The Science of Pony Deduction

"So...why are you here?" Via asked grumpily, a frown on her face.

"I have orders from Princess Celestia to bring these two here to stay at your residence, for they cannot stay in the castle." the guard said, he looked annoyed, and fidgeted slightly, like he wanted to get this over with.

"WHAT?!  Stay...at my house?!  Why can't they buy a house, or rent one?!" she yelled, staring daggers into guard, a scowl on her face.

"You know perfectly well that we need to save every bit on the current war, and, to tell the truth, they don't want to waste money on our guests." he said, he was leaning his head forward to Via, who growled at him!  He snapped his head back, with a look of pure disgust on his face.  Sherlock and John stood idly by, looking at the two.

"Fine, I'll take them." she said, relaxing her face into a vacant stare, she was about to turn back into her hous, when the guard stopped her.

"Wait!  Princess Celestia told me to give you this letter containing information about our guests that will be necessarily if they are to stay with you." he said, back to his regular guard tone of voice.  Via took the letter, and then a smirk grew on her face.

"Thank you for your assistance, Gilded Shield." and walked back into her house, letter in hoof.

"Gi- IT'S GOLDEN.  GOLDEN SHIELD." he yelled into her house, Via turned to look at him, producing a fake smile.

"ugh...like I said, be careful." he said to the two, beaten.  He then slunk off, grumbling to himself.  Sherlock and John crept into Vias' home, heads down.

The house was simple on the inside, to the right, there was two brown couches on each side of a coffee table.  On the left, there was a small,and a bit dirty, kitchen.  The cabinets where plain oak wood, and the counters where slate.  Via stood next to the couch furthest away from them, and said,

"Welcome, to Casa de You-Shouldn't-Be-Here!" she said sarcastically, and then her face softened.  "Don't be afraid of me, by the way, Gilded Shield just hates my guts.  Don't blame him though." she sat on the couch, and opened the letter, and skimmed through it.

"Nice to meet you, I'm John Watson, and this is Sherlock Holmes." he gestured to Sherlock, who was staring at the house, and grunted.

"Strange names, but it says here that you guys are from a different dimension, neat." she said, and then threw away the note.  John sat on the couch, and Sherlock followed.

"You've been awful quiet, you know." said John. looking at Sherlock strangely.

"I am trying to figure out what Via's cutie mark is." he was staring at it, and John noticed it to, it was a big red splotch, and the middle of it was two gears intertwined with each other.

"I admit, it was tricky for even me to figure out when I got it, so I'll tell you.  Many ponies think that the red blotch is paint, actually, it's blood, I specialize in solving murders, and I love the really bloody ones.  The gears mean I'm a tinkerer, which I am.  Usually I don't tell this to other ponies, because it creeps them out, but because it says that you are a...consulting detective and an army doctor in the note, I thought it would be okay to tell you." she smiled a bit, and looked at their surprised faces.

"You specialize in murders...bloody murders...nice." said Sherlock, who cracked a smile for a second.

"Oh yes, I am one of few detectives in Canterlot, so when they chicken out because it's too complicated, or too bloody, they fetch me, and poof!  Case solved." her eyes flickered mischievously, as if she was browsing through past cases.

"interesting, how did you get into solving murders...especially bloody ones?" asked Sherlock, leaning forward, deeply interested in Vias love for such things.

"After my mother was brutally murdered." she said plainly, John and Sherlocks eyes widened. "Enough with this, I'll give you a tour of the place." she said, and got up.

The two followed her up some stairs a few feet next to two doors on the floor, that obviously led to the basement.  Up the blue wool carpeted stairs, was two doors.

"Your room will be here, and yes, you will be sharing a room, but I have two beds." she opened the door to a pastel blue room, with two beds on each side of the room.  There was one window on the far side of the room with gray drapes.

"You don't have much furniture here, is there a reason?" Sherlock asked, looking around the dull room.

"Times have been tough for lots of ponies ever since the war." she said softly.

"How long has this war been going on, and with who?" John asked.

"With Griffonia, which is east of Equestria, Lord Kian doesn't do anything, so General Faznik basically runs the place, and is about as war-like as you can get.  Even though Celestia tried to prevent warfare, eventually there was no choice but to fight.  It's been going on for two years now, and ponies are getting real sick of it.  Celestia is now trying to turn to Draquina for help, but so far, they haven't responded." Via said, she then stepped out of the room and stood next to the second door.

"This, is my room, you do not enter my room unless I say you can, moving on."   She trotted lightly down the stairs again, the wood underneath creaking, she stopped at the door to the basement.  "Considering you will be staying here for a while, I think it is only fair that I let you come into my basement." she said, sighing, as if it was a horrible chore.  "Let the questions begin." Via said sadly.  She opened the door, creaking, she walked carefully down the slightly rotted wood steps.

"I've barley entered and it's already creepy." said Sherlock, his eyes darting around the pitch black room as he finished climbing down the steps.  The floor was made of concrete, and Via stepped to the side of the steps where the light switches where, and flicked one on, half of the basement lit up.

