The Science of Pony Deduction

by Mosaic Lore

Rating: teen
Tags: Crossover, Dark, Romance
Length: 6907

Sherlock and John have been transported to Equestria! Living with a crazy mare searching for her dead brother, secrets are revealed, and mysteries are solved

Sherlock and John fall through a portal into the magical land of Equestria. The princesses reluctantly let them stay with a psychopath mare named Via. Via desperately searches for her homicidal brother…who is already dead?! Her dark secrets are revealed, and strange killings have been occurring, and Sherlock discovers things that where never meant to be discovered.
(See that romance tag? Only some romance but I thought it was worth mentioning)

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2014-06-08 15:59:22 UTC

The Portal, and a Bumpy Ride

"What the hell is that?!" exclaimed John, stepping back a bit, his back brushing the curtain.  The thing was purple, blue, and had some hints of green, swirling endlessly in a circular motion.  Sherlock stepped closer to it, almost hypnotized by it.

"I have no idea."  he said quietly, he bit his lip in concentration, analyzing it.

"Well what do you think it is?" asked John, if Sherlock doesn't know what it is, then what could it be?  A portal?  He pushed the absurd thought to the back of his mind, such things where not possible.  He looked at Sherlock, and saw he mumbled a sentence under his breath.

"What did you say Sherlock?" he asked him.

"I said, I need a cigarette." Sherlock blandly said, frustration welled in John, he stepped toward him, but then cringed when he stepped in a large water puddle.

"Urrgh, how could you be talking about cigarettes when we found a thing that could revolutionize the world as we know it!  We need to do something other than just sit here!" John yelled, his voice echoing through the empty alley.  He shook the water out of his shoe, and crossed his arms at Sherlock and gave him a hard stare, he is so difficult when he is like this, thankfully, John has been stern these past few days and have not let him have a single cigarette.

"You're right John, no use staring at it, time to get dirty." replied Sherlock, shaking his hands and stepped towards the thing, he had a mischievous sparkle in his eye similar to one of a child about to steal some candy.  John gawked, did Sherlock just admit he was wrong?  He didn't stop to think about it and walked beside Sherlock as he walked so close to it that there was only a few inches from it and his face.  Sherlock noticed that it was emitting some heat, so it is using up energy somehow, which explains the glow, but not the colors.  It gleamed and the noise that came from it was too quiet that they could have heard it a block away, which puzzled him.  Sherlock gulped, and John stood wide-eyed, Sherlock lifted up his hand, and  tapped it.  His hand when right through!  Sherlock jerked his hand back, little bits of purple materializing.

"What?!  It has the consistency of water!  There's a wall right behind it!" he said, John stepped back, speechless.  Sherlock then thrust his entire arm into the thing!  His entire arm started to tingle, and he removed it again.  Silence filled the air, and then John broke it.

"Do you think...it goes anywhere?  Like...a portal?" asked John quietly.  A crisp wind blew through the alley, ruffling their hair.

"Probably, but it reeks with horse." said Sherlock, and twiddled his thumbs.  Then a wide grin spread across his face, and gave John a wild look.

"But wherever it goes, I hope it has cigarettes!" he yelled and then jumped right into it!  Purple sparks flew everywhere as it engulfed Johns friend, a gurgling sound arose as the waves on it calmed down.

"SHERLOCK?!?!?" screamed John, his entire body was shaking, did he just lose his friend?  John gulped, well, if he does survive to go wherever it goes, there needs to be somebody to keep him out of trouble.  John held his breath, didn't Sherlock say it was like water?  He closed his eyes, and rammed head first into the portal.

It was indeed like water, he started falling through the stuff, he opened his eyes and screamed...wait..he could breath this stuff?  His entire body started to ache horribly, John cried out, he felt as if he was being torn apart.  Purple and blue swirls where all he could see, and then his head hit something hard and he blacked out.

A Strange World

"Ugh...note to self...never...ever jump into portals again." Sherlock moaned, his entire body ached, and his head was throbbing especially badly from the fall that obviously left him unconscious.  His entire body felt strange, but he couldn't quite put his finger on why.  Sherlock still had his eyes closed, thus failed to notice the three alicorns standing at the doorway of the room he fell in.  They where whispering to each other, and giving nervous glances, and when Sherlock started to open his eyes drowsily, Twilight started speaking to him.

