The Saddest Sadfic Ever

by SilverStar7

Rating: teen
Tags: Random, Tragedy, Twilight Sparkle, Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Death, Main 6, Comedy
Length: 2748

Twilight returns home following Rarity's funeral. That's sad enough, but then more tragedy strikes in this sadfic satire.

Twilight returns home to her new castle after the funeral of her dear friend Rarity. Spike has run away in grief. What more could go wrong? But more tragedy strikes! Then still more tragedy!

Basically it is the worst day ever.

Many sad things happen. Everypony cries. Much feels.

---

This story is a parody/satire of sadfic works.

Published 2014-06-26 01:30:03 UTC
Last updated 2014-06-26 01:30:03 UTC

Many Sad Things

Twilight pushed herself into her new castle tree house. The bright, dazzling decor seemed to mock her as she entered. She had just lost one of her dearest friends and now her home had the audacity to be colorful. One of the chairs in the main hall, the one with blue diamonds on the back, was never going to be occupied again. It made the home feel much emptier.

The funeral of her friend Rarity had been difficult to attend, especially for Twilight. The seamstress had been the victim of a tragic accident, and the alicorn had been witness to it. Of course, Twilight tried to save her friend from the collapsing shelf of fabrics and sewing machines, but it was no use. All she'd managed to accomplish was getting the shelf to partially collapse onto her as well. The doctors had told Twilight she was lucky to escape with only a broken leg and wing - she didn't think losing her friend was all that lucky.

And after the funeral something dreadful had happened: Spike, in his grief, had run off to some unknown part of the Everfree. Of course Twilight wanted to pursue him, but she had a difficult time navigating a couple of steps since her accident let alone the forest. The wheels of her wheelchair sat idle now. No, she would not be making a rescue attempt. She just had to hope her little assistant would come home.

How tragically ironic that the injuries I sustained attempting to save Rarity now prevent me from going to save Spike! If I'd only managed to save the first, then I would be able to save the second. But had I managed to save the first, I would have no need to save the second. A catch-22. The height of all paradoxes.

Twilight began to weep in her new home. It was not the first time she'd wept here. She had wept the first night after its spontaneous construction in pain of losing her former home - a home she had lived in and loved for three years. She had wept here again after failing to help one of her dearest friends survive a sewing accident. And now she wept at the disappearance of her most faithful assistant.

A knock came at the door and Twilight gave a choked "Come in!" before bowing her head and staring at the puddle of tears that formed at the hoof of her wheelchair.

The door gave a light whine of its own as it allowed for the entry of Rainbow Dash. "Twilight," she said, in a somber tone. Everything had been somber as of late. Things were supposed to be somber when somepony had recently died. Twilight turned her head to face Rainbow Dash and she saw that her colorful friend's normally vibrant mane was covered in soot and ash.

"Rainbow!" she said, momentarily forgetting about the pain of losing her home and Rarity and Spike. "What happened?"

The pegasus flew closer and landed on the floor in front of Twilight. She stood there for a few moments, simply breathing and looking at the floor. The sound of her breathing was hoarse; clearly she had been breathing in smoke recently. Then her eyes closed violently and she shook her head wildly. "I can't tell you!" she shouted. And the crying came. Her tears collected with Twilight's on the ground to form a still larger puddle of despair.

"Rainbow, please, whatever happened I'm here for you. Tell me what happened."

"Fluttershy!" she blurted out and then resumed her sobbing.

Twilight's heart froze. She could no longer feel her limbs - the rest of her limbs, not just her broken leg - as she realized the worst possible explanation for Rainbow's behavior was the only possible explanation.

Two friends gone.

For a long while the two simply cried together. The pain was too much for words. It was honestly too much for their tears, but that was all they had to pour into the void that had entered their lives so suddenly. The tears may as well have fallen into a literal black hole for all the difference they would make to the pair's circumstances.

After a time, Rainbow did manage to speak again. It was in broken sentences between the whines of her agony, but she was able to tell the story. "Coming back from Rarity's funer--... the house was burning... the fireponies didn't see them... Fluttershy saw the kittens... I followed her... it was so dark... so hot... lost her... And she never came back out!"

While she could understand what Rainbow Dash was saying, she didn't comprehend it. All Twilight could think was, Two friends gone.

Another knock came at the door. It took a moment, but Twilight managed to yell, "Come in!" before she resumed her wailing.

