Rainbow Dash and the Feather Flu Vaccine
“This is so dumb,” Rainbow Dash grumbled as she fumbled through the large manilla envelope. “I already got accepted into the Wonderbolt Academy! Why do I have to do all this other stuff all of a sudden?”
Twilight rolled her eyes. She had filled out reams of academia-related paperwork in her life, and as a result failed to feel even an ounce of pity for her friend. The initial application for Celestia’s School for Gifted Unicorns had been bigger than all the Wonderbolt-related paperwork Rainbow Dash had filled out in her life. The enrollment forms alone were so massive that they had been delivered in a box. It made the piddly little packet that Rainbow Dash was complaining about look like connect-the-dots. And yet there she was, coming to the library for help.
“Come on, Dash. There’s only seven or eight forms in here. And for half of them all you have to do is sign your name.” She snatched the envelope away with her telekinesis and began sorting through it. “Look! It even comes with a checklist! When I applied for school I had to make my own!” She began to lay the forms on the table in neat rows.
“Let me guess, your checklist was longer than the application?”
Twilight eyes darted back and forth nervously. “No.”
“I just don’t see what the point is. They know I can fly already!” Rainbow Dash crossed her forelegs. “Why should I bother with of all this?” She pounded her hoof on the table, sending the meticulously-organized paperwork askew.
“It’s just to make sure everything is ready for you when you get there.” Twilight pointed at one of the papers. “See? This one says that they need to get your measurements so they’ll have a flight suit ready for you.”
“That’s cool, I guess,” Rainbow Dash admitted. She imagined herself in a flight suit; she looked awesome. “I’m pretty sure Rarity can do that for me.”
“See? That’s one item practically done!” Twilight scribbled something on her list. “I’ll give it half a check, since you have to actually get them from Rarity first.”
“That isn’t too bad.” Rainbow Dash nodded. The prospect of wearing an official Wonderbolt suit excited her. “What else is there?”
“Mostly just forms,” Twilight said as she flipped through the papers. “Waivers, insurance, emergency contact information. Oh, and they want a copy of your latest medical forms. You know: weight, food allergies, past injuries, vaccination records—”
The color suddenly drained from Dash’s face. The image of herself in Wonderbolt regalia shattered. “What was that last thing?”
“Vaccination records.” Twilight held up the paper. “See? It says ‘In order to ensure the health and wellbeing of the Academy, any and all cadets wishing to enroll must provide proof of feather flu vaccination.’ You’ll just need to drop by your doctor and ask for a copy. Shouldn’t take long.”
“Y-yeah,” Rainbow Dash mumbled. “That shouldn’t be a problem at all. I mean, the doctor would totally have a copy of that because I totally have gotten a feather flu vaccination and everything.”
“Rainbow Dash,” Twilight slapped the papers down on the table. “Please don’t tell me that you haven’t gotten vaccinated.”
Rainbow Dash didn’t tell her, instead biting her lip and looking away.
“Seriously?” The volume of Twilight’s voice made Rainbow Dash cringe. “You got angry at Thunderlane for catching Feather Flu, when you didn’t even bother to avoid catching it yourself?” Twilight shook her head in disbelief. “You probably gave it to him!”
“Come on, Twilight! It’s not like I really need it or anything. I just have to keep away from sick ponies, and make sure I wash my hooves before I eat.” She mimed the action. “See? No big deal.”
“You realize that Feather Flu can also be airborne, right?”
“It can?” Rainbow Dash’s eye twitched. “Okay, then. I’ll just get one of those face mask thingies!” She snatched up the doily that had been decorating the table and held it over her mouth. “Problem solved.”
“Somehow, I don’t think that the Wonderbolts are going to be convinced by that,” Twilight said, shaking her head. “Just get the shot. It’s cheap, and it only takes about five minutes. You can be done with it before lunch. Why are you going to so much effort to avoid it?”
“I’m not!” Rainbow Dash declared. “It’s not a big deal at all. It’s just… inconvenient. You know, a pain in the butt.”
“And wearing a mask all the time is any less inconvenient?” Twilight asked. “I know you can be lazy, but you’re just making more work for yourself. We’ll take care of this, and then head over to Carousel Boutique to get you fitted for your flight suit. It’ll be fun!”
“Fun?” Rainbow Dash turned away, flicking her mane indignantly. “I’m no dictionary, but I’m pretty sure that getting a shot doesn’t count as fu—hey!” She found herself sliding towards the door. She looked back to see that Twilight’s telekinesis had a firm grip on her tail.