"Uh..oh!  You're awake!  Hello, and welcome to Equestria, we know that you have come a long way...and we want to welcome you and we are glad to answer any of your questions!"  Twilight fidgeted, and looked to Celestia and Luna, who exchanged nervous glances.  How should they approach this?  This was the first time a human came into the pony world!  Sherlock opened his eyes, and saw the three ponies standing in front of him, they where obviously the ones who spoke, for the volume is just right, and there is nobody else in the room/

. "Why are there talking equines?" he asked, staring wide-eyed at the three, it was impossible that they could speak!  Then again...he just fell through a portal, but this is still crazy!

"Oh!  Well, first of all, we are ponies, and in Equestria, well, ponies are the main sentient creatures, however there are others." answered Celestia, and smiled softly.

Sherlock decided to stand up to meet these "ponies" eye-to-eye, but he wobbled and fell down.  What?  He looked down at himself, and gawked.  He no longer saw Sherlock Holmes, he was a pony!  His...fur...was gray blue, Sherlock used his hooves to pull down is hair(mane?) to his eyes, still black and curly.  He looked to his back, where a curly black tail lay on the ground, and then noticed something even stranger, he had wings!  Sherlock lifted one, then the other, then put them back down to his side, he was surprised he didn't notice the feathers against his body, he touched his pointing ears, it would take a while to get used to this.

"This is...strange."  Sherlock commented, he furrowed his eyebrows, how was this possible?  How was any of this possible?

"You are taking this quite well." said Luna, who looked at him funny, and sifted to the side, her wings airing themselves out.

"Oh!  Where are our manners, I am Princess Luna, this is my sister, Princess Celestia, and this is Princess Twilight Sparkle." Luna gestured to the three when saying their names, and then Twilight stepped forward.

"Who are you?" the purple mare leaned her head towards Sherlock.

"Sherlock Holmes, consulting detective."  Sherlock tilted his head away from Twilight, and then proceeded to stand up with some difficulty, for he had been standing on two legs for his entire life.  He lifted his legs up and down to get used to the feeling, and walked around the brightly-decorated room for a bit.  He then stopped and thought for a second, why wasn't he deducing anything?  He looked at the three alicorns, but failed to deduce anything!  He then mind-slapped himself for not noticing it.  He was experiencing completely foreign bodies, body language, and culture, deducing ponies will be impossible without some research on them.

"Sir, did you happen to bring a friend along?  We found a small-ish earth pony with you, but he was bleeding a bit, so we sent him to the hospital wing for some bandages." asked Luna.

"Ah, yes, I guess he jumped into the portal with me, he always tags along like that." replied Sherlock, he smirked at Johns loyalty.

"Well, then, mind you, while we are heading to the hospital wing, you will attract quite a bit of attention from walking beside princesses, so I hope you don't mind it." Celestia said, she gestured for Sherlock to follow them out of the purple wooden door, Sherlock stepped out and his eyes widened at the sight before him.

There where thousands and thousands of shelves of books surrounding him, he looked up and saw multiple floors similar to the first one.  There where tables and chairs of mahogany, and he could see about 40 ponies, most where...unicorns, which surprised him.  Also, there where pegasi, which apparently he was, and there was the occasional regular pony.  They where all different colors of the rainbow, with a variety of mane styles and exotic eye colors.  He analyzed that most of the unicorns looked very high-class and had their noses in the air, the pegasi where the most casual, and the regular ponies where mostly organizing the books as a job or looking at the many paintings that lined the walls, and only a few actually read.  He concluded that unicorns where most likely to be high class, pagasi are the middle class, and regular ponies are low class.  He saw Twilight fidgeting a bit and her eyes where darting around the expansive room, obviously yearning to read the books.  Sherlock also noticed something very strange, he noticed before that the princesses had marks on their rumps, Celestia a sun, Luna a moon, and Twilight six sparkles, he thought that maybe they where a sign of monarchy, but all of the ponies had them!  All classes had these strange marks, and when he was staring behind him at a purple mare with a piece of paper with notes on it for her mark, he noticed some color behind his wing.  He stopped, thus the princesses did to see what was wrong, and lifted his wing to peer at it...he had one too!  It was simple, a magnifying glass...queer.

"What are these marks?  On everybody's rump?" He asked.

"Oh!  Those are called cutie marks you see, the signify what a ponies special talent is!  It usually appears around the age of 8-12, when you discover what your special talent is, poof!  It appears, quite interesting in fact, there is a whole study on it, called cutiology." answered Twilight, her eyes shimmering with the need to share knowledge.  They just appear?  Thought Sherlock, he looked at his cutie mark.