This time the entrants were Nurse Redheart and Pinkie Pie. A Pinkie Pie with a mane so deflated there seemed to be no pink left inside - only a gray darkness that matched her sister's mane better than her usual cotton candied one. There were also two solid streams of water jetting from each eye. Not one per eye, but two per eye - that was just how sad she was. Clearly they had heard the news.

"I'm guessing you heard about Fluttershy?" asked Nurse Redheart sporting an uncharacteristic frown.

Twilight was glad she asked a yes or no question so that the mare need only nod her head instead of speak. There was no way she could speak at the moment.

"I'm sorry. I swear we did everything we could."

Again, Twilight could only muster a nod. She knew that Ponyville's EMTs would do whatever it took to save anypony. It was just a sad fact of life that not everypony could be saved. But why did it have to be Fluttershy? If anypony in all of Equestria deserved life it was that wonderful yellow pegasus. Nopony ever said life was fair...

"Tell them!" shouted Pinkie Pie. Her tears had formed a river which served as a tributary to the puddle-turning-pond that was the tears of Twilight, Dash, and Pinkamena.

Twilight inhaled sharply in a gasp as she looked up to Nurse Redheart. What could this mare possibly have to say that was not already said?

After a sigh, the nurse wasted no time in delivering her message. "I'm afraid there had been another accident today. When Applejack returned from the funeral she returned to work in the fields with her brother and, in her anger, she bucked a tree so violently that it fell on the both of them. Big Mac is in a coma and Applejack..." Redheart didn't say more, but there was no more that needed to be said.

Three friends.

There was a long silence. The remaining three friends had stopped crying. Perhaps they were all out of tears by this point. Pinkie had certainly cried enough for ten ponies. Twilight was pretty sure it was the longest time she had ever seen Pinkie remain quiet of her own accord. There was the paint drying incident and Trixie's mouth removal spell but those were not really of Pinkie's accord.

And of course it was Pinkie who eventually ended the silence.

"I'm just glad I could make my friends happy while they were still here," she said. Twilight looked up at her friend. The pink pony always tried to find the bright side of things. The idea of a bright side here hurt, but she knew it needed to be found. More darkness wouldn't bring them out of this abyss of misery.

"That was the promise I made to myself after I met my very first friend," Pinkie continued. "He was a little colt I met in a hospital and I wanted so badly to make him happy. He died in the end, but I'm glad I was able to make his last few days more enjoyable. Just because it hurts when our friends are gone doesn't mean it wasn't worth the effort. And I'll still try to make the rest of my friends happy for the sake of Rarity and Fluttershy and Applejack."

Twilight and Rainbow Dash nodded at the unexpected wisdom of their friend. Yes, the laughter and moments the six had shared were worth this heartache. No matter how big the heartache was. "Thanks, Pinkie," said Twilight. She didn't smile, but a part of her wanted to. Twilight was glad that part of her still existed.

Slowly and sadly, Pinkie began to sing. "My name is Pinkie Pie. And I am here to say. I'm gonna make you smile and I will brighten up your day..." Suddenly, the mare's tail began to twitch. She looked up to find that the organ from the Princesses' castle was falling on top of her. "Where did that even come from?" were her last words.

Nurse Redheart rushed over to the site of the accident and put a hoof on Pinkie's wrist only to shake her head and say, "She's dead."

Twilight thought she and Dash had expended all of their tears. Apparently they hadn't cried enough for that just yet. Soon the flood of the tears of the two winged ponies was large enough that it could have claimed the title of lake. Twilight wasn't sure how long it took, but Dash was the one who spoke next.

"Pinkie wouldn't..." Dash choked. "She wouldn't want us to be sad. She would want us to remember the good times."

Twilight nodded. There was no doubt that would be Pinkie's wish.

"It's like how I lost my dad from the human world," Rainbow said. "It was really hard at first, but after a while it got easier. I just remember the times he took me flying in the park, or when I would cuddle up in my chair and take a nap, or the time he brought me back home from that rainy forest and forgave me for running away."

"Rainbow..." said Twilight. "You weren't supposed to remember those things. I wiped your memory so you wouldn't have to suffer with the pain of that loss." And then Twilight had an idea. "And I can do that again. For your dad and for our friends. We don't have to be in pain anymore." Twilight wheeled around and made her way to the bookshelf of salvaged library books on the other end of the room. "I think I still have that book of memory spells. We can forget all about our friends and then we won't be so sad."

"But I don't want to forget!" Rainbow Dash protested. "Even if it's the most painful thing in the world, I don't want to forget my dad or my friends!"