“I know it’s a hassle, Rainbow Dash, but the sooner you do it, the less of a problem it’ll be!” Twilight’s voice sounded gratingly chipper. “Let’s go get you that shot!”
“Fine,” Rainbow Dash wrenched her tail out of Twilight’s grip, and stomped past her out the door. “Let’s go.”
“You know what?” Rainbow Dash said. “Maybe we should go see Rarity first. Yeah. And then get lunch.”
“Why? We’re already here. No point in wasting time going back and forth across town.”
Twilight gave Dash a shove towards the door. It was labeled with a large sign reading “Ponyville Medical Clinic. Doctor Stable, licensed physician.” Rainbow Dash was certainly no stranger to the place. Her more experimental training techniques had a tendency to end with her stopping by the hospital. Fortunately, she rarely found herself having to stay for more than an X-ray or two. She was tough like that.
Normally the bright, shiny windows and colorful flower beds gave the place a vaguely homey look. Today was different. The entire place seemed overcast and gloomy. Odd, considering that Rainbow had personally cleared the skies earlier that morning. The wide double doors looked more mouth-like than usual, and Rainbow Dash could swear that the windows were frowning at her.
“Come on, Dash,” Twilight said, oblivious to the dark aura that surrounded the place.
Dash set her hooves against the ground. “No!”
“What do you mean, ‘No’?” Twilight gave Rainbow another shove. The pegasus’s hooves left furrows in the dirt as she resisted.
“I mean, ‘No, I’m not going in!’ And I’m not getting a shot either!”
Twilight stopped shoving, and Rainbow Dash flopped to the ground. “What’s gotten into you?” she asked. “I know you procrastinate a lot, but this is ridiculous! What’s the problem?”
“It’s just… I… that… uh…” Rainbow tapped her forehooves together as she tried to think of something to say. “They just… they’re going to…”
Twilight stared at Rainbow Dash, puzzled. The puzzlement only lasted a moment. “You’re afraid of needles, aren’t you?”
“No! Of course not!” Rainbow Dash said, shaking her head violently.
Twilight sighed. “You aren’t fooling anypony, Rainbow.”
“So? Who’s trying to fool anypony?” Dash stood. She did her best to fill her voice with confidence. “Not me!”
Twilight glared at her with narrowed eyes. “Have you been hanging out with Applejack?”
“Huh?”
“Because she’s a terrible liar, and it’s rubbed off on you!”
“Okay, fine!” Rainbow Dash plopped down on the ground. “I- I don’t like needles, okay? They’re just really… pointy. And then they stick you with it…” She shuddered. “It just freaks me out a bit, that’s all. I haven’t gotten a shot since I moved to Ponyville.” She glanced despondently at the sign. The large red cross emblazoned on it looked redder than usual. “Guess that’s gonna have to change, huh?”
“If you want to enroll in the Wonderbolt Academy without committing fraud, yes.” Twilight sat next to her. “I know it’s a bit scary. I don’t really like getting injections either, but in the long run it’s what’s best for you. Do you even remember what it was like the last time you got one?”
The memory began to float to the surface, but it was muddled. The only clear image was shiny and pointy. “I remember that it hurt, and I don’t want to do it again!”
“You know what I think?” Twilight asked. She sounded a little bit like a stern teacher.
“What?” Rainbow Dash said flatly.
“I think you’re just letting your memory get the best of you. You had one bad experience and you’re remembering it as way worse than it actually is!” She stood. “It’s not pleasant, but it’s really not that bad, especially not compared to some of the stuff you’ve been through.”
“What do you mean?” Rainbow mumbled, not looking at Twilight.
“Well, you’ve broken your wing, crashed through the library window, crashed into a tree so hard that your face came out the other side, and even got smacked in the face by a manticore!”
Rainbow Dash just stared back at her. “And how is that supposed to make me feel any better?”
“Because it means that you’re tough. Most ponies would spend weeks recovering from just one of those things, but you never let any of them stop you!” Twilight patted Rainbow Dash on the back. “If something like faceplanting into the side of a mountain barely slows you down, a little poke in the rump shouldn’t even phase you!”
“A poke in my what?!” Rainbow Dash leaped to her hooves. “Oh, no. Not happening. Nopony is touching my rump.”