"Yours looks like it might be in investigating, or something of that sort, analyzing?  Maybe?"  Twilight thought aloud, they had left the library, and where going through a series of corridors, one of which held a hall of paintings of "Ponies That Shaped Equestria" as stated by the plaque at the entrance to the hall.  He ignored them, he was not interested in pony history.

"Well, here we are!"  Luna said, and she opened a white door with a red cross at the center, and some red swirls lining it.  She opened the door, and entered.

The room was mostly white, but had some pastel yellows and blues for the curtains, letting in natural light.  The patients mostly had minor injuries, though some had broken horns and limbs.

"Sherlock!  Oh I am so glad you're alright!" said a cream pony with a short gray-blond mane and tail.  He had a camo cross for his cutie mark, but had some bandages across his head.

"John?  Well then, how are you?"  Sherlock tried to be as nice as he could.

"This place is amazing!  They can cook!  And clean!  And work!  Withhooves!" he exclaimed, a broad smile across his face.

"Yes yes, it's all wonderful, buuut, we need to get back home, so, please, would you show us to the portal thing so we can head back?"  Sherlock turned to the princesses, who gave each other nervous glances, Celestia walked up to him.

"Well, you see, it isn't that simple,  the portal that you entered through...is dormant, we don't even know how you got here through the portal, we have tried to activate it before, but we failed.  You will have to stay here..." she said, her eyes filled with sadness, Sherlocks ears flopped down, and Johns jaw slacked.

"We can't go home?" John asked quietly.

"Don't worry though, we will gather all of the ponies we can to try and find a way to open the gate, however, you will have to stay here for at least a month." said Celestia, she straitened herself up, and then gestured for the two stallions to follow the three alicorns into a room a couple of hallways down, Celestia looked like she was about to say something, but John interrupted,

"Wait, before you say anything, your highness, if we are going to stay so long, where will we stay?" he asked urgently.

"That is exactly what I was a about to say, John, usually we would let guests stay in the castle, but letting complete strangers that nopony has heard of would cause attention from the media and controversy, to avoid that, we are going to have to find somepony who you can stay with."  Celestia said nervously, she looked at the other princesses, and then stepped back to them, the turned their backs to John and Sherlock and started talking, the stallions remained silent, trying to hear what they say.

"You know...we could set them up to stay with Scripture..."

"She is too young to do that...still a student."

"Forte?"

"He's on a tour with Octavia."

"Well...we could always let them stay with V-"

"Woah, no, she is crazy, completely insane, she killed somepony."

"And she was proven not guilty!"

"That's because-"

"Shush, it has already been settled that she is not guilty, socializing her can do nothing but help her, I worry for her, she is my closest ally, you especially Twilight, should agree that getting her to socialize would be good.

"Sigh, I guess so, but if anything goes wrong, they are out of that house."

"Agreed."  the three alicorns turned to face the wide-eyed John and curious Sherlock, still silent.  They followed Celestia, Luna, and Twilight out of the room, and started walking, John and Sherlock walked up beside Celestia as she addressed them.

"You two will be staying with Via, she is a little...unstable, but I believe you can handle her.  There will be a guard to escort you to her house, because a chariot would be a bit suspicious, they should be arriving any minuet."  She stopped, they where in the main hall now, it was decorated very colorfully, as the rest of the castle, which was starting to bother Sherlock.

"Whats with the decoration" he said quietly to John.

"Don't be impolite, it's their choice, maybe it has something to do with their culture." John replied.

"I've tried to be polite this entire day, I am getting sick of it." Sherlock said through gritted teeth.  The princesses exited as a silver stallion with a blue mane and tail, he wore no uniform, and his cutie mark was a golden shield.

"Come with me please." he said plainly, and the two followed him out of the door.

Sherlock and John squinted in the sudden brightness, and then gawked at the view, the city they where in was fabulous!  Exquisite shops and fancy ponies in high-end clothes, fancy hair, gems of all types lined the city streets.

"What city are we in?" asked John.

"Canterlot, the capital of Equestria, isn't it a gem?" replied the stallion, he then turned left, and started to gallop.  John and Sherlock followed, and they noticed that the further they went, the less and less fancy the city became, Sherlock looked up, to see if it where to snow, for it was terribly cold.

"What month is it?" he asked the guard.

"February, Hearts and Hooves day is almost here!" he said with a smile.  Hearts and Hooves day?  Probably the equivalent of Valentines day.  Ugh.  Then he noticed the pegasi moving the clouds around, and that all of the activities suggested it was in the afternoon, but the sun was still high in the sky!

