yes- but,” Twilight nodded with Luna. “I don’t feel the raw emotion from it. Rainbow jumps into action when there’s danger,” Twilight shrugged. “Applejack rushes in when family is involved. Pinkie and Rarity when their jobs are put into question. And even Fluttershy, actually-” Twilight stopped there, trying to think back. “Well, there was that time she wanted to improve her wing power...”
“Please focus, Twilight. How did Tirek’s passion win you over?” Cadence asked. This sounded like when a mare or stallion fell in love with their loved one’s dream or goal in life.
“Well, ponies put their emotion and passion in their destiny and loved ones.” Twilight stopped there again, shaking her head to the sides. “But they don’t show it, or at least, express it in a way that can be appreciated by all.”
“By all?” Celestia asked, now listening in more intently. Where was Twilight going with this?
“Tirek has a passion born of hate. Drive, ambition, even, dare I say, hope.” Twilight shut her eyes, moving her hooves up to hug herself, giggling at the thought. “Imagine all that raw emotion, dedicated on you alone.”
“I...” Celestia moved her head back, eyes furrowed in thought. Was that all Twilight cared about? Then again, trying to imagine Tirek being lovey dovey with her student created a very scary thought.
“Hm. I can honestly say, not even Shiny can muster the same amount of passion for Cadence,” Chryssy smirked.
Cadence shot a look that could kill at her, but then turned to look back at Twilight. It was... sort of the reforming the bad guy scenario. But the pink alicorn did sometimes wish that her Shiny would show passion. Was he attentive? Was he great in bed? Did he command every bit the role of prince? Yes to all, but to compare it to Tirek’s rage? She had seen her husband angry, but all the emotion Shiny could muster was a force field and mean look.
“Are you trying to say, that you can imagine Tirek as a prince, loving you with all his emotion and might?” Luna asked. The night princess turned her head to the side, wondering about that. Wasn’t that what loving another was all about?
“He harbored rage, and for over a thousand years, he never lost his dream to take over Equestria. And that was just over his brother,” Twilight sighed, leaning her head into her sister’s shoulder. “Can you imagine what he could do if somepony hurts his destined love?”
“I admit, eating that amount of emotion would make any changeling into a king beyond kings,” Chryssy admitted. “I know that if somepony dared to insult me, Sombra would unleash a terrible rage.”
Celestia blushed a bit, wondering what a large centaur in heat could do to her in a thrall of passion.
“But can Tirek even feel love?” Cadence asked.
“If Discord and Celestia, even after all this time, are together,” Twilight smiled at her mentor. “I know I stand a chance. But one thing at a time.”
Meanwhile, back with the guys...
“So... Sombra, was it?” Tirek moved to the table to grab a plate and set some sandwiches on it. “What did you want to speak about?”
“Oh, you wish to speak now?” Sombra was about to take a bite out of his food. “Well, may as well get it out of the way. Are you planning to date and then wed Twilight Sparkle? So you can take over Equestria?” Discord immediately flash-teleported next to the dark unicorn, holding a voice recorder with microphone up to the centaur.
“Uh, no,” Tirek said, lifting both eyebrows at the device Discord held. “Well, I have no interest in dating Twilight, much less wed a pony.”
“Pray tell then, why suggest couple’s counsel?” Legolas asked, looking at the stuff between the bread.
“So I can find a way to break Twilight’s heart.”
“Ooohh, a revenge scheme?” Discord asked, hoping to get something juicy to share with Celestia.
“Can you move that from my face?” Tirek frowned, taking a few steps back. “Nothing of the sort. I just want that sex craved lunatic out of my face.”
“Seriously? You’ve been locked away for a century, and you don’t want sex?” Sombra raised an eyebrow. Granted, he was a century old- So maybe an aged being didn’t want sex. But the dark unicorn had been feeling a bit frisky.
“I was saving myself for marriage, actually,” Tirek then sat down, using a hand to lift food up to his face. It was weird, eating normal food again. Locked away in a cave, the best he had to eat were moss or mushrooms.
“The almighty and all powerful Tirek, a virgin?” Discord lowered the recorder and closed both eyes a little. “Forgive me if I don’t get it.”
“Look, it’s a centaur/political thing. When I do have power as a king, I don’t want stupid females trying to usurp my throne by claiming they have an heir with me.” It was hard to understand the centaur as he chewed though. Another thing he lost while imprisoned? Manners.
“Forgive me for speaking out,” Legolas set his plate aside, having actually taken a bite out of the sandwich. It did not sit well with him though. “You are all evil-”
“Former evil,” Discord quickly darted in with a finger up.
“Forgive my oversight,” Legolas moved his left hand out to the chimeric creature. “So why exactly, are you seeking our help?”
“I am starting to like you more and more,” Tirek said. Maybe it was because he was the closest thing to a centaur he’s seen in a long time. From the waist up at least. “I need help to break up with Twilight. Anything I seem to do only makes her more adamant than before.”
“You have every reason to want freedom. Twilight Sparkle has given you a chance, but you would give it up just to get away from her?” Legolas asked. “Considering you are well over a century old, you could easily outlive her.”
“It appears you do not understand my predicament,” Tirek sighed. “You make valid points, but hear mine.” He finished his food and took a sip of water to clear his throat. “One, she is a pony. Former pony? Whatever,” Tirek shut his eyes and sighed. “I hate them and their ways of friendship.”
“Go on,” Discord urged on, still recording.
“Two. Not only is she a pony, Twilight is Celestia’s student.” Tirek narrowed both eyes, his mouth forming into a snarl. “The princess that not only turned my own brother against me, but also locked me away. I will never forgive her, and just knowing Twilight is associated with that-”
“Watch it,” Discord growled. “She may be a pain in the plot, but she’s my pain in the plot.” To make sure he meant business, he made a paddle ball appear in his free hand to start making it bounce.
“Jailer,” Tirek turned to look at Discord with a roll of the eyes. “Makes my stomach sick.”
“Fair point,” Sombra added, moving to sit down next to Legolas. “With Celestia being ageless, every moment is a constant reminder of how she stays the same, while you rotted away.” Tirek moved his left hand out, glad one pony got it.
“Three. I don’t know how I’m even supposed to have coitus with that tiny plot,” Tirek moved his other than to point at Twilight. “Even in this size, I know I’m more than big enough to make her pass out.”
Legolas moved his right hand to his mouth, trying to keep himself from vomiting. Discord moved to get some soap appear in his paw. Then it was pushed it into his right ear, trying to wash the mental image out of his head.