“And here I thought we could be mature about this.” Twilight rolled her eyes. “I suppose you could forget about going to the Wonderbolt Academy just to avoid a few moments of pain. Personally, I don’t think it’s worth it, but it’s your decision.”
Rainbow Dash took a deep breath, and let it out slowly. She closed her eyes.“I’m going to do it! I’ve dreamed of being a Wonderbolt ever since I was a filly, and I’m not going to let some stupid needle get in my way!” Her eyes snapped open, and the sun seemed a little brighter.
“That’s the spirit!” Twilight clapped her hooves.
“Yeah!” Rainbow Dash continued. “Even if they mess it up the first time, and have to do it again! And again. And… uh…” she bit her lip and turned to Twilight. “Are you sure they don’t have a vaccine in pill form?”
Twilight groaned and put a hoof to her forehead. “No, they don’t. Just… try not to think about how it could go wrong. They’re professionals and they know how to give a shot. Think about how in fifteen minutes from now, you’ll be done with it, and there won’t be anything between you and the Academy.”
“Right.” Rainbow Dash nodded. “Let’s just get it over with, and then I won’t have to worry about it anymore!”
“Great!” Twilight grinned. “Let’s go!” Her horn shimmered for a fraction of a second before a bright purple flash exploded around them.
Rainbow Dash blinked the spots from her eyes and found herself standing next to Twilight in the clinic’s waiting room.
“What did you do that for?” Rainbow Dash gasped. Her heart felt like it had nearly jumped out of her mouth.
Twilight shrugged. “I thought that you might try to turn around again. Why don’t you go sign in? It doesn’t look very busy.” She nodded at the rows of chairs that lined the room. The only other occupant was an old stallion who seemed to have fallen asleep, and a sniffly filly who sat next to her mother. Twilight nudged Rainbow Dash towards the counter.
“I’m going, I’m going,” Rainbow Dash mumbled. She cleared her throat as she approached the counter. “I… I’m here… for the feather flu vaccine,” she said softly.
“Welcome to the Ponyville Clinic!” the receptionist said brightly. Her mane was piled on top of her head, and her large glasses rattled as she spoke. “Is this your first time here?”
“Uh, I was here for a broken wing a few months ago,” she muttered. “My name is Rainbow Dash.”
“Ah, yes. I remember now!” The receptionist began to rummage around in one of the many file cabinets behind the counter. “The doctor told me about you. Something about slippers.”
Rainbow Dash frowned. “I didn’t steal any slippers!”
“Of course you didn’t.” She held up a thick folder. “Alright, here’s your information! I just need you to check to make sure everything is up to date! We’ll call you when we’re ready.”
“O-okay.” Rainbow took the clipboard and took a seat next to Twilight.
Twilight watched in silence as Rainbow started to fill out the paperwork. Surely Dash would be able to get through this. There would be difficulty, of course. The main issue was time; even when the office was as empty as this, it would probably be a while before Rainbow’s turn came around. More than enough time for Rainbow to think a little too hard about syringes and give herself the chills. The paper work certainly wouldn’t be sufficient to keep her occupied. She’d have to think of some way to—
“Rainbow Dash!” the receptionist called. “Please wait in exam room 3. The doctor will be with you shortly.”
Twilight couldn’t believe it. She had never spent so little time in a waiting room. She shrugged. Less time for Rainbow Dash to worry. “Go on,” she said, giving Rainbow a nudge. “You’ll be fine.”
Dash swallowed hard, but resolutely strode towards the exam rooms.
Rainbow Dash had never liked hospitals. Or doctor’s offices. Or taking Tank to the vet. Even stopping by the local pharmacy to pick up vitamin supplements made her a bit uncomfortable. Something about the smell. It was too clean. There was nothing wrong with being clean, of course, but this was different. The smell wasn’t the smell of a freshly mopped kitchen or soap or a bubble bath or even a freshly scrubbed bathroom. It was too harsh; the odor burned.
Medical facilities weren’t cleaned, they were sterilized. She didn’t really like the notion that things happened here that required sterilization. Especially since a pony’s mere presence in such a place meant that something was wrong.
Then there was the silence. Sure, she could hear muffled voices out in the waiting room, but other than that it was all beeps and some sort of odd sucking noise that she really didn’t want to think about. It was probably all the warm air being sucked out of the room. She was freezing her flank off. Then the door opened suddenly, and she nearly jumped out of the chair.
“Good morning, Rainbow Dash!”