"Why are there pagasi moving the clouds around?  And why is the sun still strait up when it's in the afternoon?" Sherlock asked.

"The pegasi manage all of the weather in Equestria, and Celestia raises the sun, and Luna raises the moon, so the moon and sun don't move until they want them to.  I knew you where from far away, but I am still surprised you don't know this stuff."  The stallion looked at  the two strangely, and then slowed down to a brisk trot.

"Huh." John said, and then continued to look at all of the ponies, shopping, dancing, talking, eating, eating.

"What sort of stuff do you eat here?" he asked, his stomach growled a bit.

"Well, you know, the usual, carrot dogs, dandelion sandwiches, hay fries, the coffee and pankcakes are really good there."  He pointed to a cafe with a brown banner that said "Cocos' Comfort Foods"

"What's the currency you use here?" Sherlock asked, he was staring at the shimmering things the ponies where passing to each other.

"We use bits, they are just little gold coins, but sometimes ponies except jewels for payment instead, man, you have a lot of questions." he said.  The slowed down when the stores and houses grew more and more apart, now each building had about five feet in between them.  The guard stopped at a little brown house with a blue roof, the only windows where on the side, the paint was cracking, and the roof shingles where falling apart.

"Tsk, tsk, she really needs to take care of this place more often." he commented, but then faced the two with a serious look on his face.

"Okay, look, let me give you some advice, I know you will be living with Via, but try not to talk to her, or be near her, avoid her, please, she's dangerous.  In my opinion, the only place she belongs is in a madhouse." he said, his voice shaky.

"I'm considered a psychopath, so I think I can handle her." Sherlock said, his head held high.  Though as the guard went up to knock on her door, John whispered to Sherlock,

"Are you sure we can handle her?"

"I have no idea." he replied.  The guard knocked on the door three times, and stepped sideways as John and Sherlock stepped close to the door.  There was noises of crashing and swearing, and sounds of hoofsteps coming closer, and the door opened.

She was a light cream mare, lighter than Johns coat, and had one yellow and one blue eye.  Her brown, curly mane flew all over the place, and was tangled horribly.  However this was not the most striking feature about her.  All over her face had three bruises, she also some cuts, deep cuts, like she was sliced with a knife kind of cut.  She had bags under her eyes, and her ears had some cuts to.

"Wha do you want?"

Via

"So...why are you here?" Via asked grumpily, a frown on her face.

"I have orders from Princess Celestia to bring these two here to stay at your residence, for they cannot stay in the castle." the guard said, he looked annoyed, and fidgeted slightly, like he wanted to get this over with.

"WHAT?!  Stay...at my house?!  Why can't they buy a house, or rent one?!" she yelled, staring daggers into guard, a scowl on her face.

"You know perfectly well that we need to save every bit on the current war, and, to tell the truth, they don't want to waste money on our guests." he said, he was leaning his head forward to Via, who growled at him!  He snapped his head back, with a look of pure disgust on his face.  Sherlock and John stood idly by, looking at the two.

"Fine, I'll take them." she said, relaxing her face into a vacant stare, she was about to turn back into her hous, when the guard stopped her.

"Wait!  Princess Celestia told me to give you this letter containing information about our guests that will be necessarily if they are to stay with you." he said, back to his regular guard tone of voice.  Via took the letter, and then a smirk grew on her face.

"Thank you for your assistance, Gilded Shield." and walked back into her house, letter in hoof.

"Gi- IT'S GOLDEN.  GOLDEN SHIELD." he yelled into her house, Via turned to look at him, producing a fake smile.

"ugh...like I said, be careful." he said to the two, beaten.  He then slunk off, grumbling to himself.  Sherlock and John crept into Vias' home, heads down.

The house was simple on the inside, to the right, there was two brown couches on each side of a coffee table.  On the left, there was a small,and a bit dirty, kitchen.  The cabinets where plain oak wood, and the counters where slate.  Via stood next to the couch furthest away from them, and said,

"Welcome, to Casa de You-Shouldn't-Be-Here!" she said sarcastically, and then her face softened.  "Don't be afraid of me, by the way, Gilded Shield just hates my guts.  Don't blame him though." she sat on the couch, and opened the letter, and skimmed through it.

"Nice to meet you, I'm John Watson, and this is Sherlock Holmes." he gestured to Sherlock, who was staring at the house, and grunted.

"Strange names, but it says here that you guys are from a different dimension, neat." she said, and then threw away the note.  John sat on the couch, and Sherlock followed.