“Four,” Tirek moved his hand up to raise a finger for each point given. “While Twilight had been nothing but intolerably nice to me,” Tirek sighed. “I wish not for the equestrians to resent her for staying at my side.”
Discord took the soap out of his head, his gaze relaxing a little. That... That was something he actually had in common with the centaur. Celestia was more than willing to put up with the morale and scrutiny ponies would have at their relationship. “Don’t tell me you have a soft spot for Twilight...”
“Hmm?” Tirek closed both eyes a bit, turning to look at Discord. “No, fool. What’s the point of marrying into royalty, if the kingdom won’t accept it?” Sombra nodded at that, since he had to take over the Crystal Kingdom by force.
“Any other reasons? These sound like excuses why not to date Twilight. Are you trying to convince us, or yourself?” Legolas moved to wipe his mouth with a napkin.
“Five. I’m old. Damn older than Celestia herself,” Tirek growled. Honestly, did they think him to be so sentimental? “Twilight, in comparison, is still in her mother’s womb. Not only do my tastes in a mate have nothing to do with ponies, our maturity levels are on completely opposite sides of the planet. Every time I look at her, I see a naive child with some school filly crush instead of an adult.”
“Well, that...” Legolas moved a hand to his chin. It was the same for elves that fell in love with humans. Sometimes, the elf had looked upon men as children, even though they were old. “That is a fair point.”
“But, we have a problem though,” Sombra sighed. He lowered his magic field, which he had used to lower his drink down. “I have no idea how to make a mare break up with you. I was a tyrant king, and had many a mare in my bed. Any that rejected me were sent to build more stairs.”
“Obviously,” Legolas coughed into his right fist. Stairs? “No idea either. I only known Luna for a week.”
“Well, it’s true me and Celly have broken up a few times,” Discord thought back. “It was so long ago I can barely remember. Also, I may have been shooting ponies out of cannons to the moon at the time.”
They all turned to look at Discord.
“What?”
.”Then I’m doomed,” Tirek sighed, moving both hands to hold each side of his head.
“Don’t you read any fairy tales?” Sombra asked, lifting his eyebrows. “While I don’t know how to make a mare break up with you- I offer this alternative. Make Twilight prove her love to you.”
“What?” Tirek asked, picking up his head.
“Oh, I come from the Crystal Kingdom, the center of love for Equestria. Often in fairy tales, a fair princess makes her prince prove his love.” Sombra tried to think of a good example, but none came to mind. “All you have to do is make a request so outrageous, she will never be able to do it.”
“Hmm... Yes, yes,” Tirek smiled, moving both hands to rub in front of himself. “I can make it a challenge. If Twilight cannot complete it, there is no way I can accept her. I just have to make a challenge so dark and evil, that she will have no choice but to say no...”
“This has taken a very dark turn,” Legolas shut both eyes, wondering what evil Tirek had in mind.
Discord wrestled with the idea in his head, wondering what he should do. One one hoof, it meant that Tirek would no longer be with Twilight. On the other hoof, it would break her heart. He turned to look at his shoulders, summoning his devil and angel side.
“Oh, you must support Tirek!” Fluttershy said, standing on Discord’s right shoulder. She was tiny, with a halo made of tin sticking over her forehead with a piece of wire. “The poor thing made lots of points, and it’s best for Twilight to break things off now before they get worse. It’s the best for everypony.”
Discord turned to look at his left shoulder, wondering what his inner devil had in mind.
“Heya Dissy!” Tiny Devil Deadpool called out, holding both thumbs up. “Listen up man! I’m the man with da plan! You should totally help Tirek out. Check it, you owe your friends, right? From what it looks like, Twilight hasn’t told her friends about this!”
“I’m listening,” Discord said, suddenly intrigued. Tiny angel Fluttershy also leaned in to look at Deadpool.
“Obviously, Twilight’s friends would owe you a solid! You, Discord, saved your friend from the evil sexy hands of Tirek! You’ll be a hero! You need those sexy brownie points! Not only will you get back at Big Red over there back in the slammer, but you will also make Twily Horn sad! And the kicker?! I won’t be your fault!”
Discord raised both eyebrows. For once in his life, both good and evil were in agreement! There was no need to summon the 7,014 other voices he listened to! “Hey thanks-” Discord stopped there, watching Devil Deadpool and Angel Fluttershy making out. With opened mouth tongue wrestling.
“You okay, Discord?” Sombra asked, wondering why the draconequus had made that disgusted face.
“Sorry, sorry,” Discord sighed. “I was just thinking of an impossible quest for Tirek to use.”
“Oh? Let’s hear it,” Tirek asked. Was Discord doing this to help a bro out, or simply to get him back in jail? Either way, he needed ideas.
“Have Twilight overthrow Celestia,” Discord spoke, not even thinking about what came out of his mouth. Damnit! Why was he such a genius?
“That’s perfect!” Tirek called out, moving his hands out to grasp Discord by the shoulders. “Not only will Twilight not betray her precious mentor, it’s believable! I will simply say I want Celestia to know the same betrayal I did when she turned my brother on me!”
Bonus:
“Angel, baby, please, I know you can’t help but love the Merc with the Mouth, but-” Devil Deadpool had to stop, motioning with his head behind himself. “This is a bit much.”
“I always cry at weddings,” Discord admitted, throwing rice at the couple. His free claw moved to wipe the tears from his face. The Angel and Devil were in a chapel, standing before Celestia. Well, more like standing on an altar while Celestia looked down at the couple through a magnifying glass.
“You may now kiss the husband.”
Fluttershy squeed, throwing herself at the tied up Deadpool and unleashed countless nuzzles with smooches and cuddles on her hubby.
Author's Note
Proofread by LyonAzakura.
I ship this.
Purple Pony Princess Possible Pairing Predicament
Chapter 5
The magic barrier made a ‘shrshhh’ noise as it begun to recede. The separated sexes inside the room picked up their heads, turning to look at the retreating field.
“I take it that the lunch is over?” Luna asked, her gaze turning to look at the male folk. Legolas looked alright, and hopefully, he had done his job as a spy for her.
“Yes, it is now time to share any concerns or advice each side has for any couples,” Cadence said as she headed to the middle of the room. “The last part of today’s meeting, since it was the first consultation of two couples.”
********************************************
“So now what?” Tirek asked, eyes trained on Twilight. It appears that the unicorn was smiling and clapping with her hooves again, glad the separation was over.
“Well, typically we go over any advice or final thoughts,” Discord moved his claws to touch each other, making his recorder vanish from view. “The meetings usually don’t last more than an hour or so.”