“G-good morning, Nurse Redheart,” Rainbow Dash managed. It wasn’t the first time they had met. Rainbow Dash tended to show up at the clinic on a regular basis, typically to get a quick X-ray or scan of her brain to make sure that her latest failed stunt practice hadn’t permanently damaged anything. Against all odds, nothing had stopped her so far.
“This is new,” Redheart said as she looked over the chart. “You haven’t injured yourself. That’s good.”
“Yeah, I know,” Rainbow said flatly.
“And you’re here for a feather flu vaccine?”
Rainbow Dash nodded sullenly.
“Well, that’s good, too. According to your chart, you’ve never had one before. We wouldn’t want Ponyville’s top flyer to get sick!”
“No, we wouldn’t,” Rainbow Dash mumbled. “So… uh…”
Redheart looked up from her clipboard. “Yes? Do you have a question?”
“Yeah, about this feather flu shot. How does… I mean…” She cleared her throat. “Okay, okay. On a scale of one to a ten, just out of curiousity, how much would you say getting a feather flu shot hurts.”
“Ah.” Redheart smiled slightly. She had seen this a hundred times before. Granted, she generally saw it with fillies and colts, but it certainly wasn’t unheard of for mares and stallions to have misgivings. “I won’t lie and tell you that it won’t hurt, but it really isn’t that bad. It just feels like a quick pinch, that’s it. I’ve been doing this for years, and everypony has been just fine.”
“Right.” The reassurance made her feel a little better, but it didn’t make the needle any less pointy.
“Now, if you’ll just lay on your stomach here,” Redheart patted the cushioned exam table, “we can get this over with.”
Rainbow Dash’s legs shook as she turned her body and laid down. The table was cold, of course, and it made her shiver more.
“Very good,” Redheart said. “Just a moment.”
Rainbow Dash heard rolling. No doubt it was that metal tray thing she had seen by the door. She heard paper ripping and some sort of rattle.
“Now, Rainbow Dash,” Redheart said, “I need you to hold still, okay? Can you do that?”
Rainbow Dash nodded, but kept shivering. She tried not to think about how she was about to be stabbed in the butt with a sharp piece of metal.
Out in the waiting room, Twilight leafed through a four-months-out-of-date magazine.
I wonder how Rainbow Dash is doing, she thought.
As if on cue, a barely-restrained screech echoed from behind the door of exam room 3.
“EEYAAAHHHHHH!”
Guess that answers my question.
“That hurt!” Rainbow Dash gasped. She had leaped right off the exam table and was now hovering above it.
“I didn’t even give you the shot!” Redheart held up her hoof, which held only a small alcohol wipe. “I was just cleaning the injection site!”
“Oh.” Rainbow Dash descended sheepishly to the floor. “Whoops.”
“You really are jumpy, aren’t you?”
Rainbow Dash looked away. “Maybe just a little. I guess I should get back on the table.”
“Yes, that would be helpful.” Redheart sighed. “Just a moment.” She went to the door and poked her head out. “Doctor Stable, I need your… assistance with a vaccination.” The tone of her voice gave Dash the impression that she was speaking in some sort of code.
A moment later the Doctor stepped through the door. He was a unicorn, and in his telekinesis he held an assortment of lollipops and a box of brightly colored band-aids. “Did somepony need my—” he stopped as he noted that Rainbow Dash was not a filly. “Ah. I see. What seems to be the problem?”
“She’s just a little bit nervous,” Redheart said. “I can hold her steady while you give her the shot.”
“You’re going to hold me down?” Rainbow Dash exclaimed.
“You did a flip off the table!” Redheart said in exasperation. “Do you know what could happen if you did that while getting the shot?”
Rainbow Dash thought for a moment. Then her face paled. “Ouch.”
“Do not worry yourself,” Doctor Stable said as he opened a new pad. “Everypony gets a bit antsy. I’m sure you’ll do just fine!”
“I’m not,” Rainbow Dash mumbled. She tried and failed to avoid looking at the syringe and bottle sitting on the tray.
“I have all sorts of tricks for helping anypony through this,” the doctor continued. “Starting with not watching.”
Redheart took hold of Rainbow Dash’s head and diverted her stare. Then the nurse put a foreleg on her back and leaned. Rainbow Dash covered her ears so that she couldn’t hear the sounds of Doctor Stable readying the syringe that he was about to stab her with.
“Don’t worry, he’s just disinfecting the spot,” Redheart said.