"You've been awful quiet, you know." said John. looking at Sherlock strangely.

"I am trying to figure out what Via's cutie mark is." he was staring at it, and John noticed it to, it was a big red splotch, and the middle of it was two gears intertwined with each other.

"I admit, it was tricky for even me to figure out when I got it, so I'll tell you.  Many ponies think that the red blotch is paint, actually, it's blood, I specialize in solving murders, and I love the really bloody ones.  The gears mean I'm a tinkerer, which I am.  Usually I don't tell this to other ponies, because it creeps them out, but because it says that you are a...consulting detective and an army doctor in the note, I thought it would be okay to tell you." she smiled a bit, and looked at their surprised faces.

"You specialize in murders...bloody murders...nice." said Sherlock, who cracked a smile for a second.

"Oh yes, I am one of few detectives in Canterlot, so when they chicken out because it's too complicated, or too bloody, they fetch me, and poof!  Case solved." her eyes flickered mischievously, as if she was browsing through past cases.

"interesting, how did you get into solving murders...especially bloody ones?" asked Sherlock, leaning forward, deeply interested in Vias love for such things.

"After my mother was brutally murdered." she said plainly, John and Sherlocks eyes widened. "Enough with this, I'll give you a tour of the place." she said, and got up.

The two followed her up some stairs a few feet next to two doors on the floor, that obviously led to the basement.  Up the blue wool carpeted stairs, was two doors.

"Your room will be here, and yes, you will be sharing a room, but I have two beds." she opened the door to a pastel blue room, with two beds on each side of the room.  There was one window on the far side of the room with gray drapes.

"You don't have much furniture here, is there a reason?" Sherlock asked, looking around the dull room.

"Times have been tough for lots of ponies ever since the war." she said softly.

"How long has this war been going on, and with who?" John asked.

"With Griffonia, which is east of Equestria, Lord Kian doesn't do anything, so General Faznik basically runs the place, and is about as war-like as you can get.  Even though Celestia tried to prevent warfare, eventually there was no choice but to fight.  It's been going on for two years now, and ponies are getting real sick of it.  Celestia is now trying to turn to Draquina for help, but so far, they haven't responded." Via said, she then stepped out of the room and stood next to the second door.

"This, is my room, you do not enter my room unless I say you can, moving on."   She trotted lightly down the stairs again, the wood underneath creaking, she stopped at the door to the basement.  "Considering you will be staying here for a while, I think it is only fair that I let you come into my basement." she said, sighing, as if it was a horrible chore.  "Let the questions begin." Via said sadly.  She opened the door, creaking, she walked carefully down the slightly rotted wood steps.

"I've barley entered and it's already creepy." said Sherlock, his eyes darting around the pitch black room as he finished climbing down the steps.  The floor was made of concrete, and Via stepped to the side of the steps where the light switches where, and flicked one on, half of the basement lit up.

"Man, it stinks in here!" exclaimed John, he tried to hold his nose, but it was hard with hooves.

"Smells like...flesh." Sherlock said.

"You're smart." Via said blandly.

The right side of the basement was like a library, shelves upon shelves of books, Via walked over to them.  "They're mostly physiology and biology books, so If you don't like those subjects, you aren't reading any of these, I studied it for a long time, it helped me with solving murders.  I couldn't afford to go to high school so I became self taught." she said, eyeing the books for a few seconds.

"huh, when did you start studying it?" John asked looking at all of the books, until one caught his eye, and he scooted towards it.

"Since I was thirtee-HEY!  Don't you DARE touch that book, ya know what happens if you touch that book?" she said menacingly, John stepped away from them book.

"Um...it explodes?" he said, looking at Via worriedly.

"An exploding book?  That would be completely impractical, it probably has some sort of secret info or something like that." said Sherlock.

"this happens." she said.  She drew an imaginary line across her neck, and then her head flopped to the side, eyes closed and tongue sticking out.

"You'll kill us?!" said John, leaning his head away from her.

"Hehehe." she said, giving John an evil smile.  However, she quickly turned back to normal, and stepped to the light switches again.  "You where asking about the flesh smell, right?  Well, here's your answer!" she said, a crazy smile on her face.  She lit up the second half of the basement, and they gasped.

On the wall, there was a plain old stake, how it stayed on the wall was unknown, but that wasn't the problem.  On the stake, was a head.  Yes, a head, it was cream, like Johns fur, and it had dull, curly red hair.  And it was smiling, the head was smiling and evil grin.