“I take it then you have attended these often then?” Legolas asked Sombra.
“My second group meeting, so no. But that is the format for all of Cadence's consultations,” Sombra nodded. “If there are no objections, I say we let Tirek go first.” The unicorn turned to face the others, leading the way back to the group circle in the middle. Hearing no one speak up, Tirek nodded and smiled.
“Freedom, one step at a time,” Tirek whispered. All he had to do was outlive them all, and build up a new plan again.
*******************************************
“So then, are we all ready to proceed?” Cadence asked, taking her place at the lead point of the group of pillows. A few nods, “uh huhs”, and other confirmations made the pink alicorn smile. “Excellent! Now, as I discussed, the talks between the males and the females were kept private, so we won’t go over them here. But, I also ask that when you leave this meeting, you all will not discuss it with your special somebody afterwards.”
No side said anything, as they sat down to settle with their partners. Celestia sat with Discord at Cadence’s left, while Twilight and Tirek at the right. Next to Discord, Luna and Legolas. To close the circle, Sombra and Chrysalis took their place. Bellies full, a lot of tempers and anxieties had been curbed a bit.
“Now then, we-” Cadence stopped talking, looking around quickly. “No one is interrupting me?”
“You ok sis?” Twilight asked, for once sitting down properly at Tirek’s side. Well, instead of constantly touching or otherwise gawking at him.
“Odd, considering how the meeting has been going, I was expecting another interruption,” Cadence shook her head and smiled. “Now-”
“Twily!”
“Damnit Shiny,” Cadence muttered as a hoof moved to cover her face a bit.
“Brother!” Twilight jumped up from her spot, rushing over to tackle her brother in a flying hug.
“How’s my-” Shining Armor stopped, turning to look at at faces of the others. Discord had a paw up to wave, with Luna and Celestia nodding in greetings. Sombra turned his head away and puffed his cheeks out. Chryssy had given Shiny a sultry look with her eyes, though she had given herself the pink alicorn’s face. “What in the-”
“Oh look, Mr. trying to be the hero,” Tirek smirked.
“Hm. Now that look closer, I see no family resemblance between Twilight or her brother,” Legolas said, nodding his head at the white unicorn.
Shiny held his sister in both arms, torn as to what he should do. Part of him wanted to set up a field and give Tirek a mean look. Part of him wanted to roll his eyes at Chryssy. Yet another part of him wanted to walk over at the elf and touch his ears. So, the former captain of the guard did the only thing he could do.
He walked over to Legolas and begun to touch his ears with his hooves softly.
“Uh,” Legolas raised both eyebrows a bit, not sure how to respond to this attention. Soon enough, the others got up from their seats and joined in, touching the pointy ears.
“Why are you here, dear?!” Cadence snapped her eyes open, an angry vein throbbing against the side of her head. Her anger vanished though, noticing even Tirek moved behind the elf and stroked Legolas’ left ear between his index finger and thumb.
“In a minute, I’m waiting to get a turn again,” Shiny muttered.
“In a minute?!” Cadence got angry again, remembering the original interruption.
“Oh come off it. You want to do this too, right?” Shiny turned to look back at his wife with a smile. Legolas’s eyes could only move left and right, not wanting to irk the wrath of the near god like animals. Sooner or later, they would tire anyway. I mean, ears without fur?
“Get out, the meeting is almost over!” Cadence raised her hoof up to point at the door.
“Fine fine,” Shiny sighed, marching to the door. “I just came over to ask you to join my Dungeons and Dragons session later.”
“Neeeeeerd!” Discord shouted, having finished his turn at Legolas’ ears. Celestia raised a hoof to stifle a giggle, Twilight giving them both an annoyed look.
“Can you please stop touching elf ears? Why won't you touch my ears, Tirek?” Twilight pouted.
“Woah woah woah, Tirek?!” Shiny’s eyes opened wide, turning to look over the right shoulder at his sister.
“Ahe he he.... Surprise?” Twilight offered with a small shrug, a blush on her cheeks.
“Are you doing this to get back at me for not telling you about Cadence?” Shiny asked, eyes closed as an anger vein formed. A purplish field of magic surrounded the unicorn though, lifting him from the ground. The others blinked once, seeing the pink princess shove her husband through the door. Afterwards, an audible *click* shut the door. Chryssy frowned a bit, changing herself back. Why did she allow herself to get distracted by ears? Teasing him was so much fun...
“Someone’s sleeping on the couch tonight,” Sombra chuckled, glad Armor was kicked out. While it had been Spike and Cadence to defeat him, if it hadn’t been for Armor throwing his wife, he would have won the day.
“Well that happened,” Luna sighed, taking her turn on Legolas’ ears.
“Can this stop?” Legolas asked, seeing the others finally getting it out of their system. He realized that none of these creatures had ever seen someone like him; even the centaur barely had a humanoid resemblance. Best to cut them some slack.
Thumbs are cool though. Thumbs rule.
“Yes, please,” Cadence called out, moving back to her group. She was going to have so much angry sex later with Armor later. “I realize that Twilight deserves a chance to have her love. We all deserve that chance. If this is what my sister wants, I will support her all I can.”
“I beg your pardon, but we-” Legolas was interrupted, when Tirek moved a hand out in front of himself.
“Are you saying, even if my relationship with Twilight ends in failure, I can still have a chance at freedom?” Tirek asked, looking back at Celestia.
“Not that we would fail,” Twilight quickly added, moving to hug Tirek’s arm to her chest. His big, manly, hand into her rapid beating chest. The centaur tried very hard not to retch at that disgusting cute smile she had on.
“I...” Celestia closed her eyes a bit, realizing she had been put on the spot by Tirek. He was clever. “Sombra and Chrysalis have been given a chance to redeem themselves. We have even forgiven Discord twice, and my sister has also redeemed herself.” The solar princess turned to look at her sister.
Luna was about to raise a hoof and interrupt, but that last statement made her lower her hoof. Her lips squirmed a bit, fighting the urge to outright declare them all insane. The night princess raised her head, giving a sigh. “I cannot find fault with Twilight’s reasoning, nor my sister’s. To not at least try giving Tirek a second chance- Would make us hypocrites.” She stopped though, narrowing her eyes at the centaur. “But only the opportunity, not the actual pardon.”
“Then it’s all settled!” Twilight smiled, opening her eyes after all of the smiling she had made. “So far, everything is in my checklist!”
“Hmph,” Chrysalis said, shaking her head to the sides. “I do feel love, but not one that shall last.”