"Man, it stinks in here!" exclaimed John, he tried to hold his nose, but it was hard with hooves.

"Smells like...flesh." Sherlock said.

"You're smart." Via said blandly.

The right side of the basement was like a library, shelves upon shelves of books, Via walked over to them.  "They're mostly physiology and biology books, so If you don't like those subjects, you aren't reading any of these, I studied it for a long time, it helped me with solving murders.  I couldn't afford to go to high school so I became self taught." she said, eyeing the books for a few seconds.

"huh, when did you start studying it?" John asked looking at all of the books, until one caught his eye, and he scooted towards it.

"Since I was thirtee-HEY!  Don't you DARE touch that book, ya know what happens if you touch that book?" she said menacingly, John stepped away from them book.

"Um...it explodes?" he said, looking at Via worriedly.

"An exploding book?  That would be completely impractical, it probably has some sort of secret info or something like that." said Sherlock.

"this happens." she said.  She drew an imaginary line across her neck, and then her head flopped to the side, eyes closed and tongue sticking out.

"You'll kill us?!" said John, leaning his head away from her.

"Hehehe." she said, giving John an evil smile.  However, she quickly turned back to normal, and stepped to the light switches again.  "You where asking about the flesh smell, right?  Well, here's your answer!" she said, a crazy smile on her face.  She lit up the second half of the basement, and they gasped.

On the wall, there was a plain old stake, how it stayed on the wall was unknown, but that wasn't the problem.  On the stake, was a head.  Yes, a head, it was cream, like Johns fur, and it had dull, curly red hair.  And it was smiling, the head was smiling and evil grin.

"Is that...a head?" John squeaked, and jumped when he saw the large blotch of dried blood at the bottom of it.

"Can't you see him?" Via asked, confused.  Why did ponies always point out the obvious it's sure rainy today.  It's almost Hearts Warming Eve!  bla bla bla.  Then she saw Sherlock inspecting the dried blood at the bottom of it, and star quizzically at it.

"This blood has been here for at least two years...so how is it that the head is perfectly preserved?" he looked at Via.  finally there's somebody who is asking the right questions!

"Unicorn magic, took a while to hire somepony to enchant it, because everypony thought it was creepy.  If only I wasn't an Earth Pony." she complained, rolling her blue and yellow eyes.

"But...wha...who is it?!" John said, he cringed,  a head in the fridge was bad, but somehow this was worse.

"His name is Irek, but he likes to be called Shot." she said bitterly.

"Okay then, but who was he?" Sherlock pushed for more.

"My brother." Via said quietly, biting her lip.

"Oh...I...um..I'm sorry?" said John.

"Ohh...oh nonono, don't be sorry, he deserved every last bit of it." she said, glaring at the head.

"Huh? "Ever last bit of it"?  What do you mean?" John asked, a shiver crawled up his spine, and he scratched his head in confusion.

"I killed him." she said sweetly.

"WHAT?!" John yelled, he stepped back, wide-eyed.

"Well, I sent an assassin, but he's still alive." she said, giving John a reassuring glance.

"What do you mean, "He's still alive."?!  His head is right here!" exclaimed Sherlock giving Via a wild look.

"It's a fake head, got real blood, real DNA, but it's just a copy, he's still out there though."  Vias eyes darkened and a scowl formed on her face.

"What did he do to make you send out an assassin?" asked Sherlock, now intrigued by the strangeness of this.

"He's a murderer, he killed my mother, and he's been killing ever since, all over the place.  I haven't seen him in years, he hasn't made his move yet.  It's a fun game we play, If I catch him, and kill him, I win, If I find him, and he kills me, I lose.  Simple." she said, smirking.  "Enough of that, let's move on." she said and trotted over to an old fridge.  It was emitting an absolutely horrid smell, and John wrinkled his nose.  "I don't recommend opening this fridge, the last person who did, fainted.  The fridge is broken, and it holds all of my experiments." she said, smiling a bit.

"Experiments, huh?" what kinds?" asked Sherlock.

"Biology, all sorts of biology, from anatomy to things you really don't want to know about." she said, but then her eyes trailed from the fridge to a small table, and on that table, was a small gun, with a single bullet next to it.  Sherlock noticed she was staring at it, and asked,

"What type of gun is that?" he had never seen it before, and was surprised how much it resembled a gun back at home, there was little change to it to accommodate to hooves.

"There is no official name, but most call it a S.G.  I always keep it here, just in case I need it, most ponies will judge you if they see you with one.  Most cities have made it illegal to sell one, for its bad reputation.  It took me forever to find, because it's really unpopular.

"Why so?" asked John, examining the gun.  "It isn't cheap, its a high quality gun, why is it so unpopular?" he added, poking it with his hoof.  Via looked down at the floor, ashamed.

"Because S.G stands for Suicide Gun." and, with her head down, Via walked back up the stairs, without another word