"Is that...a head?" John squeaked, and jumped when he saw the large blotch of dried blood at the bottom of it.

"Can't you see him?" Via asked, confused.  Why did ponies always point out the obvious it's sure rainy today.  It's almost Hearts Warming Eve!  bla bla bla.  Then she saw Sherlock inspecting the dried blood at the bottom of it, and star quizzically at it.

"This blood has been here for at least two years...so how is it that the head is perfectly preserved?" he looked at Via.  finally there's somebody who is asking the right questions!

"Unicorn magic, took a while to hire somepony to enchant it, because everypony thought it was creepy.  If only I wasn't an Earth Pony." she complained, rolling her blue and yellow eyes.

"But...wha...who is it?!" John said, he cringed,  a head in the fridge was bad, but somehow this was worse.

"His name is Irek, but he likes to be called Shot." she said bitterly.

"Okay then, but who was he?" Sherlock pushed for more.

"My brother." Via said quietly, biting her lip.

"Oh...I...um..I'm sorry?" said John.

"Ohh...oh nonono, don't be sorry, he deserved every last bit of it." she said, glaring at the head.

"Huh? "Ever last bit of it"?  What do you mean?" John asked, a shiver crawled up his spine, and he scratched his head in confusion.

"I killed him." she said sweetly.

"WHAT?!" John yelled, he stepped back, wide-eyed.

"Well, I sent an assassin, but he's still alive." she said, giving John a reassuring glance.

"What do you mean, "He's still alive."?!  His head is right here!" exclaimed Sherlock giving Via a wild look.

"It's a fake head, got real blood, real DNA, but it's just a copy, he's still out there though."  Vias eyes darkened and a scowl formed on her face.

"What did he do to make you send out an assassin?" asked Sherlock, now intrigued by the strangeness of this.

"He's a murderer, he killed my mother, and he's been killing ever since, all over the place.  I haven't seen him in years, he hasn't made his move yet.  It's a fun game we play, If I catch him, and kill him, I win, If I find him, and he kills me, I lose.  Simple." she said, smirking.  "Enough of that, let's move on." she said and trotted over to an old fridge.  It was emitting an absolutely horrid smell, and John wrinkled his nose.  "I don't recommend opening this fridge, the last person who did, fainted.  The fridge is broken, and it holds all of my experiments." she said, smiling a bit.

"Experiments, huh?" what kinds?" asked Sherlock.

"Biology, all sorts of biology, from anatomy to things you really don't want to know about." she said, but then her eyes trailed from the fridge to a small table, and on that table, was a small gun, with a single bullet next to it.  Sherlock noticed she was staring at it, and asked,

"What type of gun is that?" he had never seen it before, and was surprised how much it resembled a gun back at home, there was little change to it to accommodate to hooves.

"There is no official name, but most call it a S.G.  I always keep it here, just in case I need it, most ponies will judge you if they see you with one.  Most cities have made it illegal to sell one, for its bad reputation.  It took me forever to find, because it's really unpopular.

"Why so?" asked John, examining the gun.  "It isn't cheap, its a high quality gun, why is it so unpopular?" he added, poking it with his hoof.  Via looked down at the floor, ashamed.

"Because S.G stands for Suicide Gun." and, with her head down, Via walked back up the stairs, without another word

Letters

“Well then...”

“How about we don't talk about this, okay Sherlock?”

“Yeah...”

                                                                    -10 mins later-

Sherlock and John where sitting on the couch, having a debate on whether or not the portal was actually a time machine and sent them forward in time in which all humans are dead and ponies evolved.  However Sherlock then pulled out a world map and pointed at where they where, Equestria.

“It is extremely improbable that there would be literally no signs of human life, and a complete absence of humans in history or lore.” said Sherlock, crossing his arms and giving John a confident look.

“Well then, why is it that they have no asked a single question about what is was like where we lived?” countered John, smirking.

“Ahem,“We have already sent Princess Twilight Sparkle through the portal into the human world.”” said Sherlock in a mock Celestia voice.

“Don't be disrespectful Sherlock!  Princess Celestia is the monarch of this society, and it doesn't help that we have no idea what kind of society it is!”  John said angrily, Sherlock was about to object, but suddenly, there was a crash, for somepony had crashed into the door! A pitiful yelp made John stand up and rush towards the door, with Sherlock not far behind.  John quickly opened the door, and saw a little gray mare with a blond mane sitting on the ground and covering her face over her hooves.

“Owww.” she said softly, and sobbed.