“Not to mention Tirek is getting a better opportunity at redemption then we were given,” Sombra complained in a deep voice.
“You two got off easy,” Twilight scoffed. She immediately narrowed her eyes. “You got exiled. Tirek spent locked away in Tartarus.” Tirek shrugged, not used to receiving support from from a pony. Sombra shut his eyes and sat straight, not giving Twilight a chance to argue anymore. Chrysalis chuckled, seeing Twilight angry like that reminded her of sending the bookworm into the crystal caverns.
Legolas had his hand raised, wondering what direction the meeting was taking. He just wanted it to be over and get his sandwich. “Back to the meeting?”
“Forgive me Legolas,” Tirek spoke, a large smile on his face. “We had a moment for final thoughts then?”
“Oh?” Cadence tilted her head to the side. For Tirek to suggest something? But he seemed so against Twilight as his mate... “Go ahead.”
“Twi- Argh!” Tirek raised both hand up, covering his face as Twilight was hovering right in front of his face.
“Yes?” Twilight asked, very excited now. A large smile decorated her face, eyes open wide with a slight twinkle in them. Did Discord or Sombra help Tirek with his reluctance?
“Ergh,” Tirek cringed a bit, memories floating in his head about that fateful encounter. Both arms moved down to stand straight and defiant. “Twilight Sparkle, I have spoken with my fellow males...”
“And?” Twilight leaned in, crooning her head into his chin a bit.
“I am prepared to engage in a possible relationship with you-”
“Finally!” Twilight moved in, embracing him by his neck in a hug with both of her hooves. “You have no...” She stopped talking, looking down at a Tiny Fluttershy and Tiny Deadpool shaking their heads at her. Where did they come from?
Discord moved a claw to his face, covering his eyes for the incoming chaos. There was good chaos, and then a spurred loved one. Last time that happened, he got himself encased in stone. Celestia narrowed her eyes, spotting Discord’s reaction. Oh no...
“On a condition! On a condition!” Tirek quickly shouted out, moving his hands up to try to pry the amorous alicorn from his neck. Sombra opened his eyes, turning to look at the centaur. Did... Was Tirek blushing?
“A condition?” Twilight stopped fighting against his hands, lifting her eyebrow in question. She had not expected that in her calculations. Oh please, by Starswirl’s beard, let it not be sex once a month! She moved off him, floating back to the ground. Cadence narrowed her eyes, not liking what was happening.
Glad to have a chance to breath, Tirek released a sigh. “Twilight, I do not believe your love to be true, only lust.”
“How can you even-” Twilight was about to launch a tirade when she saw the look the others gave her. Discord moved the claw away from his face, looking at her with his left eyebrow up. Legolas moved his right hand up, pointing at her accusingly, as if daring her to say something. Sombra and Chrysalis joined their horns together, making the images of “I want that dick!” appear in green and black letters over them. Celestia kept her eyes closed, refusing to comment. Luna moved a hoof again to introduce it to her forehead. Cadence blushed, looking down at the floor. To think the little unicorn foal she foalsat grew up into a sex fiend. Tirek himself, said nothing, waiting for Twilight to say something with both arms crossed on his chest.
“Oh ok. What is your condition?” Twilight sighed. It only took her a moment to smile, since Tirek was willingly to give her a chance.
“I have been told that in fairy tales,” Tirek smiled, lifting his head up to look straight ahead of himself. “That a prince must often prove his true love to the princess.”
“Oh, this is going to be so easy!” Twilight moved to sit on her haunches. There was nothing she couldn’t do.
“Overthrow Celestia, become the new ruler and make me your king,” Tirek lowered his gaze back down, a cruel smirk forming on his lips.
“Oh here it comes,” Discord muttered, snapping his fingers to summon a pair of shades over his eyes. Sombra grinned, leaning in to see the look on Twilight’s face. Luna’s mouth fell open, shock at the evil Tirek came up with. Celestia herself, quickly sat up, both eyebrows moving up in shock. Twilight had not immediately said “no” or even look in her direction. Chrysalis turned to look up at Tirek, a bit in surprise. She then turned to look at her unicorn and got a clue. Oh, her dark unicorn was such a tease.
Legolas though, shut both eyes a bit to study the purple alicorn. She had immediately lose her confident smile, each hoof lowering to the ground. The dark purple mane cast a shadow over each eye when her head moved down. It was hard to see what she was feeling, much less reacting. Was she actually debating doing such a heinous act?
“I...”
Everyone waited on bated breath, looking down at the alicorn. Her voice had come out a bit weak, almost a whimper.
“Why?” Twilight raised her head, tears building in her large eyes. Tirek never lost his smile, looking down at her. “Tell me, why the most difficult thing ever?”
“Twilight... are you actually considering this?!” Cadence asked, Celestia too stunned to even close her mouth. Luna herself turned to look at Tirek with a snarl. Was Tirek doing this to torture the newest princess?
Discord moved his paw to the shades, lifting them over his eyes a bit. This... This was not what he had been expecting. Was Twilight really in love with this backstabbing centaur? Then again, he was a backstabber, but still...
Sombra smiled a bit, glad that Twilight was actually that conflicted. This was genuine love Twilight had. Chrysalis couldn’t help but feel pity for the alicorn.
“Tell me why?” Twilight asked again, looking straight into Tirek’s eyes.
“You are Celestia’s former student! Look at her!” Tirek shouted, lifting his own right hand over at the white alicorn. “I wasted away in a cage! She has not changed a single hair in all this time!” Tirek frowned, his hand forming a fist. “She made my own flesh and blood betray me! While you want my reformation, she locked me away without a chance at a pardon!”
Celestia tried to stand up, trying to regain her senses. She could not let Tirek manipulate her student into becoming a traitor. “Would you-”
“Silence you! I was speaking to Twilight,” Tirek sneered, turning to look back down at the alicorn. “At least this way, I know you love me more than her.”
“I...” Twilight turned to look at Celestia, then back at Tirek. This had been on her list though, the chip in Tirek’s shoulder must be huge. But to think it would drive this thick a wedge between her and her centaur... “I can’t! Please! Anything else! I will do it!”
“No Twilight Sparkle, this is my challenge.” Tirek spoke, his voice relenting as each eye shut. “And this would include Luna as well.”
“Tirek! I should’ve known you had no love in your heart!” Luna shouted, snarling now as she pawed the ground. “Prepare to-”
“Tirek?” Cadence spoke out, her voice a sweet and sing song. Twilight picked up her head, turning to look at her sister. “Don’t tell me you were going to take it back in case Twilight said yes...”
