The Laughter of the Mad God
"Why are we even doing this? The ponies have done naught but shun us, calling us freaks" a night colored alicorn grumbled, blue magic curling around her, creating solid plates of armor around her. Azure metal covered her chest, flanks, forehead, neck, and legs.
"Because it is the right thing to do. Besides, how long will it take for the draconequus to bore of his game with them and come after us?" a pale alicorn debated, her own armor forming. Unlike the other's, it was golden.
"Tch, I hate it when you are right" the black alicorn smirked at her sibling. The elder responded with a similar grin before the two of them jetted off, the ground breaking underneath them as they took flight.
The Earth Pony screamed in pain as her once brown body slowly turned white and soft, bones and muscle breaking apart. She looked up at her tormentor with fear, tears weeping from here eyes.
"P-please, stop! I am begging you!" she sobbed as her once strong legs became floppy and squishy. A multi-colored aura surrounded her and brought her up to a grey, goat like face.
"Oh? But your cutie mark is some marshmallows, I thought you'd like them" the beast cackled, transforming even more of her body into marshmallow. The mare gagged, crimson liquid pouring out of her mouth as her internal organs began failing. A bit of the blood spattered onto the face of her torturer, causing him to frown. "Now that's just rude, spitting in the face of Discord" Discord snorted, wiping the phlegm off with a handkerchief and clenching his fist. The Earth Pony let out an ear splitting wail of pain as her entire body turned white and soft, a marshmallow. Discord snapped his fingers and his jaw distended like a serpent's, allowing him to gulp down the pony. His neck bulged before the sweet treat melted in his throat. "Hmm, maybe I should melt the next one" Discord muttered pensively, tapping his chin. Suddenly, his ears twitched and he felt a tingle at the back of his head. "Discord senses tingling" the draconequus mumbled, looking out towards the horizon. "Better give them a warm welcome" the spirit grinned, his body disappearing in a flash of light
"What is this madness?" Luna sputtered, dodging a particularily persistent cloud of cotton candy that was chasing her.
"We're getting closer to his range of influence!" Celestia responded, firing a golden beam of light from her horn and vaporizing the cloud. The elder of the two looked down, her face sorrowful. Ponies below were in a horrible state, some being tortured, others running for their lives. The one constant was discord, everywhere.
"He is an unholy abomination of nature" Luna spat, she herself repulsed by the horrors below.
"How dare you accuse me of such things? I am not of nature! Check your privilege, you are oppressing me" a mocking voice jeered, seemingly everywhere.
"Where?!" Celestia gasped, looking around for the source of the threat. Suddenly, both alicorns felt as if the weight on their bodies had increased ten fold and the two plummeted towards the ground, smashing into the Earth with little reprieve.
"Things got heavy there" the voice called and about a meter from the two alicorns stood a freakish beast. He stood 8 feet tall with a mish-mash body of goats, deer, ponies, dragons, gryphons, lions, ducks, crocodiles, and snakes.
"Spare us your jokes, trickster" Luna hissed, getting up slowly. It still felt like there were tons on top of her. Discord smirked at their difficulty and snapped his fingers, taking the weight away.
"Sorry, I don't think you two got the gravity of the situation? HAHAHAHA, GET IT?! GRAVITY?! HEHEHEH!" Discord cackled madly, falling on his back and rolling like an immature child.
"Are you sure this is the one we need to depose? He looks harmless" Luna murmured to Celestia as the more powerful sister got up.
"I'm wondering the same thing" Celestia replied, keeping a way eye on the draconequus. Their doubts were shattered when Discord, snapped his fingers, materializing a shaking foal in his hands.
"Sorry about that, I just get the giggles" Discord chuckled, causing the poor foal to start crying. Then it began laughing with Discord. The foal laughed and laughed, tears flowing from its eyes as Discord dropped it.
"What did you do?!" Celestia snarled, her face contorted and teeth gritted as she glared at Discord. The poor foal continued his cackling, his chest ceasing to rise and fall as he began to lose air.
"Laughter is the best medicine" Discord joked darkly in reply, a mad grin present on his face as the foal stopped moving completely.
"YOU ARE A MONSTER!" Luna roared, a sword of teal magic forming at her side as she charged Discord. She slashed down with her sword, expecting to cleave the creature in half. There was a crack. Then, her sword shattered, nothing more than a candy cane. Luna looked at the candy cane in horror, stepping back to join Celestia's side.
"What is he?" the two sisters said in unison, eyes wide and feeling fear crawl up their bodies.
"I am Discord, spirit of Chaos and Disharmony. Now, just to make things fair, I'll let you take a free shot" Discord snickered, creating a target on his chest. "But only one" he cautioned, holding up one claw.
"We'll have to use full power" Celestia growled, getting a nod from Luna. A crackling aura surrounded them both, Luna's teal, Celestia's golden. The ground shook as their auras sparked, releasing more power. Discord filed his nails, not even caring about their power-up. "Your act innocent, but you're deadly" Celestia snarled as their power-up finished, shaking the ground itself.