“Oh my goodness are you alright?!” said John worriedly, he knelt down to the pony, Sherlock watching from behind.  John gently removed the mares hooves from her face, who squeaked.  Her eyes where closed, and blood ran from her nose.

“Can you open your eyes for me?  I need to see they're alright.” he said.  And the mare slowly opened her eyes, John was surprised when he saw the two yellow eyes, each facing a different direction.

“Wh-”

“D-don't ask about my eyes, I was born with them, I can't help it.” she said, and then got up, as did John.

“Here, I'll get you some tissues” he said, and quickly ran back into the house, and ran back, and gave her the tissues, which she dabbed her nose with, tilting her head forward.

“Dank you sir, my name is Ditzy Doo, by the way.  I'm a mailmare, and here are your letters!” she said, pride in her voice.  Apparently it was a great accomplishment to deliver mail.  She handed John two letters and then fidgeted and flew off.

“The poor thing, quite nice, by the look of it to.”  John said, and then walked inside, trying to keep his balance with only three hooves, the fourth holding the letters.

“Give me those letters, I need something to deduce.” Sherlock said, grabbing the letters.

“We really should give those to Via!”

“Not now, deduce first.”  Sherlock took out a pure white envelope with a pretty purple seal with three diamonds on it.  Sherlock examined it, and then announced his deduction.  “Ahem,  this paper is obviously high-class, however, there are small crinkle marks on it, purposely smoothed out.  Thus the owner has money but not enough to waste perfectly good paper.  The seal on the note that informed Via about us had a seal to, it was yellow and had a sun on it.  Princess Celestias cutie mark was a sun exactly like it, thus, seals are usually that of the owners cutie mark.  And because the cutie mark resembles a ponies special talent,  the owner either works with jewels or incorporates them into their work professionally.  Thus likes fashion, there is a purple hair stuck under the adhesive of the mail, it is especially long and curly, and I have not yet seen a stallion with a mane near the length, thus our sender is female, also adding on the perfume scent for further evidence.  How did I do?” she asked non-nonchalantly.

“As amazing as ever.” John said wide-eyes.  “But really, we should give this to-”

“AAGH,  BLEHK.  Dammit it's all over me!  Stupid thing!” yelled Via from upstairs, Sherlock stood up.  Suddenly, there was a large clatter of metal.

“What's going on up there?” asked Sherlock to himself as he stomped up the stairs, after handing John the letter, accompanying the other one, he sighed and tried to follow Sherlock up the stairs as quickly as possible without dropping the letters.

Sherlock slowly opened the door, and his eyes widened at the sight.  The room in which Via claimed to be her own was an absolute mess!  It was a thin room, shaped like a hallway in front of them, it was six feet wide and twelve feet long.  However a vast majority of the room was stuff!  Not just any stuff though, creations,  the ticking of hoof-made clocks and turning of gears and little moving parts.  There where posters on the wall of basic anatomy and little things hanging from the ceiling.  There was only two feet to walk, the rest was all the stuff.  And yet there stood Via, with an annoyed look on her face, covered in oil, and above her was a shelf, where a spilled oil can stood.

“Oh my god, are you alright?” said John.

“Why...are you...in my room?”

“We where worried.”

“We where curious.”

“Get out.”

“But it's so interesting in here.” said a mesmerized Sherlock, staring at a swiss army knife with medical tools instead of everyday tools.  Via sighed.

“I'm going to get this damn oil off me.” she said, and then squeezed by Sherlock and John.

“Where is the bathroom anyway?  Just asking.” John said, looking at a cage, trying to peer inside of it.

“In the basement.”

“I'm not going back down there.” John shivered.  And looked to the end of the room. And at the end of the “hallway” there was a small pile of blankets and a pillow, with a drawer to on side and a little table to the other.

“Is this where she sleeps?” John mumbled.  He then stared at the contents on the little table, a bottle of whiskey, and book, called The History of Equestria: Volume 1 of 5  John idly flipped through it, looking at the occasional illustration, it was a thick book, at least 350 pages long.

The door slammed open, and a bored Via took the letters from the floor, for John had dropped them and didn't bother to pick them up.

“How did you do that so fast?” asked Sherlock in amazement.

“I have my ways.” Via answered with a smirk, she looked at John, and with one hoof, pushed him out of the way so she could sit on her pile of blankets.  John grumbled a bit, and then Sherlock walked up to Via.