“What?” Tirek immediately picked up his eyes open, turning to look at cadence. “I-”
“Oh!” Twilight’s mood immediately picked up. “This was just a test?!” Her front hoof moved up to wipe her face. “Now I get it! No wonder you made it so hard!”
“No no I-” Tirek quickly moved both hands out in front of himself, quickly trying to make fists again. “I was being serious! I-”
“I’m so sorry I ever doubted you Tirek honey!” Twilight quickly flew up, moving to hug the centaur again. “You can stop pretending. I was this close to saying yes!”
“Uh...” Tirek’s hands froze in place, unable to comprehend what just happened. Twilight was about to say yes?!
Discord quickly turned to look at Celestia, wondering what she was going through. The white alicorn had formed a frown, an angry vein forming at the side of her head. Twilight was going to betray her for this-
“Now now honey,” Discord chuckled, moving his claw and paw out to grab Celestia by her front shoulders. If she found out it was him that gave Tirek the idea, he was going to be put in stone again for sure. “Pickle barrel kumquat...”
“I’ll pickle barrel kumquat you!” Celestia shouted, turning to look at Discord with a snarl for the first time in such a long while. “We are out of here!”
“What the-”
Discord’s voice vanished, as Celestia’s horned glowed with magic power and made them both vanish.
“What just happened?” Sombra asked, his eyebrows raised at the scene. Chrysalis shrugged, not sure herself. Did she even care anymore?
Luna had her own eyebrows raised now. Was that all some silly test? She turned to look at Legolas, who had simply furrowed his own brows. Why was Tirek not rejecting the alicorn now?
“Cadence, how did you know?” Twilight grinned, turning to look at her. Tirek stood there, his head slowly moving to look at the pink alicorn as well.
“Oh, I’m the love princess, remember?” Cadence chuckled, actually lying through her teeth. She knew full well the centaur was being completely honest. “Not the first time this has happened. Lot of couples make them prove their love to each other, only to take it back at the last moment.”
“To think I almost failed!” Twilight chuckled, the coat under her eyes slightly damp. Her head moved in, nuzzling Tirek’s neck. “I love you so much...”
Tirek stood there, unable to say anything. Twilight Sparkle, had been willing to betray Celestia?
“Well Tirek, is this true?” Luna asked, marching up to the couple. No way that could have been the case!
“I...” Tirek slowly shook his head to the sides, shaking the cobwebs out of his head. Twilight moved her face from body, only to move it up to give him an Eskimo kiss.
“Don’t tell me he was just that shy,” Chrysalis teased. She could now feel emotion from Tirek. Well, other than revulsion and hatred now. There was something... something blooming there. Sombra turned to look at his queen. Could she feel the centaur having a change of heart?
“Well, now that that has been settled,” Cadence smiled, eyes closed. “I declare this meeting over! I will have Heart set up appointments for next time.” Excellent! Not only had she saved her sister’s heart, she had also screwed Tirek! He was now stuck with the obsessive and adorkable alicorn.
“But-” Tirek raised a hand up, moving it to point at the pink alicorn as she walked away. “You can’t-”
“I’ll be watching you,” Luna whispered in a low voice. “Come along Legolas.” The elf nodded, moving to stand up and smile. Deciding not to say anything, the elf merely walked by Tirek and gave him a shrug of both shoulders.
“Et tu, Legolas?” Tirek watched, finally getting a clue that there was no escaping Twilight.
“Chrysalis, let us leave the lovebirds alone...” Sombra chuckled. While it was fun for the short time it was, he wondered how long before Tirek could take no more.
“Oh, you’re right. They need to consummate their new relationship...” Chrysalis smiled as she walked out with her unicorn.
“Consummate?” Tirek asked, his eyebrows shooting up. Twilight bit her lower lip, leaning her body away from his chest to look down at his muscles. “Fine. Make it quick.” The doors were closed, leaving the new couple in the dark.
True to her word, Cadence and Armor had angry sex.
Bonus:
“Legolas, I promised thee a sandwich. Just pick it,” Luna said, bowing her head in thanks to the elf.
“I see. I feel more deserving than just a sandwich. I would like two sandwiches.” Legolas negotiated, crossing both arms on his chest.
“We only agreed to one!” Luna pouted.
“After the Tirek and Twilight affection added?” Legolas asked, lifting his eyebrows.
“Fine fine. Pick your two sandwiches.” Luna shook her head to the sides. Legolas was lucky he was so sexy.
“I want one sandwich of Rarity and Rainbow Dash. The other sandwich of Fluttershy and you,” Legolas grinned, facing Luna.
Luna blushed, gulping hard as her wings flared out with a ‘poomf’.
Purple Pony Princess Possible Pairing Predicament
Twilight begun talking about the confrontation between her and Tirek now...
“PRINCES TWILIGHT SPARKLE, YOU HAVE SOMETHING THAT BELONGS TO ME!”
“Tirek!” Twilight picked up her head, still wedged between the rocks. Using her new upgraded flight power, the alicorn flew out and sped towards her opponent. As she missed him and flew back, both eyes opened wide to look at how tall he was. Using a u-turn spin, she flew back towards the centaur, only to crash back into his huge front hoof. One thought ran through her mind:
”Sweet Celestia! He’s huge!”
“You’re going to give me what I want,” Tirek demanded to her. The alicorn had to take steps back just to look up at him. Him and his sheathe. It was humongous! How gigantic would his penis be once that monster was out of it’s hiding place? Fear ran through her spine, and the alicorn had to get out of there fast. As he prepared a blast from his horns, Twilight quickly teleported away to the tree house.
Even using her telescope, she could still see how huge he was. Another sensation ran through her body, but she was too busy figuring out what to do to notice. When the blast finally came, Owlicious and her managed to escape in time with not one of her more memorable crash landings. When she managed to look back at her home, she gasped in shock. The library she called home for over a year, a place filled with memories, was gone in a smoldering ash and debris.
To say that Twilight’s mood was angry, is to put it mildly.
Enraged now, Twilight took off and prepared one of the most powerful offensive blasts she could conjure up. Thanks to the power of all of the other alicorns, the magnitude of the magic spell was beyond comparison. It ever managed to destroy part of the ground, and that was before that spell exploded in the end.
“Now I understand what the princesses have done,” Tirek said with a grin. He lowered his head a bit, preparing his horns for a blast. Twilight flew off once more, preparing another blast. Horns fired off their power- Tirek’s in a yellow blaze, and Twilight’s in a rainbow white. Magical energies crash into one another for a few moments, creating a stalemate of white. Soon enough, the magical blasts ended with another explosion.