Her voice was loud enough that Rainbow Dash could hear her. She nodded dumbly as she felt the alcohol pad on her butt. The smell burned her nostrils a little.
“Now then,” said Redheart. “Here’s what we’re going to do. The shot really only feels like a pinch, so Doctor Stable is going to pinch you a few times, just to get you ready, okay?”
“O-okay,” Rainbow Dash managed, her throat dry. She wasn’t exactly sure that pain was really the best way to prepare herself, but now wasn’t the time for questions. She tried not to think about what was going on.
“Now, you just keep looking straight ahead,” Redheart continued. “Doctor Stable?”
The doctor nodded at her. “When I give you the shot, it’ll just feel like this.”
“Ouch!” Rainbow Dash twitched as he pinched her. It was a sharp, pointed pain, but she managed to hold still.
“Or this,” he continued.
“OW!” Rainbow fought the urge to squirm. Pinching wasn’t that painful, but she preferred not to be in pain at all.
“Or this.”
This time she just gritted her teeth and grunted. “Can you just get it over with already?” she mumbled. “Just give me the shot!”
Redheart giggled.
“What?”
“I already did,” said the doctor.
Rainbow Dash felt Redheart release her. She looked back over her shoulder to see Doctor Stable holding up the now-empty syringe.
“That last pinch, wasn’t,” he said as he dumped the needle into the waste box.
“You tricked me?” She snorted. She was glad to have the thing done, but couldn’t help but feel a bit embarrassed. “What am I, a filly?”
The doctor paused for a distressingly long moment. “Of course not.”
Redheart giggled as she rummaged through the band-aid box.
“Oh, whatever. It’s done now,” Rainbow Dash grumbled. “Just give me the paperwork and let me out of here.”
“See, it wasn’t that bad!” Twilight said as they walked down the street towards the Boutique.
“Yeah, I guess it wasn’t that bad. Aside from them treating me like a foal,” Rainbow Dash mumbled. She trotted a few steps behind Twilight, still feeling a bit embarrassed at how troublesome the whole process had been.
Twilight rolled her eyes. “And the lollipop?”
“Hey, it was free. I’m not going to turn down free candy.”
“What flavor is it?”
“Blue raspberry.”
“A fine choice.” Twilight nodded. “And the Daring Do bandaid?”
Rainbow Dash twitched, sure that she had kept that hidden under her tail. “It was the only one they had, okay? It’s not like I asked for it.” That was true, mostly. Nurse Redheart had given her the choice between Daring Do and the Photo Finish Filly Brigade. The former was the only viable option. The bandage even had Ahuizotl on it.
“Sure you did,” Twilight said, obviously not buying it.
“I’m just glad to have it out of the way,” Rainbow Dash said in an attempt to change the subject. “Now there isn’t anything standing between me and Wonderbolt Academy!”
“But you still have to go to Rarity to get fitted, remember?”
“Okay, nothing pointy is standing between me and Wonderbolt Academy,” she said. “Everything from here on is gonna be a piece of cake!” She leaped into the air and did a celebratory flip. “You know what I could go for right now?”
“What?”
“Ice cream!” Rainbow Dash grinned widely. “You know, to celebrate getting that vaccine.”
“Really, Rainbow Dash?” Twilight shook her head, but she couldn’t help but smile as she did. “I thought you didn’t want to get treated like a filly. What am I, your mom?”
Rainbow Dash crunched down on what was left of her lollipop. “I guess you’re right,” she admitted. For a moment, she was quiet. “I still want ice cream, though.”
“We’ll have time for ice cream later. Right now, you have to get your measurements taken.” Twilight stopped. They had reached the boutique. “We’re here. Rarity will be expecting us.”
“Aw, yeah!” Rainbow Dash burst through the door and posed triumphantly. “It’s Flight Suit Time!”
Rarity poked her head out from the tangle of cloth she was in the process of turning into a gown. “I’ll be right with you!” she called. “Just take a seat for a moment while I finish this up. Just be careful not to sit on a pincushion.”
“Pin… cushion?” Rainbow Dash’s eyes darted around the room. She had never noticed just how many pins and needles were scattered around Rarity’s work space. In fact, the entire boutique seemed to be a slurry of pillowy fabric and pointy things. And then there was the needle that Rarity gripped in her telekinesis, flying wildly through the air, stabbing through the fabric. Rainbow Dash swallowed.
At least Rarity won’t try to jab me.
Author's Note
I don't like needles either.