"DIE, MONSTER!" the sisters bellowed, putting their horns together and firing two massive beams, one blue and one yellow, coiling each other as they flew towards Discord.
"Wh-" Discord started before the beam engulfed him, tearing the ground near him to shreds and flying towards a mountain, where it exploded with a loud crash. The mountain was still intact, but there was a decent hole punched through it.
"Huff, huff...heh" Luna chuckled, breathing harder than before. She wasn't completely tired but it was certainly a work out. Luna turned to smile at Celestia, realizing that her elder sister was frowning.
"Something's not right" Celestia mumbled before the ground where Discord stood began shifting, pieces of fur and flesh reforming together before their eyes. "I-impossible" Celestia stammered as Discord stood once more, looking murderously angry.
"That was not nice" Discord snarled, teleporting behind the two sisters and grabbing them by the skulls. "Not at all!" he hissed, power flowing through his finger tips. The alicorns shrieked in pain as they felt their minds be violated by the spirit
"NO!" Luna roared, kicking out and knocking Discord away, freeing them from his grasp. Their bodies had been turning grey, but quickly turned to normal without the chaotic influence. The powerful ponies nodded at each other before charging forward at Discord.
Celestia fired a beam of magic at the draconequus, vaporizing his lower body. Discord sneered, merely regrowing his lower half. His sneer dropped as Luna blasted his nape from behind, sending him flying. Discord flipped in mid air and turned his stomach into a parachute, stopping his flight.
"Harvest time!" Discord cackled, massive spiked carrots bursting out of the ground to try and impale the alicorns. Celestia flew upward to avoid them while Luna teleported behind Discord once more. This time though, Discord was ready for her. A second face appeared on the back of his head and blasted noxious gas out of the mouth, stopping Luna's assault. Discord flew through the smoke, his neck extending to headbutt Luna and send the pony flying into a tree. Celestia flew in from above, showering Discord with an energy barrage.
"BEGONE!" Celestia screamed, sweat running down her body while hundreds of golden beams rained down on Discord. She heard a pop and Discord was suddenly in front of her.
"Stop choking around, you'll never beat me" Discord snorted, snapping his fingers and conjuring a vicious python, coiling Celestia's neck. The alicorn choked indeed, falling towards the ground, her armor useless to protect her from being strangled. "Having fun? Speak up" Discord chuckled, lowering his head to Celestia's, seeing her slowly die. His glee was interrupted by a blue beam rocketing past him, killing the python. "NO, SLINKY!" Discord wailed before turning to see a battered Luna challenge him.
"You won't hurt her" Luna snarled, covering her body in her blue aura and launching forward, shoulder tackling Discord. The spirit staggered back, eyes red and bulging from rage. Luna created a blue axe and swung it, only or Discord to raise his hand, turn it to metal, and shatter it by blocking it. Celestia attacked from behind, creating a scythe and slashing Discord's arm off. No blood ran from the wound, just multicolored magic reattaching his arm.
"You need a hand? Okay!" Discord giggled, his neck twisted at an impossible angle as he did so. He teleported, placing two bags on the alicorns. "Pop goes the weasel!" Discord laughed, snapping his fingers and making the gunpowder bags explode. "Ah, I love me some fireworks" Discord chuckled, letting the smoke clear and smirking when he saw his foes were alive, if incredibly weak. Celestia was covered in burns, having tried to shield Luna. Luna was also hurt, but not as badly. "Good, I don't like breaking my toys so early" Discord grinned maliciously.
"Begone fiend!" Celestia growled, somehow managing to muster up an explosion of solar flames below Discord. Discord merely cackled madly, pressurized water shooting out of every pore in his body. Not only were the flames somehow extinguished, it stung Celestia and Luna, shredding their armor and tearing their skin. Then the water stopped and Discord conjured a towel, drying himself off.
"H-he's been toying with us the entire time" Luna realized, trying to get up, be strong like her sister.
"Bingo! Your prize? You get rid of that tacky alicorn magic" Discord smirked, snapping his fingers. In a flash, Luna and Celestia were the size of a regular pony, their flowing manes gone. "Hehe, what game should I do next?" Discord pondered, scratching his head with his tail. He noticed Celestia, now with a pink mane, try to stand up and fight. "I know, smack around the pathetic wimp!" Discord said, eyes turning dark as he created a baseball bat and smashed her to the ground once more with a sickening crack. "Time for sudden death" he giggled, preparing to do one last swing when Luna jumped in the way, tears in her eyes.
"I-i won't let your hurt her" Luna hissed, trying to look intimidating. Discord got rid of his bat and fell over, laughing like the maniac he was.
"Hohohoh, as if you could stop me?! But I like a good joke, so tell you what, I'll let you two go! You're too much fun to kill or torture. Gold star!" the spirit babbled, giving them back their flowing manes, size, and power along with slapping a gold star on their chest.
"See ya next time" Discord cackled as he snapped his fingers, teleporting the broken and battered demigods back to their castle