“So far, this seems to be going with what you told us,” Celestia interrupted, poking her head out a bit.
“Yes, isn’t this where Tirek summons our friends and me?” Discord asked, moving a hand to stroke his beard.
“Here comes the weird part...” Tirek took over explaining the events.
The centaur towered the ‘princess’ and chuckled, using his levitation power to raise her up. WIth a spin of his form, he sent the alicorn to crash into a mountain. Twilight managed to create a magic field to prevent her from taking damage. A second of shock though, came across her as Tirek flew horns first into her form. Luckily, she managed to slip between the horns to land his shoulder.
Tirek laughed at his power, hearing a moan coming from the puny princess. He thought it was pain at the time, but it did sound strange to him.
“A moan?” Luna asked, lifting her right eyebrow up.
Twilight blushed, turning her head away from the others.
“Well, it shocked me too. Here was the tallest, most muscled, experienced, magically-powered, being in all of Equestria, and possible the world.” Tirek’s eyes closed a bit, as the corners of his mouth twisted into a questionable squibble. “His body, for his age, was warm and soft. His mane was white, but so gorgeous and silky.” As Twilight spoke, the others joined in with Tirek, eyes opened wider and their mouths twisting into uncomfortable territory.
“Please stop,” Tirek asked.
“That’s funny! You said that too!”
Twilight managed to fly off the centaur and sent a blast to throw him to the ground. She was now an alicorn with a purpose! She immediately flew down, a confused look on her face when she couldn’t spot her target. A yellow blast of magic tore up the ground before spinning in a circle. Tirek raised the ground with his bare hands and threw the chuck away like it was a pebble.
Twilight shook off the confusion and took to the air, this time smiling.
“It appears we are at an impasse, how about a-”
“Yes! An alliance will be beneficial!” Twilight exclaimed, interrupting the centaur as she flew closer to him.
“A what?” Tirek halted his fingers in mid snap. Right hand raised, his mouth opened a bit in confusion.
“An alliance! Yes, we can establish a truce and then-”
“Why would I establish an alliance with ponies?!” Tirek shouted, drawing his hand back. Twilight landed on the ground, walking over to lift her face at him.
“Why not?” Twilight countered.
“I hate ponies! So weak and meek,” Tirek scoffed, crossing both arms on his chest.
“But you already established we were equals!” Twilight stamped the ground with her left hoof.
“Why are you even suggesting this?” Tirek asked, lifting his right hand out to her. “Are you simply afraid of me? Or that I will take over Equestria?”
“No, you... Urgh!” Twilight shut both eyes and stamped the ground again. “It’s the only way this can work!” She looked back up at him, her eyes staring at his own, the heat in her body building.
“What will work now?” Tirek asked, getting interested. He lowered his head a bit, looking at her better. Now that he thought about it, getting a ruler of Equestria on his side would make the ponies submit, with no rebels to rally behind. He could always steal her power later, and he did have her friends as a hostage. What harm could it do to listen?
“So I can have that dick!”
Alarms ran through Tirek’s mind. Apparently, lots of alarms. Lots and lots of alarms.
“Uhh...” Sombra was the first one to speak, the others so much in shock that they were all in stun speak. “Did I hear right?”
“Yes,” Tirek sighed, a blushing Twilight hiding behind his large arm and side.
“I was...” Twilight managed to speak out in a squeak. “Hormonal at the time. I was still getting used to the power of all of that alicorn magic in me. As I fought Tirek, ideas popped into my head. One was, if he can’t be beaten, why not have him join us?”
“But he kidnapped all of our friends!” Discord shouted, both arms out. The draconequus’ head moved left and right, looking between the centaur and alicorn.
“I got them out...”
“He blew up your home!” Celestia cried out, taking her turn at the shock.
“It can be fixed with magic,” Twilight kept her head down, her left hoof out from her form to make circles on the ground.
“He stole magic from, like, every corner of Equestria!” Cadence took a turn.
“They got better...”
Luna managed to shake off her stupor and moved a hoof to cover the spot between her eyes. “Just continue...”
The centaur took a second to let things process in his mind. His head moved left and right a moment, not sure what was going on. Both hands fell at his sides. Twilight smiled up at him, her eyes with a slightly glazed look. “Come again?”
“Well, the rest of you too,” Twilight managed to speak out. A hue built in her cheeks as she panted for air. “Your strong muscles, that flowing hair. And your power! It’s astounding!”
“I want to say right now, I am finding all of this disgusting,” Legolas interrupted. Lots of nods joined in.
“Are... Are you serious?” Tirek asked, finally grabbing hold of his mental resources. “I’m not even a pony.”
“You’re half pony,” Twilight grinned. “The important half.”
“I-” Tirek moved his left hand up covering his eyes as he could not believe what was he hearing. And what was this feeling between his legs? Drawing the hand away, the centaur looked down between his hooves and find a very affectionate alicorn nuzzling against him. “What are you doing?”
“How about a peek?” Twilight asked, smiling with her eyes closed. “Let me see all of your power.”
_________________________________
“I am paraphrasing now,” Tirek said, shaking his head to the sides. “In case you are too stupid to-”
“We get it, she was talking about your Gigantic Tirek,” Chrysalis replied. No way! He was over 6 feet now, his male organ must be huge now! And Twilight wanted the gigantic version? The alicorns in the room also looked at each other. Now that Twilight mentioned it, just how big could it be? A few blushes formed on cheeks.
“Control yourself,” Discord muttered, moving to cross his own arms.
“What? No!” Tirek shouted, taking a few steps back from Twilight now. Magical blasts did nothing to phase him, but talking about his purple helmet warrior did. “If you are teasing me, I shall destroy you!”
“Tirek dear, if we are going to make this work, you have to trust me. I learned a lot about honesty from my friends.” Twilight took to the air, hovering in front of his face. “I want you. All for myself.” Tirek blushed, unable to help himself. It had been centuries since he had any contact with anyone, much less female.
“You’re just trying to get me to lower my guard! Well, it will-” Tirek stopped himself, spotting as Twilight flew down quickly between his legs.
“Oh my, this thing could rip me in half!”
“Twilight!” Celestia chastised her student.
“It was true...” Twilight blushed again, moving to push her face into Tirek’s side.
Tirek shut both eyes, unable to face anyone. “If you guys feel uncomfortable, imagine how I feel.”