“Was I right, that the top letter was sent by a fashion loving mare who works with jewels and has money but is not rich?” he asked, leaning his head forward

“Oh yes, her name is Rarity, she is visiting from ponyville, I have no idea why she would give me a letter though.”  Via said, inspecting the letter,

“Is she a friend of yours?” asked John.

“No.”

“Do you have any friends?”

“Can you wind your own business?” she said bitterly, gritting her teeth, but then she took a deep breath, and took a swig of her whiskey.

“Want some?” she asked, showing them the bottle.

“No.”

“Not ever again,”

“Never.”

“Ha, fine with me.” she said, and put the bottle down.

“Do you have a cigarettes though?” Sherlock asked.  Via was about to answer, when John interrupted.

“No, Sherlock, you cannot have a cigarette, you've been doing well, and I wont let you give up now.” Sherlock grumbled, and sat down.

“Nice collection though.” Sherlock said, his eyes darting around.

“Mmph.” Via said, and opened Raritys  letter, she swallowed, and then read aloud,  “Dear Via, you are courteously invited to the fashion gala I am throwing on Hearts and Hooves Day.  I have sent this letter to only a select number of mares for they are the ones who put the “fashion” in fashion gala.  I design dresses for these select mares, and they present their dresses to the others.  If you wish to participate, please come to 154 Quartz Ave at 1:00 pm tomorrow.  I know you are thinking of declining this offer, but if you agree to come, I will cancel all of the money you owe me.  From, Rarity.  P.s.  I know you are not currently into that kind of thing, but please, bring a date.”  Via bit her lip in concentration, thinking of the pros and cons of each choice.

“Are you going to go?” asked John.

“Hmm.....eh, Rarity has been nice to me...and I really need to get rid of that debt...I guess I am.” she said and then threw the letter to the table next to her.  She took the second letter and sniffed the yellow pulpy paper.  “Sent by the Canterlot Police Dept.” she read the title, she smirked and ripped open the letter.  She skimmed over it, her smile growing by the second.  “YES!!!  Finally!  Oh thank you!  Yes!  Haha!” she jumped up, and ran out of her room, squeezing past them and running down the stairs.

“WAIT!!  What's so exciting?!” yelled down John.

“Haha!  I got a case!  It's been three days and I got a case!”

A Walk

The click clack of two pairs of shoes walking down a silent side-street, the only sounds are of dripping water from the gutters from last nights rainfall and the two men named John Watson and Sherlock Holmes talking to each other.

"See?  Don't you feel better now that we've taken a nice walk?" said John, smiling.

        "Mmph." replied Sherlock with a grim face, he hated Johns' ideas of a good time to keep him distracted from shooting the wall.  He kicked a stray sidewalk chunk into the road.

"I can't believe I let you bring me along on such absurd things, taking a "walk in the park" is a horrible idea." complained Sherlock, his eyes darting around the empty street, looking for something to think about.

"We didn't even go to the park!  You insisted that we go here, I don't know how you thought that it was a good idea to go...searching for thugs or whatever!" John exclaimed, he was tired of Sherlock complaining he was bored, and whenever he tried to get him to do something, he complained about that!  John was just trying to be a good friend.

"Ha!  Thugs!  That would be interesting." Sherlock said, putting his hands in the pocket of his trench coat.

"Sometimes, Sherlock Holmes, I cannot stand you!  You're always just-" his sentence was interrupted by Sherlocks' hand covering his mouth.

"MMPH!!"  John tried to say under his hand.

"Shhhhh." said Sherlock, his pointer finger resting on his lips. John gave him a puzzled look, and Sherlock looked at him.

"Can't you hear it?" whispered Sherlock, his ice blue eyes scanning the surroundings, obviously captivated by whatever he was hearing.  John decided to go along with it, and strained his hearing in order to find the sound.  He realized there was a gurgling sound...but not just gurgling, swirling and swooshing, sizzling and crackling.

John took Sherlocks hand off his mouth,

"What is it?" he whispered, trying not to disturb Sherlocks' listening.

"I don't know...lets go find out!" exclaimed Sherlock, and starts to speed walk in the general direction of the sound.

Sherlock and John walk about a block from where they where, and skid to a halt in front of an alleyway.  However, it is concealed by a thin sheet.  Sherlock looks at John, his eyes flicker with excitement, they don't dare say a word, they where speechless with curiosity.  Sherlock slides the curtain out of the way, and enters, John close behind him.  They both enter the concealed alley.

         They stare into the darkness, almost hypnotized by the glowing ellipse on the wall ending the alley.

It was a portal.