Twilight shook her head. I know you don't want to... but I do. The loss of four friends was just too much for one mare to bear.

When Twilight found the book of memory spells she turned back to the room, only to find a white blanket with a lump under it resting in front of Doctor Horse, who had apparently entered. "I'm sorry," the stallion said. "There is nothing we could do for her."

Twilight didn't even bother to ask how it happened, or why Doctor Horse was there. She was sure that Rainbow had simply died of a broken heart. Twilight would probably be next unless she cast the memory spell soon.

But the door to the castle opened once more and Miss Mare came charging in, her grey mane was disheveled and she was lacking her usual collar. "Princess Sparkle!" She bowed and then continued. "I have just received word from the north. Apparently Sombra has survived the events of his defeat and has enslaved the Empire once more - including your brother and sister-in-law! Worse still, he has done this by joining forces with Queen Chrysalis! The two have moved into Equestria and have conquered Canterlot taking Princess Luna and Celestia prisoner! We need you to gather the Elements of Harmony before it's too late!" The mayor took time to catch her breath and waited for Twilight's response. It was not what she wanted.

"After the incident with Tirek," explained Twilight. "The power of the Elements resides directly with my friends and I. But since all my friends have died, we can't summon their power anymore. I'm afraid the Elements cannot help us."

Miss Mare gasped. "Your friends are--?" She then inspected the room and saw the collapsed organ and lumpy white sheet. "I'm so sorry! I had heard about poor Rarity but..."

Twilight gave a nod. "I know you didn't know." Then she gave a long sigh and there was a moment of silence before she spoke again. "Ever since I became an alicorn, I knew that I would outlive my friends. It is a sad side-effect of immortality. Princess Celestia warned me about it - I just didn't think I would need to experience it so soon." Twilight began to cough violently. Her whole body shook and she covered her mouth with both hooves.

The coughing attack lasted nearly two minutes. At the end of it, Doctor Horse said, "Princess. Is it possible that, now that your friends and the Elements, which allowed for your ascension, are gone, that you are..." He paused for a moment, then decided to finish his sentence. "That you are no longer immortal?"

The question caused Twilight to raise an eyebrow. "Why do you ask?"

The three ponies looked nervous. Nurse Redheart then pointed at Twilight's forelegs. The purple alicorn looked down at her limbs for inspection and saw that more than simply air had risen from her lungs during the coughing spell. Something red had also been expelled. "I see..." she said as the world spun around her. The floor slowly began to tilt until it hit her in the face and the wheelchair went sliding across the floor away from her.

"Princess Sparkle!" said Doctor Horse, rushing over to her side. Twilight waved him off.

"No, Doctor. It's alright." She coughed as the doctor, nurse, and mayor looked on their beloved Princess of Friendship. The world was getting strangely dim. Twilight thought the lighting in her castle was better than this. Spike would need to add more candles when he got the chance.

"Don't leave us," said Miss Mare, her glasses fogging slightly as the tears slipped down her muzzle.

Twilight coughed again and smiled. "Please don't think of this as me leaving you. Do you get upset at somepony when they go back home at the end of the day?"

Nurse Redheart shook her head. "I don't understand."

"Being with my friends," she said, "is the closest I've ever come to being at home."

And so it was that Twilight Sparkle, Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie, Applejack, Fluttershy, and Rarity all died together. It was fitting, as the six had been bonded together in fate ever since the fateful day of that fateful sonic rainboom that allowed them to discover their destinies on the same day. And so fate had decreed that their their destiny was to end life together as well. Six star-crossed steeds sadly succumb simultaneously.

The town of Ponyville mourned their loss. Yet there was no time for a funeral, as Sombra and Chrysalis took over. The pair reigned for over 1000 years. It was a dark time. And in that time all of the mane 6 were completely forgotten, so that no one even remembered them to be sad about them.

And that was sad.

The End

Author's Note

Well that escalated quickly... I hope you enjoyed this parody of sad stories.

This story contains some references to other fanfictions. Please note that I only directly reference fanfics I like. I want to be clear that I have nothing against sadfics; on the contrary, I wouldn't take the time to parody something I didn't enjoy. I think that parody and satire are an important part of any creative environment - writers must be able to laugh at themselves and look critically at their own work. If this gets a good response, I intend to write another piece which parodies Human in Equestria stories.

If you are worried about my other projects, I am continuing work on More About Time. If I do start on another parody work, it won't be until after I have a few more chapters out.