“Oh, no way in Tartarus!” Tirek shouted. He needed to get away from this perverted pony. “You’re sick, you hear me?!”
“Tirek, honey! Come back!” Twilight shouted, taking off behind him immediately. “We can talk about this!”
“Stay away from me, pervert!” Tirek shouted over his left shoulder. He was flying away from Ponyville now, so no one would her his panicked screams.
“Are you gay? Is that it? I know a spell to change my gender!”
Epic facehoofs and facepalms went up at the same time.
“Don’t tell me, the one creature we’re afraid of, can’t handle females?” Discord asked.
“Twilight, Twilight, Twilight,” Celestia groaned.
“Ever heard of playing hard to get?” Cadence suggested. “Coming too strong is...”
“Desperate much?” Sombra asked.
“This is the pony that defeated me? Chrysalis complained.
“This is not worth a sandwich,” Legolas sighed.
“I am never going into your dreams, Twilight,” Luna vowed.
Twilight had enough decency to move a hoof to rub the back of her head, blushing in embarrassment.
“I am not gay!” Tirek roared out, halting his flight to face her.
“Then what’s the problem?! We can just shrink you so we can have coitus... Not shrink you that much...” Twilight spoke that last part in a seductive mew.
“Stay away from me!” Tirek once again took off, this time to the ground. He managed to react a barrier around his form, thinking of a counter plan.
“Look, if it’s because you’re a virgin, don’t worry! I’m one too! We can take this journey together!”
“What the...?” Tirek moved his neck a bit to look behind himself. Twilight had managed to teleport through his field and land on his back. This pony was scary! When she put her mind on it, she did things that was impossible! With his current power level, no one should be able to penetrate through his shield!
“Or we can take things slow...” Twilight lowered her head a second. “Now that I think about it, maybe it might be better. We will have to return all of the ponies’ power back-”
Twilight was interrupted when the centaur bucked her off him. “Get this straight! I will rule Equestria on my own!”
“Oh, I get it! You’re shy!” Twilight opened her eyes and smiled, using her wings to control back to hovering. It was as if she forgot about all of her worries now. “One of my best friends is shy! Let’s play a game to relax you!”
“What? No!” Tirek shouted, bringing his field down. “Look, I-”
“Let’s play doctor,” Twilight spoke in a hushed and husky tone, moving a hoof out to rub his sheathe.
Tirek released a surprised ‘Ooohhh’ at the foreign sensation. That felt so- Wait a minute! He shook his head to the sides and begun to run off, leaving a bewildered Twilight in the dust. “We haven’t even dated yet!”
All eyes were back on Twilight, though this time she was not embarrassed. “Males are the same, no matter what race.”
“Come back here!” Twilight now said, getting angry. “I know I’m coming on strong...”
“This goes beyond sick and wrong! It’s wrong-sick!” Tirek called out, coming to a halt. “This ends now! I am going to have my way with your magic!”
“Is-” Twilight stopped, finally realizing something. He wasn’t playing hard to get! He just wanted to be the hunter! She stopped, moving a hoof to cover her head. “Oh, woe is me... I am so scared. Please don’t hurt me, Mr. Tirek...”
Tirek stopped again, confused once more. “What the...?”
“Oh please, don’t have your way with me. There is no way I could fight back if you used your big manly arms.” Twilight landed on the ground with him. She turned slowly, exposing her rear slightly. A musk started to fill the air. “Oh, I am so helpless. What am I going to do?” Her eyes were closed halfway, looking at him with a turned neck. “Please, don’t tie me up or restrain me, unable to move at all...”
He raised his right hand, snapping his fingers to make the Elements of Harmony, along with Discord, appear back in view.
“And that’s what really happened...” Twilight shrugged, turning to look back at Tirek. “You all know what happened next.”
“But how? Why?!” Celestia asked, moving her own hooves out to point at the couple. “Why is he free?!”
Legolas was still tied up, but he decided to stay still and listen for a second. So far, he had learned much about couples and other things going on between the rulers. A theory was forming in his head, but he wasn’t sure yet. As an elf, he was privy to certain aspects of nature; trees and plant life in particular. But it was safe to say that he also had some knowledge over animal life and their behavior. Just a little more info, and he would have it.
Celestia, the ruler of the sun was dating Discord, who could very well be a god.
A changeling queen, dating a unicorn with powerful dark magic that even Twilight had problems with.
Twilight, the alicorn princess of magic was dating a centaur that at one point was even more powerful than Discord.
Princess Cadence, who married a captain of the guard. Certain he must be powerful...
Coincidence?
Was this imprinting? The elf turned to look at the couples again as they assaulted the strange couple with questions. Just, how rare were alicorns anyway? Was it because they are so rare, that they would imprint themselves to the strongest being they could? The only ones that they could consider equals with them? Animals in nature, certainly looked for the best possible mate they could so they could produce offspring. And Twilight, with all of that power in her...
Could it be that all of that power changed her mind set? Did that make Tirek the only possible partner she could ever hope to be on par with?
Bonus:
“So, did you ever see how big it was?” Chrysalis asked Twilight in a hushed voice.
“I left... A few parts out,” Twilight replied with a blush. Once again, her left forehoof drew circles in the ground.
“And?”
“I had to use magical binding on him so I could see it!” Twilight covered her face with both hooves, unable to bear the embarrassment.
Author's Note
Proofread by LyonAzakura
Am I the first one to pair Twilight with Tirek? Am I the first one to pair Tirek with anyone?
And there it is, a theory I had in my head.
Purple Pony Princess Possible Pairing Predicament
Chapter 1
Everywhere you looked, there was light that could burn into your retina. Light from the sun, gleams from the reflection from the crystals, illumination even from the coats of the crystal ponies. If one was not so much prone to daylight, it was almost mandatory to wear sunglasses. The snow and cold climate was not present in the main city, but not too far away from there it could be seen for miles. The Princess of Love, Mi Amore Cadenza, ruled the kingdom even though there was no election for her or her husband. Yes, clearly, the Crystal Kingdom was the perfect place for the Crystal Heart to spread love throughout Equestria.
Thanks to all this though, it should make sense that love institutions and the like were to be here. Fertility clinics, couple’s counseling, romance and erotic gift shops and the like. In fact, this was the one place that should have the one thing the persecuted needed:
Sanctuary.
This particular sanctuary was a new building, made from a large crystal close to the palace. It was run by none other than the Princess herself; a personal project of hers made long before she ruled the land of crystals. Unlike typical buildings in the kingdom though, the entire inside was covered by drywall, wallpaper, paint, furniture, and anything else that could hide the crystal from the inside. Originally, the business was made to help support un-orthodox couples. But now a link, if you will, between new and old worlds reuniting. The sign read:
Love Support Center.
