Chapter the first (and only)
Dear Princess Celestia
Though I am sure you aware already, I have made a big mistake. I committed an act of treachery against the kingdom of Equestria. It was not until I was completely and utterly powerless that I realised what I had done.
I was given the illusion that I would be granted true freedom from my imprisonment if I were to help Tirek grow stronger and steal all the magic in Equestria. What I did not realise, is that the feeling of the bond of friendship was much greater than any amount of anything that Tirek could offer me. In fact, the true bond of friendship is a far greater gift than anypony could offer me.
Though I wasn't sure I could ever feel such a feeling, I started to feel remorseful the very moment I turned Applejack, Rarity, Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie, and Spike in, but none as much as Fluttershy. Though I had to act against my true feelings, I felt something deep inside of me break when I heard her crying. She was the one pony who accepted me even before my reformation, one I could, and really do, call my very first friend, and somepony who, until very recently, I classed as my only friend. It was kind of strange, really. Not two minutes after I betray my friends, Tirek betrayed me. I guess it's true when ponies say “what goes around, comes around.”
Being powerless and trapped in Tirek's bubble gave me time to think. It was not only the events in the lead up to this that proved I was a bad friend, many events before also showed the same pattern. In fact, I don't think I've once correctly shown an element of friendship to anypony since my reformation.
I mean, let's look at them all. Kindness is crossed off the list straight away. Not once have I shown an act of genuine kindness, and it's the same story with generosity, unless you count giving Princess Twilight a silly little cane an act of generosity. I wouldn't, especially since I gave it her to attempt to get under her skin. So there are two elements I haven't shown. I, however, would like to believe I haven't been cruel or selfish, though I guess I can't fully judge that.
Moving onto laughter, the happiness, the pranks, the parties, and the laughing courtesy of Pinkie Pie is completely different to my perception of laughter. Pinkie Pie's perception of laughter is laughing with ponies, my perception of laughter is laughing at ponies. I know the difference now. I guess selfishness and cruelty can be added here after all. I laugh at only my own amusement, which is mostly - if not, always - at the expense of everypony else.
In terms of honesty and loyalty, not only have I not shown these elements, but I've shown their opposite. I've shown dishonesty and severance. You may have heard of Princess Cadence's visit to Ponyville recently, or you may not have. It was a day that I played a grand scale act of dishonesty against Princess Twilight and Princess Cadence, that ended up putting them in danger. I pretended I had the blue flu just to see how far Princess Twilight would go for me and had her and Princess Cadence remove the giant flower. That was when a tatzlwurm attacked. In a way, I was flattered they would do that for me, but it was wrong of me. It wasn't the right time or the right place to test her, especially if I was telling lies to be able to do so. Once again, my tail got bitten though, as I ended up catching a really nasty flu.
I am fully sure I need not explain the act of severance I committed. It is fairly obvious to us both. I let everypony down when I teamed up with Tirek. I was disloyal to the kingdom of Equestria, the ponies within it, and, I guess in a round-about way, I was disloyal to myself because, despite everything I have done, I want to know the true magic of friendship. I no longer want to be the thing everypony fears. I no longer want to be the one everypony hates, I no longer want to be an outcast. I want to be accepted. I want to know true friendship.
The biggest shock of the whole thing, was when Princess Twilight ordered that Tirek released me. I was given a chance to redeem myself by one of the very ponies I betrayed. There are no words, past, present, or future that will fully express my gratitude. It was this very experience that told me that Fluttershy wasn't my only friend, and I was not beyond being accepted.
So, Princess Celestia, it is for this reason that I make a request. With your permission, and the permission of all necessary ponies, I would like to be officially relocated to Ponyville, where I may be surrounded by the best ponies to learn the true magic of friendship. Where I may learn honesty, kindness, generosity, loyalty, and laughter. Where I can finally be truly reformed.
Yours truly
Discord
***
Dear Discord
Whilst I cannot deny your acts against the kingdom of Equestria are punishable by imprisonment, we believe, after everything, you were merely misguided by an evil force. I can't deny that this was something I considered a factor when I chose you for the mission.
However, since you seem to show genuine remorse for you anarchy, I am going to blindly trust you with freedom. Please, do not make me regret this decision.
Now, for the main purpose of this notice. I have spoken to many ponies regarding the subject matter. I've spoken to Princess Luna, Princess Cadence, and, of course, the ponies you will be learning off at the council of friendship. We, as a whole, have reached a decision. You will hereby be a citizen of Ponyville as long as one condition is met. You must write a friendship report to me when you learn a valuable lesson about friendship. It is exactly what I had Princess Twilight and Sunset Shimmer, my former student, do.
Meet Princess Twilight at Ponyville Town Square at high noon tomorrow where you will be escorted to your accommodation.
Princess Celestia
Author's Note
Really got to stop with these letter-based one shots
Anyway, a little idea I was playing with. I did announce this on my profile, but I wasn't going to bother. But now since my long fic is on hiatus, why not?
If this does well, I may write a complete fic involving the mane six teaching Discord the magic of friendship. If it does bad....I still might if I can figure something out.
Feel free to love/hate as you see fit. As always I'm open to criticism.
Thanks.