Princess Cadence smiled, walking through the main entrance. While the outside was made of clear crystal, the inside was colored beige with red. There was a carpet and wood flooring, trying to simulate real ground. Furniture of mahogany and crystal could be seen at the front desk, with a crystal pony to greet everyone in.
“Hello, Princess!”
“Greetings, Heart,” Princess Cadence greeted the pony of red mane and white coat. “How goes the Center?”
“The new rooms are getting less and less populated!” Heart Rate cheered, eyes closed to squee. The new rooms of course, were to help creatures, not only ponies, to bridge the gap between time. Not only was technology off for crystal ponies, but culture such as holidays needed to be presented more in detail for those needing to merge with the modern world. Many that moved to the Crystal Kingdom also needed to learn their ways. And of course, the new couples being born from this transition needed support.
“That’s great news! That means the ponies will no longer feel alienated and they can go with their new lives.” Princess Cadence smiled herself, wondering how many still needed support.
“Other than that, we still have the unorthodox couples,” Heart looked down at her list. “The group meeting will start in a few minutes.”
“Is this the same as last time?” Cadence begun to walk down the hall to the left.
“We have two new couples...” Heart called out behind her.
“They didn’t want a one-on-one consultation first?” The alicorn had to stop walking, turning to look back at her receptionist. “Were they shy or-”
“Well, one couple insisted that they wished to do a sit in. See how you handled other couples first,” Heart raised her head up, frowning a bit.
“Well, it is understandable. Griffins and dragons have no idea just how my magic and methods work...” Cadence mused for a second, turning to look back at the room at the end of the hall. “And the other?”
“Well, the male was shy. He felt that a group would be better to settle himself and his mate.”
Princess Cadence shot both eyebrows up. Male? Mate? Keywords not used by ponies. And why would a shy male want a group? Wouldn’t a private consultation be better? “I see. I will go see them for myself.”
The Group Room was large enough to accommodate larger beings. Pillows and chairs were in a circle, letting beings select what they needed. Ponies and other quadrupeds creatures could use the multi-colored pillows to rest and relax, and the chairs for bipedal beings like minotaurs. The room was designed to accommodate almost all type of beings in fact- save dragons. The room was made in blue and brown, to simulate the earth and sky. At the moment, several couples were already in a circle.
“Well... normally I would say something clever but-” Discord stopped talking, both eyebrows raised as each arm pointed at the couple next to his right side.
“For once, we are in agreement,” Princess Celestia nodded, sitting at Discord’s left side. “Sister-”
“We are here for counseling, are we not?” Princess Luna said. The moon princess sat down next to her ‘special somepony’.
“But I had no idea you were into kinky fetishes,” Queen Chrysalis commented, eyes hidden behind her green hair a bit as she leaned her head away.
“Which... Is that thing a female?” Sombra asked, sitting next to the changeling queen.
They all were looking at what appeared to be a humanoid figure. It had fair skin, shoulder length hair, and wore green and brown clothes. There was a gag tied around the mouth, and rope was used to bound the figure’s ankles and arms. The rope was wrapped around his arms and chest, keeping him tied to a chair. The figure’s eyes looked back and forth, changing color from blue and purple as it struggled against the restraints.
“What is his name at least?” Celestia asked, her neck stretched out to look at the bound elf.
“Legolas,” Luna coughed once. She leaned in to the elf’s side and whisper. “Stop struggling. You are here to help me spy on Discord and Celestia.”
Legolas frowned, turning his head to look at the dark alicorn. He did calm down. “I’d better get my sandwich,” he thought to himself. The door opened with a magic field, making them all turn to look at the doorway.
“Greetings every creature and- WHO OR WHAT IS THAT GORGEOUS CREATURE?!” Princess Cadence called out. She stopped walking, looking at Legolas with eyes opened wide. “And tied up? Kinky...”
“That’s what she said,” Discord said, making Sombra chuckle. Chrysalis shot Sombra an angry glare, making the dark unicorn straighten himself.
“Niece, this is Legolas, my special somepony,” Luna opened her eyes a bit, peeved at how Legolas, even tied up, was so sexy.
“Oh *ahem* Please excuse me,” Cadence blushed. “I see who is one of the new couples joining us today.” She walked over to the group circle, smiling at them all. “But, why is he-”
“He *cough* wouldn’t come otherwise. He’s shy,” Luna quickly added.
“So that explains the look Heart gave me.” Cadence shook her head to the sides as all eyes were on her. “Did you all greet each other then?” Nods moved up and down, getting the meeting going. “Good, we just need the-”
“Sorry, are we late?”
“Twilight?” Celestia picked up her head, turning to look over at the door again. “You have a-”
“Oh yes! I am so happy!” Twilight walked in, moving her front hooves up in front of herself to clap as she flew in. “He’s perfect for me!”
“It can’t be Flash, he’s on guard duty. But who could-”
Princess Cadence was interrupted as Tirek walked in, trying to force himself through the doors. He was not in the tired, old form either. The centaur was easily over six feet in height and in muscle from, his white hair on head and chin grown out. His horns though, were not extended to mountain proportions. Everyone had their mouths open, turning to look at the noise of grunting.
“I told you this was stupid! I can’t fit through this door!”
“But counseling was your idea, honey!” Twilight called out, turning to look back at her coltfriend.
“Don’t call me honey!” Tirek roared out, taking a moment to stop struggling and look at the purple alicorn. He managed to get his head through the doorway, but got stuck at his wide shoulders. “Why are these doors so thin?”
“Would Officer Hot Pants be better?” Twilight purred out as she flew over to help him through the doors. He managed to get one arm in, then the other before he could make it through the door.
Tirek slapped his forehead and sighed. The others finally snapped out of their revelry, except for Legolas- who was still struggling against his bonds. He’s seen centaurs before.
“What have you done to my stu- er, former student, Tirek?!” Celestia shouted, moving to stand up and charge her horn. Princess Luna also stood, her own eyes turning white as a magic field gathered around her horn. Sombra and Chrysalis looked at each other, not sure what to expect.
“This time, I will not go easy on you! Have at you!” Discord was already to his feet, eyes in a frown as he made rubber chicken nunchaku appear in his appendages.
“I take it the betrayal is still fresh?” Tirek asked, eyebrows raised.
Author's Note
Proofread by LyonAzakura